The Comics Curmudgeon

Main content:

Your proof that it gets worse

Luann, 5/29/09

You probably thought that Luann, with its long tradition of stomach-churning will-they-or-won’t-they quasi-romances that manage to simultaneously be ludicrously chaste and all about sex, couldn’t get any squickier. But that was before Luann’s gnomish millionaire paramour announced his intention to impregnate her in front of a classroom full of children.

Mary Worth, 5/29/09

You probably thought that the current Mary Worth storyline, which seems determined to prove that women can’t choose their own life partners on the Internet and should instead acquiesce to be bred to whatever good stock their fathers select for them, couldn’t get any more retrograde and insulting. But that was before Detective Scott, who almost certainly makes significantly less than Dr. Adrian, informed her in no uncertain terms that her economic autonomy was not something that was going to be troubling her any longer.

Beetle Bailey, 5/29/09

You probably thought that Sarge’s sexual life — in which he is constantly fending off advances from Sgt. Lugg, while sublimating his forbidden lust for Beetle through acts of increasingly desperate violence — was pretty depressing. But that was before a coloring error made it appear that he was forced to endure sexual harassment from General Halftrack’s wife.

Non-comics-related update: Special last-minute probably-already-sold-out Josh public appearance information!

This entry was posted on Friday, May 29, 2009 at 12:12 pm and is filed under Beetle Bailey, Luann, Mary Worth. |

210 responses to “Your proof that it gets worse”

Death to the FOOBS!
May 29th, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

Re: Luann…I think the reproduction storyline is a red herring; he will, instead, fund some kind of uber-library/daycare center which he will select Luann to run. Why, they’ll even be a place for that li’l ‘ol costume maker Gunther, you watch!
Then she will love him!
ScienceGiant
May 29th, 2009 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

Holy crap! Did a medical doctor just say “It’s nice to feel taken care of for a change?”

Mary Worth: you can’t spell medicine without meddle…
Dragon of Life
May 29th, 2009 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

Adrian attempts to snag the bill with her spider-webbing, fails — but at least owns up to being a complete codependent tool, putting her one up on newspaper Spidey.
Nate
May 29th, 2009 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

Why is the waiter behind Adrian just facing the wall like a goon? My guess? He’s overhearing this entire exchange between them and is either a) trying not to bust out laughing, or b) selecting just the right wine bottle to break over Adrian’s head.
Death to the FOOBS!
May 29th, 2009 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

Y’know, rather than “love,” Sarge could just say “40-zero” (but then Zero would be drooling over him).
ScienceGiant
May 29th, 2009 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

Oops, sorry about mistaking the physician’s lack of compassion. On rereading it, I see Adrian clearly means “It’s nice to feel taken care OF for a change… not just taken.”
Scruffylove
May 29th, 2009 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

Yeah, we’ll see how relieved Adrian is when the good detective returns to the table a minute later to tell her that there was an issue with his credit card because someone stole his identity. Sheesh, Adrian, at least wait until the bill is actually paid before delightfully handing over your freedoms as an independent woman.
TheCasey
May 29th, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

Re: Mr. Jones, YThread 72 – Woof!
Hairhead
May 29th, 2009 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

Luann – The Evil Gnome probably has a baby sister or three he needs to have taken care of — and he’ll insist that Luann should do it for free, because then she’ll be good like him, and then . . . .

Aargh! Curse you, Greg Evans!
kkarenb
May 29th, 2009 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan – Well, to begin with, normal people’s four day cruises don’t last six months.
Does that last panel mean that this story is finally over? But they didn’t find Willy’s father yet. That should drag it out for another couple of months.
JupiterPluvius
May 29th, 2009 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

And then there’s today’s FOOB, in which a leering waiter hits on cock-teasing Ellie, much to her delight. Some days I just pray for Skynet to become self-aware, because firefights with murderous androids have to be better than this.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 29th, 2009 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

YA SRSLY (Stopping that right now.)
Is that supposed to be Louise Lugg? I didn’t even realize it, and was wondering how Sarge got to be tennis mates with Mrs. Halftrack. Easy to blame the coloring gnomes, but when the characters are nearly identical in all other respects, accidents are gonna happen.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
May 29th, 2009 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

Jeez, I hate it when my driver honks at me while I’m in the flippin’ library talking to my next teenaged sperm receptacle.
Scruffylove
May 29th, 2009 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

@13–It’s okay, I think he told his driver to do that so that he wouldn’t actually have to talk to her. He just wanted to size her up and return to the bridge that he lives under.
Comrade Denny
May 29th, 2009 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

MW: Just wait till we learn that Det. Scott is paying for dinner with the kickbacks he takes for overlooking violations of the Chaterstone HOA By-laws. Then we will see meddling like we’ve never seen before. Meanwhile in the background, a lonely waiter stares at the corporate wall art while he urinates in the corner.

DT: I am officially freaked out by the King of Clubs and his cold dead stare, almost as freaked out as by Dick’s look of eye-popping gratitude in yesterday’s strip. Still, I kind of like the King’s aggressive, hands-on management style. I sometimes wish corporate would come and gun down some of our more overweening managers.

Questions for the A-Lazing Spider-Sham: Why would it be any faster to run downstairs on the walls than on the stairs themselves? And with your ability jump/fall (usually fall) long distances without injury, why wouldn’t you just jump from flight to flight if your goal is speed? Additionally, don’t you have to be in stocking feet to get them to stick? Finally, why do you suck?
Calico
May 29th, 2009 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

I thoought that little Elvis in Luann was going to an AA meeting-”That’s my driver, blah blah…I lost my license for 3 months!”
Lorem Ipsum
May 29th, 2009 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

Since when did Barbara Bush play tennis with noncoms?
Gonzo
May 29th, 2009 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

bb – Why are they playing tennis using what appears to be an opaque piece of fiberglass with a grad scratched onto it instead of a net? Or is being a floating half-torso some sort of obscure tennis strategy?
Yelliott
May 29th, 2009 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

Hey, Luann’s got tits on her hat!
Clint
May 29th, 2009 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

If anyone ever needed an argument against heterosexuality, today there are three.
bats :[
May 29th, 2009 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

Well, I could rail about inappropriate wait-staff in Canadian eateries, but after seeing several of Mr. O’Malley’s c. 1950s LA Times funny pages with Mary Worth at her most formidable, I am more annoyed by the talking heads and her sedate tones in the recent plot. Maybe Mary *has* lost her venomous edge…that would be a dark day indeed.
So, I’m going to rail about Santa Royalian eateries instead, and the people who frequent them:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3575780907/sizes/o/
Uncle Lumpy
May 29th, 2009 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

These people deserve one another — but not in that combination!

Elvis and Det. Scott should get locked up together in an unending spiral of glossy condescension punctuated by violent attempts at sexual dominance.

In Sgt. Lugg, Adrian will find a woman at ease with her career and her sexuality, able to hold her own in a world of men, and more than able to hold her own woman.

And Luann deserves Sgt. Snorkel. Because Gunther’s too good for her, but also because she just does.
dimestore lipstick
May 29th, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

Funky Cancerdeath is making my head throb. First off–Why is Summer taking this test? There is no way any school would put a student into a class taught by the kid’s parent.

Second–her flashback would indicate that she’s taking a math test, but isn’t Les an English teacher?
Aesop
May 29th, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

You know, I was extremely confused (and slightly disturbed) when I read Beetle Bailey today, until I realized that it was only a coloring error that made it look like the General’s wife was coming on to Sarge.
Lolsworth
May 29th, 2009 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

So she’s deliberately losing just to make him say “love”? Which says what about General Halftrack himself? This is a comic full of damaged people. It’s almost as depressing as Funky Winkerbean.
Sister Sestina
May 29th, 2009 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

Good lord, could movement lines BE any more obnoxious than in Mary Worth today? What kind of aggressive snatching must have produced that comet tail, the bill still quivering from the shock of it? Even if/when it’s “nice to be taken care of for a change” it’s unsettling to have it done with all the suavity of a Gestapo confiscation.

Also unsettling: that little kid bidding farewell to Elvis with “Bye, Mr. Luann!” No wonder Luann is glassy-eyed with speculative dread…
Astroboy
May 29th, 2009 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

Who’s designing Adrian’s dresses, Rorshach?
mollificent
May 29th, 2009 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

Josh, GREAT snark today.

BF: Is it restraining-order time yet?

MW: Something about today’s strip made me laugh uproariously (not so great when you’re sitting in a coffeeshop with WiFi). Detective Salmon-Boy just strikes me funny for some reason. He seems like he’s about to back her up against the wall and have his forceful way with her, which I wouldn’t normally object to…except the ensuing color clash would cause some sort of massive explosion, raining death and destruction all around.

Phantom: Checking out her ass while she’s giving emergency medical assistance. Classy, Ghost-Who-Ogles.

P.S. I retooled my Chron page again today…got rid of Close to Home (not consistently funny enough to justify the bad art), Get Fuzzy (it’s been months since I enjoyed anything but the Sunday strips), Mallard Fillmore (should’ve done this during the last purge), and Snuffy Smith (meh).

