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“Cohabit comfortably together” is certainly a thing humans say

Mark Trail, 6/29/13

Once upon a time, my dad was driving through one of the more rural parts of Western New York when a deer jumped out in front of his jeep, and he ran into it and killed it; the sheriff came by and told him that because it was deer season, he was allowed to take home the carcass if he wanted to. He demurred on this, but it’s always made me wonder if you could just hunt deer by driving around near those deer crossing signs and then intentionally ramming them with your car. Anyway, Mark Trail has already made it clear that it considers “WHAM” a perfectly acceptable gunshot sound effect, but I’d still like to believe that what happened between panels one and two was Death by Truck.

Mary Worth, 6/29/13

Generally, one of the first things people say to me when they start reading my blog is “Wait, Mary Worth is still being published, how is that POSSIBLE, surely no newspaper is actually using part of its dwindling features budget to pay to syndicate it?” Well, here’s a little known fact: Mary Worth has for the last ten years or so been an “advertorial” product entirely funded by the Association of Condominium, Townhouse, and Homeowners Associations. Some days this is more obvious than others.

216 responses to ““Cohabit comfortably together” is certainly a thing humans say”

  1. C. Sandy Cyst
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    You know, a lot of Peanuts strips make a lot more sense now we know that Marcie is the daughter of Mary Worth. Remember the bit where she arrives at Charlie Brown’s house in the middle of a panic attack about not doing well enough at school?

  2. Chip
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    WHY in HELL can’t she move in with TOM and Leave Mother alone in her own condo IN THE SAME DEVELOPMENT!?!? They can still keep an eye on her, dine together, and yet not have her listening as they pound the headboard every night!

  3. KreatureFeatures
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    A spotlighted deer is facing the light source and frozen by it. This one is running away in full stride. Perhaps they have shot Rusty? One can only hope.

  4. Lumaca Morente
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    I snerked at Jump Start today. So sue me.

  5. Liam
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft-”You’ve been put on the ‘No Fly’ list and federal agents are waiting for you at the other end.”

    MW-Condo living especially suits Elinor’s swinging lifestyle.

    MW 2-Mario Puzo’s Mary Worth

    Love Is-Ahhh! Chestbursters!

  6. Liam
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    Pluggers-I see a shallow grave in his future.

  7. Suzy Sunshine
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    Marvin: Hate. Hate the scrawny wife. Hate the combover dad. Hate the grotesque diaper-wearing baseball-hatted baby. Hate the lamps, couch, and carpet.

  8. The Ridger
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    MT: That’s not how you jacklight deer! It doesn’t work that way! I don’t know what they shot, but it wasn’t that buck.

  9. Droopy Says
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Flaccid Wimpybean: Batiuk really surprised me with his writing skills today. In one deft scene he showed how to turn a disliked character into an admirable one: have them behave magnanimously toward a total jerk. Batiuk has Lenny admit he was on the wrong side, find something nice to say about Jessica, and even offer her a ticket out of Cancerville. How can you not admire him?

    Well, easily, if you’re Jessica. Does she care how hard it was for Lenny to find something good about her? If she leaves Westview, she’ll no longer be recognized for her special ability to turn on a light. A job in Hollywood means nothing but becoming a gainfully-employed member of a vast industry. Much better for her to blow off this chance with a snide comment. Now get to work, Jessica, it’s not like Funky can flip that light switch by himself.

  10. KreatureFeatures
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: What can you touch with your nasty sticky fingers, Jeffy? Head on over to Marvin’s comic strip, I’m sure there’s a full diaper calling your name.

  11. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    rCdS: I would SO hire a gutter-cleaning service with a siege tower.

    PBS: 4:33 did it first.

    R&R: featuring gaping hellmouth ala Brooke.

    Bizarro: hope the ump’s a Jedi.

    DT: dang, Diet Smiths boys have ALL the tech on their guns.

    JUMBLE: “another round” doesn’t fit.

    MG&G: unnecessary captions are unnecessary.

    Phantom: NEXT! Avatar state!!!

    6Cx: guest-starring Poteet.

  12. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . mutual orgasms.

  13. Lorne
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    Big Mike Morrison and his Poachers:
    Gotta find a bass player and book a gig.
    I finally found a name for my band!

  14. Lorne
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:11 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth totally misreads the signals and thinks people are offering to move in to her sex pad… AGAIN!

  15. Gary Mule Deer
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#56): Hey, wait a minute..!

  16. Downpuppy Square
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Beth, professional writer, says “cohabit” where an amateur human would say “live”. Do romance novelists still get paid for wordcount, or have they decided that they won’t get married until Tom can marry both of them?

  17. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    shipping.

    otter does a great “srsly?” face.

    none shall pass!! (without biscuits)

    rain corgi. (wonderfully funny art!)

    Lab pup.

    majestic Great Dane.

  18. gleeb
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    3-G: Wasn’t Greg the one who tried to burn down the building? Or was that Alan?

    Barney Google: Snuffy is horrified of the dead, and of those he has wronged.

    Old Man Bizarro: A gag as fresh today as it was in 1980.

    ‘bean: Don’t burn any bridges, Jess. You still have to break ground on the documentary about your father, John Darling, who was murdered, that you came to town to make two years ago. Decent behavior from Lenny, and a rude brush-off from Jess. Who are the monsters in this story, Batiuk?

    Henry: Cruising for an anonymous hook-up.

    Judge Privileged: NEWSPAPERS

    Rex: Heather, there’s such a thing as being too supportive.

    Spidey: Jameson is falling down on the job here. You’re supposed to spring, but only for a one-way ticket, and then dock his pay until the cost of it is met.

    Between Fiends: Taking a break from the horrors of ordering coffee for the horrors of ordering cake.

    Dick: We don’t get to see the car Moon Maid is hot-wiring explode this time?

  19. Gary Mule Deer
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#9): I don’t think you understand. If Jessica goes to Hollywood, her light switch skills could eventually lead to a job as a grip. A key grip, no less. Livin’ the dream!

    Speaking of, I really need to find a copy of Ira Wohl’s Best Boy on DVD. Great film. I am not being paid to say that, but I wouldn’t refuse to cash a check if you happen to send one, Ira, he says while winking at the camera.

    Oops. Gary Mule Deer forgot to change back to his other fake screen name. Mule Deer out.

  20. Stev0
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    No, what happened between panels one and two is they played “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”.

  21. Steffer K
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    MW-Edna Mode’s statement is akin to when people are asked “How are you doing?” And they answer, “Mobile and taking in sustinence” instead of simply “Okay.”

  22. Amos Snarkadder
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    FW Okay, so Frankie and his “reality TV show” are shut down. And Les had nothing to do with it. It was all accomplished by Darin, Summer, and Jessica. I see a demographic shift coming in the Funkyverse: Smirk Trek: The Next Generation.

    A3G “Those sweet, silly, lovely letters.”
    Hasn’t Greg figured out by now that what Margo really wants are those hot, steamy, raunchy text pix of him?

  23. Morgan Wick
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    “Do you own a condo? Have you recently had a new addition to the family and are looking to move into a larger place within the same development so you can all cohabit comfortably together? Mary Worth may be able to help! Call 1-800-MEDDLE-5 today and see what Mary Worth Real Estate can do for YOU!”

  24. Old Folkie
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    MW: “We can cohabit comfortably?” Brooke is now ghost-writing Mary Worth!

    RMMD & FW: So Little Sarah gets a book contract with no writing sample and some crayon drawings, and Jess gets a job offer in big-time LA for a Youtube video of a girl sitting in a chair. This is so NOT the real world…

  25. Ed Dravecky
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean is wholly sponsored by the North American Chinese Food Delivery Consortium. “Next time you want to order a pizza, remember Montoni’s… then call us instead.”

  26. Doctor Handsome
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Poaching, spelunking, whatever. It’s all the same equipment.

