The Comics Curmudgeon

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Dick Tracy presents: Destruction, for men

Mark Trail, 1/9/09

“Dear Penthouse: I never thought this would happen to me, but one day I came home from a long trip early in the morning, with my dog Andy, and found my wife with both of her hands touching another lady! Andy is a St. Bernard! The lady who isn’t my wife was blonde, and my wife was wearing her robe! They leaped away from each other when I came in, and yet it still made me feel funny, somehow, as if I were seeing something unlawful! Andy sure is a good old dog! That’s why I take him on trips, instead of my wife! Later, my wife told me she had changed her hair, but I didn’t notice. I hope you print my letter! Sincerely, Mark Trail.”

Dick Tracy, 1/9/09

The current Dick Tracy plot is only just getting underway, but since it revolves around Tess attempting to market a Dick Tracy line of cosmetics, it may already the strip’s most laughable yet, since the Dick Tracy brand mostly consists of his impossibly square head and cheerful fascism. It’s appropriate that the final panel juxtaposes the phrase “doesn’t smell right” with a flaming house in which a scientist has just accidentally immolated himself, as the Dick Tracy cologne will smell mostly of seared human flesh.

Marmaduke, 1/9/09

When Marmaduke viciously claws at the eyes of random passersby, blinding them, his owner refers to his violent acts as “kisses.” I shudder to imagine her home life.

Oh, yes! Don’t forget:

(Thanks to Uncle Lumpy for the graphic! And vote for Ces and Medium Large, too!)

This entry was posted on Friday, January 9, 2009 at 06:13 am and is filed under Dick Tracy, Mark Trail, Marmaduke.

333 responses to “Dick Tracy presents: Destruction, for men”

True Fable
January 9th, 2009 at 6:26 am [Reply]

Tess has some of the most geometrically shaped earlobes I’ve ever seen.
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 9th, 2009 at 7:01 am [Reply]

Do you think Mark even know that he’s married? Maybe he’s holding out hope that Cherry, like most of the other visitors in his home, will eventually regain her strength and find her way back to her natural habitat. That look in the last panel seems to say “Oh, no! That one’s still here! And her scent is beginning to attract others of her species.”
Aitherion
January 9th, 2009 at 7:10 am [Reply]

It appears that Marmaduke is drooling, but what do we know about Marmaduke? That white thing hanging out of his mouth isn’t his tongue; it’s the scarf of his previous victim, dangling from his mouth as he stares crazily at his future prey. He just keeps it there to add to the effect.
yellojkt
January 9th, 2009 at 7:41 am [Reply]

Enough with the fake Forum set-up, I want to read some Andy/Marmaduke slash fiction.
Saluki
January 9th, 2009 at 7:41 am [Reply]

Silly Josh. Mark doesn’t read Penthouse. He reads Pethouse.
gleeb
January 9th, 2009 at 7:56 am [Reply]

Pigborn: So, ass and death.

A3G: Why does Eric have lemon soap? He has no lemons, nor any other food, in his kitchen. Seriously, though, Margo, born on the wrong side of the blanket, knows where secrets are kept.

Dick: Think of it! People eaten by dogs, electrocuted, and pushed into tugboat funnels all across the country!

Doonesbury: No, but you can mine the story arc with a backhoe to fill up some empty weeks in January.

FC: Dolly is about to give Kittycat a swift kick. She’s the kitten-eater!

‘bean: A whole week. That’s how long we readers, most of whom are not in marching bands, have been subjected to this message. But it’s all worth it to see that Dinkle wears a human embryo in his ear.

Heidi Roberts, caring cop!: I’m glad to see she’s got over the shooting so easily as to be able to flirt with passionless lump Sam Driver.

Sally: Sorry, Hilary, but I don’t think you can be the cruller that brings these two together.
Little Guy
January 9th, 2009 at 8:07 am [Reply]

S4th: “We’ve secretly kidnapped Ces and replaced him with a tired old hag from Canada. Let’s see if anyone notices….”

(Meta: Medium Large is within 50 votes of third!)

Candorville: Rox is the Final Cylon, and what the Fleet saw at the end of last half-season’s finale is her doing.

RwO: Bruins shoutout!

MT: Sadly, this is the closest Jackelrod will get to a menage a trois.

9CL: Is there anyone who can call this foul proctor on her sh*t and get away with it?
Sarcazmo
January 9th, 2009 at 8:32 am [Reply]

One would think that Marm’s pointy serpent-tongue would tip off his owners to his true nature. I guess referring to his eye-clawings as “kisses” just reinforces how deep in denial they are, as he is clearly more Satan’s dog than theirs.
Ilpalazzo
January 9th, 2009 at 8:37 am [Reply]

JP: Heidi, you just aren’t trying.

Correct response:

“My wife wants to see the Grand Canyon again.”

“So give her a mirror & a flashlight, counselor.”

(Or, I suppose, she could stop by Mark Trail’s cabin.)
Isaac
January 9th, 2009 at 8:49 am [Reply]

Marmaduke apparently “kissed” a snake, then ate it.
I can understand his owner’s worry.
Brick Bradford
January 9th, 2009 at 9:11 am [Reply]

I found the juxtaposition of “the aura of Dick Tracy” and “something doesn’t smell right” to be self-snarkng. There’s nothing I can say that would improve on it.

MT And Mark barges in just as things are getting good, trailing the dangling threads from the last plot behind him.

9CL I’m somewhat new to 9CL, but it’s clear that Juliet is MUCH more interesting than her vapid daughter.
Adrianne
January 9th, 2009 at 9:22 am [Reply]

Loving the A3G coloring today … a burgundy “Tiffany’s box”!
jvwalt
January 9th, 2009 at 9:29 am [Reply]

I can hardly wait for the Dick Tracy Cologne billboard: Giant Dick Tracy head glowering directly at the viewer, with the words “SMELL LIKE DICK!” beneath.
Harpa
January 9th, 2009 at 9:33 am [Reply]

2nd panel of DT: since when did Tess turn into Joan Rivers????
kalki
January 9th, 2009 at 9:35 am [Reply]

9CL: Memories…like the corners of my mind…

Archie: “So, then…you’ll also be needing a chainsaw, ax and a priest then, huh?”

Beetle: I think I will alter the second panel to paint Beetle’s deceased corpse green and then have the bluebirds be vultures pecking at Beetle’s rotting carcass.

Crank: “ooo, touch his stomach here and I think you can feel the mouse’s back end and tail. Hey look! The front end is coming out already. Wanna see?”

DTM: “I see. So instead, you went for the guy who is plugging your mom at home when your dad is at work. Good job, Dennis!”

CircusJerk: Especially when their necks are obviously broken from your jerking on them with a leash, you sadistic Violet Beauregarde wannabe.

Hi/Lois: “I owe my soul to the company store.”

FW: A bean sprout?

GA: Why is Slim talking into a pumpernickel hot dog bun in the 3rd panel?

Luann: Behold your future, Bernice!!!
buckyswife
January 9th, 2009 at 9:45 am [Reply]

MT: I’m trying to imagine what “silly” thing brought Patty into the wilds of Lost Forest in the wee hours of the morning. “It’s such a little thing…. It’s just that, this grizzly bear burst into our house last night, and it ate one of the children and has the rest cornered, and I’ve grown so attached to them, so I thought that, you know, perhaps you and Mark could stop by when you have a chance….”

JP: Will this endless forced-flirtatious good-bye never end? Dear Heidi: He’s just not that into you. All the little sideways hints in the world ain’t gonna change that.
buckyswife
January 9th, 2009 at 9:46 am [Reply]

FC: And Dear Dolly: Your kitty isn’t unwilling. He’s dead. Please stop dragging him around and scolding him; doing so won’t bring him back to life.
papa zita
January 9th, 2009 at 9:51 am [Reply]

MW: Dad was a mediocre skater? Color me surprised.

9CL: Juliette’s anatomy is suddenly reminiscent of Chris Muir’s women, who all seem to have no spine.

A3G: She found it! Yes, Margo, it’s the blowoff gift he was saving. Too bad your consolation prize isn’t really from Tiffany. Only the box.

Rex Morgan, Cabin Boy: I told you he was part of the wait staff now!
Cranky
January 9th, 2009 at 9:52 am [Reply]

Check out the look on ol’ Andy’s face! Andy is way more into hot lesbian action than Mark Trail.

Also: a potted plant is way more into hot lesbian action than Mark Trail.
Patrick
January 9th, 2009 at 10:01 am [Reply]

With those widely-extended arms, motion lines and bounding dog, I suspect Mark doesn’t understand what “sneak in” means.
Jumper
January 9th, 2009 at 10:03 am [Reply]

There’s at least one gag available that concerns Marmaduke being the secret artist behind the Dick Tracy thing.
Tim
January 9th, 2009 at 10:04 am [Reply]

12. I saw that too and immediately came here to see the snark…
AMSTERDANG
January 9th, 2009 at 10:07 am [Reply]

I don’t know why Margo is the least bit surprised by the content’s of Eric closet. Her dating history makes clear that all her lovers live by the same song: Step One, get a red Tiffany’s box. Step Two, detach and put your dick in the box.
Jumper
January 9th, 2009 at 10:07 am [Reply]

Speaking of gag…….(delete) Josh in his undies?
AMSTERDANG
January 9th, 2009 at 10:08 am [Reply]

My wife would be horrified by not one but two apostrophe errors in the post above.
rollersnakes
January 9th, 2009 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Ok Josh- the voting banner doesn’t work. I had to SCROLL DOWN THE PAGE to find the link from two days ago. What kind of time do you think I have?!
billytheskink
January 9th, 2009 at 10:34 am [Reply]

I do believe that Tess has mistaken Sam the Eagle (of the Muppets) for Dick Tracy.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 9th, 2009 at 10:47 am [Reply]

DT: It is amusing the way we see half of Dick’s face staring ahead as Tess gesticulates behind him. I’m going to read Locher’s homage to the Richard Avedon/Calvin Klein ads as deliberate.

MT: Mark could walk in on Cherry and the blonde having full-on lesbian sex and he’d say, “Good. You keep up the CPR, I’ll get the snake venom antidote.”

M-Dawg: Notice that both the husband and wife are walking funny? Bet you wish you didn’t.

SFx: The spider has a mouth instead of mandibles, but that mouth looks kind of like a sideways… Moving right along, here…

DtM: Of course there’s not enough snow. They;re standing on green grass. Subtle global warming commentary?

MF: Tinz actually pulls out a decent caricature today. Of course a caricature of Kenneth from 30 Rock doesn’t really go with the text, but it’s something.

H&J: Speaking of weddings, notice that Herb is sitting with Jamaal, and not his wife and kids. However do these rumors get started?

JP: “If by Grand Canyon you mean my gaping vagina.”

RMMD: I’m not so much bothered by the fact that Rex is enabling two elderly drunks. It does disturb me to realize that this is the most medical thing he’s done in the past year.

6C: A cop is called in to defend donuts. It’s a sacred task, really.

9CL: Elliot hunches over to hide his erection from the trustees. Of course it’s been so long for these guys that they might not recognize it if they saw it.

FC: And cat’s have claws, so if you keep on pestering… Nah, let’s just sit back and enjoy.

Shoe: What really makes my head asplode is that Shoe seems to be more in touch with the contemporary art scene than A3G is.

Luann: Bernice, your teachers are like, five feet away.

GA: Next week: Slim’s heart attack, fun for the whole family.

FB: “Oo look, I put two words together. That’s what a joke is, right?”

Baldo: A lot of us guys have fantasies about J. Lo leaning over and whispering mock warnings into our ear. Most of us don’t equate her with our eight year old daughter. So in conclusion, AAAAAARRRGGGHH!!!
Esther Blodgett
January 9th, 2009 at 10:50 am [Reply]

Am I the only who sees only a huge blank space between “Oh yes! Don’t forget” and “(Thanks to Uncle Lumpy…)” in Josh’s entry? Or is this one of those things where the picture is revealed only to the pure of heart and clean of mind (in which case, no wonder).
Esther Blodgett
January 9th, 2009 at 10:54 am [Reply]

OK, that should have been “Am I the only one…” And I see it now. My browser was loading at Friday speed. Plus, I went to confession and now have a clean moral slate and the ability to see Josh in his boxers. :)
gh
January 9th, 2009 at 10:59 am [Reply]

#29, 30 Esther Blodgett –

The reason you didn’t see it the first time is we’ve been passing it around. Please handle it by the edges.
Tweeks_Coffee
January 9th, 2009 at 11:04 am [Reply]

A3G: Lemon soap? I don’t know, Margo, that sounds pretty…gay. Certainly would explain his diary, though.
Crock: This is the worst drawn Crock strip I’ve seen in awhile and that’s really saying something.
DtM: How did they put the head on?
DT: Must’ve been a helluva a foundation formula. I imagine the major selling point of Dick Tracy Cosmetics ™ would be that blood and guts won’t smear it.
EC: I know this is supposed to be cute and kind of uplifiting, but fuck you, Edge City.
GT: This guy’s the best character since Marty Moon. Way better than that goody-two-shoes Matt The Hatt.
MT: Dammit, Mark, you just put a stop to the hottest scene in the strip’s history! Or did he…? Yes, yes he did. Mark’s lack of sexuality and hormones will overtake the room like a bad case of Ebola.
Shermy Glamrocker
January 9th, 2009 at 11:06 am [Reply]

Finally, a mission for Rex Morgan, M.D., P.I.

Find the bar on a cruise ship. Could it be somewhere near that long, high table-looking thing 20 feet away that has all the stools, bottles of liquor and beer taps?

Nah, best check out the cabin boys’ quarters first.
Calico
January 9th, 2009 at 11:14 am [Reply]

MT – Patty is crying inconsolably because she either let the kids bring home a Fisher Cat, or else she has a out-of-control case of chlamydia. Either way, this is not looking good.

RM – old lady is starting to get the shakes-someone hand her a donut, stat!
Calico
January 9th, 2009 at 11:16 am [Reply]

#32 – At least Eric isn’t using Body Shop blueberry or pomegranate soaps. Now those are truly gay.
O.C.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:19 am [Reply]

Sally Forth: I loooooove that Ted is wearing the Gil Thorp military sweater! Thanks for the inside joke, Ces!
Muffaroo
January 9th, 2009 at 11:33 am [Reply]

A3G – A tiffany box? Oh, my! I find it so touching that that sentimental slob Eric is using a Tiffany box to keep his surreptitiously gathered collection of Margo’s cast-off skins.

DTracy – Yes, Dick. Something’s not right. Your newest nemesis accidentally blew himself up before he could even do anything more menacing than pouring one beaker full of chemicals into another and back, over and over. As the villain gene pool continues to lose its vigor due to your diligent efforts, this is the sort of thing you can expect.

FCircus I – “Stupid dead pet! This is the last time I take you out for a drag!”

FCircus II – “Daddy’s right! There’s not enough room in here to swing a cat!”

JParker – Back home, Sam tells his wife about the great times he had. “And then she offered to take me around the world! But I said that sailing makes me seasick.”

MFmore – Finally, Tinsley’s found something he can draw — big hair and teeth! Seriously, if he drew Nixon, he’d have to label him.

MTrail – “Mark! It’s not what it looks like! I was helping her to, uhm, free a gerbil… you see, she was feeding it, in her robe, and she accidentally… oh, crap, let me sit down and think a minute.”

Mduke – For god’s sake, you abomination! At least start kissing them on the face!

MWorth – We’re now effectively into the middle panel of a three-panel strip that takes six months to read.

MG&Grimm – “It’s a German word that means ‘joy at the misfortune of others.’
“‘Joy at the misfortune of others’? Man, that really is a German word!”
— “Schadenfreude” [Avenue Q]

NSeq –

“Mr. X, may we ask you a question?
It’s amazing, is it not,
That the city pays you slightly less than fifty bucks a week
Yet you’ve purchased a private yacht?”
“I am positive Your Honor must be joking
Any working man can do what I have done.
For a month or two I simply gave up smoking
And I put my extra pennies one by one
Into a little tin box,
A little tin box,
That a little tin key unlocks.
There is nothing unorthodox
About a little tin box…”
–Fiorello! (lyrics by Sheldon M. Harnick)

R=Rose – I’ve heard of [spoiling your kid], but this is ridiculous!

