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You’re just lucky that impersonating a black person isn’t illegal, Rap-Dog

Gil Thorp, 5/17/05

How — I mean how — can you people keep calling for the death of Gil Thorp when he consistently provides this level of entertainment? Honestly. You might choose to see Milford as so stultifyingly lame that this counts as a major vice bust; I prefer to see this whole storyline, taken in conjunction with the legendary Marty Moon’s arrest and sentence to mildly difficult labor, as a cautionary tale about the reign of terror enforced by an out-of-control police force. Prepare to see Coach Thorp make a To Kill a Mockingbird-level impassioned courtroom speech to free his wrongly imprisoned nickel-ante student-athletes. Because if the court doesn’t set them free … then Milford’s baseball team will be short of players and need to forfeit! Surely the good townsfolk won’t allow that to happen.

A review of last week’s strip reveals that Brent was in fact just at Hutch’s as a spectator. Still, the fact that Officer Bebow didn’t have him thrown in the clink for uttering the phrase “just chillin’ with the peeps, brah” indicates that she has special plans for him. Look at the Rap-Dog in panel two: that luxurious, fluffy mane of hair, that stunned, vacant expression, the mouth slightly agape and threatening to start drooling at any moment. He and the lady policeman are even wearing the same t-shirt, and his breasts are almost as big as hers. Yes, being an undercover cop is tough gig, but there are compensations.

172 responses to “You’re just lucky that impersonating a black person isn’t illegal, Rap-Dog”

  1. Justin
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    As someone who only follows Gil Thorp through this site, I have to admit I have no idea who any of the characters are. So what’s the deal with the retarded she-male in the middle panel? The moral seems to be that it may be illegal to gamble, but being tossed in the hoosegow’s still better than being one of those lamewads who don’t.

  2. J.Po
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    The moral of this story: It’s Always Good To Look Like The Arresting Officer. Wouldn’t want any racial, sexual, or bad-hair profiling here, brah.

    Death to Gil Thorp, anyway.

  3. DCBirdblaster
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Stultify: To render useless or ineffectual; cripple. To cause to appear stupid, inconsistent, or ridiculous.

    Now that is a great word! I love it! Who knew that reading the comics could be so educational. I’ll use it every day.

    To customer: “You are so stultifyingly stupid, you are no longer worthy to use our parts in your design!”

  4. hic Rita hic 3.
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Let’s go stultify Meddleaholic Mary.

  5. spiderbaby
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Lady cop is posed in a sort of ‘Hi mom! I’m on TV!’ way in panel one.

  6. Battlefield Streaker
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    I think this is a set up for an upcoming story line involving a prisoners vs. guards baseball game, with Marty Moon announcing over the prison loudspeaker, and Rap-dog struggling with rooting for his old brahs or his new policeWOMAN be-otch.

  7. HowStupid!
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    How long has this been going on? Where are what’s his name’s parents? Don’t they have a clue as to what is going on in their house?

    Poor old Gil, he will be crapping in his pants when he hears about this.

  8. daChipster
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    I have a theory.

    (don’t I always?)

    Delaney Bebow was somehow wronged by Gill Thorp or his wife. She’s been planning this revenge for years. The only thing that kept her going through the cold lonely nights as the only girl at the Milford Police Academy were her dreams of vengeance.

    And now, in one fell swoop, she has destroyed Thorp’s program. In any REAL suburb, his career would end as well, since the white bread parents of the non-offenders would blame him rather than their PTA pals they’ve barbecued with over the years.

    But how do you avoid Det. Bebow’s dragnet? It was clear from the start how to escape her wrath.

    “Delaney Bebow” is an anagram for “only be a dweeb.”

  9. Wren Wah
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    “Lady” Cop has some major hair growing on the back of her hand in panel 2. Are we sure “she’s” not just in drag? You know how vice squad guys can be. It would make things even more interesting for Rap-Dog.

  10. fluffytufts
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    It’s just that GT consistently looks like it’s drawn by a quadrapelegic with a pen in his mouth, the plots (and I use the word loosely) couldn’t keep a slow dwarf interested, and the whole town’s obsession with high school sports is just this side of clinical. If this were a television show, it’d be cast with stunningly vapid retards the likes of Jessica Simpson and Tara Reid. Don’t newspaper editors ever actually take an occasional glance at the dreck littering the hallowed panels of the funny pages? How does this (as well as Mary Worth, Judge Parker, Mark Trail et al) avoid the axe? I don’t get it!

  11. Rifleman
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Your worrying about Milford? Mark Trail is about to be crushed by giant wolves!

    And I have to say that todays Dilbert is just wrong.

  12. Battlefield Streaker
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    fluffytufts, I’m sure you meant to say “stultifyingly” vapid retards.

    More stultifying dreck, mule!

  13. Moesy
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    My theory on (death to) Gil Thorpe is that the “artist” wants to stop drawing it, because even HE thinks it is beyond lame. If everyone in Milford gets arrested, then poof…no more horrible story lines. Hopefully, the crimes get more interesting than nickle-dime gambling. Maybe Hutch is a dealer of another kind, and all of the girls on the softball team will get busted for using roids. You can’t tell dudes from chicks in this strip anyway, maybe that was intentional. Maybe the girls testosterone is out of control. Bet they win the State Championship this year & then all get arrested for usin the juice.

  14. fluffytufts
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Oops – you’re right, Streaker. Make that *stultifyingly* vapid. Hey – good name for a band, no?

  15. Incident
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    I’m with Josh on this one. Thorp and co. are to hilarious to die.

  16. glubb?
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    “Make sure you cuff ‘em good and tight, boys – this gang plays for nickels!”

  17. barrett
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Just a note on Dilbert today – The last panel features a presumably nude pointy-haried boss and an owl in a hottub with champagne and a lascivious smile on his face.

    If I read the strip right, Scott Adams is suggesting owl-rogering as a method of propagating the species. Not only is this irresponsible but could be dangerously unhealthy as well. They don’t call them “spotted” owls for nothing, you know.

  18. Wren Wah
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    Does anyone really believe that Amos has what it takes to make Edde’s toes curl?

