Main content:


Sam will peck this cad within an inch of his life!

Gil Thorp, 1/28/10

Most hilarious image in today’s comics: Steve Luhm’s sweatshirt, tied around his waist and twirling about madly, making him look like he’s wearing a tutu in panel two. Almost as funny: him following up his Sherlock Holmes-style sussing out of Cassie’s lack of growth with some dribbling advice. Shouldn’t she be really good at dribbling, since she’s been the same distance from the ground for the past few years? Also, shouldn’t her actual paid coach have noticed that her dribbling was terrible?

Judge Parker, 1/28/10

Also a hilarious image: Sam reacts to the information that Neddy has decided to move in with her boyfriend — no, wait, I’m sorry, has taken a “live-in lover,” which sounds much hotter — by performing an angry interpretive dance, in which he channels an enraged chicken of paternal vengeance. You can see in panel two that he’s strained his neck in the process, but the important thing is that he’s made his point.

Pluggers, 1/28/10

I was going to make a joke about how pluggers are so old that plugger hypochondriacs think they’re dying of archaic diseases. But then I did a bit of research (NOT ON WEBMD I AM NO PLUGGER) and found out that today, most beriberi cases occur in alcoholics whose drink-ravaged bodies can no longer properly absorb Vitamin B1. Thus, I’m going to go with “Pluggers are all terrible boozer degenerates” instead.

212 responses to “Sam will peck this cad within an inch of his life!”

  1. bats :[
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Sam: “Whew, this parenting business is hard work. Maybe I’ll go investigate D’Vito’s murder some more.”

  2. Ian C.
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    Is anyone else disturbed that not only is the tomato sauce in today’s Arlo & Janis inky black, but even despite this inky blackness, Janis appears concerned that it is her husband’s blood?

  3. Ed Dravecky
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Brenda Starr: “Can chamomile tea soften steel?” Yes, we call it “rust”.

    Dick Tracy: Hey, it’s the much-discussed string quartet and they’re–HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL! What the hell is wrong with that fourth guy’s head? It looks like his father was one of those heads on Easter Island and… hey, he’s got NO ARMS. My relief at seeing that the rigged violin might just go through the scanner after all is more than offset by the armless Moai-headed monster in line behind the violinist.

    Love is…: …oddly depressing this week. My dog died a couple of years ago and the loss still hurts but it was love that caused the pain and love that will cure it in time but love is not the pain itself. Who let Batiuk write this week’s strips?

    Wizard of Id: Ha! It’s funny because her crystal ball sounds like AOL, circa 1994.

    (and posted yesterthread, just seconds before today’s thread went up:)

    ReFoob: You know the best way to treat a neck or spinal injury? Move the victim around a lot, making sure to awkwardly bend him, before dumping him unsecured in the back of a car. (The Canadian Red Cross must teach first aid differently than the American one.)

  4. Ruth Ann
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Snuffy Smith: Thanks for mentioning me in today’s strip, Jughaid! I’m so glad our rural, backwoods romance out into the Appalachian air!

    And late snark on Mary Jane’s brahaha ~ could one of the guys here send the artist a Victoria’s Secret catalog to use to draw from instead of the Sears or Lane Bryant catalog he’s obviously referencing?

  5. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Sam as a chicken? Oh, come ON, Josh!

  6. Master Softheart
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    JP: If the only way that Sam can show emotion is through interpretive dance, I say we respect that and honor the fact that something aside from money can actually penetrate the armor of indifference and condescension in which his flickering, forgotten soul is encased.

    Of course, the next thought that crosses his mind will almost certainly involve Neddy’s trust fund and the dangers to her fiscal health posed by said live-in lover, but for one shining moment, a flash of paternal concern over the emotional health and vulnerability of his adopted daughter did seem to possess him.

    On another note, today’s comic raises questions for those of us who actually follow the strip. Neddy was supposed to stay with her ancient aunt at the flat said aunt shared with her equally venerable manservant/lover. In fact, the need to raise $2 million and change to buy that flat was what motivated or, um, had some unspecified and vague connection to the California winery plot that allowed us to see the gorgeously Baretto-ized Trudi and the curvaceous Rusty – whose other purpose in the strip was to make Sam’s sense of legal ethics look good by comparison. What happened with the Paris real estate and the aunt who was dying of inoperable brain cancer? More importantly, what happened to Cedric, the beefcake replacement manservant who rescued Abbey and Neddy from the most hilarious street thugs in Paris (who, admittedly, looked good when he stripped them to their underwear and locked them in a shed) and whose insanely jealous wife was considering attacking Neddy over the attention being paid her by Cedric? And what about the lower class boy who Neddy fell for at some country club immediately before she left for Paris? I for one will be disappointed if all of this vanishes like a fever dream and Paris is now about nothing but the Neddy’s live-in lover and their shared passion for footwear.

    The insane, implausible complexity of Judge Parker is on my short list (along with Baretto’s art, the hilarious bizarro-world legal system, and the powerful Marxist subtext, um, and did I mention Baretto’s art?) of reasons for loving this strip. I yearn for resolution to at least some of these plots…

  7. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando (#y264): One of my favorite moments of the day is when my dog gives me exactly the look that…. that little squee-critter is giving!

    @Écureuil Écumant (#y265): I love the smell of momentum in the morning. Stay tuned for further details…

  8. tb4000
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    A Pluggers doc knows that thar internet is nothing but a tool of the devil, and that a well placed leech is the cure for what ails ya.

  9. dmac
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    That’s quite a close-up in the final panel of Rex Morgan, M.D. Do you think the characters ever get stuck up against the panels?

  10. Patrick
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    What is it with Gil Thorp and shiny, shiny floors? I know basketball courts are well-polished, but today’s strip looks like Walt Disney’s Hackneyed Basketball Advice On Ice!

  11. bman
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    It’s either alcoholism or this Plugger is chronically malnourished. Perhaps he’s been living on cat food since his retirement fund dried up. Either way, it’s curious how the doctor’s main concern is that he’s no longer the first source of medical advice.

  12. Fashion Police
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @Master Softheart (#6): We agree entirely, and we are gleefully anticipating Miss Spencer showing of a selection of insanely impossible footwear.

  13. Baka Gaijin
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth: So Sally’s sister just sits there on the borrowed futon, caressing her pussy. Yeah.

    Pluggers: That Plugger didn’t have his hearing aid on. His wife said that he’s a bear who likes berries.

    Archie: His hair has wings, just like those fancy panty liners.

    Mutts: Poor Earl. He sleeps alone now that Mooch has become Purina Bear Chow.

  14. skullcrusherjones
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Gil: Steve Luhmis sweating bullets while relating his story of teaching a high school player some basketball fundamentals. This indicates that he is so out of shape that a little dribbling has him winded hour(s) later or that his flush with the thought of improving an underage woman’s ball handling abilities.

    In either case (and especially since he’s the bleeping janitor) he shouldn’t be within 100′ of that gym!

  15. littlestevie
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    SM: So is Mary Jane into furries?

  16. Calico
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    Sam: “Why didn’t you tell me?”
    Abby: Because, “You don’t understand the word ‘Lover’, let alone the phrase “Having sex.”

  17. Digger
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    Is the doctor also a Plugger? I have a hard time believing that a Plugger could make it through medical school, unless there is a special medical school specializing in the treament of obese, sedentary, anthopomorphic animals. Yeah, a medical degree from Plugger U sounds plausible.

  18. gnome de blog
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    Instead of interpretive dance, Sam has dropped into a cock-pheasant-style kung fu fighting stance.

  19. cj
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    Thorp:
    Josh, I think you’re missing the hidden genius of Coach Thorp here: instead of actually working hard at his job, he lets guest characters do the leg work and gets paid the same! Passive delegation, ain’t it grand?

  20. Perky Bird
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    With those smokin’ hot dance moves in panel one, I think Sam is about to cha-cha his way over to Luann and try out for a role in West Side Story.

  21. Metz77
    January 28th, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    Man, if it weren’t for the name on today’s Pluggers I’d think it was submitted by Dr. Scott.

  22. wossname
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    bourbon babe, unbuckled @ y262:
    I really like the idea of the mid-Atlantic meetup and I’m breathlessly standing by for substantive discussions.

