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Other possibilities: Astronaut, fireman, Voltron pilot

Sally Forth, 1/5/06

OK, we all know Ces already has this one plotted out months in advance, but still, let’s try to think up a new job for Ted that will both leave him more personally fulfilled and open up new narrative possibilities for the strip!

A renegade cop who plays by his own rules
NASCAR pit crew member
Pastry chef
Mob accountant
~~Gay porn star~~ Gas station attendant
Drifter/hobo
Lion tamer

C’mon, everybody, join the fun!

Whatever it is our little Ted decides to do when he grows up, he’ll need a new shirt to do it in. Right now, he looks like he’s wearing a Yankees uniform with a tie. At least he’s not the worst dressed member of the Forth household: Sally’s outfit is exactly like Cathy’s Irving’s get-up, only in a much uglier color.

Update: Ces offers sample Ted dialogue for these jobs over at Drink At Work.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 5, 2006 at 10:50 pm and is filed under Sally Forth. |

114 responses to “Other possibilities: Astronaut, fireman, Voltron pilot”

captainswift
January 5th, 2006 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

Without buying a new shirt:

Train engineer
Jailbird
(Or, possibly, Hamburglar)
Youth Minister, circa 1981
wrestling referee
advice-dispensing bartender in a sitcom bar catering only to the forlorn main character and a nosy drunk
Howard Roark
January 5th, 2006 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

Cartoonist. That would create a circular story arc.
Rusty
January 5th, 2006 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

Sorry if double post. Ted has to embrace his inner gay man, I always assumed that the strip was written by a female sice Ted was always struck me as having a female sensibility. So I vote for gay porn star or even just the guy who hands out towels at the bathhouse.
jmarkow
January 5th, 2006 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

Ballroom Dance Instructor
Shirt presser(He’s expert at the nice crisp shoulders)
1980’s lead singer in a punk band(again, the shoulders)
Shoulder pad manufacturer
Blow-dry specialist
Gigalo specializing in raising sneering women’s self-esteem
randomdude
January 5th, 2006 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

Blogger/Curmudgeon.

tedreads.com
He reads the comics so you don’t have to.

His first CafePress sale can be to Sally.
Skooter
January 5th, 2006 at 11:31 pm [Reply]

How about “Ask Wendy” writer?

Black market indian relic trader?

Ersatz war hero and part-time gambler?

Canadian landscape nursery worker?

Bum Boat waiter?
Bigfoot
January 5th, 2006 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

If he’s looking for gratification, then his new job has to be in the sex industry.
Mibbitmaker
January 5th, 2006 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

Boring inner life is more like it, Sally.

How ’bout…

Meddling biddy in a gated community (I just noticed something: gay-Ted community! )

Nature explorer turned fist-weilding avenger

Fence builder (changes his name to Frank)

Sweatshop whipcracker (“More zippers, Mule!”)

Gitsum Guy (eeewwwwwww!)

Idiot superhero in an insect costume

Professor (gets to hang out with 3 pretty, yet troubled, women)

Rotund, dentally-challenged army sergeant

Marriage counsellor for the Lockhorns

Perpetually missing Canadian helicopter pilot who blows it with a saintly teacher

A saintly teacher

Fundamentalist Christian Caveman

Broken swan mender

Meth dealer….
edgeways
January 6th, 2006 at 12:00 am [Reply]

herm… how about Ralp’s old job? That’s open isn’t it?
ok, ok that is pushing paper too, but at least he’d be the boss of Sally…. FOR ONCE!!!

anyhow,

I vote for elephant shit shovler, that or male escort
left of the pyle
January 6th, 2006 at 12:14 am [Reply]

indian casino lobbyist

Israeli prime minister

POTUS

… all of those jobs seem to be open soon.

Or maybe he could just be a voiceover actor for one of those creepy ass bears from the Charmin commercials. We get it, okay. Bears shit in the woods. Do we have to see them doing a hold-it-in-long-enough-to-get-to-the-can dance.
Jim C.
January 6th, 2006 at 1:29 am [Reply]

With that shirt:

Banjo Player at Shakeys.