  27. Doctor Handsome
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    “I might be able to help! I know the landlord! You know, your current landlord, at the place where you already live! Look, just let me have this, OK? The meddle won’t feel complete if I don’t feel responsible for every mundane aspect of your dumb helpless lives.”

  28. Currer Bell
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    I’m sure this theory has been floated here before, but just in case not:

    Is it obvious to anyone else that Luann didn’t get into drama camp because Tiffany somehow sabotaged her application?

  29. Marc
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    9CL- Holy fucking stupid batman. I honestly don’t know what else to say.

    Mary Worth- Of course Mary can help. Now she finally has a a tennant to replace that that token minority family that she wants evicted. You know, the one’s who plays their hippity hop music too loud and refuse her advances to give advice.

  30. John C Fremont
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @Old Folkie (#24): Little Sarah reminds me of the pipe smoking little girl from Like a Velvet Glove Cast in Iron who draws horsies and writes scripts. But I’m pretty sure that’s just me.

  31. TheDiva
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    MT: No, they killed the strip’s only clip art deer!

    MW: As if Mary would let her new thralls get away so easily, Beth. Welcome to the Hotel Charterstone: you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

  32. Occipital Lobe
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Currer Bell (#28): Actually, that begs a simple question. If Gunther can volunteer at the drama camp … now don’t jump down my throat, I’m just sayin’, but … WHY THE HELL CAN’T LUANN?

    (I’m sorry. I tried to apply logic to a Greg Evans strip. I’m just … sorry.)

  33. The Mighty Captain E
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @Stev0 (#20): Stev0! Thank you so much, sir. That wry comment compelled me to laugh uncontrollably for an extended period of time. Haw! Haw! It was the sort of “Wait, huh? Oh yeah, I get it.” sort of humor that is amongst my favorite manifestations of the comic vein. Good job!

  34. TheDiva
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    9CL: Brooke’s spank material is even more self-gratifying than normal today.

    C’shaft: It’s funny because Crankshaft is such a horrible excuse for a human being that they’d rather lose money to their competitors rather than deal with him again.

    FW: “That’s okay, I was just damning with faint praise anyway. I wouldn’t hire you to film a kindergarten play.”

    Lio: Hey, don’t diss Sesame Street! Barney, on the other hand…

    Luann: Logic according to Luann:
    Despite multiple indications that her boyfriend has zero interest in the hot girl flirting with him, Luann still doesn’t trust him and asks a friend to spy on him for her. Luann is a wonderful girlfriend.

    PBS: Whooo! Play “4’33″!”

    SM: *sad trombone*

  35. commodorejohn
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    I have never once heard “cohabit” used as a verb to describe anything other than what my mother would call “livin’ in sin;” therefore, I conclude that AUGH NO NO NO I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT.

  36. TheDiva
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    @Occipital Lobe (#32): Luann? Volunteer? But that would mean she would have to actually work in some lowly crew position, paying her dues and learning through experience, rather than being handed her full ride to Julliard on the Special Snowflake With Inner Beauty scholarship as is her right.

  37. Illustrator Steve
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    @The Ridger (#8): “That’s not how you jacklight deer!”

    I am not nor ever was a game hunter and, though I was certified as a marksman and trained people in the use of military weapons as an Aviation Ordinanceman in the Navy, I have nothing to do with guns of any type today. But my four brother-in-laws in Maine are avid sportsman and have been hunting deer since they were kids. In Maine they call shining a spotlight into a deer’s eyes JACKING DEER and it is illegal, just as shooting a deer from a moving vehicle is illegal. Not much “sport” in that, , is there?

  38. commodorejohn
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Also, you could theoretically hunt deer via car, but only if you had a steady supply of disposable beater cars on hand.

  39. Bill Peschel
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Luann would also have to be talented to be accepted as a volunteer. So far, the only skill she has exhibited is in being annoying, and there’s plenty of diva at camp already.

  40. debussy fields
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    MW– And if the four of them take to making music and forming a band, the perfect name for their conglomeration would be: The Comfortable Cohabitors.

  41. Bill Peschel
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    So, could someone explain how a dead deer will make our special snowflake hunter happy? Are they going to rig it so it was alive and have him shoot at it?

  42. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Occipital Lobe (#32): Because Gunther has a useful talent. And Luann???? I don’t think they need fluffers for a play about George and Martha Washington.

  43. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    “Condo living suits all our lifestyles” = “Tom refuses to do yardwork, let alone any other household chores.” Beth also might have said “We’re all lazy. Got any more of that salmon mousse?”

  44. Doctor Handsome
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    Would it be churlish of me to point out the redundancy of “cohabit together,” given the tragic ridiculousness of her premise: that the newlyweds could ever live “comfortably” with Ol’ Willem Dafoe-Face?

  45. Peanut Gallery
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    Big Mike Morrison and His Poachers will be opening for Jefferson Starship at the LoFo Arena Saturday Night!

  46. Peanut Gallery
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    @Lorne (#13), @Peanut Gallery (#45): Oops! Sorry, Lorne, I missed your comment the first time I scanned ‘em.

  47. Mustang
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    MT – Josh, if you really like this idea, it’s now legal in Montana. Maybe I should let Big Mike Morrison know too.

    http://laws.leg.mt.gov/legprd/LAW0210W$BSIV.ActionQuery?P_BILL_NO1=247&P_BLTP_BILL_TYP_CD=HB&Z_ACTION=Find&P_SESS=20131

  48. Lily Sincere
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth’s foray into scripted condo sales pitches reminds me of the scenes from “The Queen of Versailles” when we saw the Siegels’ employees selling timeshares. Is Mary Worth secretly building a 90,000 square foot mansion with a bowling alley, hair salon, several swimming pools and possibly even its own Bum Boat franchise? Or is she just shilling for someone else who is? If so, why can’t the strip be about that person?

  49. Rusty
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#38): Sounds like a Pluggers wet dream.

    @Bill Peschel (#41): Some country singer/asshat paid big money to shoot a bear in cage with a crossbow, so some “hunters” have very low self-esteem.

  50. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    DtM – “Dad dropped our cones on the backs of a couple of girls who were sunbathing with their tops unfastened…”

  51. Rusty
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    “Caged bear” was what I was trying to convey.

  52. walt d.
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    FW: This is far more likely to happen than a five year old getting a book deal. And I would guess at least one out of ten times the card receiver would run out as the car was leaving to say, “Uh, actually, I was going to be out there next week. . .”

    It would be more convincing if Lenny offered a spot on a film crew rather than a directorship, but it’s the comics. If Sarah can be an author then I guess Jessica can be a Hollywood director. I would guess that Lenny is less impressed by her lighting than by her surly attitude.

    FW: Well, Tom. It was a disappointing story, poorly told. But today is both funny and true to life. Thanks.

    FW: Really, Jessica in Hollywood making a monster flick sounds way more interesting than Jessica sneering around Westview pretending to make a film about her john, Father Darling.

  53. walt d.
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    MW: Perhaps the writer should check the definition of rarely used words before charging ahead. As long as she’s embalmed I guess it’s okay to live with Elinor as she is clearly dead in the second panel. Kind of off-putting though. The Beth in the first panel looks like the sort of dowdy ageing person who belongs in Charterstone. The one in the second panel looks like a girl I knew in college.

  54. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    GF – Speaking as a dedicated carnivore, Bucky is my hero.

  55. walt d.
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    @walt d. (#52): FW: I would also guess that Lenny has a casting couch. Ow! (Slaps self.)

  56. Downpuppy Square
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    @Downpuppy Square (#16): You may be thinking : Didn’t this bozo even read the post title? No, he didn’t. Yeesh.

  57. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @walt d. (#55): A casting couch sounds like a moldy old sofa set down by the lake by the next batch of n’er-do-wells to populate Mark Trail.

  58. Poteet
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#Y60): Gaaaaah! I had forgotten that. Yes indeed, I withdraw my erroneous claim. It’s nothing but B-wads all the way down.

  59. Hamilton Joe Frank Nash and Young
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    mark Trail it’s always made me wonder if you could just hunt deer by driving around near those deer crossing signs and then intentionally ramming them with your car.

