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A poem for you

Apartment 3-G, 3/3/05

Mim’s baby’s-daddy’s name is Chuck
And he’s a guy who likes to … have sex without using birth control, apparently.

OK, so that was the future Mrs. Curmudgeon’s joke. I don’t have anything specific to add about this strip, but this is as good an opportunity as any to discuss an interesting dream I had last night: I was with Salon.com sports columnist King Kaufman, and we were going over to the apartment that Britney Spears shares with Tommie from Apartment 3-G. King and Britney wandered off somewhere to talk, and Tommie and I stood next to an enormous free-standing bookcase in the middle of their living room that was filled with old encyclopedias. “Are these all yours,” I asked her, in all seriousness, “or is the library out of room and using your apartment for storage?” She just laughed.

Any amateur analysts out there who can explain to me what this means? Longtime readers will remember that this isn’t the first time that I’ve had a comics-themed dream.

48 responses to “A poem for you”

  1. peaches
    March 3rd, 2005 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Josh. Anytime you dream about Britney Spears, it’s a very, very bad sign. See your therapist immediately!

    Although I did find the freestanding bookcase of encyclopedias interesting. Trying to remember where you lost something?

  2. DrBear
    March 3rd, 2005 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    Were they the Encyclopaedia Britneytanica?

  3. REB
    March 3rd, 2005 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    also, why does Luann look so disapproving and say “Oh, no, Mim” when Mim wants to go down to meet this guy? The damage of an un-chaperoned visit with Chuck has already been done. He can’t knock her up again, can he?

  4. Blancmange
    March 3rd, 2005 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    So, Josh, in your dream were you drawn as an Apt 3-G character or was Tommie a 3 dimensional person?

  5. ozone ferd
    March 3rd, 2005 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    is it me or do you get the impression that LuAnn and Mim might be planning a three-some with Chuck?

  6. Woodstock
    March 3rd, 2005 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    Mim is not a real teenager. Real teenagers would have glared at Luann and then gone off on her for sticking her nose in. Of course, maybe this guy could finally move the plot another 3 inches again.

    Of real interest in today’s comics was Jeffy’s sudden desire to dodge the draft and make a run for the border. I’m sure that quarter will take you far. I just wonder if Jeffy the cartoonist thought there was any real humor value in this punchline?

  7. josh's therapist
    March 3rd, 2005 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    We’ve all been worried about Josh for some time. He often arrives at his sessions in a dripping wet, electric blue sports coat that never seems to dry. He has taken to endless discussions about the three women living next door and some giant moose that apparently appears quite often in his foreground. His recent correspondence with a disturbed young man incarcerated for dealing in stuff has been quite moving as he expresses deep concern for an infertile woman who only recently found love at her high school reunions. Of course, it’s hard to make progress because every 50 minute hour seems to last for weeks. But I want to assure everyone we’re working on it.

  8. Sassy_Rocks
    March 3rd, 2005 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth, the nosy, meddlesome biddy who lives next door is now “Mary Worth, Healer”. This is for advising her neighbor to email a married man she had a crush on 25 years ago. What are the odds of that advice actually being right? Dear Abby would have advised Anna not to contact Dr. Good, especially since she’s infertile and Dr. Good is obsessed with having children.

  9. Matt Estes
    March 3rd, 2005 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I don’t understand any of this. First of all, if Mim meeting Chuck downstairs is bad, then why would Chuck coming upstairs be any better? Where I come from, if you don’t want a girl seeing her lowlife boyfriend but he comes over anyways, you force them to talk out on the front porch awkwardly. You don’t invite him upstairs to an apartment where four defenseless young women live all by themselves.

    Secondly, when the man who knocked you up wants to come over and talk to you, isn’t that a good thing?? It’s when they skip town that you say “oh, no, Mim”.

    Thirdly… “Hi, Chuck, hi”?? I dare anyone to answer the phone and say “Hi, *name*, hi”. More proof that whoever writes this stuff doesn’t actually try reading it outloud first.

    Fourthly…. maybe it’s just me on this one, but what does “ring and meet me downstairs” mean? Anybody? Does it mean “ring the doorbell”? Cause who would have that conversation? “Hey baby, I’m gonna ring the doorbell so be sure and be their okay?” Does ring mean “call me on your cell phone”? Because why do that if A) he’s coming over and B) they are already on the phone anyhow?? No, seriously, I really don’t understand what it is she is telling him to do.

    Oh yeah and that dream is pretty crazy too.

  10. RememberByronFrost
    March 3rd, 2005 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    Aren’t we jumping to conclusions re: Chuck? He may NOT be the baby’s daddy, but just a dude Mim met at the world-renowned NYC Public Library.

  11. nobody
    March 3rd, 2005 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    1) What the hell kind of a name is “Mim”, anyway?

    2) Chuck is black. I can just tell. I have this radar. This has race riot written all over it.

