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A tidal wave — of learning!

Mark Trail, 4/10/05

Did you know that “Mark Trail” is actually an Estonian word? It’s derived from “Mark,” meaning “smug,” and “Trail,” meaning “tsunami-surviving bastard.” Yes, after four meticulous months of research and the painstaking artistic rendering of piles of smashed old-timey trucks and devastated ’50s-era mill towns, Mark Trail has unleashed its Very Special Tsunami Episode. I love how Mark stands idly by in the first few panels as death and destruction runs rampant mere feet away. I also like the fact that all of his advice ends with “run to high ground.” Weird-looking cloud on the horizon? Run to high ground! No lifeguards at the beach? Run to high ground! Goateed Indian artifacts dealers skulking about? For God’s sake, run to high ground!

Also, good advice on waiting for the all clear on NOAA weather radio. Unless you’re one of the ignorant few who doesn’t know what station NOAA weather radio is on. Or, God forbid, you live in some filthy third-world hellhole that doesn’t even have an NOAA. In which case, screw you, tsunami-bait.

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 10, 2005 at 08:26 pm and is filed under Mark Trail. |

84 responses to “A tidal wave — of learning!”

  1. the ghost
    April 10th, 2005 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    So the Japanese have been plagued by tsunamis for 2000 years. What happened before that? Have they only been living in Japan for 2000 years? Did tsunamis not happen more than 2000 years ago? I am very confused by this. The only explanation is that Mr. Trail belongs to one of those religions that believes the world was actually created only 2000 years ago.

  2. Carol
    April 10th, 2005 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You might remember me from such Natural Disaster Awareness films as, “Subduction Zone Shuffle” and “God, Doesn’t Live Here Anymore”…

  3. Hysterical Woman
    April 10th, 2005 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    God’s been punishing Japan for 2000 years for not coming to His Son’s baby shower.

  4. Dave G
    April 10th, 2005 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    Fortunately, the Japanese came up with a name for those really big waves. In other areas of the world, people had long been suffering these really big things from the sea, and countless people would die because no one knew what to yell in order to warn others. “It’s coming! Look out for the… it’s really big… it’s coming from the ocean… oh, too late.”

    Also, on a pedantic note, Japan, or “Nihon” as the locals insist on calling themselves, hasn’t been in existence for 2000 years, even when you take into account the time it was called “Yamato”. So the Japanese have packed 2000 years of suffering into about half the time. Perhaps Japanese people suffer in “dog years”.

  5. ellcee
    April 10th, 2005 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    Thank God for Mark Trail. Somehow this same advice just didn’t filter through the first twenty-thousand times I heard it on CNN, but now I know what to do in the event of a tsunami.

    If “Mark Trail” is Estonian for “smug tsunami-surviving bastard,” what does “Elly Patterson” mean in Albanian?

  6. fuzzmaster
    April 10th, 2005 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    Hey! Hey! I’ve got a Fourth Warning Sign: If you see seafaring birds of wildly varying sizes swoop in, led by leaders the size of aerodynamic Volkswagens, run to high ground! (Also, cover your head.)

  7. fuzzmaster
    April 10th, 2005 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    And, of course, Fifth Warning Sign: If you see Mark Trail, run to high ground. Story line may take several months to play out; remain at high elevation until authorities give the all clear or a giant moose appears, signalling a new plot.

  8. Brian J
    April 10th, 2005 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    More tsunami survival tips, mule!

    (that joke will NEVER EVER get old)

  9. Mibbitmaker
    April 10th, 2005 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, “run to high ground” just doesn’t have the same ring to it as “duck and cover”. The former is bad advice in the case of nuclear attack, the second, lousy way to avoid a tsunami!

  10. Joe D.
    April 10th, 2005 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail quiz.
    1. The blue thing in panel two is:
    a. a truck.
    b. a boat.
    c. a church.
    d. something else that I can’t even imagine.

    2. The trees in the background of panel two:
    a. are being blown over because tsunamis create high winds.
    b. are being pushed by the large waves.
    c. are drawn that way because Mark Trail sucks as a comic strip.
    d. lean naturally in the wild.