6Chix – I used to live across the street from a grocery store, and any time I went over hungry to find something to eat, I couldn’t find anything I wanted.

S-Man – This will silence the cynics who think Spidey doesn’t give a striped shit.

One-eyed Wolfdog @2 – You’re off to an early lead today, Dog!
Tweeks_Coffee
January 9th, 2009 at 11:33 am [Reply]

#35 – I need to know if he’s using a loofah or not, that could be the deciding factor.
Muffaroo
January 9th, 2009 at 11:34 am [Reply]

Shermy Glamrocker @33 – And by ‘quarters,’ we mean the hind- variety, right?
Comcis Fan
January 9th, 2009 at 11:35 am [Reply]

Edge City has found the answer to the foreclosure crisis: garage-band parties in the living room! It’s all a matter of convincing soft-hearted sheriff deputies not to evict beleaguered homeowners! Mortgage companies play no role here!
Anonymous
January 9th, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

3G: Hint to the coloring gnomes. Tiffany’s boxes are blue, not red.
I think that’s a Target box.
lettuce
January 9th, 2009 at 11:40 am [Reply]

A3G: Margo opens the box… and finds HER OWN FINGER! The time-and-space implications of the situation are largely ignored, however, as Margo devours the mummified flesh.

FW: The hearing aid is what Dingle meant to show — the “Wrath of Khan” brain slug the subsequently crawled out, however, is what the kids most remember.

Mallard Fillmore: Dear Mallard Fillmore, you’re not allowed to make fun of Democratic dynastic families until President Bush 2.0 is out of office. It’s just a week or so. Be patient.

Pluggers: Pluggers take better care of their cars then they do of themselves, which is saying very little.

Spiderman: I’m so looking forward to the battle between Spiderman and Priscilla, Queen of the Desert here. The only thing more cool than Electro’s Mummers Day Parade headdress, is his Lightning-styled suspenders.

Phantom: You know, I thought selling the body of a disgusting sea monster would make me millions too, but now, I’m just deeper in debt for all the tequila and brine shrimp I have to keep buying for the scaled, blue Jimmy Buffet I have shackled in my basement.
Spunky N. Tadpole
January 9th, 2009 at 11:43 am [Reply]

A3G: “Lemon soap”? The thing I mainly associate lemon scent with is dish soap (or dishwasher detergent) – why has Eric been washing his clothes with that? What has he been trying to wash out? Ewww.

H&L: So shoveling the walk makes a noticeable dent in a $127 debt? Has Chip signed up with the UAW?

SForth: Good thing they have Hilary around: someone’s got to act maturely in this family – and, as (sadly/predictably) usual, it’s the kid….

MC: Gee, great relationship Rex and Violet have going there. Uncharacteristically realistic: love it!

RMMD: Right, Rex really has to help these two “find” the bar? It’s probably the first thing they scoped out after boarding; and they’ve most lkely left a pheromone (or vodka) trail to it from all over the ship.

JP: Yes, we all know what sort of scenario Det. Cleavage has in mind: probably something along the lines of her shooting Abby, and then dragging Sam off to a motel for intense, frequent and frantic fornication while she’s recovering in the hospital. Poor Heidi: she obviously hasn’t figured out yet that the initials “S.D.” on his luggage stand for “Sexless Dullard”.
lettuce
January 9th, 2009 at 11:50 am [Reply]

Crock: Hi, my name is Eric. (Sniff) And I have a confession to make. I laughed at Crock today. I LAUGHED at Crock today. And no matter how hard I scrub, the shame won’t wipe off! (sobbing.) The shame won’t scrub off!

Crankshaft: What a surprise reveal! I would have preferred a dessicated mouse to a Crankshaft-Learns-To-Love-A-Pet plot.

Zombie Foob: All these years, we only noticed at the end that Ellie Patterson is Canada’s Mary Worth.

Wizard of Id: No, that’s not the “condiments” pun I’d have gone for.
gh
January 9th, 2009 at 11:58 am [Reply]

I just voted for Ces — he’s now in third place by TWO votes. So, technically, I didn’t put him over the top, but I’ll claim to have solidified his lead.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
January 9th, 2009 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

MT: Oh, I see it now. Elrod updated Cherry’s hair from 1962 to 1991. It’s hard to tell when the rest of the comic is still 1946.
Hank
January 9th, 2009 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

RE: Dick Tracy. After today’s final panel does anyone still believe Locher isn’t writing this strip as an intentional comedy now?
McManx
January 9th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

M Trail — “Mark!…. I was, just uh, talking to Patty about… her beaver!! Yes! That’s it, her beaver!”
Schere
January 9th, 2009 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

“Cheerful fascism” is probably the name of the perfume in the DT cosmetics line…..
Calico
January 9th, 2009 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

#43 – Re: Chip – the answer is yes, and don’t you try to get him to ever work one second past 3 PM.

MT – “Desert Hearts”, East Coast style.
Just sit back and enjoy it, Mark.
Malethoth K
January 9th, 2009 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

Guys… I kind of laughed at Mallard Fillmore today. Like, a chuckle. I’m so sorry.
Evan
January 9th, 2009 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Can anyone explain the sentence “It’s so early, maybe I can sneak in without waking anyone”?

“This doorway’s so short, maybe I can walk through it without stooping!”

“These bears are so hungry, maybe I can rub my naked body with salami in peace!”
Paul1963
January 9th, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy for Men–for the man who wants to smell like gunpowder and freshly-spilled blood, with just a hint of hot lead. Available at CVS!

MTSo, did Cherry rush off and change from her pink robe to the blue one when her pink-clad guest showed up, or is it some sort of Mood Robe that changed from Pink for “I Changed My Hairdo Slightly–Will Hubby Notice?” to Blue for “Concern for Someone Who’s Worried?”
Squid Vicious
January 9th, 2009 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

True Fable at 1: Tess’s geometric lobes match her planar mono-tooth. If I weren’t a real person, I’d totally date her. She’s the most perfect creature ever to escape from 2-dimensional Euclidean space.
Red Greenback
January 9th, 2009 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

So will Dick Tracy deodorant be called B O Hardly? *crickets*
True Fable
January 9th, 2009 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

# 54 Squid Vicious – Gotta love a woman who sports baleen.
sugarpie
January 9th, 2009 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

SFth- With all of Hillary’s talk of Donuts and Bagels, I thought she was getting ready to have ‘The Talk’ with mom and dad. You know, about being president of the Chastity Bono fan club.

Looking again I realized its going to be a different sort of talk since Hillary is actually pregnant. Sheesh, kids today.

RM, Doctor of Love- Rex couldn’t find the bar if it was strapped to his ass. But no doubt ~~Querelle~~ Guido is nearby, moodily lolling about, ready to help him find and unravel the mysteries of life.
Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
January 9th, 2009 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

Doonesbury — The idea of Julia Child suing Jeremy Cavendish is quite amusing to me, for some reason.
Comcis Fan
January 9th, 2009 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

Sally Forth: What, precisely, is Hillary trying to tell Sally and Ted about bagels and donuts?
Spunky N. Tadpole
January 9th, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

# 55 – Red G.:

Wasn’t “B.O. Plenty” a recurring character* in the old (way old, pre-Dick Locher-fascist-gothic) Dick Tracy strips? Maybe he can be recast to lend his endorsement to Tess’ new cologne?

*who I recall was this scruffy, chinless hillbilly-got-rich character; sort of like Jed Clampett meets Snuffy Smith, as drawn by Brooke McEldowney.
bats :[
January 9th, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

A3G: the box color is correct (as is the ribbon); Margot just hasn’t realized that it’s from Tiphanee’s, Kathmandu’s finest boutique and jewelry store.
Unfortunately, bubble wrap and styrofoam packing peanuts being in horribly short supply in Kathmandu, Margot will be somewhat surprised, if not made violently sick, by the fact that her gift has been cushioned lovingly in a bountiful load of yak droppings.
Muffaroo
January 9th, 2009 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

True Fable @56 – That’s not crickets, that’s me. I have a kind of crickety laugh, I’m afraid.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 9th, 2009 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

Arlo & Janis: If I didn’t know better, I’d think these two had been up to something.
T. Chicana
January 9th, 2009 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

MW: I know Mary’s storylines go on for a long time. That’s part of what makes them fun to make fun of. But doesn’t this seem excessive?! I think it’s been about two weeks of:
Lynn: I’m upset about my dead friend.
Douche Dad (DD): You’re a champion!
Lynn: But I’m upset and I’m not about to get over it.
*alarmingly weird facial expressions on both parties*
DD: National Championships…blah blergh bvlvlvllblblra….

I CAN’T TAKE THIS MUCH LONGER, FOLKS!
Professor Fate
January 9th, 2009 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

FW : I’m torn between wanting someone in the band to say “hey could you speak up? We can’t hear you in the back.” or ” Hey don’t you know those things can cause cancer?”
Batman Beatles
January 9th, 2009 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

MW – Frank: The Mama Rose of figure skating.
Honeypot
January 9th, 2009 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

(Scene: Mark arrives home unexpectedly.)

Cherry: Mark!
Patty: Andy!
dimestore lipstick
January 9th, 2009 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

Overseas color monkeys aren’t allowed to use Pantone color #1837, as Tiffany Blue is trademarked and not available for general use.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiffany_Blue

That doesn’t, however, explain why they found burgundy to be an acceptable second choice.
PeteMoss
January 9th, 2009 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

Excellent post today, Josh! Bravo! You’re earning that Blogger award the hard way: Actually being funny! Honestly, I don’t think it’s the beefcake stuff that’s put you in a the no. 1 spot. It’s the funny.
Dingo
January 9th, 2009 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

Someone should tell the Bloggess what an intrepid band of curmudgeons can do to an Illinois state government vote on favorite places in Northern Illinois. Starved Rock State Park was flummoxed like a country quasi-lesbian in a bathrobe when the results were announced.
Kyle
January 9th, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

I do think that Mark Trail Penthouse letter was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen here. It’s been a few hours, and I’m still laughing.
kingklash
January 9th, 2009 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

Sam Driver! Not while he’s talkin’ about his wife he won’t.
Although, I’m digging his Horatio Caine moment.
gh
January 9th, 2009 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

#70 Dingo –

Yeah, I wandered over yesterday to pay her a compliment and I was going to mention that, but it seemed tacky. Didn’t we also get The Divine O’F’s pick for AAU Women’s Softball Player of the Year in, plus possibly the winning AZ commemorative quarter design, SlyFox restored to a Connecticut funnies page, and of course, Warren as Best Pick (and Anthony as Worst) for Lizardbreath to marry? We don’t cheat, we are simply legion.
Dingo
January 9th, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

Batman Beatles #66 just made me swoon like a shopgirl catching a glimpse of construction worker cock as he pisses in the alley! Frank as Mama Rose. Brilliant!

Frank: Finished? We’re just beginning and there’s no one to stop it this time!
I had a dream, a dream about you, Lynn.
It’s gonna come true, Lynn.
They think that we’re through, but Lynn,

You’ll be swell! When you skate!
Gonna make that meddler constipate!
Starting here, starting now,
Honey, skating will make us the Borgias!

On the deck! In the boat.
Grab that curly-haired tyke by the throat.
Here’s your drink. You old cow.
Senor Guido Tomas? Be my Moses! *

Practice spinning. If you’re Lynn or you’re Rex!
Guido’s grinning! “My, Rex, how your ass can flex!”
Perk her up! No more fright!
So your boyfriend is dead? Take delight!
Look at Mar’. Contemplate.
She can an-ti-ci-pate.
An empty bed is one you need not rue!
Lynn dear, skating will make us the Borgias with riches for you!

You can do it, show your triple salchow.
Rex would do it! Guido’s cock purple and how!
Here we go! It’s the end!
Time for Frank and Lynn to make amends!
Mar’ can tell, wait and see.
This will end peacefully.
When Lynn turns scarlet Frank’s poor balls of blue!
Honey, everything’s coming up roses and daffodils!
Everything’s coming up sunshine and Santa Claus!
Everything’s gonna be bright lights and lollipops!
Everything’s coming up roses for me and for you!

* – Parting Rex’s furtive loins like a hirsute Red Sea.
PeteMoss
January 9th, 2009 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

I was going to go out for lunch today, but according to the paper, the Dick Tracy Aura has spread throughout the nation and I’m scared shitless. I think I’ll just hide under the sink until it passes.
Batman Beatles
January 9th, 2009 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

Excellent, Dingo!
darwiniac
January 9th, 2009 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

Spider-Man: I’m trying to decide whether this villain is more likely to be seen in the French Quarter during Mardi Gras, or in the Castro during SF Pride.

Edge City: The cop is just screwing with them so he can listen to them play instead of going and dealing with the thousand calls coming over the radio. He doesn’t plan to be around when they realize the police have pretty much nothing to do with the whole foreclosure process.

Funky Cancerbean: Ironically, excessive use of earplugs can lead to ear infection which can lead to hearing loss, IIRC. At least, in the Funkyverse, how could it not?

S4th: I recognize all too well Hillary’s attempts to steer breakfast away from the inevitable screaming, plate-smashing, divorce-threatening fight. It won’t work, Hil. Just go to your room, wait it out, and come back to sweep up the broken china.
Esther Blodgett
January 9th, 2009 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

#74 Dingo:

Parting Rex’s furtive loins like a hirsute Red Sea.

That’s certainly an…evocative image. My, yes.
gh
January 9th, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

I knew the Red Sea wasn’t actually red, but I didn’t realize it was brunette. Thanks, Dingo!
Honeypot
January 9th, 2009 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

Sforth: You know, I’m totally on Ted’s side in this.
Amateur
January 9th, 2009 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

#20 — Yeah, I was thinking Mark and Andy could use some “sneaking in” lessons. All that was missing was a “Ta-DAAAA!”
Mibbitmaker
January 9th, 2009 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

DT: Tess’s earrings: If you look really, really closely, you’ll see that they’re designed like little, tiny Dick Tracy heads.
trey le parc
January 9th, 2009 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke: Hey, Brad Anderson, Lynn Johnston had the balls to kill off a family pet. Man up, Nancy.
BigTed
January 9th, 2009 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

At least the Dick Tracy cologne is sure to get an endorsement from Ralph Wiggum. “Smells like burning!”
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 9th, 2009 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

#83 trey le parc,

Coming this Spring! The fun-tastic followup to Marmaduke (RIP)! Join us for At Home with the Hitlers! You’ll be glad you did!
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 9th, 2009 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

Forgot to close the itlaics on that last one, but you get the idea.
Marion Delgado
January 9th, 2009 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

Apt 3-G:

That Tiffany box Eric left is SO a BOMB!

FAREWELL, MY LOVELY.
Comcis Fan
January 9th, 2009 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

#80. Why can’t I be on Ted’s side here, when, as he tells himself, he hasn’t done anything? The very fact that he became nervous and flustered by Aria’s presence at the party, especially when Sally was in the same room, tells us he has a crush on Aria, or that he knows Aria is interested in him and he has done nothing to dissuade her.

In fact, he confided in his attractive, opposite-sex coworker pal about his family problems, which come down to his feeling his wife disrespects him.

Sally obviously picks up on this mutual attraction or confidante vibe. Rather than assuring Sally convincingly that nothing is amiss, or opening up a mature discussion, he’s digging in his heels and positioning Sally as the jealous wife. She’s jealous, with good reason. I don’t think many wives would be pleased to learn their husband had been having regular lunch dates with an attractive, single female colleague in whom he confides his marital disgruntledness and with whom he also shares common interests.
Jordan
January 9th, 2009 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

I notice Paul isn’t credited alongside Brad for Marmaduke anymore. Trouble in paradise?

Oh, wait. These people have to produce Marmaduke just to eke out an existence well past retirement age. Trouble in purgatory?
mollificent
January 9th, 2009 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

LOVE the post title! I LOL’d.

JP: Jaysus, Mary and Joseph, this woman does NOT GIVE UP! (Hmmm…I have a friend I’d like to set her up with.)

Arlo & Janis: Yup, we have confirmed morning nookie.

