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Sunday quickies

Mark Trail, 3/22/09

Is this more Mark Trail misogyny? “Hey fellas, when these ‘roly-poly’ liberated broads want you to help with the kids, it sure does cut into your ‘extracurricular activities,’ amiright? By the way, these feminist grub-eating freaks are the ‘bald eagles of New Zealand,’ which tells you all you need to know about New Zealand. USA NUMBER 1!”

Blondie, 3/22/09

“Emily Armful”? “Clint Brawny”? I … I think that Dagwood and Blondie spent New Years at some kind of adult film industry event. I suppose that would be a particularly lucrative market for a caterer to try to break into.

Judge Parker, 3/22/09

In the final panel of today’s Judge Parker, we learn that this whole “changing my image and trying out for the cheerleading squad” routine has been a smokescreen; Sophie apparently intends to get her revenge on the popular girls who wronged her by simply murdering them. In fact, she’s so pleased with herself that she’s broken out into a little disco dance routine. “My en-e-mies won’t be stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive…”

141 responses to “Sunday quickies”

  1. The Ghost of Jarrod
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    It’s got to be weird to live in the Judgeiverse; hasn’t Sophie aged seven years in just one week of comic time?

  2. Mars
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    Look at Brenda Starr. For a newspaper office hit with the reality of intense downsizing, why is everyone so HAPPY? Why is that fat man so jolly as he’s packing up his supplies in a cardboard box? Why does Brenda seem to be taking glee in losing her friends and gaining more work?

    I don’t get it.

  3. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    Next time a memory strikes me as funny, I plan on saying the word “chuckle”.

  4. Carly
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    “The kiwi is to NZ what the bald eagle is to America” …but thankfully we don’t call ourselves Bald Eagles. That just doesn’t have a great ring to it.

  5. Sunny Paris
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    Blondie has gotten SO busty in the sixth panel that she actually needs Dagwood’s help to walk.

    Seriously, how does a caterer cook with those things? A gas stove top would set them on fire every time.

  6. Miss Moxie
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    I am SO GLAD I’m not the only one who was reading today’s Mark Trail in a way that I’m hoping was entirely unintentional. It’s pretty horrifically hilarious now, at least.

  7. nerowolfgal
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    JP – “You can let me out in front of the school Sam”

    I hate it when kids call their parents by their first names. She couldn’t say “Dad”?

    “Don’t call me Aunt! That is a word for a relative, and relatives are proof of sex!” ( quote from BlackAdder)

    I guess though sweater puppies abound, no one wants proof of sex in the Judge Parker world.

  8. Pint of Ale
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    #5 Sunny Paris: Your scenario reminds me of Mrs. Doubtfire.

  9. He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    FC: Are we surprised Dolly is years behind her peers and will never be functionally literate? Especially considering after this admission to finding a book interesting she will be hit repeatedly with the Good Book.

  10. Brock Sampson
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    #5: I noticed poor Blondie’s plight right away also. Because I’m, um, worried about her health. Yeah, that’s the ticket…

  11. Josh
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    #7 nerowolfgal — While Sophie is undeniably sassy and disrespectful, she and Neddie were in fact adopted by Sam and Abbey at more or less their current ages, so it’s actually kind of understandable that they aren’t mom-ing and dad-ing them. This took place about a decade ago in real time, I think, which is obviously only about a month and a half in in-strip time.

    Josh

  12. Patrick
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    It’s almost April; I suspect Dagwood has just finished fantasizing about the buffet at that New Year’s Eve party and has finally moved onto other events that happened that night.

    In the meantime, Blondie has been railing Clint Brawny every afternoon since.

  13. Joe Blevins
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    Dear Lord! When did the ghost of Al Capp take over drawing duties on Blondie? And speaking of Blondie, I realize the penultimate silent panel is one of comicdom’s most notable cliches, but here it really shows the brutal politics at work in a bad marriage. Note how Blondie remains silent, lulling her husband/enemy into a false sense of security. And just as he’s about to fall asleep in blissful ignorance… BAM!

  14. Little Guy
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    PV: Dangerously close to KenAndPatty apologist territory, but only if Aleta and Valiant say that they reacted because Camelot’s economy is in the crapper.

  15. Deena in OR
    March 22nd, 2009 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone else find the new Wii “My Sims, House Party” commercial completely disgusting?

  16. Rusty
    March 22nd, 2009 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    So Sophie is going to wow them at school by appearing to have entered menopause?

  17. Mibbitmaker
    March 22nd, 2009 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    I read Mark Trail differently. I think that Jack Elrod somehow knew that the last storyline in the dailies was beyond misogynist and offensive to women (to all human beings, really) and wanted to even things up. Thus he found a fact of nature that starts out feminist but becomes misandrist. Perfect Sunday Nature Lesson!

    So, really, Elrod gave himself the opportunity to be cruel to both genders (though not equally; the human women still get it worse overall) individually. In other words, Jack Elrod has become Lynn Johnston!

    (I don’t think he meant anything by the “roly-poly” remark. That just happens to be how female kiwi are made, apparently. The admittedly unfortunate choice of term here certainly wasn’t considered a bad thing in Donovan’s “Hurdy Gurdy Man”)

  18. Bobdog
    March 22nd, 2009 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    Sophie seems to be pointing at the word “transformation” from way back in the third panel as she says “that’s the plan” — which is an interesting post modern-ish was of breaking the fourth wall — it’s as though she is telling her audience directly that she plans to transform the other cheerleaders … but transform them into what?

  19. The Spectre
    March 22nd, 2009 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

  20. commodorejohn
    March 22nd, 2009 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    #18 Bobdog – Certain Internet subcultures could probably tell you that.

  21. Poteet
    March 22nd, 2009 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

    JP — I’m glad that Sophie is going to start paying attention to the most important aspect of school, instead of wasting time on studies the way she used to do.

  22. geoff
    March 22nd, 2009 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail can kiss my kiwi ass.

  23. Ukulele Ike
    March 22nd, 2009 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    Kiwi? Isn’t that a sort of roly-poly fruit?