    3. What the hell is Mark Trail looking at in panels two, three, and four?
    a. the people running.
    b. the birds.
    c. the waves.
    d. the comic strip audience (this one is obviously wrong).

  11. Joe
    April 10th, 2005 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    This Mark Trail cartoon has the charm of a 1970s Irwin Allen disaster movie. Next week: how to survive a towering inferno.

  12. Meowmix
    April 10th, 2005 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    Sixth Warning Sign: If you see various marine mammals with above mentioned birds next to your fishing boat, abandon ship and head towards higher ground.

  13. frippy
    April 10th, 2005 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    The blue thing in the second panel is clearly a churchboat.

  14. DrBear
    April 10th, 2005 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    In the final panel, we find out the real cause of tsunamis – seagulls the size of 747s.

  15. Sue
    April 10th, 2005 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    C’mon, Mark didn’t actually travel to the site of the tsunami — he’s standing in front of a blue screen, just like when Stephen Colbert reports from in front of the U.S. Capitol on “The Daily Show”!

  16. Tracibub
    April 10th, 2005 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    When volcanic activity is coming your way… Duck, and cover!

    It’s like a repeat of the South Park episode, but less crappy advice. Go Mark Trail!!… or rather Go Smug Tsunami-Surviving-Bastard!

  17. Wes Rand
    April 10th, 2005 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    Always! helps! to! talk! in! exclamation!

    And the seventh warning sign: if the sky turns electric orange, run for higher ground!

  18. Kelvin the Clown
    April 10th, 2005 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    The tsumani killed those dolphins in panel one. And then Mark Trail ate them.

  19. Michelle
    April 10th, 2005 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    Those poor fools aren’t running from an underwater earthquake! They’re running because they just realized that Alfred Hitchcock’s movie The Birds is playing out. And they know that this is the one and only time that running for higher ground won’t help. Damn those seagulls!! From the way the gulls are circling Mark Trail in the first panel I had hopes that he would be part of the blood bath. Alas, he seems to be the director instead.

  20. Jiggles
    April 10th, 2005 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

    I can’t remember all this! How am I ever going to be able to go to the beach again?

    I wish, however, that he was riding a surfboard on top of the wave in the last panel. That’d be rad.

  21. BioGal
    April 10th, 2005 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    Hey, maybe he could surf ON the Churchboat!

    Yeah, and I, for one, am never going to the beach again. Not with those big seagulls … I saw “The Birds;” I know what they can do. Okay, yes, I did see it when I was seven, but it stuck with me until this very day.

    It’s a good thing I never read Mark Trail, I mean, Smug Tsunami-Surviving Bastard, when I was a kid. I’d have been warped for life even without any seagull fears.

  22. CW
    April 10th, 2005 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    Run to high ground, unless you live in Florida, in which case you’re like totally boned.

  23. PizzaBagel
    April 11th, 2005 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    I never read Mark Trail when I was a kid, either. (Still don’t.) How did I manage to survive this long? Oh, the humanity!

    BTW: Loved the Troy McClure reference, Carol. Rest in peace, Phil Hartman.

  24. Islamorada Girl
    April 11th, 2005 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    I like all those happy beachgoers fleeing in terror. Unfortunately, the beach seems to be
    somewhere in the US, rather than Asia. Maybe they mistook the tsunami for a giant white shark?

  25. Joe D.
    April 11th, 2005 at 7:30 am [Reply]

    Does anyone else find it disturbing that the kid in the lowest left panel is more concerned with not forgetting his towel than helping the poor guy who has fallen down?

  26. Smitty Smedlap
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    Also beware of loose “Jack Elrod”-brand saucer-sleds. Those babies are razor sharp.

  27. Monkeys Uncle
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    It seems that even if your a christian sailor your screwed when the tsunami comes a calling. Too bad you spent all that time talking to the invisible man in the sky instead of monitoring your handy NOAA radio. Take my advice, move far away from the ocean, hide in your underground bunker, constantly monitor your NOAA radio, and buy The Comic Curmudgeon(tm) brand merchandise from our friends at Cafepress.com. Then and only then will you be safe from tsunamis and rhinos and stuff.

