The Comics Curmudgeon

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Only you can prevent shirtlessness

Mark Trail, 8/16/09

Ah, there’s nothing more relaxing in your Sunday Mark Trail than seeing terrified horses running from an all-consuming inferno! This week’s edutaining Sunday strip reminds me of why I find Smokey the Bear so unsettling, which is because he’s wearing pants and no shirt. I can sort of see the chain of logic that got clothes on him in the first place — they had to put the hat on him to show that he was a forest ranger, and then once that happened he was a little too anthropomorphized to get away with no pants; I just don’t understand why the thought process stopped there. Surely there’s some sort of snappy uniform shirt they could have put on him? Because as it is he sort makes me think that forest rangers used to lounge around their fire towers shirtless, like slobs, which makes me glad that they all got fired due to budget cuts and replaced by people calling on their cell phones and saying “Hey, is this the government? I, uh, I think your forest is on fire.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/17/09

I’ve been avoiding talking about Rex Morgan because I or someone I love losing their memory and forgetting who all their loved ones are is one of my very worst nightmares; and so, grasping at straws, I’m willing to accept this half-hearted conversation as a sign that we’re getting back to what I thought this storyline was all about, which is to say adultery, and suspicions of adultery. Normally I don’t root for uninteresting, semi-attractive people to flirt in the comics, but if it takes panel time away from “I don’t know who I am or where I am and I think I’m married to this person who isn’t my husband, ha ha,” then I’m all for it.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 17, 2009 at 01:13 am and is filed under Mark Trail, Rex Morgan, M.D..

217 responses to “Only you can prevent shirtlessness”

Digger
August 17th, 2009 at 1:17 am [Reply]

I’d like to know where Smokey was when the orange-clad sniper torched his car in the middle of the forest. Judging from the man-boobs and giant beer belly, it looks like old Smokey was hanging out in the bar instead of doing his duty. I never thought I’d say this, but that bear needs to put a shirt on.
Tabby
August 17th, 2009 at 1:18 am [Reply]

Sonny is drugging the residents as part of a scheme to collect on mum & the ol golf pro & the professor’s retirement incomes in an elaborate ploy involving a crooked doctor, who probably sports facial hair.

Mark my words.
NotThatGuy
August 17th, 2009 at 1:21 am [Reply]

Ah, Mark, Mark Trail. Around here, the light planes are patrolling for marijuana plantations and people really do call in fires from their cell phones. (Snip beat-down of local Lockheed wildlands fire, increased human population in environment that co-evolved to burn, and personal viewing of Smokey the Bear, sans pants, at the National Zoo when I was six.)
zenvelo
August 17th, 2009 at 1:23 am [Reply]

I figured Mr Howard to be one of the residents who only thinks that’s his mom. And Henry is really a victim who’ll be fine once he’s off his meds.
Anna Nimity
August 17th, 2009 at 1:26 am [Reply]

Oh, Digger, Smokey does NOT have a beer belly, because bears don’t drink beer. They only drink single-malt whiskey.
Jeez, I thought EVERYONE knew that.

And doncha think his moobs are kinda furry and sexy? Grrrrrowl!
zenvelo
August 17th, 2009 at 1:27 am [Reply]

so no mention of Slylock today? Receipts are no alibi, you went back and stole an exact duplicate of everything you bought yesterday? Who the hell would do that? And this strip teaches kids that the police are always right, even in the face of irrefutable evidence…
zenvelo
August 17th, 2009 at 1:31 am [Reply]

Smokey is hitching to San Francisco for the bear booth at the Folsom Street fair (Sept 27).
Asterion
August 17th, 2009 at 1:32 am [Reply]

I’m with zenvelo on this one. I mean, it wouldn’t be that hard to, I dunno, check and see if he has two of everything on that receipt?
carbunicle
August 17th, 2009 at 1:36 am [Reply]

For a second I thought Rex Morgan was Funky Winkerbean with the misery and despair and all. And look at that first throwaway panel, it’s all Batiucky.
Baka Gaijin
August 17th, 2009 at 1:36 am [Reply]

Josh on Smokey the Bear: Apparently Dingo isn’t the only one who likes shirtless bears with hairy chests.
Oavis aka Rusty Fjord
August 17th, 2009 at 1:38 am [Reply]

Accodring to Mark Trail, the name you’re looking for is “Smokey Bear.” A subtle re-branding by the Forest Service? Or did the ursine himself just decide that having a definite article for a middle name was too odd and unwieldy?
Red Greenback
August 17th, 2009 at 1:39 am [Reply]

Mark Trail: Where did you get that dumb looking tent, Mark? Wait, let me guess… yard sale at Crock’s, right?
alex
August 17th, 2009 at 1:42 am [Reply]

Has he considered that his mother might appear not to know him because of his unsettling habit of morphing into Mr T whenever he’s shown from the back?
Mibbitmaker
August 17th, 2009 at 1:47 am [Reply]

Ah, something new’s been added!:

A3G: That’s funny, we didn’t.

Archie: What’s funny is that that star seems to be trying to lick Cammie’s booby.

Cranky: Someone ought to cancel this strip, it’s too full of corn. (actually, it’s too full of repulsive, but that joke was too perfect to scrap)

FW: Hell, in Batiukland, there’s no fun at all (since the ’80s, anyway)

GA: Car race? That’s not Conan, that’s David Letterman, Scancadummy! Next, someone’s got to tell that guy that Craig Ferguson was NOT the guy who was on SNL a few years ago…

GT: It’s working. I guess Kaz won’t be needing the 3 ghosts after all.

H&J: Thank you, Tom Batiuk.

Popeye: Brutus/Bluto is not playing with a full poopdeck.
MolyBendum
August 17th, 2009 at 1:51 am [Reply]

Smoky Smoky Smoky. Gay jokes and moobs aside. There were over 77,000 wildfires, not forest fires. Christ, why the grandstanding? Kids can’t take the truth, you gotta scare them? That’s right…don’t give them the facts that even though more acreage was burned in 2008, it was less that the 2 preceeding years. It’s crap like that that makes me want to set my Smoky the Bear doll on fire. In the woods.
I think Smoky would have been more effective if every kid that came to see him at the zoo (I saw him there too!) got a charred piece of timber ground out on their arm as a perpetual reminder that SMOKY WILL GET YOU IF YOU FUCK WITH FIRE.
Baka Gaijin
August 17th, 2009 at 1:52 am [Reply]

#Y6 jtg33: I like that; washing the Keanes over a waterfall inside a tent. There’s something viscerally amusing about that.

Y17 Poteet: “Billy’s horrid little ass is no pleasure?” Ma’am, you’re spending way to much time looking at this strip. Horrifyingly too much time.
carbunicle
August 17th, 2009 at 1:54 am [Reply]

Having mentioned Bezelbatiuk, I had to take a look at the ol’ ‘beanster and … aaaaaaaaaaagh. Nice drawing and all but damn it, what a downer. Let’s just rename it the Tragics Pages and have a a bowl of arsenic. Jesus. It’s a sad day when you look to Crankshaft for a little levity and … what the hell is that? Is that supposed to be some darling bit of geezer humor? Leave the hardened arteries and cataracts to Pluggers … and wha? The younger workers are in their late fifties? It doesn’t make any goddamn sense and it’s not funny. I knew better to look at that which only the strongest dare may behold without losing their mind. Forgive me, Josh, you warned me!
Taquelli
August 17th, 2009 at 1:56 am [Reply]

My god, what happened to the clean, smooth lines of Rex Morgan, M.D.? It all looks so shaky and indistinct and I don’t like this fella from Ghost World just popping in to confuse an old lady and the colorist just went way overboard with his mustard-colored pen. The strip could use a little quality control soon, if only so the story gets back to June’s piercing bitchy looks.
MolyBendum
August 17th, 2009 at 2:10 am [Reply]

Sunday MT: “Look Mark!”
“Oh shit, get down. Look boy, if anyone asks, I’m your uncle, got it? It’s like I told you, one wrong word to anyone and I’ll bust more than your cherry.”

Honestly though, when I’m camping somewhere secluded I think the last thing I want is the Forest Service doing fly-bys of my campsite. Very seldom am I doing anything in the middle of a forest I want any national agency to know about.
Poteet
August 17th, 2009 at 2:11 am [Reply]

# 16 Baka — You’ll get no argument from me on that one.

MT — Gaah, again I see that dumb line about “keep our forest areas free from destruction.” Yes, our former put-every-fire-out-right-away policy has worked out so well for the North American continent, hasn’t it? Hugely unnatural fuel loads, fire-dependent species heading toward extinction, Midwestern oak savannas strangling to death, etc. etc.

I salute the enlightened land managers who are doing much-needed prescribed burning. How nice it would be to see their work recognized in MT. Andy, please suggest it to Mark. I’m sure some kind of facial-hair punching could be worked into a prescribed-fire story.
Uncle Lumpy
August 17th, 2009 at 2:13 am [Reply]

SMOKY WILL GET YOU IF YOU FUCK WITH FIRE
Spiny Norman
August 17th, 2009 at 2:20 am [Reply]

Wow, Smokey in panel #2 is sending me back to my childhood in the south. I think it may be the “carelessness of humans” that gave him that god-awful belt buckle, a mitten-shaped paw, and a semi-human-shaped crotch. And a shovel? Has fire-fighting technology advanced at all since Smokey was born? I live near the current Santa Cruz Mountains fires, and if we were relying on shovels, we could kiss our banana slugs goodbye.

RMMD: “Golf lessons”? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Maybe it’s something to do with washing the balls.
True Fable
August 17th, 2009 at 2:20 am [Reply]

Smokey’s friends don’t laugh at his bear boobs.

But we do. snerk!
Spiny Norman
August 17th, 2009 at 2:22 am [Reply]

Or asking your caddy for the wood. Come to think of it, virtually all golf jargon sounds dirty if you’re in the right mood.
Baka Gaijin
August 17th, 2009 at 2:24 am [Reply]

Slylock Fox: Sorry, no, you’re wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Sir Hound turned the plant around to keep it bushing out evenly. Look under Sir Hound’s computer keyboard, Foxy. You’ll find his password, which conveniently is “password”. Thus, the combination was cleverly hidden behind the painting, and it 1-1-1. Who would EVER think to look for it there? Reeky Rat, that’s who!

Beetle Bailey: What else is Sarge gonna blow, Beetle?

Cathy: Dude’s not just a chick, he’s Cathy. AAACK!

Get Fuzzy: Sock him Satch! Sock him into next week.

Luann: I’m getting the barf bags (note the plural “bags”) ready. It looks like a ~~nauseaous nauseious~~ puke-inducing week.

