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Tuesday Wednesday trifecta redux

Josh’s indecisiveness means extra bonus comics for you!

Ziggy, 5/25/05

Proof that Rex Morgan, M.D. isn’t alone in the category of Comics Whose Authors Should Really Read The Dialogue Aloud Before Choosing Which Words To Boldface or Underline. I’m trying to think of what the pizza emporium representative could have said that would make this intonation make sense. “We have a special on our five-cheese pizza.” “Really? …do you have five-cheese pizzas?” “Uh, yeah, we have a special on it.” Really? …do you have five-cheese pizzas?” “Um…”

I should cut him some slack, I guess. He’s a mouse. It’s an achievement that he’s learned to speak English and operate a phone.

Sally Forth, 5/25/05

Ces, you magnificent bastard, if this storyline ends with Sally poking at a mummified cat corpse with the handle of her tennis racket while Hilary screams in terror and grief, I will be deeply impressed. Tip to Ted: a casual aside at such a vulnerable moment along the lines of “Kitty heard that you were going away to Paris for a week so she killed herself” equals seven days of gettin’ it on in the City of Light without bratty child interference.

Apartment 3-G, 5/25/05

You say you hate to see him go, Lu Ann, but it’s sure giving you a nice opportunity to stare at his ass, isn’t it? I notice in this strip that Lu Ann and Janitor Scott are parting ways in SoPink, the all-pink district in Manhattan that the hipsters seem to have discovered lately. Time Out New York says SoPink is the new DUMBO.

Update: 158 comments, and nobody points out that I got the day of the week wrong in the title of this post? Thank God for the future Mrs. C.

166 responses to “Tuesday Wednesday trifecta redux”

  1. TwoClubs
    May 25th, 2005 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    When teachers and custodians find themselves on a summertime project together, is it *not* still customary to meet at places like a library, or a school office, or the cafeteria? I am concerned about Luann and Scott’s out-of-the-chute habit of meeting at each other’s apartments. This can only lean to no good. I mean, after all, Luann was convinced she was getting the axe just this morning!

  2. Islamorada Girl
    May 25th, 2005 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    And if we’re really, really lucky, Scott Gainesburger will be the one who will give her that axe. Severely. About the head and shoulders.

    More Tommie, Mule!

  3. fluffytufts
    May 25th, 2005 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    SoPink. Hmmm. Could that be South Of christoPher In Newark? Assuming, of course, that there’s a Christopher St. in Newark. But where else but a place like Newark could you find all the buildings so hideously bathed in salmon?

  4. fluffytufts
    May 25th, 2005 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    Not that they are, mind you. Just could be.

  5. Woodstock
    May 25th, 2005 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    Luann’s totally committed
    To major ditziness
    But she’s a lady through and through
    She gives them quite a battle
    All that they can handle
    She’ll confuse some
    She’ll tease some too
    But oh she hates to see him go
    Oh she does respect his butt
    She loves to watch Scott strut

    Sometimes she’ll fear that firin’
    Just give up and say it
    But Frank Bolle would never do that
    In spite of all her flaking
    Once he starts in researching
    The project will be all they ever dreamed
    Oh she’ll love to watch Scott strut
    Oh she’ll kill Margo to make the cut
    She loves to watch him strut

    I’m so sorry Mr. Bob Seger. It had to be done.

  6. Joe D.
    May 25th, 2005 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    I like how Scott is doing the I-gotta-get-the-hell-outta-here-before-this-crazy-slut-kills-me walk while LuAnn is still talking.

    And you know the next line in her head is “…but I love to watch him leave!”

  7. jdonelson.nyc
    May 25th, 2005 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    He may be able to dial the phone and speak into the phone, but I’m more impressed by the other thing that he seems to be doing to the phone.

    Actually I’m not so much impressed as I am horrified or disgusted.

  8. Tracibub
    May 25th, 2005 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    More cheese pizzas, mule!

    And let me tell you, if I were to walk in and find a mouse talking to a pizza guy on my phone, I sure as heck wouldn’t be lingering in the doorway with a befuddled look on my face. I’d be grabbing the nearest stick-like device and poking that mouse out of my house!! (hahahaha! I made a rhyme!)

  9. Monkeys Uncle
    May 25th, 2005 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Let me take this opportunity to get something off my chest. I just cant stand to see a grown man wear a bookbag/backpack like that. I know, I know you develop back problems if you dont use both straps but it that doesnt change the fact you look ridiculous. Stop it! If your not hiking just stop it carry that thing like a man and visit the chiropractor once in a while.

    Ted Forth, you can keep carrying it that way, it wont make a difference.

  10. Curious George
    May 25th, 2005 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    Hey, it’s phone sex in the comics, what more do you want?

    Well, it could be funny too, but now I want the world, right?

    What’s the deal with the Ted guy’s “do” in Sally Forth? It looks less like hair than a crumpled Afrika Corps hat.

  11. Luban
    May 25th, 2005 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    Monkeys Uncle, I also found Scott’s backpack of choice to be a tad wussy. I mean, if you’re Mark Trail with a big studly backpack, that’s one thing. But then again, since Scott is walking back home to SoPink, I have a feeling he’s a disco-dancin’, Oscar-Wilde-readin’, Streisand-ticket-holdin’ friend of Dorothy, know what I’m sayin’? Next thing you know they’ll be watching “Some Like it Hot” and “Sporadicus.”

  12. Islamorada Girl
    May 25th, 2005 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    All the girls are crazy about a guy in brand new stonewashed loose fit jeans! Yep, he’s a total hottie, all right.

  13. afdumin
    May 25th, 2005 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    Maybe the pizza guy on the other end said they have a three-cheese pizza (which is a fairly standard option, nowadays), which led the mouse to ask whether they have a five-cheese pizza. The emphisis being on “have” due to his obvious excitment that they may in fact carry such a thing. Never-the-less, I still think you’re correct and that Wilson should have stressed the word “five” instead.

  14. rose
    May 25th, 2005 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    …but I love to watch him leave.

    Tell me I’m not the only one who was thinking that?