I also deleted both 9CL and Pibgorn from my bookmarks…even though I’d got rid of 9CL on my Chron page, I still had it in my comics folder “just in case”, and ended up reading it most days anyway. But frankly, I just can’t be bothered with it anymore unless I read comments that make me want to actively seek it out. And the last few weeks of “Pibgorn” have been so unrelentingly obnoxious that I don’t even want to be tempted anymore.

I feel cleansed. Again. ;)
Ranger
May 29th, 2009 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

MW: Its ok Josh, not only is Det Scott from “good stock”, he is also a Jedi. Notice how he force pulled the check right out from under Adrian’s hand. The question now is, who is his real father?

H&J: Oh Jamal, don’t be so stupid. Everyone knows a tomato is a fruit.
Patrick
May 29th, 2009 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Detective Scott just knew that splitting the check would take longer, thus further disturbing the guy in back’s bath in a tub full of ferns.
Digger
May 29th, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

BB: I’m not sure what’s more surprising, that a woman finds Sarge sexually appealing, or that he is actually winning at tennis.

Luann: I want Luann to have a vision of the future where she sees a horde of greasy mini-Elvises running around wearing nothing but Stinkbug hats.
Alan's Addiction
May 29th, 2009 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

What’s with this new Luann story line? Is that male character a kid? A midget? Why would he be interested in Luann? Will I really be curious enough in the answers to keep reading until this story’s conclusion? Well, at least we’ll be spared TJ’s horrible, constant grin.
Yes, Adrian, I’d like you to be “taken care of,” too. Of course, I’m using it in the Mob-euphemism sense, as in, “Adrian, I’d like you and the bizarre, subtly mysogenistic themes you bring to Mary Worth to die a fast death so that we can get back to the things we all really love about Mary Worth, like Dr. Jeff’s clinginess, or Aldo-mania.”
You can see the shame on Sarge’s face as he admits to knowing the concept of “love.” Sarge is really just a human-like machine designed to deliver punishment to his subordinates, and admitting to any sort of human concepts or emotions is deeply galling.
Charterstoned
May 29th, 2009 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

MW – I like how the patrons in the background are nibbling on the plants.
Sarah
May 29th, 2009 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

a. coloring error? It looks like Sarge is blushing – I don’t think that’s an error.

b. Tommie appears to have overdosed on Botox, this week.
Charterstoned
May 29th, 2009 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

MW – The waiter, sent to the corner for a “time out,” clenches his fists in barely suppressed rage. “Revenge,” he thinks to himself, “is a dish that is best served cold.”
Winky's Spleen
May 29th, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

Luann – Sentence diagramming alert: Surely what happened is that the little guy “announced, in front of a classroom full of children, his intention to impregnate her”. Because if he really does plan to get her pregnant in front of an audience of children, well, that would be squicky.

But maybe he’s just gauging how she’d be with the children from his various previous marriages?
commodorejohn
May 29th, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

#31 Digger – I think that may actually be Elwood’s plan. Perhaps he’s assessing her for her potential as mother to his legions of midget soldiers, with which he will besiege and storm the Capitol, only to have to go mano a mano with staunch Obama supporter Delta, who has grown into a doppelganer for Zoe from Firefly.

No, wait, that would be way too exciting to happen in Luann.
Anonymous
May 29th, 2009 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

Sarge is taking the phrase “love that dare not speak its name” a bit too literally.
dimestore lipstick
May 29th, 2009 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

Ranger
H&J: Oh Jamal, don’t be so stupid. Everyone knows a tomato is a fruit.

Exactly. That’s why he should have asked them to double the pickles and onions.
Sarah
May 29th, 2009 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

Anyone else notice the typo in Sunday’s start to this week’s arc in Judge Parker? I was trying to figure out why Neddy would be trying out for cheerleading while she is studying art (that is what she’s doing, right?)…
bats :[
May 29th, 2009 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

35. Charterstoned: and with a nice Shiraz.
NoVan
May 29th, 2009 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

I dunno about Mary Worth. Having the young professional tossed from man to man like a romantic rag doll, for the smirking satisfaction of desperately bored retirees, sounds entertaining to me. But I’ll probably eat those words.
Will
May 29th, 2009 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

MW: The waiter, having been caught trying to preposition a customer, is forced to stand in the corner and think about what he did.
Calico
May 29th, 2009 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

#35 – No, no, It’s “Revenge is like serving cold cuts.” : )

And Sgt. Bush in Beetle has a MoFo for Sarge!
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
May 29th, 2009 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

MW: The last few days they’ve been leaning SO HEAVILY on the idea that Mr. Detective is a swell guy from a good family that I can only conclude that he too will turn out to be pond scum. I mean, it IS Mary Worth, but what with the FORESHADOW FORESHADOW FORESHADOW, I’d just be disappointed if tomorrow’s strip is “and then they got married and lived happily ever after”.

So Mr. Detective will end up pond scum, and we’ll learn that wise-ass Dr. Jeff is no better at making choices for his daughter than she is. We will all learn a valuable lesson about trust, at the expense of poor Adrian’s re-broken heart.

Perhaps Adrian will also learn a valuable lesson about the dangers of taking your hairstyle from 1980s-era Swing Out Sister.
Esther Blodgett
May 29th, 2009 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

Will somebody please explain what the joke in today’s Argyle Sweater is supposed to be? Not that it bothers me so much to not get the joke, but the fact that I’m still thinking about today’s Argyle Sweater more than five seconds after reading it really pisses me off.
Stroker Ace
May 29th, 2009 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

BB – Have Sgt Lugg & General Halftrack’s wife ever appeared in the same panel?
Pozzo
May 29th, 2009 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

At least it will be over soon for Dr. Adrian — once that disembodied arm that’s sneaking up on her gets through choking her to death.
Calico
May 29th, 2009 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

#46 – I think it has something to do with Dracula – cute lil’ Count doll (a La The Count on Sesame Street), but it keeps biting at the kid’s neck.
Other than that, I’m at a total loss.
thurston unger
May 29th, 2009 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

MW: Ah, Bunne, I wondered whatever happened to Corinne Drewery and now we know: when her pop career ran off the rails she took her ill gotten gains, changed her name, earned a medical degree, somehow kidnaped and disposed of the real Adrian Cory, and now conspires to further disappoint her unwitting adopted father, thus sullying the real Adrian’s reputation, and setting up the real Adrian’s dramatic and triumphant return, which in time will be marred when it’s revealed the real Adrian Cory is
Violet
May 29th, 2009 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

I can’t believe Gary asked Tommie to marry him. Does he think they don’t have girls in Denver?
commodorejohn
May 29th, 2009 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

#49 Calico – See, that would seem like a reasonable interpretation, but…what does the matryoshka thing have to do with it? Is there a way to interpret the…”punchline” to make it funny in a ha-ha gag-strip type of way, or is it just supposed to be some sort of bizarre vignette of a child’s disappointment with a toy? I’ve been trying to figure this one out all morning, and it steadfastly refuses to make any kind of sense whatsoever.
un malpaso
May 29th, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

Re: MW:
Finally, an actual plot emerges from this seething stock pot of weak broth and aphorisms. But, like I said in my earlier rant… it’s too little, too late. Much as I do want to see Dr. Jeff’s smugness properly rubbed in his face so we can “all learn a valuable lesson about trust” in #45/Li’l Bunnë’s apt words…. the ham-handed storytelling has smothered any enthusiasm I could possibly muster for Dr. Jeff’s comeuppance.

I would call this a squandered opportunity for the strip to tell a decent story and impart a wise message. But then I would be damned unto Hell for taking Mary Worth seriously as a dramatic device, when it really should be given the same attention one would bestow on a ketchup packet label.
Poteet
May 29th, 2009 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

DT — So is One-Eyed Jack dead? Has anyone bothered to check his pulse? And how many times did Jack carry out the robbed-winners plan before King and/or the police caught on? Wouldn’t it have been pretty easy to catch on after the first time, for anyone with an IQ over 70? And what about *mmph!* *MMMPH!*

This is Poteet’s newly-installed Futile Rant Automatic Terminator. A Futile Rant has been detected. This rant has now been terminated.
Squid Vicious
May 29th, 2009 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

The subtext:

“Adrian…You’d better get used to it (or I’ll punch you in the mouth)!”

And thus, my friends, begins Karen Moy’s rebuttal to Jack Elrod’s late-winter apologia of domestic violence.
un malpaso
May 29th, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

BTW, just checked out the Argyle Sweater panel everyone’s talking about and… I broke my mind trying to fit it into any kind of conceptual sense.
This comic makes Zippy look like Reader’s Digest in terms of basic comprehensibility.
druidbros
May 29th, 2009 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

MW – Surely Adrian will now be dominated by Scott as he ‘takes care of her’. Which will involve her giving up her job, losing contact with all her friends, and having to ask permission to go out and get the mail. ….and dont call me Shirley!
druidbros
May 29th, 2009 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

MW Part II – …and I hope Adrian got a warranty on the frontal lobotomy.
Saluki
May 29th, 2009 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

Curtis: For a good time go to google images and enter “hootchie mama”.