Mark Trail: Yeah right, Shooter of that Other Guy, you can shoot Mark Trail. I’d like to see that. Go on, do it. Do it, do it, DO IT!!!

Marvin: Don’t flatter yourself. Your anal output isn’t gold. They’re fighting over the last Depends for their incontinent husbands.

Mary Worth: Why do they have their smily faces on? Their conversations imply they’d put on their frowny faces.

My Cage: Pretty creepy there. Not as bad as Dick Tracy clowns, thank goodness.

Pluggers: “You’re a Plugger if your lunch box is several years older than your coworkers and twice as large.”…because you’re such a huge fatass.

Sally Forth: It’s official. Ted’s grown a pair and now wears the pants in the family. Go Ted!

Better Half: The cat speaks! The cat speaks! Just don’t grow stripes, Kitty.
Baka Gaijin
August 17th, 2009 at 2:37 am [Reply]

#22 Spiny Norman on Mark Trail; But wouldn’t you want to burn up all the banana slugs? From the name I’d bet they’re not cute like puppies licking a toddler’s face. But not Marvin’s face. Marvin could play with the banana slugs to make them look cuter.

Aaaaaannnd, for the disturbing part of the post. Near the exit to one of the Alaskan air bases is a full-sized statue of Smoky the Bear, resplendent in ranger hat and skin-tight Wranglers. Based on the crotch bulge, he’s hung like a horse. A furry’s wet dream.
MolyBendum
August 17th, 2009 at 2:41 am [Reply]

8/17
Beetle Bailey is gayer than Meaning of Lila. Without even trying? I don’t know, it’s hard to tell (that’s what Sarge said).

Candorville: I learned a new word: bougie. As a person who never has, and never will, say “bougie”, I still realize what it is and where it comes from. I wonder if it works both ways. You would think since Lemont has known Clyde since they were kids he’d have a better grasp on what he’s really like – an Oreo…all white on the inside. God I hate this strip.
Buck Ripsnort
August 17th, 2009 at 2:46 am [Reply]

“In New Mexico/ Many years ago,/ A fire trapped a beeaaarrr”. . . . Old enough to remember the Smokey Saturday morning cartoon, by Gawd.

And this whole Rex Morgan feels like something swiped from Batiuk’s drawers. “What kind of writer are you, Rex Morgan guy?”
True Fable
August 17th, 2009 at 2:53 am [Reply]

Fist O Justice Theater Time to call in the Ginormous Animals to take that guy out.

Meddle House “I can make an even better difference after I’ve felt your melons for a while!”

Apartment of Doom Peach Cobbler: the secret weapon of tomorrow!

Sam Driver, Chick Magnet Now y’all know I loooove Eduardo Barreto’s work, but at first glance I thought Sam was lining up that coffee cup in panel two the way he might line up a dart for a throw, and was planning to pitch it at Sophie’s pert little nose. I’d pay big money to see that, actually, just for the fun of it.

Have You Seen This Doctor? Enough already! Bring back Rex and June!

Fucky Wangstabber Oh right, I’d switch venues too, Batuik. After that monumental pile of shit you served yesterday, I’d go to anything other than Becky’s Choice.

C’haft That’s what they get for even letting him in the door.

Between Foobs What, is “put it in your room for now” too hard to say? I’m not of a mind to see this chick go down the Elly Patterson the Martyr path any further. Grow a backbone, woman.

Scenes from Suburban Hell Yessss, Lois. Let your eyes bulge as if staring down the dark abyss of terror as you realize all those times you left Trixie alone with nothing but a ray of sun for company, all those times you made her eat creamed spinach, all those times you made her wear that same god-awful frilly outfit that makes her look as if her ass is a big daisy, all those times you brushed her hair into those pitiful wisps to form some sort of unworldly tricorn, is coming back to you like the Hound of Hell returning home to chew on your marrow like a favored toy. It’s too late, Lois. Trixie can throw blocks now and its only a matter of time before she pitches the steam iron at your fragile, crushable temple. Once she takes out your slower, lumbering husband Hi, she’s coming for you.
Aviatrix
August 17th, 2009 at 2:58 am [Reply]

I was going to ask whether Americans really patrolled their forests in ancient single engine taildraggers, but then I realized that the aircraft is depicted that way for the same reason there are horses in panel three: it’s a major effort for Mark Trail to include technology that became common after 1923.
Judas Peckerwood
August 17th, 2009 at 3:02 am [Reply]

MT: Remember kids, only YOU can prevent forests fires. Which, uh, would prevent the U.S. Forest Service from letting timber companies clear-cut those same forests at a net loss to U.S. taxpayers. SO BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!
BigTed
August 17th, 2009 at 3:07 am [Reply]

Seeing Smokey the anthropomorphic Bear in the second panel, and an actual bear lumbering along in the last panel, is just creepy. It’s the ursine version of a Disney cartoon featuring both Goofy and Pluto, or a Plugger with a pet puppy.
DJTennessee
August 17th, 2009 at 3:08 am [Reply]

What kind of writer are you, Mr. Howard?

Dear Penthouse Forum,

You’re never going to believe this, but recently after putting my mother is assisted living…
Dr Pill
August 17th, 2009 at 3:28 am [Reply]

#28, Buck Ripsnort: Yep, ol’ Smoky (the bear in the zoo) was from N.M., found after a forest fire as a cub clinging to a blackened tree with his little paws burnt. Story had instant tragic appeal, so the cub became the living manifestation of the forest-fighting bear. Who, as Poteet says, led the fight to stop all forest fires that resulted in a huge build-up of fuel. Ironically — let no one say nature doesn’t have a sense of humor — one of the most devastating fires in NM was started by Park Service officials doing a controlled burn. They picked the wrong day, the wind came up, the fire roared out of control and several houses in Los Alamos were destroyed along with a couple of buildings at the Los Alamos lab. Where was Smoky? Hiding his head in shame, I’d say.

FW: I used to like Becky. Losing an arm in a stupid drunken crash, ending a promising musical career, then becoming a band director against those odds, remaining faithful to Wally during his first disappearance. But looking at her sending him away with those pitiful justifications just makes my skin crawl. It ain’t really her, of course, it’s that hack writer Batiuk. Why couldn’t he have killed Wally and given him an honorable out? ‘Course, he still might, when Wally off himself after braining Harry with the trombone. Sure, just pile on the pathos, Batiuk.
That scene where Wally is walking away with that damned trombone is just heart-breaking.
flodnak
August 17th, 2009 at 3:34 am [Reply]

Please, God, don’t let “Henry wants to give everyone golf lessons!” turn out to be the double entendre it is so desperately trying to be. Please?
Simon
August 17th, 2009 at 3:43 am [Reply]

MW: Clearly “making a difference from home too” is code for “let me arouse your nipple with the lightest of touches”. No wonder his fans are grateful
PepperjackCandy
August 17th, 2009 at 3:59 am [Reply]

“If you see a roadside or wilderness fire that is not under control, be sure to report it.”

Report it to whom? Is there 911 in the wilderness?
Mr. O'Malley
August 17th, 2009 at 4:12 am [Reply]

27. MolyBendum. I believe that “bougie” is French for “sparkplug”, but does it mean something in English?

FW: So long, Wally. Glad you could drop by! Come over next Memorial Day! We’re having peach cobbler!

Lockhorns: I wish I knew that budget airline with wide seats, plenty of legroom and spacious aisles.

MW: Now the purple bedstead has turned salmon colored. As opposed to the salmon squares, which turn purple if you leave them out too long.

Apparently Lawrence has just discovered YouTube.

You’re a Plugger if your lunch is several years older than most of your co-workers.

RMMD: This is one of Mark’s co-workers? I believe that Mark’s lunch box is several years older than this guy.

MT: Walking around in circles? My co-worker could recommend a place for you to stay!

RwO: Al Dente can’t eat wheat. Al Mamater flunked out of college. Al Italia couldn’t get his pilot’s license. Al Dough looks like Captain Kangaroo.
MolyBendum
August 17th, 2009 at 4:32 am [Reply]

38. Mr. O’Malley. My French is rustier than Wally’s trombone, and the word “sparkplug” rarely comes up in many of my conversations, let alone when I’m trying to speak French. In that instance it’s slang (bourgeois) for….I dunno…high-falutin’s a good word.
MolyBendum
August 17th, 2009 at 4:46 am [Reply]

Frazz: The father of the gay kid who dances in left field has hemorrhoids. That is freakin hilarious. Way to go Frazz.

Red and Rover: I want to be entertained by good, ol’ fashioned, clean humor. Honestly I do. Too bad this strip is just good ol’ fashioned cleaned the fuck out of humor. It’s like he solicits bad puns from 4th graders. Or plagiarized from “101 Jokes: For Kids!”.
For a cartoon dog, though, Rover is cute. I wouldn’t kick him out of bed (fuck, it’s catching).
yellojkt
August 17th, 2009 at 5:49 am [Reply]

According to today’s Rex Morgan: Mr. Howard IS Mark Trail.

“Fishing, hunting, hiking…anything but working!” indeed. Let’s see his right hook and we’ll know for sure.
Mr. O'Malley
August 17th, 2009 at 5:58 am [Reply]

39. MolyBendum. Interesting. Shouldn’t it be “bourgie”? Unless you speak an arhotic dialect like ~~Strine~~ Australian? (Comics note: not seeing much of this in Luann.)

Or does it come from one of those rare American arhotic dialects? I’m thinking not New England, since we’re talking about African-Americans, but maybe Charleston?

I must admit that knowing how to say “sparkplug” in French has never served any practical purpose for me. Learning how to calculate correct tire pressure in kiloPascals would have been a much more practical use of my time.

When you don’t speak a language very well in the first place, knowing how to say some uncommon word rarely results in much communication.

Exception: Of the roughly 5 words I know how to say in Russian, “flajelyetz” (”artificial harmonic”) did come in useful once. Answer: they do it the same way as Chet Atkins, hold the pick with the thumb and 2nd finger and stop the string with the 1st.
John C Fremont
August 17th, 2009 at 6:51 am [Reply]

SF – Being that he’s Ted Forth, I just assumed he was quoting Admiral Ackbar.
lunarhalo
August 17th, 2009 at 7:22 am [Reply]

#9

My thoughts too.