    I also like this idea:

    Or I’ll just ponder the possibilities of wossname & bourbon babe, raisin’ snarky hell in Our Nation’s Capitol.

    I can see us now, happily staggering from bar to bar carrying large red or blue pencils and correcting every sign in sight. “‘Winston tastes good like as a cigarette should,’ you boneheads!” “‘Slow children crossing’? That clearly needs some punctuation!”
    We might even start accosting strangers on the street: “Excuse me, sir, did you just say ‘Between you and I‘? Grammatica and Precisiona will not tolerate that!”

  23. Bitter Scribe
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    OK, I’ll bite. Why would pluggers gravitate toward WebMD in particular?

  24. Baka Gaijin
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#Y258): MC – “Let this be a lesson, Norm: leave your self-worth in the care of the Internet and it will be spat upon, stomped into the ground, laughed at, and Photoshopped into someone’s anus.” COTW anyone?

  25. Aviatrix
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @Master Softheart (#6): Is that really what is happening in JP? I thought Judge Parker was more or less a porn movie with no sex, large breasted women with an assortment of men, numerous scene changes and set ups, but no actual plot.

  26. Sequitur
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Where Pluggers go on the web for medical advice.

  27. Aviatrix
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @dmac (#9): You think that’s a close-up,check out Mary Worth. And you really don’t want Wilbur to get stuck there. Imagine if you had to watch him eating a sandwich from that range.

  28. the crock
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    I think the term “Plugger” does not denote someone as being poor, rootsy, or blue collar. It only means “Idiots.”

  29. bats :[
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#7): this might be the natural evolution of the Sloe Gin Fizz…the Slow Sloth Fuzz?
    (Wasn’t Sloe-Gin Fizz one of Qui-Gon Jinn’s padawans in the Director’s Cut of “The Phantom Menace”?)

  30. gnome de blog
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#25): Judge Parker is insane…and brilliant. Some of us think it’s the best thing on the comics page, except Cul de Sac.

  31. Little Guy
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    GT: Adam Savage works as a janitor?

    9CL: Okay, at this point, all that’s left is You-Know-Who slamming a desk and screaming “Nein! Nein! Nein!”

    Luann: Why, yes, their penises are that small.

  32. dull_old_man
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorpe: Most girls stop growing when they start menstruating, which in the U.S. today is before ninth grade. It is preposterous to say that a girl who stopped growing in ninth grade would be passed in height by the other girls on the basketball team.

    I hate to point out one preposterous point in Gil Thorpe–I don’t have time to comment on them all. This provoked me, I think, because it would be so easy for the janitor to say, “You used to be tall for your age, but you need to change your game now that the other girls are taller.”

  33. DavidMac
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: Cassie is dribbling badly? No, I refuse to make the obvious comment, even on this blog.

  34. bats :[
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @dmac (#9): very likely. There there are always other hazards…

  35. Mardou Fox
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    Is Cue out of jail yet? It’s time for Brook to make a break for it and go live with Cue in his crib!

    FREE CUE!

  36. DMtShooter
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    Of course you work on dribbling on ice. It makes dribbling on wood much easier!

  37. Joe Blevins
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    JP: Funny, I would’ve guessed that the Invisible Man was giving Sam a much-deserved (for a lifetime of infractions) kick in the scrotum.

    GT: Steve Luhm knows he’s a creepy loser. He warned the world by tattooing little L’s all over his face. Unfortunately he did it himself in a mirror, so it came out backwards. But, still… bronze medal attempt, Steve.

    Pluggers: A genuine Reed Hoover Pluggers, people! You know what that means. Take a drink, everybody! For authenticity’s sake, make it a cocktail of rot-gut whiskey and Ensure with just a hint of flopsweat. (Your own tears can be substituted for the flopsweat if desired.)

  38. BigTed
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    Considering that pluggers are all in HMOs and have to wait weeks for a five-minute doctor visit, a little medical web-surfing may not be such a bad idea. (Except for the ones who end up paying hundreds of dollars for that “free trial” of cure-all acai pills.)

  39. bats :[
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#3): darn it, Ed, you made me look at Love is… When will this strip end? At the end of the world, I think this and Family Circus will be the only “funnies” to survive.
    Still, I can do my darnedest to see if I can’t help it along with some of its less-than-subtle creepy eroticism.

  40. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    #31 Little Guy

    9CL: Okay, at this point, all that’s left is You-Know-Who slamming a desk and screaming “Nein! Nein! Nein!”

    GEEK REFERENCE AHEAD
    You mean Bill’s plan is what winds up getting Hitler banned from XBox live?

  41. Carly
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    Gil spends all his time lurking in deep, black shadows and thus doesn’t see anything any of his players do or don’t do.

  42. Bart
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    JP – I don’t know, Josh. Head thrust forward, arched neck, hunched shoulders, one foot raised, I gotta go with the Sandhill Crane mating dance. To build on Perky Bird’s (#20) excellent idea, how about Sam dancing over to a Sunday Mark Trail educational piece on Sanhill Cranes? Mark’s could tell us that “Down the ages many people and cultures have mimicked the Sandhill Crane mating dance. Some examples include Red Skeleton skit heart attack, SNL ‘Da Bears’ skit heart attack, Sam Driver’s ‘OMG, living in sin!’ heart attack” with Elrod drawings of all three.

  43. Jess
    January 28th, 2010 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    ReFOOB: He’s lucky they are taking him to the hospital! I was both clumsy and a daredevil as a kid, so I frequently fell out of trees, went over the handlebars of my bike, fell off my skateboard, tripped and fell, took a baseball to the eye, etc etc, and when I went home battered and bloody, all I got was grounded. I usually had to dress my own roadrash with rubbing alcohol and gauze. I think that was pretty typical in the 70′s/80′s… if your kid comes home crying, you make sure nothing’s broken and send him/her back out to play again.

  44. Red Greenback
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Thorp: Third Panel: Never noticed it before, but do Steve Luhm’s facial tattoos mean that Steve Luhm is J. Jonah Jameson’s bitch?

  45. Perky Bird
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    I thought most Plugger heath care involves duct tape, Windex, and a healthy shot of whiskey.

  46. Jesse C
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    William Shatner did that exact pose when he played Hamlet

  47. Charlene
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Sam in panel 1 is channelling the late James Mitchell, the actor who played Palmer Cortlandt in All My Children. This actually makes sense, because Mitchell was a ballet dancer, and gay.

  48. Carlo
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    I would estimate that, based on Josh’s “Pluggers are all terrible boozer degenerates” description, that at least half of us on this board are Pluggers.

  49. Sequitur
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    @Jesse C (#46): Shatner did Hamlet?
    To… be,… or not… to be:… thatisthequestion:
    Whether’tis… nobler… inthe… mindtosuffer…
    Theslings… and… arrowsof… SPOCK! LINE!

  50. Rusty's Ghost
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    reFOOB: … and that’s what made Laurence GAY!!

  51. AndyL
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps one of you married people will explain today’s “Six Chix” to me.

    The joke seems to be “It sure is hard to force your husband to engage in recreation that he doesn’t enjoy at all!”
    Or possibly “He should divorce her.”

  52. seismic-2
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: With the Winter Olympics looming, there just has to be some way of getting Brook teamed up with Sally Forth’s sister in the women’s Lying About and Mooching Off Relatives relay. They would be a strong contender to win a medal, and it would give us an opportunity to introduce Rex to Ted. Need I say more?

    Of course, in the men’s Lying About and Mooching Off Relatives individual competition, Spiderman has a permanent lock on the gold.

  53. Aviatrix
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#52): Unless he runs away, or his opponent cries out, “Miami!”

  54. Anonymoose
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    I’m surprised Josh did not comment on the latest entry in Marmaduke’s and his female owner’s sordid love affair. More disturbing still is the thought of what he intends to use that leash for.

  55. dreadedcandiru2
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#3):

    I’m glad to tell you that we in Canada practice the same first aid you do; what we saw in the strip was the result of Lynn’s baffling and more or less permanent ignorance of proper medical procedures. This is a woman who, when faced with her daughter’s diarrhea, tried treating her first with expired medicine and then with a ridiculously powerful and potentially damaging antibiotic.