  28. Jazz
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    It is very responsible to have waited until the world has calmed down. Everyone was just so hyped up about the last Tsunami that they would have never been able to digest such good advice and might have merely accused Mr. Trail of jumping on the Tsunami Bandwagon (or wave). This sound advice would have gone in one ear and out the other and no one would have been helped.

    After three months, however, we can take something like this with the seriousness it deserves.

  29. Honey
    April 11th, 2005 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    You.. you mean Steven Colbert isn’t really in the capital when he reports?

    My life is a lie.

  30. Barry
    April 11th, 2005 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    I live in South Carolina… if a tsunami comes, the only high ground I have to run to is 400 miles away

  31. Sassy_Rocks
    April 11th, 2005 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    After the Oyster Bar episode, with multiple bassackward references to hungry sharks waiting for the tide to go out so they could eat Mark Trail, I’m surprised Elrod has the cohones to mention waves again…

  32. Moesy
    April 11th, 2005 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Is it just me or is this a really bad PSA? “run to high ground” is the best advice he could give? How about tip #7 “If the newly installed Tsunami Warning System goes off & there is no one else around, get the hell off the beach.”

  33. the ghost
    April 11th, 2005 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Can I just ask… Did anyone see the “For Better or For Worse” (lately it’s been more “for worse”) where Elly explained her active sphincter problems? How long until Mike gets blood in his stool?

  34. the ghost
    April 11th, 2005 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    I just noted the Sphincter comic has been noted in the Metapost comments. Day late and a dollar short again.

    Hey… anyone notice that Cathy got married? And Garfield likes lasagna?

  35. Grant Gould
    April 11th, 2005 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Perhaps Elrod has just redone the foreground and the dialogue of one of those great Jack Chick tracts about the coming apocalypse. Remove those obviously cut-and-paste images of ol’ Mark from the foreground, and what you see is end-times horror being visited on the sinners of the world.

  36. barrett
    April 11th, 2005 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Volcano erupting? Run to higher ground! No, not thatway – that’s up the volcan- Can’t you- look out for the lava, you-

    Sigh.

  37. Incident
    April 11th, 2005 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Hey, Mark, why don’t you just send Andy to fight the tsunami, like you do every damn thing else.

  38. johncomic
    April 11th, 2005 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Quoth Barry: I live in South Carolina… if a tsunami comes, the only high ground I have to run to is 400 miles away

    You’d probably best get started right away, then… no use waitin’ around, eh?

  39. Adouble
    April 11th, 2005 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Hey Barry:
    Do you got the speed of a rhino? If so, it will take you over 13 hours to reach high ground.

  40. Joe
    April 11th, 2005 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    New T-Shirt idea – Mark Trail from Panel 3 w/ the talk balloon “Screw you, tsunami-bait!”

  41. RememberByronFrost
    April 11th, 2005 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    I’d buy a case or two !!

  42. Dwight Brown
    April 11th, 2005 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Unrelated to Mark Trail, or tidal waves, but did anyone see the story in this morning’s *NYT* about the world-renowned New York Public Library selling off some of their art to raise money?

    http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/11/arts/design/11libr.html?pagewanted=all&position=

    This is also somewhat unrelated to comics, but I wanted to be the first one to say “More Gilbert Stuart ‘originals’, mule!” (And wouldn’t Margo working in an art forgery sweatshop be a fun plot line?)

  43. Archivalist
    April 11th, 2005 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    Ok, my turn!

    Joe D. — Mark’s obviously reading the cue cards Elrod’s provided for him.

    Re the guy in the lower left panel: isn’t he holding swim fins instead of a towel? And the woman next to him: is she supposed to be a superhero or just combing her hair? She’s not running, so she MUST be planning something…

    And I think that bird in the last panel definitely has a smile on its face. “At last the humans will be destroyed!”

    Oh, and I think it’s no accident that the wave in the final panel looks a little like Hokusai’s “The Great Wave.”

  44. RememberByronFrost
    April 11th, 2005 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    Sure would Dwight!

    And isn’t it amazing that in a ‘world-renowned’ city like NYC, the nurse in the hospital knew who Luann was asking about.. without a last name ?

