The Comics Curmudgeon

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Wednesday quickies

B.C., 2/3/10

Whoah, post-Johnny Hart B.C. is dangerously flirting with relevance, using as a cultural touchstone an actor whose career popularity peaked a mere 15 to 20 years ago! Perhaps — and this is just a suggestion — this joke shouldn’t have paired overacting with the name of a man who’s mostly known for squinting at the camera in an expression that might be described as either stoic or confused, depending on how charitable you’re being.

Momma, 2/3/10

It’s kind of disappointing that the first Momma to acknowledge that the title character is in fact 11 inches tall is also the one where her son leaves her outside in the snow to freeze to death.

Luann, 2/3/10

I’m pretty sure this is the opening scene of a film used as aversion therapy for porn addicts.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 3, 2010 at 04:05 pm and is filed under B.C., Luann, Momma. |

184 responses to “Wednesday quickies”

Metz77
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

What, you don’t want Momma to freeze to death?
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#y24): No links? Where’s AlohaBoy when you need him?
The Big Swerve
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

BC: Shoulda gone with Shatner.
Oavis
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

Wow, you can really hear the bucka-wow basslines in that Luann comic. There was a major scandal last year in my city involving just such behaviour.
Weaselboy
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

I can’t see myself flirting with someone who looks like Meg Ryan, post-plastic surgery.
OTL
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

Anything that ends in Momma dying (particularly a not-quick death), by definition, cannot be disappointing.
Poteet
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

LUANN — My first reaction was outrage as a taxpayer.
Nekrotzar
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

Oh, Mrs. DeGroot, you brought Brad some milk and cookies for a snack here at the station. How thoughtful of you.
Daveh
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

For a minute there, I thought Toni had joined the Salvation Army.
Sheila Sternwell
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

Nausea, chills, loss of appetite? That’s how you know you’re reading Luann.
Poteet
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

FW — Oboy, a special PTSD Road Rage storyline to celebrate Valentine’s Day! Batiuk, you shouldn’t have.

DtM — I like those nervous “she’s gonna blow!” sideways looks.

GET FUZZY — Couldn’t we have gone along to see Satchel buy the ticket, just to get out of the damn apartment for a day? I do like well-written plays that take the audience through a complete satisfying theatrical experience without ever changing the set. But GF is not, repeat not, such an experience.
TruthOfAngels
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

I have oft reflected that Brad and Toni are an unnatural embryo-splitting project gone wrong, as they only have one pair of lips and one mouth between them. Such hubris will always result in technical incest and really crappy comic strips, as the Good Book tells us.
Cranky
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

I’m greatly concerned that Evans has a “Brad and Toni caught f–king in the lounge” storyline in mind. By “concerned” I mean concerned for my lunch, which I ate a couple of hours ago.
Hibbleton
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

I can’t decide who has worse drawn hair: Toni or that marshmallow do’d chick from BC. Brad’s head doesn’t look like anything human so his doesn’t count.
TheDiva
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

And yet, Brad and Toni’s on-the-job indiscretions still aren’t as squicky as Gunther’s ~~stalking~~ unrequited crush.
CanuckDownSouth
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

Apologies if this has been done-to-death in yesterthread, but:

1. Recycled Art Alert in Phantom

2. The comics are just chock full of family values, aren’t they?

Stripeybutt abandons his kids to foster care when he thinks his wife’s dead instead of, oh working through his despondency by comforting his *kids*, who might *need* their other parent because *they* hurt, too – and incidentally getting out of *his* head, which *might* *help*.

Wilbur Weston runs off with maybe-son fishing and lets him crash at their place – ignoring his daughter’s concerns. Yeah, she’s an adult, but if he’s your son, he’s her brother. The truth her affects her, too – yet she’s just a spectator as far as her dad is concerned.

And let’s not get into reFOOB’s reprint of Connie in Montreal. She’s been even more insane about her pursuit of Phil (instead of a silly crush, now this is after 2 visits and letters which never developed their relationship beyond having fun when he happened to be in Milborough). Not leaving to drive home to Lawrence is awful. She had no family commitments this time around (not that it doesn’t take enormous feats of off-panel logic to make *that* add up to any reason to delay returning!). The only way this arc could have *improved* Connie would have been to make it too late to drive back when Connie got the call, and so she went to the jazz club knowing she’s be returning in the morning.

I especially hate the 1-panel “the kids are OK” drops where the Walker twins talk about how daddy needs to be away, and it’s OK, or Lawrence is all happy until he’s on the phone and there’s an attitude of “he doesn’t really need his mom”. Kids are not automatically OK just because it’s convenient for their parents!
ElkMeadow
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

MW-Oh, gads, it’s gonna turn out that Martin Clark is a multibiilonaire who’s been looking for the long lost son that he only caught a glimpse of, who’s parents paid off the town girl Abby when she got preggers, and now Kurt is find his biological father and a fortune, but Wilbur will always be his “dad”. And Dawn will always be the ~~housekeeper. thing in the purple outfit~~ whatever.
BigTed
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

I think we finally learned the mind-bending truth of “B.C.” — it doesn’t take place in prehistoric times at all, but in the postapocalyptic future of Kevin Costner’s epic flop The Postman. Twist!
Jesse C
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

LOL Josh this is one of the funniest posts in a while.
Muffaroo
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

@PeteMoss (#y20): Of course Mark isn’t “Bob.” Mark doesn’t smoke a pipe. Sure, he used to, but see how easily he gave it up? Even I know that the blessed Frop pipe is way too important to “Bob” to drop it for so little reason as acceptability to some cruddy newspaper readers.

@BigTed (#18): That’s been around a while. I myself have been flogging a theory that it takes place in present-day Broward County, Florida. (“BC”)
Crankenstank
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

My first reaction at looking at BC today was: Thor has hunted, and killed, Kermit the Frog, just to impress the ladies?
Poteet
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

@CanuckDownSouth (#16): Yep, some of these strips make me feel like a fantastic parent in comparison. And I don’t even have kids.
Écureuil Écumant
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

MT: How is it that Mary the waitress is the bearer of foreshadowing in today’s strip? “Whatever happens, Senator, you are always welcome!” Has she been eavesdropping all during lunch, or is she prognosticating his upcoming catastropic MI based on his triple-cheeseburger meal? Or perhaps she realizes Mark will throttle the Senator for his careless use of a contraction in panel 3. In any event, shouldn’t her name be Sibyl?

