The Comics Curmudgeon

98 responses to “MARK SMASH”

1. Patrick
   December 13th, 2009 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

   Wait, didn’t Rusty get pinned under the car because of a jack that was used on the sand? So now Mark is going to use ANOTHER jack to save him?

   I so very much hope this is going to be an endless loop of a car being raised and smashed down on Rusty while Mark smashes in more and more automotive store windows in the hopes that THIS jack will save his young protege.

2. Crispi
   December 13th, 2009 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

   Pluggers only remember the tagline on the one-sheet for “The Muppet Movie”. Brookins & Box didn’t even write their own joke!

3. Ed Dravecky
   December 13th, 2009 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

   Pluggers sit so close to the TV that a remote control is redundant.

4. Les
   December 13th, 2009 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

   Pluggers watch PSAs that say “Give a hoot, don’t pollute” and smugly misquote classic movies to themselves, vowing to throw garbage on the ground wherever and whenever the darn well please.

   Relatedly, Pluggers are in favor of other sorts of pollution as well, especially terrible accidents with radioactive waste that lead to their unholy mutations into their modern form: from the dust of vaporized nuclear power plant workers falling onto nearby woodlands and farms.

5. Carbunicle
   December 13th, 2009 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

   I thought Cassandra was just a tease but now I see that she is desperate for Sly and Max’s attention. When she saw that they were on their way for their Sunday morning peeping Tommery, she threw herself on the floor so they could get an eyeful. She also raised the sash so the morons could get in to seal the deal.
   What they most definitely cannot see is the coffee or the clock, Unless their physical geometry is a lot more exotic than we’ve been led to expect. By the same token, it is just possible that Cassandra has demurely cocked her right knee towards her median to preserve modesty. The illustration does not provide sufficient clues to be sure one way or another. So it is a tease! O, Cassandra Cat, you’ve done it again!

6. ScienceGiant
   December 13th, 2009 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

   Lots of phallic objects lying on the floor while a sweaty Mark looks at “Old Jack,” dontchathink?

7. Dan9
   December 13th, 2009 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

   I’m a long time lurker, first time commenter, here to say that…

   I didn’t really get today’s Ziggy. I mean, not that Ziggy is ever funny, so to say, but usually I can understand what they’re saying… Grecian formula? What is that even supposed to mean?

8. Ukulele Ike
   December 13th, 2009 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

   Wilbur is playing a Theremin.

9. bourbon babe, unbuckled
   December 13th, 2009 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

   MT: Years later, rural-renewal experts will cite Great Riot of ‘09 ‘59 ‘79 A Few Years Ago, with its out-of-control violence and destruction of property, as the moment when the local commercial district accelerated in its downward slide. Most striking, of course, is that the obliteration of an entire thriving business community old store was the result of one man’s rampage. Scholars speculate that years of strict law-abiding behavior and total sexual and psychic repression, with only occasional emotional displays through sporadic punching, led to an eruption of wanton vandalism unprecedented in its orgasmic frenzy.

10. Gap-Toothed Starey "HOOOO!" Guy
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    I have a quick poll for my fellow ‘mudges.

    I was thinking, after writing my yesterthread comment, about how the things that drive me the most crazy about the comics — the real irrational-anger-inducers — are not the stupid story arcs or the questionable characterizations, but the minor idiosyncrasies: usually little artistic quirks or textual oddities.

    The one that always got to me the most was Les’s hair in Funky Winkerbean, back before the latest jump. I’m so relieved that his hideous, soul-sucking black helmet, apparently constructed of dark matter, bathos and cancer cells, is gone. Paradoxically, I don’t mind him nearly as much now, even though he’s gotten a lot creepier.

    Anyway, what little things in the comics drive you nuts? The random bolding in Mark Trail? Dick Tracy’s tiny, tiny hands? The strangely fluid facial features of the Mary Worth characters?

11. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    7 Dan9: Grecian Formula is hair color for men with gray hair. (No, it’s still not funny.)

    And, welcome!

12. dmac
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    I wonder what pluggers think when they remember Apocalypse Now. “I love the smell of coffee in the morning.”

13. mfj
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    I was kind of hoping for Mark to bust through the window and then find himself in some kind of Pulp Fiction pawnshop situation, only to be rescued by Sassy.

14. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    10 Gap-Toothed Starey “HOOOO!” Guy: It depends on my Irritability Threat Level (today: Code Red), but:
    —The hands in MW are bad enough—misshapen, flaccid, palsied—but the artist does his damnedest to get them into every possible panel, whether they logically belong there or not. You can’t draw the hands? Hide the hands.

    —The fact that every background New Yorker in A3G seems to be working for the Blue Man Group.

    —The “this makes no fucking sense but I don’t care because I need it for my story” physics of Sandman.

15. dmac
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    Also: Jack Elrod was born in 1924, so he is pretty old, but it’s kinda rude of Mark to point that out when he sees his name.

16. Alan's Addiction
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    Today’s “Mary Worth” has several things I’d like to mock. I think that Wilbur’s letter is the equivalent to a letter in the “Penthouse Forum” in the “Mary Worth” universe, as it explicitly acknowledges the possible existence of sex. I also note that Wilbur is trying out the newest defense against rage mail, “air typing.” It’s similar to the old “air guitar,” combined with the classic psychological technique of writing a letter to a person you dislike and never sending it. By simply pretending to type a hate-fueled, expletive-filled e-mail to your current source of anger before writing an actual e-mail, you vent your inner emotions, leaving one calm and rational for the actual correspondence.
    Wow, we’re actually seeing someone more determined to be worthy of our hatred than Ziggy in today’s “Ziggy.” I’m alluding, of course, to that vile brat who thinks a good way to butter up one’s elders is a blatant reference to their age, with a hinted possibility of spray-painting their face.
    The reason why Mark’s perspiring in today’s “Mark Trail:” he’s secretly in a battle of wills between himself and his fists, like Frodo and the One Ring in “Lord of the Rings.” Every time Mark uses violence to solve a problem, it gives his fists greater power over him. Mark’s obviously sweating from the exertion of fighting his own fists and their desire to punch the planet into oblivion, and today he realizes a frightening chink in his psychological armor. Instead of staying by the road to flag down help, or improvising a solution out of available materials, he hiked through a forest to a possibly-abandoned store that might have a jack merely so that he could destroy a window. Mark and his Fists o’ Justice will soon be one and the same.
    Real Pluggers were actually around to see the Civil War the first time; either that or their memories are so bad that they actually can’t remember most of a generation-defining film.

17. Anonamuse
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    Patrick @ 1: Well, of course a jack is prominently and repeatedly featured in this little storyline.

    Did you happen to notice how close the jackelrod ball is placed to the old jack lying on the floor of the store? I think Mr. Elrod suddenly realized that his name and the name of said tool are one and the same! A lightbulb went off in his head! He can use this coincidence to comic effect! Over and over and over… :)

18. Ed Dravecky
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    In panel 1, Wilbur is hunched over the keyboard with his chest on the desk while in panel 2 we can see the waistband of his sweater and his hands flailing uselessly over the keyboard. There is only one explanation: it’s the Rapture and Wilbur is being bodily lifted into heaven, leaving his e-mail unsent and the rest of us to face trials and tribulations.

19. fishmorgjp
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    You never know, maybe Mark will find something really useful, like a bottle of Proton Power Pills that will give him the strength to lift the car off of Rusty and toss it on top of some random facial-haired evil guy who was just walking past.

20. tymime
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    If I hadn’t looked it up just now, I would have gone through life thinking that a “Grecian Formula” was an ancient Greek aphrodisiac and that somehow Ziggy managed to sneak a pedophilia joke into the newspaper. Thank God for Google.

21. Dragon of Life
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers today reveals that Plugger Gone With the Wind in fact stars owls. The quality is slightly improved.

    Mark has not actually found a useful implement to help Rusty; he has found the store’s proprietor, Old Jack, whose mighty beard will distract Mark just long enough for Sassy to be threatened by, oh, let’s say, a squid. (Rusty will turn up later, inexplicably unharmed.)

22. BigTed
    December 13th, 2009 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    You know you’re a Plugger when you use a high-tech cable box and DVR to watch 70-year-old movies on your 23-inch Sylvania.

23. NoahSnark
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    I nominate this Mark Trail for the most unintentionally funny placement of the creators name ever.

24. NoahSnark
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    The Plugger lifestyle of low quality food, bottom shelf alcohol, and spirited denial of reality is bound to cause a few minor memory lapses.

25. Red Greenback
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: I have had it with these gosh-darn snakes on this gosh-darned plane!