  24. George Grady
    March 22nd, 2009 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

    “The only bird known to have a keen sense of smell”?!? Mark Trail, you’ve let me down. New world vultures of the genus Cathartes are also known to have an excellent sense of smell.

  25. Mister Beautiful
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    Clint Brawny. Dash Riprock. Biff Steel. Bolt Upright. These were the studs of Mammoth Studios, Burbank, back in the day.

  26. yellojkt
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    Sophie is going to teach those Heathers a lesson. I can’t wait until the “I love my dead gay son.” scene.

  27. jdgpkr
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    I’m glad Sophie has actually grown up.. This shoudl be interesting to see how she stands up to the other girls in school.. Go Sophie!

  28. Frank Parsnip
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: Oh sure, Blondie only still gets work in the “busty MILF” videos and Tijuana bibles, but if you think Dagwood is going to have a sleepless night, wait ’til he hears where she was kissing Mike Oxapoppin “by mistake”.

  29. Zorro
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    #13 – Al Capp wishes his girls looked like Blondie. She’s so enormously stacked she makes Daisy Mae and Moonbeam look like a couple of flatchested schoolgirls. I imagine Emily Armful must have an enormous rack, with a name like that, but she can’t possibly measure up to Blondie.

  30. Sheila Sternwell
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone’s newspaper still carry the old strip “The Born Loser”? I haven’t seen that in ages.

  31. Spoon
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    I feel this is the only place on the Internet that will fully appreciate this.

    I was talking to my mom about Macabre Games Children Play — light as a feather, stiff as a board, etc. She said that she and her friends used to do that thing where you look in the bathroom mirror and say a name three times with the lights off.

    The name they said? “Mary Worth.”

    Thank you, fellow curmudgeons. I knew you’d understand.

  32. BigTed
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    Clint Brawny and Emily Armfull are scions of a paper-towel and baking-soda fortune, respectively. Blondie and Dagwood came up with a plan to seduce them on purpose, because, frankly, there’s nothing more important to either of the Bumsteads than a clean kitchen and an inviting refrigerator.

  33. Captain Insano
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    Great Googly Moogly! Of all the things I expected when I turned to the comics page this morning (and I didn’t expect much), the last thing would have to be some lesbian action in Blondie.

    Sheesh. Where’s Cookie (preferably in bikini) when you need her?

  34. Sarah
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    Personally, I read Mark Trail as a thinly veiled reference to Jack Elrod’s repeated romantic failures and sham of a marriage. *shrug*

    And I can’t wait until Sophie’s 18 and her rack is bustin’ out all over the funny pages like all her other strip-mates. Heh. Strip.

    #31 – Yes, the News-Gazette still carries it. And yes, my local newspaper is called the News-Gazette. Ah, the trusty ol’ news-newspaper.

  35. Digger
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    Dagwood is so obsessed with the Emily Armfull kiss that he’s getting himself an armful with his pillow as he sleeps. Frankly, I don’t think Blondie was ever kissed by Clint Brawny. I think she just said that in order to snap Dagwood out of his nocturnal pillow orgy before things went too far.

  36. apomixis
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    I dunno…names like Dagwood and Blondie Bumstead (nee Boopadoop) make one wonder if there hasn’t been another sideline all along…

  37. Sarah
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    #33, please point me to the hot lesbian action so I can be properly titillated.

  38. Johan
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    Actually, I think Sophie’s finger pointing is merely a distraction, while with her other hand she goes for her sword, ala the Blade movies… maybe around the time they make Blade 17 she’ll actually get it out of her jacket?

  39. Uncle Lumpy
    March 22nd, 2009 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    #30 Sheila S. –

    The Born Loser.

  40. Ignatz
    March 22nd, 2009 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    It’s a shoe polish!

    No, it’s a fruit!

    No, it’s a bird!

    No, it’s someone who everyone thinks is Australian, but isn’t!

    Thank you, Jack Elrod.

  41. One-eyed Wolfdog
    March 22nd, 2009 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    Dag’s so caught up in his anecdote, he doesn’t even notice that Blondie’s left knocker has absorbed his arm nearly to the shoulder. Perhaps we are witnessing a unique form of symbiosis? I imagine two plump and opportunistic little creatures from Globulon V, staying warm and well-fed in Blondie’s sweater, periodically oozing digestive enzymes and leeching off Dagwood’s unwanted poundage so he can remain eternally thin despite his own uncontrollable appetite.

  42. bats :[
    March 22nd, 2009 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Is it correct to refer to New Zealand as “the land down under,” too? Or is it “to the east of the land down under”?
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3377193827/sizes/o/

  43. Smokehouse
    March 22nd, 2009 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    Which one of them is saying “it’s amazing what a new hairstyle and a little makeup can do”? I guess it’s Sophie, but I like to imagine it’s Sam saying it in a shocked way, as if he’s thinking “Jesus, I didn’t think anything could help THAT face.”

  44. Smokehouse
    March 22nd, 2009 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    @ #30 – my paper still runs the Born Loser on Sundays.

  45. Black Drazon
    March 22nd, 2009 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    Now the surface meaning of Blondie is that Blondie is getting back at her husband for dwelling on something that bothers her. The real venom is lurking in the subtext, of course, where we realize she’s been stiffling his cuckolding fantasy (mentioned a few weeks ago) by keeping him out of the loop.

  46. sugarpie
    March 22nd, 2009 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    #42 bats :[ Haw Haw Haw! *sigh* I feel guilty- not having to pay for access to your mashups! I nearly choked on my spoonful of breakfast Nutella at “ok, but I need a hug” in RMMD! signed your devoted fuzzball, sugarpie

  47. Black Drazon
    March 22nd, 2009 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    So Sophie has gained another year or so since we saw her last, and is undergoing her coming of age story: where she defines her own style, confronts the girls at school with her presence, and captures tiny demons in her purse and gets them to say her lines for her while she applies her makeup. Sam, fully aware that this can only end in her turning into another one of the strip’s buxom pinups, oversees the transition with a look of intensest ennui.

