The Comics Curmudgeon

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Blondie, directed by David Lynch

Mark Trail, 12/13/09

The hilarious “Rusty in peril” plot dominating the weekday strips prove that Mark Trail has changed its core mission from “wildlife education” to “gleeful sadism.” Today’s installment offers further evidence, as Mark finally seems to acknowledge that Cherry needs to love, and to be loved, before abandoning her to have fun party times with Andy the dog. Much of the rest of the imagery in the strip is allegorical, with the ludicrously sad-eyed puppy in the middle bottom panel representing Cherry’s emotional devastation, and the terrifying devil-cat in the first panel representing her ever-growing rage.

The rightmost panel in the middle row, meanwhile, offers a unique in-fireplace perspective, and presumably stands in for the eternal punishment that awaits any wanna-be Santas who would give an unwanted animal as gift. Mark and Andy will be right there to watch you cast into the hellfire, animal abuser!

Blondie, 12/13/09

This may be the most unsettling Blondie yet produced. Those who don’t get to see the throwaway panels are missing the full effect, as Dithers creepily demands that Dagwood close his eyes as he approaches with his sinister doll — presumably so the tiny monster’s little face is the first thing he sees when he opens them again, and he can be more easily hypnotized. Dagwood’s stunned silence in the antepenultimate and penultimate panels are the behavior you’d expect from someone given an evil little homunculus, but the fact that he’s brought it home is evidence that he’s under its power. Soon it will tell him to kill.

Slylock Fox, 12/13/09

Also, Slylock and Max have been lurking outside that window for hours, watching Cassandra walking around in her little bathrobe, so if anything like that happened they would have noticed.

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 13, 2009 at 07:23 pm and is filed under Blondie, Mark Trail, Slylock Fox. |

220 responses to “Blondie, directed by David Lynch”

150
December 13th, 2009 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

The color on my newspaper was, as usual, a little off-center, giving Cassandra Cat’s lips a curiously smudged look.

Just, uh, noting it.
Mr.Death
December 13th, 2009 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

That entire Blondie works as a “that’s what she said” joke.
Black Drazon
December 13th, 2009 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

I totally just thought Mark was roasting a fish in that fireplace panel. “And believe me, pets need a great deal of attention, or else you won’t get them medium-well!”
150
December 13th, 2009 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

Oh my gosh, I finally get first post and that’s what I blow it on? Cassandra Cat’s mussed-up makeup?
JamesMurton
December 13th, 2009 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

Look at the look of disgust on Mark’s face in that last panel. Disgust with himself for not giving that cat a right hook two panels back.
Andy L
December 13th, 2009 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

I would like to propose an alternate caption.

Mystery : Cassandra Cat has been unconscious for the last three hours, sprawled out on the floor in a bathrobe, and is only now waking up. Since she is not within arms’ reach of a telephone and could not have called for help, how is it that Slylock Fox and Max Mouse already have their heads in the window?
Rusty
December 13th, 2009 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

Blondie: Rather than something exciting like telling Dag to kill, the mini-me will just hound him to complete the TPC reports.
Johnny Q
December 13th, 2009 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

Slylock and Max can see Cassandra’s crotch!
Andy L
December 13th, 2009 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

Answer : After testing them on a baby hippo, Slylock slipped roofies into Cassandra’s hot tea and had his way with her. (Which, presumably, mostly involved lecturing her about logical deduction, and quizzing her with word puzzles that, in her groggy state, she couldn’t possibly solve.) After giving her a second dose of doped tea to put her out completely and hopefully blur her memories, he left to find Max Mouse to go back and “discover” Cassandra and accuse her of preparing to commit insurance fraud, thus ensuring that no one would believe any confused testimony of any of the evening’s events that she managed to remember.
ChrisV82
December 13th, 2009 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

Cassandra Cat just made me feel in ways I’m not entirely comfortable with.
Patrick
December 13th, 2009 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

I always thought that the “glass ceiling” was a metaphor, but apparently, Dagwood and Dithers work right on top of it.

Either that, or their office is built in the middle of a skating rink.
Angry Kem
December 13th, 2009 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

Uh…Cassandra’s tiny bathrobe is, uh, arranged to show her…uh…

I mean…Max and Shylock are looking right at her…uh…

This may be the filthiest Shylock Fox ever.
Andy L
December 13th, 2009 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

Who am I kidding? Slylock isn’t that clever.

I’m sure What really happened was that Cassandra had made an appointment with Slylock on some pretext, and then made up this little mystery in the hopes that Slylock Fox would discover her injured and would play the romantic role of some sort of avenging white knight. Slylock, once again, misses the hint and assumes that Cassandra is planning a scam.

This is ridiculous, of course, but it ranks on the same level of plausibility as Count Weirdly’s evil schemes.
bman
December 13th, 2009 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

I think I prefer the strips with Dithers screaming threats over the strips where he shows an eerily deep interest in his employee. At this point, Dagwood is one year away from receiving a photo album of Dithers in erotic poses.
Jackuul
December 13th, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

I always knew Slylock was a perv, but I never thought the mouse would be in on it too.
Andy L
December 13th, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

Re: Six Differences
Look at how that tent is set up. That kid is going to kill himself if he has to wake up in the middle of the night for any reason.
Greg
December 13th, 2009 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

Kids, don’t let this happen to you this holiday season:

http://www.greganddrew.com/?m=200906

–Mark Trail
Andy L
December 13th, 2009 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

This is a disturbing, but hilarious, trend. Here’s another episode where Cassandra (from back before she died her fur white) is incapacitated and Slylock and Max are the first on the scene before she’s had the opportunity to call for help.
http://joshreads.com/?p=979

And while we’re at it, here’s another instance of Slylock and Max showing up at Cassandra’s house while she’s in a bathrobe.
http://joshreads.com/?p=1387

(Her feet looked like paws back then. Her current feet look sort of weird in comparison. Maybe she’s wearing socks that exactly match her fur?)
Brent
December 13th, 2009 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

Clearly Max is getting “an education.” As for Slylock, I’m guessing he’s seen it all, and probably much closer than Max will ever get. (Cassandra committing a crime and Slylock catching her is all a part of a very elaborate type of foreplay.)
Andy L
December 13th, 2009 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

If my boss started giving out action figures of himself, I think all office productivity would stop as we thought up and executed increasingly creative ways of destroying the figures.
Harold
December 13th, 2009 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

How can you not mention the image of Mary Worth and Chester / Ralphie in the top right panel of Mark Trail? “Recent studies have shown that the elderly get along better when they have a pet to love. If that pet is suddenly taken away by its REAL owner, they tend to revert to being meddling old coots whose advice does more harm than good.”
Brick Bradford
December 13th, 2009 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

SF I don’t think Shylock and Max are looking at the coffee cup, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Nekrotzar
December 13th, 2009 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail is giving a lot of thought to ‘regifting’ Rusty.
commodorejohn
December 13th, 2009 at 8:04 pm [Reply]

The thing I love about this community is that at least three other people had the same thought I did re: the positioning of Cassandra’s bathrobe.
Andy L
December 13th, 2009 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

Brick, From his angle, Slylock can’t even *SEE* the coffee cup he’s supposedly basing his deduction off of. By the well established rules of this comic strip that automatically makes him the culprit.
Nekrotzar
December 13th, 2009 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

Cassandra claims that a ring was stolen from her finger at 7:30. Why does Slylock know this is a scam?

A: Because Slylock knows exactly where that finger was at 7:30.
Uncle Lumpy
December 13th, 2009 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

Trauma Pup is beautifully rendered; Cherry looks like somebody’s first try with a rubber stamp kit.

Panel 7 confirms Josh’s diagnosis of “gleeful sadism”: “returning an animal as an unwanted present” doesn’t mean the animal was a present — or is even yours. Pretty damn dark, even for a guy who spends his weekdays drowning orphans for our amusement.
SF_Reader
December 13th, 2009 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

MW – So what’s the deal with Wilbur? Did he pay his way through college being a sperm donor or something? He certainly didn’t have casual sex with this woman back in the 70s. First of all, he’s really ugly. Secondly, no way, even now in the 21st century, would the Mary Worth comic syndication condone pre maritial sex, by not only admitting its existence, but by having a main character, a resident of Charterstone, participating in it.
Poteet
December 13th, 2009 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

SLYLOCK — Much as I’d like to join the happy voyeuristic chorus, I can’t bring myself to believe that Slylock and Max are looking at Cassandra’s treasure. Their eyes seem instead to be focused on her head, as if they really want to know whether she’s going to part her hair with her, um, front paw.
Poteet
December 13th, 2009 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

Monday Spoilers

LUANN — In which we see Luann & Co. from the point of view of a bunch of seniors, and it’s not a pretty sight.

REFOOB — In which we see John portrayed as a clueless tool. How unexpected.
mollificent
December 13th, 2009 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

Late overslept snark:

PmP: Hahahahahaha!! That was great.

Retail: OK, full disclosure, I actually like Christmas music (and listen to it at work, but mostly folky/non-cheesy stuff). But Norm Feuti, I want to hug you. I love this strip.
survivor
December 13th, 2009 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail’s monologue had to be prompted by Cherry’s pleas of, “Will you ever make love to me, Mark!?! I have needs!”
Kacper
December 13th, 2009 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail: Surely I’m not the only one who noticed the strategic placement of the phallic-shaped log in the fireplace panel?
Les of the Jungle Patrol
December 13th, 2009 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

I think that’s Sassy in panel 3 of Mark Trail. Much beloved for his noble role in Rusty’s demise / removal by child protective services.
KT
December 13th, 2009 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

I just learned that there is an animal native to Australia called the “quoll”. Here is a picture of a quoll:
http://kinkyturtle.masemware.com/pictures/other/Luann20091207quoll.gif
Écureuil Écumant
December 13th, 2009 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

MT: Panel 6: Rusty’s been bad this year. But it’s Santa who’s having to pay the price.
Carly
December 13th, 2009 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

You know, right before I read the SF, I was thinking that it must be really hard to come up with those puzzles every week. The comic seems to bear that out, since I’m pretty sure SF has used the steaming coffee gambit before.