  56. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#22): Let’s just not become such terrible boozing degenerates so “cheerful” that we decide to go the whole Lycra-clad route—because then it will be doubly embarrassing when Josh has to come bail us out of jail.

    @Joe Blevins (#37):

    I would’ve guessed that the Invisible Man was giving Sam a much-deserved (for a lifetime of infractions) kick in the scrotum.

    Maybe it’s today’s Camouflaged Beetle, kicking the guy who’s even lower on the sub/dom totem pole than he is.

  57. Aviatrix
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Jess (#43): If the comic is going to maintain a pretense of present day, there’s no excuse for ignoring helmets. Even Mark Trail manages to depict seatbelts and life jackets when appropriate. Maybe Elly can make up for the helmet lapse with a strip on proper use of a car jack.

  58. kevinbapp.com
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:47 pm [Reply]

    So along with the pyramids and the great wall of China, it looks like we need to add Sam’s forearm hair to the list of things we can see from space. I love how it’s standing angrily at a diagonal and on end in panel one, as he does his West Side Story gang dance. What makes Neddy think that Sam won’t cut her live-in lover?

  59. Black Drazon
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    I can’t help but picture Judge Parker: The Musical now. The dramatic solo where Sam laments how his daughter is growing up out of his control and into her own life as a young woman, the rapid-fire counterpoint during the interview with the criminal that appears to be the primary plot but actually goes nowhere, Sam and Abby’s duet as the latter tries to seduece the other and the singing-mumbling something about needing 10 hours of sleep, and the way they cast Ian McKellan as Judge Randy Parker but he was never informed, is still in England and doesn’t actually appear on-stage.

  60. LordJiro
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    To be fair, the ‘hypochondria due to WebMD or Wikipedia’ is far from a Plugger-only phenomenon. It’s more of a ‘anyone who visits WebMD or looks up diseases on Wikipedia’ phenomenon.

  61. trey le parc
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    JP: Abby, we know you’re deprived of connubial bliss but passionately kissing a screen door is not the answer. And Sam, channeling Mick Jagger isn’t going to bring back Neddy’s virginity.

  62. Sans Sense
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    GT:

    What is sad is that neither Steve nor Gil has noticed that the number one hindrance to Cassie’s dribbling is not her height but her lack of hands.

  63. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    January 28th, 2010 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#3): ReFoob — Maybe this is the incident that caused Lawrence to go gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that!).

  64. Jesse C
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#49):

    The Shat does Hamlet:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mj5qKOP2tc
    bad voice synch, but only vid I could find :(

  65. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

    @Black Drazon (#59): So a Sondheim/Mamet hybrid with an overlay of Fiddler on the Roof, choreographed by Jerome Robbins?

  66. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#39): *dies laughing*

    @Ed Dravecky (#3): I was thinking that it was sort of overkill to bury sex toys when replacing the batteries no longer gets them to work.

  67. Professor Fate
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

    MW: In the second pannel we have switched to Sandwich-cam.

    FW: Is the kid with the Black hair and glasses a clone of Les? Is West field actually a clone farm? Are all the people ‘dying of cancer’ are actually being harvested for their organs. And the pizzia is what keeps them all drugged up and unaware.

  68. Comcis Fan
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    MW: Kurt had an unstable, fatherless childhood leading to an itinerant young adulthood. Wilbur lives in a townhome community where his biggest excitement comes from peeling his buttocks off his computer chair long enough to fix a sandwich, on white bread. Wilbur once had a thing for Kurt’s mother and spent a few hours fishing with the young man, and on this basis, apparently, has decided that they are kindred spirits. Translation for Dawn: Even though you share Wilbur’s DNA, you are not his kindred spirit. His favorite child is the son of his favorite woman. It’s downright biblical. (See Jacob, Joseph, coat.)

  69. mattpreston007
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    I once thought I had beri beri for an entire year. It turned out I just had mono.

  70. Charterstoned
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    @Master Softheart (#6): JP – You raise some excellent questions. Now I have one for you. Years ago, a young orphan boy showed up at Spencer Farms and Abby, good soul and collector of orphans that she is, offered him succor. (Really, she did.) Then, she sent him to the barn (I can’t remember why), and we never saw him or heard from him again. Occasionally, when reading the comics, my husband will put down the Washington Post and ask, “Whatever happened to that kid who went to the barn?” Does anyone know? Is he being raised by horses, or what?

  71. Charterstoned
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Jesse C (#46): William Shatner also did that exact pose when he played Capt. James T. Kirk. Fighting the Gorn. Fighting Amok-time Spock. Fighting Spored Spock. Fighting the other thralls on Triskelion. Making love to Shana. Making love to Elaan of Troyius. Making love to himself. This is why we love William Shatner. If you haven’t heard him sing “Mr. Tambourine Man,” Google it and then check it out. Before you know what’s happening, you will be in this exact pose, too.

  72. Sequitur
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    @Jesse C (#64): I like the first comment under the video.

    Was Shatner on drugs at this point?
    And where? can I get some of them?

  73. Roger
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp and Judge Parker have led me to construct another exciting episode of…

    Word Bubble Swap Theatre!

  74. Jesse C
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#71):

    I don’t know who you are, but you are my new favorite person ever.

  75. Sequitur
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

  76. Fashion Police
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#56): With all due respect to Ms. wossname’s reservations (and we would not presume, Mary Worth-like, to impose our views), we still believe blue pencil skirts the ideal signature look for Precisiona and Grammatica. Super-hero costume does not necessarily have to mimic the style of the secret identity; Billy Batson, for example, was far different that Captain America.

    However, we might caution that if a great deal of stumbling between bars investigating crimes against language is likely to be involved, it might be best to eschew the vanity heels in favor of sensible shoes.

  77. bats :[
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    @Roger (#73): Woo hoo! A riveting episode! I especially liked the Gil Thorpe discussing live-in lovers.

    Random Thought: why the the boi kid in “Love is…” have the same kind of helmet hair as Les did in the Pre-Jump FW?

    @mattpreston007 (#69): lucky you! Which makes me wonder…given the expansive fat asses of Pluggers and the attendant inability/non-desire to move much, I’d think Pluggers don’t so much suffer from beri beri as dingleberries.
    Sorry.

  78. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#70): Oh yeah…. I have a vague recollection of that kid; didn’t he look kind of like that hideous Eight is Enough child?

    Maybe Sultan is his new father figure, and they’re turning out to be kindred spirits.

    (I do love the sentence, “Whatever happened to that kid who went to the barn?”)

    @Fashion Police (#76): I agree with your advice; it would take quite a bit of bourbon to get me into Lycra, but none at all to get me into a pencil skirt!

  79. Baka Gaijin
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#77): Oh THANKS bats :[ . Just as I’m about to jump into bed. Now I’m going to have dingleberry dreams. Pass the brain bleach and Vivarin tablets.

  80. TheLadyM
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker: Why is Abbey holding a tiny tiny lamp in the first panel?

  81. Darkefang
    January 28th, 2010 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    If Cassie plays like someone who used to be the tallest, Steve probably means that she’s picking up her dribble and looking to pass immediately whenever the defense puts any pressure on her instead of running the offense. And yes, a coach should have picked up on that and had Cassie working on her dribbling skills for the last couple years. But this is Mimi Thorp we’re talking about.

    That brings me to another point. I’m almost ashamed to admit this, but I’ve read every Gil Thorp since about 1998. Mimi was a scholarship volleyball player in college, and from what I could tell from conversations about past storylines, coached volleyball until the now-MIA Thorp children were born. A few years later – around 2001-2002ish – Mimi was the athletic director for the women’s sports programs. She hired some guy to coach volleyball, and he promptly had to quit over some scandal (having an affair with a student, I think). Since it was too late to hire a new coach, she decided that she wanted to coach again, and took the job.

    Somehow over the last decade, Mimi has become the coach of pretty much every woman’s sport without any explanation that I can recall. In fact, I seem to recall Dr. Pearl taking over coaching duties for the basketball team at some point. I don’t remember whatever came of that.

  82. Aviatrix
    January 28th, 2010 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#78): The question is, bourbob babe, what it would take to get you out of it.