  48. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 22nd, 2009 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    I’m curious. Apparently Sam is not Sophie’s father. So what happened to her dad? Was he murdered in prison for gluing the wrong guy’s jumpsuit to his cot?

  49. Mac
    March 22nd, 2009 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    Sheila S. — I haven’t seen that strip in ages, either, but I actually know someone who has multiple signed original Born Loser strips. Sad, really.

  50. Moss_Moses
    March 22nd, 2009 at 11:29 pm [Reply]

    Mibbitmaker, I’m impressed that you know the word for man-hater (misandrist). Everyone knows misogynist but no one knows that one. What does that say about gender bias?

  51. bats :[
    March 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    As opposed to a misanthrope, who hates mankind in general. Equal-opportunity hater, and all that…

  52. Dr. Weird
    March 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    50 Moss_Moses

    Many people think that “misanthrope” is the opposite of misogynist, even though it refers to hating man as in mankind, not the male gender.

    Extra credit: Is NS’s Wiley a misanthrope or a misandrist, based on today’s strip?

  53. Poteet
    March 22nd, 2009 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    # 31 Spoon — Brace yourself:-).

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloody_Mary_(folklore)

  54. Mrs. McEelfish
    March 22nd, 2009 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    I’m a misanthorp myself.

  55. Poteet
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    3/23 MW — I looked at Adrian’s expression in the second panel and howled with gleeful laughter and schadenfreude. HAHAHA!

    Suddenly I realize the comics are revealing what a mean person I really am.

  56. Dave
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    Just what we needed. A Dagwood version of Eyes Wide Shut.

  57. Alan's Addiction
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    Do you suppose that the “person X kissed me, but s/he wasn’t you, dear” banter of Blondie is a quiet, desperate cry from both of them that they want a freaky, swinging, open marriage? Or is it a symptom that their relationship is starting that decades-long slide into the marital horror of The Lockhorns? Is this Blondie and Dagwood’s last civil conversation before they spend their remaining years on this planet in an all-out attempt to psychologically destroy one another? One can only hope. One can also only hope that they “keep the nuclear option on the table” while they bicker.
    I don’t know what this impostor strip is, but it’s not Judge Parker. I know that because there are no scantily clad women, nor men discussing inanely trivial details of their latest lucrative career ventures. We all know those are the only two themes allowed in the Judge Parker strip.

  58. Poteet
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    3/23 RMMD — Ye gods, little Fatface Curlytop has finally been located and he STILL is in hiding. How many more days must we endure this? I enjoyed the Rime of the Ancient Mariner a helluva lot more, and even when their ship was becalmed, things moved along a helluva lot faster.

  59. bats :[
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    A few Monday observations:

    A3G: oh, finally Tommie’s last name is revealed: Doormat.

    JP: judging from the reaction of the girl in the car behind Sam’s, Sophie and her friends attend the state school for the Deaf and Blind.

    Mutts: and yet, it’s still funnier than when Billy substitutes for Big Daddy Bil in FC.

    Phantom: pretty darn creepy cool!

  60. bats :[
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    55. Poteet: yeah, what the hell is that all about?

    In Panel 2, Adrian is
    1. emulating the ecstasy of St. Teresa of Avila (or maybe the burning of Joan of Arc);
    2. rehearsing her part of Nell in the Santa Royale Community Theatre production of the melodrama, “Wipe My Girlfriend Off the Train Tracks” (Ted has the part of Snidely Whiplash); or
    3. looking in the rear-view mirror as she parallel parks, just before she throws Ted’s worthless ass out onto the pavement.

  61. Poteet
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    3/23 S-M — I look at Aunt May and all I can think is that if I had been taken seriously ill at night during a blackout and had then been carried through the air by a human spider and dumped in the parking lot of a hospital and had miraculously avoided being run over long enough to be carried inside and treated, I would definitely ask, as one of my first requests, that my hair be taken down so I wouldn’t have to lie there on a ferking uncomfortable bun.
    Jeez.

  62. Poteet
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    # 60 bats:[ — Between that comment and your kiwi sendup, my sides hurt from laughing. You are a dangerous bat.

  63. Uncle Lumpy
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    #58 Poteet –

    There is a donut-scarfing lad; he stoppeth one of three,
    And saith, “Fair moppet, flour-sack clad, my angel of the sea -
    “Do not betray my secret, pray! I fear that if you do,
    “That Woody cannot drag this out another week or two!”

  64. Mibbitmaker
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    #50 (Moss_Moses), et al.: I was led to assume there was no word for gender-opposite misogyny.

    One day a few years (maybe decade) ago there was a female columnist who was no more fond of some women’s BS about men than she was of some men’s BS about women, and she used the word “misandry”. I then looked in my Websters II New Riverside Dictionary (paperback) and didn’t find the word.

    I eventually looked for it in a big dictionary at the library, and found it.

  65. Mibbitmaker
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    The TV version of Larry David = misanthrope
    Lynn Johnston = misogynist/misandrist
    Jack Elrod = work on it.

  66. seismic-2
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    In today’s Prince Valiant, the role of Val’s “look of surprise” is played by Rex Morgan’s mouth.

    I so much wish that in the last panel of Blondie, the name “Clint Brawny” had been replaced by “Emily Armfull”.

  67. Simon
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    MT: I went all “Wizard of OZ” about – “Excuse me sir do you happen to know where the family with the camera live” – Was hoping moustache would use “In the Kodak forest down by Fuji Lane”.

  68. Red Greenback
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    Blondie: Replace “Brawny” with “Howard”….Now that’s funny!

  69. rachel
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    why is Mrs. Marmaduke reading Stuff Magazine?

  70. Tom Harrington
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    What kind of parties to Dagwood and Blondie go to where nobody seems to know who they’re kissing, but which are not so wild and uninhibited that they still care who it is and can therefore make mistakes?