The MT puppy with the big creepy eyes is clearly Rusty in dog form.
odinthor
December 13th, 2009 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

SlFx. –

Oh Death where is thy sting?
I don’t care cause I’ve seen everything!

—Eddie Cantor in Roman Scandals (1933), having penetrated the calidarium of quite a large number of young Roman ladies keeping young and beautiful.

And when was the last time you penetrated a young lady’s calidarium?
Ed Dravecky
December 13th, 2009 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

Is Mark going to hold the salmon until it cooks or is he just tossing it on the fire to appease his Lost Forest gods?
KT
December 13th, 2009 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

What’s everybody talking about?

[finally looks at today's Slylock Fox]

…whoa.
Joe Blevins
December 13th, 2009 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

SF&CFK: I have two things to say to Mr. Bob Weber, Jr: (1) This is blatant fanservice. (2) Thank you.

MT: There are many things I expect to see in Mark Trail. Mary Worth being licked is not one of them.
billman
December 13th, 2009 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

PBS – Pastis now has a CC style T-shirt slogan that could sell even better than anything with Bippy: No Pants, No Peace! Too bad he probably wouldn’t get away with putting Ziggy on it.
Jamus The Bartender
December 13th, 2009 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

Slylock Fox: *sighhhhh* Here we go….
The Cat And The Curmudgeon
Gift Of The Magi-Cassandra’s Way

Well…..gotta tell ya, the holidays….always a bit stressful. Still, I was sort of hoping the hijinks would be kept to a minimum now that the baby is soon to be due, and also that we’ve got a new house, as you can see above, where Cass is all spread-eagle showing Slylock and Max her nethers…once again, thank you Bob Weber, for not showing how far along she is……AND her recent reunion with her mother which I will tell you about, I promise.
But, first, this thing.
As I said, money was a little tight, what with the bar opening up, but I still wanted to get Her Highness something nice for Christmas.
” How about an engagement ring?” she said, her teeth bared. “You kinda have to. Mom’s a nun, you know.”
” I know, I know……any alternative ideas?”
She thought a minute. “Baby radio. We gotta have one of those.”
A baby radio it was, then.
On the way back from Radio Shack, I passed by the jeweler’s, looking over some engagement rings.
I could ask her to steal some, I thought….
Naahhh…that’s tacky, even for her.
I headed home……Cass was visiting the girls in her baby class…..Violet Chihuahua-Doberman if you don’t mind, and Delilah, one of the Charterstone clique.
I rummaged through my collection of comic book paraphenilia. Some early Claremont/Byrne X-men, one Junior Justice Society decoder wheel, and …best of all, a 1939 wooden Superman doll, and I had enough to make a down payment on an engagement ring.
Yes. An engagement ring. I mean, she’s about ready to pop, and it was reaching the point where lots of people besides Mary Worth were giving your humble narrator the ol’ stink eye.
And the next morning, John the comic book guy from over in Funky Winkerbean was the owner of a wooden Superman doll, the JJSA decoder, and the assorted comics.
Anyway, most of the morning was a blur. I figured if I didn’t think about it too much, i’d be okay. Bad idea, I know, but sometimes it’s good to just do.
Which is sort of how I got here in the first place…but anyway, I figured, something cute, like finding the ring in her Christmas stocking, or wrapping it in a succession of boxes, each one smaller than the next, with the smallest holding the ring.
As is the case in these things, real life soon took over. Dick’s car was out front. So was Slylock’s Foxmobile….sure, he’s got one. He has a fox-jet, paid for by Mr. Arbuckle himself, you don’t think he’s gonna have a cool ride?
I ran inside the house, to witness Cassandra sitting on the floor, with Max holding a damp cloth to her head, and Slylock and Dick Tracy giving the place the once-over.
I kneeled before Cassandra to see if she was okay. ” What happened honey?”
She could turn those tears on like a faucet. ” Baby, my….my….my diamond ring was stoooolen….I got konked on the head while I was making your breakfaaast…* sniff*..an’…an’….an’…someone stooole it…”
While Max was getting Cass some water, she whispered to me, ” Play along and we’ve got some sweet cash for Christmas.”
Dick didn’t miss a thing. ” Diamond ring, huh? Guess you finally popped the question, huh Jamus?”
Slylock took note of the teacup and other assorted breakfast implements that had been left untouched by the alleged b-and-e.
How sweet. Cassandra was planning to get me a present by way of insurance fraud. Well, it seemed there was only one way to keep us both out of jail, with me as a possible accessory.
While heads were turned, I took the ring out of it’s little black box. The diamond wasn’t very big, just a few karats, never mind how many…..
“Oh, you must mean this ring, Cassandra. Mister Burglar must have dropped it on the way out of the house.”
If it were possible, Cassandra’s jaw would have hit the ground.
Slylock and Max’s eyes went wide as saucers.
I crooked my eyebrow up slightly, and smiled. And Jamus takes the game.
“What do you say, baby?” I asked.
It was the first time i’d seen her speechless……she just nodded her head a few times and threw herself into my arms.
And, as Slylock, Max, and Dick Tracy, the latter of whom was too busy trying to keep from laughing out loud, all knew, a husband cannot testify against his wife in court.
Like i’d let my daughter come into the world while her mother was wearing prison orange.
C’mmmaahhhhnnn.
>Fin<
ironflange
December 13th, 2009 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

She might as well claim Weirdly ravished her while she was unconscious. “See? The webcam was on.”

Second thought: That’s something I really don’t want to see.
Phred22
December 13th, 2009 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

Now could we have Dagwood asking his black co-worker where he could find a voodoo practitioner?
Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
December 13th, 2009 at 9:09 pm [Reply]

It looks like Cherry got Mark a second shirt for Christmas. Oh, and it matches all her pink polo shirts. Now they can be twinsies! Or at least they could, if they ever spent any time together.
fishmorgjp
December 13th, 2009 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

Woo… in “six differences,” that kid must be cookin’ up one stinkin’ hot dog.
Soccerhead
December 13th, 2009 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

BB: Beetle is Buxley’s boyfriend?
When did this become official?
Zippy: You would rather be trying to wipe chili off your good clothes?
NS: What exactly is the point that Obviousman is trying to make anyway?
Jamus The Bartender
December 13th, 2009 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

Yeah, there were other cartoon’s today, too.
Mark Trail: Preaching to the choir, my friend, preaching to the choir…..
Blondie: Mister Dithers gets one cool point for dressing the Mini-Dithers in red. If he can make him talk backwards like in Twin Peaks, that’s ten cool points.
DtM: Another Sketchy Santa. I remember reading a DtM comic book story where Mister Wilson was roped into taking “Santa Claus ” classes so sick orphans could see Kris Kringle or something, and i’m SURE that the Reindeer 8 were part of the curriculum. We are truly in the end times.
Funky Winkerbean: Wow. Dude, to paraphrase #21 from Venture Bros., “You are getting no sex. NO SEX!!”
My Cage: You too, Jeff. NO SEX !!
9CL: Air Gene Kelly. Well, it makes about as much sense as a six year old girl putting her bald headed neighborhood pal through psychotherapy for five cents. Schultz did it better, though.
Doonesbury: Preachin’ to the choir, boys, preachin’ to the choir. :)
wossname
December 13th, 2009 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

43 Jamus – OMG, you have outdone yourself, and that’s a major achievement.
Anselm
December 13th, 2009 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

I for one am hoping that the little Mr. Dithers becomes a regular character with a speaking role.
Jamus The Bartender
December 13th, 2009 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

50. Thanks, wossname :) I think Bob Weber gave her a diamond ring on purpose, though.
Anselm
December 13th, 2009 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

By the way a Dilbert strip of a number of years ago had Dilbert with a small stuff dolled of his pointy haired boss sitting on his computer monitor. The boss was flattered when he saw it. After he left, Dilbert smacked it.
Anselm
December 13th, 2009 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

dolled = doll
Lance
December 13th, 2009 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

MW – Notice Wilbur re-wrote his Facebook reply today, this time including a quick and vague kiss-off (though at least he purged the dirty parts). By tomorrow, he’ll probably scrap the whole message and the kid’ll see a note: “Wilbur Weston poked you. Poke back?”
zerowolf
December 13th, 2009 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

If they make Slylock Fox into a live action movie, Casandra Cat will be played by Sharon Stone.
Digger
December 13th, 2009 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

Here’s an outtake from today’s Mark Trail that didn’t make the final cut:

Mark: “All of us need to love and to be loved, Cherry.”
(Cherry takes this as her cue to embrace Mark)
Mark: “Get off me, you skank!”

Max: “How do you know Cassandra is lying, Slylock?”
Slylock: “She isn’t wearing any underwear.”
Max: “What does that have to do with insurance fraud?”
Slylock: “Insurance fraud? What the hell are you talking about?”
Stroker Ace
December 13th, 2009 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

SlyFx – Best ‘Clue’ solution ever: bathrobe clad Cassandra on the kitchen floor w/ her bare finger. What a way to go!
Digger
December 13th, 2009 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

For a supposed deductive genius, Slylock is pretty dense. Cassandra is lying there waiting for him in a loose-fitting bathrobe with her nether-regions exposed. How obvious does she have to be? Slylock needs to wake up and smell the coffee which is still steaming on the table.
Yolm
December 13th, 2009 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

SF: This strip is NOT unintentional!
Mibbitmaker
December 13th, 2009 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

Luann: If she were giving a present to Ignatz mouse, she wouldn’t need the gift certificate.
“T’anx, Luann dollink!” — Krazy Kat

A3G: Well, Margo, he deserved better than you, too, truth be told.

JP: Good — now do you mind telling US?

RMMD: “…That’s why you and me are moving in with your Uncle Melvin upstate for a couple days, Honey.”

MW: “…Well, the life sucks, but it is different.”

MT: Andy: “It’s about time I got some attention in this furshlugginer strip! Enough with ‘Sassy the Child-Crushing Mutt’ already!”
Great deal of attention, indeed!

Marvin: Next panel, Groucho says: “No, but you’ll make a great husband.”

S-M: Monty Hall, you stay out of this!