    Hipster wannabe assumptions about hunters as wasteful redneck subhumans aside, why would anyone think doing thousands of Dollars in damage to a motor vehicle is preferable to spending a few bucks on ammo to bag a deer? Especially when you consider the potential need to put it down With a bullet after you hit it anyway?

  60. Poteet
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @Gary Mule Deer (#15): Good heavens, I owe you a huge apology. So to speak. I checked, and although there’s a lot of variation in mule deer size, you mule-deer bucks are generally BIGGER than white-tail bucks, not smaller. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa, and please don’t kick me.

  61. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    @Hamilton Joe Frank Nash and Young (#59): Depends on your craving for venison – some people are absolutely nuts about it.

    Here in Michigan, you can get a tag for a deer killed by a motor vehicle any time of year, so it wouldn’t surprise me if some people had taken to cruising the back roads in a beat-up pickup around twilight.

    Where I live, if you hit a deer, the usual queries from anyone who stops is 1) “Are you all right?” followed by 2) “You gonna eat that?”

  62. Poteet
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    MT — Per Josh’s musings, Iowa is second only to West Virginia in the number of deer collisions with vehicles, but alas, there seems to be no upside. Deer do a hellacious amount of damage to vehicles and sometimes to those inside the vehicles. Last year I went through the process of getting a salvage tag so I could legally move a road-kill deer onto my land for scavengers (I hadn’t killed the deer) and that sucker was HEAVY. Moving it was not easy. And the high number of deer collisions is one more indication that deer overpopulation is being deliberately maintained in many states because of hunting revenues at the expense of the ecological health of the land and the…MMPH! MMMPH! *Anti-Rant Patrol drags Poteet offstage*

  63. Lily Sincere
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#38):

    And then you could, having done a total number on said beater by hitting a deer with it, retire it to the back forty to become an object of target practice. The circle of life!

  64. Poteet
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#61): You make a good point in that free venison is an upside, and I know some people do take advantage of it. But the usual reaction to hitting a deer around here seems to be cursing over the repair bills.

  65. Red Greenback
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    You know it’s been two days indeed
    And Baker hasn’t seen a thing
    A trophy buck was guaranteed
    And a trophy is WHAT we’ll bring

    Come on baby, spotlight that deer
    Come on baby, spotlight that deer
    WHAM that sucker in the rear

    The otter poaching’s gotta wait
    So get the spotlights and the truck
    Get em ‘fore it gets too late
    And we’ll bag that dweeb his trophy buck

    Come on baby, spotlight that deer
    Come on baby, spotlight that deer
    WHAM that sucker in the rear, yeah

    - Words and music: Big M. Morrison, R., R. and J. Poacher
    © Lofo/Woods and Wildlife Music, Inc.

  66. Joshua
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Currer Bell (#28): Some people at Gocomics.com suggested that Tiffany might have switched her own and Luann’s applications to make it look like Tiffany had the lead role in “West Side Story” while Luann was a stand-in in a movie that was never released. However, I found this idea unconvincing, for several reasons:

    1. The applications were probably submitted online, so there would have been no opportunity for Tiffany to interfere with them (without significant hacking skills that she does not have).

    2. Tiffany’s involvement in “Eyes of Zeye” demonstrates an actual commitment to the acting business as a job, notwithstanding the fact that she wouldn’t have shown up on screen and the film was not released. It would make her application stand out compared to many other applicants. By contrast, the camp probably had quite a few applicants who were the female leads in their high school musicals, so Luann wouldn’t necessarily stand out from them.

  67. jim, some guy in iowa
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#62): (takes over rant) and the damn things are hell on tree plantings – end up with a bunch of stunted oaks if you’re lucky. You couldn’t *pay* me to ride a motorcycle on the gravel roads any more, I don’t want to find a goddamn deer in my lap at 45 mph, and – okay. I’ll shut up now

  68. commodorejohn
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @Rusty (#49): Well, if the bear had a crossbow, the odds were at least a little fairer.

    @Lily Sincere (#63): That’s the Plugger way!

  69. commodorejohn
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#62): Hear, hear.

  70. Poteet
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#65): Yay, woo-hoo, excellent! I really like the rhyming and structure! And now, to appeal to some of the younger crowd in the LoFo area, we’ll have Rusty do a rap version! Take it, Rusty!

    RUSTY — What younger crowd?

  71. Claire
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: You know, if you’re going to hire Christopher Walken to play the needy, controlling mother, you ought at least to give him some lines. Otherwise you’re just wasting his talent.

  72. Her Father, John Darling
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#62): And the high number of deer collisions is one more indication that deer overpopulation is being deliberately maintained in many states because of hunting revenues at the expense of the ecological health of the land and the…MMPH! MMMPH! *Anti-Rant Patrol drags Poteet offstage*

    Actually, we need more, not less, hunting to resolve the issue.

  73. Mr. Yezpitelok
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#y62): @Droopy Says (#59): I always serve Trader Joe’s “Two Buck Chuck” with my mail-order deer.

    How much “Two Buck Chuck” would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck “Two Buck Chuck”?

  74. Anonymous
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth sounds like a Montreal politician today.
    Maybe she could meddle that wonderful city back into shape after all the corruption and kickback scandals going on.

  75. Claire
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Hamilton Joe Frank Nash and Young (#59):

    (a) It was a joke.
    (b) “Hipster wannabe” is both a harsh and confusing term — are you saying Josh is a hipster (and thus clueless about “the real world”), but that he also wants to be a hunter? There’s not much overlap in the hipster/hunter Venn Diagram, I’d say.
    (c)It was a joke. I’m sure that Josh realizes that hitting things with your car is a good way to damage the car and yourself.
    (d) What’s with the Random capitalization of Words?
    (e) It was a joke — and one that it no way even implied that anyone is “subhuman.” I respectfully submit that you are projecting.

  76. Calico
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#74):
    That was me-we lost power for about 5 hours last night!

  77. Ratiocinator
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    9CL: You just broke his glasses. How romantic.

    ASM: “Pay for something myself?! NOOOOOOO!”

    Garfield: He’s right. They shouldn’t.

    JP: “They’ll be discreet…unlike SOME PEOPLE I COULD MENTION, I’M TALKING TO YOU, GUY PRETENDING TO READ A NEWSPAPER WHILE SPYING ON US!”

    RMMD: Waitwaitwait. Even if we assume that Sarah’s work was masterful (and it isn’t, we’ve seen some of it in previous strips) what salesmanship? All you guys did was go in, show them your drawings, and ask them to make them into a book. That counts as being direct and concise, but salesmanship? I think not.

  78. Red Greenback
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#70): Let’s call the younger crowd “Lucky”

  79. Chip Whittle
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Luann has me looking forward to the day when Luann herself takes Tiffany’s place in the actual performance, dressed as the Martha Washington As An Earthworm outfit that Gunther’s been working on every night, in his bedroom, for the past eight years. Also to gouging my eyes out.

  80. Calico
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    My then gf (still a dear friend) and I hit a deer at night in Maine 23 years ago – I felt sad because it ran off, wounded, into the fields. We had hair stuck in the dented grill, and luckily we were not hurt, as she slammed the brakes on. The following day we contacted a Fish & Wildlife employee, who came to take photos and record the incident. I hope the poor beast passed on quickly.

  81. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @Her Father, John Darling (#72): Well, there’s no denying that states are managing the herds to produce enough deer to keep the hunters happy. But here in southern Michigan, one of the big problems is that most of the deer are on private land – and the farmers would rather take the crop losses than allow hunters onto their property – a lot of them have had bad experiences with that.

  82. Chip Whittle
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#2):

    They can still keep an eye on her, dine together, and yet not have her listening as they pound the headboard every night!

    Tom asks, “Why would we want to pound the headboard? Would it be doing something which enmaddens us, and if so, why would it do so nightly? Wouldn’t we have replaced a headboard which drove us to such anger? I cannot understand your question, good Chip sir.”