  71. Donald the Anarchist
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    Blondie What he says: “That kiss was pretty funny!” What he means: “Every time I think of that woman’s tongue in my mouth, my Dagwood threatens to rip a hole in my slacks…”

    JP It is a little disconcerting for him to call her “Princess” and her to call him “Sam”. Sorta like he’s saying, “Let me love you like a father!” and her reply is “Can’t we just be friends?” Which is odd, because Sam normally doesn’t give a shit about feelings or affection.

  72. True Fable
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    Girls Gone 3G omg it’s Bland Spawn! But how can that be; men in the 3G universe are asexual. Oh oh wait – they’re just a couple of kids he stole from somewhere. That’s okay then.
    (WT)DT Now we know who Beavis’s mother is.
    Children of the Circle If Dolly leans in any further her friend will be wearing her for a scarf.
    Canadian Zombie Snort snort! Men are pigs! Film at eleven!
    Sam Driver, Inexplicable Chick Magnet “You sure I don’t look like a bimbo, Sam?”
    “Absolutely not, Soph… you look like a bozo!”
    “Sue Ellen…is that Sophie Spencer?”
    “Sure is! And she looks… like she dressed in the dark!”
    Sweet & Shallow She’s still painting and he’s moving them in already. Boy, things move fast in this strip, except of course for the actual PLOTS.
    Fist o Justice Theater Guys, please: look outside the car window in panel two. Those ARE the kid’s friends. They are his ONLY friends. Stop being so paranoid; NOBODY likes Rusty.
    Marmadick She’s reading “Stuff” magazine. The possibilities are endless.
    Annoying Spawn of Satan It is my sincere belief that Tom Armstrong cannot draw anything that doesn’t look mad as hell or totally stoned. That is not necessarily a good combination unless it’s in Rex Morgan or Judge Parker.
    Meddling Heights Now I am not one to pass judgment on women; lord knows I love women (as often as I’m allowed!) However, I must take this opportunity to speak up about Miss Adrian in panel two.

    The word here is Fugly. Sorry, it’s judgmental but HOLY SHIT did you get a look at her?!? That’s a face only Dr. Jeff could love and that’s because he dates Mary Worth so therefore we know the man’s got no taste to begin with. Look at that square jaw and jutting chin and the awkward way her head is sitting on her neck, and… okay, so I’m spoiled by Eduardo Barreto’s artwork. so fuckin’ sue me, but HOLY SHIT that is one sad looking little trust fund sitting there.

    Don’t do it, Ted. It’s not worth it. All the $$ doctor bucks in the World will not give you a decent night’s sleep laying next to that apparition.

    Old Crone With an Attitude Pot’s calling the kettle black, Momma.
    Kit Walker, Dancekin Ranger And now, the Crocco Review will do their scheduled dance selection, “Leap Over the Side.”
    RMMW Oh good lord; the voyage from hell. Would you please get the story moving, Woody?!?
    Spider-Louse Yes, Aunt May, it’s Peter, the one who dumped you in the ambulance drive of the hospital during a blackout. Say, nice tatt! Oh…I meant tire tread.

  73. Mibbitmaker
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    3/23:

    A3G: Smooth, Joe, real smooth. Jerk.

    BBlues: Among other groceries, they’re going to buy Serutan.

    Cleats: That’s nothing — Pele once signed the cover of a record album by a chaste boy band.

    HotC: Ladies and gentlemen — Coolcop!!

    MT: Those animals saw those guys’ sideburns while their car whizzed by, and instantly hot-footed their furry asses outta there! Smart animals.

    MW: “…Arnie, my imaginary friend — uh, I mean, my money manager…” Arnie’s real name is Not Me.

    NS: Feiffer
    “A dance to……. the judicial system!…”

    Ghost-Who-OMIGOD!!!: They’re all saying, “The Phantom?! LET’S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!”

    PC: Oops — a bit late there, Stantis. Obama changed from supposed gloom-&-doom to rose-colored glasses to inspire the markets to get us out of this furshlugginer mess. On, well…

    ZtP: Right, and Zippy’s sense of reality was already SO normal to begin with and everything…

  74. Mibbitmaker
    March 23rd, 2009 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    JP: We already saw Sophie’s Sat. Night Fever pose, as Josh pointed out. Next, we’ll see her strutting across the school grounds accompanied by the song “Stayin’ Alive”, as the students — cheerleaders included — all gush about how awesome Soph is.

  75. True Fable
    March 23rd, 2009 at 3:48 am [Reply]

    Sophie’s classic Saturday Night Fever pose is inspiring! Sort of!

    Stay on the page with apologies to the Bee Gees

    Well you can tell by the way I do my strut
    I’m a cheerleader I dress like a slut
    Used to dress just like a geek
    Put a braid in my hair, now they call me chic

    I tossed out my books, my ponytail
    I’ll let my grades go, I might fail
    No longer care ’bout ecology
    Or internet, I have lethargy

    Whether you’re a mother or whether you’re a Plugger
    Judge will stay on the page, stay on the page
    Eat yourself a brownie and insult all the townies
    Gotta stay on the page, stay on the page
    Ah ah ah ah stay on the page, stay on the page
    Ah ah ah ah stay on the paaaaage…

    Well they tried to toss us from the Washington Post
    Said Judge Parker’s dead
    They won’t print his ghost
    With a big response from our e-mail fans
    We won a reprieve
    From our printed host

    Now they’re trying hard
    to expose
    Abbey Spencer in tight clothes
    And Randy’s girl
    In enviro-law
    Is going to help him
    Work that claw

    Whether you’re a jurist or whether you’re a purist
    Judge will stay on the page, stay on the page
    We went from comics ghetto to uptown with Barreto
    Judge will stay on the page, stay on the page
    Ah ah ah ah stay on the page, stay on the page
    Ah ah ah ah stay on the paaaAAAaaage

  76. True Fable
    March 23rd, 2009 at 3:54 am [Reply]

    Aw nuts; that should have been called Sophie Night Fever.

  77. zooby
    March 23rd, 2009 at 5:14 am [Reply]

    Any self-respecting teenage girl cultivating a new image would demand to be dropped off two blocks away from school so she can ditch her classy argyle sweater and braid barette for black eyeliner and torn fishnets. Or was that just me?