Slap a smirk on Blondie McBlue-eyes and call it Funky
Doug Puthoff
August 17th, 2009 at 7:28 am [Reply]

FC–Another week camping? Talk about S & M! Anyway, Alt. caption: “Bil Keane, you son of a %*%#^! You’re not leaving me alone with these kids!.
Doug Puthoff
August 17th, 2009 at 7:29 am [Reply]

GT–”I thought I was unfortunate for not having shoes until a met a man with no feet.” What a stinking cliche! Rubin has to go.
Doug Puthoff
August 17th, 2009 at 7:34 am [Reply]

8-17 FW: Who the fark cares about the softball team? Wally’s back from the war. Once you’ve given your audience Galactus, it won’t be happy until you’ve given them the Beyonder.
8th Man Fan
August 17th, 2009 at 7:59 am [Reply]

#42 Mr. O’Malley: According to Urban Dictionary, “bougie” is the common spelling. It’s also listed as “boujy,” “boujey,” “bourgie,” and “bourgy.” I believe it’s another case of slang originating from urban black neighborhoods that’s spread to more common usage. I’m from New York City and, around here, I’ve never heard the “r” pronounced strongly in either “bourgeois” or the slang terms.

And I still say all the rain in “Family Circus” is from reading “Funky Winkerbean.” Daddy should have stuck to ghost stories.
Mela
August 17th, 2009 at 8:13 am [Reply]

MT: Every time I see Smokey the Bear, I think of how much trouble Jay Ward got into when he dared to try & parody Smokey as an arsonist trying to play the hero in the only episode of “Dudley Do-Right” never to see the light of day. Because of that, I hate Smokey the Bear, that dirty censor.

FW: Is it too much to hope that some real-world veterans’ or families of POWs’ support group stumbles on this story and drags Batiuk through the media mud over this storyline? I’d love to see him try to plead that he’s a great artiste on one of those screaming-heads “debate” shows that news networks love. Especially after the casual dismissal on Sunday, it’s reaching new lows.
Talking Squirrel
August 17th, 2009 at 8:18 am [Reply]

FW: Poor Wally. Dragged into the strip for cheap bathetic effect, then summarily banished into outer darkness, where there will be wailing and blatting of trombones.

I don’t feel so sorry for Crank being dropped into today’s FW softball game. He’s always looking for new venues where he can vent his spleen. Initially I was speculating that since he brought his wheelchair but forgot his O2 cannula, the predominantly-methane atmosphere of FW would quickly do him in. Alas, now I’m starting to worry that his reptilian metabolism may in fact thrive on methane and Montoni’s.
Steve L
August 17th, 2009 at 8:31 am [Reply]

It appears that the BTK killer has decided that he needed to enter the world of Rex Morgan, MD to find his next victim.
dreadedcandiru2
August 17th, 2009 at 8:36 am [Reply]

Tuesday ReFoob Warning: Tomorrow’s strip should be avoided by those who have weak constitutions. The reason: it depicts the Pattersons engaging in their smacky, messy, nasty, gobbly eating habits.
Saluki
August 17th, 2009 at 8:44 am [Reply]

Marty has that look on his face because he was told “most of these kids have never had $60,000″ and that implies that at least one of them did/does. Marty is trying to figure out which kid he’s going to be a personal coach for.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
August 17th, 2009 at 8:57 am [Reply]

A3G: Ruby is just so happy to have back someone who will never reject her peach cobbler.

Archie: They’re watching “Leprechaun II.”

Curtis: Damn, those are some big dogs.

(WT)DT: “How so”? Um, I dunno, maybe the fact that the note arrived maybe ten minutes after the death and Tracy’s arrival? That’s barely enough time to grab enough magazines to cut letters out of.

Drabble: Dennis the Menace called. He wants his schtick back.

GA: The only thing in this strip that resembles what it’s supposed to be less than “Conan” is the TV cameras.

HotC: Great E.T. impression, Heart.

H&J: It’s fitting that this strip’s favorite source of quotes, even moreso than Langston Hughes, is “Anonymous.”

The Hateeachothers: Don’t mess with that stew, Leroy. That teardrop tattoo means she’s killed before.

Luann: I see a NSFW mashup coming.

MT: “Now go away, silly LoFo person, or I shall miss you on purpose a second time!”

MW: The Many Faces of Lawrence Jonis: Panel 1: Dr. Jeff Corey’s head Photoshopped onto a 10-year-old boy’s neck. Panel 2: Jay Leno after the mentoplasty.

Mutts: Kitty, that lisp is your shtick.

MC: Joke aside, don’t miss what really happened today: Norm just called Ashley beautiful to her face. Subtle, Ed.

PmP: Shouldn’t fingers be completely outside the area of specialty of an opthalmologist?

Ghost-Who-Appreciates-The-Stooges: Spread out, knuckleheads!

PC: Ha, ha! It’s funny ’cause… ’cause… uh… what the hell?

RMMD: Between Wilderness Trails, Woods & Wildlife, and Nation’s Geography, comics writers must think there’s a huge market out there for nature magazines.

SFx: The combination is written on the wall right over the safe. It’s 8-17.
McManx
August 17th, 2009 at 8:58 am [Reply]

#32 — If all the beer belly talk is accurate, that is Smokey in the last panel; drunk, naked and crawling into the woods to take a shit.
Artist formerly known as Ben
August 17th, 2009 at 9:02 am [Reply]

8/17

RMMD: Tim’s a nature writer. Tim has a mustache. Tim tries very hard to make sure he’s not at the magazine’s office at the same time as Mark Trail.

WofI: Is this supposed to be funny, or is it evidence from the king’s upcoming trial in the Hague?

Luann: If you feel a sharp pain behind your eyes, that’s just a double entendre piercing your frontal lobe.

Baldo: Having spent the afternoon watching The Untouchables on DVD, Baldo has geared himself up to speechify on “individual achievement” and “teamwork” before beating Papi to death with a baseball bat. The die is cast. No use losing your nerve now.

A3G: Lu Ann will be disappointed when she finds out that Ruby’s peach cobbler doesn’t talk.

Marvin: Strangely enough, there was no Marvin published today. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Archie: What’s really funny is the way Archie fondles that pillow while betty is sitting inches away. Time for a trip to the optometrist, my man.
Saluki
August 17th, 2009 at 9:04 am [Reply]

Tim has facial hair and yet he tells Becka that he is a outdoorsy sportsman writer. My brain is gonna ’splode.
Edgy DC
August 17th, 2009 at 9:21 am [Reply]

I don’t get it. If all we had was this charming chat between Nurse Kim Wilde and Lonely Banker Dude, you couldn’t help but root for the tragic LBD.

But we have that opening panel, which looks like it was guest drawn by the Funky Winkerbean team, where all women are bony skinnynecks and all men are lumpy sacks of impotency, and I’m already rooting against them before panel two. It’s two late for the coloring inconsistencies to in Kim’s hair to dazzle me like superstar highlights. It’s too late!
Talking Squirrel
August 17th, 2009 at 9:27 am [Reply]

55 McManx says: “If all the beer belly talk is accurate, that is Smokey in the last panel; drunk, naked and crawling into the woods to take a shit.”

And then after all the hassle of lugging the shovel along on the trip, he forgets to take it with him!

Actually, he brought the shovel along to kill deer ticks. He should have been reading Crank. Hoe-choppin’s the only thing that’ll kill them varmints.
viscosity
August 17th, 2009 at 9:42 am [Reply]

MT : look I may be a little stupid – but hunter orange lovin shooter guy DROVE HIS CAR into LoFo. Hence there must be a road of some kind for him to drive his nondescript town car on – how difficult is it to follow a road?
Then again, this bein Mark Trail – nothing has happened since Joey got shot like months ago. Time marches to a different drum in Lost Forest …
mvg
August 17th, 2009 at 9:49 am [Reply]

Dr Pill (34): “Sure, just pile on the pathos, Batiuk.”

It ain’t pathos, it’s bathos. In fact, I propose Batiuk’s name be officially changed to Tom Bathos.

Talking Squirrel (50):
That’s not Crankshat in today’s FW. Presumably Cshat either didn’t survive the 10-year jump or became the wheelchair-bound corpse shown for a weeklong sequence in “Cshat” a month or so back. This is presumably his designated replacement, the next guy in line at the Westview Office for Vicious World-Hating Old Coots.

MW: Has anyone noticed the bizarre shape of the bed Lawrence & Del are sitting on ni panel one? Each of them appears to be sitting w/their legs over the edge of the bed, but the surface of the bed continues on out of the lower frame. So, unless the bed is in some sort of fat L-shape, w/a cutout in the corner where they’re sitting, Lawrence’s legs at least have gone straight through the mattress, boxspring & frame. And what the hell is Del pointing at in panel two? She doesn’t even appear to be conversing w/Larry anymore.

(I’m SO disappointed she hustled him thru the door at breakneck speed so they could … talk. And there’s been no explanation for Larry’s wide-eyed looks of terror & bolded hints that he wasn’t so happy Del had turned up. It does make one wonder if the “artist” is even remotely aware of the fact that humans’ facial expressions generally have a connection to their emotional states.)
Hogenmogen
August 17th, 2009 at 9:50 am [Reply]

Slylock: Sorry, pal. Unless the crook has been apprehended within 3 minutes of the crime with a ridiculous alibi that I will shoot holes in, I can’t help you. Oh, but you keep your written combination under your plant. Oh, you already knew that? I’ll just get going now.

FC and reFoob taste God’s wrath when they go camping. Ha ha!

A3G: Saturday: Margo thinks that nothing will ever be the same.
Monday:
Ruby: Want some peach cobbler?
Margo: Hell yeah.
Ruby: Oh, and sorry about Eric.
Margo: Who??
Talking Squirrel
August 17th, 2009 at 9:59 am [Reply]

RMMRSA: This is really all about Mr. Howard’s angst. His mother sometimes recognizes him from the past, but “can’t remember his name”. Then a few panels later, he notes — with bitterest irony –that “it’s amazing how they remember the things that were important in their lives.”

Oh, how sharper than a serpent’s tooth.

And then there’s this. “How long has your mom been attached to Mr. Morse?” “About a year now.” I guess Mr. Morse, bless his heart, also forgot the instructions that said to visit the emergency room if it lasted more than four hours.
Hogenmogen
August 17th, 2009 at 10:08 am [Reply]

I love the Narration Box in RMMD. Today it breathlessly announces “Becka and Tim strike up a conversation!” I want to believe the Narration Box is female. And hot. And that I do all kinds of sexxy things to her so she can breathlessly announce them to unsuspecting comics readers next Monday morning. I mean, if she gets worked up about this plot, I imagine my boring life would exxcite her in all kinds of ways.
TheDiva
August 17th, 2009 at 10:09 am [Reply]

Cathy: Is neurotic self-absorption contagious?

C’shaft: Why is everyone staring at Cranky like this is all his fault? Other than the fact that he just inspires contempt and hatred by his very presence, I mean.

DT: The note also indicates the murderer is a teenager who habitually uses textspeak even when writing.

FW: When has ANY of it been fun? Christ, Charlie Brown couldn’t win a game if God Almighty himself were playing right field, and he had more fun than you guys do.