If he can travel:

Dealer at Hutch Owen’s Hotel & Casino in Milford.
REB
January 6th, 2006 at 2:27 am [Reply]

i really, really want this idiotic Curtis storyline to come to an abrupt and bloody end.
Kaliflower
January 6th, 2006 at 2:32 am [Reply]

It’s been said numerous times but I have to get this off my chest. Mary Worth’s current storyline is the most idiotic thing ever.
Dub Not Dubya
January 6th, 2006 at 3:03 am [Reply]

Sell propane and propane accessories

Substitute Spanish teacher
Unemployed Guy
January 6th, 2006 at 3:08 am [Reply]

I don’t even have a job. I have to envy Ted’s.
Malcolm
January 6th, 2006 at 3:27 am [Reply]

Going by the first panel, I reckon he’d be a good boob-sizer.
Cliff Kuhn, M.D., The Laugh Dr.
January 6th, 2006 at 6:05 am [Reply]

Ted seems to be neutered. He might make a good harem guard?
Frank Drackman
January 6th, 2006 at 6:28 am [Reply]

Dude at the funeral home who does the touch up work on the corpses.
RichM
January 6th, 2006 at 7:20 am [Reply]

Gitsum Guy.

Wedding singer. So he can do a crossover on A3G when Streisand (and either of the Barbara Bushes, I guess) begs off.
Robert Canipe, PhD
January 6th, 2006 at 7:24 am [Reply]

RE #2
“Cartoonist. That would create a circular story arc”

Oooo, metacomics! He could do a comic about himself, his wife and family, and it would be THE comic that he is in…ERK!
Pozzo
January 6th, 2006 at 7:45 am [Reply]

Usually in long-running strips looking for new ideas for storylilnes, it’s the wife who looks for fulfillment in a job. Maybe Ted can work in Blondie’s catering business or help Lois sell houses.
yellojkt
January 6th, 2006 at 8:14 am [Reply]

First, we have to determeine what Ted’s current job is. We’d hate to send him back to the same routine by mistake.

I think it’s pretty safe he is not a:

Sports color commentator

Sumo wrestling coach

Gladiator movie extra
micedwhale
January 6th, 2006 at 8:22 am [Reply]

fluffer
boy band promoter
infomercial m.c.
he’s pasty enough to be tech support
bonaduce stunt double
str8 up g
fight promoter
walking mat for overbearing wife and daughter…..wait a second
pot farmer
fluffytufts
January 6th, 2006 at 8:59 am [Reply]

Professional Sniveler?

Thoughtful, poetic type you see in small, independent coffee houses all over Richmond, VA? You know – the kind you want to walk up to and punch real hard?

Elementary school cafeteria worker?

Alan Alda’s bitch?
mooselet
January 6th, 2006 at 9:17 am [Reply]

Masseur – see how his arm lays snake-like up Sally’s shoulder?

Cirque du Soleil – again, the whole flexibilty thing.

Back-up singer for Elvis Impersonator

Hairdresser

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy substitute
Monkeys Uncle
January 6th, 2006 at 9:25 am [Reply]

I hope I’m not taking all the good ones…

usher at a gay wedding
gay man at Usher’s wedding
pet groomer
dock worker
topiary artist
merkin manufacturer
advertising executive
new lead singer for Van Halen
ghostbuster
Nascar driver
dental hygienist
red shirted ensign on the next away team
christian fundamentalist shock jock
hansome cab driver
lackey
mid management yesman
fry cook
Walker*
toll booth operator
aluminum siding salesman
heavy equipment operator
upper class twit of the year
espn football play by play announcer
bee farmer
new President of NORML

*for ghost who walks…
Sharkbait
January 6th, 2006 at 9:35 am [Reply]

1) phlebotomist
2) proprietor of “Brokeback Dude Ranch”
3) Spiderman nemesis
4) political blogger
5) contributing editor: Cat Fancy
6) taxidermist
Nom du Jour
January 6th, 2006 at 9:35 am [Reply]

how ’bout a merkin modeler

or a gambling addicition advisor

or a rubbermaid container salesman
Smitty Smedlap
January 6th, 2006 at 9:41 am [Reply]

- NAMBLA spokesperson
- Replacement for the uber-gay blond Queer Eye for the Straight Guy guy.
Doug Puthoff
January 6th, 2006 at 9:48 am [Reply]

I think Ted should be out looking for Osama.
MotoMike
January 6th, 2006 at 9:49 am [Reply]

Ted could join the growing ranks of pet kidnappers. Life is imitating art here in Dallas: the Dallas Morning News reports that two guys stole a cat at gunpoint …

” Police said they are searching for a pair of true catburglars after two men walked into a Petco store at Casa Linda Plaza in East Dallas and got away with a large orange tabby.