MT:
Cherry: “Mark!”
Mark: “Cherry!”
Patti: “Mark!”
Mark: “Patti!”
Dr. Frank N. Furter: “Rocky!”
Audience: “Bullwinkle!”
bats :[
January 9th, 2009 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

78. Esther Blodgett: ditto on Dingo’s comment.

I think I’m going to hide under the sink as well…
Joe Blevins
January 9th, 2009 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

MT: Panel 2 makes it look like Mark was getting a Maori facial tattoo but got impatient and left halfway through. And in Panel 3, we can see that Mark does not just enter a room. He takes it by storm, arms spread wide, preceeded by his snarling hellbeast/familiar!
Marthas Rolling Pin
January 9th, 2009 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

#88 Comics Fan, I agree. Ted is engaged in emotional adultery, and his discomfort is deserved. Hope that CES will dig into this rather than just milking it for smirks.
Kevin Moore
January 9th, 2009 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

Recent plot for Spider-Man comic book starring Barack Obama: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/08/obama-spiderman-to-team-u_n_156329.html

WTF?
ScienceGiant
January 9th, 2009 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

MTMT: unlawful, eh? So, who’s Mark gonna punch?

(I hope its Cherry!)
Annon
January 9th, 2009 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

FC And strippers aren’t too crazy about kids stealin’ their tops.
Bootsy
January 9th, 2009 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

If I saw someone from work at a non-work party, I might be a little flustered too. Mostly because I don’t mix work and non-work friends, and I don’t want work people seeing me drinking and ~~smoking “dope”~~ carousing.

Sally was quite obviously frosty toward Aria upon introduction (which was pretty dickish of her), and Ted admitted that was so when questioned by Aria. That seems to be the extent of his party conversation with Aria. So I think the phrase “emotional adultery” is pretty strong in this instance.

Of course, it’s only a comic strip so don’t anybody take me seriously on this!
UncleJeff
January 9th, 2009 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

Love Is…..”forgetting” which part of the beach is “clothing optional.”
Annon
January 9th, 2009 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

SS & BG What’s with all the penises today?
UncleJeff
January 9th, 2009 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

#96 Annon — Gee, Annon. How do you know that’s true? :)
Marion Delgado
January 9th, 2009 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

oh, i did, hard to keep track.

I think TMBG should rework the spiderman theme, it’s practically triangle man anyway:

Spider Man
Spider Man
Does all the things
A Spider Can
Sits Motionless
Waiting for Food
Watching things
Spider man

Is he thick
Or is he a dick?
When he goes to work does his boss get sick?
What happens when he gets hit with a brick?
Useless drone
Spider-Man

Laundry Lint Man
Laundry Lint Man
Laundry Lint Man hates Spider Man
They have a fight, Spider wins
Luandry Man

Unspecified
Mutation Man
His costume is orange
olive and tan
What are his powers?
It’s not important
Dangeroust man

Househusband man
Househusband man
His wife has a girl
Who comes in and dusts him
Who came up with Newspaper spiderman?
Degraded boy,
Parker man
Comrade Denny
January 9th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

After the success of his cosmetics line, Dick Tracy will expand into dairy products with his famous Dick Cheese and Dick Cream. He’ll also start a line of animal care products with a salt-lick called Dick-lick.

Man, these jokes are writing themselves, and that’s probably the problem.
Idols of Mud
January 9th, 2009 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

“Andy is a St. Bernard!” made me laugh out loud. Well done, Josh.

I have nothing else. Move along.
Stroker Ace
January 9th, 2009 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

Marmaduke is the Gene Simmons of hounds.
Violet
January 9th, 2009 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

Hey, Pluggers, I don’t see what’s so funny about a guy dropping dead on the cold cement of stress-induced heart attack and asphyxiation. Well, okay, I guess it is kinda funny when you put it that way.
Marion Delgado
January 9th, 2009 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

Violet, the really amusing part is that Rhinoman’s body has nearly a ton of dead weight to haul away.
Talking Squirrel
January 9th, 2009 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

SF: I think the reason Hil is talking about whether “bagels and doughnuts would get along” is to distract Ted and Sally from their own issues.

And I’m certain that she’s succeeding and they’re both thinking the same thing, “It’s only breakfast and she’s already stoned?”

Wake and bake, Hil! You go, grrrl.
Esther Blodgett
January 9th, 2009 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

#101 Marion Delgado: Oh, I’ll have that in my head all weekend. Good work!
bats :[
January 9th, 2009 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

106. Marion Delgado: at least it’ll give the guys with the chain-saws something else to concentrate on when they get tired of cutting up down trees and branches.
I smell bar-be-que….
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 9th, 2009 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail actually sort of has my attention for the moment. I wouldn’t call it a Saturday matinee cliffhanger, exactly, but I’m certainly curious to find out just what that lady’s become so attached to.

It would be awesome if it was, say, a big fox squirrel, and it was destroying her house, but she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of it (”He’s so adorable when he’s sleeping! And I know he loves me, and it’s really my fault, I never should have bought that bag of filberts in the first place”), and the next six months were an insane hybrid of that recent Between Friends domestic violence melodrama and, well, Mark Trail, with Mark mostly standing around leaking machine oil from his left temple but ultimately – yes! – punching a squirrel and delivering a line like “You stole a friend of my wife’s nuts!”

So setting myself up for disappointment here.
commodorejohn
January 9th, 2009 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

mollificent (yesterthread) – Well, color me impressed; those strips were actually amusing. What happened, Brooke? (P.S. congrats on the dulcimer!)

Agnes – pulls another fantastically dirty joke without anybody in the angry-letter-writing demographic even noticing.

A3G – Oh, this is going to be good. Check for white powder before you open it, Margo.

AS – Dear Scott Hillburn: PERSPECTIVE DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.

BlC – Well, aside from the description of Pink Floyd as “heavy metal,” I am filled with glee.

BrS – “If you think Brenda should confront Trad, turn to page 33. If you think Brenda should follow Aurora…”

Crankshaft – It’s always the same; the people who are first to work into a frenzy of bloodlust are last in line when it comes to dealing with the results. Wimp.

DT – I’m sorry, anything I say could only detract from the hilarity.

FC – Another day, another mention of my guest stint over at The Family Circus Of Values.

FW – In the future, hearing aids will be bulkier than they are now.

GT – Hey, Whigham…”lifts the home team” isn’t meant to be taken literally. I don’t think.

HOTC – Hey! Another person under fifty who uses the word “criminy!”

JP – Sam, your wife is the Grand Canyon.

Love Is… – letting the sun dry off the fluids.

Monty – Monty is not usually at the top of my “favorite comics” list, but this week has been hilarious.

Pibgorn – Uh. Yeah. Brooke, do you even realize how creepy you are?

Popeye – Tomorrow’s strip: the Quark sprays Popeye again, and we loop back to December 27th.
mollificent
January 9th, 2009 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

cj: thanks! I’m loving the dulcimer…it’s so fun to play. Regarding Brooke…even Pibgorn was sort of sweet and charming (though undeniably twisted the moment Dru showed up) from the beginning. The whole endless-arc-of-sadomasochism thing sort of came along later, I believe. Bleah.
Poteet
January 9th, 2009 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

9CL — I know I’m supposed to be charmed, amused, and turned on by this academic dalliance. Instead, I find myself wondering how much these people are being paid and how much of it is coming from taxpayers.

This means that (1) I’ve become a grouchy-bordering-on-nasty old fart, or (2) I’ve reached such a high level of disgust with Brooke and his creations that it will take a miracle for me to ever like anything he does, ever again. I prefer to believe (2).
mollificent
January 9th, 2009 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

P.S. I have absolutely no idea why I seem to be so invested in convincing everyone that Brooke used to be a decent cartoonist. It’s not like I’m going to be rewarded with anything but more disappointment. :P Damn you, Brooke…I used to be an optimist!

Sigh.

(plays “Poor Wayfaring Stranger” on the dulcimer, mournfully)
Joe Blevins
January 9th, 2009 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

“It’s so early, maybe I can sneak in without waking anyone! Or maybe I’ll just stand outside here talking about it to no one.” Oh, Mark, do you ever think anything you don’t say aloud. Why does this strip even bother with narration boxes, when its title character routinely narrates the mundane details of his own life anyway?

I worry for Rusty, though, not least because he disappears for months at a time without either of his adopted parents seeming the least bit concerned about his whereabouts or well-being. I also fear that someday soon, Rusty will discover the joys of autoeroticism, and Mark will terrifyingly burst in on him at an inopportune moment — preceded as always by a barking, slobbering Andy. Poor Rusty won’t even be able to confide this shameful incident to a qualified professional, since the closest thing to a psychologist in Lost Forest is an alcoholic woodsman nicknamed “Cappy” who’s read all of Euell Gibbons’ books and quotes from them frequently and without prompting.
Mibbitmaker
January 9th, 2009 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

9CL: I was going to wait until the reruns were over, but — the trustees are badly done Thorax clones?? AAAAAAAUGHHH!!!

A3G: “…if he really cared about me, that’d be a Margo box with my name on it! Jerk!”

Cleats: The kids are forming a G. Gordon Liddy Club.

DtM: If they really wanted to use an appropriate medium to capture Mr. Wilson, they should’ve tried ice.
Poteet
January 9th, 2009 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

# 114 mollificent — Just to clarify, the fact that I’m very grouchy right now doesn’t mean I don’t believe you, or that miracles can’t happen. I think I need to wait until the cello contest is well and truly over before I’ll be ready for a Brooke miracle, however.

Meanwhile, I hope you will continue enjoying the former Brooke that you enjoy. I myself enjoy the infamous song “MacArthur Park,” so I know how it feels to be lonely in one’s tastes:-).
Ukulele Ike
January 9th, 2009 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

A3G: Aaaaand Margo opens the red Tiffany’s hatbox to find….A HUMAN HEAD!

Hey, how come Night Must Fall still isn’t available on DVD?
Poteet
January 9th, 2009 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

# 115 Joe — Ah, memories. I tried some of Euell Gibbons’ recipes when I worked at a summer camp. I didn’t end up as an alcoholic, but alcohol would definitely have improved some of what I made:-).
Mibbitmaker
January 9th, 2009 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

HotC: “…I’m not that guy. And we’re not that couple.”
– Jim Halpert (The Office)

JP: “I know that’s not what you meant. That’s exactly why I said it”, Sam said with a wink like a smirk.

MF: I’ll give ‘im that one. Pretty good for once. It’s Stantis’s turn to be the right-wing jerk today.

MW: …yadda yadda yadda yadda…

Mutts: Ah, the Unnecessary Divided Speech Balloon Trope. They did it in Dick Tracy, too, but they need to to facilitate those excessively-used close-ups.

MC: They deserve each other.

OBH: Ruthie just had some margerine. Dut-da-da-DAAAAAA!
(see, strip, I can do somewhat-related non sequiturs, too)

Popeye: Cue Nelson Muntz…

6C: Never shop when you’re psychotic.

SFx: Are either of them named Boris?

S-M: A dollar sign in Spidey’s web! Freudian slip from Marvel, no doubt.
Poteet
January 9th, 2009 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

#110 One-eyed Wolfdog — Hey what an interesting idea. Any other guesses at to what animal has Patty in such a lather? I know pubic lice are too much to hope for. *sigh*

I really hope it’s not a fawn or a bear cub. I could stand it being some kind of songbird. I would be amazed and happy if it were a snake.
Poteet
January 9th, 2009 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

#121 — Argh, I could have sworn I put a comma after that “Hey.” Must. Remember. To. Preview.
sugarpie
January 9th, 2009 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

I gotta agree with #97 Bootsy on this Sally and Ted dust up/death match. I hope that Comcis (sic) Fan and Martha’s Rolling Pin are are just feeling a little cranky ’cause their Survivors Of Multiple Divorce group-therapy session ran long and they got a tad hypoglycemic.

So. Ted gets bullied all the time at home by Sally, that spooky blonde kid that lives with them, and by the guys at work. Sally tells him to try and make some work friends, he does, then she gets all pissy. Sigmund was right: “What do women want?”

I don’t think Ted would cheat on Sally or leave her. However, I’m pretty sure that with Alice’s encouragment Sally will not only leave Ted but get a better divorce lawyer and Ted will end up with nothing. I’m mean, I’m not bitter or anything, but I’m just saying…

ALSO today I hit the “go to” button for Dingo’s Mary Worth- Dancing Queen video on YouTube. DO THIS NOW!!!! Blood shot out of my eyes (in a good way).

Josh- I had a college room mate who sent letters to Penthouse all the time. He kept thinking they were going to print one. They never did.
Mooncattie
January 9th, 2009 at 10:44 pm [Reply]

#114 mollificent – Don’t let a mere year or two of irritating 9CL storylines wear down that optimism! All together now: The wind is in from Africa / Last night I couldn’t sleep
…Mean Old Mooncattie
Mibbitmaker
January 9th, 2009 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

#119 (Poteet): I’m nostalgic for Euell Gibbons jokes.

They were as much a part of pop culture ‘73-5 as “The Exorcist”, “Kung Fu”, streaking, pet rocks, mood rings, and Watergate.

They were done nicely in Mad and Crazy magazines, MatchGame’73/4/5, and the Carol Burnett Show (my favorite being Tim Conway’s version in a 1974 commercial-characters-come-to-life sketch, non-chalantly adding to the Grape Nuts spiel, “…I’m going to eat a chair…” This was on the same eppy as the “As The Stomach Turns” with the Exorcist parody — and a great Watergate tapes joke to boot. Even when it was new, it was one of my all-time favorite Carol B. Shows).
Muffaroo
January 9th, 2009 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

Joe Blevins @115 – Maybe the time is coming when Mark Trail will square off against the caption boxes and show them who’s boss. Then he’ll be master of his own story. … Euell Gibbons? A name I have not heard in many parsecs. (breathe, breathe) You know what he died of, right? Natural causes! (Thanks to my sister for that line, and to you for giving me a chance to use it without bringing up Euell Gibbons myself. Many parts are edible!) (Oh, hi, Mibbitmaker! I was just munching a bowl of Grape-Nuts. Their crunchy, nutty flavor reminds me of wild squirrel droppings.)

Poteet @117 – I like “MacArthur Park” too. It covers a lot of bases. I even have the CD with Jimmy Webb singing it himself. I did, of course, snicker at the job SCTV did on it. I’m only human.

Unrelated News – One of my sisters reports having turned up three big envelopes full of my mom’s old paper dolls from the 30s and 40s, mostly from Sunday newspapers. Some of the dresses are originals — I’m guessing she and her friends sometimes sat around the kitchen table doing paper dolls in much the same way I would one day sit around drawing my own comic books. She sent scans. Wonderful stuff.

Tired now. Turning in early tonight.
Jamus The Bartender
January 9th, 2009 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

Sally Forth: Ted, i’ve gotta tell you, credit where credit is due for your poker face. You’re standing your ground, and I admire you for that. However, poker, like real life, has some basic fundamentals. Sally’s got a full house to your two lovely ladies, and one of the ladies has you by the short and curlies, just waiting for you to call your bluff. And, always remember….odds favor the house.
Family Circus: No. NO. NO!!! A thousand times NO. You NEVER put a leash on a cat. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER. Cats hate leashes. Unless they want you to be handcuffed to the bed over a three day weekend, tending to your every need.
Comcis Fan
January 10th, 2009 at 12:22 am [Reply]

#123 Sorry sugarpie, there were plenty of donuts and bagels at the meeting, we weren’t hypogylcemic and we weren’t at the meeting. I’ve been Comcis Fan for a while now. A typo, cookies and stubbornness will do that.

Now about Ted. He may or may not be having an emotional affair with Aria. He’s at least been headed down that road, and anyone in a somewhat conventional marriage (i.e. not swingers or “open marriage” people) knows when he or she is approaching a line that shouldn’t be crossed.

Perhaps Ted’s too much of a dumbass to have realized he was too close to the line until his alternate universes collided at the Schwallers’ New Year’s Party and his spidey-ill-advised-behavior-by-a-husband-sense kicked in.
mollificent
January 10th, 2009 at 12:29 am [Reply]

#123 sugarpie: Oh, I’ve watched Dingo’s excellent vid several times. :D Also, have you seen jonnyace’s terrific The Wind Cries Mary Worth video?

#124 Mooncattie: Eh, I’ll recover…AND shut up about it, to boot. (I heard that collective sigh of relief!) ;)
Malethoth K
January 10th, 2009 at 1:07 am [Reply]

#114 mollificent – Wow, the faces in 9CL used to look even worse than they do now? Fuck.