    I’m looking forward to kitty turds in the comics. Or maybe the cat is dead, and Hilary finds her existentialist self in Paris. She raids Sally’s wardrobe for all the black (Sally so frequently in black these days = plot device), starts stealing cigarettes, and stops being perpetually tween.

  15. Monkeys Uncle
    May 25th, 2005 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    Thanks Luban. I’m happy to see I’m not the only one to feel this way. Now that Mark Trail, can back a pack I mean pack a back, no that doesnt sound right either. At any rate you wont find him ignoring his wife and spending all his time alone with other men…er I mean he, uh, he can pitch his own tent. No wait, I’m just sayin he is a macho macho man. Who just happens to spend a lot of time looking for jewlry with Bob Crane…
    Never mind.

  16. manfire
    May 25th, 2005 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy’s still using the Western Electric Model 500 phone that he got when his house was first wired by Ma Bell in the ’50s? That’s hardcore.

  17. JIM
    May 25th, 2005 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    I think the conversation must have gone something like…

    Mouse: HEY! How many kinds of cheese do you have?

    Pizza Guy: Five, Mr. Squeaky-Voice. We have five kinds of cheese.

    Mouse: REALLY? Do you HAVE five-cheese pizzas?

    Pizza Guy: No. It’d be a bylaw violation.

  18. Luban
    May 25th, 2005 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy’s got newer phones — he just keeps that old one around because his horny little pet mouse likes to hump the receiver while shouting cheese-fueled yelps of ecstasy.

  19. Islamorada Girl
    May 25th, 2005 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy is not now, nor has it ever been a member of the Communist part—-wait, I mean funny!

  20. Gilmore Guy
    May 25th, 2005 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    I’m less concerned with the backpack than with the fact that Scott seems to be wearing an electric blue leisure suit.

  21. fuzzmaster
    May 25th, 2005 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    Why not:

    Mouse: I’d like a cheese pizza, please.

    Phone: Do you want anything on that?

    Mouse: Um, cheese.

    Phone: OK, you want our two-cheese(TM) pizza. Mozzarella and provolone.

    Mouse: You can do that? Could I get parmesan too?

    Phone: Sure. We call that a three-cheese(TM). Anything else on it? Sausage? Shrooms?

    Mouse: Romano?

    Phone: Got it. You want a pizza with mozzarella, provolone, parmesan and romano. Now, that we call our four-cheese(TM). Is that it?

    Mouse (breathing heavily): Well, I-I-I don’t know if I could order this, but–

    Phone: Bud, if we got it, you can get it. Name your pie.

    Mouse: …

  22. fuzzmaster
    May 25th, 2005 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    Also, I’m beginning to suspect Kitty isn’t dead after all. She’s stolen the money Ted saved up for Paris and is on her way to Katmandu even as we type.

  23. rose
    May 25th, 2005 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    Or maybe to rescue Nermal in Abudabi

  24. daChipster
    May 25th, 2005 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    More apologies to Seeger and props to fuzzmaster for the idea:

    I got no kick against gay Paree
    I ride the teacups at le Disney
    And Ted Sally and Hillary
    Are gonna love it too

    BUT I’M STILL GOING TO CAT-MANDU
    That’s really really what I’m gonna do
    They name they gave me was really queer
    I’m sure you know it’s true

    I’m gonna miss the Forths all the way
    I’m gonna miss ‘em every single day
    But they don’t feed me there anyway
    I’m going to CAT-mandu

  25. Kenboy
    May 25th, 2005 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    That mouse is totally nailing that phone.

  26. John James Audubon
    May 25th, 2005 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    One question mark with black fill. One question mark with white fill…paging Scott McCloud, we need some deconstruction here!

  27. fuzzmaster
    May 25th, 2005 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    daChip: I’ll lob ‘em in, you smack ‘em over da fence.

  28. Sven Jissom
    May 25th, 2005 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    Lu Ann’s odd gigantic profile in panel 3 might shed some perspective on where this trail is headed. Ziggy’s mouse had been disturbing me all day, so it was a relief to check my feeds and find that this did indeed portend a great disturbance. By the way I have a phone just like Ziggy’s (if his is black like mine). But our kitty, who has used the cat box today, would never stand for a mouse ordering a hump of pizza.

  29. J.Po
    May 25th, 2005 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

    Ted Forth? “Seven days of gettin’ it on?” With Amos, maybe…

  30. Islamorada Girl
    May 25th, 2005 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    You Fence Post bastard,
    You killed my son!
    Now Buck’s in Rescue 911!

    -Fity Cent Foxworth

  31. J.Po
    May 25th, 2005 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    By the time this RMMD story line plays out, Alan Greenspan predicts that Fity Cent Foxworth will be worth only about Foty Tree Cent. Comic inflation, you know.

  32. dalton
    May 25th, 2005 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    I daresay Luban is suggesting that Scott is gay?

  33. Renna
    May 25th, 2005 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    Dead cats, or more cats? There may be kittens in a Forth closet.

    And is Meridith crying on FBoFW because Grandma is around to give extra sympathy, or is Granny refracturing her arm? Grandma, Grandma, why are you hurting me??? WAAAAA!

  34. Lady Penelope
    May 25th, 2005 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    I thought the same thing about the backpack. It’s like one of those girly mini-packs. Perhaps he uses it for his compact, lipgloss and a collapsible hairbrush? It’s also cute how his sporty jacket and his pants match perfectly. No wonder he’s in SoPink … I’m just saying.

    But dude’s the janitor, let’s not forget, so he doesn’t really need to carry any books around, just a dustbuster.

  35. Gilmore Guy
    May 25th, 2005 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    Are you the famous Lady Penelope from Catch?

  36. Gilmore Guy
    May 25th, 2005 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    As for Scott being gay, I think Lu Ann’s comment in panel two says it all: “hey, thanks for bringing all that material over.” I’m thinking it was some lavender tulle Scott had left over from when he made his window treatments. And his “Halloween costume.”

  37. cm
    May 25th, 2005 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    I think fuzzmaster’s right, Kitty’s having kittens. Maybe the father is the orange cat that was lurking around when the Forths were looking for Kitty.