Ah well, at least it’s not Wally limping into the sunset with his trombone again.

MW: “It’s not for me to say what you should do…after all, it’s not like I have any stake in this sort of thing being your wife and all. Besides, as a mere woman it’s not my place to offer my opinion, only to abide by whatever decisions your superior male mind makes.”

Pluggers: You’re a Plugger if your lunch box is worth more than you make in a week, yet you refuse to sell it to a collector and replace it with a newer model.
Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
August 17th, 2009 at 10:12 am [Reply]

FW: After Batbleak’s latest orgy of heart stabbing despair, it occurs to me that a film festival of Ingmar Bergman movies would be a complete yuk-fest by comparison. Virgin Spring, anyone?
Hogenmogen
August 17th, 2009 at 10:14 am [Reply]

Pluggers are adults who use TV themed lunch boxes.
buckyswife
August 17th, 2009 at 10:16 am [Reply]

JP: This week, the strip takes on the roller-coaster ups and downs of adolescence; one day, you’re the most popular new cheerleader in school, and the next, you’re reviled for causing the death of a beloved celebrity.

FC: “….or the revolver I keep in the glove compartment…”

SM: Ah, the Spiderman Heroic-Action Resistance Mechanism is becoming self-aware; note that it’s using the more appropriate verb “attempts” in the narration box.

And yeah, as someone else has noted, why is Spidey surprised? Did he forget that Doc Ock has multiple tentacles?

MW: Wow, Delilah’s had her boobs groped more times than I can count. I’m starting to think, though, that she doesn’t react because she’s fucking insane.

MT: Mark will continue his hypnotic, smooth-talk patter, until he’s within punching range. The Man Who Shot Joey Williams will be paralyzed, a deer in the headlights of the force of Mark’s personality, gun hanging limply by his side, helpless in the face of the fate that awaits him.
Naked Bunny with a Whip
August 17th, 2009 at 10:24 am [Reply]

Clothes are complicated! Be free, Smokey!

…But stay away from guys wandering the forest with rifles.
Shlomo
August 17th, 2009 at 10:24 am [Reply]

I love the look on the faces of the deer and 2 squirrels in Mark Trail. It looks like they are saying “whose bright idea was it to light candles to set the mood for our threesome”?
Lawyerbob
August 17th, 2009 at 10:26 am [Reply]

12. Red Greenback: Mark found the tent at an old crime scene: an abandoned campsite with the bodies of four round children in shallow graves, watched over by some ratty dog with the name “Barfy” on its tags.
teddytoad
August 17th, 2009 at 10:27 am [Reply]

My goodness, that’s Smokey? I’m quite sure I saw him and a baker’s dozen of other such Bears on Fire Island this weekend.
Jumper
August 17th, 2009 at 10:28 am [Reply]

Fans of Smokey know he was fired because he tended to cause naive children to underestimate the ferocity of his fellow bears. I was such a child. I remember running off to romp with the bears when my family took a Smoky Mountain vacation. Baby bear was ready to play with me, but Mama bear began to amble over to oversee. My brother quickly sprinted down the hill, snatched me up like a picnic basket, and ran us to safety.

Later my family regretted this.
Hogenmogen
August 17th, 2009 at 10:33 am [Reply]

Sunday Mutts: Hey, Crabby, why the glum look?
Crabby: I just f*&ed a prostitute.
Mutts: What’s so bad about that?
Crabby: She gave me f^%cking CRABS!

Other goings on:
Someone other than the titular characters in Lockhorns gets a speaking role.
Dilbert doesn’t make a lot of sense, but is still vaguely funny – I think.
They killed Brewster Rockit in my local rag (it’s ok, but Sunday’s was hilarious) and replaced it with the strip that dare not speak its name on this blog. No vote or anything. Yet for some reason we still have every legacy strip known to man.
NoahSnark
August 17th, 2009 at 10:33 am [Reply]

I appreciate the deep sense of irony Mark Trail displays by presenting a strip on the dangers of forest fires in the middle of a story arc where one of the antagonists torched his car.
Girawolf
August 17th, 2009 at 10:34 am [Reply]

Smokey was way cool. He always wore Levis jeans. The old kind with the brass rivet in the crotch to stop them from splitting the seam.

Until one day, fighting a fire, the rivet got quite hot and Smokey, standing up straight, got the surprise of his life.

That is the last anyone saw of Smokey the Bear.
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 10:34 am [Reply]

Old Smokey the Bear joke:

Why didn’t Smokey the Bear ever have kids?
Because every time his wife got hot he’d beat her off with a shovel.

I’m sorry. Don’t mind me. I’m a dork. I reverted to High School.
Doug Puthoff
August 17th, 2009 at 10:35 am [Reply]

Back to yesterday for a second.

MT–I think Smokey was designed to appeal to women who like men with hairy chests.
Niall
August 17th, 2009 at 10:35 am [Reply]

…still not doing well in escaping the net, but wanted to throw this idea out.

Monday Curtis: Ready all Marmaduke/Eloise Ellerby slash fic… now!

*invests in brain bleach industries and cleans up*

Monday My Cage: Norm just told Ashley she’s beautiful. Kiss countdown still on cue for Aug 22.

*relurks*
queek
August 17th, 2009 at 10:42 am [Reply]

folks, writer-guy in Rex Morgan looks suspiciously familiar:

http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/rmorgan/bioMaina.htm

that’s meta beyond plaid! (or Pastis)
Talking Squirrel
August 17th, 2009 at 11:00 am [Reply]

65 TheDiva says:
“C’shaft: Why is everyone staring at Cranky like this is all his fault? Other than the fact that he just inspires contempt and hatred by his very presence, I mean.”

Well, since this is the garden club, it seems he’s simply illustrating the fact that you reap what you sow.
queek
August 17th, 2009 at 11:02 am [Reply]

now, after actually having read the comments:

11: all of the cool anthropomorphics just use the middle initial these days.

54 re HotC: ET? I was going to say “Who” as in Who-ville.

9CL: *snerk*

Luanne *snerk* ^2

MC: o goddess, Ron’s wearing a Gryffindor scarf. *gag* Other than that, Norm haz a smoove.

RwO: the puns, they burn!

Tank: o great, more Lions jokes. *cries*
Jackuul
August 17th, 2009 at 11:16 am [Reply]

Does anyone here honestly think that wildfires/forest-fires honestly ALL start because of humans? Look at the damn bear! He probably has frat parties in the woods on a daily if not hourly basis, ends up drunk like every day screaming a and hooting… eventually getting so drunk that in his excess he drops the bong and fwoosh goes the forest?

Look at those pictures! They are pictures of parties gone wrong and an obese famous bear on the path to death, and it saddens me because it reminds me of Chris Farley or John Belushi. He needs help.
Bitter Scribe
August 17th, 2009 at 11:17 am [Reply]

The old National Lampoon once ran an “interview” with Smokey in which he was asked about the pants. His reply: “Well, a bear on all fours is a cuddly, roly-poly dream. Your problems start when he stands up in front of an audience of Girl Scouts.”
anty a
August 17th, 2009 at 11:17 am [Reply]

FW: Well, I guess that’s it, the Wally Returns story is all wrapped up for now, and now it’s time for more Old Fart Hilarity. I can resume avoiding FW…somebody let me know when Batiuk cues back to Wally and we see him, sad, thin, hollow-eyed, broken, and wearing a Montoni’s apron.
Jackuul
August 17th, 2009 at 11:20 am [Reply]

Oh, and my tl;dr version:
Bear gets drunk. Bear drops bong/stogie. Bear burns down the forest. Bear ruins your shit. Bear is obese and sad inside. Bear is dulling the pain. Bear needs an intervention. Bear will not have one… because it’s a goddamn bear that could rip your arms off when angry.

Deep down Bear is lonely inside, obese and unable to have meaningful relationships with other bears.

Bear is sad.
Poteet
August 17th, 2009 at 11:21 am [Reply]

# 76 Girawolf — HAR! I have a pair of jeans with two holes burned in one lower leg from when I got a little distracted during a prescribed burn. That’s why so many of the pros now wear Nomex.
Rob
August 17th, 2009 at 11:27 am [Reply]

CALL TO ACTION CURMUDGEONS!!

The Detroit Free Press is looking to cut up to six comics from their Sunday comics section.

Voting is being done via email or snail mail (ugh!).

They want readers to vote for their top 5 comics. I know, not real scientfic.

Personally I hope they keep Judge Parker, Crankshaft, Zits, Argyle Sweater and Baby Blues. Especially Judge Parker.

Here is the list of what is in the Sunday Detroit Free Press (the Freep as we Michiganders call it) comics:

Help the Free Press decide which Sunday comics to keep.

Unfortunately, in these tight times, we must reduce our Sunday comics package by about six strips in September. Before we do that, we’d like your input to help us decide what to keep. (Our daily lineup is not changing.)

We can’t promise we will keep every strip you vote for, but we’ll do our best to keep the top vote-getters. Laying out comics is a tricky business — they come in a variety of sizes — and we won’t know exactly which ones we can keep till we actually try to fit them onto the pages.

So, pick your top five by Thursday, then either e-mail them to comics@freepress.com, or mail your ballot to COMICS, Features Department, Detroit Free Press, 615 W. Lafayette, Detroit 48226.

Vote your 5 favorite Sunday comics

“The Amazing Spiderman”

“Argyle Sweater”

“Arlo and Janis”

“Baby Blues”

“Beetle Bailey”

“Blondie”

“Candorville”

“Crankshaft”

“Cul de Sac”

“Dilbert”

“The Dinette Set”

“Doonesbury”

“F Minus”

“Family Tree”

“For Better or for Worse”

“Frazz”

“Garfield”

“Get Fuzzy”

“Grand Avenue”

“Heart of the City”

“Judge Parker”

“Jump Start”

“Lio”

“Lockhorns”

“Luann”

“Mutts”

“Non Sequitur”

“Overboard”

“Pearls Before Swine”

“Pickles”

“Prince Valiant”

“Rhymes with Orange”

“Rose Is Rose”

“Sally Forth”

“Zits”
Poteet
August 17th, 2009 at 11:35 am [Reply]

# 88 Rob — Poor Freep. I visited my parents recently and they talked several times about how much they miss being able to get the Freep every day. The current iffy state of newspapers is especially hard on the elderly. My parents won’t like this comic reduction either.
commodorejohn
August 17th, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

A3G – Eeyargh, what is that in the final panel? I think the stitches holding Ruby’s various bits together have dissolved, and she’s starting to slide apart.

Curtis – …so this is what Billingsley thinks the upper classes are like. When was he born again? 1883?

FW – Meanwhile, in a completely different kind of misery…

GT – Uh, yeah, but they don’t need, y’know, jobs.

