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Metapost: Hot ‘n’ sweaty comments of the week

HOT ENOUGH FOR YA???? Haha but seriously, it’s almost summer and in many parts of the world it’s quite warm. I will be enjoying summer activities tomorrow and probably won’t have time to get weekend comics up until Sunday or maybe even Monday, so don’t panic if you don’t see them! But for now, enjoy your comment of the week:

“Being stuck in high school forever sounds like my idea of Hell. In other news, I’ve found a way of looking at Luann that makes it genuinely enjoyable.” –TheDiva

And your runners up! Very funny!

“I thought that was Mark’s hand touching Cherry’s nose … you know, the standard way to greet your life-mate after they’ve almost been savaged by a giant bear, with a little lighthearted noseplay.” –Mardou Fox

“Actually, I’m more concerned that this seems very out of character for Mark. He’s asking about the physical well being of his wife, when he should be trying to catch that grizzly bear so he can ride it into the forest fire to punch out the flames. ‘Yeah, great, you’re alive or whatever,’ Mark says darkly. ‘It’s motherfucking bear time.’” –Tophat

“It’s the expression of the purple fish that tells the true story — the horror, the mute, frozen incomprehension. ‘Oh, God, he … ate him. That eight-legged monster just swallowed him whole. Why is no one doing anything? The cops look HAPPY?! Oh, Lord, no. Now he’s pretending to drive! Stop beeping the horn!’” –I am Jack’s username

“Perhaps Mister Wilson is simply shaking with distress over Dennis taunting him with the fact that he cannot in fact smile, having no mouth.” –Sparrrow

“Crossover? Could this be the bear that attacked Cherry? Has he used a whole bottle of shampoo trying to wash off the stench of yet another failure?” –Mikey

“I’m not that familiar with the genre, but how would this make a good reality show? ‘MTV’s A Guy Who Knew a Lady With Cancer’?” –Bob the Builder

“Why ask if Lois loves you, Dot? You’re wearing a Tommy Bahama shirt. That means nobody loves you.” –Doctor Handsome

“‘Sure, let’s assign apes to perform undesirable jobs in our society,’ they said. ‘They’ll never revolt,’ they said.” –Chareth Cutestory

“The most unsettling thing about Heathcliff is the dead, blank look on the gorilla’s face as it prances up, throwing garbage cans around. How long now has this poor creature been putting on this avant garde performance piece? How many nights has he lost himself in his work, slowly dying inside as he realizes the only person that cares is one lone asshole cat who only wants to rifle through his art and eat some comedically large fish bones or whatever out of the trash? The owls call him the Garbage Ape, condescendingly. He is numb to their scorn. He is numb to everything, now.” –Tophat

Funky Winkerbean: “How evil can Frankie’s henchman Lenny be? He put his seatbelt on.” –jim, some guy in iowa

“Why is ‘ennywhar’ rendered in dialect but ‘swear’ is not? Hint to Parson: They rhyme, or should. Your Witness Protection sponsor, or perhaps your KGB mole-runner, should have clued you in better on these local matters.” –Lucy

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