  83. Howland Awl
    January 28th, 2010 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    The first panel in JP is positively Jack Kirby-esque. Dude looks like he’s getting ready to battle Galactus.

  84. Bootsy
    January 28th, 2010 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    I hope Grammatica and Precisiona take their red pencils and poke sharply the eyes of everyone who has ever, under any circumstances, said “Between you and I”.

  85. ElkMeadow
    January 28th, 2010 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    So maybe Sam should cross-strip over to Luann and audition for the role of Tony. Just like on the television show “Frasier”, when he played the lead in the high school play to get back his father’s recliner.

    “But I don’t know the lines!” he protested.

    “Neither does anybody else,” the teacher snarled.

  86. bats :[
    January 28th, 2010 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#20): oh, Perky Bird, your imagination makes my PhotoShop go into overdrive!

  87. UncleJeff
    January 28th, 2010 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    JP: I think in the original version, Abbey’s first line was “Yup, they be fuckin’.”
    Darn syndicate censors. Those doody-heads.

  88. F. Cecious Lee
    January 28th, 2010 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    What would (should?) Grammatica and Precisiona do to someone who regularly say things in the form of “Between I and you” ?

  89. Sequitur
    January 28th, 2010 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    Wilber Weston! America speaks out!

  90. Aviatrix
    January 28th, 2010 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @F. Cecious Lee (#88): Recruit them. Hypercorrections don’t bend that way. Has to be sarcasm.

  91. Crankenstank
    January 28th, 2010 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    Sam is pretending he is the “catcher” in panel 1, and the “pitcher” in panel 2.

  92. Charterstoned
    January 28th, 2010 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    @Jesse C (#74): I am the wind.

  93. The Ridger
    January 28th, 2010 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#22): Just make sure you don’t correct anything with historical value, or you could end up with a hefty fine, barred from US Parks for years…

  94. Jason1981
    January 28th, 2010 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    S-M: “It sounds like I live in a zoo!”

    “You think that’s somethin, MJ, you should hear about this guy on… –Eternia , I think the planet was–his name is RAM MAN! Talk about ridiculous, huh, MJ?…..MJ?…why are you looking up NASA launches on the computer?….MJ, I don’t think he’s named after THAT kind of ram!”

  95. The Ridger
    January 28th, 2010 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#90): They’ll be very busy. And it’s not a hypercorrection, it’s a very different phenomenon, which is why “Me and you” exists as a nominative.

    And none are them are really worth committing assault over, are they?

  96. Mibbitmaker
    January 28th, 2010 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    9CL: What, she trusts a friggin’ NAZI over her own? That’s awful, obnoxious, self-serving in the worst, counterproductive way… and perfect for her and her progenys’ temperment.

    Archie: Taking credit for another’s toil. Archie, that’s unethical and unfair to some poor schlub who’s better than you could ever hope to be! You’d make a great NBC executive!
    This is my ‘Late Night Wars’ Comment Of The Day. Tell your friends.

    BBlues:
    The Tadpoles
    2010 – 2010
    ~~R.I.P~~

    Cranky: One-upped Cranky’s pointless, sudden (not that long ago) ‘joke’ gimmick, and with twice the smug.

    Dilbert: Speaking of being one-upped, that guy just outdid Dr. Spaceman. Chris Parnell’s still funnier, though.

    DT: Looks like new generation members of the Dead String Quartet to me.

    FC: PJ getting Hood-winked.

    FW: “Don’t bring STRIPS into this! This is geek time here.”

    GF: Catbert is jealous.

    GT: The impish spirit of Will Elder snuck in and made the basketball hoop look like a waste basket (Elder’s spirit, Whigham’s art).

    MT: “Which, for some strange reason, makes me smile. It’s almost as if I’m a picture template endlessly photocopied and fit into a comics panel so the artist doesn’t have to draw so much or something…”

    MG&G: Naw… too Linda Tripp-y.

    Mutts: On the plus side, Earl’s eulogy was very touching.

    Phantom: Get in line, Emma Peel — everyone’s trying to destroy the Ghost Who Walks this time of year.

    RMMD: “…And cut it out with the ‘moody shading’ bit, it won’t work with me!”

  97. mav
    January 28th, 2010 at 6:31 pm [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#71):

    That is brilliant, but I don’t think anything, ever, in the history of humanity, can touch Shatner doing Rocket Man at the Science Fiction Film Awards.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NN3MGN899yE

  98. odinthor
    January 28th, 2010 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    GT. — In panel one, the fact that Steve is palming that traditional Native American foodstuff, a squash, as well as the appearance in the panel of that other characteristic Native American product, a basket, tips us off to the particular paradigm in play for this episode. In panel two, Steve has begun his transformation, tail first, into a Lakota Thunderbird. This is entirely appropriate for a janitor, as the Thunderbird controls rain—in Steve’s case, both the “rain” which comes from his custodial bucket and that which is precipitating off his head in panel three. The validity of this interpretation is reinforced by panel three’s featuring of a reference to XIT, the well-known American Indian rock group of the 1970s. We say Bravo! to this long overdue recognition by Gil Thorp of the native races!

  99. Mr. O'Malley
    January 28th, 2010 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    @Bootsy (#84): @F. Cecious Lee (#88): As they say in Cornwall, people do be making fun of we because of the way us do talk, but us don’t be paying any mind to they.

  100. One-eyed Wolfdog
    January 28th, 2010 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    A plugger doc has grown blasé about treating agonizingly swollen spider bites, which have been on the uptick ever since the mid nineties due to his clients’ childishly literal understanding of “surfing the web”.

  101. Stroker Ace
    January 28th, 2010 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    JP – Sam has seen ‘Westside Story’ far too many times. Far, far too many.

  102. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando
    January 28th, 2010 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    As a comment, here in the upper Midwest, surrounded by the beauty that is the Great Lakes, I’d just like to point out that

    IT’S Margo-Saturning COLD out there!!!!!!

  103. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando
    January 28th, 2010 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

    @F. Cecious Lee (#88): well, if I have to choose a way to go, between Grammatica and Precisiona wouldn’t be so bad of a way. . . .

    *runs for cover*

  104. Violet
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    I think Dawn can just relax about this whole paternity issue. As soon as Kurt hears that he is supposedly a kindred spirit to Wilbur he will shoot himself in the head and the point will be rendered moot. Wouldn’t you?

  105. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#82): Oh, dear—it’s been so long since anyone worthwhile tried that I have no idea!

    @Sequitur (#89): If that guy in the final panel shows up claiming to be related to Wilbur, I think we can all agree that in this case, no DNA test is necessary.

    @The Ridger (#95):

    And none are them are really worth committing assault over, are they?

    ((Ponders which grammatical abominations are worth committing assault over….))

  106. seismic-2
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    I’ve always admired how that square-jawed straight-arrow attorney Sam Driver is a real stand-up sort of guy. In fact, today he demonstrates that he can stand up even while still sitting down.

  107. Ukulele Ike
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

  108. Violet
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    Blaze is so damned tired of people asking him if he’s serious. The kerchief? For real? LuAnn’s the smart one in the family? Blaze????!!!!!

  109. Muffaroo
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#49): Please sit down. Okay? You’re securely in place? All right, please brace yourself. Shatner was a somewhat renowned Shakespearean actor who had been acclaimed for his performances at the Stratford Festival, where he was once called in at short notice to sub for the lead in (if memory etc) Henry V. This meant cramming a lot of lines into his head in a very short time, and he had to… FUMBLE for words… and… LINES. To his surprise, this hesitation and catching up was acclaimed as innovative acting, and he made it part of his repertoire of effects. More information on Shatner can be found in the Encyclopedia Shatnerica. I strongly recommend it; a book that does not shy away from hilariously mocking ‘Shat’ or even from praising him on occasion.

    @Mibbitmaker (#96): I take it “R.I.P.” here simply means “Rest In Pee.”

    @Ukulele Ike (#107): Jerome was self-aware in a way those sad-eyed shambling hairy hulks of sub-humanity that go to Wal-Mart for fun and dream of spending a week in Branson some day will never be. Also, he was a genius, and they all seem to be idiots. There just may be a flaw in your comparison somewhere.

