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Metapost: Slightly delayed comments of the week

Sorry to be a bit behind on the CsOTW this week … and you’ll have to wait a few more moments too because I have a few Items Of Interest to share:

First, faithful reader Gilgameshuggah sent me an old Mad magazine article featuring many classic comics artists … it’s too big to legibly reproduce on the blog, but click here for the full-sized graphic.

Next, thrill to the latest and greatest installment of Protectors of the Earth: Weekend Edition!

And, finally, perhaps you’ll enjoy this article from the Newark Star-Ledger about one young man’s unhealthy obsessions with Slylock Fox.

And now, without further ado … the COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“‘Fast and easy’ is his motto? Does it appear in Latin on the Confey family crest, with fleurs-de-lis surrounding a stupid little mustache?” –Windier E. Megatons

And the funny runners-up:

“Mary Worth has relatives? I sort of just assumed she was spawned at the creation of the universe to serve as a counterpoint to God.” –Black Drazon

“If I am traveling in India and a 5 year old walks up to me with a 5 foot long cigarette, lights it, sets it on the ground, and proceeds to stare at me with soulless, beady eyes, I can assure you I will be menaced right back to the nearest embassy.” –sak

“Today’s [JP] episode could use one of those helpful narration boxes: Sam and Randy sit on the stairs and chat! Sam is the one on the left!” –Mooncattie

“‘I’ll get on the web and see if I can pin down this bug!’ sez Rex Morgan, M.D, ‘and by web I mean Second Officer Guido Tomas, and by bug I mean his hot sweaty man self, and by pin down well, I mean, pin down. I’m done here. Where’s the web?’” –Bootsy

“The only way to really tell if that is Judge Parker is to keep reading and see how long those three minutes take. My guess is halfway into the Johnson administration.” –Aging Hipster

“Martin seems supremely uncomfortable in that last panel. Should have gone for a better fitting human-suit, man.” –Ben

That can not be Margo’s father. He has no horns, no tail, no glowing eyes, and isn’t covered in the blood of children. I would have accepted any one of those as proof of paternity for Margo, but I won’t accept looking vaguely like Clark Kent and claiming to ‘love’ Margo, because we all know that only Margo is capable of loving Margo.” –Alan’s Addiction

“Could there ever be such a thing as too many tears, if one lived in the Keane household?” –Donald the Anarchist

“And unpop that collar, young lady! I didn’t raise you, but if I had, you can rest assured it would have been with an ounce of fashion se–what? Electric blue suit? I don’t know, some guy in the hallway told me I had to wear this color, or I wouldn’t be allowed to appear in your apartment.” –Lithros

“I know we’re supposed to suspend reality to appreciate the light-hearted humor in the comics, but the stack of wood next to Marmaduke’s doghouse is just too ridiculous. A dog with gastronomical tendencies such as his would obviously heat his house by burning the bones of his human victims.” –The Dead Acorn

“Well, of course they’re going to adopt — Ken has had some problems with his ‘business’. Frustrating problems.” –Mike Kelly

“I see Josh’s relationship with Mark Trail, the strip, going along a similar path as that of Patty and Ken’s. Sure, the strip has abused Josh’s morals through its outdated chauvinist ideas, but pretty soon there’s going to be a day where Mark’s punching a dude with muttonchops as a moose makes a threatening proclamation in the middle panel, and Josh’ll just sniff and quietly mutter ‘Oh Mark — I could never stay mad at you.’ I’m not sure what the baby the two will adopt together is. I’d … I’d rather not go there.” –DigitalGonzo

“I have suffered agonies of shame in the past year or so over the extent to which I have allowed Luann to manipulate my facile curiosity. I have grudgingly permitted myself to speculate on how the children at the library would react to Luann’s slutty witch costume. I have resentfully checked in to witness Toni’s response to Brad’s nudist resort invitation. I am even a little annoyed that I still don’t know whether Elwood actually is a multimillionaire. But today I have found some measure of redemption in the fact that apparently no power of man or god can compel me to give the remotest suggestion of a shit about TJ.” –Violet

“Ken had some problems in his business and he was taking them out on Patty … surely a screaming child swaddled in dirty diapers will becalm him!” –Dagger

“Those of you who want to hold Jack Elrod’s balls to the fire may find some comfort in the knowledge that Mark has beat you to it, in panel 2.” –seismic-2

“There hasn’t been a smirk or pun in Crankshaft in over two weeks … who knew death could be this enjoyable?” –Hammertime

“Because if Margo sees as much as a single olive on her pizza, millions upon millions will die.” –Lolsworth

“I wonder how much of the weirdnesses on the comics page are, like the AGLU3000, shoutouts to some other blog or even less penetrable in-group. Maybe Rusty’s memory card is a sidesplitting in-joke from some usenet forum, and the bizarre dialogue in Mary Worth is all made up of anagrams of conversations on FurryMUCK.” –Aviatrix

A3G’s go-to gag: ‘Ha ha, Tommie’s spirit is broken again!’ Seriously, look how despondent she is. You just want to … well, not give her a hug … or … not … console her slightly, or … you … ha ha, Tommie’s spirit is broken again!” –Dragon of Life