26. Kibo
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    Goddammit, I so want a Gumby-like ability to walk into any comic strip just so I can tell Mark Trail what we’re all thinking about how easy it would be to just dig out some sand from under the trapped kid. Why, even a hyperactive little dog could do it. If Mark doesn’t realize the car accident happened on the sandy beach for a reason, I’m gonna tow the car to a concrete surface, shove the kid back under it, and yell “YOU SHOULD’VE DUG HIM OUT WHILE YOU HAD THE CHANCE, RANGER STUPID!”

    I wonder what Mark Trail’s wilderness survival skills actually are. “I need to start a fire, and I have this working blowtorch and a big pile of hay but I don’t have an instruction manual for how to move one near the other! Oh well, I guess I’d better go loot some Tivos! Next up, wilding!”

27. ScienceGiant
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    #15, #23 And here I thought the giant Jack balloon was, like Rover from The Prisoner, seen but never to be mentioned.

28. Poteet
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    MW — Does Josh’s comment mean that Wilbur’s college fornicating definitely took place in the mid-Seventies? Yay! I stopped paying attention to pop music around 1980, but now I can definitely put a soundtrack to Wilbur’s begging, grunting, and flailing about. I can hear it as well as picture it.

    Wait a minute…

29. Benron
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    #4 Les
    Long time lurker, first time poster. The guy who invented Hooty the “Give a Hoot, Don’t Pollute” Owl was in the NY Times obits today. It seems you don’t need much these days to get a full article obit in the Times.

30. Rusty
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    Not seen in MW: Wilbur’s bottle of lotion and box of kleenex.

31. bman
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    Somehow, it wouldn’t surprise me if the Pluggers were the first ever to push TV censorship.

32. Poteet
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    # 7 Dan9 — Welcome! And the way to find out about Grecian Formula is to watch TV news, at least around here. I’ve learned that it enables older men to pick up hot young women, for example.

    # 10 Gap-Toothed — I’m sure I’ll think of many more, but the little thing that immediately leaps to mind is the random cheekbone lines in A3G. They drive me nuts. Also the way characters drastically change appearance in A3G when they turn from frontal view to profile.

    # 26 Kibo — Thank you. “Ranger Stupid” is a keeper.

33. Poteet
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    # 29 Benron — Welcome!

34. bats :[
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    29. Benron: the character’s name is Woodsy Owl. As to knowing his creator, we can all say “Who? Whoo?”. (Just for the record, it was Harold Bell — thank for the NY Times heads-up!)

    And now a strange story. We live in downtown Tucson, and our backyard butts up against a rather large city park (big trees and such). About four times a year, a greated horned owl spends the night there, and we’ll hear it calling. Last night was one of those nights!!! Coincidence? Eerie similarity? Only Mark Trail knows for sure!

35. bunivasal
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

    Old Jack is lying in the corner. “Who are you? What do you want from me?”

36. mr 12 oz can
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    how many storys will mark have to write to pay for that window .would be funny too if the spare tire is one of those donout size but im sure elrod is still driving his 55 desoto so hes never seen one .

37. Digger
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    And so begins Mark’s turn towards the dark side. Next, he’ll probably have to punch out the lonely old store owner, justifying it by saying “I’ve got to get back to Rusty!” When the facial hair begins to show on his previously smooth face, we will know that his transformation is complete.

    What are those boxes on top of the Plugger’s TV set? A cable box? A DVD player? I would have thought Pluggers would only use rabbit ears.

38. Kibo
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    That box on the Plugger’s TV is probably one of those new-fangled digital converter doohickeys the gummint is trying to force us all to buy if we don’t want to throw away our perfectly good black-and-white TVs darnit like when they told us stereo was better for music but all music today is already too loud and those kids I don’t know why they dress like such hooligans it’s gotten so you can’t go out anywhere they got these rappers now.

39. GG
    December 13th, 2009 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    So my favorite thing about today’s Ziggy is that it assumes we’re culturally illiterate. Do we really need a labeled chair to tell us that the fat man with a white beard and a funny costume is Santa? The whole over-labeling thing makes me think the comic is going to be turned into a political cartoon and Ziggy will have to wear a shirt that says “the broken and castrated American spirit” at all times.

40. Black Drazon
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers are so reliant on television that they’ve had their favourite set surgically installed in place of their lower legs.