Juggs Parker: Is it just me or does the last panel look like a poster for a women’s prison movie?
Hibbleton
May 29th, 2009 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

RMMD: no wonder this cruise is taking so long. The ship can’t go faster than a knot. It has decks going all the way down to the waterline.
LaSalle
May 29th, 2009 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

Adding to the creepiness, Luann’s little suitor strongly reminds me of the guy from “Where Are you Going, Where Have you Been” by Joyce Carol Oates. Small, greasy, booted, pushy…actually, this may work out for the best.
150
May 29th, 2009 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

Didn’t Ted make Adrian feel taken care of? Isn’t that what the whole “Queenie” thing was about? Every single day this comic kills me a little more.
Amanda M
May 29th, 2009 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth: Okay, maybe Scott isn’t a vampire. However, judging by the ectoplasm streaming out of his checkbook, he appears to be a ghost. Next thing you know, the ghostbusters will come in and suck him into their vacuum thingy and Adrian will fall in love with one of THEM.
Cranky
May 29th, 2009 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

That’s the funniest three-for-three in a long time. (A nice palate cleanser after a long week of debating Marvin’s greatest affront to human dignity and Dennis’ unfortunate lack of menacing.)

And would someone on the Mary Worth set please turn off that bright blue light that’s above center stage? It’s reflecting badly on already notorious haircuts.
Comrade Denny
May 29th, 2009 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

I keep getting Ted and Adrian confused with Ted and Aria. I have to remember that in Sally Forth Ted is the Adrian to Aria’s Ted, except that rather than getting into Ted’s bank account, she wants to get into his pants and stroke his sleek, slender … wrists! WRISTS!
Anonymous
May 29th, 2009 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

Can somebody explain BC for me like I’m three?
Baka Gaijin
May 29th, 2009 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

#Y50 Sequitur: OMG! Ruthie really ripped a jughead then dribbled the ziggy! Ha ha ha ha ha ha HA!

#Y112 Alan: I thought the sexuality was pretty fragrant when Miss Buxley was humping the tree on Earth Day or something.
Squid Vicious
May 29th, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

The bird character is the biological version of Twitter, and it goes around mouthing other characters’ Tweets. In this case, Thor gave Cute Chick flowers and she tweeted it. Fat Broad heard the tweet just after receiving flowers from Thor and, in a fit of jealousy and rage, broke two of his limbs.

This is Johnny Hart’s response to Karen Moy’s rebuttal of Jack Elrod’s exegisis on the pleasures of domestic violence.
Sequitur
May 29th, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

54 Poteet – Gee, Poteet. Is that model YU400FU or the new YU500FUX which automaticly shuts down your server?
survivor
May 29th, 2009 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

Am I the only one baffled by Luann’s outfit?

Let’s see …

Black sweatsuit? check.
Hospital gown shirt? check.
Giant bow tie? check.
Giant Wool Hat with a dice in the back and tits in the front? check.
Comrade Denny
May 29th, 2009 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

#66 Anonymous:

Thor gave flowers to two different women. When the twitter-bird informed the ugly girl that Thor had done so, the ugly girl beat him up. Ugly girls are violent, you see. Thor then time traveled (not depicted), perhaps by using his magical hammer (not pictured) and got treatment, gauze, and plaster-casts from a 20th century hospital before returning to his epoch. Perhaps hoping for a sympathy BJ, he then went to the pretty girl who had liked his flowers so much she felt compelled to twitter about it.
Darkefang
May 29th, 2009 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

I apologize if this has already been discussed, but does any of the “Sophie tries out to be a cheerleader” plotline make a lick of sense?

First of all, everyone keeps saying that Sophie is trying to take Marcie Young’s spot on the team. What kind of weird school is this where they hold one-on-one tryouts, instead of just taking the girls who make the best squad?

Secondly, being on academic probation at this school means you can participate in sports until someone defeats you in some kind of cheerleading duel?

How is this Marcie even the team captain if they haven’t held the tryouts yet? Team captains in high school sports are always seniors. Is Marcie a fifth-year senior?

“Bookworm” is really the worst term the angry mothers could come up with to slander Sophie?

Finally, unlike other sports teams, there’s no limit to how many cheerleaders a school can have. If their coach has set a cap, maybe the angry moms should be yelling at them instead of the school principal, who, after day after day of worrying about state-wide education budget cuts and test scores, probably doesn’t give two craps about the cheerleading squad.

Sure, the accuracy of the legal and political goings-on in Judge Parker is spotty at best, but there’s at least an internal logic that the reader can follow. On the other hand, this storyline makes me question whether or not the writer ever attended high school, or has even met anyone who did.
Merry Worthless
May 29th, 2009 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

I’m really really hoping that Dr. Adriane is using that well-bred detective as revenge against the entire male sex. I want her to start in with the “Oh, Detective Salmonsuit, my poor dad needs $50k for his Peace Village!” And then she’ll take the money and run.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
May 29th, 2009 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

thurston unger – Well, you prompted me to look it up. I really liked their 1994 release (and can it really have been that long ago?), but haven’t checked out anything since. Well, HELLO, there’s a new Swing Out Sister album, just released in the US this week, and it’s #5 on the Billboard Jazz charts.

Who knew my snarkery was so topical? And not only that, but it seems that Corrinne Drewery, after abandoning the look in the 90s, has returned to the severe pageboy look.
Baka Gaijin
May 29th, 2009 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

bats :[ : I love the Mary Worth you chose for the first panel. That evil look is priceless. Is that picture flipped, just like Mary’s wig?
MinorAgentofChaos
May 29th, 2009 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

Oh, go ON, Adrian, give in to the inevitable conclusion of this father-approved match. Take ruthless advantage of the good Doctor Scott’s generousity, make him pay that high price for your inevitable Wedded Deflowering, then skewer him in divorce court for half of everything he’s got.
ConcreteQueen
May 29th, 2009 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

“Adrian…you’d better get used to it. If I can afford this cantaloupe coat of hideousness I can certainly afford dinner to buy you dinner on our first date. By the way, have I told you what a lovely dress that is?”
Steve S
May 29th, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

In Panel 1 of Mary Worth, that’s not a waiter on the left. He’s facing the wall and his hands are bound together. Clearly Detective Scott has found time to bust a perp while simultaneously eating lunch and brutally patronizing a lady doctor. He is a catch!
Anonymous
May 29th, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

Proof, if you need it, that Rex Morgan is the whitest white man in the comics comes Saturday, when we see him on the pool deck, relaxing with a cocktail with bikini’d wife June, while wearing a white dress shirt and electric blue suit. Yep, he’s Whitey McWhiteguy, all right.
Islamorada Girl
May 29th, 2009 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

Hey! That anonymous was me! First half-amusing comment I make in weeks and I lost my own name. . .
Amateur
May 29th, 2009 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

MW: Well, call me old-fashioned, but I don’t start bewailing the loss of my freedom every time a date offers to pick up the check. Geesh.
Calico
May 29th, 2009 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

#52 – It’s more like the Brothers Grimm to me, I guess!
At least there’s no human-in-a-rolling-barrel-full-of-spikes thing going on – that’s reserved for Margo Magee and Mary Worth to execute on the unfortunate humans who cross their paths.
Sequitur
May 29th, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

#46 Esther Blodgett & #49 Calico – Darn it. You got me thinking about the Argyle Sweater. So maybe writing this will get it off my mind.

I’m not sure if this has anything to do with the punch line but Matryoshka dolls are those Russian doll within a doll within a doll within a doll dolls. On close examination I do notice little fang marks on the kid’s neck. So, Calico, I think you’re on the right track. Is it funny? If you have to think this long about it, and have this many questions, probably not. Maybe there should be a Argyle Sweater for Dummies books. Then again, I really wouldn’t want someone wasting their time writing such a book when they could be ~~wasting time~~ taking advantage of the wit and wisdom of this blog.

As Buddy Ryan on Night Court said, “I feeling much better now!”
bats :[
May 29th, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

75. Baka Gaijin: I don’t think that was flipped (I erased the original caption, which included the priceless “Capisce?”), nor did I mess with the colors, aside from the lipstick and the fangs. That came from the Good Old Days of Aldo the Stalker…
I think it would make a great t-shirt. (“Don’t f*ck with me. I’m Mary Worth.”)
Calico
May 29th, 2009 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

#52 – Got it! The coffins are contained within each other, like this type of doll, of which I actually have a set from the 50’s/60’s:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matryoshka_doll

I know then as Bubushka, not Matryoshka.

Good call, dude! : D
Comrade Denny
May 29th, 2009 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

#81 – Amateur:

I don’t think she’s bewailing anything. In fact, she seems to be celebrating her loss of autonomy.