But snarking aside, that was actually kind of clever, and definitely not as repulsive as this “obnoxious, bile-filled girl is constantly boning obnoxious, ugly band geek” storyline.
Vince M
January 10th, 2009 at 1:11 am [Reply]

126: According to the National Lampoon back then, Euell Gibbons died from eating the wrong kind of mushrooms he picked.

And, I liked Father Guido Sarducci’s touching cover of ‘Il Parco MacArthur’.
Dingo
January 10th, 2009 at 1:14 am [Reply]

Holy frijole! Is that Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener in Saturday’s Rex Morgan?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
January 10th, 2009 at 1:17 am [Reply]

If I were going to make a Dick Tracy-themed cosmetics line, I think I’d name it SQLUD.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
January 10th, 2009 at 1:19 am [Reply]

I mean, I’d call it SQLUD.
Dingo
January 10th, 2009 at 1:24 am [Reply]

So, I really considered writing out the Bulwer-Lytton version of the Patty-Cherry turnover early morning love fest but couldn’t. I couldn’t because I knew that it had to end with Mark Trail’s fist o’ justice somehow being involved and I couldn’t do that to y’all. You have to save moments like that for Rex Morgan.
sugarpie
January 10th, 2009 at 1:26 am [Reply]

#128 Comcis Fan. Well, I meant to be funny more than offensive. Sorry, I dont know all the players here yet.

Ted just seems so isolated and clueless about how he got to this point. And as I said earlier, I dont think he would cheat on Sally. The very thought, I should think, horrifies him. Sally isn’t just his wife-she’s his best friend and he wouldn’t fuck over his best friend. I do think its dawning on him that he needs, what? Some attention? Someone who gets his geekiness? Someone to flaunt in front of his dismissive co-woprkers? And he’s clearly not getting whatever it is at home.

Sally seems to live most of her real life at the office. Ted is much more of a homebody and (again, in my view) wants more of something, he doesn’t even know what, at home. Aria is nothing but a straw man, waiting to be batted down by Sally. But will she?

What does Sally want? To be right? Thats what most of us want. Does she want that at the expense of her marriage? Maybe. I hope she will stop and think, well away from her mom, sister, and coworkers.

Pride is a double edged sword in that it keeps us from doing stupid and unattractive things, but it also keeps us from surrendering to those from whom we seek respect, compassion, and love.

Ted is weak of course. Most men are. Ces delights in Ted’s foolishness, nerdiness, and social ineptness, and rubs Sally’s nose in them. Sally knows theses traits are intrinsic to her husband, and yet she seems to be genuinely fond of him. How to get around this impass?

Alice must die.
bats :[
January 10th, 2009 at 1:29 am [Reply]

Saturday’s RMMD: “Oh, and by the way, my name’s Isaac. Funny, huh?”
papa zita
January 10th, 2009 at 1:52 am [Reply]

Rex Morgan, Ex-Bartender: …with guest stars Sidney Poitier and Richard Karn!
commodorejohn
January 10th, 2009 at 1:54 am [Reply]

#117 Poteet – Not quite alone…I actually own A Tramp Shining just for that one song.
True Fable
January 10th, 2009 at 1:57 am [Reply]

Cathy (Must Die!) I agree, Cathy. Irving needs a way to return you to your parents so you won’t come back.

#134 Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist – Those were the days, when sound effects really MEANT something!

Qwink. Qwink, I say!
True Fable
January 10th, 2009 at 2:03 am [Reply]

# 117 Poteet, my queen! – I once sang MacArthur Park for my children when they were little tads, and they were horrified that the old man was losing his mind. “Are you all right?” they kept asking me. “What’s this ‘cakes in the rain’ stuff, and ‘love’s hot fevered iron’ and that ’striped pair of pants’ jazz all about? Are you ON SOMETHING?!”

I said no, those are the actual lyrics to this song!

My son Galevav nodded understandingly and solemnly reminded his siblings, “They did a lot of drugs back in the old days.”

I could not argue.
Angry Kem
January 10th, 2009 at 2:05 am [Reply]

I. Am. Tired. Here are some Japes.

#136 sugarpie: I disagree about Ted being weak. “Introverted” and “weak” are not synonymous, though a lot of extroverts seem to think they are. I guess I see Ted as more of a free spirit than a fool. There aren’t enough geeks in the world, damn it. More geeks! More geeks with ladylike hands!
sugarpie
January 10th, 2009 at 2:07 am [Reply]

#142 Yeah, I’m probably wrong. Sorry.
Lou Shumaker
January 10th, 2009 at 2:12 am [Reply]

mollificent: Thanks for sharing. I actually laughed at Thorax, which I thought I would never do. It helps that he didn’t say a word.
AtomicDog
January 10th, 2009 at 2:15 am [Reply]

Curtis – Who the hell just jams a knife in the top of a cake after they’ve just cut a slice out of it?
sugarpie
January 10th, 2009 at 2:19 am [Reply]

#142 When you get a chance, come visit my world, there are more geeks than you can shake a laser pointer at. And scads of ladylike hands.
Farley's Revenge
January 10th, 2009 at 2:22 am [Reply]

A&J: All that’s needed now is a bit of bow-chicka-bow music. These two are certainly taking advantage of the kid being off to college, aren’t they?

#2 OEWolfdog: Gotta be a contender for CoTW.

That Mark Trail strip just makes the jokes too easy. Could the JackElrodball being doing that on purpose?
True Fable
January 10th, 2009 at 2:25 am [Reply]

S4th The guy walking in panel two just knocks me out! Who cares what’s happening in the story; let’s watch this guy cruise the hallways some more!
MW He’s going to punch her any minute now, and that’s when Mary will step in. And not a second sooner.
MT While it is heartwarming to see Mark and Chery hug and not look terribly awkward about it, I can already hear the cacaphony of jeers over just how Mark plans to awaken Doc and Rusty in the wee hours of the morning. In separate beds, I trust.
JP Now there is a man who draws a plaid shirt right!
DtN-M Hmm. Maybe not menacing, but he’s definitely going to get his ass beaten when he gets home.
BS IT’S JUST NOT FUNNY. I have sincerely tried but I honest to God can’t find the funny anywhere in this comic panel. It’s come close a couple of times this year but today just ain’t one of those days.
Poteet
January 10th, 2009 at 2:25 am [Reply]

# 125 mibbitmaker — Yes, I remember now!

For me, the biggest joke was trying to collect enough cattail pollen to use as flour, as Euell recommended. I didn’t have a canoe available, so I wore boots and squelched around in mud that smelled like all the farts in the world, and the cattails were not in a pollen-shedding mood. That wasn’t my only Euell misadventure by a long shot, but it was the most odiferous.
bats :[
January 10th, 2009 at 2:26 am [Reply]

Dang, I got the song, I got the crew, I got the storyboards in my head, and I can’t put it all together (I sure as heck can’t sing like Jack Jones)!
(Do you collaborate, Dingo?)

Sex, with no strings attached,
Climb aboard.
Don’t remain unmatched.
Sex, bang the old headboard.
Morals go,
Will you remain unscratched?

The Loathe Boat
Is heading flat-out for bankruptcy
The Loathe Boat, filled with drunks and debauchery.
Set your eye on a steward,
Your mind on a noon-time fling.

Sex won’t hurt anymore
Get some KY from the medical store

It’s Seeeeeeeeeex!
Hello sailor – It’s Seeeeex!
Poteet
January 10th, 2009 at 2:28 am [Reply]

# 126 Muffaroo, # 131 Vince, # 139 commodorejohn, # 141 Sir Fable MTK — BWAHAHA! And thank you all. I’ll never have that recipe again.
AtomicDog
January 10th, 2009 at 2:29 am [Reply]

Luann – Just forget it, Miss Phelps. If he didn’t get the hint that you’re into kink from your Elvira outfit, he’s a lost cause.
Poteet
January 10th, 2009 at 2:33 am [Reply]

# 150 bats — Oh lordy, you’ve brought it all back. The hair, the perky smiles, the hair, the Guest Stars, the utterly predictable three-plots-per-hour, and above all, the hair. What an earworm you’ve made!
Farley's Revenge
January 10th, 2009 at 2:33 am [Reply]

To jump into the S4th fray:

When the spouse began a new job, he worked with a single woman. They went to lunch together and, from what I could gather, confided in each other about all sorts of non-work related topics.

I’ll admit that at first I looked askance at the relationship but then, unlike Sally, I trust the spouse. Instead of going all Sally on him, I got to know the spouse’s coworker when I would call their office and she would answer the phone(the spouse attends an amazing amount of meetings in his job). We even became friends.

So, based on my experience, I’m just not seeing Sally’s position. She had the opportunity at that party to get to know Aria and instead, Sally threw a snit. As far as I can see, she doesn’t trust Ted.

And that Alice character? Alice from Dilbert needs to stop by with the “fist of death” for that one.
Mibbitmaker
January 10th, 2009 at 3:18 am [Reply]

1/10:

Agnes: I think I’ve seen this WB cartoon. Friz Freleng directed it, I think. Or was that a Gene Deitch Tom & Jerry? No, it was the dark humor gag in the Gumby Christmas Special… or possibly the one from A Letterman Family Christmas……. Reagan economic policy? Aw, forget it!

A3G: Margo is feelin’ blue without Eric around.

BBailey: Hey, Camp Swampy! This sign here SAYS, “Pinging is currently not allowed”! Cut it out!

Curtis: Well, I’m glad someone is getting a laugh from this strip, anyway.

JP: Whoa! That Barreto puts his best drawing in the best places! Even the coloring gnomes can’t screw it up.

Luann IS 9 Chickweed Lane!

MW: Touche, Lynn! Now, will you two PLEASE FINISH THIS REPETITIVE CONVERSATION UP??!?

PBS: How ’bout the Bucket in “Gil Thorp”, Pig?

RMMD: Looks like Kevin Smith and the late Lou Rawls are really slumming it these days.

S-M: Later… “Hey, Jameson! I got really good shots of Spider-Man letting a crook get away just to appear on camera!”

Zits: Well, there she goes again! (end of cartoon sting by Stalling, iris out, concentric circles with end of Looney Tunes theme and “That’s all folks” graphic. Fade to black)

ZtP: Yeah, too bad it doesn’t distort Griffy’s sense of judgmental intellectual snobbery, though, huh? And btw, it’s Griffy whose buddies are fictional — those two in the strip with him, that is.
DaveyK
January 10th, 2009 at 3:34 am [Reply]

The writer of Momma, if I may use the term “writer” that loosely, has not yet discovered the Internet.
bats :[
January 10th, 2009 at 3:53 am [Reply]

153. Poteet: a little more to bring back the ~~nightmares~~ memories:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3184450610/sizes/o/
sugarpie
January 10th, 2009 at 3:58 am [Reply]

Im loving the political splooge over on the “let she who dresses…” post. What, oh what, is that?
dale
January 10th, 2009 at 4:41 am [Reply]

sugarpie – 158

I couldn’t tell whether that thing was supposed to be sarcasm or not.
The “we haven’t been attacked again” argument is a definite case of post hoc, ergo propter hoc.
There have been times when the administration has hinted that there were attempted attacks, but they fought them off and it’s all too secret to tell us about.
Baka Gaijin
January 10th, 2009 at 4:48 am [Reply]

Saturday’s Strip:

Spiderman: You know you’ve sunk to the lowest levels of the cartoon world when Reality Check does a better reboot strip than you.
dale
January 10th, 2009 at 4:50 am [Reply]

Muffaroo

A parsec is a measure of distance equal to 3.26 light-years. A light-year was a measure of distance until the word-vandals got to it. Do not help them.
Zaq
January 10th, 2009 at 5:56 am [Reply]

bats :[, may I be so incredibly bold as to request a mash-up? I remarked yesterday (or the day before, my memory fails me) that we need to see a Sunday-sized strip of Dixie singing “Still Alive.” I’ve been thinking, though, even if Baretto won’t indulge us (and you just know he won’t), that doesn’t mean such a thing can’t exist, right? What do you think, worth the effort? A good tribute to our girl Julep? Just a suggestion, really, but if you have some free time…
Amateur
January 10th, 2009 at 9:45 am [Reply]

MW: Frank, buddy, She’s Just Not That Into You. Give it up.
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 10th, 2009 at 9:48 am [Reply]

#121 – Some sort of mustelid, perhaps? That might explain the curious mix of oxygen deprivation / borderline nausea that Cherry’s presenting in the first panel there.
dreadedcandiru2
January 10th, 2009 at 9:52 am [Reply]

Sunday Foob Advisory: John spends a pleasant afternoon with the kids but leaves a big mess for Elly to clean up. He’d do it himself but it’s best not to get yelled at for doing things in the unacceptably efficient and productive way his mother does.
One-eyed Wolfdog
January 10th, 2009 at 10:05 am [Reply]

DtM: That guy looks sort of Episcopalian, but the iconography suggests a rogue mathematical sect that considers division, for some reason, to be a heretical operation. His frequent sermons on the book of Numbers are not only long-winded, they are filled with a terrifying amount of red-faced, spittle-flecked righteous fury.
papa zita
January 10th, 2009 at 10:09 am [Reply]

MW: Boy, is this dull. I’m down to noticing that magenta, cyan, and yellow are used in the panels today.

9CL: Chinless girls gone wild. Is Brooke’s entire complement of women chinless?

A3G: Oh, no! The dreaded blinkenlight, heralding doom for Margo’s…ah Margo, that call was from you, when you made extra sure the apartment was empty.
texas buddha
January 10th, 2009 at 10:13 am [Reply]

Hey everybody.

I’ve taken a break from the New World Order Family Circus to add the second installment of my favorite zombie movies to my blog.

Enjoy.

Sorry if a messed up the links. I’m still learning.
Brick Bradford
January 10th, 2009 at 10:23 am [Reply]

SM Standing with hands on hips while the crook drives way in an armored car is a funny way to catch bank robbers.

DT You’d think Dick would be familiar with the smell of burning human flesh after all these years.

A3G Lucy and Ethel could do a more efficient apartment search than this.

MW Gee, it’s a shame that Lynn didn’t have the option of, oh, I don’t know, telling Greg that her father was making her break off their friendship instead of letting him think it was her idea. No, she couldn’t have done something that smacked of maturity and responsibility.
redhot7850
January 10th, 2009 at 10:53 am [Reply]

Since when does Tiffany put things in RED boxes? It appears that Margo wouldn’t know a real Tiffany box if it jumped out and bit her.
Dingo
January 10th, 2009 at 11:20 am [Reply]

Now there’s a New York Post headline I’d like to see: BOX BITES BITCH.
Dingo
January 10th, 2009 at 11:39 am [Reply]

bats #150:

I think I posted this a few years ago but my mother used to hate a song I made up to the Spider-Man theme song:

Dr. Quinn! Dr. Quinn!
Woman working in medicine!
Way out west. Kids in tow.
She’s a gal, on the go.
Watch out!
Here comes that Dr. Quinn!

I would sing that every week at the beginning of the program. I’m surprised I lived to tell it.

The Rex Boat

Rex, that closeted fool
Pour a drink and push in his stool
Rex, here’s your chance for to take
Treat that Latin cock, like a T-bone steak!

The Rex boat, overboard both June and kid will go
The Rex boat promises Guido Tomas he’ll blow
If you take doctor’s orders
His moral borders will fall

And Rex won’t hurt anymore
Thanks to AstroGlide, he’s a hirsute whore!
It’s Rex!
Welcome aboard
It’s Rex!
Lorem Ipsum
January 10th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

Dick smells something funny.
Funny, Dick smells something.
Something smells funny, Dick.
Something funny smells Dick.
Dick smells funny, something…
buckyswife
January 10th, 2009 at 11:50 am [Reply]

SM: I just noticed that the bug on Spidey’s back looks much more like a tick than a spider. Which makes sense because Spiderman, you know, sucks.
Honeypot
January 10th, 2009 at 11:58 am [Reply]

Hmmm….back into the SForth fray. A lot of good comments have been made on both sides, but I still agree with Ted. Sally demanded that he make a friend, which for whatever reason wasn’t easy for him. He did so. Then he saw his friend all gussied up at a party he didn’t expect to see her at, and Sally was pissy to her because she felt challenged. It was obvious to Ted that a)Sally doesn’t trust him, and b)he’s not allowed to even be friends with another woman.