  19. Wren Wah
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Who is going to have a worse night, Edde or the owl?

  20. The Bard
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    Not only is Gil Thorp drawn by a quadrapelegic with a pen in his mouth it is written by a group of monkeys locked in a room with a bunch of typewriters.

    Gil Thorp cannot die soon enough or fast enough.

  21. J.Po
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Death to Amos.

    More on this topic going on as we speak at the end of the Mary Worth posts…

  22. RememberByronFrost
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    I, for one, certainly hope that Officer Bebow was being fairly compensated for hazardous-duty pay for this undercover assignment.

    More nickel-confiscating-raids, Mule!

  23. Joni Eareckson's posse
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    Hey, fluffytufts…watch the quadriplegic artist comparisons. Most of them folks is waay better that Gil Thorp quality

  24. drownedinink
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    I would give anything to have the third panel show the policeman (policeWOman!) take off her shirt to reveal an “Ilsa: The Wicked Warden”-esque outfit as she utters the lines, “…but he is mine! Ve haf vays of making bad boys obedient!”

  25. fluffytufts
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    re #19 – Well the owl, of course. Edda’s been gearing up for something like this for several years. Besides – rumor has it that in the weeks he wasn’t seeing Edda, Amos went to Thailand on a “cultural anthropology” package, so he knows the ropes:

    Panel 6: Amos: “Say it Edda, say it! Say ‘Five dallah, Five dallah’.”

    Panel 7: Edda: “I wait 12 years for *this*?”

  26. fluffytufts
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Okay – the quadriplegic remark was insensitive (and misspelled) – I withdraw it. But the slow dwarf comparison stands! Death to Gil Thorp, by the way.

  27. Brucker
    May 17th, 2005 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Besides, if you want good comics by a quadriplegic, you have to go to John Callahan:

    Hilarious, anti-politically-correct quadriplegic artist whose autobiography is titled: “Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far On Foot”.

  28. Rifleman
    May 17th, 2005 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    #20 – The Monkeys-writing-a-comic-strip joke was allready used this week!

  29. The Bard
    May 17th, 2005 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Thank god somebody reads Monty, so I don’t have to.

  30. Wren Wah
    May 17th, 2005 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    On another subject, Luann’s teachers are getting called on the carpet for dancing? It’s not like they were going roadside on the dance floor (or with an owl for that matter). If the principal’s criticism involves their obvious lack of talent – well then I’m on his side. But, I suspect that this revolves around the sin of teachers enjoying themselves. I realize that high school students would like to believe that their teachers are robots, eunuchs or hermits (although cases like Debra LaVave, Pamela Turner and Mary Kay LeTourneau indicate that at least some high schoolers know better) certainly it can’t be a requirement that they actually have to be emotionless drones. What kind of oppressive, cynical, unforgiving, town do these people live in? It makes Milford look like Las Vegas. Now there’s a slogan…
    What happens in Milford stays in Milford.

  31. laska
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Re: #10- the television show couldn’t cast Jessica Simpson or Tara Reid, no matter how stupid they are, because they are obviously women. We’d be stuck with Sandra Bernhard and Rosie O’Donnell.

  32. Mooncity
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or did the “artist” doing Gil Thorp study only Egyptian Art in his correspondece course art school before tackling comic strip art? I mean, finger painting gives you a better sense of perspective than this guy’s flat, ultra-2D work. I swear, it’s like reading hieroglyphics with word baloons written over ‘em. If you don’t believe me, check out any typical Egyptian tomb painting. Only the most perspectively-challenged would really believe that lady in Panel 1 is NOT about to karate chop that police officer. Maybe Gil Thorp, relic that it is, is really the Rosetta Stone of crappy, archaic newspaper comics, and these imperfect translations called “Gil Thorp” give archeologists a passing insight into the culture of the ancient Egyptians?

  33. Sad
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Somebody over at Gil Thorp artist’s shop should really take a course in how to operate the Xerox machine.

    Die! Gil Thorp, Die!

  34. Islamorada Girl
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Death to Gil Thorp.

    This strip is so dumb, if its brain was a pea on a fork, it would look like a b.b. rolling down an eight lane highway.

    That’s one of many reasons I say. . .

  35. Christina
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    I’ve been reading this site too much.

    Last night, I dreamed the Queen of Heavy Meddle kissed Momzilla. So bizarre…

    Add me in with Josh as wanting Gil Thorp to stick around. I mean, come on, 4 cops to bust a nickel-ante game? Hilarious.

  36. violencejackal
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    I think it’s pretty bad when even the characters in the strip can’t tell if somebody’s a woman or not.

  37. Anne Nonymous
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    The back of Delaney’s hair is really scaring me (DTGT). It looks like she ripped some guys beard off and pasted it to the back of her head. Or maybe it’s a merkin (not previously used, I hope).

  38. yellojkt
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    It’s bad enough that Brent is a wigger, but he is also shunned by the only person of color in the town. Someone confiscate his NWA collection before he ghetto slangs again.

  39. RememberByronFrost
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    His ‘ghetto slang’ is so stultifyingly lame he makes VP Cheney look cool.

  40. RememberByronFrost
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    But then again, wonder how many ghettoes are in Milford?
    Hmmmmmmmmmmm – that’s a tough one Brah !

  41. johnwhorfin
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Loved the merkin reference, Anne Nonymous. As for Brent “Rap Dog” being let off scot free, doesn’t Milford have an offense along the lines of “Frequenting an establishment of illegal occupation” that he could be hauled in on? Or maybe the suspicions are correct, the “female” detective does have other plans for him.

  42. luluchappel
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    And over in A3G, it’s clear that LuAnn’s new flame shops for clothes at the same place as the Good Doctor in MW. Comics fashion crossover? Yikes!

  43. Battlefield Streaker
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Anne, I’m ashamed to admit I had to look up the word “merkin”, after which I LMAO. But now I’m intrigued – why are you so familiar with the term?

    More merkins, mule!

  44. Dennis Jimenez
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    I must admit, I’m a bit creeped out by the androgeny of Gil Thorp, though I tend to agree with Josh – why must Gil die – the cheesier the better. That’s the only reason I read these things. Who reads the comics for biting social commentary anymore.