Also, does anyone know how to submit items to [Citation Needed]? I can’t find anyplace to click on their page. Bah, I’ll do it here.

“Bubo: A bubo (Greek boubôn, “groin”) (plural form: buboes) is swelling of the lymph nodes. It is found in infections such as bubonic plague, gonorrhea, tuberculosis or syphilis. It is similar in appearance to a huge blister, and usually appears under the armpit, in the groin or on the neck. According to historical records, buboes were characteristic of the pandemic responsible for the Black Death and perhaps other ancient pandemics. At the time of such pandemics, it was commonly believed by doctors that buboes should be burst; hen feathers were reportedly used for such a purpose. [citation needed]
bats :[
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

Wow, the intense excitement and passion from that Mark Trail panel (dang, it’s older than I am! which is sort of comforting)!! I don’t think emotions have run that high in quite a while…
Poteet
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

DT — Dick is completely enveloped in utter weirdness, but the only weirdness he actually notices is that the plant hasn’t been watered for a week. And in an embassy! Tsk.
Écureuil Écumant
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

@Oavis (#4):

I think it goes with the job. We had a similar incident in our burg too. Something about firemen needing to practice unreeling their hoses, I suppose.
bats :[
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

17. ElkMeadow: unlike the oh-so-pedestrian “honey” or “princess” or “baby-girl,” I think “thing in a purple outfit” is Wilbur’s pet name for Dawn.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

13 cranky

I’m greatly concerned that Evans has a “Brad and Toni caught f–king in the lounge” storyline in mind. By “concerned” I mean concerned for my lunch, which I ate a couple of hours ago.

Let me put your mind at rest. I think they plan to, but they’re both big fans of 9 Chickweed Lane. When they learn that the lounge doesn’t have a Bosendorfer, they’ll be unable to go through with it.
SF_Reader
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

11 inches? How’d those kids come out of her ‘gina?
blammers66
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

Wankerbean: Does the local community college in Batuikville have a bell tower? Because I’m thinking that Friday’s strip is heading that way …
brooklyn_codger
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

I thought the dino’s name was Costner :(
Makya
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

Hadn’t seen Mama in quite awhile and I assumed she was, in fact, already deceased. The big grin on her oft-maligned offspring was due to the fact that this was a monologue delivered over Mama’s grave. Then I envisioned her soft voice from the hereafter…I can’t find my way home….she’s stuck in some sort of purgatory, unable to reap her final reward as she can not let go of her passive-aggressive control issues with the living. But that’s probably just me.
The Modesto Kid
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

What is B.C. leaning on, dammit?
The Modesto Kid
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

@The Modesto Kid (#33): I mean Thor, not BC.
tb4000
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

Luann: I pray to God they power wash the tables after Brad and Toni have had their little visit. Because you know, Brad is such a messy eater.

BC: What, the estate of Erik Estrada didn’t allow his name to be used?
mr 12 oz can
February 3rd, 2010 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

mary worth_ wow dawn got so mad she threw the lamp across the room wilbers chair too
mark trail – i have no idea whats going on with this storyline since andys not in it but that chick mary looks like will ferral in drag
gil thorp = dont all girls drop there draws for free pizza
Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

Erik Estrada is dead? But he’s only 60ish.
Even the trees look crappy in “Momma” and they’re easy to draw.
Galuaboy
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

Luann: Wow, what a great idea! Next time I need to take something over to my boss and she’s not there, I think I’ll just go sit in the lounge until she comes back. They’re certainly not expecting me to work on another project until this one is completed, right? I don’t get paid extra for multi-tasking.
Violet
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

There’s a rather interesting comics crossover going on today: in A3-G when Bobbie groans, “My head aches and my eyes burn, but I can’t quit now!” she’s not referring to stalking her husband; she’s talking about reading Luann. We are right there with you, Bobbie.

P.S. We are also holding a grudge.
Steve G.
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

Unfortunately, while Luann might help the porn addicts, it would no doubt drive them toward heroin. What the hell does Toni even work as? A stewardess slash Catholic school girl slash courier? And how can Pearls Before Swine not say “hell” while Toni is threatening to blow a guy for an hour?
tb4000
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

@Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here (#37):

Yeah I know. It was just me being funny. Or trying to be. I don’t know.
Joe Blevins
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

LUANN: What, uh… geez, there’s no delicate way to put this… what precisely is going on with Toni’s… erm, bustline? Sorry I had to resort to such crudeness, but panels 1 and 2 of this comic leave me no option. The leftie seems to have vanished entirely, and the rightie is making a break for it. Maybe this is how Toni is always drawn, and it’s just the angle of the necktie that’s drawing attention to her deformity. Please, Luann-drawing-person, please try not to have Toni in a necktie too often.

B.C.: Despite its wildly anachronistic reference to Mr. Kevin Costner, this strip does manage to capture one important step in man’s evolution: the invention of the glory hole.
Crankshafts Funky Smelling Corpse
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

FW: Whoo Hoo! Unhinged crazy vet violence!

I wonder how many rounds he’ll get off before he’s put down by the cops.
zerowolf
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

Luann: Porn has better acting.
zerowolf
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

@Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here (#37): Eric Estrada is alive. His career on the other hand….
Master Softheart
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

Like rain falling on the gray of a dark urban afternoon, today’s comics bring us a freshness that gently breaks us out of our daily lives.

9CL: There were many people who accepted the moral equivalency of Nazi Germany and the western democracies, especially prior to the outbreak of war in the 1930’s. They were generally either superficial, cynical, and poorly informed people who the Nazis specifically targeted as dupes whose confusion could benefit them by weakening resistance to Nazi conquest, or they were people who accepted the Soviet propaganda line that fascism is a developmental phase of bourgeois capitalism and that both are dangerous but short-lived phases of the Marxist historical process.

I suppose that it is artistically bold to portray a character of the former type, and showing that one of your comic’s main characters was a morally distasteful, vapid youth who allowed herself to be (nearly?) led by her hypersensitive clitoris to betray her country to the Nazis definitely does address the often-voiced criticism that 9CL only shows Burber women to be morally pure and existentially superior to everyone else. Not the way I would have chosen to address that criticism, but still, full points for boldness.