ZtP: “Spillage Factor”? You mean the “No Clean Zone”?

HtH: There’s NO food that can’t be equated with death!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 13th, 2009 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

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A lonely middle-aged man, recently abandoned by the only woman to love him in the last decade, is contacted by the son he never knew he had—the product of his first experience of passion!

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BigTed
December 13th, 2009 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

I can’t see why Cherry would be jealous of Mark’s relationship with Andy the dog. After all, they’re just holding hands… hanging out by the fire… hey, wait, are they dancing? Okay, I think it’s time to call the divorce lawyer.
Andy L
December 13th, 2009 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

Jamus, I think she owns a diamond ring for the express purpose of either insurance fraud or luring in unsuspecting Foxes and mice.

This is not the first time she’s played this con.

http://joshreads.com/?p=979

(And I have to point out again, both times Slylock and Max show up while she’s still incapacitated! Do they just have a habit of regularly sticking their heads in Cassandra’s windows to make sure she’s not in some sort of sexy trouble?)
ms. docweasel
December 13th, 2009 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

Sly and Max are catching a “no-panties upskirt” shot even as she relates her tale of woe.
Spiderman Defense League
December 13th, 2009 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

Wow, Slylock Fox is Frank Booth and Cassandra Cat is Dorothy Vallens.

Ick.
Red Greenback
December 13th, 2009 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

Blondie: I have a sneaking suspicion that this isn’t the first time Mr. D. has “jazzed up” Dagwood’s “work-space” with his “Little Julius”.
Bryan
December 13th, 2009 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

Does that make Max Mouse Kyle MacLachlan or Dean Stockwell?
Sequitur
December 13th, 2009 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: She’s not your girlfriend Beetle. She walked right past you without even acknowledging your existence.
mr 12 oz can
December 13th, 2009 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

how can mark lie to the people and say andy is his constant companion when he was left behind on the fishing trip . but does andy get mad no he just asks mark for dancing lessons.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 13th, 2009 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

69 Sequitur: No, that’s how you know someone does like you—in junior high.
Sequitur
December 13th, 2009 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

GOATS
At least I think they’re suppose to be goats.
Sequitur
December 13th, 2009 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

71. bb,u
Beetle Bailey = Junior High

Okay. Now this strip is starting to make sense.
Dr. Weird
December 13th, 2009 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

MT Lost Forrest warm enough for conventional fishing and then frolic at the beach on the weekday strips, yet there’s snow on the ground in the Sunday! My whole life has turned upside down!
Mysterious Shirtless Lawyer
December 13th, 2009 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

In fact, Max and Shylock don’t care if Cassandra is lying or telling the truth. They just want to keep getting an eyeful of that stunning beaver.
Mel AKA "Mel"
December 13th, 2009 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

MW: What does it say about me that I was really hoping Wilber’s long lost son would be Charlie?
Sequitur
December 13th, 2009 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

MC: Is Norm getting to be like Mark Trail? Thinking about his pet before his girl?
The next thing you know Norm will adopt a deformed little Platyduck or something.
Sequitur
December 13th, 2009 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

Happy Hanukkah everyone!

And to all a good night!
queek
December 13th, 2009 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

It seems that in all the Cassandra-based excitement, that everyone has missed the My Cage shout-out in today’s SFx.
Niall
December 13th, 2009 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

43 Jamus: DAMMIT, you almost made me cry!!!

(Sometimes I really wonder if you and Mr. Weber Jr are arranging things, but… then again, you ARE that good.)
Red Greenback
December 13th, 2009 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

Bryan @#68: The small man in a yellow mouse suit?
Jumper
December 13th, 2009 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

The artist has caught Slylock in mid-eye roll. Once again our vulpine sleuth realizes that despite the rewards of having a slavish sidekick like Max, inevitably Max will become at the worst possible moment a third wheel, cramping Sly’s style, blocking him, as he always does, from ingress.
Anselm
December 14th, 2009 at 12:09 am [Reply]

In fact, Max and Shylock don’t care if Cassandra is lying or telling the truth. They just want to keep getting an eyeful of that stunning beaver

Don’t be silly; there is no beaver in the panel–only a pussy.
Jamus The Bartender
December 14th, 2009 at 12:22 am [Reply]

80. Thanks, Niall. I was gonna get to this much later, but I suppose Cassandra really does run the show, so to speak.
She’s also got poppies in the vases. That’s not good news.
bats :[
December 14th, 2009 at 12:30 am [Reply]

35. KT: well, at least it’s a blessing that he no longer looks like TJ.
teddytoad
December 14th, 2009 at 12:33 am [Reply]

Mark Trail: So, that whole talking-to-Cherry-now framing device was thrown away with the throwaway panels? I know the answer’s yes, but I’d like to imagine the answer’s no, and see this whole strip as an elaborate, passive-aggressive wind-up to Mark telling Cherry she shouldn’t have bought Rusty that little spotted dog with the gay name who keeps trying to murder their misshapen son.
The Mighty Captain E
December 14th, 2009 at 12:33 am [Reply]

MT – I’ve typed this before…
Andy is a Landseer Newfoundland.
Information on this breed can be found on the internets, Mr. Elrod. Google it!
Poor Thompson
December 14th, 2009 at 12:36 am [Reply]

The Slylock Fox super challenge is more entertaining if you picture it being spoken in a very slow and poetic fashion by someone sitting on a bar stool in an artsy, darkened theater, wearing a black beret, black turtle neck, dark glasses, and gazing into the middle distance with an expression of anguish and existential contemplation, while strumming a bongo drum at intervals.
NoahSnark
December 14th, 2009 at 12:41 am [Reply]

Is Blondie dabbling in foreshadowing? If so, the strip where Dagwood snaps will be an homage to Scarface.
Tom Harrington
December 14th, 2009 at 12:43 am [Reply]

42:
No pants, no peace.
Know pants, know peace.
bats :[
December 14th, 2009 at 12:44 am [Reply]

I liked the Sunday MT because it veered just slightly from the usual Sunday layout, and the layout and theme is very similar to the Sunday serials like JP, MW and RMMD. Nice for a change, and because it was lots o’ fun to mash up. The only drawback is it’s like The Phantom, slightly disconcerting to know that Rusty is pinned under a station wagon/Diana is rotting away in prison (during the week), only to see Rusty throwing a cat at Mark/Diana boringly wonder what will become of her children when they grow out of their diapers (on Sunday).
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 14th, 2009 at 12:50 am [Reply]

So you can lurk for hours outside a woman’s window as she walks around more-or-less naked, and if anyone catches you you can say you’re just watching out for insurance fraud? That’s a pretty cunning idea. I mean, someone could probably do that. Someone else. Not me. What kind of pervert do you think I… Don’t judge me.
Wave Man
December 14th, 2009 at 1:07 am [Reply]

No one has mentioned Mark’s pink winter jacket and matching pink khaki shirt? He must be borrowing shirts from Cherry on Sundays. I’d love to hear from Fashion Police.

The Mr. Dithers doll really creeps me out too.
Poteet
December 14th, 2009 at 1:13 am [Reply]

# 92 Artist — Bwahaha!
Ed Dravecky
December 14th, 2009 at 1:23 am [Reply]

To quote the inestimable Janeane Garofalo, “It’s okay to love your dog as long as you don’t love your dog.” Take note, Mark Trail.
Poteet
December 14th, 2009 at 1:24 am [Reply]

12/13 PBS — “Win” isn’t adequate.
Steve S
December 14th, 2009 at 1:36 am [Reply]

Mark Trail needs to consider more carefully the wisdom of running a Sunday strip that says “pets are the joy of a child’s life” in the midst of a weekday storyline about Sassy knocking a car on top of Rusty. However, I guess they’re technically okay, since Rusty isn’t a child but a gnome.
Mibbitmaker
December 14th, 2009 at 1:42 am [Reply]

The 14th:

Cranky: Y’gotta say this for the man, he sure paints a mean word picture.

FW: Show tune?? Whaddaya think this is, Mary Worth?

FC: Well, that answers that question: Can a whole string of large Christmas lights all fit in that pudgy head of his? Yes.

RMMD: Jeez, June, you just had to say your cousin. You didn’t need to make it into “Njorl’s Saga”.

MT: “Whoever owns this place” is a concuss first, ask questions later kind of guy. Dick Tracy would love him!

Phantom: FINALLY!

Curtis: He works with Mark Trail??
tb4000
December 14th, 2009 at 1:56 am [Reply]

That Mark Trail needs the added melody of Sarah McLachlan to play when viewing that panel with the sad puppy, whose face is eerily more expressive than any dog’s ever would be. Granted, the added melody of Sarah McLachlan would alone be enough trauma for the poor soul, but alas.
Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
December 14th, 2009 at 2:02 am [Reply]

Monday’s Mark Trail gives us a payoff.
Tubbytoast
December 14th, 2009 at 2:07 am [Reply]

MT- That’s not Sassy. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH SASSY.
bats :[
December 14th, 2009 at 2:10 am [Reply]

A few Monday! Monday! observations:

MT: looks like Mark’s going to be left for the gators (or pelicans) again.

RMMD: GREAT! expression on Sarah’s face in Panel 2!

MW: I have to admit that I’m not loving this storyline. So let’s just cut to the chase and find a more exciting one, okay?
ElkMeadow
December 14th, 2009 at 2:19 am [Reply]

And up for Monday,

Luann–the group is going Christmas caroling. All seven juniors (?) from Pitts High School. Including whiney Gunther with the frowny face. And Pitts is a great name for such a dismal institution. Almost as bad as Sleepy Creek Retirement Community, which I thought at first glance was Creepy Creek.

Even though Sunday’s strip shows that Brad has yet to really leave his parents’ house, I am glad that he, Toni, T.J. and Toni’s “niece” aren’t on the caroling trip. Or the parents. But Dirk would have been nice. Wonder if he’s related to the Cue?

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2009/12/14&name=Luann

How do you guys do the cool link bit?
Mibbitmaker
December 14th, 2009 at 2:20 am [Reply]

More Monday:

9CL: You’d better not Les-&-Lisa-Summer-of-’94 this story, Brooke!