  45. Ron
    April 11th, 2005 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    The tsunami-bait T-shirt’s hilarious, but I was kinda hoping for a “RUN TO HIGH GROUND” t-shirt, maybe with a cresting wave on it or something.

  46. Bill Peschel
    April 11th, 2005 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Hey, I see in the last panel this note: “If you want to learn more about tsumamis, go to http://www.tsunami.gov.”

    Who knew there was a nation called Tsunami? I wonder what their flag looks like?

  47. Flasshe
    April 11th, 2005 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    I’m waiting for a Sunday Mark Trail strip that will explain the whole Rhino costume-grafted-to-body thing. After reading this Tsunami stuff, I feel that Mark is the only one who can explain Rhino properly and imbue the subject with the gravitas it deserves.

    Churchboats rule. You can fish for marlin and hear a sermon at the same time. Better than taking a Game Boy to church.

  48. sally
    April 11th, 2005 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    You know, NOAA is a great agency…provides a great service…we have a NOAA Weather Radio ™… hell, my husband WORKS for NOAA… but every time one of these cring-inducing PSA references to NOAA shows up in Mark Trail, I wish my husband would quit.

  49. Nick Theodorakis
    April 11th, 2005 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    Hey, I see in the last panel this note: “If you want to learn more about tsumamis, go to http://www.tsunami.gov.”

    Who knew there was a nation called Tsunami? I wonder what their flag looks like?

    A .gov top level domain (TLD) is not for any government or country; it is specifically reserved for agencies of the US federal government. In this example, if you visit http://www.tsunami.gov, you will see that it is a page operated by the National Weather Service.

    Country-specific TLDs are given two-letter abbreviations; for example, .uk is for the United Kingdom.

    Nick

  50. Islamorada Girl
    April 11th, 2005 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    Is that Elvis in the lower right panel, down in the right corner? Maybe all those rumors were right. He is alive on a tropical island somewhere. Well, was, until the giant wave
    returned him to sender. Oh, the irony!

  51. Peaches
    April 11th, 2005 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    On a wave far away,
    Floats the old rugged church boat. . .

  52. The Gorton Fisherman
    April 11th, 2005 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    Ye old Church Boat gives new meaning to the phrase “Holy Mackerel!”

  53. The Gorton Fisherman
    April 11th, 2005 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Have you fellow Josh-heads ever wondered how many of us there really are here, commenting… hell we change names at will… sometimes I wonder if there are only 5, 10, or maybe 50? :)

    I admit I use a few aliases (aliai?) Haha

  54. Sting
    April 11th, 2005 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    Take a look at the lowermost image on http://www.tsunami.gov – is that the Loch Ness Monster attacking a lighthouse?

  55. Mystery Limerick-type
    April 11th, 2005 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail teaching Tsunamis now
    While poor Andy could be wolf chow
    Josh is right, Mark’s so damn smug
    Deserves to be Pus-boy ‘dug’
    while our lastnameless Mim says “OW”

  56. Islamorada Girl
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    My bad! I meant Elvis was in the lower LEFT panel. I can’t tell port from starboard, either. Sorry.

  57. Charles
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

    ave you fellow Josh-heads ever wondered how many of us there really are here, commenting… hell we change names at will… sometimes I wonder if there are only 5, 10, or maybe 50? :)

    But some of us have the same name. I know there’s more than one Charles posting here.

    I’m the attractive, intelligent and funny one, btw.

  58. Zipper the mule
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    Now Gorton,

    Isn’t it more fun to pretend it isn’t just us?

  59. Mystery Limerick-type
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    Gotta admit, I’ve always had screen-name Envy on yours, Zipper!!

  60. Mystery Limerick-type
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and Charles, I knew that ! doh….
    :)

    (damn I wish we had kewl emoticons here)

  61. Mark Trail
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Of course, there are really only two of us here. Everyone else has Purpose in their lives.

    Or is it Porpoise?

    Anyway – that sure IS the Loch Ness Monster on the tsunami website. I know because I’ve seen it for reals.

  62. Zipper the mule
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    “We know that knowledge about them can save lives.”

    I nominate Mark Trail for the “Most Stilted Dialogue” award.