MT – …but how could it be a mistake if he did it on purpose!?

MW – ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH

MC – My Cage makes the Oedipus jokes, but unlike Momma it’s actually funny.

NAOQV – NFL employs felons, film at 11.

Phantom – Okay, what the hell is with all the gradient-ed word balloons in The Phantom lately? It’s harder to read and it doesn’t convey any meaningful information. Stop it.

RMMD – Dammit, I read the “wilderness magazine” bit first, and I was so hoping it would be Woods & Wildlife…

Edison Lee – is trying to horn in on Spider-Man’s territory. Watch out, Edison, Spider-Man is the king of pointless, uninteresting TV watching, and there ain’t nothing gonna change that.
Joe Blevins
August 17th, 2009 at 11:39 am [Reply]

MT: This is essentially Jack Elrod’s Guernica. I am in awe of it.
UncleJeff
August 17th, 2009 at 11:48 am [Reply]

MT: Hey lost sniper guy who can’t find his way out of an area filled with tire tracks from the trucks used to dump the hazardous waste! I’m gonna piss you off until you shoot at me again!
FW: Once again — all youth sports fans and coaches are irascible jerks. Of course, the end of this little story line will have one of the players whacking a line drive that hits the cranium of this homeless GI guy with a trombone…killing him instantly while wild dingos steal his clothing and his identification so nobody knows who he is.
PBS: When’s Rat doing a signing at my local mall?
JH Pants
August 17th, 2009 at 11:50 am [Reply]

Mary Worth, where, if you’re female, love means never having an opinion of your own. Seriously, today’s strip annoys me so much I want to set Delilah’s hair on fire.
Perky Bird
August 17th, 2009 at 11:54 am [Reply]

# 93 JH Pants:
As long as Delilah doesn’t then go running through a forest, burning all the trees down, Smokey the Bear says go for it!
Jackuul
August 17th, 2009 at 11:55 am [Reply]

@92 FW:

You know that Bat**** isn’t that kind. It won’t kill him, it will maim him, then come the dingos, and at the hospital he will find out he has four different kinds of cancer from X-rays. Finally, his former wife will drop by to say sorry she can’t love him anymore, and sorry she can’t give a damn about the cancer, and will he please stop calling her.

As he slips into the void, the pain medications will be switched with stimulants, making his last hours filled with pain wracking his whole body as their desperate attempts at chemotherapy go to waste, because instead of chemicals to fight cancer it is switched with warfarin.

As he bleeds to death from every orifice he sees a white light, only to notice that it is the doctor shining a pen-light in his eyes as he goes blind, only to slip into darkness and nothingness. Then becomes a ghost, and is rejected by Lisa for a ghost marriage.

For all eternity he must relive his capture, and eventual death to four cancers, warfarin induced hemorrhaging, and slow painful death all while unloved.

Because, Bat*** loves veterans.
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
August 17th, 2009 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

Zenvelo, Asturion:
The scam works like this: go into a big box store and buy something expensive. Walk back in with the receipt later that day, take same expensive thing, leave, showing the receipt at the door. Return expensive thing to big box store. Result: expensive thing for free, by means of theft.

(I had this explained to me once.)

I can’t seem to find the relevant Slylock Fox, so I don’t actually know what the deal was there.
Some Guy
August 17th, 2009 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

We all know what “golf” means in RMMD. Exactly the same as everything else means in RMMD.
Islamorada Girl
August 17th, 2009 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

Since Fashion Police isn’t here to say it, I will. What Smokey really needs to complete his woodland ensemble is a wife beater t-shirt. Perfect!
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

Ad at the top left of this blog.

Smokey Bear
Looking for Smokey Bear? Find exactly what you want today.

I sure hope this isn’t a dating service.
Interesting. An ad for Yahoo in a Google ad.
buckyswife
August 17th, 2009 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

So Moy & Giella really are going to subject us to another week of hot Del-on-Lar relationship talk action, huh? Have they not thought of a new storyline yet, and they’re stalling? They might have writer’s block, but I’m not going too deeply into that because I suspect they, you know, pull the stories out of their ass.

But just in case they’ve run out of ideas, let me offer some things I’d rather see than more of this conversation:
–A Charterstone pool party with Rodgers and Hammerstein karaoke (c’mon—let’s see Chinbeard singing “I’m Just a Girl Who Can’t Say No”!).
–Toby learning of Del & Larry’s family plans and deciding she wants a baby of her own—and her subsequent clumsy attempts to extract one from Ian. (And later, frustrated, she runs into—who else?—Charley, who initiates her into the wonders of porn that you can order from enormousdongshop.com.)
–Mary deciding that she would like a (grand)child of her own now, too, and her determined attempts to extract one from Drew (”send me a goddam Vietnamese orphan NOW”) or Adrian (”you’re not getting any younger, dear”)—and finally, Dr. Jeff (”this little blue pill will soothe your headache, sweetheart”).
–Mary showing up at the Keane Kamping Kompound with a tray of damp salmon squares, ready to remind the near-homicidal Bil and Thel of the joys of family life; later, the giant crows will fly over from LoFo to pick at her scattered, bloody remains, and Mark will wander by to counsel us not to leave a mess behind when we leave our campsites.
odinthor
August 17th, 2009 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

Lockhorns. — Win.

Baldo. — Oh, teh funny! Baldo just beat the neighbor family to death!

GT. — “Hm,” thought Marty, his mind racing with possibilities. “I wonder what these poor kids would do for me for ten bucks…?” And he smiled. “C’mere, kid,” he said.
Jym
August 17th, 2009 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

=v= MT: The official USFS version of Smokey the Bear is considerably buffer than Elrod’s, with six-pack abs and pectoral implants. I would guess that Elrod was trying to draw a more accurate bear, since renderings of animals are clearly top priority in this strip, far higher than such matters as word balloon placement and coming up with new storylines.
gnome de blog
August 17th, 2009 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

88 Rob – I voted. I would also like to take this opportunity to hump for my favorite comic, Cul de Sac. It doesn’t get much snark around here because a) it’s too good, and b) Josh doesn’t read it.

But as a relatively new strip it needs a little love and old-fashioned ballot-box corruption.
Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
August 17th, 2009 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

Fuck these idiotic newspapers. Just fuck them. We need a big tabloid sized national colored comics daily gazette with the funnies big sponsored by advertising.
Poteet
August 17th, 2009 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

The Forest Service says it’s definitely “Smokey Bear,” not “Smokey the Bear,” which is news to me. And his 65th birthday was August 9, 2009. Happy birthday, Smokey. Drop that shovel and grab this Pulaski.
Talking Squirrel
August 17th, 2009 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

83 Jackuul: “eventually getting so drunk that in his excess he drops the bong and fwoosh goes the forest?”

Ah, so that’s whose bong that was. I thought the muskiness was from skunk, but I guess it was bear instead.
Fashion Police
August 17th, 2009 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

Miss Ruby appears to be parading around in her frilly pajamas, which is, if not appalling at least déclassé even by Apartment 3-G standards. Which leads us to wonder if she sleeps in her equally appalling hair ribbons.
gnome de blog
August 17th, 2009 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

105 Poteet: But it was “Smokey the Bear” in the song.
buckyswife
August 17th, 2009 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

103 gnome de blog: I’m a Cul de Sac fan, too—and from all I’ve read, Richard Thompson is a great guy who, unfortunately, was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s. In the WashPost we get another strip from him (albeit irregularly) called Richard’s Poor Almanac; it predates CdS.
Hogenmogen
August 17th, 2009 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

I’d like to see this week lead in to the next Mary Worth story line: Charlie finds true love.

Charlie: Mrs. Worth…
Mary: Call me Mary, please.
Charlie: I thought I found true love again, but now she’s gone…
Mary: But you can find what you’re looking for right in front of you.
Charlie: You mean… you? Uh… Mrs.. uh Mary…
Mary: Once you go “grey” you never stray!
Charlie: Actually the expression is “once you go black, you nev – ” never mind. You’re three times my age!
Mary: “She’s once… Twice… Three times a lady… ”
Charlie: I wasn’t even born when that song was popular. I’m so outta here. I’m going to get my very own meth lab.
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

I think Pastis may have been trying to help Cul de Sac out by mentioning it in one of his strips.
commodorejohn
August 17th, 2009 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

#107 Fashion Police – I don’t think those are ribbons. I think they’re actually part of her head.
buckyswife
August 17th, 2009 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

111 Sequitur: I think I learned about Thompson’s illness from Pastis’s blog; it was a pretty moving little piece, actually.
Joe Blevins
August 17th, 2009 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

MT: I think it’s a mistake to lump the “arson” fires and the “carelessness” fires into one big category and blame them both on our failure to obey Smokey. The careless — but essentially decent — people of the world, yeah, they might very well listen to an anthropomorphic, half-dressed talking spokesbear. But arsonists? Once you’ve decided to intentionally set the forest ablaze, it’s doubtful that a PSA is going to have much effect on you. You’re beyond the reach of the Ad Council at that point.
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

113. buckyswife
Good for Pastis. I read his blog occasionally and must have missed that one. It’s nice that all cartoonists aren’t Batiuk-like. Or am I being unfair to Batiuk?
Poteet
August 17th, 2009 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

# 108 gnome — Very true. That song is deeply embedded in my brain. From Wiki —

“Smokey’s correct full name is Smokey Bear. In 1952, the songwriters Steve Nelson and Jack Rollins had a hit with “Smokey the Bear”. The pair said that “the” was added to Smokey’s name to keep the song’s rhythm. This small change has caused confusion among Smokey fans ever since. Note that, from the beginning, Smokey’s name was intentionally spelled differently from the adjective smoky. The Forest Service emphatically denies that the name was ever “Smokey the Bear”; however, in the 1950s, that variant of the name became very widespread both in the popular imagination and in print, including at least one standard encyclopedia. The campaign to remind the public of the correct version of the name is almost as old as the Smokey Bear campaign itself.”
commodorejohn
August 17th, 2009 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

#116 Poteet – Wikipedia in a nutshell.
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

I thought most forest fires were caused by lightning and were nature’s way of repleshing the soil with ash?