“Oh, by the way, if it weren’t dead already, the word ‘ginormous’ is now officially dead as a slang expression by virtue of being used by an A3G character. Perhaps this strip serves as ginormous’s funeral, which is why Tommie is wearing her ceremonial white Snuggie.” –Joe Blevins

“Dust
Vacuum
Mop
Clean
Bathroom
Olives
Die Unloved” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“These ‘drawn from life’ characters like Gertie and the cook here creep me out. It’s because I imagine myself dying, then waking up as a character in Gasoline Alley. To avert this horror, I have arranged to be buried alive.” –Uncle Lumpy

“I’m also pretty sure the current Mary Worth no longer qualifies as an ‘unfolding tragedy.’ That Valentino mustache, his horrible cover story, all the clumsy ‘I’m broke’ screw ups … Ted is desperately trying to warn her that he’s about to rob her. Yet Adrian ignores all these obvious calls for help and instead brags about the size of her bank account. Clearly, she’s an enabler. I just hope she has the decency to apologize to Ted when he gets gored by a maddened, vengeful deer in the aftermath.” –Strangefate

“Tommie’s greeting (‘Joe?’) indicates that she is as confused by all the bland lookalike men in her life as we are.” –gnemec

I give prodigious thanks to those who put some money in my tip jar — you know who you are! I’d also thank our advertisers … if there were any who bought BlogAds ads, and who thus get thanked every week! Sadly, there aren’t any this week — maybe next week I’ll be thanking you! To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

18 responses to “Metapost: Slightly delayed comments of the week”

  1. ladadog
    March 17th, 2009 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Very funny CsOTW, enjoy the float ride, humorists. Well done.
    In the meantime, I found myself actually tickled that the colorists of Mary Worth remembered it’s St. Patrick’s Day. But, do they know that green is the color of hope, and, as everyone knows, there is a sign saying “Abandon Hope All Ye who Enter Here” above the front door of Mary Worth’s lair?

  2. tb4000
    March 17th, 2009 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Luann: So the MILF DeGroot wants the walls painted black again….I suppose after a night of eightballs off of hooker’s stomachs she’s wanting to swing by TJ’s pad, now illuminated by a blacklight and velvet posters, and finally discover why he’s called the Italian Stallion.

  3. Vermillion
    March 17th, 2009 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Funny funny COTW! Thanks for making me laff!

  4. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 17th, 2009 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    St Patty’s Day

    Congratulations to Windier E. Megatons (fun to say aloud) et al.

    DtM: Menace? No. Stronger personality than his dad? Almost certainly, yes.

    Blondie: Dagwood’s favorite eatery is ground zero for a new cholera epidemic. Maybe there can be a crossover with Rex Morgan. If there are any cute boys involved, at least.

    JP: Through titanic effort, Abbey manages not to snicker as she compliments Sophie’s new look.

    S-M: You realize, of course, that if Drunky the Driver hear takes Electro’s son inside the ER, that will be more than Spidey bothered to do for his own aunt.

    M-DAwg: So the Winslows have totally given up on keeping Marmaduke out of their bed. Or Dottie actually wants him there, but my mind blinks out at that point.

    MC: So Lost is a hit on Norm’s world as well. I’m guessing that the big difference is that Matthew Fox is really… Well, you know.

    9CL: Please let Mark’s full statement be, “Um, don’t you have anything better to do than toil over your self-absorbed roommate;s wedding plans? ” Or better yet, “Um, please have some self respect.”

    A3G: It’s so awkward when you drop in to visit your girlfriend and your secret lover is there as well.

    DT: Finally seeing the casino owner, it looks like Dick will get a chance to plug Captain Renault from Casablanca.

    Tracy2: How nice. B. O. Plenty is picking up after someone’s German Shepherd.

    Marvin: Jenny decided that she didn’t want a heavy ceramic bowl to fall on her son’s head. It tooik a lot of agonizing thought and soul-searching.

    oBH: The infection spreads.

    MT: It is a sad, sad criminal conspiracy that can be derailed by a picture on Rusty’s Flickr page. Just turn yourselves in now, boys. There’s no hope.

  5. The Dead Acorn
    March 17th, 2009 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Congrats to all, and to Josh as well for earning “Comment Of The Day” honors from The Bloggess. Saliva-less raccoons, indeed.

  6. Eau de Plugger
    March 17th, 2009 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    That Mad magazine spread is fantastic! I have a lot more respect for Mell Lazarus now despite the oedipal nightmare that is Momma.

  7. commodorejohn
    March 17th, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    A3G – Oh, that’s how you can tell them apart: Gary and his blue jacket are slightly more desaturated.

    A.D. – Had this strip been colored, the monkeys would doubtless have made the banner yellow.

    DTM – I guess the syndicate has updated Dennis The Menace for those kids today and their emo-angsty-whatsit. Does cutting count as menacing?

    DT – Man, Vincent Price really would appear in anything.