GA: Everyone in that town is an idiot.
Tubbytoast
December 14th, 2009 at 2:26 am [Reply]

62. Bourbon Babe – COTW!!
Ed Dravecky
December 14th, 2009 at 2:32 am [Reply]

12/14 FC: With Monk off the air, young Billy Keane makes his bid to become America’s most beloved obsessive-compulsive. (Sorry Billy, that spot in our hearts is still held by Martha Stewart.)

12/14 MT: Hey! Mark was just saying out loud that a boy’s life was at stake. If the total lack of an interior monologue can’t protect Mark from yet another concussive brain injury, what hope is there for the rest of us?

12/14 PBS: Holy cats, this may run for a while. Bless you, Stephan Pastis. After ‘Jumble Jeff’ Knurek, you’re my second-favorite comics hero.
Uncle Lumpy
December 14th, 2009 at 2:37 am [Reply]

@Elk Meadow (#103) –

<a href=”http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2009/12/14&name=Luann” target=”_blank”>Cool Link Bit</a>

gives you

Cool Link Bit
Gnome
December 14th, 2009 at 2:44 am [Reply]

# 97 Steve S. — We don’t know what Rusty is, but he’s not one of ours. Sorry.
Mr. O'Malley
December 14th, 2009 at 2:56 am [Reply]

9CL: Isn’t she a vet? Surely no medical person would disgrace the profession by calling a vet “doctor”.

MT: Idiocy upon idiocy.

MW: The only remotely entertaining thing about this is that Wilbur’s desk seems to be on a rotating pedestal. First his right arm is facing the window, then his left arm. And not a right angle in the place either.
Poteet
December 14th, 2009 at 3:02 am [Reply]

GA — I see that GA is now going to do to veterinary clinics what it did to concert halls.

MW — Wilbur really, really wishes he’d used a condom. And so do I.
gnome de blog
December 14th, 2009 at 3:03 am [Reply]

108 says it all. Let us be careful whom we call a gnome.

And BTW, a tip o’ the Hatlo Hat to FUMBLE FEJJ, er LUBJEM FEJF for today’s (Sunday’s) JUMBLE. I haven’t seen a worse put in weeks, therefore it was brilliant!

As Robert Graves said:

There’s no money in poetry, but then there’s no poetry in money either.
True Fable
December 14th, 2009 at 3:46 am [Reply]

Fist O Justice Theater In today’s drama, Mark is busted over the dome by a clean-shaven guy! Oh noes, how can he possibly fight back! But wait… it looks sort of like the clean-shaven stranger has corn rows or something on his head. Oh, I hope so. The notion of Mark Trail being smacked down by a guy with cornrows delights me to no end.
rachel
December 14th, 2009 at 4:26 am [Reply]

@ Mr. O’Malley, 109: i’m pretty sure she’s a biology professor, and the “doctor” is in reference to her Ph.D. which is even sillier if you ask me.
rachel
December 14th, 2009 at 4:32 am [Reply]

re: myself at #113: oops, didn’t intend to make it look like i think calling vets “doctor” is silly. although my (old) doggy has been acting weird lately and the vet keeps telling us he’s a-ok….i can’t help but worry that they’re missing something. :(
Makya
December 14th, 2009 at 5:09 am [Reply]

I don’t think that Dagwood took the toy home…I think it followed him. The next panel would show Dagwood turning slowly, in terror, just as Little Dithers pulled out a razor blade…
Strangefate
December 14th, 2009 at 5:34 am [Reply]

Wow. You know… I kinda like this new nightmare fuel direction Blondie is taking.

Now Dagwood has a little boss to follow him around everywhere he goes, criticizing his every move and laughing viciously at his many foibles. And, of course, only Dagwood can hear its constant mocking…
Lucky
December 14th, 2009 at 5:38 am [Reply]

9 Chickweed Lane – Nah, she died. Batiuk just took over this strip as well.

Archie – Either Reggie has cat-like reflexes and is able to point and laugh the exact moment Archie hits a wall or he has somehow acquired telekinetic powers and is throwing Archie around with his index finger. Either way we get to see Archie get hurt, which is hilarious.

Beetle Bailey – Beetle is unable to take the next step in his and Sarge’s relationship.

Family Circus – Ha ha, Billy has OCD.

Funky Winkerbean – There is no such thing as a beautiful day in Funkyverse!

Heathcliff – Eugh, I keep reading that as ‘huoria’ which means ‘whores’ in Finnish. … And now I keep reading the whole thing as ‘transuhuoria’, I’ll let you imagine what that might stand for.

Mark Trail – I’d express excitement over this latest turn of events, but I already did that when Mark drove his car over that cliff and when Sassy was backing into that jack. We all know how lame those turned out, so I’m betting that wrench is actually made of rubber or something.

Marmaduke – …which drove him drinking.

Mary Worth – Judging by the way Wilbur is holding his nose in the last panel I’m guessing he just ripped a killer fart.
True Fable
December 14th, 2009 at 5:47 am [Reply]

Jeremy Duncan is asking for freedom for Christmas? What kind of freedom were you looking for, Jeremy? The freedom to pay your own rent or mortgage and buy your own meals and paying your own utilities? The freedom to work for a living rather than sponge off parents? The freedom to upkeep your van and pay for gas and tag and all that? The freedom to file your own taxes? Yeah, and all that AND being a spoiled selfish lazy underage punk fucktard, too! Yeah boy, I hope Santa gives you your Christmas wish in spades.
/rant
Mr. O'Malley
December 14th, 2009 at 6:51 am [Reply]

113. rachel. Even worse then, no medical professional would call a mere PhD “doctor”.
Marion Delgado
December 14th, 2009 at 6:53 am [Reply]

Lucky, I agree – I think the maitre d’ of the damned is waltzing gramma off to Gehenna as we type.

BATIUK is a cruel god, an unforgiving god, a humorless god. Thy days will be torment as Batiuk surveys his universe and declares it is “squirmy.”
KarMann
December 14th, 2009 at 7:15 am [Reply]

@True Fable #118: Forget Jeremy and his requests, when did Santa go for a black suit? Is black the new red now?

(I know, I know, it’s the product of strips that have to convey the same image whether in B&W or colour. But that one’s pretty outstanding.)
mordock999
December 14th, 2009 at 7:48 am [Reply]

Today’s Luann – 12/14/09

While Caroling at the Sleepy Creek Community Center –

Neighborhood Kids — “Grandma got run over by a Reindeer!”
“Walking from our house on Christmas Eve!’
“You can say there ain’t no thing as Santa!”
“But as for me and Congress, we BELIEVE!”

Luann — “ELWOOD! What in the ABSOLUTE Hell are you doing here??”

Elwood — “Me and my Kids are here to Selflessly Entertain Seasoned Citizens and at the same time publicly SHAME you into marrying me!”

Luann — “Elwood you are as annoying as you look! Again, I say Hell No! And besides MY group was here FIRST!”

Mrs. Horner — “Now, Now don’t get in a snit Luann Dear. We are glad both groups are here! And we just LOVE the new Playstation 3s that Elwood gave us!”

Elwood — “Our Pleasure Mrs. Horner! Okay, kids! Next selection! The ‘Barking Dog’ version of Jingle Bells! HIT IT!!!”

Neighborhood Kids — “Woof, Woof, Woof! Woof, Woof, Woof! Woof-Woof, Woof, Woof-Woof!”

_______________________-

DEATH to TJ!!!
Mela
December 14th, 2009 at 8:41 am [Reply]

That Mark Trail is easily one of the most depressing comics I’ve ever seen. Way to make people want to support rescue and be responsible with pets, guys.

Monday’s stuff:

ReFOOB: Does the former Mr. Lynn use these strips to justify missing his alimony payments? He should.

FW: Take your bets – failed attempt at comedy or soul-crushingly pathetic attempt at an anti-gay-bashing story?

Luann: Screw the carolling – the old folks want a cat fight.

My Cage: It’s funny in that oddly depressing way because it’s true.

OBH: Oh, holy shit, it’s the Joker’s mother.

Zits: It’s the return of the black-clad Santa of Doom! And he brought black & white candy canes to add to the despair.
queek
December 14th, 2009 at 8:51 am [Reply]

When I read Zits this a.m, I just knew that something along the lines of 118 would be on the way. :-)

F-: A&J did this joke better. Much better.

GT: yup, the Ghost in the Wildcat.

MC: I feel your pain Norm.

JS: woa. There was an article in yesterday’s paper that pretty much was this. Also, *applause* on the visual, its very well done. Take a bow, Mr. Armstrong.
blammers66
December 14th, 2009 at 8:57 am [Reply]

FunkWink: Egad! It’s the “Bully-who-only-tolerates-nineteenth-century-operatic-arias!” Could be the bloodiest Winkerbean week yet!
Mayzshon
December 14th, 2009 at 9:01 am [Reply]

PBS- “All we are sa-a-aying, is give Zig-gy pants!”

Yesterday’s Blondie- Mr. Dithers has a clone at 1/8 his original size. I’m glad to finally know his company actually does. I never suspected genetic engineering.
MolyBendum
December 14th, 2009 at 9:09 am [Reply]

Apartment 3G Even a hefty inheritance can’t keep Margo from being a giant bitch. I look forward to when she draws a stack of bills out of the bank and slaps her father across the face with it. “I got my own money now, Daddy, no more zippers for me!”

Archie Doncha hate that? When you’re walking down a hallway reciting your morning mantra and you suddenly launch yourself into a wall? Man, I hate that.

Crock Today’s episode of Crock further proves that a half-assed comic about the not-particularly-French Foreign Legion isn’t a viable business model for 2010.

FOOB “And every time she looks at vegetables, she’ll think of you.” “Well, Ted, she DOES already seem to have a special fascination with the cucumbers…”

Mark Trail Oh, Mark. You of all people should know that all crime in LoFo ends with a beat down. Or a job as a Park Ranger…
Thomas B.
December 14th, 2009 at 9:27 am [Reply]

Does Cassandra shave or Brazilian wax? Well by the look on Slylock’s face, I think niether.
Brick Bradford
December 14th, 2009 at 9:30 am [Reply]

MT: Or, maybe not.