116. Poteet
That still doesn’t mean Smoky Bear’s middle name isn’t “The.” The song writers saw the birth certificate and knew the whole name.
Hogenmogen
August 17th, 2009 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

116: Poteet: So campaign dollars that could go to preventing forest fires are actually being spent on reminding people of Smokey Bear’s true moniker? The insignificantly different Smokey the Bear has chagrinned him to the point where maybe taking out a full page ad in the NY Times is not out of the question? Maybe he needs to appear in a town-hall format meeting and argue his case.
Girawolf aka Jumper
August 17th, 2009 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

Poteet, the hot rivet incident happened to me, and lots of campfire aficionados when Levis had that crotch-rivet. Since then, I split only one pair where the rivet would have stopped it. Balanced out, I probably would have gotten the hot rivet at least once more if Levi-Strauss hadn’t removed it.
Jumper
August 17th, 2009 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

Hogenmogen, the appropriate venue for that meeting would be The Hague. Or Ukraine, maybe.
Hogenmogen
August 17th, 2009 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

I once got into a fistfight with someone who called Molly Bear “Molly THE Bear”. Molly herself didn’t understand the hostility.
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

121. Jumper
Or Mark Trail’s basement.
Poteet
August 17th, 2009 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

# 118 Sequitur — Yep, lightning definitely causes fires, and all of North America used to burn at varying intervals. I can’t speak for what caused the fires in the West. But many fires in the upper Midwest (possibly most of the fires east of the Mississipi River, fire historians now say) were set by Native Americans. Those fires served many purposes, but they definitely shaped Midwestern ecosystems, which are now fire-dependent. No fire, the ecosystems disintegrate.

Maybe as a mod, hep, with-it update, the ursine dude could become Smokey Teh Bear.
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

124. Poteet
Yo.
Poteet
August 17th, 2009 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

# 119 Hogenmogen — I deeply hope that campaign is now a strictly-volunteer effort carried on by fanatics.

# 120 Girawolf, I feel your pain.
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

I grew up in Florida and I remember that after the sugarcane harvest they would burn down the sugarcane fields. We lived on the east coast and the westerly winds would blow the smoke over our region. People would say, “they’re burning the &%#©?™ sugar fields again.”
Poteet
August 17th, 2009 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

# 109 buckyswife — Oh no. I really like CUL DE SAC. Thanks for the news.
Niall
August 17th, 2009 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

122. hogenmogen: is that like arguing with someone about Mollificent and Molli THE Ficent?

*no, really, I’ll go away, augh, need to work*
kkarenb
August 17th, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

I saw Smokey at the National Zoo in 1973 – by that time he was looking pretty old. Here’s another Smokey joke:

Q: What do Smokey The Bear and John The Baptist have in common?

A: They have the same middle name.
Hogenmogen
August 17th, 2009 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

Assoline Galley: Sob. No more Ms. Boobies. Now we get Conan O’Barbarian. Groan.
Hogenmogen
August 17th, 2009 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

#130 – and what is Jesus’s middle name? I’ll give you a hint. It starts with the letter H.
HR Paperstacks
August 17th, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

“It’s amazing how they remember the things that were important in their lives”- What are they, ghosts?
gnome de blog
August 17th, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

124 Poteet – I don’t have the statistics to hand, but I think it’s safe to say that a majority of the wildfires out here (I live in Oregon) are lightning-caused – particularly with the decline of the timber industry. That is not to say that Smokey the Bear preaching fire safety isn’t a good idea. Human carelessness still causes more fires than it should.

Since the astonishing recovery after the big Yellowstone fire in the 1980s the Forest Service has been more inclined to let the more remote fires burn. However, as yuppies and others increasingly opt for a more bucolic lifestyle, there is pressure to protect their homes and weekend cabins, even to the detriment of good forest management. People seem unwilling to accept that if you’re going to live in the woods you have to run the risk of fire. Consequently, when fires do happen they’re more devastating. Areas that burn regularly have less undergrowth, fires are smaller and often don’t destroy wide swaths of trees. We also see an exponentially higher incidence of diseased trees in areas managed to prevent fires.
Some Guy Here
August 17th, 2009 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

I like how the paragraph talking about how having a pair of eyes up in the air is juxtaposed above the typical “only you can prevent forest fires!” spiel. I guess we’re all supposed to get in our planes and hover above our local national forest 24/7, because only you can prevent forest fires!
Cranky
August 17th, 2009 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

I swear to god, at first I thought today’s Ziggy said “waist down.”

Which would explain the pantslessness.
bats :[
August 17th, 2009 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

103. gnome de blog: another vote for Cul de Sac. It’s made a couple of guest appearances in the AZ Daily Star and is immediately met with “I don’t get it” and “that’s not funny”. I don’t have kids, but I know this is how kids think (hell, maybe I’m remembering my childhood).
And I’m looking for a pair of flip-flips with plastic fruit on them so I can be carried off by fruit bats.

9CL: I’ve been loving this. Seth improves just about anything, and Mark is the cherry on top. Or whatever.
Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
August 17th, 2009 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

MT: Before I suggest what I have to suggest –no, I have not been drinking or smoking anything.

It seems to me that Mr. Elrod has John Severin working for him as the back-up artist on the Sunday strips. That drawing of Smokey with the pants is what convinced me. According to Wikipedia, Mr. Severin is still alive (although well into his 80’s) and may still be working — why not? He doesn’t do dopey Mark and Curly or Chunky or whatever that idiot little kid is called, but I am pretty sure he does the animals. And the backgrounds.

Information on John Severin may be found on the internet. A great comic artist.

Does anybody agree with me? Or am I being ridiculous, not for a change?
Perky Bird
August 17th, 2009 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

That forest patrol plane seems to be flying mighty low. I think it’s about to either A) crash and burn, thus starting a new forest fire, or B) swoop down and carry off the coffee and sausages cooking on Mark’s campfire.
bats :[
August 17th, 2009 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

I would’ve sworn by the title of this thread, Josh would’ve mentioned the Sunday “Pickles,” too, with the old guy and his pink vs. salmon-colored polo shirt.

I’m avoiding saying much about the current RMMD storyline for the same reason Josh cites. Then again, did we ever come to an end for the last storyline?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3831263036/sizes/o/
Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
August 17th, 2009 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

MT: I remember a song from my youth (quite a while ago), which may still be sung, in remote areas of the country, for all I know:

On top of old Smokey
All covered with snows
I saw Betty Grabel
Without any clothes.

I know there are more lines to this, but I can’t reall them. I could make up some, but there are women and children reading this site regularly.

It’s amazing how this blog can stimulate our minds and cultural heritage.
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball @138 brought up a name I had forgotten about. Do they still make that chocolate/raisen/nut square candy called “Chunky?” I haven’t seen it in years but I sure used to like it.
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

Please don’t start up with “On Top of Spaghetti”. Please?!
Hank
August 17th, 2009 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

RE: Slylock Fox. Why does Slylock need to “deduce” where Sir Hound kept the combination when all he has to do is ask him?
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

One thing about Slylock Fox. They sure have unusual trees with one giant leaf.
B. Racoon
August 17th, 2009 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

Yes.
mvg
August 17th, 2009 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

Sequitur (115): “Or am I being unfair to Batiuk?”

Not possible.
Rachel
August 17th, 2009 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

As a real life medical librarian, I am laughing at this Luann comic. I always hold out hope that Brad will finally have a sex life but chances are Luann may beat him to it since there is no justice in the comics.

OT: why is the librarian fantasy such a turn on for some men?

FW: Becky is going back to her life of boredom and just gave up the man she probably had the best sex of her life with.

The theme of settling and resigning oneself to what is “right” also puts me in mind of FOOB when Elizabeth chose Blandthony over the pilot Warren.

Warren was written to look like a big jerk so the cult like readers of FOOB would really embrace Blandthony. And now poor Wally is being viewed as someone who had a lot of nerve coming back to Becky since she’s “moved on.”
Subway Duck
August 17th, 2009 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

110, Hogenmogen:

Mrs. Worth, are you seducing me?
buckyswife
August 17th, 2009 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

149 Subway Duck: Gah—now I have a mental picture of Mary, support-hosed leg raised seductively, in her white Maidenform and granny panties.
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

149 & 150
{heave}
Professor Fate
August 17th, 2009 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

FW: Okay we’ll start the game once the guy with the trombone gets off the field.
Jackuul
August 17th, 2009 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

I’m now thinking of making that Mark Trail bit with Smokey into an internet dating ad parody.

Hmmm…
Jamus The Bartender
August 17th, 2009 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Well….it’s clear to me that the Pattersons clearly do NOT have the camping chops that the Keanes do. It’s been raining two days in FC but are Bill and Thel, et al scrambling to get out of Dodge? I think not. Though it pains me to defend Prince Michael AND the Keanes, I gotta say it….FOOB, you are NO Family Circus.
Luann: She’s gonna get fired for making with PDAs in the kiddie section, isn’t she? And after wearing trashy outfits reading to kids for the better part of a year. Life lesson within two to three days, folks….
Mary Worth: Wow. Delilah REALLY didn’t like Charley’s porn and Rogers and Hammerstein collection, didn’t she?
Family Circus: …and we’re on day 3 of “Keanes In The Wild”. Notice how the female of the species shows her superiority over the male by growling and shouting, ” Coloring books” and ” puzzles” as he runs off to find sustenance for his family. Take THAT Pattersons.
Radolf
August 17th, 2009 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

I think that Mark Trail’s “fun-ducational” strips are simply fillers… who wants to learn about forest fires when they are reading the funnies anyways?

Also, I was mildly creeped out by the “He wants to give everyone golf lessons”. I don’t know why, but he reminded me a little too much of a pedophile/sexual deviant.
Charterstoned
August 17th, 2009 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

MT – In the weekday strip, Smokey’s hair would entitle him to an immediate RFOJ, no questions asked. Given that he is the good guy in Sunday’s strip, I’m thinking the Sabbath version of Mark Trail must be the LoFo Bizarro World, where everything is opposite. Rusty actually goes to school, Doc Davis skins animals for the money, Mark is giving it to Cherry every night at least twice, and the breakfast food doesn’t look like slabs of flesh.

MW – Haven’t read today’s strip yet (the Washington Post only carries an online version), but I gotta say, Mudges, the comments I’ve read are making me almost too afraid to look. Sounds like something that will scar me for life.
queek
August 17th, 2009 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

Rob, thank you for the heads up on the poll.

Here’s my submission:

Top 5 in the Sunday Comics:

1: Prince Valiant. don’t you dare drop this!
2: Frazz: best new strip around, and local
3: Lio: tied with Frazz for best new strip
4: Pearls Before Swine: perhaps the best strip in the funnies these days
5: Cul de Sac. I like it, even if it is very strange.