  12. Pookie
    March 3rd, 2005 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Ring and meet me downstairs. In Manhattan, the front doors of apartment buildings are locked. To get in, you need to press the buzzer next to the tenant’s name. Usually, there’s an intercom system you can scream your name into, and they can press a button in Apt 3 G that unlocks the front door. So Mim should be saying “buzz and I’ll let you in”. But I guess that Bible banging, live in the van lifestyle has left her sadly urban culture deprived .
    I can’t believe I’m going to post this, but I am. Have at me for being a know it all!

    I also wonder if Baby Daddy Chuck has a pair of those super big pants and a size 4X tee-shirt? The suspense is killing me, since he won’t even get up the stairs for 2 weeks.

  13. RememberByronFrost
    March 3rd, 2005 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    Pookie, don’t forget the upside-down visor and/or backwards baseball cap and ear-splitting boombox.

  14. Sting
    March 3rd, 2005 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Luann’s shirt is a different color than her sweater!

  15. Moesy
    March 3rd, 2005 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    Someone must’ve finally told Mim that hair dye is bad for pregnant women. It’s been red for quite some time.

  16. zot
    March 3rd, 2005 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    Chuckie Baby Daddy should also have tattoos. Lots and lots of tatts, doncha think?

  17. Jacob Haller
    March 3rd, 2005 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    This doesn’t have anything to do with anything, except that I think reading joshreads has made be a little more sensitive to issues surrounding how quickly plots move in comics.

    That said, I challenge you to find a comic that has as many plot twists as this three-panel jobbie: http://wigu.com/overcompensating/pictures/energy.png

  18. Islamorada Girl
    March 3rd, 2005 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    Mim’s name is short for Mimialism [sic]. Mom O Mim is a misunderstood performance artist whose Bible banging, van dwelling pieces are sadly unappreciated by the citizens of Dogpatch or whatever red state they’re from. In the early 90′s, Mom O Mim was totally into minimalism, but couldn’t spell. Unfortunately for us, she could never quite get into conceptual art, or we would be having some real fun now.

  19. RememberByronFrost
    March 3rd, 2005 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    good one Islamorada!

    BTW Josh, the future Mrs. C. came up with a great poem about Chuck who likes to…. well, we know…

  20. Phineas Phelps
    March 3rd, 2005 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    Everybody can just relax about this Chuck guy. I’m not evern sure it’s her baby’s daddy. It’s probably just Mim’s drug dealer. Thank heavens Lu Ann correcter her in time. Small-town Mim’s seen to many tv shows. Real New Yorkers buy their drugs in the privacy of their own apartments from off-duty bike messengers not from thugs on the street. Don’t worry folks. I’m sure Mim will be much more drug savvy by the time the baby’s due.

  21. Jumpcut
    March 3rd, 2005 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    Josh, are you your sure you didn’t say in your dream, “or is the WORLD REKNOWNED NEW YORK CITY PUBLIC library out of room and using your apartment for storage?”

  22. Joe
    March 4th, 2005 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Nobody -

    Love your theory. Time to turn Apt 3G into Blaxploitation Theater. If this dude shows up wearing anything other than a fur coat, with a hat with a feather in it, and a ivory handled walking stick, I am going to be tres disappointed.

    I can hear the funk in the background as he walks in the door: ‘Yo biyatches, the Mac is in da house’

  23. RememberByronFrost
    March 4th, 2005 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Ha ha Joe !!!! And no doubt Margo will be more than willing to make room for Chuck (a/k/a Shaft) to move in…

  24. Honey
    March 4th, 2005 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    It means you need another hobby.

  25. MONKEYS UNCLE
    March 4th, 2005 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    This is a little off topic but, I fear Mark Trail might be starting a bad ‘Paris Hilton’ themed storyline. Notice todays strip features talking boob girl but now she has an annoying, tiny, dog with too much jewelry. Hmm do you think the jewels will be stolen and Mark will be caught up in another exciting story line with a women who looks exactly like Cherry in a blonde wig?

  26. Tracibub
    March 4th, 2005 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    I thought that today’s Mark Trail was actually leading to another drug smuggling scheme. Except the animals are still alive during this bust so they can pin “animal cruelity” on the bastards, too.

    And Chuck iks the baby’s daddy. Check today. And Mim is afraid that Margot is going to beat down the dead-beat-dad. (which she should be afraid of. It’s either a Margo Whup-ass or a Margo with a 22)

  27. Skip Tracer
    March 4th, 2005 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Phineas Phelps, Mim’s dealer doesn’t sell drugs.

    He sells ‘stuff’.

  28. Mike Donovan
    March 4th, 2005 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Let me just say that I would have NEVER thought of reading Mark Trail or Apartment 3g religiously. However, this site has got me hooked. I’d comment on todays strips, but I’ll let Josh do it. He’s way funnier then me.

  29. MONKEYS UNCLE
    March 4th, 2005 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    It just occured to me that an even more disturbing story line for Mark Trail might be the release of the the Mark and Cherry Honeymoon sex tape. What if other comic strip couples had sex tapes?… Hi and Lois, Hagar and Helga, The King and Sir Rodney (you know you were thinking it) Cathy and Irving… Ack! I need to take a shower.