If only the American intelligence officer were better in the sack, perhaps Ms. Ernst wouldn’t have betrayed her country to the oily representative of a deranged, genocidal pack of political nihilists disguised as a government.

Luann: Given that the alternative is to follow the love life of the comic’s titular character – who offers much more dysfunctional relationship creepiness wrapped in an underage package – I for one am happy to read the romantic comedy stylings of the zero-budget Grant and Hepburn.

Phantom: Speaking of daring to portray your main characters in a negative light, bravo to Team Falk for allowing the Phantom to be emotionally selfish in response to his wife’s death. But, of course, the real standout today is superheroine Rebound Woman: out of the Captain Nemo suit and into the Sari of Seduction – Captain Savarna is ready for anything.

JP: Ah, old-fashioned Sam, who has a vague but powerful sense that he should have the patriarchal right to control the sexual availability of the women in his household, but is really too apathetic after his exhausting chicken dance to put up much resistance to the rising tide of feminism.

And it doesn’t matter what you do, Baretto, I am not going to lust after Sophie. Until Neddy arrives and the footwear-fetishism starts, let’s just cut back to the widow DeVito.

FW: So, judging by panel 3 he’s either having a PTSD flashback or he’s turning into the Hulk. Either way, the tragedy that inevitably follows will feature more action and dramatic interest than the blank waiting for death that occupies most characters in the strip, so I welcome whatever comes!

Thank you, Tom Batiuk, for reminding us that violent, self-destructive rage prompted by mental illness and despair offers more narrative interest than quiet desperation and smirky nihilism. That’s a lesson that needs to appear more in the comics.

Garfield: Rocking the wry existential questioning, Garfield. Not quite as psychotically amusing as Medium Large taking on the implications of the magic hat in Frosty the Snowman, but well done.

Peanuts: Reloaded: A decades-old strip about children offers the best political comic of the week. Sure Schultz was probably thinking about that wacky Agricultural Adjustment Act and its insane system of subsidies, but the humor is timeless.

BC: For a punchline cribbed from an old Warner Brothers cartoon focusing on Elmer Fudd, it was pretty funny.

MT: I can’t express how disappointed I am at the revelation of self-plagiarism from 1979 in Mark Trail. I’m taking a hiatus from this strip.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

Phantom: Savarna’s sari is, traditionally, a color reserved for mourning and grief. Perhaps she is grieving for this plotline.
zerowolf
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

RMMD: Will Margo and Mrs. DeGroot be joining the Stone Cold Bitch Coffee Klatch?
DaveyK
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

Geez, the opposite of “real stuffed dinosaur head” is hardly “a live dinosaur sticking his head through the wall.”

I’d really hate to see how badly the current B.C. Authors scored on the analogy section of their SATs!
Spunde
February 3rd, 2010 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

Luann: the example given for the second definition of “gag strip.”
Patrick
February 3rd, 2010 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

Judging by the lumps in the snow in today’s Momma, Francis is standing over the slowly-freezing bodies of several dwarfish neighbors.
bman
February 3rd, 2010 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

Momma: What puzzles me is how she managed to get completely buried in snow in the first place. My guess is that after her prescription pill binge yesterday she ended up sleeping in the driveway.

Luann: As aversion therapy, this film would no doubt be so effective that it creates additional, unintended fears, as in A Clockwork Orange. They will retch at the sight of lounges, firefighters, and paper.
Red Greenback
February 3rd, 2010 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

B.C.: Didn’t she notice the huge ass-end of a dinosaur stuck in the cave wall before she walked in the door? I dunno, looks pretty much like the cartoonist hastily puked something out so he wouldn’t be late for tee time to me.
gleeb
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

Baldo: Sigh. They just want to make sure you stay in them, kid.

Dick: Sure, something’s weird, Tracy. It’s been months since you killed. Take out an usher; it’ll make you feel better.

‘bean: OK, maybe not Charles Whitman. More of a Targets vibe today.

Zippy: Has Zippy become insanely wordy recently? I mean, even more so than usual?
trey le parc
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

Luann: In the final panel Brad strikes a Mr. Clean-esque pose that suggests this storyline is going to end with the Captain discovering Brad at Toni’s apartment, on his hands and knees, scrubbing out her toilet, Toni nowhere to be found, and Brad employing Shannon as the toilet brush. And if THAT happens, Greg Evans will have finally redeemed himself. Partially. It’s a pretty crappy strip, after all.
Buck Ripsnort
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#15): Agreed. Human/(development-challenged) human is still better than human / pop-eyed, emotionally-needy troll.
Buck Ripsnort
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

Momma: I would assume Francis buried her in the snow himself, but that would be too much like, y’know, work. She probably buried herself, just to make the kids feel guilty, although it’s having the opposite effect on me.
trey le parc
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

FW: This strip is the comics equivalent of February: Grim, cheerless, devoid of value, something to be endured and cursed upon completion.
Buck Ripsnort
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

MW: Wilbur’s “He-Man of Granite” pose is more comical AND more depressing than anything that’s been in FW for the past few years.
Mr. O'Malley
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:30 pm [Reply]

The funny thing is, I bet there would be a market for a comic strip that featured plots tackling serious environmental issues, with Sunday strips of interesting nature facts. It would appeal to the same crowd that watch Nature*. However, I think that the syndicates perceive continuity strips as skewing to an older readership, and are reluctant to take any on. I don’t remember any new ones for a long time. Some more recent strips like Foob, FW, Sally Forth, etc. feature a limited amount of plotline but also are supposed to deliver a daily gag. What is the most recently introduced straight continuity strip? Pibgorn is web-only, isn’t it?

*Old hippies for the most part, I suppose.
Écureuil Écumant
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

MW: Somehow, the mental image of Martin Clark as the mayonnaise in a Wilbur-Martin-Abby three-way sammich (as described by Wilbur in panel 3) makes me, well, never want to eat another sammich.
Brent
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

But squinting with an expression that might be described as either stoic or confused is exactly what the role of mounted trophy calls for! Costner is a natural for the part.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 3rd, 2010 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

MW: In my office hours today, I had a student who kept rubbing and grabbing his face as he talked. I was beginning to think that I was somehow in the academic version of MW, but then he suddenly asked me about my choice of footwear in class (“Why do you wear high heels?”), and I suddenly felt that I’d jumped from good ole stolid Mary Worth, where even the kinkiest possibilities could play out to a Rodgers and Hammerstein soundtrack, to some uncomfortable “academic foot fetishist” Rule 34 scenario.
mustang
February 3rd, 2010 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

SCIENCE LESSON: When they are intimate, Brad’s nose is flat, and Toni’s breast apparently sticks out the side of her chest so they could just sort of slide around on each other like planks of wood except for Tony’s lips which would be going blub blub blub like a scavenger fish cleaning up a tank.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 3rd, 2010 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#63): ok, scratch the earlier suggestion, how about two 18-year olds and one these?

although, tbh, two 19-year olds and this would also add up correctly.