    Blondie, meanwhile, appears to be picking up on the frosty awfulness of Hi & Lois. How else to explain the chairs that don’t face each other and the cruel “Wasn’t it funny when another woman kissed me, honey?” comments followed up by “That’s not funny, but it was funny when Clint jammed his tongue down my throat.” I’m surprised Blondie and Dagwood still sleep in the same bed.

  78. Frank Parsnip
    March 23rd, 2009 at 5:20 am [Reply]

    Jugs Parker: Barreto has decided to take the hairdo of that rat-tailed imp from Doonesbury and try to spice it up in his traditonal way. Now watch for Sophie to start dating a one-eyed pirate.

    Mark Trail: WTF with the vehicle he’s driving in the first panel? They’ve got Baldy McSideburns sitting with his friend on a bench seat that only goes up to the small of his back and with enormously tall windows that make it look like they’re making their so-called getaway in a stolen popemobile. But by panel 2, they’ve switched to a black sedan.

    Mary Worth: The look of Adrian Corey in panel 2 is priceless! All this time she’s kept on leaving off with ellipses these sentences in which she hints at what she might do if she weren’t engaged. Perhaps we’re about to see what sort of intracoital head-ripping she’s capable of… or else we’ll probably find out that she, too, has no real money left and was hoping Ted Confey would make her his “kept” woman. Drats!

    Sex Organ, M.D.: “You call that evidence of a small boy who has disappeared? That wrapper hardly proves anything. But if you go into the cabin that Rex has supposedly been ‘inspecting’ since last month, you’ll find plenty. Just sayin’, ma’am.”

    Blondie: “Thousands” of what makes it the No. 1 business disaster in the world? In this current climate of billions and billions (said in Carl Saganesque voice) disappearing, it’s hard to reconcile the boss’ reference to Google with the old-timey idea that somehow just merely losing “thousands” is enough to qualify as a disaster. Unless, of course, that’s “thousands of millions” of dollars.

    Curtis: Am I the only one who thinks its cute that Derrick and Onion have decided to wear matching powder-blue hooded sweatshirts and black pants? They’ve coordinated their outfits finally!

    Slylock Fox: I think this is honestly the first time where a crime has been solvable by Slylock through the expeditious use of a body-cavity search. Treasure it — it may be a long time before we see another.

    DtM: Dennis wearing saddle shoes while talking about the protection of guardian angels? Not menacing. Dennis using Joey’s severed head as a handpuppet while babbling to himself about guardian angels? Menacing.

    A3G: A nice guest visit from Dana Carvey in the role of “Generic Joe” in panel 2. Now hilarity will ensue when Tommy can’t figure out for the life of her which one is “Kenley” and which is “Tyler”.

  79. Frank Parsnip
    March 23rd, 2009 at 5:35 am [Reply]

    Truef (75) — after reading that just now, I accidentally spoke in a high falsetto when answering a phone call. Oh, and I may have giggled in that voice as well. Good stuff, my man!

  80. gleeb
    March 23rd, 2009 at 5:58 am [Reply]

    Arlo & Janis: Jeez, how long is this pointless moping going to go on? Look, if you’re not going to have anything happen, just make funny strips about Arlo and the cat.

    ‘shaft: Hey, that actually makes sense. Where’s the hatred of humanity, or at least the complete lack of any competence?

    ‘bean: “We’re fine”. So, no more than two limbs lost between the two of them, tops.

    Luann: You’re living in a house that belongs to them, probably at a much lower rent than they could get from strangers. You’re still in their lives.

    Sally: Hannah Montana’s not going to help you to satori, Hillary.

  81. yellojkt
    March 23rd, 2009 at 6:14 am [Reply]

    Six Chix: Nice try, but even the TSA doesn’t ask the “Did you pack your own bags?” question anymore.

  82. John C Fremont
    March 23rd, 2009 at 6:31 am [Reply]

    MW – The guy behind Adrian must have his high beams on.

  83. Talking Squirrel
    March 23rd, 2009 at 7:04 am [Reply]

    RMMRSA: Looking at Sara in the first panel of Monday’s strip, I fully expect the next word out of her mouth to be “Hoooo!”

    Either that, or she’ll spit out a chocolate chip, (or more likely a raisin — whichever you dislike most). Or just possibly, considering this scow, a cockroach egg sac.

  84. buckyswife
    March 23rd, 2009 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    JP: That narration box is pretty amazed that Sam drops Sophie off right in front of the school! But I suppose that normally, Sam drops her off around the corner and down the block, because he’s so embarrassed to be seen with such a geek.

    FC: There’s only one possible thought balloon for brunette melonhead: “Fucking moron.”

    MW: I’m kinda hopeful that Adrian won’t be Ted’s patsy, given that her face has gone all Picasso in reaction to his latest news.

  85. moderately selassie
    March 23rd, 2009 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    blondie: “ha! ha! ha! It was so darn funny, I’m going to have to remember it when I’m masturbating tonight after you deny me sex once again!”

  86. Amanda M
    March 23rd, 2009 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    I think Sophie in Judge Parker is planning on becoming an Ace Attorney. She won’t be so confident when she goes up against Apollo Justice and his spunky sidekick Trucy!

  87. Amateur
    March 23rd, 2009 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    MW: Yipe! Adrian is turning into the Hulk! Look out, Ted — Queenie smash!

  88. buckyswife
    March 23rd, 2009 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    When I wrote to the Washington Post comics editors about the planned comics cuts, I said that it was unfortunate that they chose to retain strips that showed no innovation or imagination–that essentially recycled the same few “jokes” repeatedly; I cited Beetle Bailey as a case in point.

    But today I must acknowledge my error; I was wrong to include Beetle Bailey in this group. Today’s strip demonstrates that BB remains lively, fresh, and original. As we can see, it’s not the same old joke about Sarge constantly harping on Beetle to do meaningless tasks for him, in which the final panel shows Beetle doing some form of KP, such as peeling potatoes. No, today the strip veers into exciting new territory: Sarge constantly harps on Beetle to do meaningless tasks for him, and the final panel shows Beetle carrying pizzas.

