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A trio of befuddlement

Not to horn in on the excellent schtick of Comics I Don’t Understand, but … there are three comics today that I just … don’t understand. Perhaps you all can help me.

The Lockhorns, 8/11/05

So this is no doubt another small, passive-aggressive skirmish in the Lockhorns’ long-running war over money. I suppose the point is that by putting the sign on his car (after no doubt stealing it from the battered pick-up truck of some hapless pizza merchant), Leroy is trying to put a stop to Loretta’s wild spending habits. In so doing, he’s throwing back in Loretta’s face one her chief complaints about him — his inability to support her in the lifestyle to which she’d like to become accustomed. What I don’t understand is his facial expression — in this strip, the crooked smile and mussed combover hairs are usually indicators of drunkenness. Maybe here it signifies the shameful bravado of his making a defiant act of aggression out of his low-earning status. There’s another fatal flaw in his plan, of course, which Loretta seems to have recognized. You’ve got to get out of the car sometime Leroy, and when you do, that paltry paycheck is hers.

Willy ‘n Ethel, 8/11/05

OK, so The Lockhorns I mostly got after thinking a little bit about it. This one, however, is a little more opaque. There’s a lot of content here — a potentially humor-rich environment in which some kind of joke might lurk — but such a point is difficult to suss out. Ethel’s punch-card of deceit is inherently amusing, of course, but I’ve tried coming at Willy’s response to it from a couple of different angles and none of them quite work. Is he saying that if she ran a pizza parlor and left town after filling up a punch card it would be bad for business? Or that if she were running a pizza parlor he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from lying and thus filling up the card? Or that giving away free pizzas to liars is an unpromising business model? You’ve won this round, Joe Martin … but the war’s not over yet, I promise you that.

Marmaduke, 8/11/05

Sometimes, I don’t get the joke. Sometimes, I’m pretty convinced that there’s no joke to get. Marmaduke’s going for a walk. He stops to look at a bug. His annoyed owner, longing for the comforts of his slippers and his easy chair, wants Marmaduke to hurry up and move along. That’s it. Where’s the joke? Where’s the humor? Well, aren’t you demanding! If you aren’t satisfied with vignettes like this, the little grace notes of living with a big dog, then you don’t deserve to enjoy Marmaduke.

182 responses to “A trio of befuddlement”

  1. Chris
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    First! Do I get another prize?

  2. Mooselet
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    It would seem Willy’s drinking buddy is equally baffled, given the blank stare on his face. It seems to be saying “Why am I drinking with this idiot?”. Or maybe there’s a missing panel, as DB has seemingly topped up his drink (fresh foam), which explains it all.

  3. Chris
    August 11th, 2005 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    Josh, you’re really trying to avoid FBOFW. Otherwise, why would you pick these three? Come on, give in to the madness!

  4. 2fs
    August 11th, 2005 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    Fourth! You are giving away prizes to randomly numbered commentors, aren’t you?

  5. Beasley
    August 11th, 2005 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    Obviously, it’s a reference to the fact that we are so surrounded by ‘listening devices’…or, “bugs”…placed by our “government”, the omnipresence of “bugs” are thought of as a simple annoyance.

    But add a giant dog to the mix and it becomes comedy gold!

    /*crickets chirping*

  6. Sid
    August 11th, 2005 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    A few pizza shops in my area give out punch cards. For each pizza you order, you get one punch, and after a certain number of punches you get a free pizza.

    Though this information does not make the ‘Willy ‘n Ethel’ comic in question funny, I feel it may be a helpful baby step toward unlocking the mystery.

  7. Islamorada Girl
    August 11th, 2005 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    There are some things humankind’s puny brain was not meant to contemplate.
    These three strips are among those things.

    I’m the 7th poster! Do I win a trip to Hawaii?

  8. illogickel
    August 11th, 2005 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    I-girl, you win a trip for two to Hawaii!

  9. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    August 11th, 2005 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    I am sure that if I showed Marmaduke to my mother in law, she would howl with laughter. Sorry, can’t help with that one.

    Willy ‘n Ethel: I dunno… you’re right, this is a poser. Does Willy plan to give her pizza cards to punch, instead?

    Josh, you do understand the Lockhorns. It’s just not funny.

  10. Bob
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    The look on leroy’s face is quiet satisfaction in knowing that he has made his point to Loretta, however useless the attempt is.

    Regarding Willy and Ethyl, I think cartoonist oversight explains the non sequiter. Ethyl is filling up the card with holes so fast that if it were a free pizza card, she would be out of business in no time. However, Mr. Martin forgot to draw in tons o’holes on the punch card to emphasize his point.

  11. Stocc
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    Sid is on the right track. Pizza places give out promotional cards and once you’ve filled them up with stickers, or stamps, or hole punches you get a free pizza or free slice or something. In this strip, the prize at the end or “free pizza” is the guy’s wife leaving him. And the “hole punches” that he has to collect are simply him telling lies. It will be very easy for him to fill his lie card at no cost to him and then he wins the prize of his wife leaving him forever. If you followed a similar model in an actual pizza business you would be in poor shape very quickly.

    Also, my car go in this tree.

  12. Meghan
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    I think Marmaduke is supposed to be afraid of the bug, thus his reluctance to move forward. Though there are no outward signs of fear, no lines to show he’s scared at all, the only plausable punchline I can come up with is “Big dog afraid of little bug.”

    But having a punchline doesn’t make it suck any less.

  13. Some Guy Here
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    Just for the record, IMHO, Comics I Don’t Understand doesn’t hold a candle to this site. Maybe it’s the lack of commentary or seemingly non-existant archive, but it just seems…lacking….

    Anyway, keep up the good work Josh!

  14. Mumblix Grumph
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    By the way, Marmaduke hasn’t been the same since Shelly Long quit.

  15. Dingo
    August 11th, 2005 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    So, I went to Lynn’s site to see if I’d get an early fix of the Battle of Liz and Howard Erk and what do I see? A button for “Spanish Sundays.” In my mind I imagined Lynn spending the Sabbath getting herself a little roadside with the gardening help. Instead, you get the Sunday strips in Spanish. But wait! There’s more! You can also read it in Norwegian, Danish, Finnish and Swedish. A direct Spanish translation is “In the good thing and in the bad thing.” (I think Anthony would see that as Liz versus Therese) Does anyone know what the translations of the strip’s title would be from the Scandinavian languages?

    For being 15th, I want Marie Osmond to scootch naked across my living room carpet like a dog in heat while singing “Meet Me in Montana.”

  16. Dingo
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:08 am [Reply]

    It’s 12:02 and I know it was ANTHONY!!! Yes, Anthony is our hero. Clutch your hands to your bosom and heave a sigh. He finally “had something worth fighting for.” In other words, if Howard Erk raped his wife Anthony would make suggestions (“try ‘Congress of the Cow’”).

  17. tara
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    I so hope Anthony and Liz will be together someday and be rid of the evil wife….

  18. Lydia
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    Hmmm — maybe Liz’s savior is that helicopter dude from a couple years ago? We thought he might re-surface in Liz’s love life… Besides, is Anthony strong enough to take on the Howie? Anthony seems too gentle, freckly, and moustache-y for such an “I like things a little rough” opponent.

  19. Not Really Scandinavian
    August 12th, 2005 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    Dingo, the Danish is roughly “In desire and need” and the Norwegian is probably “In good or bad days”.

  20. Pam
    August 12th, 2005 at 1:15 am [Reply]

    The joke for the pizza comic is that it’s very easy to fake those punch cards so you can get your free pizza sooner. So the guy can fake punch holes in his lie card so he can get his wife to leave him sooner.

  21. Occam
    August 12th, 2005 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    #13 Some Guy Here: I, too, like “Comics I Don’t Understand” but find it frustrating that much of this year, the weekly updates are promised and then not delivered. Example: the site currently says there will be a new posting on August 1st and nothing new has been posted yet.

    I wish he would either follow through and make the postings on time or not give a date for the update; I don’t mind an occasional lapse; people do have lives outside the comics world (well, OTHER people do; sometimes I wonder if I do). But when the same lack of attention to the site happens month after month, it’s time to make some changes. Other than that, I enjoy the site.

    Ah, yes, old Anthony is the hero in Foobville. What next? Will his wife chew him out for getting involved, since she doesn’t seem to like any of the Pattersons?