It occurs to me that Mary Worth isn’t a soap strip at all, but rather speculative fiction. After the revolution, Santa Royale in general and Charterstone in particular became the bolo where all the repressed, uptight, conformitarian meddlers went.
Calico
May 29th, 2009 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

#83 – F me, I just read your comment! TY!
Sans Sense
May 29th, 2009 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

Luann:

“I wanted to see how you are with children.”

TAKE ONE: Let’s see here, skips through bug book. Condescends. Ignores them to bathe in the glow of two admirers. Yep, she’s as selfish around them as everywhere else.
Chicago Bob
May 29th, 2009 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

BB: If that is Mrs. Halftrack, this could be like From Here To Eternity if Burt Lancaster & Ernest Borgnine switched roles.

43: You’re right Will. Hopefully he will soon end his sentence for the preposition.
Sans Sense
May 29th, 2009 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

Luann:

“I wanted to see how you are with children.”

TAKE TWO: But the rest of the book…the rest of the book — It’s a cookbook!
Baka Gaijin
May 29th, 2009 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

#84 bats :[ : I still think Mary’s flipped her wig.
Amateur
May 29th, 2009 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

#86 — No, I know she’s not. I was referring to commenters here. Treating a woman to dinner, even a woman who earns her own living, can be just a nice and gentlemanly thing to do and not a sign of OMG HE’S GOING TO LOCK HER IN THE BASEMENT AND DOMINATE HER LIFE FOREVERMORE.

Now, if he were Tom Cruise, I’d be worried.
Rhekarid
May 29th, 2009 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

“Adrian…you’d better get used to it! With my new powers of telekinesis, you’re going to have to get used to a lot of things.”
commodorejohn
May 29th, 2009 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

#92 Amateur – But he’s endorsed by Mary Worth. If that isn’t a red flag, I don’t know what is.
Little Guy
May 29th, 2009 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Wait…. is that Ted Forth?
Sequitur
May 29th, 2009 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

I’d hate to be endorsed by Mary Worth. That must hurt like hell.
Sequitur
May 29th, 2009 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

95 Little Guy – I’m on to your tricks. You’re not making me look at FOOB a second time.
Amateur
May 29th, 2009 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

#94 — Yes, that part IS a problem.
Comrade Denny
May 29th, 2009 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

#92 – Amateur:

Sorry to misunderstand your point.

I can only speak for myself, but what I found offensive wasn’t his offer to take the check. (In truth, I think the good detective is quite nice to pickup the tab, especially when you consider that his salary is probably a third of hers.) Rather, I take offense at her effusive, hand-over-heart “It’s nice to feel taken care of” response, which in the context of everything preceding it, simply reinforces this arc’s theme of a grown woman not being able to, or even wanting to, take care of herself.
Sheila Sternwell
May 29th, 2009 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

BB: I found a 2-year-old Joshpost that has Sgt Lugg in it:

http://joshreads.com/?p=1061

If Josh hadn’t said anything today, I never would have even remembered there WAS a Sgt Lugg, let alone that this was supposed to be her.

dimestore lipstick: “There is no way any school would put a student into a class taught by the kid’s parent.”

My dad was a math teacher, so sadly I can confirm that yes, schools sometimes WILL put kids into a class where the parent is the teacher. Thank god he was only substituting for part of the semester.
Sequitur
May 29th, 2009 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

100 Sheila Sternwell – Good find on Sgt. Lugg but the less seen of Lugg the better. I hope you found that through a Google search and didn’t go back on this blog day after day after day after day…
littlefox
May 29th, 2009 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

#92 and #99

I agree. It’s the second panel of Mary Worth that’s offensive, both Adrian’s line and Scott’s response. The body language, the language itself … it’s … uggghhhhhoplkjkfgn. If you just look at the picture and not the words, it almost looks like Scott is angrily threatening her, which just adds a whole level of weird.
Astroboy
May 29th, 2009 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

MW – It wasn’t the waiter in the corner that caught my eye among the background Santa Royalians, but that couple behind Adrian and Salmonsuit.

First they’re grinning knoingly at each other, then the woman’s head disappears and the man is looking downwards.

Little table action at the Bum Boat or wherever the hell they are?
Sequitur
May 29th, 2009 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

Hey! I heard a goat joke! Who’s the goat person around here, True Fable? If you’ve heard this or offended by this then I’m sorry and my evil twin posted it.

THE SETTING: A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar,

talking to a young man.

Old Man: “Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it’s built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo..”

Then the old man gestured at the bar. “Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin’ back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo…”

Then the old man points out the window. “Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo…”

Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention.

“But ya fuck one goat . . . ”

————
True story.
Isringhomerun
May 29th, 2009 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

What I find more horrifying in today’s Beetle is the prospect of Sarge being pursued by this ghoulish torso-beast, who clearly wants him to give some attention to whatever mind-melting deformity she’s packing below the net-cord.
JHPants
May 29th, 2009 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

Speaking of goats…
Bard
May 29th, 2009 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

Yeah, I’ve got a vague interest in tennis just because I’m looking for things that approach the anime-geek speechifiability of the term “forty-love”. Or “John McEnroe”.
Bryan
May 29th, 2009 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: I wonder how many other noncoms Mrs. Halftrack has had affairs with. Ever since the General got injured during the war, he hasn’t been able to seal the deal in the bedroom.

Between Friends: I’ll admit to not paying too much attention to this strip, but has there ever been a decent male character on it? All I remember is Crazy Abusive Stalker Man and now it’s Mr. I Screen Your Calls and Pound My Meat With Your Soiled Panties Over My Face. I think he’s going to be Mr. No Scootch, though.

Crankshaft: Hey, check out the bra-strap action on the girl behind Mindy. Well played, Batiuk.

Hagar the Horrible: Too bad ice and club soda haven’t been invented yet.

Judge Parker: I love the vice principal lady. I don’t see how this is working though. What would happen is that the cheerleaders and the moms would conspire to let Sophie try out and then say, “Sorry, you don’t make the cut!”

Spiderman: How do Spidey’s wall-crawling abilities work through his loafers, anyway?
Mooninite
May 29th, 2009 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

re: Luann
I can’t stop parsing “intention to impregnate her in front of a classroom full of children” as meaning that the conception would take place in front of a classroom full of children. I mean, after a re-read, I understood, but…yeah. You’re welcome for the mental image.
FE
May 29th, 2009 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

Detective Scott can afford to pick up the check because he has already negotiated a handsome dowry from Dr. Jeff.
Fashion Police
May 29th, 2009 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

#79/80, Anonymous Islamorada Girl:
At least Dr. Morgan is fashionably retro. In the really edgy strips like Apartment 3-G and Mary Worth, burnt orange is the new electric blue.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 29th, 2009 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

BF: Classic emotional manipulation. The man’s a pro. KICK HIS ASS TO THE CURB, girlfriend. </oprah>

C’haft: Montoni’s is the answer to fuckin’ EVERYTHING in Cancerville, isn’t it? If this was a real pizza chain, I’d accuse Batiuk of selling out.

FC: I feel sorry for those who read this strip in black-and-white, and were treated to the spectacle of Billy and his mother floating in a featureless white limbo. It’s enough to make one lose… one’s… hurrrrlllp
No, sorry, I guess that’s the humor.

thorps. Awww, A-Twain gonna cwy? Gonna cwy, widdle baby? C’mon, cwy!

PmP: Wow, Ted Koppel’s really fallen a long way.

6C: I do not understand this.
gnome de blog
May 29th, 2009 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

10 kkarenb – They can cruise until June runs out of bikinis.
MsCynical
May 29th, 2009 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

SF: Sally’s mother is a terrible, terrible woman, but this week makes me think she’s right about Ted. This co-worker baits him about cheating on his wife with Aria, and then hides behind the plants to eavesdrop on the conversation with Aria to get more juicy gossip for the office rumor mill, and Ted actually tries to talk with him. No, Ted, the correct response is to hit this jerk repeatedly in the face with your tiny, tiny girl-fists.
Deena in OR
May 29th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

@Dimestore Lipstick,

I have to concur with Sheila Sternwell on the schools thing. I grew up in the military Dependents Schools system. Not only was my dad my elementary school principal for 7 years (K – 6), but I had my mom for a subsitute quite frequently. Both my younger brothers had her for Geography and Civics in high school.

Small schools are like that. You learn to deal.
RobertHuman
May 29th, 2009 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

I love Luann’s outfit – the Kermit hat, the huge bowtie, and that feces-patterned T-shirt over an all black outfit. Then again it’s mandatory dress code if you teach at “Children of the Damned Primary School”.
Scruffylove
May 29th, 2009 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

Yeah, #92, it’s Adrian’s statement and the fact that she was just taken by one dude and is now openly telling a dud (typo and it stays) that she wants to be taken care of that seem ridiculous–not that Det. Scott is buying her dinner.
She seems more than willing to throw away her independence.
Hibbleton
May 29th, 2009 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

What happened to Sarge’s hand that in the last panel he’s got the racket sticking out of a hole in his stump?
gnome de blog
May 29th, 2009 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

Did anybody else notice that Mark Trail’s hands are just as tiny as Ted Forth’s? Fists o’ Justice indeed. LoFo villians got glass jaws.
pccmdoc
May 29th, 2009 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

I’m 42, I run marathons, I still can challenge my kids in many activities…but until today’s description of Luann, I didn’t feel truly over the hill and out of touch.