    I, personally, was dazzled by the artist’s imaginative powers.

    So, please, WaPo, whatever you do, don’t deny us our Beetle. Not while its authors are at the height of their creative powers.

  89. One-eyed Wolfdog
    March 23rd, 2009 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Now watch for Sophie to start dating a one-eyed pirate.
    I was with you there right up to ‘pirate’.

  90. teddytoad
    March 23rd, 2009 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    The juxtaposition of the Kiwis’ story with Patty and Ken’s plot so recently “resolved” (through babies) does seem pretty creepy and predictive. “And after we have this baby, we’ll make another, and another! Because, after all, this is my life… there’s nothing else… Just us, and our new children, and those wonderful grubs out there in the dark…
    I’m ready to bring a child into this hopeless marriage, Mr. DeMille.”

  91. 150
    March 23rd, 2009 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Oh yeah, it must be real hard being a male kiwi, sitting around in the nest all day. I mean, the female only had to pass an egg almost as big as her body.

    I have a new theory: Elrod has never seen a woman, and has gleaned everything he needs to know about them from hanging around listening to the old guys at the Elks lodge.

  92. kalki
    March 23rd, 2009 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    9CL: “Gay wedding planner Hulk smash!”

    CircusJerk: “Now kiss me, you fool!”

    FW: Funky Ebenezer Winkerbean?

    GA: I hope she feels the same way when she opens the door and finds him in her home naked and straddling her antique chair.

    Luann: Love the symbolism of the lamp as TJ’s chubby pointed at Brad’s mom.

    S-M: Ok, since when does Pete’s spider sense–which is supposed to warn him of danger–go off when he is close to Aunt May? Maybe it is a stretch, but Aunt May looks like Willem Dafoe in bed and Dafoe played the Green Goblin in the first Spidey movie….so Aunt May is really the Green Goblin in drag! The horror!

  93. Charlie
    March 23rd, 2009 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    The Washington Post is running a “yes, keep it” or
    “no, dump it” poll about Judge Parker. They are looking to knock the Judge of the comics pages beginning next Monday.

    I would appreciate a “yes” vote, please. Thank you. Here is the link:

    http://voices.washingtonpost.com/comic-riffs/

  94. Ignatz
    March 23rd, 2009 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    If they get rid of the judge, they’d better replace it with Liberty Meadows. All newspapers should have one comic with boobs.

  95. Jamus The Bartender
    March 23rd, 2009 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    Archie: I understand it. Some financial wizard. The guys that sell Elvis portraits painted on velvet saw Hiram Lodge coming a mile away.
    FOOB: I hate John’s friend. No, let me rephrase that, I REALLY, REALLY hate John’s friend. Yes, I know in many ways he’s no better than I am. If you’re reading this, you probably figure i’ll flirt with waitresses, but dammit, it’s done with respect to the waitress. Is she going to school? Any kids? I take time to know people. At least a little.
    I want to punch John’s friend in the face. Very hard.
    Luann: Yeah, Mr. DeGroot is happy to get you out of his life. MRS. DeGroot is gonna be stopping by to borrow sugar, asking TJ to help clean out her garage….hell, you know the drill .
    Slylock Fox: I’m fluctuating between sorry and relieved that Cassandra was not featured in today’s mystery. I’m gonna go with relieved.
    Judge Parker: Whups. Mean girls at six o clock.
    Funky: Another manic Monday in Funkytown.

  96. Jamus The Bartender
    March 23rd, 2009 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    93. Election returns for the Washington Post Judge Parker keep it or dump it question.
    Yes: 88 %
    No: 11%. With 107 votes in. That’s pretty good, but we all know how elections can go. Get out and Vote. We voted Obama in, we can save Judge Parker.

  97. Harold
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    “You can slam on the brakes and send me flying through the windshield, Sam. And since neither of us are wearing seat belts, I guess you’ll be joining me!”

  98. Winky's Spleen
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    DtM – Guardian angels? It’s time to rename this to “Dennis the Menacingly Cutesy-Poo”.

  99. Uncle Ritzy Fritz
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Ya know what bugs me about Snuffy Smith this morning? Here’s what bugs me- the damned apostrophe in “Gen’ral Store” on the wall sign. I realize the sign is needed in a Basil Exposition kind of way, but if Silas there knew enough to put in a punctuation mark to signify a letter is missing he must know how to spell “General”, so why not just spell it that way? That’s what bugs me about Snuffy Smith this morning. Now it’s time for my 6th cup of cof’ee.

  100. rich
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:12 am [Reply]

  101. Artist formerly known as Ben
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    3/23

    MF: Tinsley manages to suck even worse than usual. A red letter day.

    MT: So these two criminal genii continue to chase down a blurry photo that might have them in it, rather than do something silly like book separate flights to Venezuela. Meanwhile the rabbit is about to turn to the camera and say, “You think you got troubles? Sheesh!”

    JP: Sue Ellen gets a load of Sophie’s new look and experiences strange new feelings. Feelings that make her question what her budding womanhood will mean.

    M-Dawg: Speaking of which, I’m sure that Dottie Winslow is just reading Stuff Magazine for the articles.

    Luann: They’re smiling because your toxin is starting to work on them, TJ.

    A3G: Ah, finally a man who you can kinda sorta tell from all the other men in New York. Okay, so he’s three. Baby steps.

    FC: “Oh and by the way, your next five dollar word buys you a knuckle sandwich, girly-girl.”

    S-M: Doesn’t his spider-sense warn him of imminent, non-brick-related danger? Oh, I see. It’s warning him that his aunt knows that he’s the one who dumped her on the asphalt, and is about to spring forward and strangle him.

    C-Shaft: That’s, um, practical I guess. Was there supposed to be a joke here or what?

    DT: So the big plan is just to string BO along until he loses it all? That basically makes him the Toeby Cameron of unhygienic gamblers.