“[They] didn’t say anything [and] didn’t steal anything else, no money, nothing … just the cat,” said Dianne Wood, a volunteer with the Protective Animal League.

Witnesses told Dallas police that two men came into the store with their eyes set on a kitty condo with Simon inside.

“At some point, one of them goes ’shh’ to the employee that was in the store,” Wood said. “And the other raised his jacket and showed where he had a gun, at which point they got the cat out of the condo and left.” …
… and here’s the link:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/localnews/stories/010506dnmetcatnapping.44a07568.html

(I’m still wondering if this is a hoax story).
Clearly, while we’ve been frittering away our attention on the Tedinator, real life has been on the march; obviously these felons read Mark Trail and know there’s good money in them thar pet stores. Speaking of Mark Trail, today he’s showing remarkable bravery in spite of being menaced by a possibly rabid racoon twice his size. What a guy. All I can say is – he damn better have the RIGHT HOUSE …I look forward to the installment where he looks down and somebody is tapping him on his ankle …”Just what the $%#&& are you doing – climbing a tree so you can look in our bathroom windows? What the hell kind of peeping tom are you, you creep?!” – he’s dragged down, beaten up and has to go to court to try to explain – and as we all know, Mark Trail has never exactly been courtroom-ready. He may encounter a different kind of animal awaiting trial, but we won’t be seeing a lot of close-ups.
Seales
January 6th, 2006 at 10:09 am [Reply]

Ted should consider clown college. I’d read Sally Forth if every three panels of her banal, self-satisfied dry wit was countered by one panel of a Ted tumbling around the kitchen and slapping a pie in her face.
adfella
January 6th, 2006 at 10:11 am [Reply]

PLEASE HELP WITH TODAY’S B.C.

Yet again I must avail myself upon Curmudgeon Nation to explain an episode of B.C.

Once again, despite repeated readings, I simply CANNOT figure out where the joke is or what the joke is.

Since the one fellow is sporting a crucifix with his nattily-tailored animal skin toga, I can only assume this is yet another of Johnny Hart’s holier-than-thou religious references, but beyond that, I’m stumped.

Can anyone out there explain this to me?
blueeyes
January 6th, 2006 at 10:15 am [Reply]

It’s so sad that, with the Sally and Ted’s measly salaries, that they had to sell all of their chairs and are subject to the indignity of having to sit on their stairs.
ComicsFan
January 6th, 2006 at 10:19 am [Reply]

Anybody notice that Ces has posted on this thread over in his blog (drinkatwork.com)?
BigJoe
January 6th, 2006 at 10:20 am [Reply]

#32: I don’t know if there’s any deeper hidden joke or hidden religious significance, but the joke I got out of it was that he says he can’t pronounce the word “moccasin”, but pronounces it correctly when stating that he can’t pronounce it.

Sorry, I would have replied sooner but I had to take some time to compose myself after reading it. I try not to read B.C. at work because the screams of laughter coming from my cube tend to disturb my coworkers.
BigJoe
January 6th, 2006 at 10:22 am [Reply]

#36 – Arrgh. Of course I meant to be replying to #33, not #32.
Ces
January 6th, 2006 at 10:29 am [Reply]

I am shocked! Shocked to learn that it took you guys a whole 23 entries before someone said “fluffer.”
Braniff
January 6th, 2006 at 10:32 am [Reply]

The fellow who had the ilicit affair with Mommy Keane outside the circle in the Family Circus (he’d make the pas’ghetti for Billy, Jeffy, Dolly and PJ). Ted would also play the ghost of the dead Grandpa and the spirits known as Ida Know and Not Me.
BigJoe
January 6th, 2006 at 11:09 am [Reply]

How about some crossover jobs for Ted?

- guest star who gets hit with Rat’s “wimp hammer” in PBS
- delivery van driver for Blondie’s catering service
- oarsman #12 on Hagar’s boat (lead singer of the “Men, men, men, men” song)
- crisis counselor in Foobville (he could counsel April on how to live a normal life despite having a zit)
- girl’s volleyball coach at Luann’s high school
- stunt double for Winky in Brewster’s Rocket
- talking giant rodent in MT
Dark Star
January 6th, 2006 at 11:11 am [Reply]

Manwhore

or maybe the entry level position:

Assistant Manwhore
Tom
January 6th, 2006 at 11:54 am [Reply]

I think he absolutely should take up worm farming. When I was twelve, I sent away for a brochure on how I could make thousands a month raising worms in my own basement.