DT: Boy, is Magneto ever steamed with Quicksilver.

MW: I don’t need to be reading Mary Worth to experience some middle aged bald guy hunched over a computer! That’s my LIFE, for crying out loud.
hogenmogen
December 14th, 2009 at 10:00 am [Reply]

MT: Am I pointing out the obvious if I ask why are the motion lines in front of Mark’s head?

Sunday MT: I’m confused here. Mark makes a hearty pitch for the adoption of poor little pets, but the other six days is an ad of equally passionate plea to keep twerpy pets like Sassy and Rusty underfed in a cage someplace.

Archie: He’s having a good day, then suddenly the mighty hand of God lifts him from the floor and hurls him against the wall. God is likely infallible, but I really think he intended to do that to a Winkerbean character instead. He’s singin’ a showtune for goodness sakes!!

More pointing out the obvious:

BC: So why aren’t both their faces blackened?

Dick: You can’t conduct while you are also playing violin.

H&J: Bad shot in panel 1. Herb’s head pops out like “Kilroy was here”. Then they cut to camera 2 and adjust the angle of camera 1. Nice recovery. However, the punchline is essentially “We’re all gonna die”, so if I were Herb, and those are the lines I was given, I’d be trying to hide my face in the last panel instead.

Marm: What’s the big deal? It’s still a week and a half til Christmas. Oh, I get it, he’s a BIG DOG. HAHAHAHAHAHA

MW: Yeah, we get it. That’s how babies are made. However, the birds-and-bees realization makes Wilbur seem like he’s about to vomit. I’m on the edge of my seat to find out what will happen tomorrow. Will he read something or will he type? I’m on the edge!

Pluggers remember when they didn’t have to choose between buying bread or medicine. It’s funny because… no it’s rather sad.
hogenmogen
December 14th, 2009 at 10:07 am [Reply]

#118 – True:

Jeremy asks for freedom, meaning he wants all the rights of an adult, like freedom to come and go as he pleases, eat when and what he wants or to cut out of school whenever he has something else to do, yet at the same time not giving up the security of a home he doesn’t pay for. He did not ask for the responsibilities or future consequence of ingoring the responsibilities. It’s pretty much what everyone wants, but only a 16 year old thinks that they’re entitled to.
hogenmogen
December 14th, 2009 at 10:13 am [Reply]

#117 – Lucky – Yes, that is the only thing that would explain the situation. Reggie has acquired that zero-point energy beam thing from that Syndrome guy. Dash and Violet Incredible must attend Riverdale High.
Scrog
December 14th, 2009 at 10:15 am [Reply]

All of need to love and be loved, Cherry especially, during the holiday season.

FYC.
Calico
December 14th, 2009 at 10:29 am [Reply]

“Cherry, I know you’re my animal, and I know you need to be loved! I promise I won’t return you to the shelter, at least for now!”
One-eyed Wolfdog
December 14th, 2009 at 10:31 am [Reply]

Spiderman: I… um, I… this… what. This is terrible.
Calico
December 14th, 2009 at 10:32 am [Reply]

Plus, I see Cassandra has just awakened from her latest Oxycontin binge.
Happy Holidays, Cassie!
wossname
December 14th, 2009 at 10:37 am [Reply]

130 hogenmogen – You’re so right about the motion lines. Judging by them, the guy missed Mark completely, and Mark’s expression in panel 3 must just be the result of embarrassment. The physics here makes about as much sense as the bullet trajectories in the MW “Scott is shot!” sequence.

The Jackelrod earring does look nice in panel 2, though. Never figured Mark for a pierced kind of guy.
Muffaroo
December 14th, 2009 at 10:41 am [Reply]

AD – Sarcasm detector joke? Say, that’s a new one.

Crock – Good thing they pointed at the huge rock when they were talking about it, or nobody could have been 100% certain that the only rock in the picture — indeed, the only landscape feature of any kind in the picture — was the one they were talking about. And that would have been bad. Real bad.

Dick – He had to conduct with a substitute violin? Most conductors use a little stick, or their hand.

Mark – “I’m sure he’ll understand when I tell him a Boy’s Life was at stake!…” No, Mister Badwrench doesn’t care at all about your magazine collection, Mark.
Muffaroo
December 14th, 2009 at 10:42 am [Reply]

Marmaduke – “Yes, dogs send each other cards. And they can read them, and know who they’re from, and they get sad when they realize that they haven’t gotten a card from a particular dog. I understand in some countries, they eat these guys.”

Pluggers – A plugger is capable of intricate calculations regarding her Easy-Bake Oven.

Slylock knows Shady Shrew is lying because one of Earl’s footprints is overlaid by one of the turds Shady leaves wherever he goes.

Zits – “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid. NEXT!”
Muffaroo
December 14th, 2009 at 10:44 am [Reply]

Lawyerbob @y77 – Points awarded for Glenn Gould reference.

Josh on Pluggers [yesterthread] – We lived in Virginia when Pat Robertson still owned WYAH-TV. They showed black and white Popeye cartoons, which I taped diligently. They also showed “Matt Houston,” and censored it awkwardly, leaving gaps in the sound track that suggested bad equipment until one realized they were taking out words purposely. They took out so many, we were pretty sure they were censoring “darn” and “heck.”

mordock999 @122 – And a Woof-Woof Woof-Woof to you too! Woof Woof us, every one!

hogenmogen @130 – Tell that to the soloist/conductors out there who conduct from the keyboard or from the violin. They’ve pretty much rehearsed the orchestra, and then in performance they play their part while making faces, or gesturing at the orchestra with their head. When they have a moment between parts, they use their hands or their bow for brief spots of actual conducting. Mostly, they’re convincing themselves that they’re conducting a self-running show. Well, they did rehearse the orchestra, I guess.
Hibbleton
December 14th, 2009 at 10:47 am [Reply]

@#97 Steve: I don’t think Rusty’s a gnome. He’s rather a ventriloquist’s dummy. A schizoid Mark places his inert body in perilous situations and then proceeds to beat the shit out of innocent people who enter his psychotic nightmare.

@117 Lucky: I agree and actually “stinky” sounds like a good nickname for Wilbur. Stinky Wilbur.
Disingenuous Penguin
December 14th, 2009 at 10:53 am [Reply]

“And believe me, pets need a great deal of attention!” Says Mark Trail, as he throws his Saint Bernard’s ginormous turd into the fireplace.
Mibbitmaker
December 14th, 2009 at 11:02 am [Reply]

#117 (Lucky): I like the idea of Reggie just leaping into the scene, mocking Archie, then leaping out, like the wacky guy in “Airplane”. It’d be like Reggie is the mocking Greek chorus of the comic strip.

Well, Mantle, CUT IT OUT! That’s our job!

#140 (Muffaroo): So that TV station showed the Fleischer-era Popeyes. It’s nice to know that Pat Robertson was good for something.
tb4000
December 14th, 2009 at 11:03 am [Reply]

Spunky Cancerbean: The off-panel voice angrily demanding to know who has the gall to singing is totally in the right….any display of happiness whatsoever in this universe is punishable by death.
TheDiva
December 14th, 2009 at 11:37 am [Reply]

YesterShaft: Here we see Crankshaft’s inimical aura affects not only things like Christmas cookies and charcoal grills, but the economy itself.

Today:

C’shaft: The idea of Cranky locked in a cage with a bunch of hyperactive squirrels is more entertaining and amusing than anything bound to result from this setup.

Curtis: Curtis’ dad can’t understand how a parent might feel a sense of joy and pride in their offspring.

DT: Why does he need a Stradivarius in order to conduct an orchestra, anyway? Did the concertmaster leave his violin at home? Does he find it attracts more attention than the standard baton?

FW: Offscreen, Batiuk demands to know which of his miserable creations has dared defy his commandment of misery and angst by raising his voice in an optimistic song.

Luann: Gunther is debating whether he should just off Quill outright, or take him hostage in a Scarpia Ultimatum for Luann’s favors.

MW: “I’m not your dad!” “Yes you are!” “Am not!” “Are so!” “Am not!” “Are so!”

Pluggers will die freezing to death in the dark.
Artist formerly known as Ben
December 14th, 2009 at 11:51 am [Reply]

12/14

S-M: I can’t even snark about this. It’s shutting down my brain.

FW: I see that gay-bashing will be the latest issue to receive that deft Batiuk touch. (BTW, if you recognize “Oh What a Beautiful Morning” as a showtune, you’re suspect by your own monoic standards. It’s not an obvious one like “Don’t Rain on My Parade.”)

Blondie: Don’t worry, Doc. Dagwood will never, ever blame you for giving him a treat. In fact after feeling his balls, you’d better make with the goodies.

MT: Mark is felled by a backwoods vigilante. If thsi is Serial Strip Karma Week, Dick Tracy is done for.

SFx: I dunno. It’s a chest, which is sort of like a trunk, so… elephant. Plus Shady Shrew is a known scumbag. Leave me alone, willya?

JP: Someone passing by might think that Sam had sex with Mrs DiVito, but that her bodyguard wouldn’t join them for a threesome. All of which is credible, except for the involvement of Sam.

H&L: What kind of prescription tablet does Chip have on his T-shirt? Is it the pill that reminds him to keep his hair out of his eyes?

9CL: Visiting hours are over. I guess Gran’s story about the German officer’s German helmet will have to wait.

A3G: In Saturday’s strip, the sky was clear and blue. Now Manhattan is covered in snow. Am I safe in assuming Margo is using her ice queen powers?

GA: Haha, “Irish name”, good one! God, this is a meeting of the mindless. Once Kitty is out of the woods and onto her next life, Rufus really needs to get this desk clerk’s number.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 14th, 2009 at 11:52 am [Reply]

MT: A wrench? That’s the best you’ve got, Mr. Concussy McStoreowner? It takes more than a powerful blow with a sturdy metal object to damage the Trail noggin; it may be a block of wood, but it’s a block of ironwood.

MW: So now we can add “nose picking” to Wilbur’s list of appealing qualities. Good god, man—Kurt is evidence that as many as two women once found you ~~attractive~~ not vomit-inducingly repellent! Don’t turn him away!