41. Andy L
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps in the Plugger universe Clark Gable is an owl.

    The real joke is that Pluggers never watched Gone with the Wind, they’ve just heard that line quoted somewhere else. The Simpsons, perhaps.

42. Edgy DC
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    Me talking to my grandkids in 2055: “Yup! December 13 was the day Mark Trail became an anarchist. It was Saturday and it was beautiful.”

43. Uncle Lumpy
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    “Of all the soda parlors in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

44. Écureuil Écumant
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    @37 Digger: Pluggers are too cheap to buy rabbit ears. Instead they call their nephew who’s a whiz with these newfangled gizmos. He tells them to just use a bent coat hanger. They call him back in an hour and say it doesn’t work worth shit, and besides their hands are all full of splinters now because the hangers kept on snapping instead of bending.

45. Andy L
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    Memo to Cassandra Cat : You can let Slylock and the mouse peak up your robe all day long, but it’s not going to help if it’s not into cats. If you’re absolutely determined to get your hands on that foxy private dick, perhaps you could get Count Weirdly to use science to turn you into a vixen.

46. Andy L
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    Bah. That should read “…if HE’S not into cats.”

47. Andy L
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth :
    I love how comic strip artists never look at a real keyboard for a visual reference. So, of course, their keyboards always come out as a solid rectangular mass of buttons, of the sort you’d see in a sci-fi movie from the 50s.
    Mark Trail :
    Ok, have they explained why mark is breaking into a store marked “GROCERIES”? I know that Mark is a robot that doesn’t eat food, but as a naturist surely he can understand that a jack is not the sort of thing that carbon based life can eat?

48. Sister Sestina
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    Hell, I’m lucky if I can remember who played Rhett Butler. (Generally my answer is “Not Cary Grant, I know that.” Thanks, Andy L, for mentioning Clark Gable or I would’ve shamed myself with IMDB again.) Then again I’ve never been able to sit through “Gone With the Wind”, the character of Scarlett scrapes iron fingernails on the chalkboard of my mind.

49. Mr. O'Malley
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

    The Ira F. Brilliant Center for Beethoven Studies at San Jose State and the Charles M. Schulz Museum and Research Center in Santa Rosa will celebrate the composer’s birthday Wednesday, December 16 by posting online music files for the tunes featured in Peanuts comic strips. The pieces Charlie Brown’s pal Schroeder pounded out on his toy piano were Beethoven classics. The files will be posted on the American Beethoven Society website.

    Read more on “Schulz’s Beethoven: Schroeder’s Muse.”
    http://www.sjsu.edu/news/news_detail.jsp?id=3010

    Visit the Beethoven Center website.
    http://www.sjsu.edu/beethoven/events/birthday.html

    Visit the American Beethoven Society website.
    http://www.americanbeethovensociety.org

50. Harold
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    Where did Mark find the depth charge that he threw though that window? Was it something that washed up on the beach?
    http://beachcombersalert.org/HazardousFlotsam.html

    In panel 2 of Mary Worth, Wilbur is no longer crouching at the computer in a chair that is positioned six inches lower than it should be. He is now standing up and off to the side, remembering his groovy times in college and playing air keyboard – specifically, the keyboard solo from “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.”

51. ElkMeadow
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    Put Pants On Ziggy!

    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=info&ref=nf&gid=231308471146

52. Andy L
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    Depthcharge? I had assumed that it was a comically oversized lantern battery.

53. Charterstoned
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    MT – Mark seems to be tossing one of the same toxic waste drums that was featured two storylines ago. (I guess that’s okay, because it’s Mark tossing it and not a couple of gangsters.) And isn’t that another one of those pesky drums lying in the corner near Old Jack? I’ll tell you what, for being a pristine wildlife sanctuary, Lost Forest certainly has more than your average community’s supply of toxic waste.

54. Jumper
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    I’m literally drooling, waiting for the cop, Rod Steiger, to show up and give Mark a bunch of crap, trying to arrest him, delaying him, risking Rusty, not believing him, dragging out the misapprehension of Mark’s motives, until finally Mark lashes out, punching the fat cop, shouting “They call me MR. TRAIL!”

55. commodorejohn
    December 13th, 2009 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

    Y335 bats :[ – Not a chance ;)

    A3G – Margo can thwart the weather with her mind.

    Blondie – *insert Child’s Play joke here*

    Crankshaft – Ho-ho-holy shit, not even Christmas is safe from the relentless negativism of Tom Batiuk. The Grinch only wanted some peace and quiet; Tom Batiuk actually hates Christmas itself.