Sally can’t have it both ways. She can’t demand Ted do something and then judge how he does it. She also expects Ted to crawl and apologize when he -really- hasn’t done anything wrong, and nothing she didn’t ask him to do. She’s behaving like her mother the control freak.

There is a school of thought that men and women CAN’T be friends, that any friendship is just a cover for an emotional affair. I don’t believe that, and won’t believe that Ted is guilty of it until I see him hitting on Aria or Ces shows us Ted’s NSFW fantasies.

I will say that one sure way to guarantee that Ted thinks about it is for Sally to accuse him of it, and to treat him and Aria like crap because SHE is the one who is insecure. Sally has been top dog in the relationship for a long time, and she sees Aria as direct competition.

Oh, and I walk my cat on a leash, too. She is an odd cat, granted, but she really loves it to the point that she demands to go out. I’ve seen her drag her leash around the house in a not-too-subtle hint.
Big Thyme
January 10th, 2009 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

DT: I guess Dick Tracy has gotten his neighborhood so used to explosions and bloodshed that nobody even raises an eyebrow when his neighbor has an explosion so forceful it blows the windows off the house, shatters the porch railings and has smoke pouring out of every opening. Dick, Tess and the Smirking Horror barely notice this.

Thanks Ye Gods that Tracy’s neighborhood has one of those Neighborhood Watches that the Sunday strip is always pushing. Pity the Fire Department can’t be bothered to get off their butts to actually drive down to the site of an actual explosion. “Hey Chief, we’ve got reports of an window shattering explosion next to the Tracy place.” “Oh, give the owner a phone call. Wouldn’t want to disturb that nice Professor Noll over some cranky old Neighborhood Watch busybodies!”

Yep, this latest storyline is already in full grips of Locher dementia.
buckyswife
January 10th, 2009 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

Kudos to Ces M. for taking SF in a direction that inspires so much discussion! A few years back, the strip was just repetitive and quippy, but now there’s some complexity and development. Yeah, it’s just a comic strip–but these discussions show that something can be “just a comic strip” but also be interesting.
odinthor
January 10th, 2009 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

Ballard Street. — Win.

FB. — At first I thought this was a parable about Hohenzollern family politics in the late 1600s as contrasted with the inner workings of the Divan of the Sublime Porte; but it appears to be some mere quotidian japery. Fred, what’s happened to you?

GT. — ~~Why is Gil answering from the floor just in front of Bill?~~ Gil, he may be the best you’ve ever seen; but haven’t you ever heard the term “jail bait”? Meanwhile, in other news: Busy Brenda’s certainly glad she got a “Take A Number” machine!

BG featuring SS. — Um, why is the Parson holding a giant toothbrush, and what’s he about to do to Snuffy with it? And why are they both so happy about it? Oh, heh, maybe this is the strip about the Hohenzollerns!
Moss_Moses
January 10th, 2009 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

Lynn is all ready to bust an I Dream of Jeanie blink move in panel one. Frank has been inconsistent, starting out the heart to heart with “so that’s why you hate me”, later “I didn’t know you still resented me”. Is he saying Lynn quit hating him sometime during the the agonizing, drawn out drama queen discussion? That’s the only logical conclusion based on what he said.
Calico
January 10th, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

Cameo apperance on the Rex Boat by OJ(ail) Simpson! Free booze for all, autographs $1000 each.
These Strange Worlds
January 10th, 2009 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

BC

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2009/1/10&name=BC

Is this a whole new character for the series? Maybe the first new character created under the new team?
gleeb
January 10th, 2009 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

Brewster Rocket: Personally, I’m not going to buy the Seattle Post-Intelligencer (or any other newspaper business) and put it back on its feet. No one in the audience for the comics is. It’s not just this comic, but every one that makes hay with the trials of the newspaper business. I’ve had enough of them, and I wish they’d stop.

Archie: I know there’s nothing I relish more than a candy bar covered with ass-sweat.

‘bean: That kid’ll be dead from tinnitus within the year.

Gil: 31? Brenda’s going to get something of a rep.

Sam Driver, air traveler!: Gee thanks for this strip. I know Sam was taken to the airport, but without this it would have been jarring to see him suddenly at home. Nice view of Abbey slipping her hand in her jeans as she talks to the big lump, anyway.

Pardon My Planet: While it’s refreshing to see a reversal of the idea that women are more domestic than men, I’m more worried that her therapist is Abraham Lincoln.

Phantom: Between the Mori and the lizard-dude, there’s no need for ol’ stripey-shorts at all.

Rex: Because there’s nothing I want to do on vacation like my job. Without being paid. Serving chubby guys in loud shirts.

Sally: Ah, nicely done, Ces. The children stand as a foil to the adults. But what’s up with the weirdly-walking kid between the first and second panels?
John C Fremont
January 10th, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

# 128 Comcis Fan – I’ve no strong feelings either way on the Ted Forth issue, but thank you for giving us the line, “A typo, cookies and stubbornness will do that.” I can relate.

Honest, I like “MacArthur Park,” it’s just that it’s so darned easy to mock. As Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog would say, “I keed because I love.”

A3G – Probably just a telemarketer.

MW – Frank, she said, “Thanks to you.” I think the proper response is, “You’re welcome.”

RMMD – But I thought the point of being Silent Bob was that he doesn’t talk. (I know Mibbitmaker already made a Kevin Smith reference but, as Carol Cleveland once said, it’s my only line! Make sense? Of course not. But at least it gave me a reason to think about Carol Cleveland.)

JP – Detective who? (Huminah, huminah, huminah.)

DT – Since when does the fire department call ahead?

Pluggers – I suspect that a certain Walt Sanders was neutered somewhere along the line.
These Strange Worlds
January 10th, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

S4th and My Cage

I’m sorta confused by all the attention lavished here concerning Ted’s work wife and whether it is appropriate.

The whole work wife issue has been an intrigral feature of DeJesus and Power’s “My Cage.”

Since Powers drops by here occasionally, I wonder what he thinks.

On the surface, it seems to be the Norm and Ashley’s relationship is a lot more “dangerous” to Bridget, al the more so because Norm and Bridget aren’t actually married yet.
These Strange Worlds
January 10th, 2009 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

For the record, MacArthur Park is one of my favorites. maybe not quite as much as Shannon. That poor dog.

I think “Park MacArthur” is a good name for a supervillain.
True Fable
January 10th, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

# 181 These Strange Worlds – I may be mistaken but I think they have used this guy before.
Dingo
January 10th, 2009 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

These Strange Worlds, don’t forget that cute li’l pony, Wildfire.
Uncle Lumpy
January 10th, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

Re Ted’s “emotional affair”: boy, that phrase bothers me. Ted’s married, not neutered, and any heterosexual man who isn’t attracted to other women either doesn’t know how to look or isn’t paying attention.

Ted’s obligated to love, honor, and cherish his wife, and he clearly does, in part by never bitching about her to pals (even though Sally does that all the time).

But he can look all he wants, dammit. And if there’s a little frisson of excitement involved, well that’s fine unless he tries to whip it up into something that risks his marriage. Hell, maybe he can put the energy to use at home.
commodorejohn
January 10th, 2009 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

#142 Angry Kem – Amen. I’m just glad my parents gave up trying to make me an extrovert midway through my teens.

9CL – Juliette and Edda fantasize about having flippers for hands.

A3G – How could you possibly achieve real darkness in freaking New York? Is this strip set before light pollution was invented?

BB – Freud would have a field day.

FC – Well, C. Sandy Cyst is up and about again…guess the syphilis must be gone. Which means that today is the last day of my guest week over at The Family Circus Of Values.

FW – Ha ha! Even life’s little joys will come back to haunt you in terrible, permanently damaging ways! Ha ha ha!

GA – Maybe if this keeps up long enough, the whole town will band together and kill him. Hey, a guy can dream.

HOTC – …we actually did this when I was a kid. Tatulli, do you have some sort of window into my past, or something?

H&L – Does this seem creepy to anybody else?

JP – As glad as I am to see Abbey again…could she possibly have found a more awkward way to hold that phone?

Luann – You know, after watching Luann and future serial killer Gunther play “grope me for clothing purposes” and Brad continually display revulsion at the merest hint of physical contact with the woman who’s inexplicably attracted to him, watching the two dorky teachers talk about playing “hide the Washington Monument” is pretty much a breath of fresh air.

Monty – Umm…

Phantom – …huh. A week into the craziness, and no sign of a Scooby-Doo copout where it’s just some actor in a rubber suit. I’m actually interested to see where this is going.

Pluggers – have lost even the most basic aspects of their sexuality in the giant, dull gray of old age.

Popeye – DO SOMETHING!!!

RMMD – If Cliff Huxtable and Tattoo had a son.

SF – Hil, the whole world has always been insane.

SM – Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.

Edison Lee – Given that four out of six of the published suggestions this week were from Minnesota, Wisconsin, or Illinois, I think it’s quite possible that the Star-Tribune is the only paper that actually prints Edison Lee; the other two must have found it online.
John C Fremont
January 10th, 2009 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

# 185 – Due to a lingering confusion dating from the seventies between Henry Gross and Larry Groce, I nearly made a “Junk Food Junkie” reference. I was just going to let it go, but then I remembered that “Junk Food Junkie” referenced Euell Gibbons, so it sort of ties the past several hours together. Kinda like the great circle of stuff, as Mu Shu Fasa once said.

Hey, it was a cold night here in Nebraska, and I heard this girl calling, “Wildfire!” (Why couldn’t I have spent the seventies in a coma?)
bats :[
January 10th, 2009 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

162. zaq: I’m in mourning for Dixie. I think there were options for her, but they were all dashed in a hail of bullets. My heart’s just not into it…sigh.
Maybe it’s because with all the nice kitty talk, I’m still upset at sad Kitty-cat in FC and Dolly’s attempts to “walk her.” I hate the thought of abusing small animals.
Well, most of them, anyway…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3184710715/
Dingo
January 10th, 2009 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

June Morgan should be very cautious. That last boat that sailed by? Looks like some Indonesian junk that’s goin’ ’round.
Poteet
January 10th, 2009 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

# 157 bats — Not only are the nightmares back, but now my ribs hurt. I like the way your mind works.

# 190 John C Fremont — I say any pony who busts down his stall because of an “early frost” has serious emotional issues, possibly triggered when he was yclept “Wildfire.”
Calico
January 10th, 2009 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

#191 – Jesus, Bats. Bravo!

Our highway cat came home this AM – his name is Felix, as I probably mentioned – he has to wear one of those crazy Elizabethan collars for a while.
He’s a good one, with a mellow personality, and I promise to never put him on a leash.
Talking Squirrel
January 10th, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

#114 mollificent sez: “Brooke used to be a decent cartoonist.”

I suspect an elitist-musician undertone to that old strip. G# is a pain-in-the-ass key for half-ass old keyboardists like me. Luckily there’s not many rock anthems written in G# — it must suck for guitarists too. If I ever see anything in G# that I actually want to play, I just pretend it’s in Ab and play the same notes. Funny, there really is a difference between “half empty” and “half full”.

#135 Dingo sez: “I couldn’t because I knew that it had to end with Mark Trail’s fist o’ justice somehow being involved”

Well, if Mark hadn’t interrupted Cherry and Patty so untimely, in a little while Cherry might have been quite primed for Mark’s Fist o’ Justice. Or maybe only his Foot o’ Just Us, since it’s not nearly as intimidating.
Poteet
January 10th, 2009 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

JP — Detective Vavavoom is a big-bosomed bore compared to Dixie. I have placed a portrait of Dixie next to the portrait of Aldo in the windmill of my mind.

MW — I still don’t quite understand why Lynn is upset with Frank, so I really hope they’ll keep discussing it for another month.
Poteet
January 10th, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

# 194 Calico — Belated thanks for a wonderful cat rescue story *sniff*. You and Louise are, in my mind, surrounded by faint golden radiance.
Someone left the cat out in the rain / I don\'t think that I can take it / \'Cause it took so long to bake it / And I\'ll never have that recipe again...
January 10th, 2009 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

I will have the things that I desire, and my passions flow like rivers through the sky;
But after all the loves of my life, oh, after all the loves of my life
I’ll be thinking of Dixie — and wondering WHY??
Anonymous
January 10th, 2009 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

SF What continues to bother me is Sally’s reaction to Aria. It still doesn’t seem plausible–this jealous/angry reaction seems to have come out of nowhere…whereas Ted knew from the first moment he mentioned Aria that Sally’s hackles were up.

I’m now rooting for Aria to bitch slap Sally.

And what is this: Silly Walks Junior High??
True Fable
January 10th, 2009 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

#188 Uncle Lumpy – Amen on all counts, Unca.
papa zita
January 10th, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

@185: While Margo’s look is anachronistic, it’s not 1890s, which is probably the last decade that NYC didn’t have light pollution.
mollificent
January 10th, 2009 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

#157 bats: Really, really awesome. :D

#195 talking squirrel: I think it’s only meant to represent the note, not the key. I agree about G# as a playing key…blech. I think the joke is merely meant to cast the whole “empty/full” concept as an enharmonic metaphor, and on that level I think it succeeds beautifully. I have that one over my desk at work, and my co-workers get a huge kick out of it (I work in a musical instrument shop).

Lazy Friday Cup-O-Tea ‘n’ Breakfast-In-Bed snark:

RMMD: Hmmm…let’s see here. The crew is on strike because they’re not getting paid, right? So this passenger–who is PAYING to go on this cruise…is offering to act as a scab and work for free to keep the other passengers happy, even though he presumably went on the cruise to get away from his job. Hmmmm…

(P.S. My mom called me this morning and asked me if I could afford to join her and my stepdad on a cruise for their 25th anniversary. I managed to keep from laughing madly until we hung up, but all I could think about was RMMD. Especially because Mom would likely be the crazy martini lady. :D)

SF: Poor Hil. Surrounded by drama queens.

S-M: “I’ll show that bitch Annie Liebovitz who’s boss.”
KT
January 10th, 2009 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

Lola:
You don’t burn CDs ONTO a computer! You burn them FROM a computer! And WHY would you then rip them into mp3s?! Weren’t they burned from mp3s in the first place?

…Okay, now that I think about it, perhaps the CD was burned from some horrible DRM-laden proprietary format, in preparation for ripping them into freely transferable mp3s. I suppose I’ll let you off the hook for that.

But still… “onto the computer”… SHEESH!
Anonymous
January 10th, 2009 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

Jamus the Bartender @127: The only time I ever saw my first cat, Khat, try to climb a tree was the second–and final– time I put him on a leash. It was as if he was saying, “Put this thing on me one more time and I will hang myself!”

The first time I put him on a leash, he responded by pulling it taut in the direction he wanted to go and continuing in that direction whenever I gave him any slack, which eventually resulted in my standing in a neighbor’s front yard holding a leash that disappeared behind the bushes.

The reason for trying the leash was that he’d been picked up by Animal Control after wandering into a trap. To his credit, he avoided ever doing that again.

BTW, “Khat” is what results when a stray shows up on your doorstep and, four months later, you’re still calling him “Cat” and he responds to it.

GA: I’m starting to think Slim is like Peter Griffin: He’s mildly retarded and has somehow managed to escape diagnosis his whole life. Looking at the 1/10 strip, my first thought was “Of course he’s going to ruin everything he touches–he’s destroyed his own truck at least twice!” My second thought was “This idiot is sixty years old with two grown children!!”

Euell Gibbons even showed up in a strip in CARtoons magazine, of all places, around 1976. He was called “Fuel Gibbons” and cleaned up after breakfast by devouring the table and all the dishes and utensils. I don’t remember where the rest of the strip went after that, though.
Cartoonist Scott Shaw! created a funny-animal version called You-All Gibbon, the Junk-Food Monkey, who showed up in a comic as late as 1982.
Paul1963
January 10th, 2009 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

#204 was me.
Dingo
January 10th, 2009 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

So… has anyone else noticed that Barney Google has made no mention of the last election? I have thoughts running through my head as to what three panel would be presented on January 20 with Snuffy Smith commenting on Barack Obama.
Amateur
January 10th, 2009 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

Wow. I feel like I could get my graduate degree in “Sally Forth” just from reading this site. :-) Nice work, guys!
Angry Kem
January 10th, 2009 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

#202 mollificent: I agree about the G# thing. I was actually going to respond with a petty rant about how the word “elitism” gets flung around whenever anything about the arts comes up (even if the “anything” is just a cute joke about A flat and G sharp being the same note), but I deleted the whole thing at the last moment. I actually thought Edda’s response was pretty clever.