  30. Winston Smith
    March 4th, 2005 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Joe, yes, absolutely, except that the sound track is not exactly funk. It sounds like this:
    “Wick-ick-ick-ick-wook-ook-ook-ook,
    Wick-ick-ick-ick-wook-ook-ook-ook…”

    REPEAT

  31. Sourbelly
    March 4th, 2005 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Some interpretations of your dream.

    1. It means that your feelings are ugly and wrong.

    2. Your prefrontal cortex frantically attempted to weave a coherent story line from the random firings emanating from your brain stem during REM sleep. It did so using the pop-culture imagery with which you are obsessed.

    3. Your conscious mind is a lot funnier than your unconscious mind. And a lot, lot, funnier than me.

  32. REB
    March 4th, 2005 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    and in a shocking new plot development in today’s 3G, we discover that

    a) Chuck is (gasp) the baby’s father, and
    b) Margo is mean.

    Josh needs to go back to Bermuda so that the plots in the serials will move forward again.

  33. King Of All Paperboys
    March 4th, 2005 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    Will you guys let up on Chuck already? NOBODY is the Baby Daddy until MAURY SAYS SO.

  34. King Of All Paperboys
    March 4th, 2005 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Forgot to add: I am a bookseller by trade and inclination, and I haven’t sold a set of encyclopedias in YEARS to anyone but an interior decorator. It’s true. You could look it up.

  35. Flasshe
    March 4th, 2005 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    So much for my Virgin Birth theory.

  36. Woodstock
    March 4th, 2005 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    I particularly like the Luann head jiggle with the laser blasting evil eyes. I figure her nose flies off tomorrow as a guided missile and explodes on Chuck. Or, Luann could be mad that Mim is dissing Margo. I mean heck, she took he to the WORLD RENOWNED, New York Public Library.

  37. CuteLucca
    March 4th, 2005 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    In today’s 3-G, Lu Ann is actually vibrating with the shock of the news that Chuck’s the daddy. I fear for what will happen when her mother passes away… with her molecules vibrating that quickly, the entire space-time continuum could be irreperably desynced.

  38. ben.
    March 4th, 2005 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Obligatory Simpon’s reference:

    “Sneed’s Feed and Seed
    (formerly Chuck’s)”

    The filtiest joke I’ve ever seen on TV and the only one that caused beer to shoot out my nose two hours later. Add this to the Chuck with the hat and feather, and laugh, laugh, laugh. Go on, it’s fun!

  39. JohnnyC
    March 4th, 2005 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    How did Chuck find Mim in New York? She is the only teen in America without a cell phone. And obviously she didn’t know Aunt Luann’s number before getting to NY, otherwise she would have called and warned her she was coming, right?

  40. katzy
    March 4th, 2005 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    ha ha ha… sadly I am an american teen with no cell phone…and I still don’t have strange men by the name of Chuck on my doorstep wanting to “ring and come up.” How does that work?

    I guess that comes from being a hokey college student in montana…

    I think he’s going to be some crazy hippy lookin/skin head with nasty dreadlocks. (What’s happinen mon?)

  41. RememberByronFrost
    March 4th, 2005 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    I too love the laser-blazing look in Luann’s eyes (and Mim was afraid Margo was going to be mean!)

    Apparently Luann assumed “virgin birth” as well.

  42. Isaac B2
    March 4th, 2005 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    Glad to hear the future Mrs. Curmudgeon is getting in on the act.

  43. Islamorada Girl
    March 5th, 2005 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    I know we’re all wondering, well, now that Chuck is here, will he take Mim to the prom at her special high school? Here’s the dress:

    http://www.uglydress.com/pregpromdres.html

  44. Woodrowfan
    March 5th, 2005 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    Monkey’s Uncle: Got a film like that with Blondie? I’d pay to see that!

  45. RememberByronFrost
    March 5th, 2005 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    Love it Islamorada !!!!!

  46. Phineas Phelps
    March 6th, 2005 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Ok, I was wrong about two things in my earlier comment. First, Skip Tracer is right. Dealers don’t sell “drugs”. Any respectable drug dealer would say that he got the “stuff”. This is might be followed by classic “You got the money, Mims?” Secondly, it turns out that Chuck is her baby’s daddy. However, this doesn’t mean that he couldn’t also be her dealer. Chuck’s thinking could go something like this . . . “Aaa’igt, so I done knocked up this strung out biyatch. ‘At’s cool. I jus’ string her along, feeding her the stuff. Time baby comes, she in so deep, so out of it she don’ know what’s going on. Take that baby sell it to my boy Scratch Dawgg for like 3 G’s easy.” Thus lending bitter irony to the title of this strip. I’m just saying this scenario is possible. Even if this plot line doesn’t pan out, I look forward to watching him trade insults with Margo. If by some chance I have in fact divulged the plot, I apologize for ruining the next four to five months of “Apartment 3-G.”

  47. Hot Jazz
    December 15th, 2007 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    It means you’re bisexual.

  48. Roger M. Wilcox
    May 24th, 2013 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    You had a dream about Apartment 3-G?!

    Sheesh, that’s almost as pathetic as those dreams I had about Babylon 5.

    (On the plus side, I did get to find out what Kosh will say to Sheridan in the afterlife.)

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