I had to look up the definition of ’squickier.’ And the fact that after 118+ comments no one else seems to have needed to, just shows how not with-it, I am.

Now, I’ll just get back to commiserating with Crankshaft, and my good friends the Pluggers. Good-day.
True Fable
May 29th, 2009 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

#106 JHPants – GOAT! Baby goat video!
UncleJeff
May 29th, 2009 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

120 pccmdoc: Don’t feel bad. There are many days where I’ve read the comments here and thought: am I getting old?
But then I go on to the next batch o’comments and feel much better!
True Fable
May 29th, 2009 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

As one might expect of Greater Metropolitan Roopville, just about every teacher has a child in school, and there just isn’t a way to get around having to teach your own kid sometimes.

When I was a tad, our eighth grade math teacher had a son in our class, and our Freshman English teacher had a daughter in the class. There was no special treatment given to them at all; they were just another student. The offspring either called their mothers “Mrs. Robertson” or “Mrs. Savage” as the case may be, or they just didn’t use any kind of identification at all. Rarely did they say “Mom” during classtime.

They were also very well behaved at school because they knew they’d really catch hell when they got home, if they weren’t.
teenchy
May 29th, 2009 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

#109: After reading this all I can think of is the sex-ed scene from Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life. “Name two ways of getting them flowing, Watson.”
Sequitur
May 29th, 2009 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

Elwood (that’s Elvis to his friends) owns a day care center and wants to offer Luann a summer job. Had to see how she was with kids first.
Rusty
May 29th, 2009 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

#108: Between friends: The other two lead characters are married to seldom-seen male wallflowers. But to be fair, they are Canadians, and are adhering to the FOOB stereotype.
Angry Kem
May 29th, 2009 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

If any comic deserves to be medievalised, it’s today’s Mary Worth.

Today’s strips are just irritating the hell out of me. I can’t even say why. One obviously annoying thing I have noticed is that the Archie people are pulling a Foob and having Jughead laugh at his own joke in the final panel. Why does anyone ever think this is a good idea? It’s like inserting an extremely loud laugh track into a TV show with no funny bits in it.
Aitherion
May 29th, 2009 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

126 socialite paris hilton: Wow, check out the latest on the hotel socialite! The stuff they say about her really makes you think, doesn’t it?
Annon
May 29th, 2009 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

AS Argyle Sweater: Two jokes that don’t work for the price of one.
McMoooncattie
May 29th, 2009 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

#104 Sequitur – A fine wee bit of humor there, aye, but I do believe the setting is in Wales, lad!
Poteet
May 29th, 2009 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

# 69 Sequitur — It’s actually model YU400FY, a new version modified to serve as a training device. If futile rants shrink in quantity and length, it shuts off the “stifle” feature, and eventually it disengages altogether.

I like the goat joke.
crampton hodnet
May 29th, 2009 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

dimestore lipstick: “There is no way any school would put a student into a class taught by the kid’s parent.”

Alas, as Sheila @100 noted, they do. My father is a middle school English teacher, and I had him in 8th grade. As did both my brother and my sister. My sister also had my mother as a teacher, but since Mom teaches elementary music, it wasn’t quite the same.
Poteet
May 29th, 2009 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

# 127 Rusty — Is Maeve supposed to be the smart one? This storyline makes her seem even dimmer than Adrian, if that’s possible.
ChattyGenes
May 29th, 2009 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

I’m not even from a really small city and I sometimes had my mom for a teacher. She substitute-taught in junior-high and high schools in my school system, in English, Spanish, French, and German classes.

Usually I knew when she’d be subbing for my teacher before I left for school, because she’d get the call to sub pretty early in the morning. On occasion I’d find out when walking into the class and see her there, but that didn’t happen often.

Usually at some point, the message would be passed from kid to kid: “Hey, that’s Chatty’s mom!” That happened more often at the beginning of the year when not all the kids knew me or my last name.

The worst thing was when she’d call on me when other kids didn’t know the answer–but I didn’t know the answer either:-)
Talking Squirrel
May 29th, 2009 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

9CL: Thrill to the existential angst of a truly weighty conversation. Then pick up the phone and ask your doctor about Ass-Toe Pro.
EmmaP
May 29th, 2009 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

“Knowing his background makes me rest more easily…” “Life has a strange way of working out…” “It’s nice to feel taken care of for a change…” People! People! This is only the first date!
Poteet
May 29th, 2009 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

# 137 EmmaP — We must remember that first dates can be much more hazardous in comic strips than in real life. In GA, they are followed by proposals of marriage, job loss, tears, emoting, and unbearable angst. Emphasis on “unbearable.”
Vince M
May 29th, 2009 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

49,52: The ‘Count Matryoshka doll in nesting coffin-boxes’ looks like something that would come up in a dream where it sounds logical and very clever – then when you recall it waking up your reaction is ‘wait, what?’
Honeypot
May 29th, 2009 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

49, 52, 139 – It’s more than that. Check out the two puncture marks on the kid’s neck. All of a sudden the kid’s dialogue makes sort of sense.

It’s still not funny, however. Subtle, with a fine air of underlying stupidity, but not at all funny.

Hey – on the other hand – Tommie is breaking Gary’s heart on A3G!!!! What do you think her reason for declining his proposal?

1) He said “I need you” not “I love you” when proposing

2) He didn’t protect her from Joe Kelly

3) All of the clothes he chose to wear today match her hair. Exactly.
Mooncattie
May 29th, 2009 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

#128 Angry Kem – This entire week of various storylines and one-offs has indeed been more irritating than usual. Perhaps Memorial Day in the States is the opposite of Sweeps Week, and various strips have been phoned in more than usual in anticipation of low readership. A little tweaking, though, could go a long way to redeeming the mess that is this week:

RMMD – The lovely but useless second panel would be greatly enhanced with the head of Prince Valiant’s li’l lizard peeking above the waves. Also, Rex should take off his damm work clothes, for crying out loud.

MarmaMutt – “Galaxy” Furniture on the van could be renamed “Europa”, the incoming chair could be tagged “Poland”, and we’d have a 70-year old editorial masterpiece on our hands.

MW – If these lines were reversed (and how I wish that this wasn’t written as here’s an example of a good man), would it be any less irritating? After lots of staring, I’ve decided it would be just as creepy, and that last line is a monster either way. I can’t imagine saying something like that to a date and not getting my nostrils unseparated. *

Spidey – This comic could be renamed The Amazing Mrs. Grilby, and it would be way more entertaining. Not only would she dispose of the various evil-doers a lot faster, we’d enjoy watching her do it a lot more.

FC – All this needs is a knife in Thel’s left hand. A nice long one, with jagged bits. She’s got the expression, her hair is arranged just right, her shoulders hunched perfectly. She’ll get away with it, too – the Arizona courts are too busy dealing with the Coyotes hockey club. do it do it do it do it

GT – OK, I will admit it. I’m a big Bill Hawkins fan. You’re a fine young man, Bill, and you don’t deserve this strip that you’ve been inked into. We both know you’re doomed, but take it like the hero I think you are and embrace whatever fate this sloppy school soaper dumps on you. As for you, Molly, I know your type. You’re going to dump our Bill, aren’t you? So maybe Shep Trumbo will give you a lifetime of laughter and fun. Or that puffed-up Andrew Gregory will be the one to give your blond locks the permanent frizzies. A decent lad like Bill isn’t good enough for you, huh? Too proper? Too kind? You don’t like gentlemen, do you, deep down? Well, let me just…oh wait…something shiny!

* After all this, I can’t imagine having a date! :-)
True Fable
May 29th, 2009 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

Imagine the level of snark, if Rex actually did exchange his stuffy suit for a pair of swim trunks and a flagrantly bare chest. Are you kidding me? It would carry on into other plotline snarks the way Niki’s fishing trip and the golfing trip with Dr. Troy did.

In other words, it would be snark gold.
zerowolf
May 29th, 2009 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

In FOOB-World Elle finds the only straight waiter in Canada.
druidbros
May 29th, 2009 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

MW – I wonder if the Bum Boat serves Butt Steak?
True Fable
May 29th, 2009 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

#125 Sequitur – Yep, that’s how I’m reading the latest Luann twist. El~~vis~~wood is not interested in breeding with her – she acts pretty inbred as it is. He just wants to fit her into some highly salaried position in one of his many companies, and of course she will be so insulted that he did not try to crawl into her panties, that she will turn him down in a huff.