(you wanted links, you got’em!) :-P
wagmore barkless
February 3rd, 2010 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

Technically, Kevin Costner’s career peaked 27 years ago, when he played the corpse in The Big Chill.
UncleJeff
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

@Écureuil Écumant (#26): I think the boys in the fire hall have been watching their “Rescue Me” DVDs too much. (Kind of like the real-life criminals caught on an FBI wiretap acting out their favorite “Sopranos” episodes)
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#65): Almost works for me—although anyone who’s the same age as my students is probably too young for me think anything except, “Eeewwwww.”

That reaction, of course, does not apply to the bourbon.
UncleJeff
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

@zerowolf (#48): They’d better get there before Lynn….er, Ellie snarfs down all the butter tarts!
Chaos
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

It’s kind of disappointing that the first Momma to acknowledge that the title character is in fact 11 inches tall is also the one where her son leaves her outside in the snow to freeze to death.

How do you mean, ‘disappointing’?
Jamus The Bartender
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

9CL/Gasoline Alley: Hey, maybe when Gram Burber gets all bedder, she can meet Skeezix Wallet at that WW2 museum dedication thing….wouldn’t that be neat?
zerowolf
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

@UncleJeff (#69): I never saw Ellie as a Stone Cold Bitch. Ellie is more like manic-depressive manipulative psychopath. Sort of like AG3’s Bobbie without the endearing drug addiction.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#68):

sorry, was trying to come up with a (Xboys* Yage) + Zbooze = 50 scenario that would be fun in theory and didn’t veer too far to the “squicky and illegal” on one side, or the “two fifths of *really* good booze and a fresh set of batteries” on the other. :-(

begs forgiveness.
Filmnoir101
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

BC – Costner is a terribly wooden actor. The joke seems to be that if he over-acts he would be an even more wooden actor. Thus he overplayed the corpse.

I laughed at this BC.
Poteet
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

ReFoob — While Connie’s behavior is incredibly annoying, I have trouble really blaming her because this time around, she’s being set up like a bowling pin. I blame Lynn. Retire! Retire! Retire!
Lisa
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

Re the dinosaur sticking its head through the hole, to me it looked like a Flintstones ripoff.
Lisa
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

She can’t retire until she makes back all the money her ex ran off with. This should mean, by my calculations, that the strip will last another 29 years, give or take.
Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

I so despise Momma – I can’t look at the strips. Even one without the evil monkey invisible in the strips. I’m surprised the three kids haven’t bumped the shrew off earlier.
Carrie ForthWorth
February 3rd, 2010 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

@Roger (YY#39): MW and Phantom – what an inspired dialogue swap! Wilbur is strangely less disturbing talking about weapons platforms than he is talking about his ex-girlfriend.
Poteet
February 3rd, 2010 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

RMMD — I still agree with Heather. What a mean, rotten person I must be.

PHANTOM — If Savarna is looking for an outfit that will display her charms to greatest advantage, I’d suggest that she keep on looking.
Johnny Knuckles
February 3rd, 2010 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

B.C. The last panel should’ve been Cro Lothario yelling after Cro Cleavage “So do your tits!”
Rusty
February 3rd, 2010 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

Baldo: Never show us a leering Baldo again, please. Skeeved me right out.
NoahSnark
February 3rd, 2010 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

If I were B.C., I would try to impress the girl with my mystical ability to move holes from one side of the cave to the other.
mollificent
February 4th, 2010 at 12:08 am [Reply]

Didn’t-get-to-read-the-comics-this-morning-Wednesday:

Non Sequitur: ROFLMAO!!! :D

OBH: Mad parenting skillz, right there.

Phantom: Aaaaaand…half-naked chick in the comics week continues. Bow chicka etc. etc.

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#63): OMG, super-squick!! Keep an eye on that one. Ewww.
Poteet
February 4th, 2010 at 12:21 am [Reply]

@Mr. O’Malley (#60): I’d read it.
Poteet
February 4th, 2010 at 12:22 am [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#63): Ooooh dear.
Beasley
February 4th, 2010 at 1:17 am [Reply]

I think you meant to say “pRon” addicts. Just saying.
Carly
February 4th, 2010 at 1:21 am [Reply]

I admit it, I laughed at B.C. today. The dino’s expression just sells it for me, even if it is a cheap laugh.
Anonymous
February 4th, 2010 at 1:25 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#7):

Mine too! Anyone else bothered by “not Luann”’s mouth?
yaoi huntress earth
February 4th, 2010 at 1:32 am [Reply]

@Master Softheart (#46): To tell you the truth, I never really saw the Burber women as “morally pure.” Though I started out after the unicorn saga, it seems like all three of them are very hateful, self-absorbed, vain and slutty women. Gran has never showed any niceness to anyone (even her own daughter) and enjoys staring hatefully at others even if it makes them cry, Juliette will dump her teaching duties to shag her husband and Edda finds great joy in seeing and even inflicting misery on other women who are in her way.

But then again, we’re supposed to see these women as creatures of pure art or beauty or whatever so their nasty behavior is supposed to be overlooked and accepted.
Poteet
February 4th, 2010 at 1:33 am [Reply]

12/4

A3G — Given the way things are going, I’m going to start my monthly greeting to Lu Ann again. Hello Lu Ann, wherever they’re confining you! Hope they gave you a couple of blankets!

FW — Leave it to this strip to make someone’s head fart.

JP — Sophie’s utterance may be the dirtiest line I’ve ever seen in this strip.

MT — Two tiny men in a tiny canoe paddle toward a giant beaver. Even Freud wouldn’t touch this one.

MW — Dawn, if you said “Could he be the one I’m thinking of?,” your question might make a little sense. But your version just sounds like a bad Seventies song.