    OBH: Classic Ruthie.

    9CL: Is “Taffeta Toxic” Seth’s drag queen persona? I picture him/her looking a little like Dee Snyder in the “We’re Not Gonna Take It” video.

    H&L: You don’t need to encourage your children’s delusions, Lois.

    SFx: No no no, Anthro Police Department! Bad, bad idea! You need to hire a female detective for missions like this. Believe me, Sly and Max busting into a gyn department and searching through a suspects intimate body parts is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

  102. Bootsy
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    JP Hey, Soph, that Members Only jacket is not going to look awesome to the cheerleaders.

  103. bartcow
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Oh, Mark. Women: can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em. Especially when the social mores of your rural community require you to, if only for appearance’s sake.

  104. Calico
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Josh – thanks for making me laugh out loud with your comments. That sure felt good!
    “Roly-poly liberated broads” – could this be a follow up live presentation to “The Vagina Monologues”?

  105. Calico
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Next featured guest on Blondie-Evan Stone.

  106. buckyswife
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    DtM: In the WaPo, DtM runs next to Family Circus, and I suspect that some stray melon-head dialogue accidentally ended up in Dennis’s mouth today. It’s standard Family Circus treacle, isn’t it? (Trademark Treacle?)

  107. Joe the Plugger
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Chuckle!

  108. Edgy DC
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    In fact, that Emily Armful incident was so funny, may fingers are sharing a laugh with my testes in my pocket right now.

  109. Edgy DC
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    In fact, that Emily Armful incident was so funny, my fingers are sharing a laugh with my testes in my pocket right now.

  110. tb4000
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Blondie: I know a name like Emily Faceful or Emily Handful would be deemed more risque, but Emily Armful…think about it…just think about it.

  111. nowukkers
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    #42 – bats

    Only Australia is “Down Under”. New Zealand has no correlative expression. However it does have a North Island and a South Island, thus making Australia NZ’s West Island. Kudos on the mock-strip, replete with dinkum, albeit somewhat archaic Kiwi-isms.

  112. nil zed
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    31 Spoon

    http://xkcd.com/555/

    also, Truman, good job! As usual.
    Off to put my vote in for JP at WP

  113. Poteet
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    # 63 Uncle Lumpy — Hahaha! Thanks! Good, and all too true. Any Wedding Guest who is ever stopped and forced to listen to the story of the RMMD Cruise will die of thirst, hunger, and utter boredom.

    # 75 — Sir Fable MTK, that was a joy to read and hear in my head. I wave my kerchief in admiration.

  114. Esther Blodgett
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    GF: Bucky has uttered a phrase for the ages in “Prithee thee blow.” In fact, reading today’s A3G, I would suggest it as the perfect next line for Tommie. Too bad she has fewer cojones than a neutered Siamese cat – she’ll surely just nod mutely and end up feeding discarded olives to these moppets for the next 14 hours.

  115. Dingo
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    I don’t know much about the vagaries of heterosexual sex but it seems to me that, by now, Adrian Cory should have changed into her Sauconys and hightailed it up the hill.

    Ted is so desperate for cash, he’d marry a gorgon; Adrian is so desperate for love, she’ll marry a man who only sees her as a meal ticket. There won’t be much sleep in the Peace Village tonight.

  116. One-eyed Wolfdog
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    #115 – the convex bit goes in the concave bit, it’s really pretty universal.

  117. Uncle Lumpy
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    #115 Dingo –

    Heh, heh. It’s all about the vagaries!

  118. Rob
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Hey could someone help me out. I had a link that Josh posted once saved and my computer went out and I don’t know the name of the site. I think it was by a reader here, essentially it was taking recent comics and changing them slightly and it was quite funny. Does anyone have the link?

  119. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    118 — Dean’s new site is http://comicbooth.com/blogengine.net/

  120. commodorejohn
    March 23rd, 2009 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    A3G – Hooray, time for more Random People Walk All Over Tommie hijinks! I find it unsettling that Kenley and Tyler have the exact same lips as Lu Ann, but I’m rather charmed by the Pollock on the wall.

    Archie – What I don’t understand is how the position of the leaves and the number of petals changes from panel to panel.

    AS – Needs fewer words, but otherwise actually amusing.

    BBlue – “Haey, ho!?” That had better be a Ramones reference, because there is just no situation in which addressing your mother as a “ho” would be appropriate. Unless, you know, Wanda has been doing some “contract work” while the kids are at school.

    BR – Wow, that’s actually vaguely current, as in “showed up in the news about two weeks ago.” So Brewster Rockit is timelier than Mallard Fillmore by about a factor of four.

    Crankshaft – Why are you looking depressed about saving money? Have you been diagnosed with cancer of the bank account?

    DT – This is going to be possibly the least illegal villainous plot ever to appear in Dick Tracy. What I wonder is, will that make the villain’s demise more or less violent?

    FW – Poor Ben Franklin. You just can’t catch a break, can you?

    Garfield – Just what we all wanted: vorephilia allusions in the funnies!

    GT – Okay, so the typically insane denoument has taken a more peaceful course than, say, Bill Ritter triple-punching a vandal, but that’s okay, it’s all good. (And by “good” I mean “hilariously stupid.”) What I really want to know, though, is: why do the Larkins have a framed picture of Ozymandias on their end table?

    JP – Who is that ghostly figure next to Cheekbones Guy in panel one? Also, Sue Ellen’s mom apparently wears gloves even in non-glove-necessitating situations. You know who else does that? Yeah. Sure you want to put yourself in competition with The Magee, lady?

    Luann – I think the wrongly-angled skyline Mama deGroot is painting on the wall adds a neat feeling of “1966 Batman” to the room. Appropriate, considering the widely-held belief that T.J. is the Joker’s illegitimate son. And speaking of which, he’s giving off the serial-killer vibes stronger than ever today. “Your folks are so loving and generous. They’re even smiling! So weak…so human. They’ll soon see what happens when you leave yourself open to others. When you trust.