Or something to that effect.
Donald the Anarchist
May 29th, 2009 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

Luanne By all appearances, Luanne’s been hypmotized, and “see how you are with children” is the trigger. Will she now perform a perfectly executed assassination, or go over to Elvis’s, where Stepfordian delights await? Astounding how quickly this worked. It took years to successfully brainwash Liz…

MW Let’s hope the good detective finds ‘desperately needy’ to be a turn-on.

BB Why is Louise wearing a pink lead apron. Isn’t the whole point of her character that she has huge fat-girl breasts, and those are her most outstanding features? Has there been a concern of exciting the chubby-chasers?
druidbros
May 29th, 2009 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

MW – Mary and Dr Jeff act like if you eat at the Bum Boat your troubles will all be behind you…
Mooncattie
May 29th, 2009 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

RM – I guess Rex has to stay suited up for when the big news comes in on who is smuggling folks onboard the ship and Gee, Uunderstand I DOn’t have a clue who that possibly could be!
Mooncattie
May 29th, 2009 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

Yikes, too many ewes!
commodorejohn
May 29th, 2009 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

#146 druidbros – The way I figure it, eating at the Bum Boat fills and overruns your trouble buffer, overwriting whatever you had in there before dining, so in a sense that’s true.
Red Greenback
May 29th, 2009 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

Luann: I’m not very familiar with this strip, so I’m assuming the short guy’s name is “Elvis Luann”? Not as awesome a name as “Dottie Hitler”, but still…
M.Worth: That waiter just walked through the wall!
bats :[
May 29th, 2009 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

Mooncattie: I’m stunned that anyone here is following the Phoenix Coyotes’ bankruptcy/fire sale business…
Rusty
May 29th, 2009 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

#133: Poteet – Yep, Maeve was the best character in the strip, but now she is just another “Woman who makes idiotic choices and says Ack.”
Sequitur
May 29th, 2009 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

I’m sorry, but someone had to do this.
bats :[
May 29th, 2009 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

153. Sequitur: I know you…you’re not sorry. Not at all.
(Hey, I think this just opened as a second feature at our local drive-in today. Woohoo!)
Mooncattie
May 29th, 2009 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

#151 bats:[ – The Coyotes are front-page news virtually every day up here in FOOBland, where folks are yelling about relocating the team to Hamilton. It’s a pleasant, though not particularly gorgeous sort of place that one drives by on the way to groovier cities like Buffalo. Not as splashy and sophisticated as Tucson (there’s nothing to touch the Kon-Tiki!), but the locals sure love their hockey and they’d fill the rink if the team moved. I suspect it won’t.
Sequitur
May 29th, 2009 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

You know, if I had a mind to, I could come up with a catch phrase from today’s Blondie. Something like “hat the bumstead.” As in, “Oh, gosh. It appears I’m naked. I’d better hat the bumstead before I go outside.”

But I won’t do that. Nope, not me.
Sequitur
May 29th, 2009 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

Oh, bats :[, I checked a theater in your neighborhood.
NoahSnark
May 30th, 2009 at 12:05 am [Reply]

The speed with which he snatched the check makes me think Detective Scott isn’t acting out of chivalry – the bill must contain his weekly payoff from the mobsters who own the restaurant.
bats :[
May 30th, 2009 at 12:29 am [Reply]

Saturday Funnies: I’ll leave these to the Snarkmeisters, but all I have to say about RMMD:
http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=45654
Angry Kem
May 30th, 2009 at 12:42 am [Reply]

I just read Saturday’s Mary Worth.

If you want me, I shall be gouging out my own eyes with red-hot pokers and raking at my flesh with my fingernails in a vain attempt to efface the memory of this patronising piece of paternalistic propaganda from my brain.

*Shudders*
Poteet
May 30th, 2009 at 1:00 am [Reply]

# 152 Rusty — I was afraid of that. Thanks.

# 160 Angry Kem — Hand me that poker when you’re finished with it, please. I especially want to efface the memory of Jeff being so all-knowing that he answers the question before she asks it. Gaaah!
Poteet
May 30th, 2009 at 1:28 am [Reply]

5/30 S-M — Narration Box is hallucinating again. “Fun time”???
Mr. O'Malley
May 30th, 2009 at 1:50 am [Reply]

Combining the themes of two strips: I was out with a friend at a fairly nice restaurant once, and the waitress asked him for a date. But then his credit card was declined, so he was too embarrassed to follow up on the offer, even though she was rather attractive.

Doonesbury: It looks as though the new icon will be unveiled Sunday. What’s the earliest place the strip is posted? Do the Canadian papers have it already?

MT: Panel 1 is almost T-shirt-worthy.

MW: Having set myself free from reading the dialog, I am immune to the gnashing of teeth permeating the other comments. However, I am wondering why every restaurant in Santa Royale seems to have a tiny table lamp, about 12 inches high, that must provide a lighted area about a foot in diameter. They must also run off batteries, or there would be problems with people tripping over the power cords. Luckily these restaurants seem to be well-lit anyway, so there is no need for the tiny lamps in the first place.

Panel 1 looks fairly dull, so I’ll skip over that, but in panel 2 Jeff seems to have something he wants to say. Mary looks like she is about to roll her eyes and heave a sigh, so I’m guessing Jeff is getting into politics: “You mark my words, the current level of federal government spending cannot continue!” or perhaps “I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again—private property is theft!”

MC: Good one today

RMMD: Do they think we can’t count?
CanuckDownSouth
May 30th, 2009 at 2:11 am [Reply]

Sat MW

[arrgh]
How did Ted get away with it for so long? Why, because women wanted to believe him – just like fathers want to believe a relative of an old friend would be decent and honourable to his daughter.

Nope, no parallel here.

Totally different situation.

(chirping)

Seriously, does anyone read the dialogue through?! I can understand why even the writer might want to avoid it and the inevitable platitude-induced narcolepsy, but *someone* needs to be responsible.
[/arrgh]
Mibbitmaker
May 30th, 2009 at 2:19 am [Reply]

New ones:

9CL: Wow, Brooke, you’re a cold-hearted bastard. A vermin “Omen”?? How ’bout Brooke gets turned into a cockroach, instead? Then one of his characters could step on him. Nah — he’d probably enjoy that, the perv.

However… if it’s a baby version of The Roach from Cerebus the Aardvark, all would be forgiven.

Archie: I hate to say this after the above, but… overreaction much, Arch?

Curtis: Planning this year’s Kwanzaa sequence already, Curtis?

ReFOOB: Oh, you don’t know the HALF of it!!!!!

Garfield: “Undele….. undele…… ee……. haw…..” (at least, that way, we’d've never gotten stuck with those awful late-’60s Speedy & Daffy cartoons, Gonzalez already being in Sylvester’s stomach and all)

GT: Luuuu-cyyyyyyyyyy!! (keeping the pop culture Hispanics theme going…)

JP: That’s how the Great Cheerleader Mom Bloodbath of ‘09 got started.

MC: I’d worry if Squishy grows giant feet in a few years. We’re bachelors, baby!

6C: …And the Circle of Life goes on….

S-M: Okay, the stupid time’s over. Time to get to the stupid stuff.
Nurse with a penis
May 30th, 2009 at 2:20 am [Reply]

MW – Sat – In the second panel, I can’t tell if Mary’s chin is in her hand in interminable ennui -OR- if she is about slap Jeff in the face with her open hand.
Baka Gaijin
May 30th, 2009 at 2:58 am [Reply]

#139 Honeypot: 4) He didn’t call her ‘Queenie.”
Baka Gaijin
May 30th, 2009 at 3:19 am [Reply]

Saturday’s Strips:

Sally Forth and My Cage: Just bags of win.

Pluggers: It would be so great if that cat from Marvin popped up from the castle and starts menacing the bear-boy.

Luann and Mary Worth: Prepare the barf bags. The big industrial steel belted Hefty bags.

Cathy: “His only memory of you in a suit will be the SPOO from his involuntary projectile vomiting.”

Hagar the Horrible: I laughed. The final panel just looks funny.

Quote of the Day: “It’s like death but without the grammar!”
Baka Gaijin
May 30th, 2009 at 3:22 am [Reply]

#168 Me: “It’s like death but without the ~~grammar~~ glamour.” I guess the thought of Cathy in a bathing suit jostled my nouns.
Donkey Hotey
May 30th, 2009 at 3:30 am [Reply]

#23 dimestore lipstick – As others have said, this is not unusual at all. In a school where the parent is the only teacher who teaches a class the child needs to take, what else could they do? I took lots of classes over the years where a kid in the class called the teacher “Mom” or “Dad” instead of “Mrs. Smith” or “Mr. Jones.”
dale
May 30th, 2009 at 3:38 am [Reply]

Scottish Goat Lover Story

The version I heard was about a French architect. There was a skyscraper, a highway interchange, a bridge and a synonym for “rooster.”
Parmalat Loire
May 30th, 2009 at 3:54 am [Reply]

Why is Zits so bad lately? It’s sad, but the Mexican sombrero crap in Garfield for the past week has been beating the ever-living crap out of Connie’s yakking. I haven’t hated a mother this much since Belly Laffs ran in Marvin or Foob was still on life support.
Charterstoned
May 30th, 2009 at 7:00 am [Reply]

MW – While Mary and Jeff continue to explore the deep, dark abyss that is Ted’s soul, the couple in the background, having mistaken the Bum Boat for an art gallery, consider the soul of the artist and what he was trying to say when he created the “Bass Series” pasted on the restaurant wall.
Charterstoned
May 30th, 2009 at 7:05 am [Reply]

MT – In the parlance of Lost Forest, what the heck constitutes REGULAR garbage? Let me see…old flapjacks that look like scalp transplants…filled up memory sticks…anything that ISN’T flesh colored?
Sheila Sternwell
May 30th, 2009 at 7:06 am [Reply]

a synonym for “rooster.”