  45. Sourbelly
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    I just wish they’d pick a face for Hutch Renfro and stick with it. He looks different in every panel of every strip he’s been in.

    And the moral of the story seems to be, “Be careful about making new friends, because one might turn out to be a PoliceWOMAN!”

  46. Sourbelly
    May 17th, 2005 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and yes, Gil Thorp must die.

  47. Anne Nonymous
    May 17th, 2005 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Battlefield (and may I call you Batty?)- I think I’ve been reading too many midieval manuscripts. Oh, wait- maybe it was in the Reader’s Digest Word-of-the-Day column. Yes, that must be it.

  48. J.Po
    May 17th, 2005 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    What happens in Milford should stay in Milford.

    What happens in Charterstone rests solidly in the lap of the Queen of Heavy Meddle.

  49. yellojkt
    May 17th, 2005 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    More merkins, mule.

    I’ve been dying to do that.

  50. Mibbitmaker
    May 17th, 2005 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    In regards to the Development of the guy getting Arrested, You can always tell a Millford (police)man…er….woman….

    Oh, and a hungry loose seal to Gil Thorp! (Sorry, I’ve got 3rd season pick-up on the brain)

  51. Monkeys Uncle
    May 17th, 2005 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    I laughed at Dilbert today for the first time in a long time. This story line reminds me of when Dilbert was interesting and not just the office space jokes over and over again. Of course Adams has made a billion or so dollars from the never ending office space jokes so who can blame him? Artistic integrity be damned!

    On to another topic. If that is a merkin on Delaney’s head, it is huge! I dont know what that suggest about Officer Delaney but it is disturbing to think about it. I think one of the on women on Cagney and Lacey was named Delaney. I could be wrong but death to Cagney and Lacey anyway.

    I dare you to Google “Huge Merkin” I dare ya!

  52. freehuey
    May 17th, 2005 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp must live!

    Free Hutch Renfro! Hopefully Rap-dog saved some of his benjamins for bail loot. Do you think they’ll have to do community service with Marty Moon?

  53. clashkid
    May 17th, 2005 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    The policewoman has hair growing on the back of her hand, trumped up legal charges, odd goings on… Gil Thorp is going to have to learn how to play the crying game.

  54. yellojkt
    May 17th, 2005 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Here is how Brent heard the arrest go down:

    What Brent Heard

  55. RememberByronFrost
    May 17th, 2005 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one to wonder whether these high-schoolers are (supposed to be) under 18? Maybe cops in small towns don’t differentiate between juveniles and adults?

    Rodney Dangerfield: My neighborhood was so tough I got the chair at age 17 for playing nickel wild card poker!

  56. RememberByronFrost
    May 17th, 2005 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    Ooops – I meant Rodney’s ghost!

  57. RememberByronFrost
    May 17th, 2005 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    Yellojkt that was GREAT!

  58. SS
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    I am still freaked out by the pointing hand in the second panel. That woman has some awfully hairy paws.

  59. Battlefield Streaker
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    At Hutch’s card game Delaney was lurkin’
    In a hairpiece that looked like a merkin
    She shut down the game
    Which was pretty lame
    Now Brent’s leash she’ll be a-jerkin’!

  60. daChipster
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Mooncity: “Maybe Gil Thorp, relic that it is, is really the Rosetta Stone of crappy, archaic newspaper comics, and these imperfect translations called “Gil Thorp” give archeologists a passing insight into the culture of the ancient Egyptians? ”

    Well done, Moon! I smell c-o-t-w material!

    Move over, yellojkt, this is just the sort of off-the-wall pretzel logic that Josh trolls for.

    More extended metaphors, mule!

  61. yellojkt
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    What! And that is supposed to beat “Kelpfroth = rabid Australian sea-monkeys”. Bring it on!

  62. CT
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    How the hell does Gil Thorp keep his job? Every year, Gil Thorp has a killer football, basketball or baseball team at the start of the season, only to have that season totally derailed by whatever flavor of the week deadly fad is going around like drinking, drugs, gang warfare, college recruiting violations, sexual harrassment, personal injury lawsuits, Texas Hold ‘Em, team infighting, anthrax attacks, Anthrax concerts, The Ring of Power, players refusing to get gastric bypass surgery, managers dying of rare diseases, terrorist bombings, players from other high schools who are skipping straight to the NBA, and a plague of locusts. Honestly, Gil is the worst coach since Dusty Baker. He must be fired.

  63. Joe D.
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    I guess I won’t be able to make comments using “Hutch Renfro” as my name any longer. It just wouldn’t be believable because Hutch won’t have internet access where he’s going.

    At least Marty Moon has been freed.

    I still wish I lived in Milford.

  64. RememberByronFrost
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    Suggested alternate last line to your excellent ‘submission’ Streaker:

    At Hutch’s card game Delaney was
    In a hairpiece that looked like a merkin
    She shut down the game
    Which was pretty lame

    Ya think Bebow’s after his gherkin?

  65. yellojkt
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    I consider the freestyle dancing the Luann teacher were doing quaint. Nowadays “the kids” are all freak dancing and grinding. I chaparoned a band boat cruise with a DJ and there were couples you couldn’t separate with a crowbar. The school nurse was about to hand out condoms. The purpose of dancing is to shock your parents.

  66. Battlefield Streaker
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    RBF – Excellent!

  67. RememberByronFrost
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    You got that right CT! GT calls those EXCUSES? Sheesh

  68. Anne Nonymous
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    CT- thanks for the summation. So that’s what Gil Thorp (death to him) is all about! And good one, B. Streaker and RBF; I’m so glad my merkin reference inspired a limerick.

  69. Gilmore Guy
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    Brent should drop the “h” as today’s strip shows he needs a bra far more than a brah.

  70. Wren Wah
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    Maybe that’s the problem. The school is being sued because so many of its students were medivaced to the hospital after bursting their spleens laughing at the archaic 80′s style dancing.

  71. Fog City
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    I cannot wait for the RMMD where June looks at Rex and says, oh my goodness, I forgot I put widdle Sara in my purse. Silly me.

  72. Flasshe
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Dang! Posted in the wrong thread again. Multiple browser tabs are a menace.