  110. Mibbitmaker
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando (#102): This winter really has been cold as a Margo-Zucker, hasn’t it?

  111. F. Cecious Lee
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando (#103): It would be a waste to use that combined awesome super heroine force on someone that mangles bad grammar that badly.

  112. MrGuy
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    I know it’s been said before, but really: How has the definition of a plugger moved to encompass “Neurotics who can actually use computers?” Because I was under the impression that Pluggers were, you know, the opposite of that.

  113. wossname
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    Thanks for all the advice for Grammatica and Precisiona. I should point out that if this mission by the Legion of Punctuation Avengers happens in conjunction (haha, conjunction, get it?) with a possible Mid-Atlantic ‘Mudgeon Meet-Up, many of y’all could be there too, bailing us out helping us dispense justice.

    Grammatica (bb,u) @ 56 – I agree, definitely no Lycra. Fashion Police @ 76, thank you for your gracious suggestion. I guess if I go to the gym and stop eating, I could look fine in a blue pencil skirt by whenever we’re talking about. But wouldn’t a pencil skirt with sensible shoes look even less fashionable than, oh, let’s say a T-shirt and jeans (which hypothetically might be a person’s usual costume of choice)?

    Bootsy @ 84, yes, we will poke them, but The Ridger @ 95, we will not poke them hard enough to qualify as assault – just hard enough to get their attention.

    And on a related subject, Carlo @ 48

    I would estimate that, based on Josh’s “Pluggers are all terrible boozer degenerates” description, that at least half of us on this board are Pluggers.

    But we drink the good stuff, not sloe gin and Tab! I admit to being a terrible boozer degenerate, but please tell me I’m not a Plugger.

    And Baka Gaijin @ 79 – not to pry, but why are you going to bed at 5 p.m.?

  114. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    @F. Cecious Lee (#111): *insert obligitory “I’ve been bad” comment here*

  115. wossname
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @F. Cecious Lee (#111): You mean because he said “wouldn’t be so bad of a way. . . .”? I hope I can speak for both us when I say that queek gets a pass on that one, based on (a) colloquial form of address (b) his oh-my-god-that’s-sooo-cute baby animal pix (c) his fabulous cooking and (d) his fun and enjoyable persona, in an interwebs kind of way (by which I merely mean that I don’t know him in real life).

  116. Jamus The Bartender
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    Spider Man: Upon a first reading, it seems like MJ is happy that Peter is coming to Miami with her. And she is. Until she starts asking way too many questions about Wolverine and Sabretooth. Before this is over, she’ll probably have BOTH of them over for dinner for some ” experimenting”. And Peter will be allowed to watch.
    Sally Forth: Hm. I wonder if Sherlock Holmes is still playing at the Sundance theatre….
    Rex Morgan:Brook’s gonna be their sex slave, Brook’s gonna be their sex slave, Brook’s gonna be their sex slave….YES!!
    FW and FC: These two got me to thinking about the parentage of our favorite comic strip characters. And superheroes. Yes, it’s too late to stop me….
    Juliette Burber: Her mom is currently in hospital, telling wartime stories. There was hope that it would end on a bang with the words ” …dropped a bomb in my lap”, but no such luck.
    Dick Tracy: His parents are probably dead by now. Either from old age or crossfire.
    Snoopy: Given up by his parents at the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm, first to Lila, then Charlie Brown. Cassandra Cat says it’s nice.
    Brook Bradford: Parents are either boozers or theives, depending on who you listen to, leading her to a life of sexual slavery, serving the Morgans, we hope we hope we hope….
    Superman: Parent’s planet blowed up.
    Batman: Parent’s insides blowed up. In an alley.
    Wonder Woman: No daddy as such, but apparently, following instructions from Geppeto, I mean the goddess Athena, Mommy was able to make WW out of clay, and voila….new baby. And without that nasty, awful sex with men.
    Aquaman: Left with local lighthouse tender….this always sounded fishy (hee hee), I chalk this one up to some local cousins “experimenting” getting out of hand, and wanting to get rid of their “flipper baby”.
    Hawkman: Dad was a prominent scientist who had an underground hospital for alien poor people, and he got shot during a deal gone bad. I am NOT making this up.
    Flash: According to Geoff Johns, REVERSE FLASH did in Barry Allen’s dad. This might have changed by this writing…
    Captain America: Dad died in WW1, Mom soon after in the slums of New York.
    Spider Man: Mom and Dad were spies for Nick Fury. Died overseas. Uncle Ben got shot because Spider Man was lazy. Aunt May got shot because Spider Man took off his mask on live television, but Satan fixed most of that.
    Okay…..
    FOOB: Well, then, let’s look at today’s tally sheet.
    First of all…Elly…you introduced Connie to your musician brother, Phil, and as we all know, musicians will NEVER commit to a healthy relationship and give you lots of babies. Well, they might give you lots of babies, but they may not stick around.
    Secondly, you let dumb as a post Connie drive off to Toronto…with Phil’s pipe. Those are…what, five, ten bucks at a drugstore? People forget hats in winter when they want to see you again. Phil forgot his pipe because he’s a dumbass.
    Now, you let Lawrence drive Mike’s bike into a tree….and he’s off to hospital. All I can say is this……Therese’s mom is REALLY hot !!!
    Are we proud of ourself, Elly? SPEAK UP ELLY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU….
    No, I suspect we aren’t.

  117. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#113): I might be wrong here, but I think that the estimable Mr. Gaijin lives in Great Britain.

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando (#114):

    “I’ve been bad”

    But most of all, this is why we’ll overlook the little errors. ;-)

  118. Mordock999
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Luann – 01/28/10

    Ah, forget commentary about today’s strip.
    Lets talk about hate. Gunter-Hate.
    Some folks here seem to think Gunther a Creep.
    Creep? Hell, back in my ‘day’ CREEP used to MEAN something. You really HAD to do something VILE to be considered a TRUE “Creep”.
    Things like, oh I dunno, burning down the local orphanage, or jilting a young lady at the alter, or BBing the neighbor’s cat.
    NOW, all you have to do to be a Creep is be an unhandsome, nice guy like Gunther. Ha.
    I’m tellin’ ya this Country is IN serious trouble.

    Oh, I almost forgot, ANOTHER one was blowing up people’s mailboxes with M-80s. That one was one of my FAV…..,
    _______________________
    …, er DEATH to TJ, BYE!!!!

  119. Poteet
    January 28th, 2010 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    JP — Josh, your “enraged chicken” was superlative. I laughed so hard I almost choked.

    ReFoob — Thank you to the Mudges whose previous comments mean I don’t have to rant at length about transporting a child with unknown injuries by tossing him into a car.

  120. F. Cecious Lee
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#115): I was referring to the “I and you” offender. I didn’t catch queek’s offense. I’ll go along with giving him a pass for all of the reasons you gave.

  121. KarMann
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#105):

    ((Ponders which grammatical abominations are worth committing assault over….))

    All of them. Especially sentence fragments.

  122. wossname
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    @KarMann (#121): Ah, but KarMann, stage directions are not required to be sentences. (I just made that up.)

  123. Poteet
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    JP — Per the discussion as to whether Sam is channeling a chicken or a crane — I’ve seen and admired sandhill crane dancing, and much of Sam’s body seems to be an homage to it. But dancing cranes tend to raise their wings. Sam’s dropped arms are more like the dropped wings of a dancing prairie chicken, but his legs don’t seem right, and he really needs inflated neck sacs to pull it off. Anyway, below are a dancing crane and prairie chicken in case anyone wants to do further analysis.

    http://prairiechickenviewing.webs.com/Prairie-ChiStock_0000048684.jpg

    http://k41.pbase.com/u41/gkp/upload/26671646.DancingwithSandhills.jpg

  124. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#123): I don’t know about the dancing part, but if we’re looking for inflated neck sacs, we might turn our attention to Our Friend Wilbur.

  125. KarMann
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#122): Oh, that was nothing to do with “Ponders…” as a sentence fragment. That was meant to be pretty much entirely self-referential. First I got the idea to reply “all of them”; then I noticed that that would be a sentence fragment, at which point the rest fell naturally into place. And now I’ve explained it to death, something which I try to avoid.