Chicken! Wait, I don’t get it.

And someone please talk me down. I saw Gil Thorp’s face split in half like a casaba melon in today’s first panel and I started to hallucinate something about Picasso, Final Jeopardy, and pearl earrings. I think I need Lily Tomlin to guide me through this bad trip.
Thageegee
May 30th, 2009 at 7:52 am [Reply]

The DeGroots seem to have a fetish for men incapable of opening their eyes, first T.J., and now “Elvis.”

Is there a name for this odd taste?
Bryan
May 30th, 2009 at 8:06 am [Reply]

5/30 comics
9CL: So God’s going to make poor What’s Her Name give birth to a giant cockroach? Brooke may be able to sling 50-cent words like nobody’s business, but I question his grasp of theology.

Blondie: If it’s too personal for your mother to see it probably shouldn’t go on your Facebook page. There are places like Xtube for that kind of thing.

Curtis: Hey, Curtis maybe it’s none of your business.

FOOB: “I bet John is getting blown in a back alley right now!”

Rex Morgan, MD: What the hell am I looking at? This is a list of people who might possibly be related to Willy. Guido, Rex’s on again-off again gay lover, is number one on the list. Is that it? Because, frankly, I’m just in it for the cheesecake shots of June.

Sally Forth: Ted, three words: “Murder-suicide pact.” Just keep it in mind.

Spiderman: Elevators aren’t that fast. A relatively fit person going downstairs against a non-express elevator could beat it easily. Is that too pedantic? “Fun time’s over.” Is that what we’ve been having? Hey, I bet that guy in the third panel is Wolverine in street clothes! He’s kind of scruffy lookin’ and says “lookin’” rather than “looking.”

Edison Lee: I’d make a joke about one of the creams being “Seka’s Anal Ease,” but that would be inappropriate.
TheDiva
May 30th, 2009 at 8:15 am [Reply]

reFOOB: Leaving aside the uncomfortable parallels with the author’s personal life for a moment…how does one “act single,” anyway?

Luann: I never thought I’d say it, but can we go back to Toni and Brad please? At least they’re not so passive-aggressive about their unresolved ~~sexual~~ tension.

MW: “Yes, fragile, emotional women are easily led by smooth words! Whereas I, manly man that I am, am not fooled by such things–it takes smooth words AND a phony donation to a favorite charity to pull the wool over MY eyes!”
dreadedcandiru2
May 30th, 2009 at 8:25 am [Reply]

Sunday FOOB Advisory: Tomorrow’s strip reminds us all that Elly/Lynn has no idea how to relate to animals. That’s because she wastes an afternoon trying to talk an uncomprehending Farley out of barking at passers-by. The reason it’s made of fail is, of course, that we’re meant to empathize with the yapping idiot-woman getting angry at her dog over nothing.
Talking Squirrel
May 30th, 2009 at 8:44 am [Reply]

In a scanner-worthy Jungian juxtaposition on the 5/29 WaPo funny pages, Garfield gets ready to pugilize Peter Parker.

Spoiler: “Four legs good, eight legs bad.” (Scuttle, scuttle)
Talking Squirrel
May 30th, 2009 at 8:51 am [Reply]

174 Charterstoned: “Let me see…old flapjacks that look like scalp transplants”

Whew! I was afraid I was the only one whose dreams have been haunted by those braised-placenta pancakes they sat down to that morning after successfully de-draining the wetlands. Thanks be to Chennux, I’m not alone.
Talking Squirrel
May 30th, 2009 at 8:53 am [Reply]

176 Thageegee: “The DeGroots seem to have a fetish for men incapable of opening their eyes…
Is there a name for this odd taste?”

“Necrophilia”.
compass rose
May 30th, 2009 at 8:57 am [Reply]

#182
Nicely done!
dreadedcandiru2
May 30th, 2009 at 9:00 am [Reply]

#177 : Bryan — Theology isn’t the only thing McEldowney doesn’t seem to understand; he also doesn’t seem to understand that your average features editor has a low tolerance for body horror transmutations. What’s more, he is unable to see that the Syndicate would also object to this inhumane, anti-human freakfest.
tb4000
May 30th, 2009 at 9:03 am [Reply]

Luann: Brad and Gunther are clones. Someone in the Luann universe a guy who has the worst social skills known to man involving women decided to just stem cell the shit out of himself.
I am Jack's username
May 30th, 2009 at 9:06 am [Reply]

Luann: “And I wanted to see how you are with children. Because I’m eleven.”
Team MP
May 30th, 2009 at 9:07 am [Reply]

Marmaduke- I’m really surprised that no one else has commented on Marmaduke yet this morning. Why is that guy giving a dog a hand job? I mean it is Marmaduke and all, but honestly. There must be a limit to what you would do to avoid being eaten, but apparently jacking off a large dog isn’t it.
gleeb
May 30th, 2009 at 9:34 am [Reply]

Jump Start: “Repeatedly ask questions to provide narrative?” “No, that would be cheap, son.”

Yet More Thorax: That’s it. I’m going McEldowney-free. I ain’t readin’ this.

Archie: Whale Cola, the soda that spouts! Also, the AJGLU is trmporarily trapped on the chip bag.

’shaft: Because it’s all about that damned pizza joint.

Edge City: Where’s his left hand going?

Gas: Being immortal, Walt likes to rub it in to everyone else. He’s kind of a dick that way.

Luann: No, Greg, you won’t. You didn’t ask then, and you won’t now.

Mark: Especially the animals that are underneath when the drums a dropped from that cliff.

Snuffy: Snuffy shares genetic material with his hound dog.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 30th, 2009 at 10:01 am [Reply]

Hello, boys and girls! Let’s see what’s going on in the Land of Make-Believe, shall we?

9CL: Someone tell me when this plotline is over. There is so much… stupid and hateful and offensive here that I can’t even think where to start, so I’ll just stop reading it out of self-defense.

Archie: Set aside Archie’s spurt of overreaction for a second. Did anyone else see the expression on the potato-chip bag mascot change?

A.D.: If everything in “twitterspeak” is translated by removing the W’s, then I have to ask: What do “titter” and “teet” mean? Oh… that’s Titter. (Warning: Vintage NSFW.) Now I hesitate to Google “teet.”

Bizarro: Somewhere, Brooke McEldowney is kicking himself for not thinking of this one first.

Blondie: It’s been said before, but that doesn’t make it less worth saying now: Holy SHIT Cookie is stacked.

F-: What did he think it was? Are there really that many runny-diarrhea-fountains around?

Garfield: A simpler explanation, and yet at “completely unfunny” only slightly less funny than this one: Clearly, it’s not the same hat, since Garfield’s was big enough for him to hide completely within. Next strip, please.

GA: “No, he was just 106 years old, when people are SUPPOSED to be dead, you shriveled old fossil! Why don’t you just DIE so I can have a social life, you hideous, liver-spotted holdover from the Harding administration?!”

thorps. Oh, please let it be his gimp mask and King Dong.

H&L: Can’t fool me, he’s watching Caddyshack.

Big Dog: “I brought the lube. Trust me, you’re going to need both bottles.”

Monty: I think it’s working, but not in the way Monty wants. He’s made me think all the women in this strip have tits where their eyes should be.

MC: Win.

tAS: This is as hilarious as it is timely.

Zits: Jhhheeerrrsh. <— (failed attempt at capturing the sound that comes out with an involuntary shudder of revulsion)
Says
May 30th, 2009 at 10:12 am [Reply]

143 (druidbros says: MW – I wonder if the Bum Boat serves Butt Steak?) No, but they do serve Rump Roast.
John C Fremont
May 30th, 2009 at 10:15 am [Reply]

#189 – Yeah, I noticed Mr. Chip. I actually smiled. What’s wrong with me?

RMMD – “5/20/09,” eh? That’s so, um, believable.

MT – That camera is much larger than a camera ought to be. In fact, it’s just plain big.

MW – That couple on the left really seem to be enjoying the hell out of that Billy Bass.

MC – I really don’t go around using the phrase “full of win,” but it just seems to fit today. Good stuff, Maynard.