  22. Lydia
    August 12th, 2005 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    From just a look at the Lockhorns comic, with no knowledge of the characters or their backstory – it looks like the guy is a taxi driver trying to pick up a prostitute whose sign has foiled him.

  23. Lydia
    August 12th, 2005 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    And oh my god, there are two of me here.

  24. Denise
    August 12th, 2005 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    This cartoon is for that one relative everyone has that laughs at everything. Even if it’s not something to laugh about. The kind where, if they see you sitting down, wearing slippers and reading a book, will announce “You’re comfortable reading, aren’t ya?” and start laughing as though you’re doing something really, really funny.

  25. Anon y Mouse
    August 12th, 2005 at 3:27 am [Reply]

    So in FBOFW, anthony is liz’s savior. How predictable. So he’ll dump his wife, (Or more likely, the wife will dump him) and anthony and liz will live happily ever after. And her brother will live in the parents house, and april will grow up to be a hooker.
    All so predictable..

  26. lynette
    August 12th, 2005 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    love it , Denise. Those head-shakers who “brighten the day” with their continual cheery (but slyly deprecatory) remarks on everything outside their realm. Tedious oversimplification and mind numbing sunny disposition. “Chuckle…isn’t she just a card!”

  27. yellojkt
    August 12th, 2005 at 4:58 am [Reply]

    You see, Marmaduke is a huge dog afraid to go past a little bug. He’s all alligator mouth, hummingbird rump. Like the cartoons where the lion is scared by the mouse.

  28. Sheila
    August 12th, 2005 at 6:00 am [Reply]

    Anthony makes the guy apologize and leave? Huh?

    Why exactly does he not beat the living crap out of him?

    And isn’t anyone going to call the police?

    I mean, hello, we’re beyond stalking into attempted rape, right? An apology doesn’t exactly cover it! I’ll sure be watching tomorrow to see whether Howard’s got handcuffs on…

  29. Sheila
    August 12th, 2005 at 6:01 am [Reply]

    P.S. Why on earth don’t they put Marmaduke down?

  30. Big Chief Titty-Twister
    August 12th, 2005 at 6:57 am [Reply]

    In today’s FBOFW, is it just me, or is Anthony pulling Howard’s hair (or ear!) in the 2nd panel? And Liz calls this fighting? Did this follow Anthony’s much feared titty-twister and Indian rope burn? Is this just because Anthony is a P-whipped wuss, or do all Canadians fight like this? (Hockey players exempted of course!)

    -He who fights and runs away, lives to run another day!

  31. Mumblix Grumph
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:01 am [Reply]

    When did the Lockhorns start driving a Saab? And look at the color! Did they steal it from a Swedish cab company? I bet the “humorous” placard is really there to cover up the “Husker Du Taxi” sign.

  32. Crazy Dog Lady
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    Being a dog nerd, I have to point out that Marmaduke is not afraid of the bug. He is “play bowing” to the bug, which is something dogs do when they are playing with something (or want something to play with them). The “joke” is that the itty bitty bug is not going to play with the huge dog. Cuz Marmaduke’s a HUGE DOG! Hah! Comic gold.

  33. Irina
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:12 am [Reply]

    Apologize? APOLOGIZE??!?

    Dude committs assault and battery with likely attempted rape, and that foob Anthony just LETS HIM GO??!?

    Next up, will Liz insist that Howard keep his job? “After all, Lawrence,” says Liz, channeling her mom during the Kourtney incident, “there was never any real penetration. Howard might have just been kidding around.”

    Maybe Lawrence should hire Elly’s assistant from Lilliputs … the only person in Millborough who seems has the cojones to fire someone.

    Okay. Rant mode off. Y’know, I was a little surprised/disappointed that Lynne didn’t make Lawrence the surprise savior.

    That way, it could have fit neatly into the plot/timeline, since he just left (as it stands, is Lizzie just trading up one stalker for another? What was Anthony doing there, anyway??).

    Not only that, we could have a a 2-for-1 sermon! We’d all learn about the evils of sexual assault, but also when Howie decides to put up a fight against Lawrence, (after all, in Howie’s eyes L is nothing but a little nancypants hohmsex’l), Lawrence could then promptly beat the bejeezus out of him. It would prove once and for all that gays are capable of anything straights can do, and hold the moral high ground!

  34. Smitty Smedlap
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    Agree with Crazy Dog Lady — Marmaduke is definitely in the play crouch. In our house, that can only mean one thing — imminent biting of the pants leg. Or, if it’s shorts weather, imminent ankle biting. Stupid hound.

  35. Islamorada Girl
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    And so, creepy stalker and wannabe rapist Howard, having driven the plot a quarter inch forward, now retires to the Foob Hall of Dangling and Unresolved Storylines, never to be heard from again. Let alone arrested and charged with assault and battery and attempted rape.

    Kudos to Mt. Foob for another incident of comicus interruptus unresolvedus.

    Time to stick a fork in it, Lynn. You are so done.

  36. anon
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke Explained: Yes, Big Doggie stops to look at Little Bug in awe and wonder. Because it’s so cute, see, such a big animal that’s so filled with the wonder and enjoyment of life that it stops to look at the glimpse of nature which is all ’round us. I continue to wonder how big a roast Marmaduke would make, dressed out and displayed in a buther’s case.

  37. WoodrowFan
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    Is it just me or is Loretta kinda hot, sure she’s no Emma, but still. */crickets/* ok, maybe not.

  38. doho123
    August 12th, 2005 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    Oddly enough, my 2 year old daughter is fascinated by bugs just like Marmaduke is. “Yeah yeah, it’s ANOTHER bug! Let’s keep going as the traffic is getting closer.”

    In other news, something I’ve noticed in Candorville:
    http://www.comics.com/wash/candorville/archive/images/candorville2005228910811.gif

    I know most comics are either drawn with four or five digits on each foot or hand, depending on how lazy the artist is, I guess. But, oddly enough, Susan has the oddity of five fingers on each hand, but ONLY FOUR TOES ON EACH FOOT!!!! What’s up with that?

  39. MotoMike
    August 12th, 2005 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Comments on Crankshaft channelling Memento (or a certain Seinfeld episode): all the strips recently have the form “panel 1 – punchline apropos of nothing” followed by “panel 2 – ‘(insert time interval here) earlier’ with setup for panel 1 punchline”? He’s doing minimally funny strips but making them in REVERSE ORDER!

    But in Afghanistan, the suspense mounts … don’t move that foot for another week …

  40. marykat
    August 12th, 2005 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    As I have theorized before (#27 in the Foxtrot post), I believe that those crazy guys in Mil ford are trading secrets with Lynn. Now I fully believe that Lynn is not only helping them out with their “slang” but is also taking tips from them.

    My prediction is that sometime near the end of the strip (also known as the apocalypse) Lynn will begin wrapping up all of her story lines. She is probably afraid of running out of the fantastically funny material we have been blessed with lately (gwampaw’s dream sequence is especially memorable) so she is just leaving all the storylines open to ensure a great ending.

    This is where the (death to) Gil Thorpians come in. They are probably working behind the scenes to train her in “completely unrealated plotlines in all 3 panels” style of comedy they so favor. Given the enormous amount of unresolved storylines, I would expect that we should begin to see our favorite plots come back to life, one panel at a time. Imagine the excitement, if you will, of seeing that lonely helicopter pilot flying/Mike fighting a slander suit with the evil downstairs neighbors/Howard at the women’s shelter trying to pick up chicks. Oh wait…too many slow moving plots to keep track of. I’ll never remember it all! No wonder Lynn is retiring.

  41. Moesy
    August 12th, 2005 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke: a big dog with his butt in the air is just supposed to be funny. It fails miserably, but it’s supposed to be funny.

  42. DCBirdblaster
    August 12th, 2005 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    FBOFW:…Sigh…What a disappointment. Of all the possibilities for people to save Liz, Anthony was my least favorite. I was rooting for helecoptor guy.

    And what’s with the would-be-rapist getting off with an apology?! Passivist Canadians! Sitting on his back and pulling his ear?! Great Scott! You at least have to put your knee on his neck and lean.