PHANTOM — Raised on a freighter? That must have made for some interesting home-schooling.

RMMD — Send Brook to MW. They don’t know her either, but they won’t care.
True Fable
February 4th, 2010 at 1:42 am [Reply]

I will probably catch all sorts of hell for this but I don’t care: I like Kevin Costner and his movies. Maybe that’s not considered hip or cool or what have you, but that’s how I roll. Hey – I read Mary Fucking Worth. What do you want.

Snarkfest!

Kit Walker, Flashback Ranger! We’re about to jump into flashback mode but just as the story will get interesting, it will take a right turn into Pointless Dead-End Alley like usual.

Rex Morgan, DVD Gee, June; why would a girl who’s been kicked out of her home by her jerk parents possibilty want to stay with a wealthy doctor, his nurse practitioner wife & cousin, and the World’s Smartest Dog? Could it be for the money?? I mean that is just sooo unlikely! Even if she left on good terms with her parents, maybe her mother whispered in her ear, “Go visit cousin June, she’ll LOVE to have you stay!”

Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse! Tomorrow I want to see Godiva strolls in channelling the late great Madelin Kahn in Blazing Saddles: “I’m tired….” Oh, it’s Twoo! It’s TWOO!
Poteet
February 4th, 2010 at 1:53 am [Reply]

2/4 STONE SOUP — No need to apologize, Holly. The little kid you know best is *shudder* Max. He’s enough to make anyone hate rugrats for life.
Poteet
February 4th, 2010 at 2:19 am [Reply]

9CL — Yes, I myself frequently gossip with friends about bridges and buildings. Get a load of the girders on that one! *wink wink nudge nudge*
True Fable
February 4th, 2010 at 2:22 am [Reply]

Army of One “Rump Sniffing”. I…I… words fail me. Gagging does not.
True Fable
February 4th, 2010 at 2:32 am [Reply]

Crack GOATS!! Goats in a stereotypically false scene that assumes goats will eat anything when in truth, they can be very fastidious about their food selection! At least I think they are goats. This is Crock so they could be legionaries with furry coats. Or Helena Bonham Carter.
Hurt Locker
February 4th, 2010 at 2:50 am [Reply]

Thursday’s Funky Cancercancer: “BLARRR! ME IRAKKY VET! ME SNAP NOW! GO SHOOT UP MONOTONY PIZZA! RAAAGGH!!” Seriously, I haven’t seen a serious issue handled this stupidly since Michael Crichton, in the first edition of “The Terminal Man,” suggested that people having epileptic seizures picked up weapons and tried to kill loved ones in an uncontrollable rage, having no memory of any of it afterward. (Crichton changed this and posted an apology in subsequent editions, before racing off to write equally reality-challenged books.) Fortunately for Batty Uck, while real-life vets don’t appreciate this sort of nonsense (their reaction to “Brothers” was less than enthusiastic), they’re unlikely to “snap” and go after him.

Luann: The stage is set for a major fire to start somewhere while Brad and Toni are playing slide-down-the-firepole. Who will survive?!? What’s with the painfully obvious, suicidally stupid decisions? Is this “Anders Loves Maria” now?

Dick Tracy: Yet another caper is going to just fall into Dick’s lap, and this time his wife’s there to discourage him from doing what little work he actually does anymore. When Tess isn’t actively inviting mad scientists to burn the flesh off of her friends’ faces, she’s telling Dick to sleep on the job. Dick, I think it’s time to get (another) divorce.
True Fable
February 4th, 2010 at 2:55 am [Reply]

Dennis the Mildly Annoying It’s Mr. Wilson as the menace this time, plotting dire happenings to Dennis’s future spawn. Way to, uh, go Mr. Wilson!

Assoline Galley So nice to hear from YOU Nina, you with the deep trenches on either side of your mouth and a turkey waddle on your neck!

Bradann Oh lord, it’s worse than anyone thought. Brad and Toni have been affected by the Patterson Syndrome, in which the plotline is diverted into a coffee-drinking session and the characters are revealed to be total asswipes.

Tiny Tyrant Francis brings home a streetwalker!
Hurt Locker
February 4th, 2010 at 3:01 am [Reply]

I really should finish the comics before running over here to bitch about them.

My Cage Needs The Newspaper Changed: Uh, don’t most strips by Melissa DeJesus and Ed Power cause ass cancer? See, tossing around complete and utter bullshit is fun! Anyone can do it! (See also: Bizarro, Frazz.)

Non Sequitur: Wow, what’s more horrifying? The close up? Or the thought that went through your head while reading the final panel? Don’t try to deny it, you sick freak!
Steve the Pocket
February 4th, 2010 at 3:05 am [Reply]

Beetle Bailey: You know, you gotta give this strip credit. Most people, if they would dare to reference a strip club in their comics at all, would just leave off at the suggestive name. But not Beetle Bailey. It has to take it all the way, with explicit descriptions of just what goes on within. I guess they finally realized it’s in no danger of ever being canceled from any of the thousand-plus newspapers it runs in and decided to finally have some fun.

Cleats, here, provides a good example of how other comics have to bowdlerize their material for fear of losing readers. “Wenches.” Pttttthpt! Also, if they’re Spinal Tap, I think being exposed to debauchery is the least of the worries of anyone who signs on as their drummer…

Herb and Jamaal has decided to take a break from plagiarizing itself and instead plagiarize an unattributed joke that everyone’s heard before. Leave that shit to Flo and Friends, guys. It can get away with it because it’s tailor-made for old people with memory loss.

Pluggers: “A painting of such greatness demands only the finest materials. And what could be finer than black velvet in a cheap imitation wood frame? It would be showcased in only the fanciest double-wide trailers!” – Strong Bad
Lucky
February 4th, 2010 at 3:21 am [Reply]

Archie – Financial crisis finally reaches Riverdale while the rest of the world is seeing the first signs of recovery. What kind of bubble do they live in?

Beetle Bailey – His relationship with Beetle growing stale, Sarge decides to dip in the seedier end of the furry fandom.

Family Circus – Jeffy has finally developed a full-blown depression as a result of years of abuse from his older siblings (and PJ), or maybe because of the inky blackness that has seems to have enveloped the Keane compound.