    Hey, aren’t poker games legal if all the players know each other socially? See
    this link
    for the laws in my state, though maybe it’s different in the state of “Milford”. But assuming that’s true here, then what the policeWOMAN was doing was entrapment. If she had not been there, it would’ve been legal. More lawyers, mule! Protect our right to nickel-ante poker games!

    Helpful hint for workplace harmony: Don’t ask co-workers if they are wearing a merkin.

  73. J.Po
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    RBF – awesome! Good to see that Brent, unlike Michael Patterson, won’t be jerkin’ his own gherkin.

  74. daChipster
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    More on ancient Egypt – all the ancient Egyptians had shaved heads, which would explain the hair in Gil Thorp – there’s no direct translation! Mooncity, you a genius.

    And is it me, or does Det. Bebow look an awful lot like Jennifer Tilly in panel 1?

  75. daChipster
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    Now when he was a young man
    He never thought he’d see
    Coppers stand in line
    To bust the poker king

    King Hutch, How’d you get arrested?
    King Hutch, You’ve at last been bested?

    Born in Alabama – Headed to the slammer
    King Hutch!

    Now if I met a stranger
    Playin’ pokerpard
    I’d be very careful
    To check her hole card

    King Hutch, her headpiece was a merkin
    King Hutch, you thought she’d jerk your gherkin?

    Born in Alabama – Headed to the slammer
    King Hutch!

    Hutch! Hutch! Cheating at the game
    Hutch! Hutch! You never look the same.
    Rappin’ Hutch! Hutch! Fat Brent is a rap dog
    Work it Hutch! Hutch! Now he’s Bebow’s lapdog.

    You gave your freedom for a seven dollar pot

    If you draw me in Gil Thorp
    Now don’t think I’m a nut
    Don’t want no fancy haircut
    Just one like old King Hutch

    King Hutch, If you run a game in jail
    King Hutch, you just might make your bail

    Born in Alabama – Headed to the slammer
    He was born in Alabama
    Now he’s cryin’ for his Gramma

    King HUTCH!

  76. Wren Wah
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    All hail King Chipster.

  77. RememberByronFrost
    May 17th, 2005 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    OMG Chip you really are TOO MUCH! Sending you a bill for having my monitor, keyboard, speakers, etc. cleaned!

    More Steve Martin Classics, Mule!

  78. Battlefield Streaker
    May 17th, 2005 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Chipster, I am in awe! that was the best post ever! If THAT doesn’t get COTW there should be a revolt!

  79. Nostradamus J.Po
    May 17th, 2005 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    Let the record show, that in yesterday’s posts under the Mary Worth strip, under the topic of predicting what might happen today, post #44:

    On a positive note, I think we can safely predict that at least one contributor to this site will make us laugh out loud and/or spew beverages on the computer screen. Smart money’s on daChipster or Islamorada.

    Thank you, thank you very much.

  80. RememberByronFrost
    May 17th, 2005 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    I just noticed Yellojkt got COTW for last week! CONGRATS!

  81. RememberByronFrost
    May 17th, 2005 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    Way to Go Nostra-J-Po!

  82. Moesy
    May 17th, 2005 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    My COTW prediction: If a kardinal calls out who we think should get to COTW, Josh won’t use it. Chip – you’re brilliant!

  83. J.Po
    May 17th, 2005 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Moesy, you should get COTW for that last comment! :)

  84. Luban
    May 17th, 2005 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Hey Josh, how about a new T-shirt: “FREE HUTCH RENFRO, BRAH!” I’d buy that, even if I don’t have the luxurious, fluffy mane of hair to go along with it.

  85. Josh
    May 17th, 2005 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    A note on the COTW, comment kibbutzers: the COTW cannot be more than a sentence or two, or else it pushes the left-hand navbar material too far down. Also, stuff that requires line breaks to render properly won’t display very neatly. Both these factors mitigate against the use of song parodies and/or poems, wonderful as some of the examples on this thread are.


  86. sally
    May 17th, 2005 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    The break strain is the most brilliant, Chip. You da man.

  87. Anne Nonymous
    May 17th, 2005 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    I say we just give Chipster lifetime honors (Comments of the Century?) and be done with it.

  88. Moesy
    May 17th, 2005 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    Just in case anyone is too lazy to look it up…

    What is a merkin?

    I choked on my Coke when I finally found time to answer the question of the day. This entire post just became about 10x funnier.

  89. Islamorada Girl
    May 17th, 2005 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    Yellojkt, Chip, you guys are smokin’ today!

  90. Islamorada Girl
    May 17th, 2005 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp (death to him) would be more interesting if everyone in Milford wore a codpiece in their sporting activities. At least it would hide the poorly drawn merkins.

  91. Peaches
    May 17th, 2005 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    Too bad people can’t get arrested for awfulness. The entire cast of Gil Thorp would be in the county detention center calling their bondsman.

    Who would be Rap Dog, the Bouncy Hunter.

    More suburban white boys and androgeny, mule!

  92. Peaches
    May 17th, 2005 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    More codpieces, Mule!

  93. Anne Nonymous
    May 17th, 2005 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Tsk, tsk, Moesy. I really thought that the erudite, intelligent and verbally fluent commentators on this blog would, of course ALL know what a “merkin” was. Obviously, your misspent youth was not misspent looking up strange and salacious words with which to flummox your teachers. Next week, students, I will try to present another new vocabulary word for your edification.

  94. Moesy
    May 17th, 2005 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Aw crap, now I have to look up “Flummox.” Thanks for the constant vocab lessons, Anne. Without you I’d never learn anything :-)

  95. Anne Nonymous
    May 17th, 2005 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    You’re welcome, Moesy. Just trying to juxtapose the humor in the comments with a bit of extraneous knowledge.

  96. Charles
    May 17th, 2005 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    I thought your remark comparing Rap-Dog’s mantits to Officer Bebow’s womanboobs was merely another of the legion of trenchant comments about a poor fat guy….

    But then I noticed that holy cow, Mr. Brah-speakin’ Foolio really does have tits rendered almost as large as hers!

  97. Flasshe
    May 17th, 2005 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    Here’s my proposed Official Kardinal Dress Code. Forget the robes and beanies, we need something based on the strips.