  38. afdumin
    May 25th, 2005 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know, I still think it looks like Scott’s holding in a really big dump in that last panel. That kind of walk is just unmistakable. He obviously feared smelling up Lu Ann’s bathroom; I mean, he’s a janitor, he knows about that kind of thing. Note that he also suggests they meet at his place next time. That’s thinking ahead, Scott!

  39. Mibbitmaker
    May 25th, 2005 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    As LuAnn goes to THE Scott Gaines’s appartment, she meets his roommates: a red-headed guy who’s talkative, and a dark-haired guy who stays out of everyone’s business and hates scheming, plus only reacts to things appropriately….

    Yes, LuAnn, it’s…. Bizarro Apt. 3G (Three guys)!!

  40. Wes Rand
    May 25th, 2005 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    Isn’t that the White House hotline telephone the mouse is using (no finger holes in the dial.) Looks to me like he’s yanking the Russian’s chain.

    And I think you’re all missing the point of the dialog. The mouse is pounding the phone while yelling “… do you HAVE five-cheese …” Act it out yourself and it’ll make more sense. The officemates don’t seem to get it though.

  41. Matt Estes
    May 25th, 2005 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    PIZZA GUY: You’re a mouse?! What are you going to order, a five cheese pizza?

    Now if only we knew what the mouse said to make the pizza guy say that, causing the mouse to say what he said in today’s comic. …yup.

  42. Luban
    May 25th, 2005 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    What, no one got my Clueless reference?

  43. Anonymous
    May 25th, 2005 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    A *rotary* phone.

  44. fuzzmaster
    May 25th, 2005 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    If I saw a large disembodied head chasing me down the street even after I’d doubled back to throw it off the track, my bowels would be clutching too.

    In other words, notice that the buildings are to their left as he waves goodbye, but mysteriously have shifted to his right when the giant head appears.

    SoPink was mapped out by Escher, it seems.

  45. daChipster
    May 25th, 2005 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    Hollo! My name is Luke Foxworth. You brained my son. Prepare to die.

  46. daChipster
    May 25th, 2005 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY at the Indianapolis 500, Rex Morgan fills in for a driver who suddenly becomes ill. Just as he’s about to win, he drives off the course to save Spritle and Chim Chim from certain death.

    Little does Pops know that his long lost son is the world’s greatest driver, Racer Rex.

  47. daChipster
    May 25th, 2005 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    Never one to let sleeping manic-depressives lie, Wary Mirth contemplates bringing a meal directly to the black widow’s lair. Little does Mary know that the entree she’s bringing is… herself!

    Meanwhile, at the aforesaid lair, some rambunctious rapscallions appear to have taped their S.A.T. scores to Rita’s door for Senior Ditch Day.

    Kids these days! Oh, those scamps!

  48. Luban
    May 25th, 2005 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    Hooray, Fitty Cent Foxworth is coming, and he’s moving in with the Morgans! I bet he’s gonna tangle with Fence Post Frank (“I may have disowned my son, but nobody bludgeons a Foxworth, dammit!”). Can’t wait for the epic showdown between FCF and FPF — a fight to the death, refereed by Abbey the Wonder Dog! BARK BARK!

  49. Incident
    May 26th, 2005 at 12:28 am [Reply]

    New comics ahoy.

    Rex Morgan: Why does he NEED a relative? Does he need a brain transplant?

    Mary Worth: Rita is hiding from people who want to give her charts and graphs? Those bastards.

    9 Chickweed Lane: Oh, the sad but inevitable fate of a wuss and a cocktease.

    Apartment 3-G: Luann should know by now that 11:00-1:00 is Margo’s “showerhead time.” But organizing your porn into file folders? Teenage boys have nothing on Margo.

    Mark Trail: I have to take each panel individually.

    Panel 1: Agh, this is so boring!

    Panel 2: OHMYGODSCARYBEAVERITSTHEENDTIMESTHATSTUPIDTVMOVIEWASRIGHTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

    Panel 3: Do it, Cherry! Stab, stab, stab!

  50. Occam's Gillette
    May 26th, 2005 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    On May 23rd, Sally Worth is thanking Hilary for cleaning out the litter box the last few days. Probably thought Hilary or Ted was feeding the cat, too. What a caring family, to have only one pet and lose track of it for a few days. Hilary better watch out in Paris. They might misplace her, too.

  51. Dave G
    May 26th, 2005 at 2:42 am [Reply]

    Panel 1 of Apartment 3-G, dude is so totally checking out her rack.

  52. Dave G
    May 26th, 2005 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    Wait, what about this:
    Mouse: “Can I have five cheese pizzas?”
    Pizza Guy: “Do you mean you want five pizzas with regular cheese, or a couple pizza with five cheeses on it?”
    Mouse: “Do you HAVE five cheese pizzas?”

    Something like that. It doesn’t make the conversation go anywhere, but it does fit the emphasis.

  53. Dub Not Dubya
    May 26th, 2005 at 3:01 am [Reply]

    Luban, I got the Clueless reference. Props to you. I have nothing funny to add in this post, alas, except to tell you that my computer was in the shop for a few days, and yet I made a point of finding a way to read the serial comics every day. Darn you, Josh, for this new addiction!

  54. Luban
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:10 am [Reply]

    Lotta hot comic-strip action involving inanimate objects these days… First Ziggy’s mouse is having “phone sex,” now Edda & Amos are having “door sex”…

  55. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 6:11 am [Reply]

    And Amos wanders home in the pre-dawn light, with only his left hand for company…again. Wuss.

  56. WoodrowFan
    May 26th, 2005 at 6:17 am [Reply]

    I don’t think the mouse is, um, being intimate with the phone, unless his penis comes out his belly button.

    My main worry is whether the Forth’s cat has HEALTH INSURANCE!

  57. yellojkt
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    Predictions
    Place the following items in the order they will happen:
    a) Kitty will be found dead or alive.
    b) Buck will recover from his injury and reconcile with his father.
    c) Luann will discover the contents of the file on Scott.
    d) Amos will get to third base.
    e) Mary will convince Rita to attend a 12-step program.
    g) Darby Conley and Bob Lobel settle out of court.
    f) Snowball fight in hell.
    g) Red Sox win World Series.