    I’m kind of interested in what a moment of passion for a Mary Worth character would look like, as long as the character isn’t Wilbur Weston and the passion isn’t for salmon-mayo sandwiches.

  83. Jim in Wisc.
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    Meddlin’ Mary: Yes, Mary will be able to help. A larger unit will soon be available … after a Worthian assassination squad liquidates the current residents of one.

    Crankenschäft: Ol’ Eddie seemed truly shocked that rational human beings don’t want to put up with his non-stop assholery.

    Crappy Crapperbean: So, that’s it, huh? Sorry Mr. Batiuk, but that’s coming nowhere close to getting any kind of Pulitzer consideration.

  84. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    JP – So Chi-Chi Rodriguez is making a guest appearance in the strip? No doubt this means that the Parker-Drivers will be invited as his guests to play free of charge at the $500-a-round resort he’s developed not far from where the wedding will be held. Hell, he’ll probably gift them all with new sets of clubs and shoes since they didn’t bring their own. Then we can look forward to the Judge grumbling during the whole round about how Audrey Harrison doesn’t appreciate what a struggle it is for aspiring authors.

  85. tallyHO
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    Heathcliff Poor cradle-robbing, old man! Don’t share your hallucinations with your lady friend. Intead keep those delusions to yourself. All the cat did was blow a kiss to his apartment bound kitty-friend who…

    Waitasecond! Hold the phone! Hold the horses! If you hands aren’t full then hold the mayo, too!

    I thought Heathcliff was involved with a cat who lived in a suburban house. Is that tomcat two-timing with another fluffy, white feline?

    Fer shame, you sly dog, you!*

    *one of the things that tickles me about those sites that feature the comments is that some commenters leave messages directed at the characters, like Nancy and Sluggo, often commending them or warning them of the consequences of their actions. Hoo boy!

  86. Ratiocinator
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @walt d. (#52):

    her john, Father Darling.

    *snrk!*

    @Poteet (#64):

    But the usual reaction to hitting a deer around here seems to be cursing over the repair bills.

    I was wondering about that. I know that hitting a moose can fuck up your car, and while deer aren’t as big on average they’re still big enough to do some damage.

    @Calico (#80): I hope so too.

  87. Joe Blevins
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: I’d like to think that an ominous, lone trumpet is playing on the background during this scene and that Mary is speaking in the whispery, mush-mouthed intonations of Marlon Brando.

    Mark Trail: Jack Elrod may have used the word “WHAM” here because it’s the name of the most-recent pop group he can remember “the young people” enjoying. Besides, neither “OINGO BOINGO” or “A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS” would have fit in the space allotted.

  88. tallyHO
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    A3G:

    If Margo starts singing “My Funny Valentine”, I’m popping the corn.

  89. Mars
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Is that thing about Mary Worth true or not? It’s hard to tell with Josh.

  90. Baka Gaijin
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    @Chip (#2): Tom and Beth “pounding the headboard.” Bwah ha ha ha! For the first few years, Elinor is going to have to remind them constantly what the man does and what the woman does. In great and disturbing [shudder] graphic detail.

    @Liam (#6): Impossible. Due to Plugger tendencies to massive obesity, shallow graves end up looking like Indian mounds.

    @Suzy Sunshine (#7): Don’t edit yourself, Suzy. Say what you really mean.

    @Lorne (#14): The words “Mary Worth” and “sex pad” should never be in the same sentence. No, the same paragraph. Hell, make that “never in the same universe,” just to be safe. EW.

    @gleeb (#18) on Apartment 3-G: It was that guy. You know, the one who wore suits all the time, generally blue, with dark hair and indistinct features that drifted around his face? Yeah, him. That’s the one.

    @Occipital Lobe (#32): Gunther has two things going for him: a marketable talent useful in the acting trades and the ability to be manipulated easily via long-distance phone calls.

  91. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#78): can we chain them to a log?

  92. Poteet
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    @Her Father, John Darling (#72): @cheech wizard (#81): I absolutely agree that more hunting is needed. But hunters can only kill as many deer as the state allows, and as of now, Iowa uses “social tolerance” to determine the size of the deer herd, claiming to be balancing the deer population between hunters, who generally want a bigger deer herd, and drivers and farmers, who generally want a smaller herd. What’s being ignored is how many deer the landscape can support without losing orchids and lilies (preferred deer munchies), ground-nesting bird habitat, young oaks, rare plants, butterflies, etc. I hear some other states have the same problem. Rant over.

  93. Poteet
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#86): A friend told me that hitting even a large adult raccoon can cause a significant repair bill. I didn’t know that.

  94. Poteet
    June 29th, 2013 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#93): Sorry, that should have been “can result in.” The raccoon didn’t work at the auto shop. Though I wouldn’t put it past some raccoon to try that kind of work if the pay were in sweet corn.

  95. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#62): Here we have an overpopulation of deer because “Aw, cute! Look! It’s Bambi at the bird feeder!” overrules a lot of the efforts to thin the ever-growing herds.

  96. commodorejohn
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    @Claire (#75): There’s not much overlap in the hipster/hunter Venn Diagram, I’d say.
    Just give it time. They’ve already got the wearing flannel and beards and drinking cheap shitty beer parts down.

  97. Ratiocinator
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#94): It is well-documented that raccoons are all incorrigible thieves, so I wouldn’t put it past them to pad bills either.

  98. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#93): I could believe it. I once hit one at about 30 mph and it cracked the bumper casing. (I don’t know what happened to the raccoon. It was gone by the time I’d pulled over and went back to look for it.)

  99. Poteet
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#90): I’m not saying your response to Chip was incorrect. I’m just saying gaaaaaaaaaaaah.

  100. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    9CL: If someone I was interested in dating did that with my glasses, there would be no further dates. And there might be some yelling and shoving involved, as well. No one who’s ever had to fumble around on hands and knees feeling for a pair of glasses that fell off the night table would find that funny, let alone sexy.

  101. Baka Gaijin
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#61): In England, if you run over a deer, you can’t keep it but the person in the next car can. I don’t know how often that rule is used; just about the only wildlife I didn’t run over was deer.

    @Joshua (#66): Number 3. Tiffany’s tits stand out, Luann’s don’t.

    @Poteet (#99): Agreed. I’m going to have problems sleeping tonight. No amount of chocolatey Ovaltine will help.

  102. Amos Snarkadder
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#34):

    Luann: Logic according to Luann:
    Despite multiple indications that her boyfriend has zero interest in the hot girl flirting with him, Luann still doesn’t trust him and asks a friend to spy on him for her. Luann is a wonderful girlfriend.

    Why didn’t she just implant a camera somewhere in Quill? Or use a drone to spy on him?
    Oh, wait. Quill pretty much is a drone.

  103. Poteet
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#95): Sympathies — we have some of that too. And it’s not that I don’t like deer, but when someone tells me earnestly that she’d rather allow a small nature preserve to lose an entire rare orchid population to deer-noshing than ever allow a single deer to be shot there, gaaaah. Oops, there I go again.

  104. Poteet
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#97): I agree. SLYLOCK could show raccoons in elaborate bill-padding schemes and I’d just nod.

  105. Poteet
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#100): Amen. Brooke should be forced to read (or reread) certain scenes in LORD OF THE FLIES.

  106. Lily Sincere
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#68):

    What’s the Plugger weigh?

    Probably too much, what with the sedentary lifestyle and poor dietary habits.

    (Sorry, but how could I not?)

  107. Amos Snarkadder
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    MW “Do you plan to stay at Charterstone?”
    I’ve sometimes wondered about who stays and who goes in Worthworld. Does Beth’s enthusiastic endorsement of the “condo lifestyle” mean that the Harpman-Kinley family will become regular characters? Will they compete with Toby, Wilbur, and Dr. Jeff for Mary’s attention? Will there be rivalries? Will there be a range war? I sure hope so!