I have a meaningless yet satisfying job as a junior yes man now, but sometimes, in the quiet of the night, I wonder what like would have been like if I had become a farmer.
Concerned Citizen
January 6th, 2006 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

#3 – Actually I believe SF writer is a male. When I first saw the strip, Sally was fairly masculine and the men, particularly Ted and Ralph, were bumbling misogynistic idiots. It’s been toned down in an effort to keep Hillary from getting too gender bent. Ted should consider:

Working in a candle shop
Crabtree & Evelyn
Drag queen (don’t borrow Sally’s wardrobe; not feminine enough)
How about a remake of Midnight Cowboy with Ted playing all the parts?
lizpet
January 6th, 2006 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

He could be

Dubya’s speechwriter

Richard Simmons’ body-oiler

Michael Moore’s stylist
lizpet
January 6th, 2006 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

or he could sell GRIT
Ces
January 6th, 2006 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

#43 – Actually I believe SF writer is a male.

Based on an admittedly cursory examination–and without the benefit of medical corroboration–yes, I do appear to be male.
Mainspark
January 6th, 2006 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

1. Garrison Keeler’s man Friday;

2. Brokeback Mountain reality star;

3. Mr. Garrison’s new hand puppet.
kippetje2000
January 6th, 2006 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

crash test dummy
Woodrowfan
January 6th, 2006 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

whatever his new job is, I’m betting Tony and/or Ralph is his new boss!
kippetje2000
January 6th, 2006 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

he could take up ceramics at home. Judging from the yesterdays post there’s a large market for fidojizz mugs.
NAN86S
January 6th, 2006 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

inventor.
guinea pig for scientific experiments.
Homer Simpson’s job at Nuclear power plant.
lizpet
January 6th, 2006 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

Sea Monkey salesman
TMC
January 6th, 2006 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

Tugboat captain.
BigJoe
January 6th, 2006 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

Wait a minute. Luann picks up the phone in the living room and calls the kitchen? They have different phone numbers on each phone in their house?

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2006/1/6&name=Luann
Jason
January 6th, 2006 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

I can’t speak for the other fine professions, but I actually AM a gay porn star and, well, we don’t want him. Way too girly. Kind of defeats the whole purpose.
Thelonious_Nick
January 6th, 2006 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

Why’s he have to find a new job? What’s wrong with drinking at home all day and stewing over life’s unfairness? Bitter sarcasm and alchohol-fueled rage are just what this strip needs.
BigJoe
January 6th, 2006 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

PBS – Is this a shout out to our forum? Matches us exactly. Except for the pay part.

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2006/1/6&name=Pearls_Before_Swine
Islamorada Girl
January 6th, 2006 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

Ted should be discovered as the long lost heir to the throne of some Balkan armpit of a country. Hilarity ensues.

Spittle flying, rage- disordered commentator on Faux News Channel. Hilarity ensues.

Leading man in community theater production of Grease. Becomes stage struck and tries to become a professional mime. Hilarity ensues.
Islamorada Girl
January 6th, 2006 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

Professional bowler.
Sassy_Rocks
January 6th, 2006 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

New Green Bay Packers head coach.

He reminds me of Mike Squirmin’ Sherman.
Moesy
January 6th, 2006 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

Astronaut – who doesn’t want to be one
Male model – just look at those shoulders
Driving school instructor – he’d appreciate his life in a whole new way.
Marc
January 6th, 2006 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

Hmm Ted…Boss of Sally seems likely, I mean there is an opening…

OHH

Stay at home dad!!!

He can play with kitty all day. The only “kitty” he’s allowed to touch without asking..
BassoGap
January 6th, 2006 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

Stay at home Dad? Perfect…

He’d look so cute in an apron, baking cookies when Wally and the Beaver get home from school.

And don’t forget the pearl necklace…
Marc
January 6th, 2006 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

Stay-at-home should definately be his new profession!! He will cook, clean, chat with his gals all day, and sing showtunes while sanitizing the doorknobs!
golfwidow
January 6th, 2006 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

Ted should be a pimp and do hookups for the husbands in the other comics.

I’m not saying Irving would be his best customer, but he’d probably be first in line.
Marc
January 6th, 2006 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

Whatever Ted is doing is obviously keeping the Forth klan in snazzy (or rather unsnazzy) clothes.