Bottom 5, please terminate with extreme prejudice:

-5: Rose is Rose. used to be ok, now just cloying and sickening. Baby Blues is in the same boat, less sugar but worse art.
-4: Family Tree. ugly, unfunny, worse than the dozen or so other strips just like it.
-3: The Dinette Set. refuse to even read this
-2: Argyle Sweater: Why hasn’t Larson filed a C&D on Hilburn yet?
-1: For Better or Worse. kill the zombieFOOB! Kill it with fire!
Jamus The Bartender
August 17th, 2009 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

148. I believe I can field this one….see, when I was a kid, I spent a lot of time at the library. A sedate place, where learning and quiet were the watchwords. Now, librarians, as we all know, come in all genders, shapes and sizes, but the predominant image is the unmarried spinster with the glasses. So….how cool is it when a hot babe with glasses and pinned back hair starts dancing on the library checkout desk to Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher”? Very cool, that’s what :)
Mibbitmaker
August 17th, 2009 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

MT, continuing PSA: “Right, Smokey. Mark Trail says watch out for fires and report them. And listen to our old pal Smokey Bear. He has…a ……..wait a minute. Smokey, what’s that on your face?” “Why, it’s fur, Mr. Trail.” “Fur??… that’s facial hair!!” POW! (kids all start crying)
Sequitur
August 17th, 2009 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

I think Charley had a video in his collection called “Smokey the Bare.”
corinthian
August 17th, 2009 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

I swear, when I was reading the throw-away panels from Rex Morgan I thought I was reading Funky Winkerbean…
bats :[
August 17th, 2009 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

148. Rachel re OT: I have no idea. Maybe it’s because girls are supposed to be pretty (even at the expense of intelligence) and boys are supposed to like the pretty girls best (even if some are dumb as a sack of doorknobs). A librarian is somewhat subversive, an intelligent girl that can be lusted after in a public place, from afar, without a guy getting hassled by his buddies for liking a smart girl.
Heck, I dunno.
porky
August 17th, 2009 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

Hey, Smokey!

Here in British Columbia, when the weather is right for forest fires (trees burning is usually a good indicator). all open fires — especially campfires like the one Mark and his young friend have going — are banned.

So, hopefully, after that spotter plane has contacted the fire boss, a Martin Mars water bomber will arrive overhead and extinguish Mark’s “safe” campfire with 7,200 gallons of Thermo-Gel. And maybe him along with it…
Joe Blevins
August 17th, 2009 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

On top of Old Smokey / All covered with hair / Of course I’m referring / To Smokey the Bear – Alan Sherman

Two quick plugs:
1. I submitted the Find of the Day on Found Magazine.
2. I’m in The Achievers, a DVD about Lebowski fandom which comes to DVD tomorrow. If you go to the website, be sure to watch the trailer. I’m the guy who appears at roughly the three-fourths mark, proclaiming himself to be the “real Chicago Lebowski trivia champion.”
Muffaroo
August 17th, 2009 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

SFox – Where was the combination hidden? Since Slylock knows that the clue, whatever it is, is always in something that doesn’t obey some carefully selected facet of the laws of nature, that it had to be under the table which, perversely, cast no shadow.
gleeb
August 17th, 2009 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

Archie: He takes such delight in others’ horror. Even the mounted fish is horrified.

Curtis: Would a vocal coach smoke so much she wheezes?

Dick: Well, you went to the police just 2 weeks ago (or in strip time 5 minutes). That’s not much time to create that note. Even if the killer had it already made (it’s called planning), it still takes time to plant. I’m also guessing the letters are torn from a circus poster.

‘bean: Oh, it’s not a good idea to taunt Insane Henry like that. The voices will only get louder.

Judge Parker: Does “Sam decides to wait for Rocky and asks Marie to take Sophie to school,” really warrant that exclamation point?

Mark: Not only is he lost, but the crazy perspective in Lost Forest has shrunk him to a quarter of his usual height!

Zits: Wouldn’t he want the kid to screw up, if only to put off the era of “Dad, can I borrow the car,” for a while?
Muffaroo
August 17th, 2009 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

Sgt Saunders @y37 – Google is your friend. I can always find a free-standing DFC when I want one, not even counting the complete copy I laboriously downloaded when I thought it was going away forever.

Anna Nimity @5 – Bears don’t drink beer? Don’t tell Hamms that, or the fine folks who said, “See that bear lapping up that pure, Rocky Mountain spring water? Sure makes a big hairy guy like me thirsty. That’s when I wrap my lips around a tall, cold, sweaty, edible bottle of Bear Whiz Beer. Like my old daddy used to say, ‘Son, it’s in the water. That’s why it’s yellow!’”

Spiny Norman @24 – “How many strokes was that, sir?” (Playboy cartoon by Buck Brown — I think — somewhere around 1970)

Hogenmogen @64 – I read your comment! I liked it!

mvg @61 – Your suggestion has strong merit. Mind if I spell it “Bathios”?

Poteet @105 – Officially “Smokey Bear”? Wow. The song I learned in grade school definitely had the “the” in it. [Smokey the Bear, Smokey the Bear / Growlin' and a-prowlin' and a-sniffin' the air / He can smell a fire before it starts to flame / That's why they call him Smokey, that's how he got his name.] [And he's wearing dungarees. Fittingly, considering what he does in the forest.] [Oops! Hi, gnome de blog!]

Little A @138 – Well, the animals are pretty well drawn, though I like to think that Severin’s style would have jumped out at me, cause damn he’s good. I was wondering, though, who does the Sunday “Herb & Jamaal,” which reminded me vaguely of the work of Howard Cruze.

Sequitur @142 – Yes, they still make Chunky. They just make, as far as I’ve noticed, the basic model, not the pecan one that Judy Carne used to mention.

me @165 – Hmmm, change “knows” to “knowing” and put a comma before it, and that’ll be coherent. Or at least cast a shadow.
Dr. Pill
August 17th, 2009 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

143 Sequitur: Drat! I was gonna post “On Top of Spaghetti.” Guess I’ll just have to suck it up …
John C Fremont
August 17th, 2009 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

# queek – OMG! You are so right!
Joe Blevins
August 17th, 2009 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

Re: queek @ 157

I believe Dinette Set has a shot at being the absolute worst single-panel feature going today. Oh, it has the usual problems common to many features — ugly art, lame jokes — but it compounds those problems with a condescending attitude toward its subject matter and a near-total inability to convey a joke clearly. In the typical Dinette panel, the reader is confronted with a wall of unfunny text (unfunny signs, unfunny t-shirts) which compete with the main unfunny joke. It’s an amateurish mess. How this thing ever achieved syndication is beyond me.

Someone out there must like it. Please, CCers, explain the appeal of Dinette Set to me.
bats :[
August 17th, 2009 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

164. Joe Blevins: I do believe you are the true and real Chicago Lebowski trivia champion! I’ve only seen the movie twice (but one of those times was on a huge screen at Tucson’s local art house cinema), and while I might miss a lot of the nuances, nothing is funnier than a ferret tossed into a bathtub.

While we’re plugging (in a good way): our local Friends of the Library recently received a donation of 30,000 comic books from the family of a guy who’d moved into Tucson with every intent of opening a comic book store. He died before that happened and the family put the books in storage for over 10 years; thank Ignatz that they were well-stored and kept in their individual sleeves, so they were in great shape.
Long story short: we had a comic-book only sale on Saturday, six hours only, and made $7,500 for various library programs. Not bad when most of the comics sold for 50 cents each.
(And weird to see that The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Johnny Quest, Retief, The Prisoner, Modesty Blaze, all had comics…)
Oh, yay, us!
gnome de blog
August 17th, 2009 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

148 Rachel said:

Warren was written to look like a big jerk so the cult like readers of FOOB would really embrace Blandthony. And now poor Wally is being viewed as someone who had a lot of nerve coming back to Becky since she’s “moved on.”

I beg to disagree. I think Batiuk was trying, and not very successfully, to portray the plight of a poor soldier given up for dead. As someone mentioned earlier, he went for pathos and got bathos. In his version, Wally’s just a victim.

I also think Becky did what she had to do. You can’t uncross the Rubicon. Imagine the snarking she would have gotten from us if she’d walked out on her kids because she felt sorry for Wally, pitiful as he is. She carried the torch as long as she could.

It’s a crappy story, mostly because Wally is an inert character and the set-up is totally implausible. But don’t pile on Becky. Batiuk put her in an impossible situation. I hope he can find a little redemption for Wally down the road.
Muffaroo
August 17th, 2009 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

bats :[ @171 – Oh, god! Wish I’d been there.
Muffaroo
August 17th, 2009 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

ps to Bats :[ - Modesty Blaise was a comic strip [1963] before it was a movie [1966].
AeroSquid
August 17th, 2009 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

BB: Sarge is getting old. Normally Beetle’s pants would have blown off too.
Poteet
August 17th, 2009 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

# 134 gnome — Thanks. Very interesting, especially about the disease.

Here, fire suppression is a big reason oak woodlands are disappearing. Come to think of it, I don’t remember ever seeing Mark Trail or any of his friends doing land management work. Apparently LoFo really is a magical place. Kewl.
AeroSquid
August 17th, 2009 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

Keepin’ it real in Funky Town:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2667/3832038722_042105c492_o.jpg
gnome de blog
August 17th, 2009 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

176 Poteet – Thank you, thank you. I should mention that fire has a tendency to suppress insects and other tree-damaging pests, which is why fire-suppressed forests are often less healthy.

Wouldn’t it be interesting if there was a lightning-caused fire in Lost Forest? Elrod could explore the conflict between protecting human habitation and promoting healthy ecosystems.

I don’t doubt, however, that the ol’ right cross of retribution would take out the fire just like any other hairy-faced criminal. Nobody ever said lightning was smart.
Uncle Lumpy
August 17th, 2009 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

Mark’s violent urges toward LoFo lightning bolts would compete with Rusty’s attempts to adopt them, and Cherry’s thrusts to make her hips the high ground.
StrangeRover
August 17th, 2009 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

I know Garfield minus Garfield is old Garfield comics, but in today’s G-minus, Jon’s intended date has to “floss her otter.” I think that puts Jim Davis in the company of Buddy Hacket, Bob Saget, and Blowfly. FILTHY. Is this what we’re exposing our children to in the funny pages?

Now, ’scuse me while I go clean out the garage.
Vince M
August 17th, 2009 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

I was at the St. Marks National Wildlife Refuge in the Florida panhandle when a lightning strike started a wildfire – I’m just saying it was a pretty cool thing to witness.
Course I had the good sense to get on the inland side of it real quick.
FrakVenting
August 17th, 2009 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

FW: OK, this isn’t WWII. It’s modern-day. Does anybody think, for even a fraction of a nano-second, that were a soldier today to have been missing for a month in Afghanistan, then presumed to be dead in Iraq, only to emerge years later as part of a previously-covert hostage deal, who then comes home to his wife who has moved on with the Comicshop Boy (who was already sidling up to her at the soldier’s ‘funeral’ – because he wasn’t going to take a chance she might get away again!) . . . that the whole freaking country wouldn’t be tuning in? That the entire media wouldn’t be following him around 24/7 hoping for an interview? That the three of them wouldn’t be getting buried under invitations from the Jerry Springer Show? That Wally wouldn’t be getting a reality TV show to find him a new girlfriend? ANY of the things that Wally has gone through would have made the 24-hour news rotation! Yet he’s gone through ALL of these things and we’re expected to just accept that the country wouldn’t notice?