Re. S4th: I’m really, really identifying with Ted, possibly because most of my friends are guys. Geeks of a feather flock (platonically) together; what does gender matter next to the possibility of three-hour-long discussions about Battlestar Galactica? Ted’s reaction at the party seemed to me to stem mostly from his knowledge that Sally was already jealous of Aria.
bats :[
January 10th, 2009 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

202. mollificent: I don’t know if you could afford the cruise, but if they offered to pay for it, PLEASE go on it. Of course, it would be required that you have to take lots of photos, lushes at dinner, you checking out the lifeboats for stowaways, you comparing the size of your cabin to the Morgans’, and finding look-alikes for Rex, June, and Guido. Or at least passengers and/or crew most likely to pique Rex’s interest…

(Isn’t it funny how the comics weasel into our daily lives? The day after Christmas, I got a call from my debit card company’s fraud department, asking me if in the last hour, I’d made two online purchases with my card (both under $2.00) to the New York Times, and one (under $20.00) to a software company)! I was oddly pleased that I knew how to handle this and didn’t immediately go into hysterics, if for no other reason so I wouldn’t be mistaken for Toby Cameron… Thanks, Mary Worth!)
mollificent
January 10th, 2009 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

Angry Kem: Hahaha…being a folk musician, I’m probably more immune to offense when people start going on about elitism. Not that there aren’t folkie elitists, mind you…they just tend to be a little kooky. :) Then again, I do encounter real elitism from time to time…I almost bitch-slapped a woman who came into the store where I work, asked to see our harps, and then (upon viewing the gorgeous display of our lovingly crafted, high-quality folk harps) declaimed, “Oh, I’m not interested in those piddly little harps. I want a REAL harp.”

PIXIE HULK SMASH!!!
mollificent
January 10th, 2009 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

P.S. bats: I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Mum were to find a way…she’s always been pretty good at that. Then again, their financial situation isn’t great either. But yes, if I did go on a cruise, it would have all kinds of hilarious RMMD overtones. And I’ve always wanted to…I just don’t want to plunder my savings account/max out my already burdened credit cards to do it.

Anyway, it wouldn’t be until August or so anyway (their anniversary month), so I’m sure this whole RMMD plot will only be a distant memory by then. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *wiping away a tear* Oh, I kill myself sometimes…
Vince M
January 10th, 2009 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

193 – Poteet, and I’m properly ashamed I know this, it was a killing frost that caused Wildfire to bust down his stall. That is, a frost that can freeze all but the heartiest vegetation (in other words, basic winter weather). Which is definitely still an overreaction.
Poteet
January 10th, 2009 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

Re the cat/leash thing, my cats come in two types. Type One isn’t thrilled, but will put up with a walk on a leash and even get some enjoyment out of it. Type Two knows that a leash is Satan’s own instrument of torment, and reacts accordingly. I should have put all that in the past tense, because now there are two outdoor roofed enclosures and the leashes have been retired.
KT
January 10th, 2009 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

S4th:
I’m concerned about the kid with the backpack at the right side of panel 1. His left leg isn’t silly at all, and his right leg merely does a forward aerial half turn every alternate step.
Poteet
January 10th, 2009 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

# 212 Vince — Thanks, and you are of course correct. I remember now. I mixed up the “killing frost” with the “early snow.” And given that horses here in Iowa remain calm even when snow falls in bucketloads, I think Wildfire was too tender an equine blossom for Nebraska, and should have moseyed on down to Mexico.
Angry Kem
January 10th, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

#210 mollificent: Ooh…I want to visit your store. Toronto is almost bereft of folk-instrument stores; it’s all guitars and pianos around here (plus some Greek places and one fantastic accordion store in which I could probably spend hours). I would like to get an autoharp, but I think I’m going to have to buy it online (and I really don’t like buying instruments sight unseen); nobody sells autoharps in this city.

As you may be able to tell, I am also a folk musician. I play mostly by ear. I’ve certainly encountered real elitists (for instance, the guy who said he always had his eye out for new musicians in his grad residence. When I pointed out the accomplished guitarist sitting nearby, he went, “I mean real musicians.” He doesn’t consider me a real musician because I play the accordion by ear). However, I tend to get unnecessarily pissy when people assume that Music (or any variety of the arts) in General = Elitism.

And now I shall make an actual comment about the actual comics:

Is it just me, or is Slim (GA) the kind of person who deserves to be shot out of a cannon? Repeatedly? Until the end of time?
odinthor
January 10th, 2009 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

188. Uncle Lumpy.

Re Ted’s “emotional affair”: boy, that phrase bothers me. Ted’s married, not neutered, and any heterosexual man who isn’t attracted to other women either doesn’t know how to look or isn’t paying attention.

Ted’s obligated to love, honor, and cherish his wife, and he clearly does, in part by never bitching about her to pals (even though Sally does that all the time).

But he can look all he wants, dammit. And if there’s a little frisson of excitement involved, well that’s fine unless he tries to whip it up into something that risks his marriage. Hell, maybe he can put the energy to use at home.

Right on, Uncle Lumpy! And, here’s some advice for Sally from Ethel Waters (”If You Can’t Hold the Man You Love,” Fain, ca. 1926):

“My sermon for the Sabbath Day,”
Said Parson Johnson Brown,
“Is going to of interest to every gal in town;
Mandy Lee has done told me
Her man is gone away.
That will be the subject
Which I’ll preach about today.”

If you can’t hold the man you love,
Don’t cry when he’s gone;
If you can’t keep a good man down,
Don’t you carry on!
First I want you gals to know
A little fact I’ve known,
It takes more than a radio
To keep a man at home!
And some night when you’re alone,
Waitin’ for the dawn,
Listen, sisters, listen while I warn, doggone:
You can’t mail a letter if it isn’t stamped,
You can’t reform a man, but he can be revamped!
If you can’t hold the man you love,
Don’t cry when he’s gone!
You can’t hold a bird unless you feed him seeds,
You can’t hold a dog without the bones he needs,
If a monkey don’t get peanuts, why, you’ll find him gone;
You can’t hold a chicken ‘less you feed him corn;
You can’t hold a seal unless you feed him fish,
You even got to grant a baby’s slightest wish,
And just as sure as there’s a lord above,
You can’t hold a man unless you give him love!

If you can’t hold the man you love,
Don’t cry when he’s gone;
If you can’t keep a good man down,
Don’t you carry on!
The secret, ladies, is to know
Just what your man desires,
Learn to cultivate the tastes
His appetite requires.
And some night when you’re alone,
Waitin’ for the dawn,
Listen, sisters, listen while I warn, doggone:
You better get wise, realize the truth!
Keep your home fires burnin’ for your flaming youth,
If you can’t hold the man you love,
Don’t cry when he’s gone!
I’m preachin’,
Don’t cry when he’s gone!
Steve the Pocket
January 10th, 2009 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

#203: It’s especially embarrassing in a strip that pokes fun at a character’s technical backwardness.

On a related note, I’m trying to wrap my head around why he’s holding an eight-track player that appears to have been removed from a larger device, possibly a car. Does he think he can pop it into the computer’s spare drive bay and record onto a blank tape that way? For that matter, did they ever sell eight-track players with record heads?
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 10th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

1/10

Phantom: Okay, I think we can count it as preserved.

GA: You’d almost think that hiring a mechanic as cook’s assistant based solely on his chronic overeating was a bad idea.

MT: “Okay, you girls have your little girl talk. But remember whose name it is on the marquee.”

9CL: “Just think, if it were Frank Cho drawing us we’d be bustier and we’d be wearing even less.”
“Um, okay mom.”

Archie: The actual consequence of keeping a candy bar in your pants while working out would be that everyone would think you had shit yourself. Maybe it’s unfair to expect a computer to think of this, though.

HtH: It looks like Hagar is supposed to wear that helmet on the other head. No, I’m not happy about that image either.

DtM: “Mister Mitchell, you’ve made a powerful enemy in Sam Waterston.”

Garfield: Try dumping a real cat like that and your legs will be minus an ounce of flesh.

RMMD: If you wear that shirt, your blood has to be at least 25% alcohol. It’s the law.

Ziggy: Tom Wilson better be ready for those angry letters from the real Hat of the Month Club.

S4th: “Jesus, Faye, have you started menstruating or something?”

SFx: The Schmenge Brothers are starting to wear on each other in their old age.

Luann: Oh dear God, no sexual tension here, please! If any scene of Luann’s teachers dissolves into a montage of Chickweedian hand-jiving, I’m bailing.

A3G: Mext week! Margo learns of Eric’s once in a lifetime opportunity to switch from cable to satellite. Can you handle the excitement?

M-Dawg: Because you’d rather lose your dignity than your life? Just guessing.

S-M: “Sigh. If only I had some way of stopping that truck. Like say, something mounted on my wrist that could spray superstrong webbing. Eh, it’s almost Dr. Phil time anyway.”
dyslexic dog
January 10th, 2009 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

#188 — Uncle Lumpy:
FWIW, Ted doesn’t have any pals.
Poteet
January 10th, 2009 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

# 216 Angry Kem — It’s not just you. And if Clovia ever kills him, more power to her.
Uncle Lumpy
January 10th, 2009 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

#220 ddog –

Not at his current job, true. But he had that knitting circle of guys back at his old shop, and I don’t recall any “Oh, teh wimmen” conversations.

I’m just sayin’ he’s crazy about Sally but really needs somebody who doesn’t sneer at his interests.
dyslexic dog
January 10th, 2009 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

#222 — UL:
Sorry, didn’t mean any discredit, but I arrived late to the Sally party, and was unaware of any knitting circle?! It’s just that Ted seems like the kinda fella who’s independent and doesn’t need pals. Unless he needs to borrow a stitch manual or something.

As for Sally, this particular story arc doesn’t suit her. I’m working on my disbelief suspension exercises.
John C Fremont
January 10th, 2009 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

# 216 Angry Kem – I don’t want to see Slim shout out of a cannon so much as to be shot by a cannon. Or run over by his own truck, over and over. Or to have a meteor dropped on him.

I hate him. I do hate him.
sugarpie
January 10th, 2009 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

#223 dyslexidog. That’s a very good point. Might be why this has been a little polarizing and confusing.

I haven’t really believed Sally thinks Ted would cheat on her; she knows he just wouldn’t. (Not to say he doesnt appreciate the attention.)
I think the cartoonist has made a mistake. By the way, does anyone know how is his name is pronounced? ‘Chess’ or ’sess’?
Baka Gaijin
January 10th, 2009 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

#224 John C Fremont: “Or to have a meteor dropped on him [Slim].” From the Ironic Demises for Dummies, available at amazon.com right now.
sugarpie
January 10th, 2009 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

And with that, I’m over it. I can’t believe I’ve spent this much time on fictional characters. I. Have. Sinned.
dyslexic dog
January 10th, 2009 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

Oh, sugarpie.
You. Are. Human. (unless you’re a fictional character)
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
January 10th, 2009 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

Mollificent, Talking Squirrel, Angry Kem, et al:
If I may be a music elitist for a moment, I would like to point out at G# and Ab are not technically the same note. They are almost the same note, and on most instruments are played as the same note (it is the same key on a piano, for example).

I took one quarter of “The Physics of Music” in 1990 and I think that entitles me to bloviate.
commodorejohn
January 10th, 2009 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

#216 Angry Kem – You play the accordion? Awesome.

(Also, it’s not just you. Slim deserves…well, pretty much anything anybody can think of to throw at him. Until the end of time.)

#218 Steve the Pocket – Sadly, there do not appear to be eight-track players for 5 1/4″ drive bays. However, there are cassette decks that will fit.

#225 sugarpie – His given name is “Francesco,” so I’m assuming it starts with an S sound.
Esther Blodgett
January 10th, 2009 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

#141 True Fable: A while back I was in the car with my kiddo when “MacArthur Park” came on the radio. As her eyes glazed over from the lyrics and the over-the-top vocals, I moved in for the kill. “Do you know who’s singing this?” I asked. “Dumbledore!” She nearly went into hysterics.
Angry Kem
January 10th, 2009 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

#230 LBFF: Ahhhhhhh…you are the sort of person who shakes your head sagely because my accordion is not tuned to that exact pitch orchestras are expected to tune to, whatever it is! (Actually, I’m pretty sure it is. It’s always been in tune with other instruments before; this Christmas, however, something went wrong somewhere, and our band’s fiddler started accusing me of being tuned wrong, even though this was the first time EVER we had had an issue. I am rather inclined to believe that the fiddler was tuned wrong. The fact that he was also suddenly and inexplicably out of tune with my pennywhistle was also a clue.)

That’s okay. I forgive you. Taking one quarter of “The Physics of Music” entitles one to be pedantic for fun. Keep going…
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
January 10th, 2009 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

Angry Kem@232
Actually, I doubt I could tell if something was in tune. The music I listen to… well it helps if you don’t let yourself worry about that sort of thing. I can tell if something is very much OUT of tune, though.

Mainly I like trivia. And in my defense, The Physics of Music was a one-quarter class, designed to be paired with two quarters of particle physics (for some reason) to complete the physical sciences requirement in a series known as “physics for poets”.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
January 10th, 2009 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

…Though I do like to shake my head sagely when I get the chance.
Esther Blodgett
January 10th, 2009 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

H&L: Bowling pins do not go “Ka-Boom!” Except for terrorist suicide-bomber bowling pins.

RMMD: Hey, I’ll bet the bartender guy can solve all the cruise line’s problems. I mean, look at him – his brain must be HUGE!

MF: That’s…random.

BB: Due to the Pentagon’s budget cut, Camp Swampy’s Heavy Artillery Table Tennis Unit has lost its pong capability.

FW: You don’t have to turn every perfectly good aphorism into a pun, especially when the result doesn’t make sense. Or does Dinkle not actually know the difference between a band and a chorus?

GF: The “paw-pow” dichotomy is deeply lyrical and packs an emotional punch. Two dew-claws up.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
January 10th, 2009 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

Sugarpie and Commodore John –
I’ve read it’s to be pronounced “chezz”. “Francesco” is an Italian name, in any event, and the “c” is pronounced “ch”.
Anonymous
January 10th, 2009 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

MT: After much thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that Patty is an exotic dancer at Lo Fo Gentleman’s Club, and her act involves a boa constrictor. Hilarity ensues when Mark gets to punch out some mustachioed club patron who wants that no good snake killed for trying to strangle him whilst protecting Patty from the big galoot’s unwelcome advances.
bats :[
January 10th, 2009 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

225. sugarpie: with a name like Francesco, I think the nickname is pronounced “chess”. (Sorry, commodorejohn, I see the name as Fran-chess-ko. I see Francisco as Fran-sis-ko. Oh, Pancho. Oh, Cisco.)

And for the record, Weird Al is God. Or demi-god. Not only of the accordian, but as someone who saved “MacArthur Park” for me, claymation and all.
Esther Blodgett
January 10th, 2009 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

#218 Steve the Pocket: My dad had an eight-track recorder. Unlike pre-recorded tapes that would at least attempt to jump tracks between songs, on home-recorded tapes the jumps more often than not came in the middle of songs. For years, whenever I heard the Beatle’s “Hello Goodbye,” I always braced myself for a “ker-chunk” in the little silent part just before the “hey-la-hey-hello-ah” fadeout.
migellito
January 10th, 2009 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

zits – your kid forgot your birthday eh? grow up.

funky – that took a long time to go a really short way.
FOOBed again
January 10th, 2009 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

#223 DD: I don’t think they literally knitted. But they used to get together after work and have a beer, or play basketball or something. I remember there was one time when they had something planned at the very same time Sally wanted Ted to do something or go to something, and he had to make a choice.
FOOBed again
January 10th, 2009 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

Crap, I forgot to close the italics in #241.
Talking Squirrel
January 10th, 2009 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

#204 Anonymous sez: “Euell Gibbons even showed up in a strip in CARtoons magazine, of all places, around 1976.”