I can see this as the “He’s making six-figures, but isnt happy, so pursues lifelong goal, earns virtually nothing, debt insues, mom can’t support the family by herself, daddy ends up going back to work” scenario. Although Ted will be more of a bother than help to the family, he’ll enjoy it, but Sally and Hilary will persuade Ted to go back into workforce, by leaving subtle hints.

Ohh… or Ted can be ft/pt douche bag.
Frank Drackman
January 6th, 2006 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

WOW that chick in Judge Parker has got some serious camel toe goin on..
Lor
January 6th, 2006 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

Professions for Ted:

Gideon Bible distributor
Street vendor – faux Rolex watches, Statue of Liberty ashtrays, roasted chestnuts
Cat herder
Empty suit
Librarian
Sassy_Rocks
January 6th, 2006 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

Camel toe? Good one! I always thought Abbey Spencer has more vpl going.
randomdude
January 6th, 2006 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

The current storyline in Get Fuzzy is pretty funny…
http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/archive/getfuzzy-20060104.html
ShadowCheese
January 6th, 2006 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

You should be happy. This is one of the blessed few Sally Forths that actually doesn’t contain a sexually uncalled-for undertone.
Evil Mary
January 6th, 2006 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

K-Mart underwear model.
Jay Nickola
January 6th, 2006 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

Freelance Esperanto translator?
Hank Kimbel
January 7th, 2006 at 1:14 am [Reply]

Until I get into the flow, I’ll make another comment on Rex Morgan. On RMMD does the character in panel 2 look like Louie DePalma? 1/6
RichM
January 7th, 2006 at 7:15 am [Reply]

In the 1/7 Mark Trail, it seems that the main character should have kept his fretting about the crows to himself instead of speaking them aloud. His bad.
Sheila
January 7th, 2006 at 8:50 am [Reply]

Mother Goose and Grimm and Drabble had the same gag this morning. Bah.

Why oh why does the Curtis Kwanzaa story drag on for more than the week of Kwanzaa? It’s January 7 already — STOP IT!
Marc
January 7th, 2006 at 9:04 am [Reply]

Oohh, Ted can be a mannequin for JCPenney’s.

Mary Worth-Wow, they’ve been saying the same dialogue but with different words all week. It’s good to know that people in Mary Worthville have the same color nails as skintone.
mako
January 7th, 2006 at 9:12 am [Reply]

Emotional distress? I mean, I know this is California, but this won’t even fly there. There is no claim for emotional distress without actual contact or fear of contact. If wilbur ran Jane’s husband over in front of her, well, maybe then. But a divorce because squarehead blondpants was dumb enough to listen to him even though she didn’t want one? The law doesn’t redress plain stupidity. Unless it’s against McDonalds.
Frank Drackman
January 7th, 2006 at 9:21 am [Reply]

Wow, in Saturdays FC mommie is frying Merkins.
hacky
January 7th, 2006 at 9:47 am [Reply]

Frazz: Proof at last in the whole “Frazz-is-actually-twentysomething-Calvin” debate: He’s helping the kids build a ginormous brachyosaurus out of snow:

http://www.comics.com/comics/frazz/
Malcolm
January 7th, 2006 at 10:26 am [Reply]

From the archive examples only, the Judge Parker artist doesn’t seem to like drawing any full figures, check them out.

Always mid-shots or head shots.
Therefore I was somewhat surprised to find that he’d drawn sufficiently “south” to show camel toe.

I can’t access the latest strips, King archives a month behind, and my local paper doesn’t carry JP, so for the first time in living memory I’ll be looking out for a soap strip.

Shoot me now, please.
Marc
January 7th, 2006 at 11:30 am [Reply]

FC mommy is supposed to be making “Rice Quik” but with the black squiggles above the skillet, it doesn’t look to appetizing…also, don’t you cook packaged rice in the microwave….not a skillet (unless making a stir-fry, which is too multi-cultural for FC).

Today Ted Forth is thinking about his Scooby-Doo idea, of living in a “Mystery Machine” and sporting ascots.

Hi and Lois really isnt using a big vocabulary today.
“Nice Fire”
“Yeah, I’m going to get cozy”
Yet, I would not deem today’s comic appropriate for younger readers, because it hints at comic strip character’s sex lives. Shudder.