  108. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#92): In Michigan, farmers can apply for additional permits to manage the deer population on their land if they’re suffering crop damage. But the program seems underutilized.

    I don’t care for it myself, but people are absolutely crazy for venison in this state. About 15 years ago, when I was still a reporter, I interviewed a guy who ran a small smokehouse north of Detroit, where he also processed deer carcasses during hunting season. Business was so good that he had to lease four refrigeration trailers to handle the overflow that wouldn’t fit in his walk-in cooler. I happened to drive by there a few weeks ago and he had expanded to a huge main building with 30-40 semi trailers parked out back, apparently on a permanent basis! He seems to do a pretty good business in smoked meats in general the rest of the year as well.

  109. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#103): Poteet, perhaps some tennis to help regain your Zen?

  110. agony
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    Brooke, I was married to a man with glasses, and I can assure you that there are several considerably more stimulating acts a woman can perform. Maybe if you got out more?

  111. Liam
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    MT-Did you say ‘It’s coming right towards us’?

    FW-”I like to do my smirking in private.”

    Archie-Mr. Lodge isn’t tense. He’s dead.

    A3G-”And those silly love songs too. He’s stopped those silly love songs.”

  112. Calico
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Her Father, John Darling (#72):
    Venison is also quite versatile – my boss and his wife hunt in CT every year and render everything themselves – they make steaks, sausage, and ground meat for burgers
    Ramsay created a venison dish some time ago featured on Master Chef US that sells for almost $70, if I am correct – looked quite good

  113. Liam
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    MW-”We were planning on living somewhere where we don’t need to get permission to do things from a meddling old biddy.”

  114. walt d.
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Sarah briefly shows more sense than the enabling adults, but it passes.

  115. Baka Gaijin
    June 29th, 2013 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#107): Ennui has enveloped me just thinking about your scenario. Ennui I tells ya!

    @Liam (#113): They were going to kick Elinor out once her happy meds wore off?

  116. TheDiva
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#95): The Estes Park area is having similar issues with elk, I understand. The idea that certain animals’ function in the ecosystem involves being eaten by other animals seems lost on some people.

    Worst thing I ever hit with my car was a skunk, which caused no physical damage to the vehicle but resulted in a faint but unmistakeable odor up until the day I sold it. It also resulted in this exchange:
    Me: I hit a skunk with my car.
    Mom: Where did you hit it?
    Dad: Oh, about dead center.

  117. bbofun
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#84): Anybody else automatically read “Chi-Chi Rodriguez” the way Les nessman pronounced it on WKRP IN CINCINNATI? No? I’m just old, then… (for you youngins, he used the long “i” sound for Chi-Chi, and pronounced the last name “Rah-Druh-Gweez.” He also called those small dogs “chi-hoo-ah-hoo-ahs”.)

    9CL- Is this a thing (outside of Brooke’s fevered imaginings)? Has anyone encountered the idea that a woman removing a man’s glasses is inherently erotic for the woman? Or is this yet another example of how the Brookiverse bears no relation to reality?

    MW- Well, I suppose if they find a larger place, once Elinor dies (which shouldn’t be too long- I can’t imagine Tom lasting 6 months before being driven to murder) her room can be turned into a nursery (assuming Tom’s smart enough to get away with it- oh, wait…)

    JP- First- isn’t Judge, Jr. suppose to be in his early thirties? Is THE A-TEAM really a reference he’d make? second- oooh, intrigue! Mysterious man reading a paper! Well, this should pay off in- what do you think? 2, 3 months or so? After all, we still have a kidnapping to deal with, and Judge, Sr. has to discover the true identity of the awful reviewer and why she’s out to get him? And what of Naomi?

    RMMD- I glad Sophie’s just a fictional character, because I would hate to feel this level of hatred toward an actual little girl. (Gee, remember when the Morgans went to San Diego? And there were strippers, and June was in a swimsuit? Gee, those were good times…)

    FW-This still has to come back to Les, somehow- hmm, let’s see…got it! He refuses to read Lisa’s diary- so they make a tape with Summer reading an entry all about how much Lisa misses Les, and should never have left him, etc. Of course, no one will mention how creepy it is to have her daughter reading this to her father, but… yeah.

    Luann- He’s “volunteering’ to make costumes at the camp? Y’know, I’m pretty sure most “drama camps” are actually “theater camps,” and they would be teaching the backstage, “techie” side of things, too. Why? Because more “campers”=more money.

  118. Calico
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Ratiocinator (#86):
    Several folks have died over the years hitting moose in the Northeast.

  119. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#112): Lots of people prefer to have their deer processed professionally, to save time and get better results, though many prefer to do it themselves. Some are quite adamant about it. A friend of mine once got into a bar discussion with a guy who carried on at lengths about it, repeatedly insisting “there ain’t nuthin’ wrong with bonin’ yer own.” Since it was a kind of rough bar and he was an outsider, my friend found it advisable to avoid taking the bait.

  120. yaoi huntress earth
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Wow, what an —hole.

  121. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    MT: Mark, no! Oh wait, that was a literal deer in the headlights.

  122. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    FW: “I’m pretending to look pleased… perpetually. It’s what we do here.”

    C-Shaft: She would have told him to go take a flying fuck, but that would have elicited unwelcome images of Crankshaft in the Mile High Club.

    JP: Or at least they’ll be discreet enough for self-absorbed ditzes not to notice them. No ‘fense, Randy.

    RMMD: That was a good book you wrote, Sarah. A real good book. *looks nervously at corn field*

  123. tb4000
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    Marmaduke: Yes, all the great decisions are made here. Such as, “do we simply consume the human fleshlings raw, or slow roast them over an open pit in order to evenly distribute their flavor?”

  124. Alison
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Suzy Sunshine (#7): Heh, I like that you hate the inanimate objects. “Luann” brings out that kind of loathing in me.

    Speaking of which, Luann is the most annoying kind of girlfriend there is, short of the kind who goes batshit and stabs her man with a pair of nail scissors while screaming, “YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME! YOU DON’T LOVE ME!” with no evidence to back up said claim. Which will probably come later anyways. I mean seriously, getting some dweeb to to spy on her boyfriend? This reminds me of those shitty magazines for teenagers in the 1990s that always had articles like “Watch out for the boyfriend snatchers!” instructing teen girls on what to do if their boyfriends were lured by other, sexier girls. (Those articles should have been two words long: “Dump him”.)

    “Rex Morgan”: Good Lord, Sarah is obnoxious. I bet her book goes something like, “One day, Sarah Morgan decided to go to the museum. Sarah was the prettiest, smartest girl in the whole world, so the museum workers were very happy when Sarah arrived.” Etc.

    “Mary Worth”: Beth talks like she is 65. I do like condo living! I would like to live with my ailing mother! I am happy to be in a retirement community!

  125. Mardou Fox
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    Once some friends of mine, a veterinarian and his wife, were driving in Maine at night and hit a deer. The poor thing was very badly wounded but not dead. They were cursing themselves out because they didn’t have any good vet drugs to put the poor thing down. They did have a stray scalpel. Wanting to hurry the inevitable end, my friend cut the deer’s throat with the scalpel and soon it died.

    It was all pretty traumatic. They got back in the truck and drove a while, then got a little nearer civilzation and, in fact, a rest area off I-95. “Oh man,” they thought. “We need coffee.” They walked into the rest area, wondering why they were getting some strange looks, not realizing until they’d been in the building a short while that they were SPLATTERED WITH DEER BLOOD!

  126. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    GT: “One of them’s bending over though, so… Give me a few minutes.”

    6C: Little did this girl know she had fallen off the flat Earth.

    Shoe: Unlike Stephan Pastis, it’s pretty obvious that Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly don’t allow feedback from their characters re: the jokes.

    SSmth: “’N’ I reckoned my debt would be cancelled when I bashed his… Nope, nuthin’, never mind.”

  127. Amos Snarkadder
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#115): I know, I know. If Mary was going to keep someone around Charterstone, why couldn’t it be Jill or Nola? Those gals knew how to party!