  58. Monkeys Uncle
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:18 am [Reply]

    Alert! It looks like Cherry has discoverd Mark’s secret and is preparing to slice her own wrist. Bob Crane must be taking meddlin lessons from Mary Worth.

  59. luluchappel
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    My god, what are they feeding THOSE Lost Forest beavers?!?!!?

  60. Monkeys Uncle
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Family Circus gets a little darker.
    http://www.comics.com/comics/acaseinpoint/index.html

    Gil Thorp:
    So is that supposed to be Brent Rap Dog in the letterman jacket and glasses? I hate this strip, even with the butt ugliest haircuts know to man I still cant tell the charecters apart. Hey Rubin and McLaughlin they invented something called continuity, check it out.
    Death to Gil Thorp

  61. Anne Nonymous
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    Hey, Monk, from the look on Cherry’s face, I don’t think she’s going to slit her wrist, I think she’s going to stab Bob Crane, then feed his body to the giant beaver. End of insurance problem.

  62. yellojkt
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    Amos is a lefty? That is way more information than I could have thought available.

    BTW, Check out the innuendo in Sherman’s Lagoon. Not even married sharks get to do it in the comics.

  63. Smitty Smedlap
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    In profile, Lu Ann looks like Lynndie England. Except for the hair.

    And Scott is in a hurry to get back to the Santa Royale Class Reunion, where electric blue leisure suits are the height of fashion:

    http://subdivided_we_stand.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/mary_reunited.gif

  64. yellojkt
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:52 am [Reply]

    Clothing coloring in MW and 3G is reminding me of the old “Are You My Mother Books” where all the colors were dark blue, light blue, red, and pink. Heaven forbid we mix the colors and ruin the page if the printing is off slightly.

    I did the 30 day archive of Case In Point and some of it is really funny, but there were way too many “huh?”‘s. It’s one thing to be obscure, another to be just bizarre and absurd. Zippy has that territory already covered.

    Bill Keane actually keeps an archive of the best Family Circus parodies:
    http://www.familycircus.com/files/takeoffs/takeoffs.html

    We probably linked to this before but here is Marmaduke getting the cheap shot:
    http://www.comics.com/comics/brevity/archive/brevity-20050509.html

    Is there some sort of comic geek smackdown club? You have to kick some geezer strip in the nuts to get some street cred?

  65. Jay Nickola
    May 26th, 2005 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    But afdumin, since Scott knows about that kind of thing, wouldn’t he make sure always to carry his own book of matches? A dating tip I learned from the fine television documentary series “Blind Date.”

  66. Carol
    May 26th, 2005 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Come on now, let’s not be so hard on the Forths. They probably have a cat feeder like this, and it can be difficult to tell how much is being eaten over just a few days with only one cat. At least…that’s what we told ourselves when this happened with Boris.

  67. Darth Morgan, MD
    May 26th, 2005 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Fity Cent Foxworth is caught today saying

    “Just tell me where I’m going.”

    If you are coming here, you are going to HELL!

    Have a nice day.

  68. Col. Hogan
    May 26th, 2005 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Man, check out the size of that Beaver Shot in Mark Trail.

    Just tell me the writers don’t read the postings here.

  69. yellojkt
    May 26th, 2005 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    So what secrets does Kitty know that can’t be let out of the Forth family?
    a) Where Ted keeps his stash of Honcho back issues?
    b) What happens when Marcia comes over to “drop off some paperwork”?
    c) That the herb in Hillary’s bong isn’t catnip?

  70. Fred Flintstone
    May 26th, 2005 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    I see that Lovey has been succesful in evicting the Thumpers®

    It seems that Peebles and BAM! BAM! BAM! Rubble have moved in downstairs.

  71. Jim Davis
    May 26th, 2005 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    I thought my cat was missing for weeks once because the feeder was full, but then I discovered all my leftover lasagna was gone.

  72. fuzzmaster
    May 26th, 2005 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    From the “rumble, rumble, rumble” that the Pitter-Pattersons’ new toy makes as it smacks and cracks its way across the apartment, I’m gonna guess Lovey hasn’t popped for any carpeting in the apartment. In which case, my sympathies are even more strongly with the Kelpfroths. This is why I no longer live an an apartment.

  73. yellojkt
    May 26th, 2005 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    My mother used to love giving our kid very loud toys. She called them Grandma’s Revenge. So is Mira more pissed that her grandkid’s arm is broken or that the Kelpfroths don’t like the toy she bought? I see Mira and Lovey opening up a giant can of Whup-Ass(tm) before this winds down.

  74. Flasshe
    May 26th, 2005 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    Anyone notice that the A3G Lu Ann was rapping today? I think she’s trying out for Gil Thorp. She’s sick of Margo keeping files on her potential boyfriends and wants to find a new strip.

  75. fuzzmaster
    May 26th, 2005 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Can we agree that we have a winner in the “what was that mouse saying” category? Dave G, step forward.

  76. yellojkt
    May 26th, 2005 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    David G’s interpretation is the most plausible. I go with the theory that the joke was along the lines of “But this amp goes to 11.”
    I have never heard of a five-cheese pizza, but when I was in Italy the only words I needed to see on a menu were:
    “Quattro formaggio”
    and I new I had my meal.

  77. daChipster
    May 26th, 2005 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    I think Kitty’s fate has been revealed:

    http://www.chron.com/content/chronicle/comics/archive/showComick.mpl?date=20050526&name=Bizarro

    That fortune cookie was meant for Ted Forth.

  78. daChipster
    May 26th, 2005 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Kardinal yellojkt, one of the cool things about the crowd here is that one of us can say “But this amp goes to 11″ and most of us don’t have to Google it to immediately think “Nigel Tufnel.”

    What’s even cooler in a six-degrees-of-separation sort of way is your comment to my previous comment

    Amp goes to eleven
    Nigel Tufnel
    Christopher Guest
    Count Rugen, the Six Fingered Man
    Inigo Montoya
    Hollo! My name is Luke Foxworth. You brained my son. Prepare to die.