Gen. Halftrack’s wife has abnormally small legs for her body structure.

We learn Dagwood has no windows in the front of his house.

Get Fuzzy is actually funny today..

In Sunday’s comics, Sally Forth is playing the “exposition game” (if any of you remember from Jan 2005 archives) in the first panel.

Don’t get excited over Mary Worth, it’s basically a recap of this week’s happening (which is just really recaps everyday)
gradioc
January 7th, 2006 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

Curtis may have only about 8 jokes used over and over, but even that is preferable to the annual descent into Kwaanza story Hell. Maybe one of these characters can turn himself into an original idea. If so it will the first one seen in Curtis for years.
Bill Peschel
January 7th, 2006 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

I thought it would be obvious to you all by now â€¦

Pro Blogger!

(and, yes, I did leave the same message on the Luann thread. Guess I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue!)
Islamorada Girl
January 7th, 2006 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

Yo, yo, T-For needs to hook some bling, drink a fo’ty an’ pop a cap on
Eminmen’s ass, yo!

Ted Forth: ghetto fabulous.
Sheila
January 7th, 2006 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

Gradioc — good point — the Kwanzaa thing isn’t EVEN original, it’s just that frickin’ Flyspeck Island chameleon up to his tricks again. Hahahaha NOT.
Marc
January 7th, 2006 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

It’s times like these I’m glad my newspaper doesnt have Curtis. The only comic strip my newspaper carries, that isnt semi racist (housebroken, ahem) is Jump Start. Let’s face it, they don’t even look black in the sunday comics (color) that much anyway.
Dub Not Dubya
January 7th, 2006 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

Hey Malcolm re 81: you can get up to date Judge Parker (and many other strips) here:

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComics.mpl

You can curse me later.
kelseyg
January 7th, 2006 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

“Ces offers sample Ted dialogue for these jobs over at Drink At Work.”

For some reason the “ces” made my brain read that as french, and I kept reading it over and over and couldn’t understand it.

And even that was more entertaining the this comic.
Malcolm
January 7th, 2006 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

Thanks Dub. I was able to access the strip there.

Frank, you’re obviously young or have been incarcerated in some monastery until now, but that’s no camel toe.

The difference between a pair of pants hich cling to the female form and those which display a camel toe is subtle, but definite.
I’m sure, the internet being what it is, you merely need to type “camel toe” into Google Images and you will open up a pandora’s box of explanatory pics.

Anyone else hot in here?
Some Guy Here
January 7th, 2006 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

Uhhhh…see what I said on Ces’ page
Some Guy Here
January 7th, 2006 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

Uhhhh…see what I said on Ces’ page
Rusty
January 7th, 2006 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

#43 concerrned Citizen: I realize Ces is a male (which he has politely confirmed), my point was that one would never know that when reading SF. Although the strip is not in my daily paper and I only catch it over here or sometimes in the boston Globe. Ted has always struck me as a male character imagined by a female. Plus he is drawn as as a bit of a poofter.
Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute
January 7th, 2006 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

There’s just sooo much the Tedster can do. Here’s a few more ideas:

Blimp operator
Ryan Seacrest’s personal assistant
Carnie
Matador
Walmart greeter
Professional sperm donor
Tackling dummy
Ted Koppel look alike
Male prostitute, Oh wait, that’s my job. Never mind.
Dennis Jimenez
January 8th, 2006 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

1.8.2005 – SF – Hey Ces,

I don’t know what a Calvin and Hobbs style snowman is, but it reminds me of an old joke from the Reagan administration.

Apparently someone wrote in urine in the snow, “Reagan Sucks.” The secret service was on the case – they used DNA analysis to determine the urine came from Walter Mondale. Of course the bad news was the hand writing was Nancy’s. Ba da bum….
Halibut
January 8th, 2006 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

Men’s room attendant
Drug abuse counselor (Oh, the jocularity!)
Suicide hotline counselor (Ditto!)
Senator from North Carolina
Foot model
Home Shopping Channel “host”
Regis’ wacky sidekick (Lord knows he needs one)
TV weatherman
Damp-Rid spokesman
Nattering nabob of negativity
Lor
January 8th, 2006 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

Archivist and cleaning lady for the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (VRWC)
Lor
January 8th, 2006 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

Say, is that Rex and June making a cameo appearance in Sunday’s Phantom?
Hank Kimble
January 8th, 2006 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