CARtoons was still around in ‘76? Cripes, I thought they crumped in the sixties. Last one I read was probably in about 1965. Sure didn’t have “Fuel” Gibbons. Dunno what he would’ve done with Rat Fink. Moogaloonie, baybee!
Joe Blevins
January 10th, 2009 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

Just for, uh… fun I guess, here is a comparison of Dick Tracy and an actual Calvin Klein Obsession For Men ad.
agony
January 10th, 2009 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

For me, it’s easy – I like Ted, don’t like Sally that much. So, Ted’s right, and Sally’s being a ballbreaker.
Talking Squirrel
January 10th, 2009 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

Steve the Pocket says: “For that matter, did they ever sell eight-track players with record heads?”

Not for in-dash installation, as far as I know. But they did have them for the home. I bought mine from Madman Muntz!

It was a bit mad, actually. No matter what I recorded, it only played back in the key of G#. But I wasn’t intending to accompany it on the piano while driving, anyway.
Facebones
January 10th, 2009 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

No wonder Penthouse went bankrupt.
Ukulele Ike
January 10th, 2009 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

Ab Major has four flats. Is G# Major the same?

(Four flats when I play piano or flute. Of course, if I’m playing my cornet or my tenor saxophone, which are pitched at Bb, Ab has TWO flats. If I play my son’s alto sax, in Eb, it’s got…..)

AHHHHHHH….Josh, POST already, before I go to mollificent’s shop and start trying out the harps.
Little Guy
January 10th, 2009 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

238: I believe ‘C-e-s-’ is pronounced ‘Throat Warbler Mangrove’.

S4th: Breaking up Sal and Ted is one thing. Breaking up Hil and Faye is unforgivable.

JP: Sorry, too many buttons buttoned.
Lanfranc
January 10th, 2009 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

Dear God, G# major? It frightens me to imagine how many sharps there would be in that. Must be, what, eight or nine?
commodorejohn
January 10th, 2009 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

#238 bats :[ – Oh, definitely. As much as I like the original version, “Jurassic Park” is just about the most full-of-win thing in Al’s discography.

Also, grargh, music theory. The trying-to-remember-key-signatures memories still haunt me to this day.
Amy
January 11th, 2009 at 12:02 am [Reply]

I just got home from vacation and am catching up on this week’s comics…

In the time that it took Rex’s table to order drinks, I went on an entire 7-day cruise, complete with food and beverage service.
jamoche
January 11th, 2009 at 12:39 am [Reply]

the Dick Tracy cologne will smell mostly of seared human flesh.

First thought: the Burger King perfume that smells of meat. No, seriously – “The Whopper sandwich is America’s favorite burger. Flame by BK captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat.”
Angry Kem
January 11th, 2009 at 1:02 am [Reply]

The great chronicle of the Peasants’ Revolt of 1381 continues over at The Wizard of Id.

The key of G# contains a hell of a lot of sharps. As a flute player, I was always more likely to be assaulted in band and at music lessons with keys containing a hell of a lot of flats. Despite this fact, when I play (by ear) in G#/Ab on the piano, I often think of it as G#. Maybe I am rebelling against my childhood flute lessons. It beats me.
Muffaroo
January 11th, 2009 at 1:05 am [Reply]

FCircus – No, Billy, there’s no country called “Chicken.” If it’s any consolation, Tunisia tastes like a sort of chicken of the sea.

GThorp – Number 31? Good god, Brenda’s one busy hooker!

MFmore – I’ll go one farther: I’ll remain indifferent to any and all aspects of the NBA except insofar as they may one day pre-empt something I wanted to watch.

Mduke – Why does it look like they had to pull the sled down a hill? Doesn’t gravity work in this strip?

MWorth – Go re-read some snark from last week. Why should we be the only ones trying here?

PBS – It occurred to me that the good guys in this strip don’t have names; only the crocs do. Then I went and thought about something else for a while.

Pluggers – You can tell when a gas station went out of business by the gas prices still visible on their sign.

SSmif – I expect that if they showed Hoot’n Holler from the right angle, we’d see that every house, shack, and hovel has a satellite dish on or in front of it. (Oh, hey, this strip’s signed. John Rose, eh?)

Ziggy – I think the Tom Wilson who does this is now Tom II, who was co-signing with the old man for a while some time back. I just happened to see an older panel and was reminded of it.

Zits – Walt’s joint would be more realistic if they drew some smoke coming from it.
Muffaroo
January 11th, 2009 at 1:10 am [Reply]

dale @161 – A joke is a play on words, sometimes riffing on a well-known screw-up like the one in STAR WARS (as uttered by Darth “breathe, breathe” Vader!), intended to produce an agreeable sensation in the minds of those who “get” it. Hint: Much of what is said on “humor” sites is intended as “humor”!

Angry Kem @216 – I have an accordion. I haven’t seen it yet, but my sister brought it from Colorado out to Michigan, so I’d only have to drive 14 hours to rendezvous with it. Unless my sister in Michigan meets me in Chicago with it, then it’s just 11 hours. I look forward to meeting my accordion.
Angry Kem
January 11th, 2009 at 1:23 am [Reply]

#256 Muffaroo: It is always worth meeting one’s accordion.
Poteet
January 11th, 2009 at 1:41 am [Reply]

1/11 Stone Soup — So the only choices are football or the mall? Gaaah, sounds like my idea of hell.
bats :[
January 11th, 2009 at 1:41 am [Reply]

A few Sunday observations:

FW: dang, that Funky can leap 10 years into the future and still miss the last two months’ worth of economic developments without missing a beat! Good fer you, Batutuiuiuik!

JP: if Judge Parker retires, does the strip get a new name? “Counselor Driver”? “Sexy Secretary Gloria”? “Freaky Space-Monkey Sophie”? “Dixie Julep, Dead Stripper”?

MT: funny, this is the only way Mary Worth can shed tears, too!

MW: will this never end? Do we have to resort to shooting Lynn and/or Frank to nudge the plot along?

Phantom: next week’s exciting episode: Kani receives the Diaper of Merit!

RMMD: when you see dinner depends on your opinion of how many olives and cocktail onions constitute a meal…

FOOBlite: die, Ellie, die. And take your freakish neatnic genetics with you.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 11th, 2009 at 2:45 am [Reply]

#252 Amy,
Now you’re just showing off.
Calvinball Forever!
January 11th, 2009 at 3:02 am [Reply]

Hello all–

I’m a frequent lurker, and I love this site. I don’t tend to post because, while intelligent, I’m no match for the biting wit of Josh and his cronies.

I post now because a question came to me while I was in the shower. I don’t follow Mark Trail except when it’s posted here, so I may have missed something, but what the hell happened to that kid who looked like Howdy Doody: The Dark Side? Rusty, I think his name was. Did he just wander off into the woods and die? Did Andy eat him? Did our hero chalk it up to natural selection because the kid’s hair wasn’t glossy and rigid enough for the standards of the Lost Forest (or whatever backwoods time warp they live in)?

And please don’t ask me why I was thinking of Mark Trail in the shower, because I feel unclean enough as it is…

Also…to #2 One-eyed Wolfdog…COTW!
Dr. Weird
January 11th, 2009 at 3:49 am [Reply]

#261 Calvinball Forever!-

I think of Rusty, Mark’s adopted son, as something like the Scarlet Witch’s children from the Avengers… they were creations of her power and vanished when she wasn’t thinking about them.

When you don’t see him, he doesn’t exist.
Baka Gaijin
January 11th, 2009 at 5:35 am [Reply]

Sunday’s Strips:

Mary Worth: Lynn, dear, the only way you’re going to get Daddy Dearest to understand the pain you’re in is to push him out the window. If we’re lucky, Mary’s tingling biddysense compelled her to wait outside to meddle ~~Von~~ Daddy as he lay dying in the azaleas. Instead he falls on her, crushing her osteoporitic bones into a powder. She continues to chide him as Mary needs no internal framework to support her buttinskying.

Slylock Fox: How to draw a ~~drunken~~ friendly mouse.

Pluggers: “…Always push the knife blade away from you. Like this…” Missing line: “Personal experience speaking. Now you know why I have five fingers. Total.”

Rose is Rose: Jimbo, they have therapies to reduce your obsession with barbecuing.
mollificent
January 11th, 2009 at 5:35 am [Reply]

250 Lanfranc: LMAO!! :D

*sigh* Yes, I am a geek.
True Fable
January 11th, 2009 at 5:58 am [Reply]

RMMWDespite the presence of such stars as Peter Lorre and Kyra Sedgwick as a couple of old drunk lushes, the biggest stars in today’s strip are in the final panel: June’s breasts!
JP So does this mean Reggie Black folded his campaign in a week? And I like the rakish way Sam tossed off his adventures in Scottsdale – talking about dodging bullets instead of dodging the amorous advances of a hot-to-trot detective who doesn’t know how to dress for work, and dumbly standing around waiting for the hot but deranged stripper he spent the day with, to shoot him in the head because he let the Detective Heidi come into the motel room and it was just supposed to be the two of them, before they set out for Mexico together?!? Yeah, Sam; stick with the “too many bullets flying around” angle and keep Abby in the dark about the rest of your trip.
Scenes from Suburban Hell Just how clueless do the kids have to be, to have NOT noticed their father standing around videotaping them all this time?
FC Now don’t you go and tell me that he’s not deliberately doing that.
Big Thyme
January 11th, 2009 at 7:00 am [Reply]

DT: Crimestoppers Textbook: Stop your paranoid handwringing about the people clearing your sidewalks and start worrying about letting freakish, inhuman strangers just wander into your home and shout about business opportunities for extended lengths of time. Particularly if your wife is a dimwitted sucker who frequently falls for the simplest scams. Oh, and try looking outside once in a while for nearby homes exploding, you rubes.
commodorejohn
January 11th, 2009 at 8:34 am [Reply]

#259 bats :[ – Actually, an afterlife spinoff starring Dixie would be…well, it’d be a hell of a lot better than watching Sam stumble blindly through yet another potentially cool situation without anything interesting happening, that’s for damn sure.

A3G – Oh, Margo. You’re just what I need to brighten my day after a week of the most boring temp job in the universe.

BrS – Good gravy. Why can’t Judge Parker get this kind of license?

Crankshaft – So, like the Discworld, the Winkerverse has common narrative tropes as actual laws of physics. But naturally, only the ones that cause the most misery.

Crock – …uh…um…er…

Curtis – …and…that’s…offensive? Huh?

DT – “Doctor Who?” “Yes, exactly.”

FC – Billy blames himself, but really it’s just Thel’s absolutely enormous, Blondie-caliber mammaries at fault for her back troubles.

FG – Hey, it’s the drop pod from Quake II!

FW – I’m torn. On the one hand, I’d much rather look at Golden Age comic covers than read Batiuk’s daily homage to misery and decay. But on the other, why is it called a comic strip if it’s just a cover gallery half the time!? Granted, this isn’t as bad as that huge glut of them we got back when the time-WTF had just kicked in, but for God’s sake, Batiuk, you’re not being paid to come up with one-panel Sundays that lead into something you didn’t even create.

GA – An open letter to Jim Scan/
Your rhymes are bad and do not scan/
And awful in no common measure/
“I found this book that gives me pleasure!?”

H&L – Ditto Flagston: attempted murderer.

JP – Please let Celeste be there. That dude in the Green Lantern shirt would be cool, too; at the very least, he’d be more interesting than Sam.

MW – Guest ballooning by Jack Elrod in panel one. Also, mollificent, any idea what that stringy music thing is?

PBS – is of course hilarious, but I’m wondering whether we’re actually seeing the last of the Guard Duck or not. It’s cool that he’s found love again, but on the other hand, he was pretty much my favorite minor character.

Pluggers – start their kids off with wood before moving on to flesh.

PV – Cripes, it’s one kaiju after another! It’s like the strip is being written specifically to make me giddy with happiness.

RMMD – Hah, booze! Also, I love the shading on June’s breasts in the final panel.

SF – That’s wonderful.

SFx – Oh, come on, Shady. Don’t you have cons to run? What’s with this petty-nuisance crap?

SM – “I just wanted to find a nice, open place to cream you!”
Amateur
January 11th, 2009 at 8:58 am [Reply]

MW: This is officially The Most Boring Conversation Ever. Frank must be hollering “LYNN!” just to keep himself awake.
Baka Gaijin
January 11th, 2009 at 9:06 am [Reply]

#267 commodorejohn: Stringed instrument in MW-It’s a poster of a guitar that’s painful to play. Much like reading this storyline.
commodorejohn
January 11th, 2009 at 9:10 am [Reply]

#269 Baka Gaijin – But it’s got four strings! Is it some sort of art deco banjo?
Baka Gaijin
January 11th, 2009 at 9:21 am [Reply]

#270 commodorejohn: The other strings left to get Mrs. Worth to come in and end this once and for all. I wish they’d run to Lio to get his comic-eating spider instead.
Talking Squirrel
January 11th, 2009 at 10:04 am [Reply]

BC: “I wonder if there’s a country called ‘Chicken’…”

I dunno, Billy. Read past the comix pages and you can prob’ly decide for yourself.

Judging by the motor skills you demonstrate in this morning’s strip, though, you better let your fingers do the walkin’. You ain’t got but one momma, son.
AeroSquid
January 11th, 2009 at 10:17 am [Reply]

MyCage: Josh CANNOT ignore this one. =)
Vince M
January 11th, 2009 at 10:33 am [Reply]

255: PBS – What you meen crocs not de good guyz???
John C Fremont
January 11th, 2009 at 10:45 am [Reply]

# 244 Joe Blevins – That was fun!

I’ve been puzzling over that instrument in Mary Worth as well. Looked all over that damnable collection of tubes and found all sorts of stuff, but nothing quite like it. Help us, mollificent, you’re our only hope.

MT – Did you ever wonder where the phrase “Never smile at a crocodile” came from, meaning it’s the Sandy Duncan episode of The Muppet Show?

SFx – Today’s “Your Drawing” is adorable. Sure, it appears to be a bunny in a toaster being sprinkled with rock salt, but it’s an adorable bunny in a toaster being sprinkled with rock salt!

RMMD – In panel 5, I think Arthur was replaced by a butter sculpture of someone planning to sell no wine before its time. I don’t know about the wine, but I think the butter sculpture is past it’s “sell by” date.

JP – Abbey’s undone a couple more buttons since yesterday. Things are looking up, so to speak.
John C Fremont
January 11th, 2009 at 10:48 am [Reply]

I’ve gotta work on this punctuation thing.
OnceWas
January 11th, 2009 at 11:01 am [Reply]

Hey Tess, I’ve got your ad campaign right here …

Tess presents “Traces of Dick”
a new line of cosmetics and cologne influenced by her unique relation with a police detective.
Angry Kem
January 11th, 2009 at 11:13 am [Reply]

That…musical thingy…in MW is baffling me as well. I’ve been leafing through my music dictionary, but I can’t find anything quite like it; if there exists a four-stringed guitar-like instrument with the sound-hole near the base and the tuning pegs way down the neck (unless those aren’t tuning pegs but rather metal bolts keeping the instrument fixed to the wall for eternity), with the strings continuing up past the tuning pegs, it is too obscure for the Harvard Concise Dictionary of Music. The closest I could find was the five-stringed chitarra battente, an older Italian variant on the guitar; there are some beautiful examples of it and its ancestors and descendants here. The…thingy…on Lynn’s wall looks somewhat like a guitar drawn by someone who has never seen a guitar.

FC: At first, I thought that Billy was deliberately hopping on every crack in an attempt to kill his mother. That would have made the strip much funnier, actually.
Rusty
January 11th, 2009 at 11:35 am [Reply]

#261: I’m right here. Having internet access brought shame on the Mark Trail family, and posting on this site has caused banishment from the strip.
papa zita
January 11th, 2009 at 11:53 am [Reply]

9CL: Oh, for chrissake. If I could do Franklin Pangborn expressing disgust in cold type I would do it right here.

MW: Frank goes all Bela Karolyi on his daughter in this tediously long argument. What I want to know is when does the abuse start?

Rex Morgan, Bartender: No food, but plenty of booze. Leatherface is happy, but her balding sweaty paramour is getting hungry, Guido better catch that long pork on the hoof tout suite.
bats :[
January 11th, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

265. True Fable re RMMD: yes, there wasn’t a whole lot going on in today’s panels, ~~aside from the sundress-puppy wrestling!~~.
Some folks are well and truly tired of the holidays, and yet I’m reminded of something:
The moon on those breasts, very neary unsheathed
gave the lustre of midday to twin objects beneath.