    Also, Boston WON the World Series last year. Get over it. The CUBS now, that’s one level below snowballs in hell. And yet Wrigley Field is one step below heaven. A paradox, yes, and one I intend to explore this afternoon with many beers in the upper deck.

    So if there’s not a lot of messages from me, don’t be silly, of COURSE it’s not due to work.

  79. yellojkt
    May 26th, 2005 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    The g) Red Sox win World Series. line was supposed to have strike-outs (of course, it worked perfect in preview) but my tagging skilz still need work, so I let it go as is, just to see if it would still get a rise out of somebody.

  80. daChipster
    May 26th, 2005 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Only from Cub fans. Okay, a coupla quick hits and I’m outta here:

    Judge Parker: Abbott, Baxter et. al. — SNAP! You’ve been dissed by a sleazy Mexican cop. That about makes it unanimous.

    Phantom: He wants me to WHAT? Read. Damn, I thought you said “breed.” Oh, sput-blub!

    Mark Trail: Beaver shot!

    Gasoline Alley: …and culturally illiterate as well! That’s an ALL carb diet.

    Hello? is this thing on?

  81. yellojkt
    May 26th, 2005 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    Good catch on Gasoline Alley.
    While not as egregious, GW of WaPo cites this strip as having a punchline completely opposite of what should be said:
    http://www.creators.com/0515/wiz/wiz0520g.gif
    If the serf said, “That’s why I’m here!” it would have made sense. Still wouldn’t have been funny, but at least would have made sense.

  82. gg
    May 26th, 2005 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    What, no one else noticed the take off on A Series of Unfortunate Events in Sally’s last line?

    I don’t think it’s funny, even with that, but it is a punchline. Sort of.

    Also, I think Meredith in FBoFW was crying because Granny told her it was so awful, and now Meredith is like, “Yeah! Ow!” Plus extra sympathy. But yes, there is an element of possible further injury done by Granny, now that you mention it.

  83. Islamorada Girl
    May 26th, 2005 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    I live to see Mira go mano a mano with Winnie Kelpfroth. But since this is FBOFW, there will be no resolution to this, or any other storyline. Monday, we’ll just drift into Farley jokes, or Grandpa or some such awfulness. LJ can’t carry a plot in a bucket.

  84. WWW.WCW.WOW
    May 26th, 2005 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Ladieeeeeeeeeeeeeeees and Gentlemen!

    Tonight we have a very special tag team match.

    In this corner we have Lovey “The Hammerin Hebrew” Saltzman teaming with Mira “The Nudge” Sobinski

    versus

    The husband and wife team of The Thumping and Bumping Kelpfroths

    This match will go until there is no more noise and smoke.

  85. Islamorada Girl
    May 26th, 2005 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    No, it would have to be WTW–White Trash Wrestling. On UPN.

  86. Islamorada Girl
    May 26th, 2005 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    And my money’s on Lovey.

  87. Barry
    May 26th, 2005 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Did anyone find today’s Hi and Lois a little creepy? The twins are singing the “Rain rain go away…” chant out the window in complete unison. The catch being, it shows quite clearly through the window that IT’S NOT RAINING. Shades of Stephen King, there.

  88. Barry
    May 26th, 2005 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    For the record, here it is. You can see in the first panel that it’s dry as a bone outside. Perhaps Hi is approaching the with the golf club to put them all out of their horrific thrall (ala the “happy thoughts” episode of Twilight Zone).

    http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/hi.asp

  89. PizzaBagel
    May 26th, 2005 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Nobody mentioned yesterday’s Curtis, in which little bro’ Barry asks their mother, “What is ‘male enhancement’ and why would it make your life better?” (“And what’s an erection, and why should you call a doctor if it lasts for more than four hours?”) Unfortunately, there’s no follow-up in today’s strip. I can only imagine how it was resolved.

  90. yellojkt
    May 26th, 2005 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    But firrrst, our undercards:

    Elizabeth “Lizard Breath” Patterson against Thérèse “the Terror” Caine in a steel cage death match.

    annnnnnnnd

    April “Showers” Patterson up against Becky “Roadside” McGuire for the Intercontinental Fake Slang Belt.

  91. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    I got nothing. Too emotionally drained by 9CL.

  92. yellojkt
    May 26th, 2005 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    Change April’s rasslin’ name to “Foob Fighter”.

  93. Anne Nonymous
    May 26th, 2005 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    Check out today’s Pearls Before Swine and you will see where the zebra’s next-door-neighbor crocodiles learned how to speak English. Nice bit of ethnic stereotyping, Pastis, I’m sure you’ll hear from gypsies (who I believe prefer to be called the Roma). (Rat has sold Pig to the gypsies, and they intend to barbecue him. Poor Pig, but I bet he’d taste real good.)

  94. Incident
    May 26th, 2005 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    I have no idea what’s going on in Judge Parker, but aren’t there two characters out in the jungle, presumably having Indiana Jones-type adventures? Why are we seeing two boring people in a room?

    I suspect if LeDoux and Wilson had created ‘Lost’ it would be about two baggage handlers who sometimes say “What happened to that plane?”

    Hell, LeDoux and Wilson could find a way to make “Waiting for Godot” more depressing.

  95. WWW.WCW.WOW
    May 26th, 2005 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    One more undercard

    Elly The Spittin Momma Patterson

    versus

    Kortney Great Train Robber Krelbutz.

  96. Amos B. Going
    May 26th, 2005 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    I was drained by 9CWL also. Just the thought of poor Amos carrying Edda on that door makes me tired. In the last panel you can see he is starting to buckle under the great weight of the door and fatso Edda. I think she is on the South Gasoline Alley Beach diet.

    Sad

  97. yellojkt
    May 26th, 2005 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    fluffytufts,
    You gotta rally. Edda’s virtue will be in danger again. She still has that scumbucket violinist chasing her. In the really good soap operas, the evil villian seduces the ingenue right before the hero can make his true intentions known. McEldowney will string us along for years to come.