Spider-Man – “Can anyone hang from the ceiling uselessly?”
KarMann
February 4th, 2010 at 3:50 am [Reply]

2/4:
A3G: When was the last time anyone called them “field glasses”? They’re almost always just “binoculars” these days. Let’s ask Mark Trail; I’m sure he’ll know.
Better Half: I was appalled by this, but not just for the obvious reasons. I was reading my textbook for small business management class, and noticed that the style of a couple of illustrative cartoons looked disturbingly familiar. I took note of the artist’s name, and sure enough, when I got to today’s BH, it was a match. It doesn’t really surprise me, though; the book is rather badly written in other respects as well. And the cartoons are just as amusing as you’d expect of a hybrid between BH and a discourse on management methods.
Blondie: Is there going to be any follow-through on any of this week’s potentially ground-breaking development’s for Dagwood & family? Gets his antennæ chopped off, son talks about moving back in with them, and now he gets fired five different ways. Well, the antennæ were back the next day, and I haven’t seen any other signs of the son coming home to roost. Will he be back at work within a day or two, as if nothing ever happened?
Cathy: If you’re featured in most of the pictures, Cathy, a good burial — or burning! — would be about the best they could hope for.
Close to Home: Is that fat cat (not in a hat), by any chance, named Garfield?
Crankshafted: Is there even supposed to be a funny here? It’s so hard to tell sometimes.
Crock: I know it’s already been duly noted by the acknowledged expert in the field, but it bears repeating: Goats!!
F-: So, can I have all your gum and macaroni, then, kid?
Mibbitmaker
February 4th, 2010 at 3:54 am [Reply]

The Feb. 4th Overnight Snark — the seedier side of the comics:

BBailey: Aye-Aye, nudge-nudge, bark no more, bark no more…

HotC: Uh-oh, the dog’s taking it to that place Otto’s going to in Beetle Bailey!

Marmaduke Speaks!: “And later, toots, I know this place… You just scratch the door 4 times, and ask for Otto….”

JP: My, what a sexy comics page today!
KarMann
February 4th, 2010 at 4:07 am [Reply]

2/4 cont’d:
GT: In which Marty Moon interviews Coach about the practices for the annual post-bonfire orgy.
JP: Neddy, don’t you mean “tired and shagged out, following a prolonged ’squawk’”?
Today’s MT might make for an interesting text swap with some Prince Valiant dialogue. Just a suggestion.
MW: As her eyes shift back to brown, I notice that Dawn’s mention of “[Dad's] college girlfriend” implies that he never had another girlfriend during college, before or after Abbey. Which is rather a relief, frankly.
MG&G: I guess no one ever told Ralph the one about picking your friends, and picking your nose.
MC: If this were true, some budding scientist should do a study on the consumption of diet soda in Westview.
PBS: Rather a letdown today. I luvs me my “Revolution Nine”.
Phantom: Captain Savarna sounds like quite a potential Phantomess-in-training, here.
Pluggers: Looks like it’s my turn to get a “Weird Al” Yankovic song stuck in my head by a cartoon, today. Hardly the worst thing Pluggers has ever done to me!
Quigmans: Be afraid. Be very afraid.
RMMD: You want to talk about options, Heather? As I mentioned, Gil Thorpe has some options for you!
RwO: Considering that those are all also legs along that side, and not what you’d usually call arms, the crutches are rather forced here.
The Other Coast: Now if we could just find out where this high school is, we’d know where the swamp is where Mark & Rusty took their fishing trip!
Sheila Sternwell
February 4th, 2010 at 4:39 am [Reply]

GT: I have no joke here, I just like saying “When we go slow and quick, we do better with one of the bulky guys in the middle.”

Juggs Parker: For years I’ve made fun of Juggs Parker because… well, because it’s Juggs Parker. But today I’m just tired by the whole ordeal. We’re well into week 3 of everyone discussing Rocky and Godiva boinking and commenting on their pre- and/or post-boinking appearance. This hey-people-are-fucking conversation was only interrupted by another hey-people-are-fucking conversation about Neddy and her new pole provider. Okay, we get it, people fuck sometimes. Enough already. Damn.

MT: Beaver butt!

DT: I have no joke here, I just like saying “Enjoy the buffet, Dick.”
dyslexic dog
February 4th, 2010 at 7:30 am [Reply]

It’s always a treat when a comic reminds you of a sweet event in your past. For example, today’s Edge City . . .
8th Man Fan
February 4th, 2010 at 7:52 am [Reply]

Phantom: Hey, Kit, it’s just the two of you and she’s already seen you in civvies. Take off the friggin’ cowl!
Pozzo
February 4th, 2010 at 8:33 am [Reply]

I know those are buttons on his pockets, but it sure looks like Brad cut holes in the front of his uniform to expose his nipples.
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 4th, 2010 at 8:52 am [Reply]

MC: Hey, that’s the same brand the guys in H&J drink!
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 4th, 2010 at 8:57 am [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#103): not just in JP, either! (although that first panel is an art disaster, and one color-monkey mistake away from being unspeakable.)

We have implied “about to be topless” Janis in A&J’s blog, a naughty oral sex ref in the daily A&J, a guest shot of June Morgan in LaCuc, and a gynormous hairy beaver in MT! All the usual suspects and more!

I laughed, hard, at OTH today.

Also, loved the attention to detail on the spider in Lio.

lastly, in response to yesterday’s 6C , butching up the apparel doesn’t change the fact that you’re still canine rats.
Little Guy
February 4th, 2010 at 9:15 am [Reply]

Luann: This will be solved when the Captain is forced to babysit Shannon.

JP: MOVE YOUR DAMN HEAD, KID!

S-M: It could be Peter Pan with Stickum. Or David Letterman with his Velcro suit. BTW, shoutouts to Doc Hammer and “Venture Brothers”. I’m enjoying reading Reed Richards/”Mister Kitty Fantastico Head Honcho” and heading Stephen Colbert’s voice.

PBS: There is NO crappy Lennon/Beatles song, Pastis. Well, except for “Tax Man”.

S4th: I’m waiting for the Canadian Zombie zingers. I hope.

Curtis: The Dalai Lama showed up at her doorstep with a “The, Michelle, the!” poster.
Ed Dravecky
February 4th, 2010 at 9:37 am [Reply]

@Hurt Locker (#99): Actually, it didn’t, but probably because I remembered that Lucy is what scientists call a “girl horse”, not one of those “boy horses” allegedly preferred by Catherine the Great.
Mibbitmaker
February 4th, 2010 at 9:38 am [Reply]

9CL: “Then we were chased over a hill like the VonTrapps….”