What frustrates me is how Batiuk is trying to tell the story from some other war, being pretty much oblivious to this one. In WWII, with 400,000 dead and thousands missing, and communication lagging by months, this story might have been plausible. But not today.

As for Becky . . . yikes . . . aren’t both of those kids Wally’s? One they rescued from Afghanistan – what, she doesn’t remember him (or was she a casualty of the time warp)? So now he’s just getting frozen out? Could you image if the movie Cast Away ended with Helen Hunt’s character simply telling Tom Hanks’ that “sorry, buddy, you’re just out of the picture” and then sending him off thinking “I’m so glad he’s gone”? This is way to pat.
buckyswife
August 17th, 2009 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

179 Uncle Lumpy: And only Andy would have the common sense to just stay indoors.
Talking Squirrel
August 17th, 2009 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

Castorbean: To give credit where it’s due, George Carlin really looks well-preserved in his current guest appearance. Funny, though, how the stiffs are the liveliest things in this strip.
tb4000
August 17th, 2009 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

Luann: Evans, just turn this strip into a softcore porn already, please.
AeroSquid
August 17th, 2009 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

Garfield minus Garfield plus Human Pelvis:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2549/3832247576_4da0bf33d2_o.jpg
Uncle Lumpy
August 17th, 2009 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

#183 buckyswife –

Andy is an old soul — it’s a miracle he tolerates Mark’s antics, much less allows his preposterous “owner/master” fantasy. I’d like to have a drink with Andy. Probably brandy, huh?
MolyBendum
August 17th, 2009 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

180 StrangeRover: I swear I’m going to say “I’ve got to go floss my otter” as many times as humanly possible today.

When Smokey says “Today so many people are moving from our urban communities into the wilderness areas”….I picture dandy fops in bowlers and long-tail dinner jackets wandering aimlessly in the woods, perhaps carelessly tossing a wooden match after roosting the foot of a slim Montecristo.
Damn those city slickers. Damn them to hell.
True Fable
August 17th, 2009 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

#186 AeroSquid – Well, now it makes sense!
AeroSquid
August 17th, 2009 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

186 True Fable – I thought so too !
B. Racoon
August 17th, 2009 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

One must be careful when flossing one’s otter. Yes.
Vince M
August 17th, 2009 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

182: I dunno, from what I could see, back in WWII, servicemen were getting at least some kind of support and acknowledgement – I think he’s reaching back to WWI and the whole ‘forgotten man’ syndrome of the 1930s.
anonymous
August 17th, 2009 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: the joke is the plugger brought his lunchbox in to work and the younger pluggers don’t recognize the character on it ( the plugger is just using the one his pappy always used and the younger pluggers are candidates for Jaywalking.) Oblivious to the idea that that ancient smelly old lunchbox might be worth more than the plugger’s car! Haw haw! To carry it further, I propose the plugger list his valuable lunchbox on eBay and (there’s a joke about a plugger’s secondary source of income in there someplace).
ladadog
August 17th, 2009 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

174 Muffaroo,
And the series of Modesty Blaise books also came after the comic strip. (1965). I read some of them this spring. Fun.
AeroSquid
August 17th, 2009 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

Otter Fresh ™:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3430/3831542579_837b3f4fc4_o.jpg
sugarpie
August 17th, 2009 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

Joe Blevins, 170 Hmmm. I read the Dinette Set daily and I don’t disagree with your rant.

When the local paper started carrying it, years ago, I thought it was too hateful towards the characters, and that Julie Larson took too many cheap shots at the ignorance and self-importance of her characters. Unseemly, unenlightened, and cruel: like making fun of the hadicapped. I have to say, however, I know lots of people like those portrayed in Dinette Set, who unlike Pluggers, do get in a nice jab at each other every now and then. Maybe its a way for me to laugh at people like those in Dinette Set without hurting their feelings in real life.

To tell the truth, I’m still conflicted by The Dinette set. In a way it’s like Funky Winkerbean, in that the artist developes the characters only to turn around and make fun of them (though of course Batiuk tortures his creatures rather than mock them).

The art is awful. I think thats part of the joke, that it doesn’t seem to take itself too seriously. But it’s not as grim as the un-ironically bad and lazy styles of Beetle Baily, Hagar the Horrible, Crock, or Hi and Lois.

I guess I can’t really defend it, which is obvious judging by what I’ve written. Yet I read it, and more often than not it amuses me more than most of the legacy strips.

My vote for worst strip (amongst those I’m allowed to mention here) is Edison Lee. Far and away the most pompous, boring, smug, self-congratulatory, and pointless waste of newsprint ever. EVER!
bats :[
August 17th, 2009 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

186. AeroSquid: ok. You win the Surreality Sweepstakes.
Tlachtga
August 17th, 2009 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

Sunday’s RMMD: What! Is With! All! the Exclamation! Points!?!
AeroSquid
August 17th, 2009 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

197 bats :[ G-G+ ? is limitless comedy(?) gold ! I wonder if Jim Davis would buy off on it !

G-G+Red Meat
G-G+Lost Forest Fauna
G-G+Japanese Rice Cooker

See ? Endless !
F. Cecious Lee
August 17th, 2009 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

Last summer I went with my son to Boy Scout camp. One of the counselors in the “new boy” program had good expression that he used in several scenarios. “If you do this you will (start a forest fire, cause massive erosion, cause massive beetle invasions, increase global warming, etc) and Smokey the Bear will come to your house, ring the doorbell, and when you answer he will maul your face”. Those little 11 year olds laughed, but I bet that made caused more nightmares than the standard issue camp ghost story.
Islamorada Girl
August 17th, 2009 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

One can never, ever have too much Cul de Sac, or for that matter, Richard’s Poor Almanac. Richard Thompson is the funniest man in the universe. Send him the good thoughts for his battle with Parkinson’s, please. He’s really a great guy.
AeroSquid
August 17th, 2009 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

Garfield minus Garfiel plus Liz:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2506/3831673919_cb232bbe1d_o.jpg
Li’l Bunnë FooFoo
August 17th, 2009 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

For the record I LOVE Cul de Sac — it’s quite possibly my favorite newspaper comic.

Also for the record, when we met my husband was a librarian. However there were no librarian fantasies involved. For one thing, he worked in the math library; I was a liguistics major and didn’t even know there was a math library.
bats :[
August 17th, 2009 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

199. AeroSquid: good lord, you’re right! Genius!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/3832522024/
AeroSquid
August 17th, 2009 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

204 bats :[ heheheheh
Farley's Revenge
August 17th, 2009 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

MW: Good Lord. Those two have managed only to remove their jackets and are now sitting on the bed and talking? Quick, someone Fedex copies of the Kama Sutra and The Joy of Sex so they’ll have an idea of what it is they’re supposed to be doing(Hint: It involves the bed and, possibly, sitting if they’re in an adventurous mood). For a moment, I thought perhaps Larry was copping a feel prior to more action but I was wrong. Larry has no concept of what it is to feel let alone to cop one.

At the rate they’re going, their unborn child will be 30 yrs. old before s/he is born.
Farley's Revenge
August 17th, 2009 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

Oh yeah, and Del looks like she’s aged a decade in the time it took her to take off her jacket. By the time they’re finished talking, she’ll look as old as Mary.
Anonymous
August 17th, 2009 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

Farley’s Revenge @ 207: That’s so sweet, You really do think they’re going to stop talking, don’t you?

Promise me you’ll never grow up, ‘kay?
boojum
August 17th, 2009 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

208 was me. Stupid cookies.
Farley's Revenge
August 17th, 2009 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

Boojum: No, I don’t think they’ll stop talking. Those two could be swinging upside down from the light fixtures* and their gums would keep flapping. The neighbors in the next rooms would be banging on the walls telling them to shut up, already, and get on with things.

*Fully dressed, of course. They may be married but they still have to adhere to Mary’s strict dress code standards.
Mibbitmaker
August 17th, 2009 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

The thing with Del and Larry is that, in the Charterstone Universe*, endless talking IS sex.

*no matter where anyone is in the Worth strip, it’s all the Charterstone Universe. Even Vietnam!
commodorejohn
August 17th, 2009 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

#148 Rachel – I can see where you’re coming from, but I think the real cruelty Batiuk’s inflicting here is that neither choice is “right;” Becky either tells her first love that’s she’s moved on, or she tells the man she’s loved for the past not-quite-ten-years “shove off, my main squeeze is back in town.” Either way, she’s forced into hurting someone she loves. That Batiuk, wotta joker!

Of course, she’s still being a douche about it; after all, even if you feel that you need to turn the guy down, you could at least be civil and kind and not act like he survived his ordeal just to spite you and make your life inconvenient. But hey! What’s a little stone-cold heartlessness among friends?

As for the librarian thing…some of us just like the geekier girls, but I believe for a lot of guys there’s the belief that librarians = antisocial = virgin = desperate for sex = a giant ball of repressed lust just waiting to break free. Never understood that myself, but there you go.
Jym
August 17th, 2009 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

=v= I can’t explain the librarian fetish because a librarian stopped me from reading the psychology books, on the grounds that I was 8 years old. She was pretty hot, too.

Add me to the list of Cul de Sac fans. I cannot heap enough praise on this strip.
Jackuul
August 18th, 2009 at 12:59 am [Reply]

You know who has a library fetish? Well think about it – libraries are full of flammable material for his fire fetish, he doesn’t care about age or looks because he is fat, he makes all his money off of the government , and he likely is in a haze most of his days.

No, not Smokey the Bear…

Okay okay, you got me. A Pluggers version of Smokey the Bear. Because they’re on welfare, amirite?
Rachel
August 18th, 2009 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

Not to carry on the librarian discussion too much (love being snarky about comics), the funniest thing men tell me is “you don’t look like a librarian” or “you’re too cute to be a librarian”. Smar girls rule, no matter what we look like!!

Thanks for your two cents about the librarian thing…

As for FW, I just wish Becky handled Wally with more heart and that they might have had a secret night together for “closure”. Sending him off to walk in the streets of Ohio with hoping he’ll join the marching band is hardly a “welcome home” that poor Wally deserves. Maybe if its wasn’t so cut and dry, maybe Becky wouldn’t have come across as cold hearted.
Rachel
August 18th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

Please excuse me: Smart girls rule! I just ate my own words since I didn’t bother to proofread
Thomas B.
August 24th, 2009 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

Does a bear shit in the woods? Sure, right after he pulls down his Wranglers.

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