  98. Darth O'Really©
    May 26th, 2005 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    There was a janitor Gaines
    Whose file still remains.
    Margo has notes
    of him and some goats
    and one tattered pair of Haines®

  99. WWW.WCW.WOW
    May 26th, 2005 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    And in a newly added match we have

    Edda, The Pajama Mama

    versus

    The I Man Amos

    In a doorbusting match to the smooch.

  100. Flasshe
    May 26th, 2005 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Like Rita Begler, I signed up for the “Have your bills taped to your door” service, which is so much better than automatic deductions from your bank account and stuff like that. Although the damn neighborhood kids keep stealing them, and I don’t find out about it until the power gets turned off and my TiVo fails to record Matlock.

  101. Emperor Meddletine
    May 26th, 2005 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    “Maybe I can bring a meal to her apartment.”

    Hmmmmmm

    Maybe some coq au vin? Or maybe, just maybe some mari au vin?

    Mary just wants to bring a meal because she knows what Rita like to eat.

  102. Emperor Meddletine
    May 26th, 2005 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    . . . what Rita likeS to eat.

    I need to pay my grammar (grammer?) bill once in a while.

  103. Gilmore Guy
    May 26th, 2005 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    Let’s catch up with news from Lu Ann
    She’s gone and caught herself a man
    She thought he did more
    Than just mop the floor
    When high school boys can’t hit the can

  104. J.Po
    May 26th, 2005 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    I got nothing today either…part of it too much work, part Eddalust hangover. I am SO through with her.

    One interesting (I hope) observation, though…how Mary Worth’s car glass seems to have the same effect as the glass at Luann and Scott’s school, that being that it renders the person and objects behind it black-and-white, from which they emerge later, in Wizard of Oz fashion, in glorious, electric-blue-saturated Technicolor®.

    Maybe things are different here, but when I look out windows or into cars (usually to call the phone-wielding occupant a “foob,” or something stronger), COLOR SEEMS TO BE VISIBLE THROUGH GLASS. Strange.

    Mark Trail: Nice beaver.

    Kardinal daChipster, hope you enjoyed the game…Wrigley and Fenway are clearly the two Cathedrals of Baseball on earth.

    Death to Gil Thorp and the Yankees.

  105. dastardly
    May 26th, 2005 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    Mice used to have sex with my phone all the time. When I finally switched to cellular it stopped being a problem. (No doubt the risk of penile cancer scared them off.)

  106. Amos B Going
    May 26th, 2005 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Oh sure, everyone is through with Edda. Just wait til she shows up on your couch in her jammies. Then we’ll see just who is through.

  107. O'Really©
    May 26th, 2005 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    There once was a cute little mouse(s)
    who lived at Ziggy’s fine house(s)
    He liked pizza with cheese
    not the rest of that sleaze
    and those who think it are just louse(s).

  108. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    Yes, no doubt Edda’s virtue will be tested again. But really, now – how much virtue are we talkin’ about here? She was the one all geared up to go, gettin’ all gropey and sloppy. If Amos’d had the testicular fortitude to plunge ahead, he’d have encountered only token resistance, methinks. I think the real reason he bailed is an unfortunate tendency to think too damn much. All that crap about the unexamined life, blah, blah, blah. Either that, or he went roadside in his pants.

  109. Anne Nonymous
    May 26th, 2005 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    J.Po, you know darned well that you’re not through with Edda. Wait until the next time you see her in her nice little leotard, doing impossible stretches with that lithe, firm, youthful 18-year-old body.

  110. J.Po
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    I can’t allow myself to be strung along, Anne. I need to cut my losses and move on. Like to a Ketel One in about 5 minutes.

    Wait…did you say “lithe, firm, youthful 18-year-old body?” Will she be perspiring just a wee bit…?

  111. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    J.Po – Stop! Stop! I gotta put it all behind me!

  112. Anne Nonymous
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    No doubt. And think of your imagination running wild about situations in which the incredible suppleness and dexterity of her body could be put to good use.

  113. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    Hello. My name is Fluffy T., and I’m an Eddaholic.

  114. Gilmore Guy
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    There once was a fella named Ziggy.
    Who wanted a pizza, no biggy.
    His mouse grabbed the phone
    And started to moan
    Then later they both had a ciggy

  115. J.Po
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    Fluffy – I think our 12-step Eddaholics Anonymous program needs to START with drinking. Meet ya someplace along I-95 in Maryland? I’ll be the one wearing an electric blue beanie…unless yellojkt’s there too…

  116. Anne Nonymous
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    Oh, dear, fluff and J.Po, did I act as an enabler to allow you two to fall off the Eddaholics Anonymous wagon? So sorry.

  117. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    Okay, J.Po – And see if you can talk Islamorada Girl into coming along – If she wears her electric blue metallic high priestess bustier, it might take my mind off of Ms. Burber. Maybe.

  118. Woodrowfan
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    I’m not an Eddaholic, I can whenever I want to!

  119. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    More like a facilitator, Anne – an evil facilitator.

  120. Anne Nonymous
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

    Who you calling evil, fluffy? Step outside and say that again. I merely chose this method to point out your delusions of having “gotten over” Edda. Before you can truly heal, you must confront your true feelings and deal with them.

  121. J.Po
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    Edda who?

  122. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    Wow. Okay. I’ll admit my true feelings, as long as there’s free coffee at the meetings. I gotta have coffee, or no dice.

  123. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    You’re fooling no one, J.Po.

  124. J.Po
    May 26th, 2005 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    Denial is a powerful drug, my friend.

  125. J.Po
    May 26th, 2005 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    And this just in:

    CHICAGO – Jason Jennings pitched seven strong innings, and Preston Wilson and Todd Greene hit solo homers as the Colorado Rockies snapped a three-game losing streak with a 5-2 victory over the Chicago Cubs on Thursday.

    The highlight of the game, however, occurred after concession stands shut off beer sales in the 7th inning and an unidentified Cubs’ fan in the upper deck, wearing an electric blue robe and beanie, had to be physically subdued by police after becoming loud and unruly.