A3G: Caught ‘im… red………handed…? (????)

BBlues: A parent’s history is just dull propaganda.

Blondie: Wait for it……

Cranky: It runs in the family. ~AAAAAUUGGHHHHHH!!!

FW: Later, at the police station…
“But officer, the psycho kept calling me ‘Saddam’ for some reason!”

DT: Dick and Tess in New York City, 2001 –
DICK: “That — that plane’s headed towards the World Trade Center! The tower!!”
TESS: “Dick, just have some fun! Look! Over there — puppies…!”
benro
February 4th, 2010 at 9:43 am [Reply]

RM – Broke, unemployed, young, hot – put her on a bus to the Port Authority!!
Spunde
February 4th, 2010 at 9:53 am [Reply]

Gotta like “Virgil Ohso’s Liar.” A crime boss with a press secretary!
AMC
February 4th, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

Non Sequitor – Two Girls, One Horse.
Chip Whittle
February 4th, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

@Spunde (#115):

Gotta like “Virgil Ohso’s Liar.” A crime boss with a press secretary!

Looks like the copy editor didn’t make the guess list.

Mark Trail: The Senator is getting ready to break up with Mark Trail, right? This is all leading up to “let’s just be friends”? Or to feed Mark to the capybara?
Mark M
February 4th, 2010 at 10:41 am [Reply]

I’m pretty sure that BC was being sarcastic in the comment. “Way to overact there, Costner” is similar to “No shit, Sherlock” when someone points out the blindingly obvious as if they’ve made a major discovery. BC was chiding the dinosaur for not acting intensely enough.
wossname
February 4th, 2010 at 10:54 am [Reply]

MT – Elrod, having observed the recent comics trend (well documented in this blog) of closeups of shapely derrieres, counters with his best shot: A ginormous beaver butt.

RMMD – The outbreak of ocular chromatamorphosis (aka, eyes randomly changing colors) that plagues Charterstone has spread to Morganville.

Luann – I don’t think there’s going to be any hanky panky in the lounge. We’ll probably just have days of blablabla, but I’m holding out slight hope that there will be a five-alarm fire and they’ll both have to go rushing off to it and Brad will fall off a ladder and Toni will catch him — or anything along those lines involving action rather than blablabla.
Professor Fate
February 4th, 2010 at 10:57 am [Reply]

Judge Parker: “They look tired?” TMI, way way too much.

Mary Wroth: Dawn also wondered about string and its many uses and why her eyes were not fixed in place on her face.

FW: It’s not road rage, it’s the Mustache! Wally has been possessed by Mark Trail!
Hibbleton
February 4th, 2010 at 10:57 am [Reply]

MW: So Dawn cups her hand over her ear to better hear the voices in her head. Okay, but why is she nibbling on rose petals in panel one?
Muffaroo
February 4th, 2010 at 11:01 am [Reply]

Archie – I see that Mr. Lodge is still reading that nostalgic old issue of the Riverdale News, back from those happy days when the financial crisis only loomed.

Beetle – Ah, yes: French poodles. Does the Walker machine subscribe to the convention that all French poodles are females? Don’t ask, and if they tell, don’t listen.

Family – “Additional smiles may be obtained at the usual rate of two dollars for the first minute and one dollar per minute thereafter. Quit shakin’ me.”

Smirky – Now hold on there, hot shot! Chances are he’s only working the horn because of your “Honk If You Have Cancer” sticker!
Muffaroo
February 4th, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]

Judge – Move over, Slylock. The first panel is an engrossing game of “What the bleep is going on here?” and the other two are “Six Differences.”

Marmaduke – “This is his idea of scoring some blonde Afghan.”

Momma – Aw, nuts, it’s still alive, and… holy cow! I can tell that the girl in panel 3 is supposed to be good looking!

Non Seq – Get used to it, lady. Danae has a “Catherine the Great” complex.

1Big – Oddly enough, I don’t mind that this framing device has been going on for a while, because it’s actually been entertaining. Take heed, some of you other cartoonists.

Pearls – Oddly enough, though I can see Rat’s point, Revolution #9 was the first song I taped off of that album, back in the reel-to-reel days.
Muffaroo
February 4th, 2010 at 11:07 am [Reply]

Ghost-who-listens – “Until the night my life was changed forever! It was September 19, and everybody was talking like a stupid goddamn pirate. I vowed then that I would kill every pirate I could find in hopes of making it stop.”

Pluggers – A plugger may not know much. Full stop.

Prickly – I get it, but a better analogy would be if the desert hamsters had attacked once, and most everything that happened after that was out of fear that they might do it again.

R=R – This isn’t right. Rose’s Body Buddy Blanket should be made of canvas and have leather straps on the back for the sleeves.

Spidey – Two questions: Is that a hung ceiling that will fall down in another second or two? And does Spider-Man’s butt have its own set of microscopic hooks that cling to the ceiling? (If the answer to #2 is ‘yes,’ then how does MJ feel about it?) (A special No-Prize will be awarded to the first reader to say “With her hands.” Face Front, True Believer!!!)
Muffaroo
February 4th, 2010 at 11:10 am [Reply]

@True Fable (#96): I saw them more as hybrid moose/yaks who like to eat garbage.

@98: Nina’s face lines actually serve a purpose. They spell “NINA.”
Calico
February 4th, 2010 at 11:11 am [Reply]

@Hibbleton (#121):
Meanwhile, Wilbur goes back to Facebooking (I cannot believe I am using that as a verb) and eating sandwiches.

Beetle – I really, really hope this is thew first and last time I will read the phrase “Rump sniffing” in the comics.
God knows our cats do plenty of that, and stick their butts right in my face when I’m at the computer. Nice.
John C Fremont
February 4th, 2010 at 11:23 am [Reply]

DT – “Enjoy the buffet, Dick. And don’t forget to tip your waitress. Goodnight, folks! I’ll be here all week!”