    Men: Electric blue suit with all-black tie. Hair combed back and parted.

    Women: Ankle-length skirts, blouses that reach up to the chin. Lacy, frilly bits optional but preferred. Bonus points for shoulder pads and scarves. No cleavage showing unless you’re a nurse married to a doctor.

    Wouldn’t that freak your co-workers out!

  98. Islamorada Girl
    May 17th, 2005 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    I would propose Milford High School take a class trip to the inner city, where they kick all the suburban white kids off the bus and leave them to the tender mercies of urban
    ghetto life. Poseurs!

  99. Anne Nonymous
    May 17th, 2005 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    I-Girl, RBF, Peaches, and the rest of the Kardinalettes: are we going to let Flasshe get away with that horrible costume suggestion? I’d much rather dress like Tiffany in Luann. What are your suggestions, Your (Female) Eminences?

  100. Islamorada Girl
    May 17th, 2005 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    Anne and Sister ‘Lettes—I say electric blue suits of whatever style for everybody! Nothing screams a love of Kardinal Komic Kolor like that eye popping shade of… Blueberry Kool Aid urine.

    Electric blue, is after all, the new neutral.

  101. daChipster
    May 17th, 2005 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    Brah & Sistah Kardinals:

    We don’t need no steekeeng COTW – the plaudits of my fellow pundits are accolade enough for this poor scribe.

    I bow to Mooncity today, though, who started the whole Egyptian leitmotiv running in my brain. I just wanted to hurry up and post the thing before someone else got the same bright idea, like the Raven-off we had the other day.

    As for our uniform, I’m thinking more along the lines of MIB… black, not blue.

  102. Anne Nonymous
    May 17th, 2005 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    “Electric blue, is after all, the new neutral.” Cool, Kardinal I-Girl, as long as we get to choose our own suits (and I think we can be fairly liberal in our interpretation of “suits”).

  103. J.Po
    May 17th, 2005 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    I’m with ya, Islamorada, your Eminence! I think it’s only fair and, in an ironic Kardinal Kontradiction, inclusive for all of us to be in Electric Blue. Coordinating beanies and/or mitres (depending on occasion) too, of course.

    Codpieces for the men, merkins for the women.

    But wait! There’s more…a partial list of allowable accessories to customize one’s Kardinal Kouture:

    1. Mary Worth cravat
    2. RMMD Bronko Nagurski-style t-shirt (neck sizes 19 and above only)
    3. Fence Post Frank hat
    4. Large, round Jack Elrod applique
    5. Milford High gherkin-displaying baseball pants
    6. Bob Crane orange pom-pom yarmulke

    Other suggestions, Kardinals?

  104. Islamorada Girl
    May 17th, 2005 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Well, you could wear black. Hip, metrosexual urban black. But only with crosshatching and shading!

    I’m so glad there’s no Sunday Gil Thorp. Think of all that electric blue. It’s probably one of their team colors.

    Electric blue must be the cheapest ink in the Komic Kolor Kosmos.

    I think all Kardettes who are planning on being married should force their bridesmaids to wear electric blue in tribute to this blog.

  105. Lovey Saltzman
    May 17th, 2005 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    Don’t forget those matching shirt and sweater sets from 3G–all in electric blue, of course!
    I’m sure WalMart has them in unisex sizes.

    And for the guys, big fake boobs, so they can see what it’s like to walk around with a daschund strapped to your chest. Electric blue, of course!

  106. Monkeys Uncle
    May 17th, 2005 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    I’m sorry but I just cant support the idea of strapping electric blue daschunds to your chest. Even though it would be an attention getter.

  107. Monkeys Uncle
    May 17th, 2005 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    Of course the the idea of everyone wearing electric blue merkins would be awsome! Nobody could actually see them but we could just walk around and give each other a Sally Forth sly look.

  108. Jordon
    May 17th, 2005 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    How about pink polo shirts (like Mark Trail likes ‘em) for the women, with metal bustiers underneath?

  109. J.Po
    May 17th, 2005 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    I believe that too much metal is overkill, and that the Metal Bustier should be reserved for the High Priestess of the Kollege of Kardinals. What say you, Islamorada, Anne N., Moesy, Peaches, et al?

  110. Anne Nonymous
    May 17th, 2005 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    I like the idea of an electric blue metal bustier for the High Priestess, I-Girl, along with her beanie topped with Gil-Thorp’s-head-on-the-pike. Such a ravishing image!

  111. Lor
    May 17th, 2005 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    daChipster, that’s going to be MW’s next lunch offering: Noodles Ravenoff.

  112. Flasshe
    May 17th, 2005 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    My original idea was for the men to wear (Death to) Gil Thorp Speedos and the women to wear Mrs Morgan Tight Sweaters and Leather Miniskirts, but I opted for discretion instead. Don’t know where my head was at.

    If I-Girl is going to have a Metal Bustier, she’s going to need a sword also. Though it would probably have to be a dented one like Hagar’s. And she’ll have to loot the local Walgreens.

    Doesn’t an electric blue merkin kind of defeat the purpose of a merkin? I’m just sayin’.

    And it’s all over you – Electric Blue – Icehouse & John Oats

  113. RBF
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    Damm,,, I’m trying to get caught up here re: our Kardinal Kollege outfits. Yeh I go with the elec. blue for all (suits all skin shades) but give me a sec. to catch up on accessories,

    (no Death to Gil Thorp! He is too much of a target for our evil comments and even new vocabulary… again, give me a sec)

  114. RBF (yeh I shortened it)
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    Yeh I had to pay a cleaning crew at work for monitor, keyboard, speakers, calculator etc…

    NOW I gotta pay one here at home too! Guess I better stop drinking coffee/coke/scotch/water when I click on here…..

    too friggin’ funny for a “normal” human being like me

  115. RBF (yeh I shortened it)
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    Understand Josh’s constraints re: TCOW, second to Comment of the Century for daChipster …..

    but dam you Chip I had that “King Tut” song in my head all day.. still do.

  116. Lor
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    Meanwhile, today’s Judge Parker is hilarious. “What kind of a place is Quatzal?” “Oh, they used to have human sacrifices there.” “Yawn.” And while Sam and David are shaking their heads at those wacky Aztecs, some kind of giant alien jungle slug has splayed itself atop their car and is preparing to EAT THROUGH THE ROOF AND SLURP UP THEIR JUICY JUICY BRAINS.