BB: Wow, Sarge will do anything to get Beetle on his hands and knees, won’t he?

Curtis: If you can gaze at your own kid across the dinner table, Greg, I’d say you could stomach whatever a coworker might throw at you.
queek
December 14th, 2009 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

Jeff T Shark is smart enough to think to use compact florescent bulbs, thus making him smarter than Chicken Plugger Lady.
hogenmogen
December 14th, 2009 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

What is the best strip of the day?

Let’s see the contenders:

Archie: “Today is my day” Whack! “Today is not his day!”

MW: My point of view is based on unspecified suspicion, just as yours is on vague supposition.

Cock: Hey, this rock has been here for two years! Ha!

H&J: We all shall die. If you work out, you’ll live in agony, too!

Funk: Stop that! We’ll have none of that singing.

Marm: Dog is upset – like drama queen upset.

Marvin: Santa Claus is fat. So am I! Ha!

Ziggy is berated by an unattractive gypsy.

Shoe: Blah blah… taxes! Amirite?

Pluggers are old and poor.

And the winner….

SPIDERMAN for the classic story arc “Conversations with a Vacuum”. Give it up, folks! Yeah!
queek
December 14th, 2009 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

148: as seen here: http://www.gillcomic.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/my_cage.jpg

someone has been busy on the TV Tropes My Cage page! *applause*
hogenmogen
December 14th, 2009 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

JP: So wait – Mrs. DiVito has a thuggish bodyguard, but Mr. DiVito – the guy who received an open death threat – did not?
Alan's Addiction
December 14th, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

So, the “Mark Trail” comic strip flips between the themes of “Mark smashing his way through obstacles” to “Mark makes a heartfelt plea on behalf of our animal friends” in two days. I’m beginning to think that the strip’s writers have bipolar disorder.
Wow, Dithers is WAY too trusting with his employees, most of whom would see a tiny facsimile of him as a potential voodoo doll (or even a potential source of a hidden camera for Dithers to spy on them) rather than a small gift.
Rather than discuss why Max and Slylock apparently enjoy watching unconscious people-critters (or how Cassandra explains the incongruity between calling the police ten minutes earlier and her claim that she was unconscious until Slylock and Max arrived), I’d rather focus on the happy baby hippo, who’s obviously intoxicated.
The Eric
December 14th, 2009 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

Aw man! I was going to name a Saint Bernard “Andy” in a reference to The Office.
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

150. queek
“I’ll beat you with your own tail fin.”
How many times have I heard that. *sigh*
commodorejohn
December 14th, 2009 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

Archie – I’m gonna have to agree with #117 Lucky’s assessment. Reggie totally just telekinesis-ed Archie into a wall. I do hope this isn’t the last we see of such things – perhaps when Archie finally picks Veronica as decreed by the comic books, Betty will manifest similar powers and rip them both limb from limb. Maybe Dilton can summon an army of demons in the meantime.

Crankshaft – Crankshaft makes a joke about drugs in a newspaper strip, and I have to at least respect that.

FB – So by Fred Basset’s definition, if you’re only borrowing it without permission, or rather, if you don’t intend to keep it when you take it, it’s not theft. That’s a comfortably loose set of criteria, there.

FW – Finally, a chance to watch the Happiness Gestapo in action! *peeks ahead*

JP – The police. You’re going to make the police sign. For evidence. Right. You do that.

MT – Oh. My. God. Did Mark Trail just get Wrench O’ Apprehensioned? He seems to be nearly as vulnerable to blows upside the head as Spider-Man. Guess it’s his Achille’s Skull.

MW – So why is Wilbur holding his nose? Does he involuntarily pass gas when being accused of paternity? Or is the stench of his own failure just that overwhelming?

Phantom – That’s quite the headline. Not even any attempt to indicate what happened, just TERROR. Does Rupert Murdoch own the Mawitaan Journal?

RMMD – Something about that last panel gives me serious “It’s A Good Life” vibes. She may not be a little piggy at the moment, but God only knows what Sarah has in store for her…

SM – Yeah, continuing with the sand-letters deal is so much simpler than just letting him out.

Edison Lee – Since when are post-holiday-dinner crashes embarrassing? They’re so universally expected they’re practically part of the schedule.
Jamus The Bartender
December 14th, 2009 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

155/Phantom: You know, John, he probably does….he probably does.
OMOT
December 14th, 2009 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

“Antepenultimate”, “penultimate”, and “homunculus” all in the same sentence? That’s gotta be some kind of a record!

Keep up the excellent work!
cheech wizard
December 14th, 2009 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

Hellfire? I thought that was just Mark getting ready to roast the Christmas dachshund.
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

I think today’s MG&G was in honor of bats :[
Yes, she is making an impact on main line comics.
Too bad it wasn’t funny.
MG&G = not funny.
bats :[ = funny!
The Party Sim
December 14th, 2009 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

Why did I read the Slylock Fox strip and then hear the “YEAH!” of the Who and CSI?
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

I wonder if B. Racoon knows about this?
I don’t get the milk part.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 14th, 2009 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

161 Sequitur: Because the vampire guy was going to ask whether the monster guy finished the milk, but instead, the monster guy confessed to something much worse. I mean, “worse” unless he wanted a large raccoon in his coffin.
Lanfranc
December 14th, 2009 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

Judge Parker: The utterly incompetent way these people go about handling this rather important piece of evidence is hilarious. But maybe I’m just naive in expecting the writers of a (supposedly) legal-themed comic strip to know how the legal system works.

Mark Trail: Aaahh. This story arc just keeps delivering. ^_^

Slylock Fox: Ha, trick question! It doesn’t matter who found the chest first. It was established months ago that Slylock’s country is a despotic monarchy. Thus, by feudal law all treasure trove belongs to the Princess as the ultimate owner of all land in the realm.
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

162. bb,u
Thanks for the explanation. Monday morning – brain on half duty.
I could imagine what a large raccoon would do in a coffin after being fueled on Indian food. Unless it was American Indian food.
Muffaroo
December 14th, 2009 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

Mibbitmaker @143 – Absolutely, I was glad to have those Fleischer Popeyes. I was during one of my interployment times, so I’d get up at seven or eight, record those great cartoons, and go back to bed. Some years later, I was showing a fun-loving friend that I’d purchased a Jim & Tammy Faye Bakker LP from their days as kid-show hosts on WYAH, and she grinned and said, “I was in their kids’ club!” (I have since obtained an actual Suzy Moppet doll, complete with tiny internal record that causes it to say and sing terrible things in Tammy Faye’s cloying puppet voice.)
Bryan
December 14th, 2009 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

Gasoline Alley: It’s doing that thing again where an ancillary character is drawn in a much more realistic style than the main character. It’s as if that character was based on one of the artist’s friends.
B. Racoon
December 14th, 2009 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

Sequitur @ 161 – It wasn’t me. I have no idea what raccoon got himself in that situation.

By the way, how do you like our “Boogie Woogie’s” work in Gasoline Alley? It’s getting even more moronic, isn’t it. That’s the plan. “Boogie Woogie” feeds them their lines. Hopefully, it will get so weird that the syndicate will have no choice but to pull the plug on this strip.
EVE@HOME
December 14th, 2009 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

Hey Josh! I have no other reason for posting other than to say I liked the way you were able to use the word “antepenultimate” in a comic blog.
Bingo
December 14th, 2009 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

Although Rex and June have at long last returned from their cruise, please join us as we turn back the clock to a time before they arrived chez Morgan…