    ‘Course here in Idaho, they let rapists go too so they can later murder the victim at their leisure. Then we get to hunt them down posse style and fill them full of lead. ( 187 shots fired from 12 weapons, that takes a few reloads. )

  43. jamison
    August 12th, 2005 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    a friend of mine says that fbofw is a little *too* real. “they call it the funny papers for a reason, you know.”

    that being said….while we would want to kick the living daylights out of howard, the plain fact is that howard has been to the all-you-can-eat a bit too often….and when you’re anthony, an untrained fighter whose been behind books a lot, you’re lucky just to get his ear.

    lynn johnston has us talking about stalkers, self defense, and adultery of the eyes. pretty good in a week, eh?

  44. Dennis Jimenez
    August 12th, 2005 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    FBOFW – I too was greatly disappointed by rescuer Anthony. I was sort of rooting (though not in my substandard Greek) for daddy Dr. Paterson – his raisin sized cahones swelling almost to the size of peanuts from the testosterone rush.

    Oh well, life with go on – FBOFW….

  45. AJ
    August 12th, 2005 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    I know everyone has been bashing Howard from FBOFW, but I have to applaud him. I mean, let’s take a good look at him. He’s fat, with a MASSIVE receding hair line, Bozo-the-Clown orange hair, and some kind of growth on his forehead. He has all the classic symptons of a guy who lives in his parents’ basement his whole life, eating Fritos and drinking diet sodas, while he masturbates to the oversexed females in superhero comic books. (Of which he has a collection valued at over $100K, not that he’s ever gonna sell them!)
    But he manages to overcome his genetic fate, and actually goes out to try to meet a girl. Now, is it his fault that he doesn’t know the proper way to behave around women? Of course not! He is simply a product of said comic books, and the ideas they place in kids’ minds about men and women! Liz was suppsed to melt simply because a man showed interest in her! In fact, I think it is HER fault this occured, for rejecting him in such a harsh manner! And she obviously is wearing a very provocative blue jeans and T-shirt outfit!
    This is what comes from giving women the vote! No wonder Irag is fighting so hard against us!

    BTW- Just in case some of you can’t tell, this was all sarcastic!

  46. Dingo
    August 12th, 2005 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    I don’t know which alarms me more: the person who wouldn’t read AJ’s comments as sarcastic or the fact he feels it must be mentioned.

  47. Zorba the Geek
    August 12th, 2005 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    Dingo, let’s just hope that anyone who wouldn’t read AJ’s comments as heavy sarcasm, wouldn’t be reading these posts in the first place. Obviously, we’re all enlightened, intelligent, thoughful (if nerdy) people here. I think.

  48. AJ
    August 12th, 2005 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Well, Dingo, in today’s world you just never know. I think most of the people who frequent this site are smart enough (and sarcastic enough themselves) to tell without that notice, but just in case someone were to find the site by accident…

  49. AJ
    August 12th, 2005 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    By the way, I myself am fairly new to the site. I found it featured on Yahoo, and checked it out. I love it! This is the best site I’ve found on the net since I Googled “amateur midget porn with food”!

  50. Nom du Jour
    August 12th, 2005 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    I think that Liz and Anthony are going to take Therese on a camping trip. They are going to hire Mark Trail as their guide.

    Beware of the red boyd portage, Therese.

  51. Snorty Laugh Girl
    August 12th, 2005 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Is no one else disturbed that Liz says “Be Careful!” Personally I would be screaming “Kick his Ass Anthony!” Though I’m not sure that’s allowed in Canada. And what did happen to helicopter guy? I miss him…(lustful sigh)

  52. jkdunham
    August 12th, 2005 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Josh, you don’t have a dog, do you???? This Marmaduke comic reminded me of my dearly departed husky, Keesha. Whenever we would visit my parents and take Keesha for walks, she would always try to play with the lawn booty at a neighbor’s house (it was one of those donkeys pulling a cart). Marmaduke is clearly hitting the “play” position and since he is so big, he thinks that the bug is a small dog. Makes complete sense to me…. I still don’t find it funny though…. Keesha, however, had us in stitches over her antics.

  53. Sheila
    August 12th, 2005 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    Yeah, Snorty Laugh Girl, that was strange! But then I thought, probably she’s telling Anthony to be careful that Howard doesn’t hurt him, rather than vice versa. Though even then it’s kind of a weird concern, as Anthony is clearly getting the best of it.

    Why doesn’t Liz help out by braining Erk-Boy with the stapler?

  54. Tom
    August 12th, 2005 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Let’s all just hope the next time Anthony has something worth fighting for — and I’m guessing that something won’t be his marriage — the person worth fighting is off-balance and busy wrestling with someone who is screaming at the top of her lungs. Otherwise he might have to do something more than place his forearm against the guy’s throat and lean back.

    Really, if he wants to be a vigilante, he should watch more hockey and less Three Stooges.

  55. Brent McKee
    August 12th, 2005 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    As far as the Willy & Ethel, I think it’s rather simple. She gave him the card and will punch it every time he tells a lie, but she’s the one who gets the reward (leaving him) when it’s filled out. If she had ever run a Pizza Parlor she would know that no one has ever held onto one of those cards long enough for all of the holes needed to be punched. He’ll lose the card, she’ll have to issue another one and she’ll never get her reward.

  56. Sheila
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Y’know, if Liz winds up with Anthony, I for one will be disgusted. What are the odds of Anthony being portable? (Are there bookkeeping jobs way up north? and anyway he’ll probably wanna stay near his stupid baby.) So Liz will have to give up freedom, adventure, self-reliance, and high ideals, and move back to her hometown, all amongst her family and her high school friends. Safe, secure, BORING. Feh!

    And Lynn’s going to present it as the right choice, simultaneously romantic and sensible. WHERE’S WARREN??? He’s gotta show up and present the case for the opposition!

  57. Dingo
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    The more I think about today’s FBoFW, the madder I get. Panel 1: What is Liz doing as she says, “Be careful!” and to whom is she saying it? She’s balancing on one foot while doing a dance that combines the lambada with Margo of Apt. 3G’s head bobble. Panel 2 & 3: Anthony was holding Howard Erk’s right ear in his hand. What happened to the left? In panel 3, something’s wrong with the left side of Howard’s head and his ear has been ripped off. Panel 4: You know a man loves you when he’ll let his glasses fall off in a fight. Panel 5: Already rehashed this but first time? The only way to read today’s strip is to grab a beer, and read it while listening to Becky’s graduation song. http://www.fborfw.com/strip_fix/grad_song.mp3

    Liz walks to Anthony, puts her arms around him and says, “Thank you, Anthony, for unleashing the tiger deep within you and saving me.” They look into each other’s eyes. Liz blushes. Anthony pulls her to him and says, “Once a tiger is unleashed, the village is unsafe.” He kisses her and lifts her onto the counter. They make mad, sweet love and the attempted rape is forgotten… for now.

  58. rich24
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Congrats to Dingo, for calling this plot development back on 7/27: “I’m afraid that Howard will attempt to rape Liz…be caught in the moment by Anthony who then kills him with one of his sharpened accountant’s pencils”…Yep, I knew you were right the se cond I read that! You are someone who clearly understands the working of the creaky gears in Lynn’s creaky head.

    BTW, Tara (8/11) says she found this site by Googling “FBOFW stalking”. My own introduction to this wonderful community came a few months ba ck, when I googled:

    “For better” gig roadside

    - just knowing there HAD to be other people out there as appalled by (and secretly addicted to) Lynn Johnston’s crackheaded stylings. Thank you, Josh! ˇ

  59. boilerplate
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    jkdunham and others are right – Marmaduke is absolutely in the “Let’s play!” position (or, as the Kama Sutra calls it, “grasshopper in heat”). Not really uproariusly hilarious, but as a large dog owner, I find it mildly chuckle-worthy.

    FBOFW – I was sort of hoping Liz’s savior would be helicopter-guy. Or that cute little kid from the third-worldish school where she teaches, who came south for some pathetic-but-cute reason – like donating his kidney to an ailing grandparent, or something.

    So now are we going to have to endure Anthony’ angsting about his obvious attraction to Liz for the next six weeks? Will Liz sacrifice her career to make a true home for Anthony and Therese’s child? And what about April and the mysterious cousin who has yet to show up?

    And yes, what was with letting that would-be rapist/stalker/loner/crazed guy go with an apology? Doesn’t Anthony ever watch television, or read newspapers? Doesn’t he know the guy’s only gonna come back with a small armoury of weapons to reclaim his manhood?

  60. loudfan
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Re: the question in post #15, the Swedish title of FBorFW is “Home, delightful home.” I also notice that April is still called April in the Swedish & Danish strips, but her name is Lise in the Norwegian strip and Anna in the Finnish one.