    FW – Ha ha! It’s funny because the old man is no longer able to enjoy the things he loves except by endless, obsessive scribbling on paper! Ha ha! I’ll bet his marriage is going to crack under the strain! Ha ha ha!

    GA – The thing that really kind of unnerves me is that their clothing is loose and wrinkled, while their fleshy bulk is baby-smooth. Not that I particularily want realistic fat-person renderings, but…what are they made of?

    GF – Okay, you know what, Get Fuzzy has become Garfield from about 1989. So long, strip.

    GT – You may as well stay, lady. You’re already developing Milfordian anatomy, what with that overextended neck and vampire-mime face.

    HTH – I’m pretty sure when Mallard Fillmore beats you to a joke, you’re required to end your comic.

    JP – Okay, as a desperate attempt to not look at Sophie’s hilariously stupid outfit, I’m trying to figure out the geometry of Abbey’s breasts in panel one. I see the left one about where you’d expect it (in Parkerland, anyway,) but what about the right? Either it’s that projection on her upper abdomen, or…okay, I have no idea what is going on there. I suppose everyone has their bad days, but come on, Baretto, this is almost Thorpian. Did the stripes throw you off your game?

    Love Is… – I’m not touching this one.

    Luann – I give up. Trying to figure these people out is like trying to follow the plot in Dick Tracy.

    Marmaduke – What was he doing…in…OH GOD MY BRAIN

    MT – Okay, is this the most awesomely convoluted Mark Trail setup ever, or what? I know it’s a little much to hope that it leads into Home Alone-style hijinks-maulings as it seems like it ought to, but still, “escaped convicts want to steal Rusty’s camera” is just the dumbest premise I can recall. And in a strip where divorced men save ducks they’ve named after their ex-wives, that’s saying something.

    MW – Oh Jesus, she does look like E.T. *shudder* *whimper*

    NAOQV – You just better not diss LazyTown.

    PBS – Oh, this is awesome.

    Phantom – Guest onomatopoeia by Lynn Johnston.

    Pluggers – Pluggers are obsessive hoarders.

    Popeye – Wow, when did Popeye become the Man? Time was, he was blithely ignoring the curfew enforced by Bluto and the Commodore (the movie, 1980.) Now he’s enforcing the same thing on others. The rebels of today become the establishment of tomorrow, I guess.

    RMMD – I found Waldo!

    SF – Oh, I’d actually completely forgotten about this subplot.

    SM – <voice=”Joel Hodgson”>*crack* Augh! My spine! *crack*</voice>

  8. buckyswife
    March 17th, 2009 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Excellent CsOTW–congrats!

    See, now that’s the humor I was missing last week!

  9. Larry McAwful
    March 17th, 2009 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    6. Eau de Plugger – I surprise myself when I think of respect I have for previous incarnations of Mell Lazarus and Johnny Hart, among others. Their strips used to be brilliant, and these cartoonists were once cutting edge. Hard to believe now, but it’s true.

    Having seen the train wrecks of comic strips kept alive by zombie spells, there’s a group of cartoonists who either retire their strips when they feel worn out, or who say they want to. Bill Watterson, Berke Breathed, Bill Amend and Stephan Pastis come to mind; I’m sure there are others. The fact that Mutt & Jeff, Blondie and B.C. still stalk the comics pages alongside Charles Schulz’s dead hand retracing everything he drew in life is testimony that cartoonists who don’t believe in zombie comics have a moral obligation to say so while they’re still in their right minds.

    They’ve revived L’il Abner, haven’t they? I wonder how Al Capp, who retired the strip while still alive in 1977, would feel about that…

  10. Lolsworth
    March 17th, 2009 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Yay I am in the list again I RULE.

  11. Poteet
    March 17th, 2009 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    Hip hip hooray for all you funny winners, particularly Windier E. Megatons! This week I am especially grateful to be given a second chance to read some funniness that I missed the first time around.

  12. Windier E. Megatons
    March 17th, 2009 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    I am most flattered to receive COTW designation for a second time, especially considering that there were some really funny ones this week. Float on!

  13. tbiggs
    March 17th, 2009 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Truly, there were at least five comments which could have been COTW on a slow week. Tough choice!

  14. Gold-Digging Nanny
    March 17th, 2009 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Awesome comments! Congratulations, everyone!

  15. Anonymous
    March 17th, 2009 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    Pleaseohpleaseohplease, Bob Weber, Jr., send a signed Slylock to Crosby in Newark! You knew how ape-poop we got at the March Meetup in Tucson with those…who knows how Crosby will react?

  16. Hank Kimble
    March 17th, 2009 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    Sorry to say, I’m 50, and I used to feel that why about Slylock until the Indianapolis Star cancelled it. I wanted to organize one of those Samantha Stevens “Bewitched” protest outside of their offices. Unfortunately I was the only one, adult or child who participated!

  17. Ben
    March 18th, 2009 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    That MAD spread IS great.

    Another comic that should have been retired long ago?

  18. injection molding
    June 18th, 2009 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    Hello everyone here!!!

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