June Morgan sat on the edge of her king-sized bed in the penthouse suite of the luxury liner. She was fed up. Yet again, Rex lay beside her, snoring gently, oblivious to her needs. Was she not a woman, and did she not have desires?
Sighing resignedly, June opened the bedside table drawer and removed her top-of-the-line, deluxe, fancy vibrator. Gathering the filmy cover-up she wore over her bikini around her, she stood and walked toward the bathroom. It would serve Rex right, she thought briefly, to pleasure herself loudly right there next to him on the bed. He would awaken, and she would ignore him as he had ignored her all these years.
Ever the dutiful wife, however, she pushed that idea aside as quickly as it had surfaced, proceeding into the bathroom and closing the door behind her. This time, though, she was shutting more than just the door on her husband. Things had changed on this cruise; they had changed drastically, and soon Rex would know everything.
In the small bathroom, June removed her light wrap and then her bikini–first the top and then the panties, very slowly, gazing all the while at her reflection in the mirror, lit softly from above. God, she was gorgeous, and she knew it. She’d been aware when they married that Rex was gay, but she’d thought she could change him. Sure, they had an “arrangement”–she’d be his beard in exchange for the good life, but secretly she’d wanted more.
June laughed ruefully as she began to stroke her nipples, gently at first and then harder as she became aroused. Beginning to moan softly and involuntarily, she reached with half-closed eyes for her vibrator on the counter, never losing sight of her image in the glass.
Feeling wetness between her inner thighs, June moaned louder and touched the tip of the vibrator to her clitoris. Instantly, a tingle ran through her body like an electric shock. Within moments, she was climaxing, writhing in ecstasy on the pale blue bathroom rug. Again and again she came, and when it was finally over, June lay there, exhausted but satiated at last.
When finally her heart had stopped pounding and the perspiration dewily covering her skin was gone, June arose. She knew what she needed to do for herself next. It was time for a heart-to-heart with Rex, her husband.
Not bothering to dress, June strode from the bathroom, only to find Rex awake and standing at the bar mixing himself a drink. Tossing her garments casually on the bed, June turned to face him, knowing that the sight of her beauteous nakedness would elicit no response. She sighed, and began to speak.
“Rex,” she said. “We need to talk. Things just aren’t working out.”
To her great surprise, Rex reacted immediately. She’d thought he’d want to continue living in denial, as they had for so long, but he seemed eager to unburden himself.
“Oh, June,” he replied. “I feel the same way. I just can’t go on living a lie anymore. I’m sorry, honey.”
“It’s all right, Rex,” June said. And she knew that this time, everything would be all right, at least for her.
“You know, of course,” Rex began, speaking hesitantly, “of our arrangement. It was a great idea, with benefits for both of us. And you even agreed to allow me to continue my little trysts. Here on the ship, for instance–there was little Willy, not that I ever touched him, naturally, only looked. And there was Guido–”
“Guido?” June interrupted breathlessly. “You had Guido, too? I…I mean, you had Guido, too?”
“Oh, honey,” said Rex. “None of that meant anything. But there’s something I’ve been keeping from you, and it’s very important.”
“Yes?” queried June.
“I’ve…I’ve…June, I’ve fallen in love!”
“Fallen in love?” snorted a shocked June. “Why, Rex, you know full well that you’ve never been in love with anyone but yourself.”
“That was the old me” insisted Rex passionately. “I’ve changed. For the first time, I know how it feels really to love a man, to love him with all my heart. Oh, God, I love Dingo so much!”
As Rex began to sob quietly, June tried to gather her thoughts. This was something new, something she’d never expected. If it had happened earlier, it would’ve thrown her for a loop, threatening her financial security. Now, however, with her own little secret, this news was no biggie. No, no biggie at all.
So, smiling serenely and playing her role of supportive wife to the fullest, June said in her most comforting tone,
“Why don’t you tell me all about it, Rex?”
At that, Rex broke down completely, crying until he had no more tears to cry. When at last he was able, the story burst forth in such a gush of words, June could hardly understand it all.
“Oh, God, I met Dingo in New Orleans, on one of those trips when I told you I was attending a medical conference. He lives in the French Quarter and is very wealthy. For me, it was love at first sight.
We spent that very night together, and our lovemaking involved every possible permutation of penile physical penetration practiced. Feeling his round, warm, hairy belly on my ass with each thrust…and then afterward, snuggling into him and resting my head on his shoulder, feeling his manly grey whiskers scratching my forehead…I felt such emotion I could hardly contain myself.
Although we had barely slept, we were up early the following morning. The cook hadn’t yet arrived, so we wandered down to the kitchen to fend for ourselves. Unfortunately, once there, we ran into one of Dingo’s hired help. It seems that he really can’t stand this lady, and he immediately began to lambaste and berate her mercilessly. For some reason, he kept shouting at her that she couldn’t even write his grocery list. He also sneered that in addition, she wouldn’t be able to write her way out of the bags in which she brought his groceries home! Whoa! That man doesn’t get fucked, he fucks…with anyone he pleases. But I love him so.
At first, I wondered what on earth could cause my beloved to vent his wrath on the poor lady in such a manner. I was puzzled for a while, but then I figured it out. The bottom line, plain and simple, is that she’s prettier than he is! We all know how vain we gay men are, right?
I myself have never had to worry about that, naturally, as no one looks as good as I do. I thought that this time, I’d finally found a man who wouldn’t be envious of me, but June, since that one enchanted evening, Dingo hasn’t called, he hasn’t e-mailed, he hasn’t texted. I simply can’t go on without him. What am I to do?”
June just smiled like the Mona Lisa and stayed quiet. The truth was, she was done with Rex. She’d met her own true love aboard ship and was planning to run off with him at the first opportunity, leaving Rex with Sarah, their adopted bastard child, sister of the bastard Rusty. She’d take Rex for everything she could and move on.
So Rex could just go fuck himself!
commodorejohn
December 14th, 2009 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

#165 Muffaroo – This might bring back some memories, then.

I can’t believe that Tammy Faye Bakker, of all people, thought she could be the next Shari Lewis.
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

170. commodorejohn
Actually, TV’s Craig Ferguson is the next Sheri Lewis. Kinda. In a strange late night sort of way.
AndyL
December 14th, 2009 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

I wish I knew what was going on in Monday’s Hagar the Horrible.

So Hagar is imprisoned by some sort of joint English/Viking alliance?
Muffaroo
December 14th, 2009 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

commodorejohn @170 – Memories for who? I never watched the show! I came in on Jim & Tammy after they were already in the PTL Club. Lucky for me, I had a VCR toward the end of their meteoric career, so I caught them doing ads for Suzy Moppet. Well, now I know who the alligator in the ad was: Allie! (Should’ve guessed it.)

Now one of my regrets is not having the VCR on for more of “Tammy Faye’s House Party,” where she brought in what seemed like most of the side show for folksy chat and recipes (they made, and ate, “Mock Apple Pie,” in which Ritz crackers stand in for the apples). Among Tammy’s differently abled friends were a pair of walrus people who cried at the drop of a hat, so I called them “The Blubbers.”

If you’re morbidly interested in this sort of thing, I once ran across a flickr photoset of the more-or-less abandoned “Heritage USA” park in Carolina. Wild stuff.
Muffaroo
December 14th, 2009 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

…but what a great link. Thanks, man! I’ve been through the 365 Days project and gotten some great stuff, but I’m pretty sure I would have remembered if I’d ever heard Tammy singing a duet between her pig-faced puppet and her alligator puppet. I CONFESS! I CAUSED GLOBAL WARMING!! AHAHAHA MAKE IT STOP!!!
Écureuil Écumant
December 14th, 2009 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

@140 Muffaroo: Mock apple pie with Ritz crackers! Good God, that came out of the original “Joy of Cooking” — the one that also had instructions on bilin’ possums. The current edition just can’t compare.

Speaking of cookbooks, if you’ve ever eaten Moosewood, you’ll never forget it.
Écureuil Écumant
December 14th, 2009 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

Where did that @140 come from? I meant @173. Too much possum stew I guess.
Poteet
December 14th, 2009 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

# 113 rachel — I checked Wiki, and Juliette is/was a “professor at a New Hampshire university.” I assume that she is indeed a biology professor(?) I know several of those around the Midwest. The ones I know are hard-working, low-key, and have good senses of humor. If any of them ambush their colleagues for workplace sex or pretend they are panthers, they mercifully keep it to themselves.
commodorejohn
December 14th, 2009 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

#174 Muffaroo – Oh, definitely. That isn’t the sort of thing one ever forgets. No matter how desperately one tries.

Anyway, have you been through the 2007 365 Days Project? That one doesn’t have quite so many aural atrocities, but they got enough server space to where they could put whole albums up for download.
Joe Blevins
December 14th, 2009 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

I just noticed that in the fourth panel of Mark Trail, Mark acknowledges the readers, thereby breaking the fourth wall. The metaphysical implications here are staggering. The seemingly-oblivious-to-everything Mark is apparently aware that he is a fictional character, doomed to spend eternity — or however long the newspaper industry holds out — punching and self-narrating his way through the same old storylines about poachers and polluters again and again, with no hope of escape. He never ages and will never die, and the closest thing he has to a soulmate in the aptly-named limbo called Lost Forest is a St. Bernard. Suddenly, I understand Mark so much better! The bland facade of genial idiocy he projects is merely his way of coping with this nightmarish time-loop. His monologues on Sunday, then, are his desperate comuniques to those of us on the outside. Damn, Mark, I feel for ya. Punch all the sideburned and goteed hooligans you want. And go ahead and leave Rusty pinned under that car if you feel like it.
gnome de blog
December 14th, 2009 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

155 commodorejohn said:

JP – The police. You’re going to make the police sign. For evidence. Right. You do that.

163 Lanfranc said:

Judge Parker: The utterly incompetent way these people go about handling this rather important piece of evidence is hilarious. But maybe I’m just naive in expecting the writers of a (supposedly) legal-themed comic strip to know how the legal system works.

The rules for evidence, police procedures, and legal ethics – noth to mention the laws of physics – are different in the Spencerverse.
Poteet
December 14th, 2009 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

# 180 gnome de blog — Yep. And female physiology works a little differently in the Spencerverse also. It’s an interesting place.
Poteet
December 14th, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

# 179 Joe — That’s…that’s too heartbreaking. Please let me continue to believe that he really IS a genial idiot.
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

182. Poteet
It’s Christmas time!
The comics gift to you is that you may believe anything you wish!
Edge
December 14th, 2009 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

Even Daisy looks disturbed by the Mini-Dithers
Citric
December 14th, 2009 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

I misread today’s Baldo as “We need to watch our penis,” and it was still less perverse than the average Luann.
wossname
December 14th, 2009 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

175 Écureuil Écumant – Yes!!! I still have a copy of that old Joy of Cooking, my mother’s old copy. It has all kinds of helpful hints about removing icky glands from skunks and possums and things, and parboiling them (the critters, not the glands) for hours so they’ll taste less gamy.

Not to upset anyone who posts in here, but I think it even has instructions on how to cook a raccoon. (But not a Racoon, of course.)
Baron Bizarre
December 14th, 2009 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

Muffaroo @ 174 says:I’ve been through the 365 Days project and gotten some great stuff, but I’m pretty sure I would have remembered if I’d ever heard Tammy singing a duet between her pig-faced puppet…

I must confess that when I first read that sentence, I thought the word after “pig-faced” was going to be “daughter”.

I am filled with shame.
odinthor
December 14th, 2009 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

#171. Sequitur. —

Actually, TV’s Craig Ferguson is the next Sheri Lewis. Kinda. In a strange late night sort of way.

My father had the distinction of nearly running over Sheri Lewis one day in a parking lot in Santa Monica. Back in the ‘60s, we had just attended a performance at the S.M. Civic Auditorium of Bye Bye Birdie in which she starred (also Jerry Van Dyke and Kathleen Freeman), were rushing to beat the traffic out of the parking lot, when a figure darted into our lane. Sheri Lewis! [pause for gasp] ! With a screech, we stopped, she put her hand on the hood of our car for a moment, and then trotted away. And thus it is that her subsequent career was due entirely to the driving skills of my father.

Curtis. — Best response to forcible looking at coworkers’ kiddie photos is a pensive “Hey! . . . Do you have the same UPS guy I do?”.

GT. — It’s a sad day when high school athletics has to populate the stands with faceless mannequins to keep team spirit up. Oh, did I say, “sad”? I meant, “bull’s eye appropriate.”