  61. Adouble
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    I found this site while googling “Gill Thorpe”, thank god for my bad spelling, as I got to here. The reason of why I was looking for an online Gil Thorp archive? Let’s not talk of that.

  62. The Burg
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Re: #58. C’mon now. Who DIDN’T see this one coming all the way down Foob Boulevard?

    And I think we can all agree, within the next few installments — excepting maybe a weeklong interuption during which Mr. Patterson will play with his toy trains or decide to buy another car — a grateful Liz will fall into Anthony’s arms, but then they agree that that’s just WRONG, and so he goes back to Frenchyville to confess all to Therese, and maybe propose marriage counseling so they can work out their differences for the good of the family, but he’ll find slutty Therese canoodling with some Rico Suave type in a black turtleneck — oh, I can’t go on.

    And if I’m wrong, I’ll — I’ll — I’ll force myself to listen to Becky’s Grad Song again.

  63. Nom du Jour
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Liz should have just stayed in Mtigwkiharburg. I bet she could have found summer work along the lines of working at the local Co-op. Then she would have been around the naive natives and not have to worry about the problems that the big smoke brings.

  64. Dingo
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Burg, even in Canada, he’s DOCTOR Patterson. They don’t let just anyone into your mouth – roadside excluded.

    As penance, three Becky’s Grad Song and one love note from Shane to Andrew of Quebec (bottom of April’s blog – July 18).

    http://www.fborfw.com/fun/blog/

  65. Mibbitmaker
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    This is what follows the last panel in FBOFW, and it’s based on the “Vacation” episode of “Sealab 2021″:

    Terese overhears Anthony’s dialogue from the last panel, and A and L just notice….

    LIZ: “Uh-oh!”
    ANTHONY: “Uh-oh!”
    (camera pans to each speaker)
    MICHAEL: “Uh-oh!”
    MR. KELPFROTH: “Uh-oh!”
    KORTNEY: “Uh-oh!”
    JEFFY: “Uh-oh!”
    MARY WORTH: “Uh-oh!”
    RITZILLA (dropping another swan): “Uh-oh!”
    BOB CRANE: “Uh-oh!”
    WALLY (still sweating and on the land mine): “Uh-oh!”
    EDDA: “Uh-oh! I think there’s a guy on a blog comment thread watching me!!”
    MOOCH: “Shuh-oh!”
    DANAE: “Uh-oh! (Stoopid males!)”
    CURTIS’s BED: “Uh-oh!”
    THAT SCHOOL IN PEANUTS: “Uh-oh!”
    MARGO (in full head bobble): “Uh-oh!”
    DOGBERT: “Heh-heh-heh…”
    HOBBES: “Uh-oh!” CALVIN (self-conscious): “What?-”
    JOSH: “Uh-oh, that Mibbit guy’s using up the bandwidth.”

    (etc. etc.)

  66. The Burg
    August 12th, 2005 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Dingo! I just looked at those two poor boys on “April’s Blog,” and I think we’d better send Dr. Patterson to administer some emergency food rations, before a stiff breeze comes in off the lake and blows them away.

    I did like all the puppies and kitties though.

  67. JK
    August 12th, 2005 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    FBOFW – I was dissapointed too. It was a great opportunity for Lynn to show that women with knowledge of self-defense don’t have to be prey to every man who has a screw loose.

    And ever since Anthony married Therese, Lynn has been trying to make him a sympathetic character so that when Therese finally walks out on him we all cheer. But how about fighting for your marriage, Anthony??? They need marriage counseling to find out why Therese is disengaged and Anthony tolerates it.

  68. Nealbar
    August 12th, 2005 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    The story line for FBOFW will be that the goddess bitch Therese will walk in while Liz is showing her thanks to Anthony, in the only way that the sexually repressed really know…a platonic hug. She will announce that she is leaving, demand $10,000 U.S. for the rights to the baby (see the money-grubbing baby shower episode) and when she is going to the bank to cash the cheque (it is Canada), she’ll be run over by a bus full of French Canadiens on their to an anti-Bush rally.
    Seems plausible to me.

  69. Islamorada Girl
    August 12th, 2005 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    Mt. Foob’s storylines are so contrived that the plots all have holes you could drive a 2 ton semi through without touching anything. And yet we read, hoping against hope.

  70. Jeff R.
    August 12th, 2005 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    I still say Howard should have been hit by the same car that hit April’s creepy junior stalker a few years back.

    I’m having difficulty believing even the sages of Mt. Foob believe that a mild public humiliation and loss of job are going to make things any better, long term, for the stalkee. I mean, sure, it’s Canada, so the typical US next story beat of ‘Howard buys a gun’ doesn’t apply, but still…

  71. sally
    August 12th, 2005 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    OMIGOD!!! If Anthony is hanging out waiting for a chance to prove himself to Liz, WHO’S WATCHING THE BABY??

  72. sally
    August 12th, 2005 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    *Ahem* I add my voice to the chorus of disappointment over Lynn’s choice of savior for Liz. Better choices include:

    (1) Liz herself — that way, in addition to teaching the youth of North America to take stalking foobs seriously, Lynn could also preach the virtues of self defense classes for women!

    (2) Liz’s dad, proving that the geezer isn’t dead yet.

    (3) Lawrence, proving that gays can beat the crap out of foobs (as noted above) — also, he’d have a much better excuse for happening in on the action than anyone else.

    (4) Warren the helicopter guy, just because that would be so much more sexy than having Anthony do it.

    (5) Michael, to make up for all those Lizardbreath comments

    (6) In fact, just about anyone except Anthony.

    BTW, although Anthony clearly wants Liz, Liz has never seemed that into Anthony, even when they were dating. My prediction is that this event will trigger the end of Anthony’s marriage but he will not end up with Liz.

  73. Action Guy
    August 12th, 2005 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    I don’t get some of the comics y’all talk about in my paper (Mary Worth, Gil Thorpe, Apt 3G, etc) so I looked them up online. I went to the Kings Syndicate website, and checked out some more they had on there. A couple of them are ok, but I found that most of them really suck! Why do we as a society allow this to happen? Maybe I should come up with a lame ass comic, and sell it to get rich. What ever happened to Bloom County, Far Side and Calvin and Hobbes? Thank GOD for Get Fuzzy!

  74. Sheila
    August 12th, 2005 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    Surely April is going to wind up with April’s creepy stalker? Old Lynn has bent over backwards to show that he’s just a victim of a dreadful home life — not to mention that hanging-around-being-a-royal-pain-in-the-ass is the prepubescent boy’s way of showing he cares. Whaddaya bet April redeems him?

  75. Irina
    August 12th, 2005 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    lol #74 … I had that one pegged about 8 years ago after little Apwil was the only visitor Jeremy Jones got in the hospital after he got tagged by the car.

  76. DCBirdblaster
    August 12th, 2005 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Yes, let’s hear it for Get Fuzzy!! Still the only truely humorous comic left. I know thats a very relative and subjective term, but I’m not here to debate semantics.
    My personal favorites:
    Get Fuzzy – Great art, smart humor.
    Monty – Sometimes funny, good use of satire and parody.
    Dilbert – I can relate well.
    FBOFW – Good artwork, Predictable storyline, good characters.
    9 Chickweed Lane – Damn Edda’s Hot!
    Pibgorn – Wierd storyline, great artwork.

  77. Sheila
    August 12th, 2005 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    How about the Piranha Club? I think it’s brilliant.

  78. DCBirdblaster
    August 12th, 2005 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    Piranha Club? I’ll have to watch this one a while. The archive was worth a few short guffaws, and a certain level of ludicrousness. That’s more than I can say about most other comics. Thanks for the tip.

  79. Maughta
    August 12th, 2005 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    I think the best new comic strips out there right now are Candorville and K Chronicles. The former features some of the best artwork by a newbie, and the latter is often laugh-out-loud funny. Get Fuzzy, I’m a little hesitant to say, may have reached its peak. It’s still one of the best out there, but it’s not as good as it was a few years ago. I still love the simplicity and beauty of the artwork in Mutts, too.

    Just my two cents.

  80. JK
    August 12th, 2005 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    Bizzaro and Brewster Rockit: Space Guy! are about the only strips that make me laugh on a consistent basis.