    The fan, as he was being led out of the stadium, commented only “But I am a Kardinal!” and “Death to Gil Thorp.”

  126. Islamorada Girl
    May 26th, 2005 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    Guys, guys, guys. The first step is to admit you have an Edda problem. That Edda renders you powerless, that you have forgotten she’s a two dimensional pen and ink drawing. You must put yourselves into the hands of Kardinal Power and start the long, twelve step road to lusting after filter-photo’d, airbrushed, surgically enhanced women again.

    I’m on my way to the Waffle Haus on 1-95, just as soon as I can get
    the buckles on this electric blue bustier fastened. Hold on!

  127. Islamorada Girl
    May 26th, 2005 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    PS. I blame Gil Thorp for all of this Edda abuse. Death to him.

  128. Ketel-J.Po
    May 26th, 2005 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    Unless this Waffle House serves vodka, I’m out.

  129. Ketel-J.Po
    May 26th, 2005 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    On second thought, fine, I’ll be there, but if only to see Isla in the bustier. (Which is a positive step, isn’t it?)

  130. Islamorada Girl
    May 26th, 2005 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    There, there, Po, we’ll keep the light on and the vodka cold for ya. And coffee. And snacks. And coq au vin.

    Shout out to RememberByronFrost! Where are you, girl? Your fellow Kards need you here!

  131. Anne Nonymous
    May 26th, 2005 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    Maybe she’s already at the Waffle Haus.

  132. J.Po
    May 26th, 2005 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    I second the shout-out to RBF! I was wondering the same thing yesterday. Flash the Kard-signal (what would that be, a big “Jack Elrod” circle?) in the sky!

  133. Anne Nonymous
    May 26th, 2005 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    You know, guys, let’s not panic yet. It’s possible that RBF has a real life which is taking up her time lately. I’m sure she will be contacting us soon.

  134. Islamorada Girl
    May 26th, 2005 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    We need girlfriend Kardette RBF back here to even out the testosterone imbalance.Come home, honey! We miss you!

    Turn on the Frostlight and scan the skies!

    More hormones, Mule!

  135. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    I guess I haven’t been reading these posts as closely as I should: I’d no idea RememberByronFrost is female. Sorry RBF – I’ve been too tightly focused on Edda, dammit.

  136. Anne Nonymous
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    I-Girl, upon looking back at the posts on this thread, I agree with you: wa-a-a-a-y too much testosterone. Where are all our fellow Kardinalettes? We need some balance here. (Maybe all the dripping testosterone in this thread drove them all away!)

  137. Lor (for all the guys)
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    I don’t practice Santorium
    I ain’t got no crystal ball
    Well I had some comic punchlines but I, I lost them all
    If I could find that Edda and that girlie-man she kissed
    Well I’d pop a cap in Amos and I’d show her what she missed
    What I really wanna know my baby
    What I really wanna say, I can’t define
    Well it’s love that I neeeeeed
    My soul will have to wait till I get back
    Find an Edda of my own
    Daddy’s gonna love one and all
    I feel the break, feel the break, feel the break
    And I gotta live it out
    Oh yeah un-huh

    Tell Amos that if he knows what is good for him
    He best go run and hide
    Daddy’s got a new .45
    And I won’t think twice
    To stick that barrel straight down wuss-boy’s throat
    Believe me when I say that I got something for his punk-ass
    What I really wanna know my Edda
    What I really wanna say, is there’s just one way back
    And I’ll make it
    Those 12 Steps will have to wait

  138. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    Well, Anne and Princess Islamoradadada, this particular seething batch of testosterone is going to go eat dinner, so maybe things can balance out while I’m gone. Bye-ya.

  139. J.Po
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    Lor, you rock!

    Good night, you Kardinals of Komixdom, you Princes and Princesses of Joshworld..the testosterone will subside by tomorrow (we’re all just trying to overcompensate for Amos).

  140. Adam-12
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Long time reader, first time commenter here; curse you all, I can’t believe I’m actually reading Rex Morgan, Mary Worth, et al on a regular basis. I’ve even succumbed to the custom comics page of the Chronicle so I can keep up with Apt. 3G and Gil Thorpe (death to him, by the way). Arrgh! Now I’m posting comments. I hath been corrupted! But you’ll never get me to read Spiderman or Family Circus, never I tell you!

  141. Anne Nonymous
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    That’s what you think, Adam-12. And welcome to the thread.

  142. daChipster
    May 26th, 2005 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    Okay first of all, the game went by so quickly I had only bought my fifth beer when I looked up and realized it was the seventh. So I nursed that one through a couple of pitching changes and lookahere! there’s bars right outside in the neighborhood.

    Second, even were I Francis Cardinal George, Cardinal Archbishop of the Archdiocese of Chicgo, I NEVER in a million years would stand up in Wrigley and proclaim myself to be a Cardinal. Quickest way to get beer thrown on you.

    Third, it’s not electric blue, it’s Cubby blue, the color of my blood and tears. And the hat was a white panama.

    Fourth, the cops were very understanding and the cuffs weren’t too tight.

    Fifth. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! RBF is a girl?!? I’ve got a couple of months of comments to re-read and re-interpret tonight.

    Who needs Edda! I’ve got the Girls of Comics Curmudgeon (there’s a pictorial for you, Playboy!) Lord, I hope it’s true what they all say: “Turn ons – a sense of humor.”

  143. Anne Nonymous
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    Maybe we need our own calendar. The Komix Kurmudgeon Kardinalettes Kalendar.

  144. Islamorada Girl
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    The Cubs. More of an unrequited romance than Edda. I’m so sorry about that, Chipster. As an Orioles fan, I know just how you feel, dude.

    Death to the Yankees!

    And welcome to our little corner of the world, Adam- 12. We’ll have you devotedly deconstructing Family Circus in no time!

  145. Gilmore Guy
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    One Adam-Twelve, One Adam Twelve, Cat up a tree…

  146. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    Hey – (burp) – a Kardinalette Kalendar would be great! Alert Cafe Press! Should Josh get a cut as engenderererer of this whole shooting match?