Good to see the writers of Gil Thorp are up with the times. Ted’s speaking in third person.
Dr. Laura
January 8th, 2006 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail informs me this morning that the leaves of the cocoa plant contain the drug cocaine! Why am I not getting a buzz from the Swiss Miss I just snorted?
Bill Peschel
January 8th, 2006 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

Lor, Good eyes! That’s gotta be June, with the eye-impaling flip and the chest-impaling hooters.
yellojkt
January 8th, 2006 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

Quit picking on Ted. He’s my hero.
Firegoatness
January 8th, 2006 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

Okay, I went to the Judge Parker link. And learned that Sam Driver is allegedly 33 years old. My ass.
Frank Drackman
January 8th, 2006 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

In Canada the term for “Camel Toe” is “Moose Knuckle”.
Ferd Berfel
January 8th, 2006 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

It’s obvious Ted’s dream job is that of a professional maschocistic slave. Face it, Sally has been whipping on him for years and he hasn’t left, so he must *like* being dominated.

He could rent himself out to wannbe dominatrixs and then get paid big bucks for being whipped and hot waxed.

Then again Mistress Sally might not let him…
mfdshan
January 9th, 2006 at 1:14 am [Reply]

Hillary’s new teacher. She’ll pay dearly for choosing Kitty over Gay Paree.
rich
January 9th, 2006 at 10:13 am [Reply]

93: I think Sally Forth last appeared in the Boston Globe around 1985. Then it may have run briefly in the Herald, about ten years ago.
MLH
January 9th, 2006 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

Divorced Man
Corrupt Television Preacher
Astronaut
Shepherd
Dan Perducci
January 9th, 2006 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

1.) Crossing guard
2.) Ice cream man
3.) Temp worker at suicide hotline
4.) Newspaper delivery
5.) Selling roses at male strip clubs
6.) Dog walker
7.) Starbucks ‘barista’
8.) Personal assistant
9.) Cartoonist – it works for Family Circus!
10). Undercover narc at high school
Johnny Hart
January 11th, 2006 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

I hope wherever Ted lands in his new job, they let him continue to dress like he’s stuck in the 1980’s. Even friggin’ LAW FIRMS don’t make ya wear a tie any more.

Or maybe he should just go the “stay at home dad” route. Clearly Sal is the breadwinner in this family and makes all the rules. Ted should stay home, put on a dress, and keep the Forth homestead nice and tidy, say I.
Dan Perducci
January 11th, 2006 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

110. The ‘necktie’ is comic shorthand for having a career just like the ‘tank top’ is television shorthand for either a meth-head or a wife beater. Hence the slang term ‘wifebeater.’ The stereotypical attire of a tie for a career dad is no more unusual than the lampshade over the head (or the presence of a bimbo dancing with Mr. Lockhorn) indicates that the Lockhorns are at a party!
Johnny Hart
January 13th, 2006 at 12:23 am [Reply]

Dan, you are on to something! Cartoonists seem to love to state the obvious, kind of like when Cathy is talking to her accountant, he’s sitting behind a desk that says “accountant” on it.

Also, in Foob Better And/Or Worst, they ALWAYS show tall evergreens in the background, and snow from October through May, to remind you the strip takes place IN CANADA, DAMMIT.

Next, tell me why “Hi” of “Hi and Lois” fame wears a sweater year-round. Heh…
Mr. Othmar
January 13th, 2006 at 12:34 am [Reply]

For a somewhat realistic idea, I would suggest sending Ted to vet school (as in veterinarian, not a school for â€˜Nam vets) and eventually give him a job as a small animal vet. He could be inspired by the plight of that darn cat that was in a past story line.

Orâ€¦..I see where several variations of â€˜Gay Tedâ€™ or â€˜Gay Porn Tedâ€™ have been suggested. Since Ted appears to enjoy the supporting role and not necessarily the spotlight, maybe Ted could be a fluffer for the actual gay porn stars.

Either that or a televangelist.
marion delgado
February 24th, 2006 at 11:50 am [Reply]

Puleeze. Itâ€™s an open secret that Greg Howard knew a lesbian couple and wanted to do a strip about them, but realized it would never sell.

Hence, Tedâ€™s dialog often includes statements like â€œHoney â€¦ I feel *old*!â€ (looking in a mirror).

Once you realize Sally and Ted are both women, the whole strip makes sense (and is somewhat funny).

(this weirdly ended up on another post)

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