    Hope they have HEALTH INSURANCE.

  117. HowStupid!
    May 17th, 2005 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    Gil will be seen in his PJ’s saying, “What? Anyone hurt? Good. Thanks for the heads-up, chief.”

    He turns to Mrs. Gil and say,
    “Some of my geniuses invited an undercover cop to a poker game.”

    “Har, dee har, har . . .”

  118. Lovey Saltzman
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    Where is Fence Post Frank, dammit?
    More toothless rednecks, Mule!

  119. Incident
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    “What kind of a place is Quatzal?” “Oh, they used to have human sacrifices there.” “Yawn.”

    Further proof Judge Parker can make ANYTHING boring. They could have Bill Hicks telling jokes while Jessica Alba was performing lewd acts upon a Playstation 3 and I still wouldn’t be entertained.

  120. Lor
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    By the way, is that a thunderstorm brewing behind Mary and her gentleman friend? Run for higher ground! Oh wait – they can’t.

    Uh oh.

  121. Incident
    May 17th, 2005 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    Actually, Lor, it appears as if they’ve taken off and are flying among the clouds! Must have been all that hot air coming out of Mary.

  122. Moesy
    May 17th, 2005 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    My idea for kardinal outfits is purple spandex ala The Phantom. And of course Bob Crane hats. As a female kardinal, I can’t go along with the long skirts & high colars. All spandex all the time!

  123. Ron
    May 17th, 2005 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    “And you need to be more careful about making new friends!”

    Because you never know which of them will ratfink your nickel-ante game to The Man, I suppose.

  124. Dr. Laura (no not that one)
    May 18th, 2005 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    In the meantime, over at FBOFW, widdle Merideth proclaims, “I broke my arm!” To which Deanna with the poochy lips says, “It’s just a fracture.” Guess what, lady, it’s the SAME THING. You’re still going to be reported to Child Protective Services!! First you give your toddler a large pot which she promptly pulls down on top of herself, then you give her some toy with wheels and off she goes tumbling ass-over-teacups down a flight of stairs! If you can’t take care of your children, STOP HAVING THEM!! I’m tired of all these comics depicting beleaguered parents and their out of control offspring (Baby Blues, FBOFW, Family Circus)! Fewer rugrats Mule!!!

  125. Luban
    May 18th, 2005 at 1:18 am [Reply]

    Dr. Laura, is your last name Kelpfroth by any chance?

    Meanwhile, 9CL explores the erotic possibilities of Scrabble and fuzzy slippers. OK, I’m feelin’ the Eddalust now.

  126. Frank Drackman
    May 18th, 2005 at 5:26 am [Reply]

    The Policewoman looks like shes doing the “Tomahawk Chop” in panel 1.

  127. smarlet
    May 18th, 2005 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    Is it just me or are Hutch’s eyes open extremely wide in panel 1? However, the only thing in his eyeline appears to be policeWOMAN’s chest . . .

    Shame on you, Hutch, you should be concentrating on the fact that you’re being arrested right now.

  128. GotFuzzy
    May 18th, 2005 at 6:28 am [Reply]

    Rap-Dog was actually hoping to be arrested–it was his best chance to establish some street cred and win his way into Mandy/Missy’s stone-cold gangsta heart. Delaney Bebow will pay for this!

  129. Islamorada Girl
    May 18th, 2005 at 6:36 am [Reply]

    LOL! I can see myself teetering on my stiletto heels, wearing an electric blue metal bustier and carrying a sword. Where I live, no one would give me a second glance. But the sword would come in handy for getting things off high shelves at the Trading Post Market. Thanks for the dress code, fellow Kards!

  130. Islamorada Girl
    May 18th, 2005 at 6:37 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, over in 3G, why does it take Luanne so long to make chocolate chip cookies? Because she has to peel all the M&M’s! What an airhead!

  131. J.Po
    May 18th, 2005 at 7:10 am [Reply]

    Problem on 9CL, as noted earlier, is that Amos’ big word will be “DORK” while Edda will be going for the triple word score…

    Eddalust is rampant this morning.

    Meanwhile, at A3G, Luann faces the daunting challenge, having yet again failed at the Herculean task of setting her alarm, of whether to get herself ready or clear out her collection of Apres-Sex Snack Food containers.

    More head-bobbing, mule!

  132. yellojkt
    May 18th, 2005 at 7:13 am [Reply]

    I’m with the sea-monkeys here. What sort Canuck trash family lets their kids play on the stairs unsupervised and then leave toys scattered thru the yard? Next thing you know, they’ll have John’s old Bushmaster up on blocks in the front yard.

  133. J.Po
    May 18th, 2005 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    Wow, cute jammies, Coach Thorp! Maybe you still have time to change and meet up with Mark and Seth (9CL) for a nice glass of Chardonnay at last call?

  134. yellojkt
    May 18th, 2005 at 7:17 am [Reply]

    OK! Does what Edda is wearing qualify as hot comic chick lingerie? I think not. Brooke McEldowney is toying with us Eddalusters. At least Seth knows how to dress for the budoir.

  135. TwoClubs
    May 18th, 2005 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    Luann slept till 9:15 today. So…wait a minute–9:15???!!!. She must have really pulled a bender last night. Now she’ll be sorry. She only has 45 minutes to decide which to clean up–her trashed apartment or herself.

  136. yellojkt
    May 18th, 2005 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    Look at the debris around Apt 3G. Microwave popcorn bags, chinese take-out containers, soda cups. Seems like AMC had another all night An Affair to Remember marathon. The only thing missing is the giant pile of tissues from crying over what an empty, loveless life Luann has.

  137. daChipster
    May 18th, 2005 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    FBoFW: Mrs. Kelpfroth now has a name, Winnie, which I’m guessing is short for Winifred. Winifred and Melville Kelpfroth. ewwww.

    Anyhow, can somebody remind me what Deanna’s mother’s name is? My take on this is just when you think things couldn’t get worse she’ll swoop in soon on her broomstick. Mike will be ready to eat his gun… BUT WAIT!