    More objectification, mule!

  147. RBF
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

    Thanks fellow Kardinals for noticing my embarrassed absence. WARNING: do not step away for a day or two, it takes a while to get caught up! And speaking of embarrassment, I don’t want to make a witty comment that’s already been made, now do I? You guys get funnier by the minute – pity my monitor and keyboard, again !

    I promise to get caught up soon with da wit, etc, but meantime, you guys sure make for great reading material!

    BTW, Whazzup with all the post-it’s on Alky Momzilla Rita’s door?

    Plus, don’t you just LOVE June Morgan’s ungawdly naivete once again, NOW she’s inviting a stranger’s (let’s face it, she doesn’t know Pusboy from Jackshit) RELATIVES to stay with her?

    Abbey, where ARE you? (not to mention neglected, emaciated widdle Sarah)

  148. fluffytufts
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    “One Adam-12, One Adam-12: See the blog at http://www.comicscurmudgeon.com. Suspected lame attempts at humor and unlawful expenditure of free time. Bloggers are reportedly over-educated and over sexed. Be advised of a Giant Komics Vortex in the vicinity. You may be sucked in; Repeat – you may be sucked in. Also – be on the lookout for a woman in an electric blue metal bustier – suspect is armed with a bent or dented sword. Approach with caution. Use of tickling authorized. Over”

  149. Adam-12
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    Cubs, Orioles, Cubs, Orioles…try being a Pirates fan (we WILL regain 3rd place and we WILL break .500 this year).

    I must confess (konfess?) to having my eyes wander over Family Circus during moments of pre-Cheerios weakness. But I never enjoyed it, I swear!

  150. RBF
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    Yeh, right…

  151. Woodrowfan
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    So long as I don’t call my wife “Edda” I’ll be fine.

  152. J. Po
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    Glad to hear you’re back among those imprisoned only by these horrid Komix, Kardinal daC. I think Wrigley would be a good place for a Konklave, don’t you?

    Welcome, Adam-12, from the other side of the Commonwealth, equally Phutile in baseball. Once you post, you’re hooked. Trust me.

    And RBF, glad to hear you’re back among us and sorry that the constraints of real life kept you away.

    Where can I order my Kalendar?

    Death to the Yankees.

  153. RBF
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    Wrigley would be a great place for a KonKlave J.Po, and yeh Death to the Yankees
    Sure miss Harry Carey

  154. RBF
    May 26th, 2005 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    And yeah, a little late commenting, WTF is that 200 foot Beaver on Mark Trail ? Is Jack Elrod getting horny?

  155. Islamorada Girl
    May 26th, 2005 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    RBF! Where you been, girl?

    I think Ritzilla’s door is covered with eviction notices. She’s homeless and will have to seek refuge with Marzilla, just as soon as they get her out of rehab! In about two months, they’ll finally break the door down and find her passed out among the empty Johnny Walker Red bottles.

    The conspiranoia’d among us think Elrod stuck that giant beaver in the strip to give the Josh Heads a poke in the eye.

  156. Abbey
    May 26th, 2005 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    And where am I now?

    The AIR EVAC HELICOPTER does not need to be flown, fity cent foxworth has been found, pus boy is in recovery. What am I supposed to do?

    Sniff around the chili in the cafeteria to see if there are any missing fingers there?

    BARK! BARK! BARK!®

  157. fuzzmaster
    May 26th, 2005 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    As a native Chicagoan and current Clevelander, Adam-12, I don’t know whether to resent your suggestion that anyone is as miserable as a Cubs fan or — let me look this up in my “You Might Be a Clevelander If” guide– ah, yes, give you a raspberry for being a Pittsburgher. But welcome to the kollege anyway.

    Oh, and death to the Mets.

    (Still hung up on ’69)

  158. Islamorada Girl
    May 26th, 2005 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    And personally, I can’t wait until Fity Cent the Combover King, takes up residence on the Morgan’s foldout couch!

    You Fence Post bastard,
    You killed my son!
    Now he’s on Rescue 911!

  159. Sourbelly
    May 26th, 2005 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    Hey! You got the day of the week wrong!

  160. Someday will Settle on a Name
    May 26th, 2005 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Ted Forth hunting for pussy.

    *cough cough cough*

    *snort snort*

    *chortle*

    Yeah, and Amos will get laid.

  161. Bookworm
    May 26th, 2005 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

    Abbey, you still have to point out the package in the cabinet again. June and Rex still haven’t found that, remember?

  162. Abbey
    May 26th, 2005 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    My god you are right!

    And they need to get some food to widdle Sarah before. . .

    nevermind.

    Not even HEALTH INSURANCE can help her now.

    BARK! BARK! BARK!®

  163. Adam-12
    May 26th, 2005 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    Fuzzmaster, I didn’t mean to negate your status as a Cubs fan. If anything, I’m commiserating with all those who root for the perennial also-rans. Naturally, though, I’ll never be able to out-miserable even a transplanted Clevelander!

    Also, why on earth is June running down Buck’s next-of-kin? Doesn’t Rexmorganville have a constabulary to do this? Shouldn’t they notify the police of the assault? Maybe Milford’s only “police-WOMAN” should investigate, if she’s through busting high school poker games. (At the very least, call Mark Trail!)

  164. Prof. Reader
    May 26th, 2005 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    Update: 158 comments, and nobody points out that I got the day of the week wrong in the title of this post? Thank God for the future Mrs. C.

    She’s reads the post titles so we don’t have to.

  165. Islamorada Girl
    May 26th, 2005 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    Eh, Tuesday, Wednesday, what difference does it make? The Kardinals are all slackers who could care less.

  166. Roger M. Wilcox
    May 27th, 2013 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    Ziggy is doing a world of disservice to his readers.

    He is perpetuating the myth that mice love cheese. It’s a myth, I tell you! Sure, mice will eat cheese if there’s no other food source around, but given their preference they’d prefer to eat … um … mouse food thingies. Mouse traps were traditionally baited with cheese because that was the only edible thing the mouse-trap-owners had lying around.

Comments are closed for this post.