    MT – I’d normally figure that panel two was just a typical Mark Trail “giant-animal hijinks obscure those boring humans while they exposit” panel, but I could almost swear the chase scene is meant to be symbolic, with the fox hunting down the rabbit the same way Baldy and Greaser are tracking poor little Rusty. But the thought of Mark Trail having any kind of depth or nuance makes my head hurt.

    MW – Is it possible that this whole time, Mary Worth has meant to be some kind of satire on the petty greed and self-centeredness of upper-middle-class suburban life? I would suggest that Adrian’s repressed but obvious fury at finding out about her fiancee’s financial insolvency as evidence for this viewpoint.

    MC – Okay, but how did his shirt get torn changing a tire? Or did Ashley stay for a “visit” after getting his ID card?

    Phantom – The idea is good, but there’s not as much energy on display as there really should be, and that one guy on the right rather botched it. I give it a 6.5.

    SF – Man, terrific punchline.

    SFx – This kind of thing is why I love Slylock Fox. The little details are all great: the looming skeleton in the poster, the lovingly-rendered reflex hammer, the cascaded books. But what I really want to know is, given that the pouch is where baby kangaroos do most of their gestating, is using it for petty-theft storage as trailer-trashy as the human equivalent would be?

    SM – So, his spider-sense isn’t so much an advanced danger reflex as it is an indicator of plot contrivances. Makes sense.

  121. gnome de blog
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    #30 Sheila:

    The Pocatello, Idaho State Urinal, er Journal carries The Born Loser too. The ISJ probably has the worst comics line-up in the country.

  122. Spunky N. Tadpole
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    @ #120 commodorejohn:

    Re SFox: I’m not sure a female marsupial’s pouch is actually as roomy as popular imagination would have it: if Kathy Kangaroo really did stuff an “eight-pound iron bookend” down there, I think she has more problems even than her apparent kleptomania – I wonder if Slylockville Hospital has a decent pysch department!

  123. nowukkers
    March 23rd, 2009 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    MW: I don’t think Adrian’s going to be calling off the engagement any time soon – it’s waaaaaaaay too early in the plot development.

  124. A Broad
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    Ben Franklin on the bald eagle: “He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly…too lazy to fish for himself…like those among Men who live by Sharping & Robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank Coward…”
    It seems that Jack Elrod has an equally low opinion of New Zealand’s national bird, who is pussy-whipped by his mate. Its eyesight is poor because sight is little help when your woman is some “roly-poly” fatty. It’s such a baby that it has to be nurtured by namby-pamby conservationists. I think the message we all took away from this comic is that kiwis (and by extension New Zealanders) need to man up… and it’s a sad day indeed when the guy behind Mark Trail thinks you’re a pussy.

  125. Marthas Rolling Pin
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    #120 Commodorejohn re: Archie. Mr. Lodge bought the painting from Maggie and Jiggs when their strip went out of business.

  126. indichik
    March 23rd, 2009 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    Sure Sophie, nothing gets the boys more worked up than an argyle sweater vest, oxford shirt and a neat little pigtail. (No really, I actually spent most of my middle-school years believing this to be true).

  127. Deborah
    March 23rd, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    New Zealand represent! Kiwis rock, Josh.

    Those lady kiwis push out the biggest egg per size of bird. Imagine pushing a basketball out your vagina. I think it is only fair the dudes have to sit on them for so long.

    A Broard, we NZers suffer from little-brother syndrome: we don’t like to be picked on by bigger players, so we puff out our little chests and make a stand.

    Moas are also damn cool. When scientists can bring back extinct animals, Moas should be first on the list. Awesome big game birds, lots of meat, and stupid as bollocks too.

  128. Amateur
    March 23rd, 2009 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I realize it’s not a comic, but the Ode to Poop in today’s KidsPost from the Washington Post could really use a comic riff or two. In fact, it’s practically begging for it.

  129. Winky's Spleen
    March 23rd, 2009 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    Amateur #128 – My sister and I once saw some fossilized dinosaur poop at the Pacific Science Center in Seattle. We agreed that we didn’t care if it was 70+ million years old, we weren’t touching it.

  130. mouse
    March 23rd, 2009 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    Personally, I think panel 4 in Mark Trail is absolutely hilarious – just check out the female hightailing it off to return to her life of excitement, as her mate looks in stunned disbelieve at another egg….another 3 months of his life. Honestly, it makes you wonder when they get together to produce the egg….or _if_ they got together to produce that egg.

  131. louse
    March 23rd, 2009 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    I think a better last frame would be Blondie in a low cut nightie saying “Well Dagwood. I hope you’ll happy dreaming about Emily Armful and her tiny little double d’s.”

  132. Zoomie
    March 26th, 2009 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    The “Emily Armfull” and “Clint Brawny” names that Dagwood and Blondie mentioned reminded me of the hilarious names for some movie stars in “The Beverly Hillbillies” tv series.
    Jed owned a studio, and some of the actors names were Dash Riprock, Biff Steel, Tab Strong, Race Burley, and Crunch Hardtack. Bolt Upright was the strangest name.
    I laughed out loud at “Clint Brawny”. Too bad the “Hillbillies” writers never thought of that one.

  133. LanceThruster
    March 27th, 2009 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    I remember “Dash Riprock” but the episodes the others were in escapes me. Homer Simpson went on the run as “Rock Strongo” which was a good one as well.

    Btw, Clint Brawny wasn’t the only one to kiss Blondie’s by mistake.. I did too, and she’s got a real pretty one.

  134. GROAN..
    March 29th, 2009 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    Yes, this will probably be read by nobody. And it may very well be possible that my less-than-thorough scroll-through-the-comments missed this already being pointed out.. but on the off-chance that A) someone reads this, and B) it hasn’t already been mentioned:
    SAM IS OBVIOUSLY PIMPING SOPHIE.

    Sam ain’t got no candy for hoes who ain’t got his money…

  135. HOODIE
    July 27th, 2009 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    I like the blondie one ^^. Very cute.

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