    Curtis – Well there’s something you don’t see every day.

    DT – I’m no violinist, but I’m pretty sure that’s the most awkward possible way to hold one. Also, I think generally the bowhair goes against the strings.

    FW – Christ, what an asshole.

    MT – Merry Animalmas, everybody!

    MW – My God! The computer…it has a space bar! And an enter key! It’s almost like Joe Giella actually looked at a computer keyboard! Also, they’re not just good cookies, they’re Best Cookies!

    MC – See, Shoe? That’s how to fit multiple jokes into one Sunday strip! You know, with transitions and all that stuff!

    PBS – So where do I go to sign the petition?

    Phantom – I know it’s nearly as long-standing of a tradition as the chainmail bikini, but form-fitting plate mail just kind of falls into the Uncanny Valley of clothing, if you ask me. It makes her look too much like a lady version of C-3P0.

    PV – Holy bleep, this strip does not hold back. Prince Valiant does more in three panels a week than other legacy strips do in 21.

    RMMD – So June’s cousin doesn’t even know her husband?

    SFx – Woo-hoo, looks like another installment of Slylock Fox: After Dark!

    SM – Does Big Shot just keep video clips of his hostages on his phone to watch whenever he gets bored? That’s kind of hilarious.

    Edison Lee – lists off random science-sounding names every now and again in an attempt to gain the reputation he’s always desired as the Oliver Wendell Jones of the 21st century. Poser.

56. Aviatrix
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    @52 Andy L. I thought it was an old furnace, or perhaps an oil storage tank that he had dug up from underground, using an old shovel that he found propped against the old doorway of the old store.

57. Baka Gaijin
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    #50 Harold on Mark Trail: Yesterthread I guessed a giant electrolytic capacitor. I stand by that. I also said it was “So Spiderman.” I stand by that too, especially after seeing the comically huge vacuum cleaner this week.

58. Ed Dravecky
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    At the movies with Pluggers…

    “English, Mother Superior, do you speak it?”

    “Gee willikers, it’s full of stars!”

    “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the Dining Room!”

    “I have come here to chew bubblegum and collect stamps… and I’m all out of bubblegum.”

    “You maniacs! You blew it up! Oh, dang you! Gosh dang you all to tarnation!”

59. Aviatrix
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    I took a poll and got “garbage pail” and “ashtray,” as in “back in the day when the artist probably lived, every building had an ashtray in front of it.”

60. ironflange
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    I don’t think anyone has commented on the utter absurdity of the notion that Wilbur actually got laid in college.

61. queek
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

    58: “get your hands off me, you darn unwashed primates!”

62. Baka Gaijin
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    #60 ironflange: Check out my post yesterthread on the topic. It may not make much sense but has this storyline made any more sense?

63. LUJBEM FEJF
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    Jumble- After their ill fated try at professional skiing, these young beatniks have failed once again, this time at something they were really suited for. Remember kids…. “Rhyme” doesn’t pay! Just Say No! Just Do It! Give a Hoot, Don’t Pollute. …and a whole bunch of other one-line life lessons.

64. Dagger
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: It’s funny because the economy is suffering and numerous retail stores will be shuttered after failing to meet their holiday quota, meaning the local shopping establishment will only thrive on DeadMalls.com! Merry Christmas from Tom Batiuk!

65. Andy L
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    So … we’re all agreed that Eric will turn out to be alive after all and Margo will be furious that she can’t keep the money, right?

66. Baka Gaijin
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    #65 Andy: I hadn’t even thought of that. Oh I hope it’s true.

67. agony
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

    Can’t think of Grecian Formula without remembering Rocket Richard skating up to the camera with lampblack hair – “Two minutes for looking so good”…

68. Dentuck
    December 13th, 2009 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    A Plugger strolls down Movie Memory Lane:

    “I have a feeling we’re not in Wal*Mart anymore, Toto.”

    “Mirror, mirror, on the wall / Where’d I put that pack of Pall Malls?”

    “Mexicans? We don’t need no stinkin’ Mexicans.”

    “Win one for Ronald Reagan!”