  81. Moesy
    August 12th, 2005 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    I’m getting a wierd “The Whole Nine Yards” feeling from FBOFW lately. There’s a dentist, a nasty French Canadian wife, all they’re missing is an American hit man for Liz to fall in love with & everything will be perfect.

  82. Islamorada Girl
    August 12th, 2005 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    Hey, Mt. Foob!
    We want our investment of time and energy back!

    The Readers

  83. Chris
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    Gotta go with Pearls Before Swine! Definitely funny today.

  84. yellojkt
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    See Anne, somebody does like the crocs.

  85. Speed Racer X
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    And for the record, Ritazilla now looks the part. Check out the “jesus lizard” fro she’s sporting, is that not the creepiest thing or what? Apparently it IS dangerous in the women’s shelter, Rita looks like a strung out crack whore and she’s only been in the place…what, half a day? She hasn’t even unpacked yet!

    ..or, as usual, maybe the artist just sucks….

  86. Anne Nonymous
    August 12th, 2005 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    Death to the crocs, I say! Oh, sweet, sweet death……

  87. Jimmy
    August 12th, 2005 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    QUESTION for you all… does anyone remember a one-panel strip about a nun? It was called Sister Susie. Probably from the mid- to late-60s…

  88. PizzaBagel
    August 12th, 2005 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

    Re comment #29 by Sheila (P.S. Why on earth don’t they put Marmaduke down?): Cuz that would mean the end of cartoonist Brad Anderson’s Gravy Train™.

    BTW: I notice that Anderson now shares the credit for this strip. Is the first name Paula? Presumably he’s grooming somebody – one of his kids? – as a successor. Gosh help us all!

  89. PizzaBagel
    August 12th, 2005 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    Re comment #51 by Snorty Laugh Girl (… And what did happen to helicopter guy? I miss him…(lustful sigh)): Helicopter Guy will show up at the last minute at the wedding of Liz and Anthony and pull a Benjamin Braddock. “Elizabeth!!!” Before the minister pronounces the marriage official, Liz will run to the back of the church, and the two will fly off to Mxyzpltk and live happily ever after. End of strip. Cue the credits and the Simon and Garfunkel soundtrack.

  90. PizzaBagel
    August 12th, 2005 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    Re Brent McKee’s comment (#55) on the Willy & Ethel strip: (… She gave him the card and will punch it every time he tells a lie, but she’s the one who gets the reward (leaving him) when it’s filled out. … He’ll lose the card, she’ll have to issue another one and she’ll never get her reward.): I totally agree with you. But if that’s the case, shouldn’t she be holding the card? I’m just askin’.

  91. no tea
    August 12th, 2005 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    I didn’t understand the latest family circus, in which billy or jeffy (one of the kids anyway) is standing up in the ocean holding up a bathing suit that can’t possibly be his, as it is about ten sizes to small. He shouts “MOMMY!”, and over the swell of a wave you can just see 2 heads in the distance emmitting high-velocity shock droplets.

  92. Lydia
    August 12th, 2005 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    Brewster Rockit: Space Guy! is a pretty humorous strip most of the time, in a giggly way.

    Candorville is just ass. It’s one of the least funny comics I’ve ever read, and the art seems like 3 different poses for the characters most of the time: Leaning against roof wall edge, standing on a corner waiting for the bus, or sitting on a bench. Niiiiiiiiiice.

  93. ikkt!
    August 13th, 2005 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    #73 Action Guy – if you do find some you want to follow (or get sucked in to the serials by Josh’s sporadic commentary like so many poor souls – “so you don’t have to”, yeah, right) I highly recommend the build your own comics page feature at chron.com. Doesn’t work well for Sundays, but great the rest of the week.
    http://www.chron.com/content/chronicle/comics/archive/byocp.mpl

  94. Anonymous
    August 13th, 2005 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: It looks to me from 8/12′s panel one that if Anthony is going to be leaving his wife for anyone, it’ll be Howard. Ride ‘em, cowboy!

  95. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    August 13th, 2005 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    No Tea (91):

    A good observation.
    Maybe Jeffy has drowned PJ.

  96. Frank Drackman
    August 13th, 2005 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    I think Thels gettin ‘busy’ with the owner of the swim trunks..some drunk punk down on spring break(wrong time of yr i know)and Jeffy is confused at the whole scene…resutling in his scarring for life..

  97. Dingo
    August 13th, 2005 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Okay, with today’s FBoFW, Liz and Anthony are in an ‘innocent’ embrace. Now is the time for them to be caught either by Therese (shades of India Wilkes in Gone With the Wind) or by a returning Lawrence, who will fire both their asses for their on-site ‘indiscretion’.

    Nah, I actually think this’ll be like all the rest of FBoFW and end with this day’s installment. How long did it take for the Kortney and the shop series to run its course?

  98. Dingo
    August 13th, 2005 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Yes, you can use HTML code within this postings!

  99. yellojkt
    August 13th, 2005 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    You can use some HTML in here, but not others. And sometimes it works great in preview and looks like crap a mess in the post, with now way of fixing it.
    In the forum you have to used BBcode which is like HTML, but with brackets “[]“.
    Make sure you proofread.

  100. yellojkt
    August 13th, 2005 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Another 100 comment post.
    And the last post was supposed to have big text, red text, and underlined text. All of which looked great in previews.

  101. Brian J
    August 13th, 2005 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    I have a theory:

    The increase in Foobian villans will soon lead to the unveiling of … THE UNITED LEAGUE OF PATTERSON HATERS. Meeting at their ice fortress deep in the Yukon Territory, this group of cold-hearted people is comprised of all the people who’ve made the Patterson family’s life miserable lo these many years — Therese, Howard the Rapist, the dude Liz dated in college who cheated on her, Deanna’s mom, Kourtney, Becky, Mike and Deanna’s neighbors, Jeremy, and so forth (Sally Forth? NOOOOOOO!). They conspire against our loveable Canadian family, you see, because the Pattersons aren’t what they seem. They’re UNDERCOVER AGENTS WORKING FOR THE ROYAL CANADIAN MOUNTED POLICE AND TIM HORTON’S TO SAFEGUARD THE GREAT CANADA NATION AGAINST INSURGENTS! Insurgents like the United League of Patterson Haters, funded by … TOBACCO MONEY FROM AMERICAN REPUBLICANS! Dick Cheney speaks to them on a TV shaped like an Jeep Grand Cherokee while Canadian flags burn with maple tree logs in the fireplace. The strip then turns into a spy serial, showing us all the harrowing adventures our Pattersons go on now that Lynn has revealed their true identities. Can the Pattersons save Nova Scotia from being sold to America and becoming Northeast Maine? Will Mike be able to finish the story on oil interests trying to devalue the loonie? And who’s the double-agent in the Patterson household funnelling the League secret information? TUNE IN TOMORROW!!!!!!!111

    Alternate explanation: Lynn watches too much Degrassi: The Next Generation.

  102. Chris
    August 13th, 2005 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    #101 I’m sorry, but are you saying that the people who have made the Pattersons miserable are the true heroes of the strip? That’s taking a little bit too far.

  103. Dennis Jimenez
    August 13th, 2005 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    FBOFW – 8.13.2005 – Q – OK, just whose hand is that on Lizzy’s ti.., er breast, in panel 2?

    Gee, I’m sorry if I offended the dignity of the blog – yeah, fat chance of that!

    Just don’t get me started on the impending Brandy full body heat compress in Liberty Meadows….

  104. Dingo
    August 13th, 2005 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    Re: 103 Liz is, shall we say, juicing the lemon with the traditional right hand/left breast combination. Why else is she scaring Anthony? Because of her complete stupidity?

    I also think I’ve found the reason for Therese’ disdain of her husband. Look at panel 4. He has a right buttock that’s pert and cute… a bubble cheek. The left, however, is droopy and saggy. Therese is an “ass man.” Who wants a husband whose ass is as wishy-washy as his moral rectitude?

  105. laska
    August 13th, 2005 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    On Judge Parker- Is Segundo a guy or a girl? I came in late to this storyline, and I always assumed it was a guy, but the necklace and earring threw me today.

  106. Islamorada Girl
    August 13th, 2005 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Is it possible to go too far where Mt. Foob is concerned? Nah.

  107. Islamorada Girl
    August 13th, 2005 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Is it possible to go too far where Mt. Foob is concerned? Nah.

  108. Nom du Jour
    August 13th, 2005 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    The morale of the FBOFW story arc is that Anthony had nothing in his life worth fighting for.