    I nominate For Better or Worse for the “Can you tell I’m ending the strip next year by the innapropriate and sudden change in material” award. Sphincters, Roadside Teenagers, weird things to do with rabbits, and Grandpa’s bizarre sex fantasies?? What the…

  63. The Gorton Fisherman
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    As have I….

  64. The Gorton Fisherman
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

    Yep not to mention the “getting old” thing going on now… hello??? what’s the freakin’ alternative?

    NOT FUNNY THOUGH

  65. The Gorton Fisherman
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    Change subject over there to Luann, struggling to get to hospital before Mim (aka whatever, no last name) has the baby…..

    Am I wrong or doesn’t it usually take about 6 or 8 hours to deliver one’s first baby?

    How long was Luann stuck in the elevator?

    Dammm those world-renowned NYC buildings! Run to higher ground !

  66. Moesy
    April 11th, 2005 at 8:46 pm [Reply]

    6-8 hours, took me 12. I guess I’m not good at child birth. I’m gonna have comic envy of Mim if she does it in like 2 comic hours (which should be about 7 days real time)

  67. Dub Not Dubya
    April 11th, 2005 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    It should only take Mim about fifteen minutes–after all, the pregnancy itself only took a few weeks, right?

  68. Dr. Seuss
    April 11th, 2005 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    Please don’t feel comic envy over Mim (aka Alexandra), the girl doesn’t have a last name at all, and suddenly even her first name is in question.

    At least we know know her age 17 years.

    But alas, we don’t know what race/color, etc the baby will be

    Ahhh, the suspense………

  69. Dr. Seuss
    April 11th, 2005 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    I wanna see Chuck (babydaddy) and Bible Thumping, van-dwelling Granny !!

    ahh… the suspense….

  70. Spugnology
    April 11th, 2005 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    What city IS that getting wiped out by the Tsunami, anyway?! Doesn’t look very Asian to me. In fact, it looks exactly like the south side of Chicago.

  71. RememberByronFrost
    April 11th, 2005 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    yep, Chicago back in the 50’s

  72. RememberByronFrost
    April 11th, 2005 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    surely you remember that Tsunami from the Great Lakes in 1951???

  73. Other_Sally
    April 11th, 2005 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

    My mother had me in 2 hours, and my sister in a bit over half an hour. Some people have very quick labor.

  74. Sammo
    April 12th, 2005 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    My mom was in labor with me for forty hours and has never let me forget it. But at least she has a last name.

  75. Skip Tracer
    April 12th, 2005 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    Church boats
    Most fishing boats have a raised platform in the front called a pulpit. Was it named after the pulpit in a church, or vise-versa?

  76. Islamorada Girl
    April 12th, 2005 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Do you really want to know? The pulpit of a boat looks like the old-fashioned raised and enclosed pulpits of churches. Arrr, matey, ye learn a lot when ye sail the seven seas as an irate pirate!

  77. Skip Tracer
    April 12th, 2005 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Speaking of pirates, I was going to rent a pirate movie, but changed my mind when I found out it was rated ‘Arrr’.

  78. Moesy
    April 12th, 2005 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Someone please help Skip. That was the CORNIEST joke I’ve heard in SOOOOOO long. It made me giggle, but it was still corny.

  79. Skip Tracer
    April 12th, 2005 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Sorry for the bad pun (sob).

    I jsut got out of a meeting, we were voting on whether we wanted to talk like horses or pirates.

    “All those in favor of talking like pirates, say ‘Aye’! All those who want to talk like horses, say ‘Nay’!”

  80. fuzzmaster
    April 12th, 2005 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    Trail keep on teaching
    Pulpits keep on preaching
    Waves, keep on rolling, ’cause it won’t be too long
    Till I reach the higher ground

  81. Anonymous
    April 12th, 2005 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    This strip married Irving a long time ago.

  82. Islamorada Girl
    April 12th, 2005 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    This strip married and divorced Irving a long time ago. Now it’s married to Gil Thorpe.

  83. derek
    April 13th, 2005 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    your estonian is very wrong. the translation is way off.

  84. The J. C.
    April 16th, 2005 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    Check out this web page for a few old Mark Trail cartoons helping out our own Fish & Wildlife Service!

    http://marktrail.fws.gov/week01.html

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