  128. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    SFx: Kinda disturbs me here that the restaurant doesn’t provide high chairs—or any chairs—for toddlers, and they’re just left as easy prey for the table monsters.

    Lockhorns: That’s it, Leroy. No more listening to Amos and Andy tapes before you go out to eat.

    A3G: That teardrop just won’t move, will it? I think Margo needs to hydrate more.

  129. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#122): re: RMMD. Lol. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head.

  130. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#124): Yeah, I once saw a “Golden Girls” rerun where Rose temporarily drove away her boyfriend by having a private eye tail him. At least she had the excuse that Blanche had already paid for it. Meanwhile, who’s paying Gunther? Is he just lowering himself to this tattling task for nothing?

    Sigh. Why am I even asking?

  131. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    @agony (#110): Get out more? There are beefwits out there.

  132. Liam
    June 29th, 2013 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    MT-”What amazing luck. Now we don’t have to drive around in the dark looking for a deer. One just jumped right out in front of our truck. And bullets we don’t need to waste bullets because we just hit this deer with our truck.”

  133. Joe Blevins
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: They’d better hurry that conversation. The wax museum is going to want its Humphrey Bogart back soon.

  134. Gladly, the cross-eyed bear
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    @Currer Bell (#28): Yes, even though that theory makes no sense and, as others have demonstrated, would seem to be practically impossible, since Tiffany is the designated villain, and Luann the heroine who can never fail because of her own inadequacy, it’s exactly the kind of crap that Evans has vomited out, repeatedly.

  135. Walker of Dog
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Lu Ann sees that her roommate is sad but is unable to comprehend the emotional challenges that confront literate people.
    So she licks Margo’s face.

    FC: Nope – too easy.

    FW: Darin, servicing Jessica infra secundum loramentum, receives the Westview version of positive reinforcement.

    GT: I’ll have what he’s having. Oh wait, that’s just a shadow between his legs. The tuna melt will be fine thanks.

  136. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    How is it that I never encountered “Last Kiss” before? It seems it would be right up the alley of this crowd, so maybe I’m not checking in often enough.

    http://www.gocomics.com/lastkiss/2013/06/28

  137. seismic-2
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#136): You have indeed been missing out on some fine chuckles.

  138. Lenoxus
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    I initially thought that “Association of Condominium, Townhouse, and Homeowners Associations” was a redundancy on Josh’s part. How wrong I was. At least it’s not the Association of Condominium Associations, Townhouse Associations, and Homeowners Associations (ACATAHA).

  139. mitchellbravo
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    In the second panel of today’s Mary Worth, I like to imagine that Beth was going to attempt a “Cheer up, darling” gesture to Mary’s chin, but awkwardly missed. Now she’ll have to weigh whether it’s acceptable etiquette to wipe Mary’s sticky lip saliva off discreetly on her clothing.

  140. seismic-2
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    MT: So what’s the scam here? Do they now prop the deer carcass up on a wagon, roll it through the woods some 100 yards or so in front of Mr. Magoo Baker, let him fire at it (whether he actually hits it or not, which he probably won’t), and then tell him that he has killed a trophy buck, with a manly shotgun blast so powerful that it looks as if the deer had been hit by a truck?

    MW: Tom is gleefully rubbing his hands together, shouting “Oh boy! I get to cohabit with Beth and Elinor!” And we were wondering why he’s divorced?

    FW: With a resume’ like that, what are the odds on Lenny’s getting hired by the studio to be the director of Lisa’s Story? Only Les could create a screenplay worthy of this man’s talent.

  141. Walker of Dog
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    JP: Someone’s going to feel foolish when the Elephant Army shows up.

    MT: Poor buck never saw that transparent second panel coming. A true nature-lover would have slapped on a couple of butterfly decals… ELROD.

    MW: Look at Elinor studying Mary in that second panel. Watching. Learning. Biding her time, as the 21st Mary Worth rises…

  142. Alison
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#130):
    I bet Gunther is not getting paid for his spying. He’s doing it for free because Luann is perfect and wonderful and Tiffany is a nasty skank.

    You bring up an interesting point though. This is a real missed opportunity for “Gunthie” (I think his mom called him that, didn’t she?) Gunthie could tell Luann he will act as her spy but only if he gets something out of it. Would be an easy way to make some $$$. Then he could buy, I don’t know, more fabric to make worm costumes. Of course, if this happened, Luann would die of shock on the spot since everyone is supposed to do things for her because of her inner beauty and good nature.

  143. Calico
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    FC – Hair gel?
    You’re welcome.

  144. Calico
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#140):
    “Everybody loves Tom”, but only closer – gackkkk

  145. Peanut Gallery
    June 29th, 2013 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#111):

    A3G-”And those silly love songs too. He’s stopped those silly love songs.”

    You’d think that people would’ve had enough of those.

  146. Amos Snarkadder
    June 29th, 2013 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#140):

    MW: Tom is gleefully rubbing his hands together, shouting “Oh boy! I get to cohabit with Beth and Elinor!”

    Tom? Tom was at work. He was nowhere near the place.

    Yeah, that’s right, just working on some future plans.

  147. Uncle Lumpy
    June 29th, 2013 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#62):

    … indication that deer overpopulation is being deliberately maintained in many states because of hunting revenues at the expense of the ecological health of the land and the …MMPH! MMMPH!

    KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL!

  148. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    June 29th, 2013 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    Alley Oop: Run, Doowey, run for your life! Keep running until you hit Judge Parker – they nominally enjoy the rule of law there!!

    The Amazing Spider-Man: The past year has just been a set up for Peter Parker’s de-evolution into male prostitution, hasn’t it. Clown-9 tried to save him, Freddie Mercury tried to save him, Kingpin…well, Kingpin tried to put him out of his misery, bless his heart. They’ve all seen it coming and been unable to stop it. Get back home, Peter. Mary Jane’s waiting for you with her high-heeled shoes and her low-necked sweater. Get back home.

    Apt. 3-G: Has anyone said “Well, what did you expect?!” yet? Someone, anyone? Narration box? No? Well, then. Somebody cue up “Heart of Glass,” please.

    9 Chickweed Lane: I suppose “balderdash” doesn’t really mean “We are creatures of a cruel and perverted God living in a simulation of supposed reality. Kill me now before we find ourselves in Pibgorn,” but after a few drinks I can believe anything.

    Dick Tracy has fallen far in later years, having to depend on loaners from the Get Off My Lawn Squad to take part in his batshit-insane adventures. Were the Zombie Ronald Reagan still around, this would make a far better Dick Tracy movie than that shite with Warren Beatty and Madonna.

    Mark Trail: Fun fact: “Wham!” is more than the sound of Death By Truck, more than even the sound of our longed-for Rusty shooting. It’s the sound of skipping across the interstices of time and finding yourself in a warp so deep that even Devo would make fun of your hat.

    Shoe: Fact-checking the comics: the Amish are not a Mennonite sect. In fact, it’s pretty much the opposite. Amish, Mennonites, Brethren and Hutterites (I think) are all Anabaptists, with each local group deciding how much accommodation they want to make with the outside world. Generally speaking, the Amish are the strictest: they keep the closest to the traditional Anabaptist ways. But there are Mennonite groups that are well-nigh indistinguishable from the Amish, and some that are more modernized. A better joke that no one would have got would be to make the punchline “Amos and Andy,” Amos being a very popular name among both Amish and Mennonites. I refuse to speculate on the horrible implications of chin-bearded bird-men driving a horse and buggy. That’s what you’ve got Uncle Lumpy for.

  149. Huckleberry Fink
    June 29th, 2013 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: JP Junior needs glasses. That’s the only rational explanation for his inability to see Alpine-Hat-Hawaiian-Shirt-Man standing in the foreground. Or maybe this is Woody Wilson’s version of “The A-Team Meets Mr. Magoo”!

    ¡PLOP!