  126. Red Greenback
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#123): Poteet, re the link: http://k41.pbase.com/u41/gkp/upload/26671646.DancingwithSandhills.jpg… The sandhill crane must be doing the Lambada

  127. Jesse C
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    @mav (#97):

    Rocketman is classic. 30 years later, the Shat still has it. Have you heard him doing “Common People”?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXWEM4gZhg4

  128. Master Softheart
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#12): I certainly did not mean to imply that there would be anything at all wrong with making the strip’s next story arc focus primarily on implausible footwear and those who design, market, wear, and love it. While I personally do not enjoy a foot fetish that would make such a story completely irresistible, I strongly support essentially any fashion-oriented plotline that will be illustrated by Eduardo Baretto. What I do hope, though, is that we are granted some closure on the (at least) five other Neddy-related plotlines that were left hanging when Abbey left her in Paris to start the semester at the highly prestigious École d’art non spécifiée.

  129. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @KarMann (#125): But you’ve explained it to death in quite wonderfully correct prose, and so you receive Grammatica’s and Precisiona’s Loving Head Pat of Approval instead of the feared Red-Pen Poke of Disdain.

  130. Master Softheart
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#25): Re: Judge Parker: All great art operates on multiple levels – a critique of post-Gramscian class analysis and the corruption of America’s bourgeois legal and political institutions just goes better with incoherent quasi-pornography.

  131. Anonymous
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#123): You have enlightened me about Sam Driver – I should have realized that he is practicing the kata that will allow him to achieve inner peace in dealing with Neddy’s life choices, or to defeat Neddy’s lover in Kung Fu if necessary.

    Sam is not yet ready to join the Order of the Softhearted, but I respect that his instinct when faced with shocking news is to clear his mind while preparing for violence.

  132. Josh
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#123): Oh, God, please don’t make me think about Sam Driver’s neck sacs, inflated or otherwise.

    Josh

  133. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    @Master Softheart (#130): Let us not forget the deconstruction of traditional gender roles, in which the male attempts to assert his rooster-like authority (or his “cock,” if you will) but can only achieve impotent chicken-flapping when faced with the emasculating powers of his female partner’s control over the family knowledge base; she retains authority by controlling his access to information and thus the very discourse in which they operate.

  134. Aviatrix
    January 28th, 2010 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @Master Softheart (#130): Now you’ve got me wondering how many actual porn movies are actually deconstructionalist literature. Maybe I should also check if they are moaning in morse code.

  135. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando
    January 28th, 2010 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#115): ((((wossname)))))

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#117): “When I’m good, I’m very good. When I’m bad, I’m better.” (with thanks to Mae West)

  136. Aviatrix
    January 28th, 2010 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#129): I can tolerate all kinds of poor grammar and spelling. It’s formatting that makes me twitch. Worthy as they may be, I simply don’t read any posts by mr 12 oz can or long posts by Jamus the Bartender because the former uses no capital letters and the latter posts lists of comments in a huge block of text with no line spacing or bolding. It’s like trying to read Chaucer or lolcat. What one person posts, a hundred are going to read; can’t the one take a little trouble for the good of the many?

    Advance apologies for the egregious formatting error that any comment of this nature is fated to contain.

  137. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#136):

    It’s like trying to read Chaucer or lolcat.

    I’m willing to wager that this particular pairing has rarely, if ever, appeared before.

  138. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando
    January 28th, 2010 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    I’d still read “The Miller’s Tail” if Jamus wrote it, regardless of formatting.

  139. Aviatrix
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#137): I paused in composing the comment to consider Chaucer written in lolcat, but I didn’t see it being any less decipherable than regular lolcat. I think The Canterbury Tales starts with APRILLE HAZ A WET.

  140. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando (#138): “The Miller’s Tale” is pretty racy stuff without any Jamusification–all that “nether parts” business. There are no cats in The Canterbury Tales, as far as I can recall (and Angry Kem can certainly correct me!), but plenty of sex and violence—and a Prioress with a damned gruesome imagination.

    If he were writing today, I think Chaucer would be producing an NSFW web comic.

  141. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#139): Hee! But now, replacing one of my favorite opening lines in literature, I have in my head, “Whan that Aprille can haz cheezburger….”

  142. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    Chanticleer was a furry tale, just sayin’. . . .

  143. Perky Bird
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#86): As usual, you are wonderful, bats :[ ! I am so glad I lack Photoshop skills, or I’d never get any work done!

  144. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

  145. Jamus The Bartender
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Wow. Chaucer. I’ve got me an ideer….:)

  146. Aviatrix
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando (#138): Oh I read his stories. It’s posts like #116 that I find difficult to wade through. It looks like a story, but turns out to be a strip-by-strip comment, yet lacking enough delineation to make it easy for me to read. It slows me down enough that I just skip to the next comment.

  147. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#144): puts the “cock” in cock-a-doodle-doo, yes it does!

  148. Jamus The Bartender
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    @Aviatrix (#146): So noted. I’ll work on that.

  149. Perky Bird
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#123): I have long wanted to visit the Attwater Prairie Chicken National Wildlife Refuge and see the prairie chickens’ mating dance. But I never seem to get back home to Texas during breeding season. So I doubt I will ever get to add this majestic, endangered bird to my life list.
    My question is, based on the striking similarities, can I just add Sam Driver to my life list, instead?

  150. Miss Othmar
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#113):

    I should point out that if this mission by the Legion of Punctuation Avengers happens in conjunction (haha, conjunction, get it?) with a possible Mid-Atlantic ‘Mudgeon Meet-Up, many of y’all could be there too, bailing us out helping us dispense justice.

    I have been out of pocket this week (first week of a new job) but I am in Virginia as well, so a Mid-Atlantic meetup would be fine with me! I have been a college professor as well as a journal editor, so I can proofread with the best of them — and I think that’s just what we’re dealing with!

  151. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    relevant to the thread.

  152. Poteet
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#124): Checking MW, I see your point. Arrgh, now I’m trying to unsee it.

  153. Poteet
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    @Red Greenback (#126): My computer tells me I’m “FORBIDDEN” to see that link, but now my imagination can go wild:-).

  154. zerowolf
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    FC: Robin Hood has better odds of being Little Red Riding Hood’s father than Wilbur has of being Kurt’s.

  155. zerowolf
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: No, Brooke, slaves are not let out to enjoy sun and fresh air.

  156. Poteet
    January 28th, 2010 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#132): I’ll try. Actually, the weird way his head is coming out of his neck now reminds me of No-Face in SPIRITED AWAY.

  157. zerowolf
    January 28th, 2010 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Blaze are you serious? Do you think Margo is going to let me have the time to do that. She’s probably at home now, furious I haven’t made her dinner, ironed her clothes, and have her favorite drink ready. And you know how hard it is to find fresh virgin blood in New York at this time of night!

  158. queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando
    January 28th, 2010 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#156): I *so* need to rent that movie again soon.

  159. Poteet
    January 28th, 2010 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#149): I am so enchanted by your idea that I am unable to provide an objective response. If you try it, be sure to use today’s strip as your documentation.

  160. Poteet
    January 28th, 2010 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando (#158): Me too. Not that I didn’t watch it several times when I rented it before.

  161. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    January 28th, 2010 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#150): Excellent–we might be able to achieve critical meet-up mass here.

  162. ElkMeadow
    January 28th, 2010 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    I like how these “back to” links work. It’s made looking back at references sooo much easiler.

    @queek, Source of Cuteness, Kwaii Commando (#158):

    Now I have to go watch “Spirited Away” again (the only thing that matches it for beauty is “Hellboy II’s troll market), and, oh, yeah, Free Cue NOW! and death to T.J.

  163. wanderfarer
    January 29th, 2010 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#137):

    I am coming out of a long, long lurkerdom to say: Au contraire!

  164. Grant
    January 29th, 2010 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    I totally do medical research on wikipedia. Right now I suspect that I have leukemia. Like, more than I probably should.