    As soon as chere maman gets a load of Winnie the Poop we’ll be treated to a battle royale (with cheese) – yes, a cage match to the death of battling bad-a$$ be-otches, with the winner scheduled to face off against Therese for the grand title of Canada’s Queen Bee-otch.

    In short, Deanna’s Mother Dearest oughta pimp-slap Winnie down the street.

    What IS it with Lynn Johnston? She HATES women. Was she badly mauled by an angry PTA mob and this is her way of getting even?

  138. yellojkt
    May 18th, 2005 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    I think Amos went prematurely roadside all over Edda’s Scrabble set. Her years of sexual frustration have ended only to start decades of disappointment.

  139. J.Po
    May 18th, 2005 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    daChipster – I think Mom-From-Hell’s name is Mira. I hate to admit that I know this.

  140. yellojkt
    May 18th, 2005 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    Mike Patterson’s Momzilla-in-law doesn’t even make the cut for a web page write up while Deanna’s old fiance (who better not have ever got any roadside assistance from Deanna or Mike is a bigger wuss than even we have imagined) does.
    If Chipster wants a FBoFW mud wrestling match I want to see Momzilla Sobinski vs Therese. Now there are two stone-cold beyatches on ice. We’d have hair-pullin’, eye-gougin’, and tiddy-twistin’ galore.

  141. daChipster
    May 18th, 2005 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Poor Buck, disowned by his family. But how? Why?

    C: Pa, I’m gonna study out of state. I’m gonna be an archeologist, just like Indiana Jones, my hero, in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

    L: But, Charlie, I need you to help me run our dude ranch (the L&P Ranch, P.O. Box 29, Missoula, MT 59812) Your ma and I built this business up for you, just like the old couple in City Slickers.

    M: Don’t call me Charlie! I hated Willie Wonka. Call me Montana! Montana Jones Foxworth.

    L: Montana’s a girl’s name! What are you, some kind of fairy? Pearl! Come in here! Charlie’s gonna run off and join the university!

    P: Oh, Lenny, say it ain’t so! Charlie, dear, why?

    B: My names, not Charlie! It’s Mon… it’s Buck, like my hero John Candy in Uncle Buck.

    L: Whoever you are, you can’t turn your back on your family farm like you’re Luke Skywalker in Star Wars Episode IV A New Hope.

    B: I hope storm troopers torch you! I’m leaving for a dig, like Dr. Grant in Jurassic Park.

    (Charlie/Montana/Buck slams out!)

    P: Oh, Lenny, go after him. He’s our only son.

    L: Son? I have no son. He’s dead to me now…

    Like Fredo Corleone in Godfather II.

  142. yellojkt
    May 18th, 2005 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    {Coffee on screen, DaChipster}
    Effin’ hilarious. You gotta work in a wardrobe failure for hot little sister, though.

  143. RBF
    May 18th, 2005 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Chip, what an incredible imagination you have and TOOOOOOO FUNNY! I especially love the “Montana Jones” moniker for Charles/Chuck/Buck/Pusboy.

    So what’s “all of the confusion” June is using as an excuse for forgetting his letter? Duh – she must be as easily distracted/discombobulated as Luann in A3G.

    Speaking of which, why isn’t this a school day (Luann IS a teacher). If it’s a weekend, she and her soon-to-be morsel are either gawd-awful suck-ups or just plain dumb… oh, wait.

  144. Anne Nonymous
    May 18th, 2005 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    yellojkt- Mira Sobinski does have her own page at the website you gave; you have to click on “Who’s Who” at the bottom of the page, and you will be taken to a list of a gazillion people in the FBoFW universe, most of whom I don’t even remember. Chipster, you’re on a roll, honey!

  145. Irina
    May 18th, 2005 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    I’m even more embarrassed that I know this, but Mira and Wilf Sobinski do have a largeish mention on the FBOFW site. And although they’re not listed as friends/influences for Deanna, they are listed for Meredith and Robin:

    DTGT: No one’s pointed out that Hutch’s irises have gone AWOL again. Is he a distant cousin to li’l orphan annie, perhaps?

    Chip — we’ll miss you. Please remember us after you’re a big and famous hollywood screenwriter

  146. You Go Girl
    May 18th, 2005 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Yea for Mrs. Kelpforth!

    I hope she gets the Pattersons to keep their snot nosed brat in line. You start letting your kid run around, playing with pots, flying down the hallway on their Big WheelTM, and what happens?

    When they turn to teens they go roadside.


  147. yellojkt
    May 18th, 2005 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    My bad, I found the extended cast and characters page after I posted. Now I have the FBoFW homepage bookmarked. Help me, I have gone over to the Dark Side.

    Momzilla-in-Law Sobinski

    So who has more recurring characters, FBoFW or Doonesbury? In Monday’s Doonesbury, BD called his daughter Sam, “Alex”, which is the name of Mike’s increasingly nubile jailbait daughter. According to Gene Weingarten of WaPo, Alex is 16 and Sam is 13. I don’t know if that is canonical, but Gene implies direct contact with Trudeau. And what is with giving all the young girl characters, boy’s names?

  148. Irina
    May 18th, 2005 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Could anyone post a link to Sunday’s RMMD? Neither Seattle nor Washington carry the Sunday strip, and I wanna check out Buck’s sister.

  149. yellojkt
    May 18th, 2005 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    You have forgotten the manually-edit-the-date-from-the-WaPo-archive-link to-the-daily-strip maneuver, young Jedi. Go with the Force.

    In the interest of prurient comic chick ogling I present the link here.
    Does hot younger sister have a name yet? It seems Chuck/Buck/Pus-Boy has enough to spare.

  150. J.Po
    May 18th, 2005 at 9:13 am [Reply]

  151. J.Po
    May 18th, 2005 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    Nameless-Sister-Of-Pus certainly has that June Morgan chest-thrust-forward thing down, doesn’t she? Wilson and Nolan, unlike us Kardinals, are clearly obsessed with breasts.

    Let’s go look in on those sweater kittens of yours!