69. Andy L
    December 13th, 2009 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    Plugger movie moment :
    “I’m mad as heck, and I’m not going to try any more”

70. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    December 13th, 2009 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to actually read the site. I don’t know if it’s because my new computer has Windows 7 but I’m no longer getting the standard version of your site. It comes up all funky and I have to press different buttons to see your writing and then to see the postings. I’ve tried leaving postings but if I hit PREVIEW it knocks me out completely.

71. Muffaroo
    December 13th, 2009 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    Somebody is trying to be Mr. Mum. Well, I remember Mr. Mum. I used to read Mr. Mum. And Ziggy…? You are no Mr. Mum.

72. Wolf Shepard
    December 13th, 2009 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    My initial reaction to Mark’s widow breaking was, “Wow, that guy must be strong. Those old hot water heaters are heavy.

73. Aaron
    December 13th, 2009 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: I happened to read today’s Crankshaft without having read the rest of the week’s strips, so the last panel sounded like poorly translated nonsense.

    “If Chase wants to have some firewood… he’s more than welcome.”

    “I will not buy this tobacconist’s; it is scratched.”

74. mic mac
    December 13th, 2009 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    And then, several curious emails later, Wilbur realized that thinking and waving his hands over the keyboard wouldn’t actually send his message. He would have to find a new dance.

75. Carrie ForthWorth
    December 13th, 2009 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    Darn it, had this all typed out once, hit the wrong key and it all vanished.

    #10 Yes, random facial feature changes and mobile furniture in MW do it.

    Anachronistic speech and hairdos in MT.

    The hideousness of the Burber women.

    That bitch Nancy DeGroot.

    Just a few things that drive me nuts.

    #65 I had Eric marked as “not dead” ever since we haven’t seen his broken body. I’m also willing to be he didn’t leave her money, he stuck her with the Gallery.

    CC has got me reading quite a few comics that don’t appear in my local paper. Now dammit you’ve go me reading Phantom!! So who’s going to explain to me why you call him stripeybutt?

76. Sheila Sternwell
    December 13th, 2009 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    #2 Crispi – Wasn’t the tagline “More Entertaining than Humanly Possible”? I would love to see a Muppet Movie GWTW spoof poster, though.

    MW: Sadly, I think the explanation is that poor Wilbur was so defeated by the memories of his few sexual encounters lo these many decades ago that, in the first panel, he could only de-slouch enough for his chest to barely become keyboard level. In the second panel he’s summoned up all his pride and straightened up… a whole 2 inches.

77. Lawyerbob
    December 13th, 2009 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    MW: Wilbur is doing his best Glenn Gould imitation in panel one. I’m sure he’s actually singing his words as he types them.

    MT: How fortunate indeed that the abandoned store just happened to have an old jack. Mark’s sweating because he was really hoping to find an old car he could drive off, or an old little boy that he could use to replace that annoying twerp under the car.

    Pluggers: I think that Plugger is remembering the tagline from an old porno he saw back in ‘49. “Pluggers remember when you had to go our wearing a raincoat and a hat over your eyes if you wanted to watch porn.”

78. Harold
    December 13th, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    Carrie @ 75: Just wait’ll you get a look at his butt. Even if we accept that the purple berries he uses to dye his clothing somehow allow him to vanish into the shadows, his striped briefs don’t make any sense.

    I wonder if Dean Booth will arrange to have Mark Trail smah that window open with a jack. But until then I guess we can imagine that that drum was filled with jacks.

    I’m thinking Mark’s rescue plan is going to involve a snorkel made from a length of garden hose and the sincere hope that the tide lifts the car off of Rusty.

79. Nekrotzar
    December 13th, 2009 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    I think the only plausible explanation for the text of Wilbur’s email is that he doesn’t actually know where babies come from.

80. Red Greenback
    December 13th, 2009 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: In space no one can hear you bark.

81. Carly
    December 13th, 2009 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    There’s something amusing about “That looks like an old jack” right above Jack Elrod’s signature bubble. It’d be funnier if the bubble was talking, though.

    I don’t understand the “joke” in Ziggy. Because of my awkward pre-teen years when everyone else knew more about sexual euphemisms than I did and would tease me about it, I always assume jokes I don’t understand are some kind of sexual metaphor. In which case, I don’t want to understand this one, probably.

82. dasein
    December 13th, 2009 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    #23— I second that motion! I actually laughed out loud. Not just a little chuckle but a sudden and self-startling guffaw. I got some odd looks from the rest of my family…

83. Jumper
    December 13th, 2009 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    The little wavy cartoonist’s line coming out of the Plugger’s TV is nicely suggestive of the fetid funk of stale depression, ennui, and horrible emptiness that nowadays goes with watching Gone With the Wind, alone, for the 67th time.