  165. Farley's Revenge
    January 29th, 2010 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    So if there’s a MA ‘Mudge Meet-Up, will we read an article the next day reporting that a group of pencil-skirted people wobbled their way through the nation’s capital, poking people with very sharp red pencils and correcting their grammar? Will we also read that the same group of people were arrested and taken in for booking, whereupon they promptly set to correcting the grammar of the booking officers AND taking their deadly red pencils to the booking forms?

    If we don’t read these things, well, why the hell not?

    (You could probably add Angry Kem to your superhero group. Her specialty could be dealing with those who wantonly fling about commas.)

  166. Kaleidic
    January 29th, 2010 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    What was the comic strip that had a young boy who liked to hang out at a comic book store reading a comic book named Femme Fatale [I think]? He had a teen-age sister who would give him money to go away when she had a date over. Her boyfriend was the clerk at the comic book store.

  167. Mr. E.Z. Mark
    January 29th, 2010 at 1:33 am [Reply]

    A plugger’s doc is even less pleased when his patient tries to pay the bill with a mason jar full of pennies, five tattered books of Blue Chip stamps, and a stale Dorito that looks a little like Jesus.

  168. Poteet
    January 29th, 2010 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    1/29

    A3G — Any bets on whether we’ll ever actually see a piano?

    FC — So sometimes Billy can manage that final “g” and sometimes not. Huh.

    MW — Wilbur, your kindred spirit is a con artist or an idiot. Take your pick.

    PHANTOM — Yeah, Stripey-Butt, why are you dressed like that? I’m looking forward to this explanation.

    RMMD — “If Brook doesn’t pay Mommy back tomorrow, Brook and Mommy are going to be on JUDGE JUDY, and Mommy is going to kick Brook’s legal ass.”

    SF — Okay, now I really do seriously dislike Sister Irresponsible Idiot.

    S-M — Spidey, that’s called a “broad hint.” Maybe MJ wants to spend a few nights alone in bed, without the fear of being clonked by your mighty elbow.

  169. Poteet
    January 29th, 2010 at 1:48 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#131): I vote for inner peace, because if this strip shows his Kung Fu posture, I don’t think I could stand seeing him fight — the hiccups would be too severe.

  170. Baka Gaijin
    January 29th, 2010 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#99): Oh arrrrrrr! Get I a pasty!

  171. Ed Dravecky
    January 29th, 2010 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#76): The other reason young Billy Batson was “far different” than Captain America was that by saying the magic word “SHAZAM!” he was transformed into Captain Marvel.

  172. Jason1981
    January 29th, 2010 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    1/29

    S-M: Well, MJ, considering how f*cking USELESS your husband is for a “superhero”, I’d say New York will be much better off without him.

    Besides, we all know it’ll turn in a Power Ranger -like situtation, where the villian will conveniently attack whever the hero is. (except for the fact that Spidey sucks at being a hero)

    reFOOB: “You lucky dog….you get to whine and b*tch just as much as my mom! Get it….’dog’ …’b*tch’? Get it? It’s a pun!”

    Luann: I’m sure none of us saw any of THAT coming (sarcasm)

    RMMD: “I think that’s terrible, don’t you? It’ll make her easier to chain to a log..er, wait, wrong comic stip….”

  173. Jason1981
    January 29th, 2010 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    S-M (oops, I meant the villian will attack WHEREVER the hero is. …Damn, I need to check my posts more before clicking “POST” )

  174. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2010 at 2:27 am [Reply]

    @wanderfarer (#163): I haz a plesaunce! It’s like Rule 34 for things that aren’t porn.

  175. Aviatrix
    January 29th, 2010 at 2:30 am [Reply]

    @Grant (#164): You could go into a walk-in clinic and ask for a bone marrow transplant. Or leeches.

  176. Mordock999
    January 29th, 2010 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann 01/29/10

    Mr. Fogarty!
    You’re casting Luann as ‘Maria’ and Quill as ‘Tony’ for Westside Story?!?

    Well, BLOW me down!
    Holy Sh*t!
    What are the odds!?
    Dammmmmmmn!
    Whatta SHOCKER!
    Never saw THAT one comin’!

    (Did I MISS one? Oh, yeah.)

    Good Googly Moogly!

    __________________
    DEATH to TJ!!!

  177. Uncle Lumpy
    January 29th, 2010 at 3:12 am [Reply]

    @Grant (#164):

    Right now I suspect that I have leukemia. Like, more than I probably should.

    Wait — how much leukemia is one supposed to have?

    It’s so hard to keep up these days.

  178. Mr. O'Malley
    January 29th, 2010 at 3:19 am [Reply]

    MW: I called that on Tuesday. He’s talking about the old school test, not anything as newfangled and reliable as a DNA test.

    Pluggers: So I guess cell phones are officially obsolete now? Are we supposed to upgrade to iPads now? Here’s where Pluggers would have an advantage; they’d be the only ones with pockets big enough, if only they used new technology.

  179. steve
    January 29th, 2010 at 3:39 am [Reply]

    Only three words gonna get you out of this one, Walker: I am gay. Or on my way to a costume party. Of gay people.

  180. seismic-2
    January 29th, 2010 at 4:19 am [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#149):

    But I never seem to get back home to Texas during breeding season.

    The weekend of the UT vs. A&M football game is when Texans return home to spawn, isn’t it?

    @Kaleidic (#166): The strip about a boy who is a fan of the “Femme Fatale” comic book is Big Nate. One of the strip’s themes is that Nate is himself an aspiring cartoonist, and he draws a comic strip called “Dr. Cesspool”. That aspect of the strip is not stressed so much currently as it used to be, however.

    A Mid-Atlantic Mudge-up sounds good, but it would require the presence of the man himself, so would it be better to hold such an event in DC or in Baltimore? One reason for having it in DC, of course, is that we could storm the offices of the Post with torches and pitchforks, making known our unhappiness at WaPo’s constant maltreatment of the funnies.

  181. Hobbes Fan
    January 29th, 2010 at 4:38 am [Reply]

    “Did you have fun out there coaching, Steve?”
    “Oh yeah, Coach Thorp! A lot of fun!”
    “That’s great. How would you like to do it every day?”
    “YEAH! That would be gr–uh, wait, wait a minute.”
    “Yeah?”
    “Do I still get to be the janitor?”
    “Uh, sure!”
    “Okay, it’s a deal! Well, I’m going to go clean the bathroom.”

  182. Lucky
    January 29th, 2010 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    B.C. – Rabbit tracks don’t work that way!

    Beetle Bailey – Apparently hippies, free love, peace protests, rioting in the street, Tet Offensive, black power salutes, assassinations everywhere, Zodiac Killer, Prague Spring and the looming Nixon presidency scared Sarge so badly that he decided to lock himself in Camp Swampy for good.

    Pluggers – My parents are Pluggers. I hope it’s not hereditary.

    Prickly City – When did we go from iPad to killer robots again?

    Zits – Jeremy & Walt’s Laugh-In.

  183. Just some guy
    January 29th, 2010 at 7:14 am [Reply]

    The average Plugger doesn’t know what Beriberi is, and either has to look it up in an encylopedia, a dictionary from 1974, or have one of their grandkids use the Google on it.

  184. mojo
    January 29th, 2010 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    1/29 MW: Wilbur asks Kurt for a paternity test. Kurt responds, “I don’t believe in their accuracy.” Yes! A viewpoint Kurt no doubt acquired through his many, many hours spent researching the topic! Finally I have found a kindred spirit, who likewise delights in railing against that obnoxious, know-it-all, nerdy scientific community! Because it turns out *I* don’t “believe” in GRAVITY, Kurt! Lookit me! I can FLY!

  185. John C Fremont
    January 29th, 2010 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#170): Oh, great. Now I fancy a pasty.

    Mmm. Pasty. (Insert Homer Simpson drooly-noise here.)

    FC – Family Circus almost made me laugh today. Well, chuckle. Silently. Okay, I recognized it as “humor,” as opposed to its usual brand of “home-spun-yet-moronic crap.” So, um, yeah.
    Yeah, that’s about it.

  186. Bryan
    January 29th, 2010 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: Good idea, leaving the teen-queen con artist in your house alone. Apparently it takes two adults and a child to go get the dog.

  187. Vince M
    January 29th, 2010 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    @Hobbes Fan (#181): I love a good movie reference!