  152. J.Po
    May 18th, 2005 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Don’t ask me why I did this, but I went to Rex Morgan’s website and found the following:

    The strip’s realism has made it a valuable resource for health care professionals around the country. The Leahy Foundation used a Rex Morgan series on epilepsy as a teaching tool for professionals and students at Harvard University. The Cuyahoga County Witness/Victim Service Center Family Violence Program in New York used a Rex Morgan segment in its handbook for battered women.

    Don’t you think that in an educational setting or, even more urgently, in an abusive-relationship situation, one would want to have the message delivered in a slightly more concise and timely basis than that of a typical Rex storyline, where airhead June can have a letter in her purse so long as to go through a couple of postal rate increases?

  153. Charles Atlas
    May 18th, 2005 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    You must, you must, you must increase your bust!

    and a good exercise to do that is using a Post Hole Digger.

    You can see where Brandi Foxworth got her generous attributes from.

  154. Mike Donovan
    May 18th, 2005 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    I would like to purchase a “Free Hutch Renfro” t-shirt from Josh Reads Curmudgeon Comics. I got the ‘More Zippers Mule’ shirt for my girl, so I should be considered a VIP customer and have my requests handled quickly.

    I actually went back (good god) and read Gil Thorp from Nov 2004 til now. Now, I’m a huge fan. Well, a huge fan of Josh making fun of it.

  155. yellojkt
    May 18th, 2005 at 9:55 am [Reply]

    Brandi with an i, huh? According to the rules of naming bimbos, misspelling the liquor you’re named after is an automatic penalty of 10 IQ points, but you get to go up a cup size.

  156. J.Po
    May 18th, 2005 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    If Brandy (spelled correctly) from Liberty Meadows were to go up another cup size, I would request that my comics section be delivered to me in Braille.

  157. Flasshe
    May 18th, 2005 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    I had a bad case of excessive klepforth last year, but some ointment (and celibacy) cleared it right up.

    I can’t believe that Lu Ann is allowing a gentleman caller to come into her apartment this early in the relationship. Oh yeah, that’s right, they’re working on a “project” together.

    Who is that woman in Gil Thorp’s bed? I’m not familiar enough with the characters yet. Is that his wife? Or is he just boinking one of the other school coaches? And why does she look deformed, like something is wrong with her shoulders and arms? Maybe it’s a blowup doll and Gil is a ventriloquist.

  158. Noah Webster
    May 18th, 2005 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    I believe that Brandi Chastain spells it with an eye.

    Not all chests are in the cartoons.


    They exist out there in real life.

    Or so I have been told.

  159. freehuey
    May 18th, 2005 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Second the motion for a “Free Hutch Renfro, Brah” shirt. It should definity be illustrated with a picture of hand cuff or a deck of cards. Also cool would be a “What Happens in Milford, Stays in Milford” shirt.

  160. Islamorada Girl
    May 18th, 2005 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    How come when these kids are in trouble, they always call the coach? Doesn’t anyone have parents? Or did they kill them all, with Gil’s help? What happens in Milford stays in Milford indeed!

  161. RBF
    May 18th, 2005 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Mrs. Gil: “Any of my girls there?”

    GT: ” Nah, with the police force busy at Hutch’s, they were nekkid and goin’ roadside down Main Street, charging $20, $40, $100, or combo $150.”

  162. Lassie
    May 18th, 2005 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    I noticed that woman in Gil Thorp’s bed, too, it was disturbing. She looked like the upper half of a manniquin just sort of propped up on the pillow, with the blanket pulled up.

  163. Bill Peschel
    May 18th, 2005 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Gil’s square head reminds me of the family in the cut scenes in Katamari Demancy.

    “Sending to Earth dice … cards … cops …”

  164. PizzaBagel
    May 18th, 2005 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    No matter how in-the-wrong the Pattersons are as parents and neighbors, Lynn Johnston, whose characterizations are notoriously as subtle as a sledgehammer, will depict Winnie Kelpfroth (Has she gotten her page yet in the FBorFW cast o’ characters?) as a mean bee-yutch. Can she make her look more sneery and evil? No matter: I’m siding with Mrs. Thumper in this catfight. And it wouldn’t help Deanna’s case if Mewidith were to choke on one of her tiny toys seen in panel one.

  165. Islamorada Girl
    May 18th, 2005 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    It would seem the wardrobe dept. at FBOFW has neglected to get Evil Winnie a change of outfits. She’s been wearing those white pants and that black shirt for days now. She must be at least a little rank, doncha think?

    Winnie Kelpfroth is my new heroine. I bet she’s Kortney’s mom! Bwa-ha-ha!

  166. Peaches
    May 18th, 2005 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    I want a What Happens in Milford stays in Milford mug! The better to spew coffee all over the screen. Oh, and electric blue, please!

    ‘S funny. Gil Thorp looks like the kind of guy who would sleep in a t shirt and pajama bottons. Who’s he sleeping with who’s worried about her girls? The town madam?

  167. da Pope
    May 18th, 2005 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    She’s been wearing those white pants and that black shirt for days now.

    It is her bad habit.

  168. Bookworm
    May 18th, 2005 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    In Thursday’s Gil Thorp (check out, the kids actually mention parents.

  169. johnwhorfin
    May 18th, 2005 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    Re: today’s Gil Thorp…what are those creatures in the third panel supposed to be? Pod people? And why does pod GT have that scar on his right cheek? Did he scratch himself on his manequin -like bedpartner? So many questions.

  170. Hysterical Woman
    May 20th, 2005 at 5:48 am [Reply]

    “Let’s go look in on that fowl of yours” sounds like some barnyard come-on, doesn’t it? The reply “I already did…and he’s standing now!” is unbelievably filthy. Perhaps Buck was disgusted by his incestal family and left for a place where people don’t talk about roosters as foreplay. Or at least not that way.

  171. Islamorada Girl
    May 20th, 2005 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Sometimes I feel as if I’m impersonating a human being. Is that illegal?

  172. Spork
    September 2nd, 2005 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    I’m a few thousand posts behind with this timely observation, but in Chicago — whence I dwell — the police actually were raiding home poker games in which players were recruited via a Web site, just the way it happened in “Gil Thorp.” In TV parlance, I believe this is known as “ripped from the headlines,” even if the headline in question was on page 12-B.

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