  150. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    June 29th, 2013 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#62): Yes, it’s fairly common for northern Wisconsin deer sausage to begin its life in the front grill of a ’96 Buick. Why do you ask?

  151. Rabid Rabbit
    June 29th, 2013 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    MW: What is perfectly clear is that Elinor is actually referring to Mary as “Mother” in the first panel, mentioning that she & Tom intend to move in together. As the apparition of the Disembodied Head of Mary proved a few days ago, Mary is after all the Holy Virgin, fit to be worshipped and referred to as Mother.

  152. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    June 29th, 2013 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#143): I have this vision of Jeffy walking around with his hands permanently attached to his hair. Now, there’s a comic I would read.

  153. Huckleberry Fink
    June 29th, 2013 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    Henry: Apparently, Henry and his friend are both into bondage*. (Those ARE Chinese handcuffs, aren’t they?)

    *I won’t even try to speculate about what OTHER psychosexual hang-ups Henry might have!

  154. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 29th, 2013 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

  155. Odie Odo
    June 29th, 2013 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    Edge City Len’s lousy life just got worse — if such a thing is possible.

    Family Circus Momma Keane will be sorely displeased that her oldest child
    has been touching himself again.

    Spider-Man The score so far:

    Dudley Doo Rag: 0
    J. Jonah Jameson: 1

  156. TheDiva
    June 29th, 2013 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#154): I think Brooke may be confusing this with the Glasses Pull, which despite not making a lick of real-world sense can be quite attractive if done properly (Cf. Anthony Stewart Head). A true Glasses Pull is, of course, performed by the person wearing the glasses–someone else removing the glasses, as others have noted, usually results in nothing but getting their hands smacked away in protest.

  157. UncleJeff
    June 29th, 2013 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#25): Loved that one.

  158. UncleJeff
    June 29th, 2013 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#65): Loved that one, too (especially the credits).

  159. Sequitur
    June 29th, 2013 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    Sometimes the deer survives.

  160. Droopy Says
    June 29th, 2013 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    MT Pity that Squint McScrawny didn’t get to shoot the deer. Odds are he would have started crying when he figured out that you have to kill Bambi to get that trophy.

    One Reckless Retcon: So we go from learning that DFL got pregnant by a kid who vanished from her life, to learning that she got pregnant by a nasty kid who vanished from her life. No actual issues–date rape, abortion or an adopted kid’s curiosity about a biological parent–were invoked. Is this the actual end of the non-story, or are we in for more wanking about DFL?

    Shoe: The vaguely racist joke makes me think that Roz’s lunch counter should be the target of a shit-in.

  161. UncleJeff
    June 29th, 2013 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    OBH: OK, Rick. I know all us guys do it. We just try to do it subtly so we don’t get the dreaded “hey guy, my eyes are up here”.
    But seriously dude, your character is an 8 year old boy and this is a family comics section.
    (Still, I gotta admit I laughed and the kid’s smirk was well-drawn.)

  162. Sequitur
    June 29th, 2013 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#154):

    Oh, no you don’t. I moused over that link. It goes to TV tropes and I’m not about to get lost in that for the next few hours. Besides, it’s only 15 minutes until dinner time. Or supper time. I forget which but I’ll be eating not exploring.

  163. Elk Meadow
    June 29th, 2013 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#66):

    The acceptance letters were mailed via snail mail, weren’t they? Therefore, Tiffany and Luann’s were put in the wrong envelopes and sent out. I call that Tiffany’s drama camp roommate is going to point that out, and we’ll end up with whatever that story line is that was going on in the webcomic Candi….

  164. Odie Odo
    June 29th, 2013 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    To the spammers who have sent me nearly 900 messages in the last 24 hours:

    I hope you all die and are reborn as characters in Pibgorn.

  165. Calico
    June 29th, 2013 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#145):
    “Here I go…again.”

    Margo cannot be pleased, ever. Someone please sacrifice something for her ASAP.

  166. Majicou
    June 29th, 2013 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Since this “story going around” is utterly implausible even by Brooke’s standards, I assume Sveth Model 2X4B-LL89 made it up so that Burberhive Adjunct 07 would toss away his glasses, since she hadn’t treated him like a living prop in several minutes and he was getting anxious.

    RMMD: Heather in unseen third panel: “Subject is becoming suspicious of this narrative. I say again, subject is becoming suspicious. Recommend crisis intervention contingency plan 4A.”

  167. Majicou
    June 29th, 2013 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    @Majicou (#166): Fourth panel, rather.

  168. Uncle Lumpy
    June 29th, 2013 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#148):

    I refuse to speculate on the horrible implications of chin-bearded bird-men driving a horse and buggy. That’s what you’ve got Uncle Lumpy for.

    The bird-man is Amorous T. Fishawk, well-liked in his small community. He calls his horse “Pluto” but its real name is “Goofy.”

  169. walt d.
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#161):OBH: I went looking for this and didn’t find the action described under GC, Creators or other sites. Is there more than one long form of OBH? I did somewhat laugh at this week’s Creator strips. Jealous? That would be a yes. The line about the disguise was a good one.

    Pajama Diaries: Not allowed to date until she’s 16? Is that even legal? Isn’t there something about that in one of those UN child rights declarations? Probably just wishful thinking on the cartoonist’s part.

  170. Anonymous
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    A deer that’s been gut-busted (say, from collision with your truck or from being shot in the stomach) is NOT good eating in most cases.

    Maybe driving around deliberately hitting deer in an armored truck of some sort is a good answer to the overpopulation problem though. Kind of hard to deal with them otherwise when they just hang out in the park and cemeteries in the middle of town all day and eat people’s plants at night.

    There was a very naïve period in my childhood when I thought deer were friendly and lovable. How I long for those days…now they’re just pests, large pests with sharp hooves that aren’t afraid of people at all and make me nervous about taking nephews for walks in the park because the little guys are as dumb as I was and think running up to try and pet them is a good idea. :(

  171. walt d.
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    9CL: We got two amusing strips this week. I think that meets industry standards. I also don’t think there would be a lot of argument about which two those were.

  172. demoncat4
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    mw i may be able to help translated in marys words means she is going to make some one disappear so beth and tom can have a bigger condo. for once again mary to the rescue of beth.

  173. Sequitur
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

  174. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#165): FTFY: Someone please sacrifice something for to her ASAP.

  175. Pinewood Tom
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    Piranha Club: No wonder the baby prefers creamed spinach — Aunt Effie’s cookies are CLINKERS.

    If you don’t know who “Effie Klinker” was, you probably aren’t a Plugger

  176. The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#168): Maybe it’s that I just saw an ad for “Con Air” on the boob tube, but I so imagined a Michael Bey-style explosion behind you as you said that.

  177. Baka Gaijin
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    @Amos Snarkadder (#127): As far as I know, Nola still lives there. Mary never threw a “Good Riddance, Skank!” party. You totally know she would.

    @seismic-2 (#140): I think they’re gonna give/rent to Mr. Peepers a truck bed full of dead deer, then charge a big fee for making into deer burgers and mounting the head into a trophy.

    @Alison (#142): You make it sound like Luann is part of the Judge Pissyface crowd. Hm, that could explain a lot.

  178. Sequitur
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    DtM: Cones hiding moobs? Not necessary.

  179. Baka Gaijin
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan (#148) on Mark Trail: Oh my! [/George Takei] You hid that bit of insane cleverness inside that post. COTW contender!

    @Huckleberry Fink (#153): Well, you’ll have to speculate. He ain’t gonna tell ya. Thankfully.

    @Droopy Says (#160) on Shoe: Was that a typo? I hope it wasn’t a typo. Please say it wasn’t a typo.

    @Anonymous (#170): To summarize, you wish to have the mentality of Lu Ann Powers, yes? The whole “ignorance is bliss” thing.

    @Sequitur (#178): Were they pointy cones he could paste each onto his nipples in a tribute to Madonna.

  180. Sequitur
    June 29th, 2013 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#179):

    Then his stripper name would be “Chilly Nips.”