    What a no backboned chump.

    He can’t stand up for himself or his child, but he will stand up for Liz, cause she is full of good.

    Well, DUH!!!!, she is a Saint Patterson after all.

    What a foob.

  109. Renna
    August 13th, 2005 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    Who is watching the baby?

    And I got here by googling “Mock Rex Morgan.”

    And y’all were. Mocking him.

  110. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    August 13th, 2005 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    Who, indeed?

    For that matter, what’s Anthony doing hanging around the landscape store? Stalking Liz, that’s what.

  111. Anonymous
    August 14th, 2005 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    It’s not stalking if it’s true love! Or if the stalker’s a good guy.

  112. Lisa
    August 14th, 2005 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    I too am riveted by the goings-on at Mt Foob (fer gosh sakes’ – CALL THE POLICE), but upon reading Sunday’s Luann, it occurs to me (and not for the first time):

    As a gainfully employed firefighter, why doesn’t Brad get his own place? Dirk may be a jerk, but I bet he doesn’t live with his mom and dad. I am sure Toni would agree.

  113. Chris
    August 14th, 2005 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Apt. 3-G – ooh, isn’t she the blond, perky activist?

  114. Chris
    August 14th, 2005 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Blondie – Well, if you knew it was wrong, Dagwood, why even suggest it? You’ve known your idiot boss for 75 years! Time to wise up!

  115. Chris
    August 14th, 2005 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Funky Winkerbean – you know, you’d think that for a once they would get to the explosion already today. After all, it is Sunday, it’ll be in color! Looks like it’ll be another week, folks. Let’s see, that would make it three weeks already?

  116. Frank Drackman
    August 14th, 2005 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Sundays Family Circus..Jeffys sand castle looks like the Alien seeds from the first “Alien” movie ready to spring forward and latch onto Jeffys face,before later hatching through his stomach and abdominal wall to the outside.

  117. 2fs
    August 14th, 2005 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Uh-oh…Sunday’s FBOFW’s gonna bring out the fanatics who see child po-rn everywhere…

  118. Adam-12
    August 14th, 2005 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    As a gainfully employed firefighter, why doesn’t Brad get his own place? Dirk may be a jerk, but I bet he doesn’t live with his mom and dad. I am sure Toni would agree.

    In his defense, I don’t know what town Brad works for, but if it’s like many other public safety agencies he’s probably not making very much being a “rookie” and all (especially if it’s a smaller city). Hell, even many cops and firefighters in New York and Los Angeles don’t make much compared to the cost of living (and they generally start around $40,000 or $50,000).

    It’s a sad commentary on our society when the people charged with protecting our lives and teaching our children aren’t paid enough to support their own families or sometimes even afford to live in the city they serve.

  119. yellojkt
    August 14th, 2005 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    2fs,
    Aren’t the Canadian porn laws much stricter than US laws? No 1st Amendment and everything. I read stories about all sorts of things that can be bought in any convience store in the US being “confiscated” at the border?

    The irony of them now sending their comic kiddie porn down here.

  120. Topliff
    August 14th, 2005 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    Getting back to Willy ‘n Ethel, the clue to the humor comes in the comment “That’s terrible”. If he means it, then Willy is concerned that if it was a pizza card, he would fill it quickly and Ethel would be gone much quicker than she will be gone waiting for a dozen lies.

  121. Joe D.
    August 14th, 2005 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    I am so going to clip out Sunday’s Family Circus and post it on the fridge. Normally I hate that comic. This one, though, is pure comic gold. Seeing Jeffy wallow in his own self-pity is so much better than reading some of Dolly’s “cute” mispronunciations or following Billy’s inefficient routes to school. Jeff Keane, you’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. It’s too bad your father had already built such a sorry reputation for the comic that most people can claim to have taken dumps that were funnier than anything Bil wrote.

  122. no tea
    August 14th, 2005 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    Ahhhh, Jeffy bawling on the beach after being smitten by God. Humor at its finest.

  123. Lisa
    August 14th, 2005 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    hey Adam-12 – no offense was meant, and I applaud the brave men and women who put their lives on the line for the rest of us.

    but…I live in San Francisco with its ridiculously high rents, my salary is in that range, and I don’t live with my parents. I’m just saying.

    As one of the only characters in Luann who’s been permitted to grow and mature, I think it’s time for Brad to grow up. If he’s forced to get a roommate, that could be a way the cartoonist could make a point about our underpaid public servants – firefighters, or even educators (like me).

  124. The Rhino
    August 14th, 2005 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    Joe D. #121 — as I understand it, this whole beach series in FC for the past few days is a rerun from several years ago, and was drawn by Bil rather than Jeff. I don’t like FC, but I do think Bil was a better artist than Jeff is…

  125. Anthony
    August 14th, 2005 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    I agree with #121 and 122. Sunday’s Family Circus was hilarious. First time in a long time that I’ve laughed after reading FC.

    I’m sure I’m not the only one that wishes death and destruction to that family.

  126. sephohnek
    August 15th, 2005 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    Kudos to anthony, number 125. There’s nothing quite as satisfying as watching the innocence of summertime beach play transform into tragic seaside mayhem. Billy, will you ever learn?

  127. Therese who is pissed at that cheater Anthony
    August 15th, 2005 at 6:25 am [Reply]

    Ugh. Lynn is clearly living out her girly fantasy of being “rescued” by her knight in shining armour. Why not give Anthony a frickin’ white horse while we’re at it? And what is the bullshit in this morning’s strip? Anthony agrees he “knocked him out”. um…. looks like he just gagged him to me, unless that was some of that exciting “off camera” action. Like the spit take in Zits a while back.
    Regardless…. I’m less than impressed.

  128. tommy
    August 15th, 2005 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    willy and ethel looks remarkably like mr. boffo, in that the artist who draws these comics obviously never did much to improve on their chosen career paths (art school?). however, mr. boffo is actually funny sometimes. this willy and ethel shit seems to be one of the comics i would regularly read to become enraged, like fc, fbofw, curtis, or any of the soaps, . an anti-comic, if you will. i thank the good lord that the sf chronicle does not run this crap and that josh pulls back the curatin of this monster ever so slightly, so that the small doses help build an immunity to the poisonous rot contianed within.

  129. Smitty Smedlap
    August 15th, 2005 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    What would Rick Reilly do..
    if he was here right now?
    He’d make a plan, and he’d follow through..
    That’s what Rick Reilly’d do!

    Rick Reilly is to Gil Thorp what Anthony is to FBOFW. Our hero! He’s so dreamy…

  130. Nom du Jour
    August 15th, 2005 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    So, Howard was attempting to rape Saint Liz while all the guys were working around the landscaping yard?

    I think not.

    Howard has been keeping tabs on St. Liz for awhile now, so he would know exactly the time and place he could attack her without the chance of getting caught. With the guys running equipment and working around in the yard, the store being open, and the chance of a customer waling in, I don’t think Howard would have risked it.

    Plus, now we get Lawrence (at least I think it is Lawrence, I have been know to mis-identify Fooberverse characters before) saying he wanted to punch out Howard for a long time. Yeah, sure right. That’s why you hired him and kept him employed.

    Snort.

  131. Islamorada Girl
    August 15th, 2005 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Tommy, 128. Willy’n’Ethel and Mr. Boffo are both the works of Joe Martin. And both are bad.

  132. C. Havoc
    August 15th, 2005 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    New reader here…
    Josh! Man, where have you been? Your hit numbers are soaring! Post NOW and keep the masses sedated with the fine opiate that is your daily commentary.

  133. Irina
    August 15th, 2005 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    Naw, the guy who wanted to punch Howard for ages isn’t Lawrence. Lawrence is medium build, darkish complexion with short curly black hair. No glasses.

    He and his partner (partner in more ways than one) had to go off to make a delivery or some other kind of buisiness (afternoon delight?) earlier in the day — so check for untucked shirttails and mismatched buttons when they return!

    The fellow your talking about bears a passing resemblance to Gordon, who was Michaels *other* best friend from childhood, who has built a small commercial empire in Foobville, all from a little gas station. Anthony works for him.

  134. Puttin' the "Ape" in Rape
    August 15th, 2005 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    I think Nom de Jour has put WAY too much thought into planning how and when he’d jump Liz’s bones……

  135. Nom du Jour
    August 15th, 2005 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    nah, I just like arcs that are believable not just contrivances.

    I don’t know why they publish FBOFW in color on the web, it is so Black and White all the time.

  136. sally
    August 15th, 2005 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    The two guys talking to Anthony and Liz are both wearing the orange shirts belonging to Lawrence-and-partner’s business, but are not Lawrence or partner. I think they are just other guys who work there (and, therefore, work with Howard) and hate him because he’s a jerk. Neither of them is Gordon.

    Still unanswered: what the heck was Anthony doing there in the first place? and who’s watching the baby? Maybe she is hanging out with Sarah Morgan in Unattended Under-Three Land.

  137. Irina
    August 15th, 2005 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    In qualified defense of the “where’s the baby” conundrum, remember that Anthony is a local (HS BF of Liz), which means his parents are probably still around.

    Even though it’s been pretty well established that Therese is a bitch on wheels, there’s no evidence that Anthony’s parents aren’t … well … normal. Maybe the baby’s with them, to give Anthony some well-deserved stalking time.

    Either that, or maybe the little bundle of joy is slowly expiring of heat exhaustion inside of Anthony’s locked car in the parking lot.

  138. Nom du Jour
    August 15th, 2005 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    Please, unless Anthony’s parents are the Saint Pattersons, they are evil, manipulative, insensitive, noisy, money hungry, creeps.

    Unless you are a Patterson, you need not apply.

  139. Bob14737
    August 15th, 2005 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    #61, Adouble, the Thorp archives (unfortunately only the first Berrill strips and then starting with the Dark Ages when Jenkins took over) are at http://chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports/custom/gilthorp/ . May God have mercy on your soul.

    Join us in The Bucket afterwards. You’ll have to declare whether Marty Moon is Legendary or not, and no Thorp minions are allowed.

  140. Reswob
    August 15th, 2005 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    Hunh. To digress to Luann, we should wonder what was the point of the Hawaii trip if only to introduce a pointless story line about her visiting Aaron. Now today (8/15) he calls her at the airport just before she gets on the plane. For what? So he can profess that she is the true love of his life and plead with her to stay (a la Rachel and what’s his name from friends) (no I didn’t watch the show) and then she’ll abandon her mother and her school, run off with Aaron, get married and live with him happily ever after in paradise?

    I don’t see THAT happening…

  141. PizzaBagel
    August 15th, 2005 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    “Naw, the guy who wanted to punch Howard for ages isn’t Lawrence. Lawrence is medium build, darkish complexion with short curly black hair. No glasses.

    He and his partner (partner in more ways than one) had to go off to make a delivery or some other kind of buisiness (afternoon delight?) earlier in the day – so check for untucked shirttails and mismatched buttons when they return! …” (Comment #133)

    “… Either that, or maybe the little bundle of joy is slowly expiring of heat exhaustion inside of Anthony’s locked car in the parking lot.” (Comment #137)

    Irina, two excellent observations regarding the Foobiverse – and not the first great comments you’ve offerred here on a variety of topics. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t recall seeing any posts from you at the forum. I don’t blame you for not registering there for fear of killing a lot more valuable time. But kudos to you for your always-insightful remarks here on the main CC site!

  142. barrett
    August 15th, 2005 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Heathcliff today (Monday) – Is that the Zombie Lincoln Memorial?

  143. Frank Drackman
    August 15th, 2005 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    Good timing for the “comics i just don’t get”..whats the point of mondays “get fuzzy”?? is it just funny and cute that bucky is sinking his claws into flesh ? or is there a deeper meaning?

  144. Dingo
    August 15th, 2005 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    Y’know, I had a brain fart that lasted since Saturday. I completely forgot that Anthony works for GORDON, not Lawrence!

    Lynn works in mysterious ways. Gordo is Spanish for fat and Gordon is a little butterball of a man with a fat wallet. Lawrence is gay – just like Lawrence of Arabia! Perhaps Anthony was at the landscapers because it was Wednesday, a day that on the lower east side of Boston is Prince spaghetti day. Liz has spaghetti-esque hair.

    If you mix your medications right, it all makes sense.

  145. Sheila
    August 15th, 2005 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    Comment #127, “Ugh. Lynn is clearly living out her girly fantasy of being ‘rescued’ by her knight in shining armour. Why not give Anthony a frickin’ white horse while we’re at it?”

    Who remembers a storyline from waaaay back when Mike was in high school, where a “popular” girl got drunk at a HS dance and her shallow BF ditched her while she was throwing up behind the school… and some dweeb (was it the youthful Gordon? one of Mike’s friends, anyway) picked her up and saw her home, and walked back to school in the dark, having that very fantasy of himself as a knight on a white horse saving the distressed damsel. Clearly, it’s a scenario that speaks to Lynn!

    “And what is the bullshit in this morning’s strip? Anthony agrees he ‘knocked him out’. um…. looks like he just gagged him to me, unless that was some of that exciting ‘off camera’ action.”

    For the record, it was “punched him out”, not “knocked him out”. In other words, not a TKO :-)

  146. yellojkt
    August 15th, 2005 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Frank “not the Fencepost One” Drackman said:

    Good timing for the “comics i just don’t get”..whats the point of mondays “get fuzzy”?? is it just funny and cute that bucky is sinking his claws into flesh ? or is there a deeper meaning?

    It’s secret comic artist swap day and Brain Crane of Pickles is substituting for Darby. Vicious-cat-on-lap jokes are his stock in trade.

  147. DCBirdblaster
    August 15th, 2005 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    No no no. If you’ve followed Get Fuzzy, you know that Bucky has always fanticized about eating a monkey. He has also made the connection that humans are just big hairless monkeys and has now attacked the unsuspecting Rob to attempt a taste test.

    That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  148. dimestore lipstick
    August 15th, 2005 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    Regarding the 8/15 Get Fuzzy–
    I thought Rob was having a mental freak-out because Bucky came up and hugged him. My reaction was Uh-oh. What did Buck do now?

  149. Rah
    August 15th, 2005 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    I shall show you how a british mind is capable of ointing out simple facts.

    In the first stip, he is implying that his wife is a hooker and making a big deal of the fact he gets free car sex.

    The pizza punch card “gag” is showing how a single person is incapable of running any kind of eating/take-away establishment, and that while trying to organise the financial sides the pizzas would all become burnt and late to customers. For some reason this relates to the card.

    And Marmaduke wise, his owner is just showing how being human he has a much better understanding of the other life forms that surround him and is mocking the dog for it’s idiocy.

    WIN!!

  150. Chris The Partypooper
    August 15th, 2005 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    GUYS!!! GUYS!!! GUYS!!!! Enough with the jokes already about “Get Fuzzy”!

    LThey are reprinting this cartoon from 2002 because Darby is on vacation for two weeks. They do that with every UFS artist. It will continue tomorrow, but because you don’t really care what’s going on, I ain’t tellin’ you what’s going to happen.

    So nanny-nanny-boo-boo.

  151. Joe D.
    August 15th, 2005 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    Rhino, #124, you’re right. Upon a second look, Jeff hasn’t autographed that strip. Just Bil. Kudos to you for calling me out as being a liar. Either way, FC still sucks other than this lone strip.

  152. Irina
    August 15th, 2005 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    Always was a sucker for flattery.

    Thanks for the kind words, Pizzabagel. I’d avoided the forums out of job preservation.

    I’ve joined now. Just for you.

    Or, conversely, it’s all your fault.

  153. PizzaBagel
    August 15th, 2005 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    Glad to see that I have some influence here, albeit a negative one!

  154. Lor
    August 15th, 2005 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    Dingo, I think a meds adjustment is in order. LOL!

  155. Lor
    August 15th, 2005 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    Rah, I concur that only a british mind is capable of ointing out.

  156. Ron
    August 15th, 2005 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    So, when you get around to mentioning the Foob stupidity, be sure to mention that the big response around the office to Liz’s nearly being raped is to give her the afternoon off and tell Lawrence what happened–but not to call the cops. And that Liz’s big reaction is to make sure Anthony gets his gardening tools.

    God, Rick Reilly needs to get in there and speak some truth to power or something.

  157. yellojkt
    August 16th, 2005 at 6:31 am [Reply]

    Oh Anthony’s gonna get his gardening tools alright. Is that what the kids are calling it in Canada these days? Just yesterday, it was “roadside”.

    More gardening tools, mule.

  158. Nom du Jour
    August 16th, 2005 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    All Anthony came in for was the hoe.

  159. yellojkt
    August 16th, 2005 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    All Anthony came in for was the hoe.

    Spew Of The Day(r).

  160. DCBirdblaster
    August 16th, 2005 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    Wow, I’ve never seen Josh gone for this long before. He must be on a hot project or started a second/third job. How about we try to make his life a little easier?

    I’m going to go hit the donation button further on up and give Josh a long overdue gratuity for maintaining this site. How much do you tip a webhost? Hmmm. I usually throw down $20-30 for a night out at the strip club, and I figure a month of reading this site gives you just as much entertainment as one night at the strip club… Of course I don’t leave this site utterly inebriated… ah hell everyone! $10 for Josh. Go on, you can afford it! Just go hit the donate button and do it. Josh will love us for it.

    I hope I didn’t just cheapen the experience here…

  161. dimestore lipstick
    August 16th, 2005 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Who buys gardening tools in August, anyway? (Well, a leaf rake, maybe.) It was the flimsiest of pretexts, and I’m glad Anthony has abandoned the pretense. I’m not so glad, however, that he is about to lay a serious come-on on Liz. Immediately after she’s been sexually assaulted.

  162. Lor
    August 16th, 2005 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    That would be impossible, DC.

  163. Anne Nonymous
    August 16th, 2005 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Oh, Josh has been gone this long and longer before, DC. I believe our record for number of posts in one thread (before the establishment of the Discussion Forum next door) was well over “The Number of the Beast.” At that time, we annointed ourselves the Comix Cardinals and almost staged a revolution to depose Pope Josh.

  164. Nom du Jour
    August 16th, 2005 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    In the pre-forum days, when all we had was the comment section, you know way back two months ago, the comments soared to some serious numbers.

    And Josh then took all those comments and tossed them into the trash, along with all our hopes, dreams, witticisms, bad puns, etc etc etc… nearly leading to a Cardinal Coup.

    But now, we have the forums to frolic in and the coup was prevented.

  165. DCBirdblaster
    August 16th, 2005 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Even so, Josh has been pretty nice to us, so I figured I should be nice to him, and maybe influence a few others to increase their niceosity through generousness.

    I signed up for the forums about a month ago, but I never received an activation link. Just tried it again, but it wouldn’t let me have my Nom de Plume. So, I chose another Upgamehntr.

  166. Maughta
    August 16th, 2005 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    Did anyone notice the little chickie-poo that Curtis was talking to disappeared in the final panel? Did aliens finally visit Curtis (and why, oh why, didn’t the take the little bratty Barry for some serious probing?!?)?

  167. Moesy
    August 16th, 2005 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    DCB – You throw down a whole $20-30 for an evening at a strip club & leave “utterly inebriated?” Where are you going? Any club I’ve ever gone to costs $10 to get in the door & at least $5 for a drink. You must be a lightweight.

  168. yellojkt
    August 16th, 2005 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    Year ago, down if Ft Lauderdale, some coworkers decided to hit the Platinum Club after a Tool concert. They arrived with $50 and the two of them left 20 minutes later broke and sober.

  169. rich24
    August 16th, 2005 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    In today’s Mary Worth: Uh-oh, a drink order – has Rita finally learned her lesson, after getting her hair mussed up and spending a scary 2 hours at the Fallen Women’s Shelter? Bet we find out tomorrow!

    “Beyond this door is major temptation in a sea of libation” (Who writes her dialogue – Jesse Jackson??)

  170. RBF
    August 16th, 2005 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Good one,rich – or maybe Jerry Falwell?

    Meddlin’s stupidity aside in taking Ritzilla to a restaurant that serves booze, I wonder why the first thing Rita thinks of is the “sea of libation”. Surely she worked up one hell of an appetite during those harrowing 2 scary hours in the skids.

  171. RBF
    August 16th, 2005 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    And over in today’s RMMD, Combover Guy is playing all sorry to Pusboy, but he brought along THE BONE CRUSHER ? I guess none of the geniuses in this strip ever considered reporting the beating to Only Cop.

  172. rich24
    August 16th, 2005 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    After the deliciously slow, summer-long, Douglas Sirk melodrama that was “The Swans”, I’ll be pretty disappointed if Ritzilla’s saga gets resolved this quickly. All the previous acts of kindness made no impression on her, nor did the way she loutishly trampled on her hostess’s hospitality, time and again. Now she spends one sleepless night at the Abu Ghraib Women’s Shelter, surrounded by poor white women with face bandages, Mary comes to get her in the morning…and she’s suddenly ready for polite company?

    “No thanks, waiter, no drinks for THIS gal! The faith and trust of my grayhaired friend has wiped those demons from my soul! Depression – gone! Alcoholism – OVER! An Old Granddad for my friend – and club soda for me!”

  173. DCBirdblaster
    August 16th, 2005 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    The $20-$30 is just G string money. Another $10-$20 in cover charge, and $60 for booze for me and others.

    Rum & Coke, Margarita, and a couple of Guinness and I’m pretty blitzed. Lightweight? yeah ok I can live with that title.

  174. Moesy
    August 16th, 2005 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    ok, I’ll go with those figures…Of course, as a female, I don’t have to worry about much beyond the cover charge, & if the right person is working the door…well, never mind.

  175. PizzaBagel
    August 16th, 2005 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Re Nom du Jour’s comment #164 (“In the pre-forum days, when all we had was the comment section, you know way back two months ago, the comments soared to some serious numbers.

    And Josh then took all those comments and tossed them into the trash, along with all our hopes, dreams, witticisms, bad puns, etc etc etc… nearly leading to a Cardinal Coup.

    But now, we have the forums to frolic in and the coup was prevented.“):

    Josh did no such thing with the introduction of the forums. The comments are still around. Check out “older posts” along the left of the main CC page, right under “pick a comic” for, um, older posts. Access the month of interest, then click on the comments link of the appropriate Josh-post. I do seem to recall that Josh mentioned that our comments on the forums have only a limited shelf-life. Did I imagine that one?

  176. Moesy
    August 17th, 2005 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    I think what Nom du Jour was referring to was the 600+ post where Josh admitted to not reading some of our posts & just trashing them. They still got posted, just not read by our fearless leader

  177. King Folderol
    November 4th, 2005 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    I feel bad for Loretta, because she’s trapped not only in her marriage, but in a consumer society that does nothing but disappoint. Every new hairstyle, every new outfit fails to bring her the peace and tranquility that she hopes for. Leroy was nothing more than another big ticket item that she thought would bring her closer to some sort of nirvana, but instead she’s only found more of the emptiness that has haunted her since her adolesence, when the happy peals of childhood laughter were replaced with the greater burdens and concerns of adolescence. Even if Loretta had Brad Pitt and a fillion dollars, it wouldn’t be enough, the monkey would never be sated. Leroy isn’t happy, but he kind of accepts life for the empty tableau that he sees it as and tries to make the best of it, usually at parties where young bimbos are around. Nothing Loretta does ever makes her happy and nothing ever will.

  178. Sirat
    March 31st, 2006 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    The joke is the surprise that even a mundane decandant thing like a bug can give joy to a dog…or when you having fun(like going for a walk) even a bug is purpose enough to make the the moment linger more….like kids with parents???

  179. katie
    March 21st, 2007 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    i love comics and my crush makes them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  180. Marriage Counseling
    July 15th, 2009 at 3:00 am [Reply]

    Love your comics. Great site. Keep up the good work!

  181. gnbman
    June 3rd, 2013 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Very late comment:

    That isn’t a crooked smile on Leroy; it’s supposed to imply a mustache. However, the fact that you thought it indicated drunkenness only proves the fact that he needs beer to be happy.

  182. ZeftHarabab
    August 20th, 2013 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Rome (CNN) — Italy’s high court has upheld a prison sentence for former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in a tax fraud case.

    The court Thursday said it supported a lower court’s four-year prison sentence for Berlusconi.

    Three years of that sentence are covered in an amnesty aimed at cutting down on prison overcrowding, effectively reducing Berlusconi’s sentence to one year.

    The high court also ordered a lower court to reconsider whether Berlusconi, 76, should be banned from public office — a controversial issue that could play a key role in the country’s political future.

    A lower court convicted Berlusconi of tax evasion last October, sentencing him to four years in prison and barring him from public office for five years. In May, an Italian appeals court in Milan upheld that decision.

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