  188. CanuckDownSouth
    January 29th, 2010 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Bad enough that Luann regularly insults us with squicky teen innuendo and passive-aggressive NiceGuy(TM)-”I don’t have to be attractive or a good match for somebody – because I’m *Nice*”-ism, now we’re given FOOBian lack of continuity? It was just *this* week that Tiffany said she’d be Maria. Tiffany knows who the lead is! Read your own script, Evans!

  189. Muffaroo
    January 29th, 2010 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    9CLThe prisoners love her. Not as well as they would like to, but the camp only has an upright piano.

    [Jinx, Poteet?]

    Crankshaft – The concerned expression on the face of the actress playing Crankshaft’s daughter clearly says, “(That’s a punch line?)”

    Luann – Since there seem to be seven people in the entire universe, it’s clear that this is either a variant on “Gilligan’s Island” and the dream sequences where every part is played by a series regular, or perhaps it’s a post-apocalyptic wasteland kept functioning by Luann’s terrifying mind powers. This would account for her inexplicable status as obscure object of desire. Tiffany is clearly the dummy who doesn’t get it. Her lack of intelligence has spared her so far, but from the look on Luann’s face in the last panel, she’s going to be pushing up cornstalks in a second.

  190. Mela
    January 29th, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Friday funnies:

    Baldo: Then it’s probably a sex toy.

    GA: Ah, there’s the infuriorating plug. You DO realize you’re being more alienating & obnoxious than supportive & rallying, right?

    Luann: Remember, kids, plot twists are for OTHER strips. The ones that don’t get published because people might actually, y’know, like them.

    Pluggers: Oh, Christ, my parents are Pluggers! But at least they don’t do this at Sam’s.

  191. Muffaroo
    January 29th, 2010 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Mary – Kurt’s real concern here is that the doctors might catch on that “he” is really a girl with short hair and no figure, wearing coffee grounds on “his” face. It’s a complicated story. Look for Kurt to say, “But none of my other dads ever wanted a paternity test!”

    MuttsLet’s just hope they don’t run into Rose Gumbo.

    6 – “Okay, okay, I was wrong. Just give me the damn bong already!

    Spidey – Here’s the difference between Pete and us. When he’s with a hot chick in underwear, he yawns and casually raises his arm. Then he just leaves it up a while, eventually forgetting it’s there. Well, to be fair, maybe it’s because MJ has learned the art of preventive nose-picking to put him off, and he’s giving her an armpit view to get even.

    @Lucky (#182): Maybe we went from iPads to killer robots by way of the “Trapper Keeper” story from South Park. It makes as much sense as anything in the strip.

  192. wossname
    January 29th, 2010 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    @Master Softheart (#130): COTW nominee!

  193. Hogan
    January 29th, 2010 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    most beriberi cases occur in alcoholics whose drink-ravaged bodies can no longer properly absorb Vitamin B1.

    Oh, so I have THAT to look forward to. That’s just SUPER. Where the hell’s the bourbon?

  194. TheDiva
    January 29th, 2010 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: You know, when even the characters in the strip don’t think the joke makes sense…

    FW: When exactly did this strip start hating teenagers? Was it the second time bump or did Batiuk have the “get offa my lawn” mentality before that?

    Luann: I think I’m gonna have a heart attack and die of that surprise.[/Iago]

    I like Quill, annoying Aussie stereotyping notwithstanding. He’s shown to be genuinely affable and a good singer, and unlike Luann’s other potential love interests does not create an impression that she should be putting out a restraining order. Which, of course, means Evans is bound to pull a Johnston and turn him into a jerk just so he can force the OTP of Luann and “Nice Guy” Gunther down our unwilling throats.

    MW: Ah, I was wondering when Kurt’s Obviously Suspicious Behavior would surface and duly be glossed over.

  195. wossname
    January 29th, 2010 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#185): I am chagrined to admit that I spent several days last summer in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, North American ground zero for pasties, and did not manage to have a pasty. (Yes, I know Cornwall is the original ground zero.)

    (Pasties, the meat pies, are not to be confused with Pastis, or those things strippers put on their nipples — but I didn’t have either of those, either.)

  196. One-eyed Wolfdog
    January 29th, 2010 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @Muffaroo (#191): Your links to color comics just serve up a referrer fail to anyone who doesn’t already have the images cached (which is why they presumably work OK for you).

  197. Howland Awl
    January 29th, 2010 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#149): There are a few leks remaining here in Colorado–trying to remember which slowly disintegrating plains town sponsors the Prairie Chicken Fest. I think Wray? In any case, I’m going to try and get there this year.

    Perhaps I can even convince the wife to take in some Sandhill Cranery in beautiful Monte Vista…

  198. Ed Dravecky
    January 29th, 2010 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    @Hobbes Fan (#181): Great, now in my head Steve Luhm will sound like Stanley Spadowski.

    “You get to drink from the firehose!”

  199. One-eyed Wolfdog
    January 29th, 2010 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    BB: How the fuck do you even draw this without an enormous wad of gummy black irony clogging your pen?

  200. Comcis Fan
    January 29th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    FW: Becky, Summer, Mopey Pete and that next-generation Les kid seem to be morphing into the same person.

  201. One-eyed Wolfdog
    January 29th, 2010 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    GT: “NO! I mean… I like mops. Please don’t interfere in a relationship you couldn’t understand.”

  202. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2010 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: I’ve done this in the Big Store and my wife was on the next aisle. I’ve also called and she says “Look up and glance down the aisle.” (She’s too nice to add “stupid idiot”). And there she is on the far side of the same aisle.
    It’s then that I realize I’m having a Pastis moment.

  203. Ned Ryerson
    January 29th, 2010 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    C,mon Judge Parker, bring on Jules Edgemont, young, talented shoe designer, live-in lovah. Enough Rocky and Godiva (and Sultan and cheerleader tryout media events and solar panels and punched-out paparazzi). Shit or get off the pot!

    Wait, Ned’s flat?

  204. Écureuil Écumant
    January 29th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @96 Mibbitmaker said:

    BBlues:
    The Tadpoles
    2010 – 2010
    ~~R.I.P~~

    *snif* Yeah… and just when they’d started to grow… er… arms.

  205. Santa Royale Is For Lovers
    January 29th, 2010 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Jeez, even the Plugger doctor is morbidly obese. This guy is probably giving lectures to his patients about the health benefits of bacon.

  206. One-eyed Wolfdog
    January 29th, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    Zits: Last panel is funny. Perfect expressions.

  207. Poteet
    January 29th, 2010 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @Muffaroo (#189): Migawd, you’re right! This is an actual playing-out of my fantasy years ago about how the only way I’d ever get cast in a musical would be if the world were a post-apocalyptic wasteland or if I lived in a certain small Iowa town that shall remain unmentioned. Now I can add “if I lived in the Luanniverse.” Because in an alternative reality where Luann can suddenly and amazingly discover she has a good voice and can play Maria, I think maybe I could play Bloody Mary. Har.

    Now I want to know if we’ll ever see the rest of the cast, or if Evans will stick to his Gilligan’s Island approach.

  208. Sequitur
    January 29th, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    I swear, when I read Bizarro early this morning in my “not quite awake yet” stupor, I thought the word “fainting” was “farting” and I think, “Huh?!”
    It was then that I realized I was having a Pastis moment.

  209. gnome de blog
    January 29th, 2010 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    Rocky’s probably calling to say he admires the view up Abbey’s skirt all the way from the guest cabin, and he’s offering to swap Godiva for her. He’ll even throw in the horse he just bought.

  210. mustang
    January 29th, 2010 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

    It appears from his fat paws, fluffy ears and world weary expression that Plugger’s doctor is ALSO a Plugger? It should say “Plugger doctors don’t believe in the internet. The set of medical books they got in college has everything they need to treat Pluggers.”

  211. DavidMac
    January 31st, 2010 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#153):

    Mine, too, forbade me to view the link. Darn.

  212. Willy
    February 1st, 2010 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    “enraged chicken of paternal vengeance” yields 2 hits on teh great Gazoogle. Now three hits with this comment. Awesome phrase, worthy of a t-shirt.

Comments are closed for this post.