  181. Baka Gaijin
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#180): Hee hee. Wonder what his stripper name would be now? Flatty La Mour?

  182. Cheese-n-Pear
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#87): In honor of the eightie’s punk song by the Dickies: “I Cohabit in a Condominium (With Mr. Marlo Brandolineum)”

  183. Uncle Lumpy
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    My stripper name is “Uncle Lumpy.” I don’t make a lot in tips.

  184. Beetle Bumstead
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    MT: Out here in the most rural parts of Western New York, the practice is known as “Jacklighting” deer and guns do not go “WHAM”. Neither do pickup trucks hitting deer. If the sheriff is like the one in my county, that deer did not stay on the road for more than an hour after your dad left the scene.

  185. Cloudbuster
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#84): “Chi-Chi Rodriguez”

    Thanks to WKRP in Cincinnati I can no longer read that name without pronouncing it in my head as “Chigh-Chigh ROD-we-gaze.”

  186. Cloudbuster
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @Joe Blevins (#87): I was figuring Elrod’s pop knowledge started to peter out sometime around the appearance of The Kingston Trio. Way to stay relevant, Jack!

  187. Odie Odo
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#180): His fraternity brothers at Heidelberg University used to call him “nips mit chill” (Nips Mitchell).

  188. Cloudbuster
    June 29th, 2013 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Having my glasses tossed across the room isn’t particularly erotic, but having a girl’s boobs pressed into my crotch, yeah, that does it for me.

  189. Huckleberry Fink
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    @Odie Odo (#187): Henry Mitchell is the only student in the history of Heidelberg University to have a dueling scar on his backside.

  190. Calico
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    @Mardou Fox (#125):
    ZOMBIES
    Your Vet friend did the right thing. However, at the rest stop… : {

  191. Droopy Says
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#179): It wasn’t a typo, although considering the quality of the strip it’s probably been targeted that way many times.

  192. greghousesgf
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#117): i was never a big fan of WKRP, but I do remember the Exxon oil spill in the eighties and not having any idea why people kept pronouncing “Valdez” as if it rhymed with “cheese”.

  193. greghousesgf
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    Why is Dennis the menace eating black ice cream?

  194. Pinewood Tom
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#149): Isn’t “Alpine-Hat-Hawaiian-Shirt-Man” Michael’s friend Lawrence from For Better or For Worse? It’s also interesting that the Lawrence in Judge Parker is hanging around a woman named “April” (April being the name of the youngest Patterson child).

  195. Odie Odo
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    @greghousesgf (#193): Why is Dennis the menace eating black ice cream?

    Haven’t you heard of Black Cow Ice Cream?

    http://www.blackcowicecream.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/storefront.jpg

  196. tallyHO
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#173):

    That old man on the bench better count his lucky stars that Heathcliff didn’t do some projectile hairballing….which sounds much worse than it did prior to typing it out…much worse. hairballing. a verb.

  197. Huckleberry Fink
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    @Pinewood Tom (#194): You just blew my mind. That means Smelly’s husband John is now a retired spy living in Mexico!

  198. cheech wizard
    June 29th, 2013 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#185): Thanks to DEVO, I can’t think of Chi Chi without visualizing that hideous image from their album.

  199. Mardou Fox
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#190): @Beetle Bumstead (#184): In Michigan they usually say “shining deer” but in Vermont they generally say “jacking deer.” We should make one of those maps, like soda vs. pop.

  200. jim, some guy in iowa
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

    @Mardou Fox (#199): mostly “spotted” here though some are “shined”, and we drink “pop”

  201. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#183): My stripper name is “Uncle Lumpy.” I don’t make a lot in tips.

    That is just SO unfair. People should judge an artist by his/her talents. I’m sure you do a mean pole dance.

  202. Nehemiah Scudder
    June 29th, 2013 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @Mardou Fox (#199): By gad! There’s a master’s thesis in there! Let’s say you “jacked” or “shined”‘ a deer, and put the meat into large, elongated sandwiches. Would they be grinders, or subs, or po-boys, or torpedos, or guineas, or heros, or…

    // And would you serve it with “pop” or “soda”?

  203. Sequitur
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#201):

    Yeah, you should see his dance with Lech Wa??sa.

  204. Sequitur
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#203):

    Or Lech Walesa.

    (Dang Polish letters.)

  205. Droopy Says
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    The Self-absorbed Spiderman: After monitoring this conversation, the NSA quit en masse.

    Feebly Wastedtimebean: It’s amazing how nothing keeps happening.

    Family Circus: That’s our Thel, doing her part to make childhood obesity a going concern.

    Judge Pissyface: “Nobody will give me the information I need to harass my only critic! What’s with these Bolshie literary types? Haven’t they heard that a Supreme Court justice said there’s no right to privacy?”

    Phantom: “Look, Mandrake, it’s the entire cast of Jugs Parker! And over there, it’s Mary Worth and the Westons! And there are Pluggers chewing on the life preservers like they were giant doughnuts! But why do both of the lifeboats have ‘Titanic’ written on them?”

    Pluggers take teabagging to a new low.

  206. walt d.
    June 29th, 2013 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    FW: Making the world safe for Les being the only one allowed to profiteer off a cancer victim. Makes a fella proud. Some night when you stumble home from your minimum wage job covered with flour and oil, you might think about that, Darin. It’ll be especially poignant when your wife emails you from California that the project is taking extra time and she’s not really sure when she’ll be back.

  207. walt d.
    June 30th, 2013 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    FW: They should have run this one on Fathers Day. First it would have a special bitterness for all fathers who chose not to be, or weren’t allowed to be, there while their children grew up. Second, it would mean that this badly executed story would have been over for a couple weeks now.

  208. Droopy Says
    June 30th, 2013 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    FW “You are one tough cookie! No, seriously, between the preservative-laced flour in the pizzas and the toxins in the water, your skin has turned in a brittle, unappetizing husk.”

  209. Dr. Weird
    June 30th, 2013 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#96):

    Actually hunting is up as it becomes seen as a hip, young, eco-friendly and locovore-related practice.

    http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2012/12/hunting_by_liberal_urban_locavores_is_a_trend_good_for_the_environment.single.html

    Of course, since Pluggers were hunting before it was cool, this makes Pluggers hipsters! A black hole will now destroy the universe.

  210. J. Elhew Bisbee, Hobo Detective
    June 30th, 2013 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#96): Ha! You made me do a spit-take.

  211. TallyHO
    June 30th, 2013 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    In Saturday’s “Mark Trail”, that “WHAM” looks like the confluence of the Beetle Bailey universe and the Funkyverse colliding and causing deer to just drop dead.

    I’ve heard many a tale told but I never thought I’d live to see the day nor did I ever think that I would live through such a day.

  212. Señor Wences
    June 30th, 2013 at 4:33 am [Reply]

    @Huckleberry Fink (#197): @Pinewood Tom (#194): You just blew my mind. That means Smelly’s husband John is now a retired spy living in Mexico!

    “Join us next week when Federated Lard again presents Patterson, Ace of Spies… Federated Lard, the brand of lard preferred by security guards!”

  213. Señor Wences
    June 30th, 2013 at 5:00 am [Reply]

    Gratitude AND platitudes — today’s Mary Worth runneth over!

  214. The Ridger
    June 30th, 2013 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#37): Jacklighting is illegal pretty much any place I’ve ever lived. As is shooting them from a moving vehicle, although at one time you could get dogs to chase them past your parked vehicle, in N. Carolina… while you sat there hopefully not getting too drunk to drive back home.

  215. The Ridger
    June 30th, 2013 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    Zits: I realize I focussed on the wrong thing, but really? Jeremy can wash AND dry his hair in the time it takes Walt to finish shaving and brush his teeth?

  216. Gabi
    July 1st, 2013 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    Oh my gosh, I am so pleased with Spider-man lifting up his mask to talk on his cell phone. THIS is exactly the kind of thing J. Jonah Jameson wants pictures of.

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