267. commodorejohn re RMMD: yeah, the shading is pretty top-notch. I might just have to stash this panel “for later”. I suspect that even if I when I get future attacks of masher’s block, dropping this little bombshell in will forgive a lot of things. Hell, interspersing it into the last three weeks’ of MW angst-O-rama couldn’t hurt!
And speaking of MW and the Instrument of Mystery in Lynn’s room: I think it’s a Vulcan something-or-other. Or maybe a Klingon cheese-knife.

279. Rusty: oh, Rusty…you’ll always have a home here. Or in a lifeboat on a Caribbean cruise-ship. Both which are vast improvements over the woodshed up in Lo Fo.
Lanfranc
January 11th, 2009 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

#278 Angry Kem: Yes, very much like the current story line which feels like a parent-teenager conflict as told by someone who never actually experienced one. It’s symbolic! (Or maybe it’s a grotesquely oversized ukulele.)

—-

Blondie: Unionize, Dagwood! Do not just passively accept the bourgeois oppression! You have only your chains to lose!

Crock: Hahaha, you silly soldiers. Every day is the same in the desert, and you will stay there for all eternity. Enjoy. ^_^

MW: ZZzzzzz……

Pluggers: …until the day when the bleak, repetitive, poverty-ridden reality of your life finally overwhelms you. Then you can think about pushing the other way.

RMMD: Of course an open bar is a hit. That ship is full of alchoholics.

S4th: Clever, but: A) “MIRV” is not a verb, and B) how many people actually know what it means?
Little Guy
January 11th, 2009 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

Big Nate:

Pickles: This is *not* the Sunday strip where I wanted to see buttons bursting from a shirt….

JP: … too few buttons.

Big Nate: Do not taunt Happy Fun Time Chester.

Curtis: This is the most amazing and captivating strip. LOL.

RwO: Loved it.

Blondie: One of these days, Mr Dithers is going to go too far and stop Dagwood from eating a sandwich in mid-chomp. The carnage will make Dixie’s demise pale beyond comparison.
Angry Kem
January 11th, 2009 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

#282: If that’s a ukulele, it’s a horrifying mutant ukulele, and someone should beat it over the head with a real ukulele until it is dead.

Also…I had to look “MIRV” up. It is clever, but it’s certainly not a verb.
Angry Kem
January 11th, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

P.S.: “Horrifying Mutant Ukulele” is a fantastic name for a band.
Alligator Dundee
January 11th, 2009 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: Hey! Mark seems to have gotten alligators and crocodiles mixed up. He’s talking about crocodiles all through today’s strip, but the animals in Florida are alligators. There are no crocs in Florida, except maybe stuffed in a museum somewhere. Crocodiles live in the rest of the world, but what we have in North America are alligators, you know, like the Florida Gators and Alligator Alley. Think of all those misguided children you have doomed to poor grades on their school science reports, Mark!

Mary Worth: This plot seems to be stuck in an endless loop. Someone give it a kickstart.

RMMD: How long until June and Sarah(?) get kidnapped and locked in a room by disgruntled crew members?
gleeb
January 11th, 2009 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

9CL: It always happens. Once they start screwing, they can’t fly.

Dick: Remember, Crimestoppers, trust no one, ever! How did this eyeless thing get into Tracy’s house? Snow shoveling.

Beetle: Some just take body parts; Sarge takes photos.

’shaft: Ed loves putting the ol’ curse on his daughter. What a horrible person. How I hate him.

: OK, we’ve got the basketball rivalry story; the related possible romance between Creepy Les and a woman who’s actually alive; Summer’s simmering love for thievin’ Cory Winkerbean; Cory’s thievin’ ways, and whether they’ll get worse; his father’s struggle to stop being a fat, cheap bastard; and finally, no one knows where Wally is or why his wife is married to grandma-swindling Comic Book John.

All of these narrative threads wait to be taken up. So we get this: a mock cover from the days when comics won their reputation for being for children and the child-like. No doubt the oil demon can only be defeated by wearing earplugs. What I’m saying is that Batiuk is really sloppy about starting stories and letting them drop. Sure, real life isn’t neat and episodic, but if I wanted real life, I’d turn to the front of the paper.

Sam Driver, jetlagged!: They held the election?

Mark: Can I tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? Look, when an 11-foot reptile is eating my leg, does its exact species matter? I see something like that, I’m going the other way.

Mary: Kantian ethix comix! Sponsored by coffee, the drink for when you’re going to be up all night arguing.

Rex: I know it’s supposed to be the yellow light from the dining salon, but it looks like June is smuggling a rubber duckie in her dress.

Slylock: Slylock knows that the garbage could bounce off of the front wall of the bed and then press against the tailboard, opening it. But he doesn’t like Shady.

Brenda: What? A falling out amongst the thieves and rogues? No one could have foreseen this!
commodorejohn
January 11th, 2009 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

#278 Angry Kem – Glad to know I’m not the only one baffled. I admit that my knowledge of obscure musical instruments is pretty much limited to sound expansions in Famicom cartridges, but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what that thing was supposed to be. It almost looks like someone tried to take Picasso’s Guitar and make a real instrument out of it.

#281 bats :[ – I can’t think of a single strip that couldn’t be improved by adding that panel.
commodorejohn
January 11th, 2009 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

#287 gleeb – What I’m saying is that Batiuk is really sloppy about starting stories and letting them drop.

“It’s called writing.”
sugarpie
January 11th, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

#281 Bats. I’m feeling so… relieved? disgusted? aroused? that I’m not the only one who saves a panel or two for later ‘use’.
sugarpie
January 11th, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

#281 Bats. I’m feeling so… relieved? disgusted? aroused? that I’m not the only one who saves a panel or two for later ‘use’.
Angry Kem
January 11th, 2009 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

To be fair, I would like to try to play that instrument on Lynn’s wall. I have this reaction every time I see a new instrument.
sugarpie
January 11th, 2009 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

#289 commodorjohn- Unbelievable! I kept reading on, waiting for the punchline. Im trying to think of other egos as monstous… Nicolai Ceausecescu? Jiang Qing? James Woods? Im stumped.
sugarpie
January 11th, 2009 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

Ceausescu
papa zita
January 11th, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

@278: I took it as some sort of antiquated bass guitar mounted on the wall (how else could it stand up otherwise?), but its lack of tuning pegs bothers me, as does the strings all going to the top of the headstock together. It might be an art piece. It might be painted on the wall for all I know.
Lanfranc
January 11th, 2009 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

#295: An art piece is a good theory. That could also explain why it’s apparently bolted to the wall. Maybe it’s a very expensive art piece.
mollificent
January 11th, 2009 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

MW: Sorry, guys, I’m pretty stymied here too. Um, it kinda looks like some sort of medieval lute? Drawn by a four-year-old. The body shape is pretty unlike anything I’ve seen…and what is with the tuning machines being halfway down the neck? WTF???

Yeah. Definitely drawn by someone who thought, “Hmmm…is this what those kids today are playing, with their Guitar Hero and such? I think I”ll look at some fourteenth-century woodcuts for inspiration. Oh, and crack. Lots of crack.”

(Oops, just noticed Angry Kem beat me to it. ;))
mollificent
January 11th, 2009 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

P.S. also re: MW: OK, everyone all together: “Christ, what an asshole!”
True Fable
January 11th, 2009 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

# 289 commodorejohn – RE: Tom Batuik’s blog : Christ, what an asshole.
mollificent
January 11th, 2009 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

FW: What. The. Hell???

MC: Haha, awesome. MW could sure use your intervention right about now, Ed!

RMMDDD: Oh, my. I believe no other word will suffice to describe the last panel but “Rack-tastic”!

Spider-Man: The biggest media whore since Richard Hatch.

9CL: *beats head against wall repeatedly*
Poteet
January 11th, 2009 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

# 286 Alligator Dundee — As a conservation geek who has winced at certain MT “nature facts,” I have to come to his defense in this case and say there really are crocodiles in Florida. They are not doing nearly as well as alligators and don’t make the news for occasionally eating dogs and scaring swimmers, but they are there. In limited numbers. More information can be found, etc.
buckyswife
January 11th, 2009 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

JP: I’ve been married for some time now, and my husband travels a lot for work, and our airport phone conversations are pretty much of this variety, too: “So, your flight’s on time? Because we have plans this evening. Okay, see ya.” But if the buckyhusband were to mention something about being caught in a hail of bullets, I still don’t think my response would be “Okay, we have plans this evening. See ya.” A) Abbey isn’t listening because she’s really thinking about whatever’s making her nipples so perky. B) Abbey doesn’t care. C) Abbey isn’t surprised because she knows Sam is dumb enough to stumble into a gunfight accidentally. or D) All of the above.

FC: I, too, thought that Billy was trying to step on cracks and thus kill his mother. Crack voodoo! (And I, too, liked that version better than the intended one.)

MW: I’m not so perplexed by the instrument as I am by its being bolted to the wall. Is this perhaps something else that Lynn took an interest in, and so Frank not only denied her this pleasure but taunted her by making it both visible and unattainable? If so, well played, sir.
Rusty
January 11th, 2009 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

FW, Pluggers, et al.: Enough with the price of gas/oil theme, it is at very low levels compared to this summer. I know comic writers have a 3 week lead time, but sheesh. If you want to be topical, reflect actual current events.
Angry Kem
January 11th, 2009 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

Well, Brooke, you’ve finally done it. The cello competition has been annoying, but with today’s comic, you’ve gone too far. You have, at long last, become a Jape.

I expect the Mary Worth artist simply figured that the strip would not be read by people who particularly cared about obscure pseudo-medieval instruments bolted to the wall. Mary Worth artist, we have proven you wrong.

I’m actually not sure that Billy isn’t trying to kill his mother. That last hop looks deliberate. And check out the evil little smile on his face. The golden-haired ones are always demon spawn.
Uncle Lumpy
January 11th, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

Frank: “Win the regionals or I’ll never unbolt the lute!”

Christ, what an asshole. Points for creative parenting, though.
bats :[
January 11th, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

Attention to those strips (yeah, I’m lookin’ at you, MW) that advance the plot in terms of geological time periods: If you want to keep the readership, keep something that interests the readers (arcane and possibly fourth-dimensional musical instruments notwithstanding):
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3188737966/

(sorry, you’ll have to size up)

(Yes, Poteet’s on the mark; there are some North American crocodiles in Florida — I was stymied to learn this. Then again, I’m not keen on anything that would eat you as soon as look at you…I’m stickin’ to the rattlesnakes here. Mark’s crocs are a little too snub-nosed and gator-like, I think.)
queek
January 11th, 2009 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

the Sunday MC was full of win.

PV proves, yet again, that you can never depend on a NPC to make a perception roll. (or, if you’re Belkar, even if you ARE a PC. ” I think I just failed a Spot check.”)
Poteet
January 11th, 2009 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

DT — “Introducing our new square-chinned manly aftershave — Dickhead! For the man who wants nostrils to twitch when he walks by.”

9CL — If Brooke had written SOUTH PACIFIC, Nellie Forbush would have drowned herself in the Pacific as she sang “I’m In Love With A Wonderful Guy.”
Calvinball Forever!
January 11th, 2009 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

#279: Hey Rusty! Um…are you sure you exist? (See #262.)

Also…you’re pretty damn creepy. You look like a killer puppet. I’m just sayin’…
Annon
January 11th, 2009 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

Curtis I don’t get it…Dad thinks Curtis is ending his responses with what sounds to him like “owl”? And that’s why everything’s a hoot? Well, slap me some skin, you hep cat.
Uncle Lumpy
January 11th, 2009 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

#309 CF –

Whether or not Rusty exists, he’s way behind in his blog posts. Though as he wisely puts it, “. . . there are few matters less pressing than Mark Trail.”
Poteet
January 11th, 2009 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

Monday Spoilers

ReFoob. Theme: Michael gives an early demonstration of his ghastly uncommand of the English langurage. Characters: Michael, Deanna. I say: And yet this early atrocity is still better than those excerpts from his putrid novels.

Luann. Theme: Looking forward to the D.C. field trip. Characters: Delta and Miss Phelps. I say: Brad, GrinBoy, and Toni won’t be going, and that’s good enough for me. Hooray for the field trip.
Dr. Weird
January 11th, 2009 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

Today’s Luann:

Who would have given a teenage girl the Xmas gift of a top that was open all the way to the navel? Certainly not her family. Was it Bernice? She’s smiling at the garment in question, perhaps picturing Luann wearing it.
Islamorada Girl
January 11th, 2009 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

123 was me. Drat those clean cookies!
Poteet
January 11th, 2009 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

# 312 — Language, arrgh. Sorry. I blame Michael, whose horrid words unnerved me. I suspect this strip is not in the original canon, and if that’s true, why would Lynn want him to reveal his lack of writing ability so soon?
commodorejohn
January 11th, 2009 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

#313 Dr. Weird – I dunno, maybe it was Gunther. It certainly does share some similarities with that “sexy witch” ~~fetish outfit~~ costume he made for her.
Poteet
January 11th, 2009 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

Some time ago, a couple of kindly Mudges told me how to do italics and changed my life. I would like to change my life again by learning how to cross out words. If someone would kindly post the instructions, I will copy them and practice in secret until I am proficient, and will be very grateful.
Muffaroo
January 11th, 2009 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

Poteet, it’s the “strike” command. Works about the same.
Islamorada Girl
January 11th, 2009 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

I mean 132, I think.
Angry Kem
January 11th, 2009 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

Further to Muffaroo’s “strike” revelation: if you ever need to find out how someone has done something fun with html, click on “Page Source” in the “View” menu (or hit Ctrl+U)…unless you are using a Mac, of course. Then I don’t know what the hell you can do.
Spunky N. Tadpole
January 11th, 2009 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

@ #17 Poteet:

Use the “caret” brackets ; like you do for italics. but instead of the “i” and “/i”; put “strike” and “/strike” inside before and after the text you want to line out and it should ~~completely screw up~~ come out like this.
commodorejohn
January 11th, 2009 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

#321 Spunky N. Tadpole – You mean <strike>like this?</strike>
Spunky N. Tadpole
January 11th, 2009 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

# 322: commodorejohn:

Yes, just like that.

Except you’ve either taken the time to actually figure out how to get all the brackets and stuff to show in the comments, or knew it in the first place.

Never mind, I’ll go back to lurking now….
sugarpie
January 11th, 2009 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

~~I was wondering if you can combine the two~~ You all have taught me alot. Thanks!
commodorejohn
January 11th, 2009 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

#323 Spunky N. Tadpole – It’s another HTML trick; instead of actually using the < and > characters, use the symbol codes < and >

Anybody trying to figure out how to make slick, professional-looking comments should check out the HTML section of W3 Schools; it’s really not particularily complicated.
sugarpie
January 11th, 2009 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

Though, why would I want to? Back to lurking also.
sugarpie
January 11th, 2009 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

#326 I dont mean why would I want to in response to commodorejohn in #325 I meant in response to my italics and strike post in #324. Sorry cj! Oh for God’s sake, I am leaving now.
KT
January 11th, 2009 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

RMMD:
June: “CRUMBS! you were right, Sarah!”
Sarah: “Penfold, shush!”
dyslexic dog
January 11th, 2009 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

#306 — bats :[
I sized up all right…
KT
January 11th, 2009 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

Oh hey, people are talking about key signatures.

If I recall from my music theory class, there’s really no such thing as the key of G#, but if there were it would have six sharps and a double sharp (transposing F up to G for the leading tone under the tonic, G#).

I suppose you could cheat and use G# minor, which is equivalent to B major and has five sharps.
Poteet
January 11th, 2009 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

~~is this actually going to work~~ It worked! It worked! Thank you thank you thank you!
Poteet
January 11th, 2009 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

~~Oh joy, from now on I’ll think of lots of comments that require this!~~ I will use this wonderful new ability sparingly and with discretion, of course. Thanks again!
Paul1963
January 12th, 2009 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

Talking Squirrel @243: There wasn’t a recurring “Fuel Gibbons” strip in CARtoons. It was a one-shot strip that happened to feature a character called “Fuel Gibbons.”
The main recurring strips at the time were George Trosley’s “Krass and Bernie” and “Hogg Ryder,” whose creative team I can’t recall at the moment. “Unk and Them Varmints” was long gone, although they did rerun one after the artist was killed in an accident.

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