H&J. — Sigh. Many people in all sincerity “cheer up” those who have chronic leukemia by chirping, “After all, it takes so long to do anything that you’ll probably die of something else first.” Um, thanks. :-(
Uncle Lumpy
December 14th, 2009 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

Among her many accomplishments, Shari Lewis is directly responsible for postmodernism. A young Jim Henson saw her proscenium-arch puppet show on TV, and realized, “the TV doesn’t need a frame — the TV is a frame!” Legions of Assistant Professors of Cultural Studies have done little to advance the field from this single insight.
hogenmogen
December 14th, 2009 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

Sunday Sly: From Max Mouse’s perspective…
Well, I just hope Cassandra is wearing pajamas.

RMMD: Mother’s sister’s daughter. Yup. That would be your cousin. She’s not a clean freak, because she wasn’t raised to be. We get that, too. Now would you like to explain something pertaining to the plot?

The more I look at Hagar, the worse it gets. “No matter how much we say or do” like what? Wack him on the head with a wrench? Dude, he’s still wearing his helmet. And “no matter how much we say” doesn’t sound very threatening. Did you call him bad names? Jerk? Cream-puff? Smells-like-Marvin? From a guy who crosses his legs? And the part about “he refuses to talk” sounds odd. How did he ask what they’re having for dinner? This is the whole enchelada, full court press, whole nine yards, 360 degrees of suck.
Jason1981
December 14th, 2009 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

S-M: Sandman’s been watching too many Ghost Writer re-runs with his kid.
kevinbapp.com
December 14th, 2009 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

I know Mark Trail is a rugged outdoorsman and all, but I thought even he would use a plastic bag to pick up after Andy — who is apparently not housebroken. Granted, he’d need a Hefty bag for that particular dump, but it seems to be a small price to pay not to have to manhandle feces, and soil his punching hands.
Farley's Revenge
December 14th, 2009 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

#43Jamus the Bartender: Yay! When’s the big engagement party?
Farley's Revenge
December 14th, 2009 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

Why is the tree telling Cherry that people need to be loved? And does Mark realize she’s actually touching his arm?

I figure Andy’s running off so he won’t witness another episode of Mark crushing Cherry’s heart as Mark coldly tells her to keep her hands to herself.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
December 14th, 2009 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

113 rachel & 119 Mr. O’Malley: I work with people with Ph.D.s, and at least at our institution, it’s considered gauche to refer to oneself as “Dr.” (And believe me, I work with some pretentious people!)
hogenmogen
December 14th, 2009 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

Sunday MT: Fashion Police, what do you make of Mark’s fuschia button down shirt and matching jacket? I’m thinking it’s a welcome change from his utilitarian khaki ensembles, but not practical. He’s trying hard to attract the female demographic, but it’s not something he’d want to wear when hanging with all his good ol’ boy law enforcement buddies.

Tomorrow, Mark comes to. He sees the store owner and his swamp friend Bob.

Mark: BOB, THANK GOD YOU’RE HERE. WE HAVE TO SAVE RUSTY.

Bob: YOU SMASHED A FRIEND OF MINE’S WINDOW *PUNCH*

Mark: Hey, you dislodged that wax that’s been stuck in my ear for fifty years.

Bob: YOU’RE A THIEF AND YOU’RE GOING TO JAIL.

Mark: Woah, you don’t have to talk so loud. We have to get Rusty.

Bob: YOU WILL NOT STAY HERE LONG ENOUGH TO GET RUSTY, YOU WILL GO TO JAIL.

Mark: Bob – Since you became wildlife director, you’ve turned into me! Am I really this much of a dick?

Bob: *PUNCH*

Mark: I just want to borrow your old jack.

Bob: IT IS RUSTY.

Mark: Rusty? Where?
KarMann
December 14th, 2009 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

12/14 Groovy Blinkerlegume: Oh no, I just realized who that is off-panel asking about the showtune-singing. It’s that Les-stalking drama teacher, I forget the name. She’s doing casting for their musical production of Wit!
odinthor
December 14th, 2009 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

NYer CC: —

“Thank goodness she got rid of the kazoo!”
Baron Bizarre
December 14th, 2009 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

#197: I bet you’re right.
Farley's Revenge
December 14th, 2009 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

Y’know, I have a pink/fuschia parka-type jacket. Why? We were in Europe, it was cold, and that jacket was my size. I still have the jacket, mainly because it’s shoved to the back of my closet where I forget about until it gets cold here…in south Texas.

What’s Mark’s excuse?
cheech wizard
December 14th, 2009 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

Shari Lewis gave me my first protoboner when I was 4-5 years old. I’d watch her show every time it came on – and I didn’t give a damn about Lamb Chop or Charley Horse. I was smitten. People who just remember her primarily from her curly haired phase don’t realize just how attractive she was as a young woman.
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

201. cheech wizard
Oh, yeah. I remember the young woman. I remember seeing Sheri on an episode of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. when I was about 14. It was love I tell ya. Love!
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

188. odinthor
We all thank your father for stopping in time.
And if she didn’t give your father the finger, we love her even more.
Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
December 14th, 2009 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

A few musings for the day…

Josh, at home I’m now using Windows 7. When I attempt to open your site, I don’t get the standard view of comics/snark and then postings. I just get headings. I have to click to see the comics/snark. Then I have to click again to view postings. If I attempt to write a post, I can’t hit preview without it going out completely. You have to hit post and pray that everything was right.

MT: While I truly love the puppy in panel 7, it’s panel 5 that caught my attention. Yes, I realize it’s a Yule log but look at how Mark is holding it. If that isn’t a very unsubtle suggestion of his manly prowess, I don’t know what is.

Merry Archie: When did Reggie become a Wiccan? How did he levitate Archie and throw him into those lockers with just a raised finger?

Blondie: I’ve seen a lot of porn. I’ve seen a lot of porn that takes place in doctor’s offices. If it weren’t for panel three, I’d be waiting for the blare of the saxophone and the boom-chicka-bow-wow to start.

Marked for Life!: So, breaking and entering. Theft. Mark is lucky he got clocked with a wrench instead of a belly full of shotgun lead. If I were wearing my liederhosen today, I’d have the store owner tie a naked Mark to a sewer pipe and torture him with a set of pliers and Beverly Bremers CDs, all while Rusty succumbs to the rising tide.

Weary Mirth: I’m imagining Wilbur, sitting on the couch at Maury, being heckled by the audience while this young punk points fingers at him and berates him for leaving his mother. Maury will sit there with the envelope until the milling crowd is ready to rush the stage and then announce, “Wilbur Weston, you are NOT the father! In fact… YOU are the mother!”
queek
December 14th, 2009 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

The Comics Curmudgeon has its own TVTropes page.

*mindblown*
Sequitur
December 14th, 2009 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

queek’s discovery at 205.
Allow me to give you a link to it.
odinthor
December 14th, 2009 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

#203. Sequitur. —

188. odinthor
We all thank your father for stopping in time.
And if she didn’t give your father the finger, we love her even more.

Pro that she was, she graciously fled in numb and abject fear. Actually, my theory has always been that she saw me in the back seat, was smitten, but wisely fled not wanting to get involved with jail-bait. I still think this when people flee me today, but I leave out the “jail-bait” part.
Calico
December 14th, 2009 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

#184 – Voodoo Dithers!
Go on, Dag, don’t be so damned transfixed! Now it’s your turn. (Heeheeheehee)
Jamus The Bartender
December 14th, 2009 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

190. Sadly, she was not, and I can prove this, by all the calls from Max Mouse to “Help wit da Christmas stuff or anythin’ else ya need”…poor Melody doesn’t even have a wreath on her door.
193. Thanks Farley. I have something in mind for an engagement party, but not sure when i’ll post it, real life being what it is. Thanks for all the nice comments.
Fashion Police
December 14th, 2009 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

#196, hogenmogen:

We suspect Mr. Trail’s fuschia habiliments were a gift from Mrs. Trail last Christmas, and worn for the first time.
B. Racoon
December 14th, 2009 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

wossname @186 – You just made me shudder. And believe me, I do not easily shudder.
Charterstoned
December 14th, 2009 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

MT – Now that Mark knows we’re watching him, I now know that he allowed us the chance to observe him delivering his “Love and Be Loved” lecture to Cherry. Now I know that Mark has a secret door into some old lady’s nursing home room so that he can show us how she loves her pet. Fine. But I don’t want to be shoved into the fireplace!
Nim
December 14th, 2009 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

When I saw that Blondie yesterday, I made a point of cutting it out to add to my “Disturbing Comics” collection, and couldn’t wait to see it up here.

I think the freakiest bit is the last panel. Just look at Dagwood’s “Little Friend”, and you will become mesmerized as it’s blank, glasses-clad eyes stare into your very soul. Kind of.
PepperjackCandy
December 14th, 2009 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

Q: Cassandra Cat claimed that a valuable ring was stolen right off her finger. How does Slylock Fox know she’s lying?

A: Cats don’t have fingers.
Sam
December 14th, 2009 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

Cassandra, impatient with the pace of her relationship with Shylock, has begun to make passive-aggressive hints about marriage. Her “missing ring” is, of course, the engagement ring that Shylock has so far failed to produce to make an honest cat out of her.

Her sexily disheveled bathrobe is not solely intended to complete the cover that will keep dim-witted Max from noticing the subtext, but is also a carefully arranged lure to draw the wary Shylock out of his reservations about commitment.
Just some guy
December 15th, 2009 at 5:59 am [Reply]

I hope Vern Troyer plays mini-Dithers in the 2010’s Dagwood film adapation.
8th Man Fan
December 15th, 2009 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

#204 Dingo: Previewed and posted this using IE8 on Windows 7, works okay. The issues may be due to the browser or Java rather than Windows.
cheesegrits
December 15th, 2009 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

Just like Larry King, Wilber finds he thinks better if he sniffs his fingers.
Cormac Brown
December 18th, 2009 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

Mini-Dithers isn’t going to tell Dagwood to kill. Mini-Dithers is a voodoo doll that is just waiting for night time, so that it will go off on Dagwood, like he’s Karen Black. “Trilogy of Terror” time.
abass
January 25th, 2010 at 9:57 am [Reply]

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Blondie, directed by David Lynch

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