84. Earthgirl
    December 13th, 2009 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers are so scandalized by extremely mild swear words that they bowdlerize classic movie quotes, even in their own minds.

    *sigh* My own mother is a plugger. I have suspected it for awhile now… She gets offended by such vulgarities as “effing” and “screwed.” She did not raise me to say such things, and clearly I must have picked them up in an attempt to impress my friends. (I’m 24, not 13.)

85. queek
    December 13th, 2009 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    84: mmmm, Earth Girls

86. Poor Thompson
    December 14th, 2009 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    #10 Gap Toothed Starey “Hoooo!” Guy – One thing I’ve noticed that happens a lot is when a cartoonist has a character ring a doorbell in one panel, and forgets to draw it in subsequent panels. This happens with coat racks sometimes, too. It also bugs me when characters have disproportionally large and/or misshapen noses, Baby Blues and Doonesberry being frequent offenders.

    #39 CG- I like the thought that perhaps somewhere out there (and not necessarily on this planet), somebody actually is studying Ziggy in order to learn about our culture. The chair should include “Claus” however, so as to distinguish from Santa Anna. At least this isn’t Herb & Jamal, which would probably refer to “That fat, generous bearded guy everyone’s talking about.”

87. Edgy DC
    December 14th, 2009 at 12:39 am [Reply]

    “But I think she would have told me if we had a son. Had we had a daughter… well, naturally, her shame and silence would have been perfectly understandable. And her recent demise would have probably been a relief.”

88. Toby Bartels
    December 14th, 2009 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    I originally read the title of this page as ‘MARK SLASH’ instead of ‘MARK SMASH’. But I read it anyway.

89. Daniel
    December 14th, 2009 at 2:29 am [Reply]

    The only thing worse than Ziggy visiting Santa is Ziggy BEING Santa.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2L9LbfA-MI

90. Thinks He's Brenda Starr
    December 14th, 2009 at 3:06 am [Reply]

    In this edition of Mary Worth, we see Wilbur doing what he does best: writing milquetoast letters of advice. This is clearly where his passions lie. He looks intense, almost angry as he writes his powerful opening: “I did know your mother in college… she was an amazing girl!…” (my heart is fluttering), and he stands to pound out the stinging button to his letter, like a concert pianist giving the grand finale: “You have my sincere condolences on her passing… but I think she would have told me if we had a son!” Pow! Oh, it’s great to see an expert advice columnist turning out his craft.

91. tom
    December 14th, 2009 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    Dear Jack Elrod,
    It’s the year 2009, WHY DOESN”T MARK TRAIL HAVE A CELL PHONE? My 73 year old mother has a cell phone, but not Mark? Most kids Rusty’s age have one (it’s like it’s attached to my son) but not Rusty. Is Jack Elrod living in 1965 and passing his strips through a vortex in the time space continuim?

92. Dan
    December 14th, 2009 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    I just assumed Mark was acting out a scene from the 1989 classic Do the Right Thing as part of an ongoing Spike Lee retrospective.

    Next week is Malcom X week, when we’ll hear some stunning oratories about how we didn’t land on Lost Forest; Lost Forest landed on us.

93. mark
    December 14th, 2009 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Several people have commented on Mark Trail spotting an “old jack” just where Jack Elrod’s signature bubble hovers. I think there’s an important theological nugget hidden there.

    An “old jack” is what’s going to save Rusty. Not Mark himself — mighty though his fists may be. All depends on “old jack” — who gives animation to every plant and creature in the Lost Forest; and who may drop the car on Rusty and drown him in the rising tide, or who may, according to his own whim, reappear to offer Rusty salvation. Nothing the characters do will make a difference, except their belief in “old jack.”

94. Weatherfordsbury Cockstandard
    December 15th, 2009 at 4:24 am [Reply]

    Hey Josh, have you ever seen the Ziggy Christmas special? Actually pretty well-done, from what I’ve seen of it. It’s called Ziggy’s Gift, and it was up here on YouTube last I checked. Enjoy!

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    In panel two, the desk seems to have miraculously dropped by two or three inches, which explains why Wilbur’s fingers are just flailing about in the air two inches above the keyboard.
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