SF – Ted Forth works for the Millenium Group?
Carbunicle
May 30th, 2009 at 10:39 am [Reply]

Aaaagh! You made me look at 9CL! So stupid! (Me for looking and the strip in being.)
kalki
May 30th, 2009 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Archie: Thanks, Archie. I really needed the symbolism of the exploding juice bag.

Blondie: Now let them have the thought of how much money they’d make running a sex site together. Best. Hentai. Ever.

Crank: Yep. No fatalities. Another day in paradise…til the cancer gets detected.

DTM: Menacing the stringed instruments today.

CircusJerk: It’s cool as long as the lighter sock let’s the darker sock think they are equal…but then the lighter sock will enact segregation against the darker sock and all other darker socks….until the guilt seeps in (or a messy lawsuit is filed), then the segregation ends and the lighter sock establishes quotas to include darker socks in lighter sock circles.

FW: A tactile learner? This is why they need to bring paddling back to schools. *SMACK* “How’s that for a tactile learning experience?”

Luann: Sorry, Gunther, but with your whole cultivated “Wooly Willy” look there, your angry expression is more humorous than actually threatening.

S-M: In the last panel, Hobo Wolverine has located a truck that he can perhaps sleep in for the night, before another day of panhandling for spare change and dancing to the music of Professor X’s street organ. The X-Men have been hit hard by the economic downturn as much as anybody else.
queek
May 30th, 2009 at 11:06 am [Reply]

Doones: Sunday Icon reveal, called it!

MC: snarky WIN!

SB: way lame, beyond AS-level lame.
Digger
May 30th, 2009 at 11:20 am [Reply]

SF: I’m not sure if a man who hides behind office plants eavesdropping on conversations should be telling anyone else to “man up.” Also, white shirt with white pants isn’t the best choice to wear to the office, unless this guy’s job is selling ice cream.
Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
May 30th, 2009 at 11:22 am [Reply]

MT: There should be an annual contest for Stupidest Most Obvious Dumb Remark of the Year by a Comic Strip Character Around Too Long Who Ought to Have Been Retired to the Old Comic Strip Characters Home: First nominee: Mark Trail, on May 30, 2009: That’s NOT regular garbage!

Actually, there ought to be annual awards in various categories — has anybody thought of this before? Forgive me if I am stomping on a road already travelled.

Perhaps these awards should be called The FOOBS.

Sample categories: The strip which displays the absolutely least lack of drawing talent in the known universe.

Strip with the consistently worst jokes.

Strip which consistenly displays least lack of knowledge of the laws of perspective.

Most obnoxious comic character under 6 years old.

Most useless comic character over 100 years old.

Least realistic depiction of a “funny” animal.

The strip which consistently displays social, physical, or technical anachromisms.

The FOOB Annual Fashion Award for the ugliest pastel costume worn in a Mary Worth strip.

Then, of course, there should be an annual Lifelong Lack of Achievement Award.

Etc.

Competition will be very fierce indeed.
Calico
May 30th, 2009 at 11:49 am [Reply]

Ah, Mary Worth, queen of Anti-Karma.
Maybe when you get run over by a truck, Mary, that will have been worth it too.
Calico
May 30th, 2009 at 11:50 am [Reply]

“Lifelong Lack of Achievement Award” – that would go to either Hagar or Liz Patterson. Or both.
commodorejohn
May 30th, 2009 at 11:56 am [Reply]

A3G – There are few things I enjoy more than watching Margo intentionally pursue a line of questioning she knows will make her roommates uncomfortable.

Archie – Lateral thinking drives Archie to symbolic ejaculation.

AS – Terrible mauling-related puns are made funny by directing the brutality at Las Vegas entertainers, apparently?

Crankshaft – Uh oh, they’re happy. God only knows what horrors that will unleash.

Curtis – Am I losing my mind, or did Curtis just acknowledge the existence of open relationships? (Then again, this was the strip that indelibly wrote the phrase “syrup chapter” into the mind of many a ‘Mudge…)

DT – Dick is shocked to have his suspicions confirmed. This might seem odd, but consider that his usual modus operandi is to pull an accusation out of his ass and brutally kill the accused. Being right usually doesn’t even factor into the equation.

FC – “I think we’re going to have to get counseling!”

FW – It’s ~~disgusting~~ amusing how cartoonishly terrible Batiuk is making Cory, presumably in an attempt to make Les seem sympathetic by comparison. (It ain’t working, Tom.) Next he’ll be trying to get Summer to join in a blunt under the bleachers, or some damn thing, and he still will be more likeable than her father.

GA – Either Gertie is Native American and there’s someone littering offstage, or Scancarelli has almost as much of a tin ear for human emotion as Karen Moy.

JP – Did the cheerleaders use to steal your lunch money, Wilson?

Luann – When Luann deGroot can make an accurate and fair criticism of your behavior, you’re really being a complete tool.

MT – One of my favorite little things about Mark Trail is Mark’s emphatic declarations of the perfectly obvious. (“That is not plaster of Paris!”)

Marmaduke – I was really trying not to see what #187 Team MP pointed out, but Paul Andersen is making that very, very difficult. Brain bleach, please.

MW – Yes, it was all hunky-dory that everything about Adrian’s beloved fiance turned out to be a horrible lie, because after her heartbreak she was talked into dating the son of Jeff’s old school chum! Doesn’t that just make the emotional turmoil all worthwhile?

Momma – Christ, what an asshole.

MC – My Cage hits it out of the park today, making its parody just subtle enough to hit you like a ton of bricks when you finally catch on. Way to go, guys!

PC – Prickly City should be this funny more often.

RMMD – A-yup. (Is it just me, or is the inclusion of actual business fonts in a normally comic-lettered strip a bit jarring?)

SM – So watching Spider-Man face off against the Biddy, who cannot comprehend that people can be faster than elevators, was “fun time.” Hmm.

Edison Lee – You know, normally I’m totally down with criticism of the overly made-up, but…what a little shit.
Calico
May 30th, 2009 at 11:58 am [Reply]

Yeh, My Cage today rocks. More!
(Suddenly hungry for Lasagna)
Team MP
May 30th, 2009 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

Hi- I’m looking for help from Get Fuzzy fans. I’ve been casually searching the last couple of days for what I think was a Sunday strip when Rob comes home and Bucky and Satchel are talking about NPR incognito. Bucky says something like “the end of The World is nigh,” and I can’t remember who delivers the punchline, but it’s something like “but All Things Considered starts at 4:30.” Does anyone know the date? I’ve looked through comics.com and I breezed through the get fuzzy archive, but no luck. Casual searching has now turned into annoyed. I think that strip would make the freshest T-shirt. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks
Talking Squirrel
May 30th, 2009 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

9CL: Since I so totally called it yesterday with today’s use of the phrase “created in (my) image”, there’s no way I could resist making a heretical mash of today’s equally turgid sequel.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
May 30th, 2009 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

Little A @ 196: Well, we do have the annual Bee-Grinding Awards, judged and awarded by our own True Fable and his band of ninja goats.
gozar
May 30th, 2009 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

Have Brad and Toni been doing it all week while we are seeing the Luann / Gunther / Evil Troll story?
bats :[
May 30th, 2009 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

168. Baka Gaijin: I’m not familiar with the cat in Marvin (mostly because that is one of my avoid-like-the-plague strips). Will this do?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3578526177/
Talking Squirrel
May 30th, 2009 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

205 bats :[ — a neko obake, purr-fect!
bats :[
May 30th, 2009 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

202. Talking Squirrel: well done! I cannot believe (or maybe I can) how nasty Brooke is getting here. There’s good nasty (fairy porn…and even that’s wearing thin), but this is just mean nasty.

Brooke owes us loyal readers one hell of a lot of Seth and Mark and SOLANGE SOLANGE SOLANGE strips.

Asshat.
Little Guy
May 30th, 2009 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

163: Will Trudeau be froced to draw — a FACE?!?
Jeff Soesbe (yeff)
May 31st, 2009 at 1:54 am [Reply]

What we haven’t been told yet is that Scott *Hewlett* is one of the Hewletts of the Hewlett-Packard fortune, and thus extremely flush with cash and able to pay for a doctor’s lunch.

In fact, he’s not really a police officer. He just pretends to be one, and pays off everyone else involved in the charade.

The uncovering of this deception will be the next Mary Worth plotline and the final shattering of Adrian’s oh-so-fragile self esteem.

- yeff
Melissa G
June 5th, 2009 at 11:59 am [Reply]

On the other hand, if Adrian’s economic autonomy manifests in her buying herself vomit-print dresses, perhaps Scott is merely trying to save us all. Yay, Scott!

Please read the posting and discussion policies before posting. You are not required to supply an e-mail address to comment; however, doing so decreases the likelihood of your comment being flagged as spam. E-mail addresses will never be made public or seen by anyone but the site writers, who may use them to communicate with commentors.

Archives:

Comment of the week:

Main navigation:

Main content:

Your proof that it gets worse

210 responses to “Your proof that it gets worse”

Leave a Reply

All the cool kids…

Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery