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Bobbie’s little helper

Apartment 3-G, 11/12/09

Dr. Pappagoras is cheerfully pressing on with his campaign to win the Most Unethical Therapist statuette at this years Psychie Awards! Most head-shrinkers I know (and I was raised by several) do not consider it a “nice surprise” when their goofball-addled patients show up at their office without an appointment and with some bullshit story about, you know, just being in the neighborhood, just wandering around the block seven or forty times in the rain and thinking about pills pills pills PILLS PILLS PILLS. I was originally going to come up with some joke here about transference and countertransference, but then I realized that strictly speaking those phenomena only arise in the course of actual patient/therapist relationships, and not in drug-seeker/quack-doctor-who-wants-to-bone-drug-seeker relationships.

Pluggers, 11/12/09

Speaking of pills, it’s nice to see that pluggers aren’t waiting for some government bailout to pull them out of their tough economic times. Police looking for the distributors bringing insane amounts of black-market oxycodone into the county will never suspect the simple, down-home chicken lady!

Dennis the Menace, 11/12/09

“Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” –Matthew 5:38-44

So, apparently Dennis has been sent to Earth by his Father to teach us about peace, and then die for our sins. This … this is not very menacing at all.

138 responses to “Bobbie’s little helper”

  1. Sister Sestina
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    I’m not up on my scripture, but does it not somewhere say that forgiving your enemies is like heaping coals of fire upon their heads? That certainly would explain Mr. Wilson’s expression.

  2. Mackenzie
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    Is this not the most depressing Pluggers ever?

    Reading that is like getting hit in the face.

  3. Esther Blodgett
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    DtM: Ha ha! I say the same thing sometimes to my Beloved Spouse, and he gets the same look as Mr. Wilson! Look out, Dennis, you’re either going to get a spanking or a long night of cold silence. I know which one I usually prefer.

  4. Uncle Lumpy
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, I miss Old Testament Dennis, what with all the smitin’ an’ all.

  5. Sister Sestina
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    Proverbs 25:21-22.
    25:21 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:
    25:22 For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

    Romans 12:19-20.
    12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
    12:20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

    Shoulda googled before posting. I just remembered the gist of it from an anecdote about a tribal chieftain coming across such a passage in the Bible the missionary was foisting upon him and thinking, hey, that’s suggests a really good torture technique.

  6. indrifan
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    MC I laughed, and felt a little ill. I really hope that tomorrow we don’t see the next couple of steps in the wonderful cycle of pet behavior.

    DM We can only hope for the “die for our sins” part. Heck, I’d even settle for keeping my sins.

  7. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    Police … will never suspect the simple, down-home chicken lady!

    They never suspect chickens and rabbits of wrongdoing. It’s always cats and rats. Mwahaha!

  8. Rainbird
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    With Apartment 3G, we never see Bobbie using the drugs, just getting them from the good doctor. Perhaps she is selling them to Chicken Lady. A vast conspiracy.

  9. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    @Mackenzie #2: Why is Crankshaft wearing a fursuit?

  10. ArtisticPlatypus
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Those things below mr.Wilson’s nose.. Is that a pair of nose hairs, a depressingly small and limp mustache, or the outline of a terribly deformed lower lip?

  11. ArtisticPlatypus
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Oh, and why does he have gills?

  12. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    Dennis of Seattle will be betrayed to the Romans when Joey kisses him for a shiny new quarter.

  13. queek
    November 12th, 2009 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    12 Mr Wilson usually gave him dimes. . . .

  14. One-eyed Wolfdog
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    I think the most depressing Pluggers ever was the one with the (dog? bear?) guy pawning his saxophone so he could afford to eat.

  15. Nekrotzar
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    So the actual name of the comic is now ‘Dennis the Messiah’? And next week, Cathy renounces her materialistic ways and founds Jainism. After that Marvin is revealed to be an Avatar of Vishnu.Of course we already know that Margo is Wotan.

  16. Écureuil Écumant
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @5 Sister Sestina: Sister, thou dost fulfill most amply thy name. However, the modern version of that verse is:

    25:22 For thou shalt heap cauldrons of chili upon his weenie, and the LORD shall reward thee.

  17. Perky Bird
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    If the Plugger chicken lady is travelling by air, she certainly won’t fill a second suitcase with her pills. She knows most airlines charge a fee for even one checked bag. No, our thrifty Plugger friend will instead avoid those pesky checked-bag fees by transporting her entire supply of medications in her rectum (cloaca?).

  18. Big Sims
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    DTM
    Mr. Wilson is right to sweat in fear, dirty old pagan that he is! 381 AD long come and gone! Where’re your gods now Wilson?

    #4 Uncle Lumpy
    Bravo! COTW material.

  19. Calico
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    Now, let’s imagine that we hear Ernest Angely reciting all of these Biblical passages.
    Fun for the whole family!
    Heal! Heal! HEEEEAAAALLLL!

    3G – Transference and Countertransference would seem “normal” compared to this weird pill-seeking / mating ritual between Prof and Bobbie.

  20. Dr. Novakaine
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    I dunno, Mr. Wilson looks pretty menaced. Maybe because he thinks Dennis is the second coming, and thus the Rapture is upon him, and being a grump towards Dennis his whole life has earned him a spot in the eternal fires of Hell. Man, I think Dennis just hit peak menace.

  21. Little A and his Verkokte Magic Ball
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Has anybody come up with an answer to my question, yet: where can we find out the circulation of various comic strips? I mean, how many strips do they appear in, ecah?

  22. Alan's Addiction
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Is Bobbie’s blatantly melodramatic statement a cry for help, or another bizarre attempt at manipulation? Will Dr. P ever realize that his quasi-mentally-incompetent patient is still much more clever than he? Do we even care about the answers to these questions? No, we’re just reading this lame “Apartment 3G” storyline in the hope that Margo will show up and give Bobbie a damned good verbal thrashing (which might just be what she needs at this point).
    Wow, “Pluggers” is setting a new high point for wild vacations – even at the height of his depravity, Hunter S. Thompson wouldn’t need a second bag just for his stash of pills.
    The thing that really makes today’s “Dennis the Menace” worthwhile is Mr. Wilson’s facial expression. We’re looking at what happens when a mind snaps after years of subtle tortures. Will Mr. W become some sort of serial killer? A rabidly raving lunatic who is eventually committed? Inquiring minds want to know; this is the first promise of genuine menace we’ve seen in this strip, yet.

  23. queek
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    21: Toonopia has some circulation numbers, but I have no idea how current they are.

  24. BigTed
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    So the nutty non-patient keeps showing up at the therapist’s place unannounced, until their lives are enmeshed in an incredibly unhealthy way? I think I saw this movie back when it was called “What About Bobbie?”

  25. Calico
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    #20 – Countermenace=actually awesome menacing results

  26. Poteet
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    MW — It’s a good thing Scott has Jeff, Mary, and Adrian in charge of his recovery. Because otherwise he might need to be seen by, y’know, his own doctor.

  27. Brad the Bold
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    True Fable is not going to like todays Pearls Before Swine.

  28. Calico
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    #26 – What I find confusing and a bit scary is that Dr. Jeff says “We’ll assess his condition more thoroughly in the next couple of days.”

    What about in the interim? Do they just leave him there to check his own stats and fix his own catheter, with only a bottle of Gatorade and a couple of tea biscuits for supper?
    Some hospital.

  29. BigTed
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    I actually kind of like the way Dennis causes Mr. Wilson to go into dark spasms of obsessive loathing, then “forgives” him for it. But “Dennis the Passive-Aggressive Downer” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

  30. babsbybend
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Pappagoras’s time clock is ticking, and no matter how short the visit, he’s going to charge her for an hour, which sort of makes up for the no-show patients. Business is so slow, he no longer has a receptionist.

  31. Shlomo
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Pappagoras is going to win the Most Unethical Therapist award for that look of delight in panel 2 when he says “did you have a bad day”, which translates into happily charging Bobbie for another hour of therapy.

  32. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    I think it would be amusing if Dennis actually turned out to be the anit-Christ, twisting scripture to his own purposes. It could be that this recent spell of lack of menace is just to lull people into accepting him as a global leader in the coming post-rapture world. Mr Wilson is freaking out because he has figured all of this out after reading old Gil Thorp strips and the Left Behind book series.

    But it’s too late, that weird thing below Mr Wilson’s nose is where he already accepted the Mark of the Beast. He denied the Holy Spirit and knows that he cannot be saved. No matter what happens, this is the one unforgivable sin and he will be cast into hell. He knows that if he acts now, he can stop Dennis before it’s too late, but likely lose his life in the process and be damned into a pit of fire. Or he can do nothing and at least enjoy a bit more life before he is doomed to eternal torment. His forehead beads with sweat. What to do? What to do?

  33. Erin
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Maybe the Pluggers’ vacation destination is a tour of Europe’s underground rave scene?

  34. Terry in Silver Spring
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    MW: Adrian said “Yes, and in the brief time we spoke…We said A LIFETIME’S WORTH!”

    So, basically Scott can die right now and Adrian will be happy. She’s loving being the suffering victim, isn’t she? First man, she relishes the attention she gets from falling for a crook. Now, she’s all about being the suffering fiance of a potentially dying man. Boyfriend number three? maybe a terrible scoundrel who finds redemption through Adrian, but dies in plane crash while delivering aid to starving people in a third world country?

  35. Patrick
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson’s expression makes me think that Dennis has “forgive” mixed up with a verb that means “urinated in your coffee cup.”

  36. Baron Bizarre
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    #15 Nekrotzar: Actually, I always thought of Margo as an avatar of the Morrigan…

  37. bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    34 Terry in Silver Spring: “dies in plane crash while delivering aid to starving people in a third world country?”

    So, that would be Drew, her brother? I guess we all knew we were headed in that direction anyway….

  38. Joe Blevins
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    P: Apparently, Hunter S. Thompson was the ultimate plugger.

    DTM: I continue to believe that Dennis’ menacing has simply gone in a subtly brilliant direction. I mean, just look at the reaction he’s getting from Mr. Wilson! This is A+ menacing!

  39. Niall
    November 12th, 2009 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Josh: wow, are things in the US so bad that police are making sure drugs don’t cross county lines now?? (Okay, maybe Pringe George County, or Ann Arundel Country, if things are worse than last time I was in those neighbourhoods…)

    Y32. bourbon babe, unbuckled: You should check out a few genre conventions, that happens with some regularity (though usually between friends, but women usually don’t have too much trouble asking to be next when seeing it happening). I’ve been to cons where a massage table was int eh dealers room, and oh, she made good business.

    Also bourbon babe: “Bold, by Elrod” is a keeper. But I think the winner is Chyron HR’s “Writing by Batiuk”.

    Y216. CHattyGenes: a whole family of overers here. And living alone, I have to replace the empty roll… though I know some who don’t. It’s an ugly bathroom.

    Y252. Écureuil Écumant: …that was a neat trick!! How did you do it?

  40. tymime
    November 12th, 2009 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    I think today’s Dennis actually partially explains why so many people hate Christians. We can be pretty self-righteous- and this is a confession from me, as I myself am a Christian…

  41. bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
    November 12th, 2009 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    39 Niall: Thanks, but I realized afterward that I should have written “Bold, by Elrod.” (And yes, I DID dwell on it, in fact!)

  42. Marion Delgado
    November 12th, 2009 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    I think the Classic Plugger in question is an atheist writing in to taunt Pluggerdom.

    Holy leaping demographics, Batman! Where is your God now, O Man of Plug?

  43. Josh
    November 12th, 2009 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    Niall #39 — Well, most law enforcement in the U.S. takes place at the local (often county) level. Local law enforcement generally doesn’t have the resources or jurisdiction to follow the flow of drugs around the country or around the world. But if some innocent-looking chicken-lady is bringing black-market pills into their town, they get interested.

    Josh

  44. MikeP
    November 12th, 2009 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    The terrorists hate us for today’s Luann.

  45. UncleJeff
    November 12th, 2009 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    43 Josh: A couple of years (and one Administration ago) our friendly Chicken Lady would’ve been stopped at the Canadian border with her valise full of Lipitor, Cialis etc etc.
    They call it “species profiling”.

    DTM: Poor ol’ Mr. Wilson looks like he’s stroking out. Check that bulging eyeball! Good job, Dennis!

    I was touring our friend Ces’s “Medium Large” yesterday and found a great Peanuts parody with Linus in his “Charlie Brown Christmas” monologue, only with the words of the Gospel replaced by the Old Testament passage delivered by Samuel L. Jackson in “Pulp Fiction.”
    I’d like to use that for my Christmas card this year.
    Ces? Can I have your permission?

  46. Calico
    November 12th, 2009 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    #39 – That would be Anne Arundel County, where I was born (at Anne Arundel General Hospital).
    It’s a really beautiful (and now seriously pricey) area, esp. Annapolis proper.
    I have no idea about the scale of the issues with drugs there, though.

  47. Calico
    November 12th, 2009 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    For mega-drug / weapon investigations (and I’ve not heard of a larger-scale dealer that doesn’t pack heat), the United States utilizes the DEA and/or the ATF agency.

  48. Bootsy
    November 12th, 2009 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    Niall and Josh, I think a Pluggers/MW crossover, as chicken lady brings heroin to SantaRoyMart and a shootout/cluckoff ensues would be awesome.

  49. ConcreteQueen
    November 12th, 2009 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know why anyone’s surprised by Bobbie showing up at Dr. P’s office and him being ok with that. It’s not like anyone in that strip has any concept of personal boundaries. That’s probably why I keep getting it mixed up with Mary Worth.

  50. bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
    November 12th, 2009 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    48 Bootsy: Ooh! I’m picturing the Great Santaroymart Shoot-out, but with feathers—pure awesomeness, indeed!

  51. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    RE: Pluggers and Hunter S. Thompson.

    “The trunk of the car looked like a mobile police narcotics lab. We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
    The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon. “

  52. Andrew Leal
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Novakaine #20:

    I agree. Dennis’ placid “forgiveness” of Mr. Wilson’s “grouchiness,” hopefully after Dennis just crashed Mr. W’s lawnmower into the garage, is clearly just the latest sally in this psychological warfare. It may finally drive George Wilson over the brink.

    FW: Ah, alcoholism isn’t depressing enough, let’s add post-traumatic stress disorder! (And didn’t Batiuk already cover it the first time Wally came back from the war, anyway? I know he had the black school administrator flash back to ‘Nam and talk about his experiences). At this point, I really wish something would happen to Batiuk. No, nothing terrible, but just that he’d finally realize there is more to life (and to comics) then cancer, alcoholism, loneliness, abandonment, and ceaseless pain. Maybe go for a bike ride, plant a garden, adopt a puppy, watch old “Andy Griffith Show” reruns, eat ice cream, wave hi to a neighbor, go toilet paper Jim Davis’ house, SOMETHING!

  53. Niall
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    43. Josh: I challenge your assumption – that chicken lady has never looked innocent to me.

    46. Calico: My apologies, it’s been a long while since I was in that area (my friends were living in Prince Frederick). Yes, Annapolis was very nice, and I loved the one Twelfth Night I attended. I only had my friends to guide me about the supposed increase in sordid trade going on, though.

    50. bourbon babe: Well, I think they were trying to show Defective Scott as “plucky”, so the chicken-lady would then be the pluckee, and in the middle of the shootout would shout out “Go pluck yourself, pig!”

    …I may be way too tired to try for humour… I have to be careful not to close my eyes more than a blink or I just want to fall asleep… one more hour til I leave, too. bleah.

  54. El Diablo Sombrero
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: A big shout out to whomever it was that predicted that this week would be one long haggle about the reward. The worst part is that, at the time, I thought you were kidding.

    Luann: Given how often this strip makes my heart sad (and my stomach ill) I feel obligated to mention that I kind of enjoyed it this week.

    In fact, to take it further. Luanne this week is about a soldier who is recovering from wounds suffered in Iraq. It is both poignant in showing the sacrifices we sometimes forget about, while also being quite funny. I guess you might call it “writing”.

  55. Niall
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    Oh yeah, on the comics: Garfield is no longer funny, all is right with the world. Note: Garfield is back in the house. Coincidence? I think not… IIiii… thiiiinnnnnk…. nnnnnoooot….. (way too tired if I make such obscure movie reference, and of a charcater who only gets one line to boot)

  56. Pozzo
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    Where exactly is Mr. Wilson’s mouth in that panel? I see his bizarrely-frizzy moustache and the line indicating the first of his chins, but nothing that resembles a mouth. He’s gonna have a hard time downing that cup of coffee (or gin, or whatever).

  57. cheech wizard
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    FW – Oh! This is an unexpected development! To paraphrase Geena Davis in “The Long Kiss Goodnight,” Wally’s not going to die – they are.

  58. mr 12 oz can
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    i think if dr pappagoras wore a ascot like the guy from scooby doo bobbies panties would be around her ankles by now !!!

  59. Steve S
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    If it were just drug seeker + quack doctor who wants to bone drug seeker, there would be an easy win-win solution. However, it’s drug seeker + quack doctor who wants to bone drug seeker but is a total pushover and gives up his pills way too easily, so now we have the conflict for our story.

  60. Sequitur
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    17. Perky Bird
    Actually, Pluggers fly Southwest Airlines. No baggage fees.

  61. Sequitur
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    Wouldn’t it just be easier for Chicken Lady to swallow all her pills and then just lay an egg with the pills in them when she actually needs them?

    I’m insane.

  62. Uncle Lumpy
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    The beauty of the plan is that in Pluggers, a drug mule fits right in!

  63. Poteet
    November 12th, 2009 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    # 51 Calvin’s — Ah, memories. I never saw the movie because I didn’t want to mess up my own images from that book. Not that my own images weren’t messy.

  64. Gal Friday
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    #57 The Long Kiss Goodnight was a really underappreciated flick!

  65. doug rogers
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    That is a highly abstract mouth there on Good Ol’ Mr Wilson. How does he pour coffee down one of two vertical slits?

  66. Sequitur
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    I’m starting to think that Pluggers is racist. I may be wrong but I don’t remember seeing a Plugger of the bovinic persuasion being featured.

    Please, prove me wrong on this.
    Yeah, I’m insane.

  67. tb4000
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Goddamn, the Wilkins may slowly start creeping into Winkerbean territory if this keeps up. I know diabetes is the number one killer of African Americans, but can we get some wacky “Glork!” based slapstick in this strip?

  68. Calico
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    #51 – Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas!
    Such an enigmatic man was he, Hunter.

    Niall – no need for apology – just stating what I know.

    Then again, I’ve watched almost all of the Intervention episodes, and they featured two seriously messed up gals from my hometown, one from booze (I remember going into her preferred liquor shop in Annapolis with my parents when I was young), the other from H. Sad.

  69. bats :[
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    51. CCB: from the unedited Hunter S. Thompson:
    “The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
    “There was one more thing that worried me, only a little and much less than the ether. It was that hitch-hiker we’d picked up. Two suitcases, one of them so light as to be empty.
    “It wasn’t the suitcases, or the space that they and their owner took up in the back seat of the convertible. It was the fact that the hitch-hiker was a chicken. A giant lady chicken. I prayed that the ether would make her go away.”

  70. Calico
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

    Oh ,amd by the way, I just saw, for the second night in a row, the Space Shuttle passing wayyyyy up high!

    4:37 PM EST

    For more info, go to…well, y’know….

  71. Poteet
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    # 69 bats:[ — Well, that changed my personal images of the book.

  72. Yolm
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

    I always thought Dennis was just a stupid slow kid, almost retarded but not a “menace” and the UK one would kick his sorry ass!

    and Calvin was a true menace.

  73. cheech wizard
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

    If we’re gettin’ all biblical about DtM, here’s one for Mary Worth – Exodus 22:18 – “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.”

    And for this week’s Judge Parker, Joshua 6:22 – “Go into the harlot’s house and bring the woman and all she has out of there…”

  74. Fashion Police
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    #58, Mr. 12-oz. can:
    We would prefer Professor Papagoras in almost anything but a suit from the Jeff Cory collection. However, if he must wear an ascot, make it a proper ascot, which should be worn with morning attire: tailcoat, striped trousers, waistcoat, starched wing collar, and, if outdoors, a top hat). Unfortunately, morning attire is more appropriate for the race-meeting at Saratoga than the consulting-room – unless the consultant speaks with a thick Austrian accent, wears a monocle, and it’s 1896. Under those circumstances, the consulting doctor would most probably refuse to see a patient without an appointment, especially one in a hideously pink jacket instead of a proper day-dress, and he certainly would not address her by her first name in a quasi-public setting, no matter how intimate their relationship.

  75. Sarah
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    Bobbie is a MAN, baby…

  76. cheech wizard
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    70/Calico – Don’t you mean the International Space Station? All the shuttles are on the ground right now.

    Have you ever spotted them together a few hours before or after docking/undocking? Very impressive to see them both moving in formation – you actually get a sense of perspective on just how high they are.

  77. Calico
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    #76-yes, yes – sorry! It’s the ISS.
    Trés awesome!

  78. Baka Gaijin
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    Can I call off ClownAlert 2009?

  79. Calico
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    #76 And again, no, I’ve not seen them before/after docking/undocking. Must be magnificent. : D

  80. Brad the Bold
    November 12th, 2009 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    Re: The ISS, there are schedules that tell you when and where in the sky to watch. We were lucky enough to have a pass one night while we camping with the Cub Scouts. We were lucky to have a perfectly clear sky. We used the chart and were all looking in the right direction at the right time when it appeared like magic. It got very bright and quickly arced across the sky.

    Very cool.

  81. GotFuzzy
    November 12th, 2009 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    Baka, with the current glacial pace of DT, you’ll probably have to call it ClownAlert 2010. Mr. Pops is intact. He may even have dialog tomorrow.

  82. MikeP
    November 12th, 2009 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    For ISS schedules and much more…

    http://www.heavens-above.com/

    Enter your location, and voila!

    Check out the Iridium flares, too. Way, way cool, especially when they are magnitude -5 to -8.

  83. Violet
    November 12th, 2009 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    #44 MikeP
    Why would you restrict that reaction to the terrorists?

  84. Bard
    November 12th, 2009 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    Thanks, Sister Sestina! Inspector Javert finally makes sense now!

  85. Sequitur
    November 12th, 2009 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    78. Baka Gaijin
    As GotFuzzy indicated, this may take a while.
    Why not enjoy a clown-free zone at here, here or even here.

  86. Burning Legionnaire
    November 12th, 2009 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    We laugh about the chicken lady selling the drugs. But the community college in my town just had an exciting incident a few days ago where a “non-traditional student” (read: soccer mom taking night classes) was arrested with half a kilo of cocaine in her backpack.

    I don’t go to the school but i’ve heard the story from about six reliable eyewitnesses.

    CRAZY TIMES

  87. Poteet
    November 12th, 2009 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    Luann — Every couple of months I grumble that Evans should let Luann and her friends graduate. Warning — this is one of those grumbles. It would open up the strip to more new storylines like this one, it would greatly reduce the squick factor when older (though still young) men are involved in the storylines, and it would be more in keeping with the girls’ personalities, which aren’t high-schoolish in some ways. And if it’s considered absolutely essential to have a high school protagonist, the DeGroots could adopt a fourteen-year-old or something. Okay, done.

  88. mr 12 oz can
    November 12th, 2009 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    does anyone know why mark trail adopted rusty ??? it seems he would be better off with one of those kids you send 2 bucks a month and you get a picture on christmas and bastille day .

  89. Bart
    November 12th, 2009 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    #87
    Wow! A lucid discussion regarding the Luann strip’s plotline potential.
    That’s just crazy!

  90. Girl Reporter
    November 12th, 2009 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    My favorite part is how Dr. Jeff and Mary are shoulder-to-shoulder as they both face Adrian; it seems he’s telling Adrian that he and Mary will be doing the Scott-assessment within a couple days. Meddlin’ trumps doctorin’.

  91. Calico
    November 12th, 2009 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    #82 – Thanks Mike!

  92. Chromium
    November 12th, 2009 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson looks like he’s ready to crucify the little bastard.

  93. nerowolfgal
    November 12th, 2009 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    36 -Baron Bizarre says:

    Well said! I do agree, but the real Morrigan in all her shapeshifting deadly glory, not the silly Lord of the Dance version.

    I love this site for the intelligent and educated people who post.

  94. LouieLouie
    November 12th, 2009 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Pappagoros is so surprised at Bobbie stopping by that it has turned his hair white (again).

  95. Mr. O'Malley
    November 12th, 2009 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    Y265. CanuckDownSouth.

    I wonder if having your blood above water’s boiling point, even for seconds, would be survivable. I’d guess no.

    The temperature required to boil water depends on the air pressure. Hence it is lower at higher altitudes.

    If you were ejected from the airlock of a space ship into complete vacuum without a space suit, as happens so frequently in science fiction, your blood temperature would be above water’s boiling point, but that scenario is supposedly survivable for a short period of time.

    Having your blood be at a temperature of 104 degrees C is probably not survivable, I would think. Unless you say “but suppose it happened just for a picosecond”, but how would that happen?

  96. RJ the Janitor
    November 12th, 2009 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    …moon rock, GOAT! (sweep sweep), Revised Corrupted Version of the Bible (RCV), rejected BATS :[ drawings, cute picture of Poteet [that goes in my wallet] (sweep sweep), and a unused hall pass signed by Uncle Lumpy. That’s it! All cleaned up.

  97. Andrew Leal
    November 12th, 2009 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    55 Niall: Watership Down? That’s all that’s coming to my mind

  98. Poteet
    November 12th, 2009 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    # 96 RJ the Janitor — Will we ever see you again? *looks down, scuffs toe*

  99. Orange Cactus
    November 12th, 2009 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers is the Funky Winkerbean of the Slylock Fox universe. With less cancer.

  100. RJ the Janitor
    November 12th, 2009 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    Poteet @98 – At the rate you guys mess up this place, it’s almost a given. [smile!]

  101. sugarpie
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    RJ the Janitor 100 It’s probably best for you to put us on your regular schedule. It looks so nice in here (you’ve done a great job!) but there’s not a chance in hell it’ll stay this way after the regular Friday night chocolate, ether,and bourbon spree. Mind putting that Poteet snapshot on Flicker?

  102. Jamus the Bartender
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    Dtm/! 1. 5, et al: Now Cassandra wants to wash Dennis’ feet with her hair. This has to stop.

  103. bourbon babe, unbuckled (nee buckyswife)
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    101 sugarpie: Wait—the chocolate and bourbon spree is tomorrow night? Oops…. ((stashes away goodies))

  104. queek
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    and now for something completely different. . . .

    I was sort of wondering which, if any, of the My Cage characters would regularly watch The Rachel Meadowmouse Show. Sadly, my first guess was Max, but only when Ana Marie Cockscomb was guesting on it. *sigh*

  105. queek
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:29 pm [Reply]

    *shines a spotlight for RJ to sweep up*

  106. RJ the Janitor
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    sugarpie @101. Hey, why not? (I think I’m in love)

    Hey, watch it there queek.

  107. Omny
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    Obviously, Dennis’s non-menacery is a ploy before he reveals himself to be the anti-christ.

  108. cheech wizard
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    105/queek – Nice. I see you remember “Linus the Lion-Hearted.” Probably the best half hour ad for kids’ cereal ever.

    Closing credits for LTLH:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XEm7dEpykg

  109. RJ the Janitor
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    That is one ‘mazing frog.

  110. cheech wizard
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    Oops, I guess Emmett Kelly did that first. My bad.

  111. RJ the Janitor
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    That is one ‘mazing clown.

  112. Comrade Denny
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    “So, apparently Dennis has been sent to Earth by his Father to teach us about peace, and then die for our sins. This … this is not very menacing at all.”

    Hey, last time someone tried that we got 2000 years of uninterrupted religious wars, heretic burnings, purges, and inquisitions. Add to that the bits about separating the sheep from the goats and casting 99% of humanity into a lake of fire and you’ve got some serious menace going on.

  113. zerowolf
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    #13 Nekrotzar — I always envisioned Margo as the avatar of Kali.

  114. NoahSnark
    November 12th, 2009 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    Why the second suitcase? There is no law enforcement official on Earth who would volunteer to give an elderly Plugger a cavity search.

  115. Ukulele Ike
    November 12th, 2009 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    Comrade Denny @ 112: Yeah, but In Switzerland they had brotherly love, 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.

  116. zerowolf
    November 12th, 2009 at 11:11 pm [Reply]

    Why is But-tuck even bothering with this Wally plot line? Trudeau already did it and did it a hell of a lot better. With BD you felt sympathy, with Wally you really just want to put him out of his misery.

  117. sugarpie
    November 12th, 2009 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    106 RJ the Janitor You dog, you! Thanks! Even cuter than I had dared hope.

    Bourbon Babe, Unbuckled I know, I was thinking it was tonight, too. I’ve been trying to jam the damned cork back into the damned bottle for the last half hour.

  118. Ms.X
    November 12th, 2009 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    DtM: Not menacing? Dennis has CLEARLY come back not to ‘forgive’ Mr. Wilson, but to watch as the poison he planted in his curmudgeonly neighbor’s daily cup of coffee begins to take effect. Look at that eerie drop of sweat…the facial tic…the look of terror in Mr. Wilson’s eyes as his heart begins to race and the truth dawns on him: this is the end. All those ears of toil and suffering have lead to this. Why would a loving God create such a monster as Dennis? What horrors did Mr. WIlson commit in his past lives that could possibly leave him now, begging for mercy as he collapses to the floor, gazing up into the eyes of his nemesis. As he lies, gasping for his last breaths he hears the final laughter…then silence…then “Mrs. Wilson. I smelled some of your tasty ol’ cookies, so I thought I’d come by.”

  119. KarMann
    November 13th, 2009 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley #95: But the temperature to boil blood depends on ambient pressure plus blood pressure. That won’t make a huge difference against our normal air pressure, but against a vacuum, it’s a huge difference.
    Also, water solutions have a higher boiling point than pure water, and blood would certainly qualify. I’m not sure how significant an effect this would be, though; I don’t know the molality of blood. Perhaps someone could provide a sample for testing?

  120. Nekrotzar
    November 13th, 2009 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    #88 -
    does anyone know why mark trail adopted rusty ???

    That’s the thing about pets: usually, you don’t adopt them, they adopt you.

  121. CanuckDownSouth
    November 13th, 2009 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    #119 karmann and #95 mr omalley – well, I wasn’t going to bring in the pressure complication. We’re a fluid system under pressure, so the internal pressure matters (vacuum won’t, except to cause some painful pressure force effects near the skin). However, the pressure’s not all *that* different from atmospheric – about 10%. (It’s tens of mm vs 76 cm of Hg) The different boiling point for blood is an issue, but I didn’t figure it was much of one – blood *cooks* as in boudin (or au jus?) at accessible temps – so if 104 C isn’t going to boil the blood in your veins, it should simmer it :-)

  122. Toronto
    November 13th, 2009 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    I was a fan of Linus the Lionhearted, but never new until today he was voiced by Sheldon Leonard.

    Or that Carl Reiner and Ruth Buzzi were involved. Johnathan Winters, Anne Meara – what a cast!

  123. Paperback Rifler
    November 13th, 2009 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    Hey all -

    Apropos of not much, I haven’t posted one of these in a while and am admittedly out of practice; but Josh’s title for this post practically made the following effort write itself. So, submitted for your ignoring pleasure, and with apologies to Mick and Keef, to fans of “Mother’s Little Helper” by the Rolling Stones, and to everybody everywhere:

    Oh, the things she’ll do to get stoned…

    How can anyone get by
    Without ever being high?
    A girl needs prescription drugs to dull the pain.
    Though she isn’t really ill,
    Bobbie Merrill wants her pills -
    She goes running to the office of ol’ Doctor Papagoras,
    And he’ll give her little pills, so her fix will be fulfilled.

    How can anyone get by
    Without ever being high?
    It’s a drag to think one’s husband is a cheat.
    But there’s no way to deny
    All those pics from that P.I. –
    Now she’s running to the office of ol’ Doctor Papagoras,
    And she’ll charm that snooty lug, so she’ll get narcotic drugs.

    Cuz she knows, he’ll give a dose
    Without a fuss; Papagoras.
    Oh, the things she’ll do to get stoned…

    How can anyone get by
    Without ever being high?
    She’s got no prescription, so she’ll use her wiles.
    If she gets no drugs at all,
    She will shout, “OH @!!*# IT ALL!”
    And go running to the office of ol’ Doctor Papagoras,
    And she hopes she’ll leave that scene with a purse full of codeine.

    Cuz she knows, he’ll give a dose
    Without a fuss; Papagoras.
    Oh, the things she’ll do to get stoned…

    How can anyone get by
    Without ever being high?
    What’s the point of being sober every day?
    Bobbie’s thought her problem through,
    Asking, “What would Margo do?” -
    She’d go running to the office of ol’ Doctor Papagoras,
    And a bunch of pills she’d take or leave bodies in her wake.

  124. bats :[
    November 13th, 2009 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    TGIFunnies!

    Mutts: Shtinky Puddin’ sighting! Yay!

    MT: nothing better happen to Sassy. I mean it.

    JP: because if something happens to Sassy, I’m callin’ a lawyer. Sam Driver, to be precise. Legal-minded and with fists of fury!

    MW: then again, maybe I’ll retain Mr. Driver just to punch out Adrian. Gad, and I thought Delilah was a pain in the ass.

  125. Poteet
    November 13th, 2009 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    # 106 RJ the Janitor — Aww…you’re sweet.

    # 117 sugarpie — And so are you!

  126. Alison
    November 13th, 2009 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    The Pluggers comic made me sad because I am only in my 20s but I put “pills” on my lists of things to pack first when I go on vacations, because I was born with a medical condition. I am sad to find out I am apparently a fugly bigoted chicken-human hybrid.

    Meanwhile-”Garfield” made me laugh today. I admit it.

  127. Lou Shumaker
    November 13th, 2009 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    Rifler, I muttered through that song in the office, and you know? I think you got a hit.

  128. Carly
    November 13th, 2009 at 2:21 am [Reply]

    I really want to know what Dennis did earlier to prompt that look of eye-popping, sweat dripping horror on Mr. Wilson’s face. I note that Mrs. Wilson is not in this panel.

  129. Aviatrix
    November 13th, 2009 at 2:37 am [Reply]

    Re FOOB and fever temperatures: although Canada uses the metric system, and most people know that body temperature is 37 degrees, old mercury thermometers and accumulated lore about what constitutes a bad fever are still passed down from our grandparents in Fahrenheit. It’s still not uncommon here to hear someone cite a fever in Fahrenheit.

    When I was a kid, I didn’t know that the “100 degrees” of a fever was different from the “100 degrees” of boiling water. I thought someone with a fever was literally boiling. I thought that was what made a fever so bad. You’d boil dry like a forgotten kettle!

  130. The Mighty Captain E
    November 13th, 2009 at 2:42 am [Reply]

    And, you know, the thing about Bobbie… she’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When she comes at ya for a fix, doesn’t seem to be living… until she bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’.

  131. Tess
    November 13th, 2009 at 4:25 am [Reply]

    I’m exhausted, but before I went to sleep, I decided to check your latest post. I really thought the “punchline” portion of pluggers (after speech bubble and illustration) was something you had written yourself. This shit really does just mock itself.

  132. Danny Lilithborne
    November 13th, 2009 at 6:37 am [Reply]

    Hey, whatever executive art-school dropout is drawing Apartment 3-G now… I know nobody reads soap opera strips anymore, but seriously, not even GOD HIMSELF WANTS TO SEE AN OLD GUY BANG A DRUG ADDICT. Get a freaking clue.

  133. AmyS
    November 13th, 2009 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    MT: “QUIET for a moment, Rusty! Let’s listen to the majestic sound of an alligator devouring its prey. And the we can keep looking for your dog, Sissy or Sticky or whatever its name is.”

  134. queek
    November 13th, 2009 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    110: yup, that was what I was referencing. One of the classics.

  135. Portia
    November 13th, 2009 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    Dennis is going for the big guns. Stink bombs? Keying cars? Listening to his sister’s telephone conversations? Not good enough. He’s going for crusades, fire and brimstone, and sheep-and-goat separating, baby!

  136. Jumper
    November 14th, 2009 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    When I was Dennis’s age, I too was wild and free, and I thought Mr. Wilson was a grouch.

    Later I saw him as a saintly man who daily struggled with the terrible temptation to commit murder. In short, it was Wilson’s preternatural forbearance, his steely self-control that provided the very possibility of civilization. Wilson was, finally, our Marlow, and Dennis’s untamed barbarian heart was the heart of darkness.

    Nowadays, of course, Dennis’s slingshot, which used to regularly plink cats, bluenosed old ladies, Wilson’s bald head, and yes, mockingbirds, has been relegated to the Museum of Forbidden Artifacts, along with penknives and fishhooks and matches and the corpse of Tyler Durden.

  137. Mr. E.Z. Mark
    November 15th, 2009 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    Those things below mr.Wilson’s nose.. Is that a pair of nose hairs, a depressingly small and limp mustache, or the outline of a terribly deformed lower lip?

    Makes me wonder if he’s related to Leroy Lockhorn….

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