Oh, and Virgil Ohso’s still a liar. As for Generalissimo Francisco Franco, well…
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
February 4th, 2010 at 11:38 am [Reply]

@Muffaroo (#123): OBH: I know this is tiring. I know I repeat myself. I know that the snarkers don’t pay much attention to what I have to say/rant, but:
I AM CONVINCED THAT MR. DETORIE IS NOT DRAWING THIS STRIP ANY MORE. Whomever (whoever?) is drawing it is very close, but I don’t see the same hand at work. For one thing, the lines are thinner. For another, the heads are longer and narrower. There is a narrower range of expression in the faces. There is less attention to the backgrounds, when there are backgrounds. Overall, the drawing is sloppier. OTHER THAN THAT, NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

Also, while I am at it: a while ago I asked a question that no one answered: How do we find out what the circulation of various comic strip is? In other words, how do we find out, for instance, how many papers Blondie appears in, these days? This would be interesting to find out.

the humor, that’s something else. I think Mr. Detories is still writing the strip.
TheDiva
February 4th, 2010 at 11:43 am [Reply]

C’shaft: STOP THAT!

DT: And Lord knows security personnel would NEVER examine something any other way.

FW: Huh, and here I thought people who scream obscenities at other drivers (especially if they are in the wrong–not moving on a green light, for example) were just being assholes. Turns out it’s a symptom of PTSD. Now I know!

Luann: Geez, Toni and Brad can’t even have an inappropriate workplace romance properly.

MW: Yeah, how many “Martin Clarks” could there be in the world, anyway?
Chip Whittle
February 4th, 2010 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

Wonderful and cute comic strip Dog Eat Doug suffers from thought-bubble misattribution today.

Also Sophie notes they’re bypassing the Jersey Turnpike, although since yesterday’s map showed them driving around Winston-Salem, North Carolina, they’re overachieving on bypassing the Turnpike.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 4th, 2010 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

2/4

JP: WE GET IT!!!!

GT: Middle panel translated:
Marty Moon: So Gil, what do you say? Threesome with you and Mimi? Dinner’s on me.
Gil: You know how it is, Marty. Kaz has got dibs on the weekend. We’ll let you know if plans change.

GA: Or you could get your cheap ass to an Army/Navy store.

BB: Sarge taking Otto to a doggie gentleman’s club? Excuse me, I have to go find that icepick.

A3G: Okay Bobbie, remember, in this scene your face has to show regret, betrayal, hints of lingering love and desire. It’s a big order, but we think you can handle it. Um, Bobbie? We’re rolling, Bobbie.

DtM: That look on Mr. Wilson’s face is one of the most chilling things I’ve ever seen. “I’ll start with his firstborn. Yes, yes, that will be the first to taste my blade. Then when he thinks he can lose no more…”

Phantom: “Ghost-Who-Walks, have you ever heard of a book called Dianetics?”

6C: Is it Carmen Miranda’s birthday?

FW: Since he got out of the car after the light turned green, I can only conclude that Wally is trying to commit suicide by oncoming car. With his luck it will only result in paralysis.

H&J: And that was the day Herb knew he needed to get his friend into tox rehab.

S-M: Spidey can stick his but to the drop ceiling tiles. He’s got the proportional static cling of a spider.
SDiego Diego
February 4th, 2010 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

@Little Guy (#111):

Actually, “Tax Man” was a George Harrison song. . .
Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here
February 4th, 2010 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#131): Carman Miranda – Close. She was born February 9th.
I can’t wait to get out the fruit basket.
Calico
February 4th, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#131):
Re: JP – Here comes kid #9!
They can have their own reality show like the Gosselins or the Duggards.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 4th, 2010 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

BB: “Rump sniffing”? Oh, how nice—they offer something for Sarge, too!

SM: He jumps out of reach to escape danger—yep, must be Spider-Man.

FC: If I’d suddenly shrunk back to infant size, I’d be a little disgruntled, too.

MT: Actually, I think it would be pretty easy to preserve a wilderness when it’s guarded by giant beavers.

JP: Nope, you’re no fashion rube, Sophie. Because all the Parisian fashionistas are wearing a single, droopy braid.

A3G: That touch of gray—along the bottom half of his hair? Is Bobbie married to Martin Magee? Or just to a man Martin Magee’s age who, according to the A3G Immutable Rules of Similarity, will look exactly like Martin Magee?

Older, distinguished, prosperous male: Yes, he must have a “touch of gray.” You gotta at least give the A3G writers this: When they decide on a set of signifiers, they fully commit to them.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 4th, 2010 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#73): No forgiveness necessary—it’s the thought that counts (and the thought was wishing me some bourbon and an energetic roll in the hay—both of which would likely do me some good!).

@True Fable (#92): I’ll jump partially on to the pro-Costner bandwagon: Bull Durham is one of the sexiest movies, ever, and Costner is sexy in it.
commodorejohn
February 4th, 2010 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

Ah dammit, I had my comments all typed out, and then my keyboard accidentally double-tapped the “close tab” combination…ARGH.

BB – I move that this strip be classified as a war crime.

Curtis – I dunno, I actually kind of feel sorry for Michelle, just because she really is hated by the entire universe.

FC – It’s Jeffy’s bleary, dead-eyed expression that really makes this one. Bil, of course, is oblivious, forcing himself to believe that his children actually like him or appreciate any of the things he does for them.

FW – Ha ha!

GT – You know what never gets old? Marty Moon’s vendetta against Gil. I love the way he’s always questioning his actions in slightly different ways, like he’s sure that if he just approaches the situation from a different angle, he can spot the chink in the coach’s armor of deception and falsehood, and topple the mighty Thorp empire forever. You go, Marty! Speak truth to power!

JP – “Incredible.” That’s a nice diplomatic way to put it.

MT – No! Don’t try to introduce complexity or moral ambiguity! You’ll confuse Mark, and there’s no telling who’ll get punched!

MW – “Oog, the dissolution of spacetime where the hall used to be is making me woozy!”

Momma – In any other strip, I’d be squicked the hell out, but here? I’d really actually like Francis and his lady-friend to strip naked and start mashing genitals right in front of Momma, just to spite her.

NS – Good lord is she freaky.

PBS – Yeah, pretty much.

Ghost-Who-Dines – Oh my God! Savarna is a super-hero, too? We wouldn’t be getting an origin story if that weren’t the case, would we? She’s like a cross between Captain Nemo and Batman!

Pluggers – Pluggers like things that even insufferable hipsters won’t pretend to appreciate ironically.

Popeye – Is this seriously going to end with Popeye just walking away from an unresolved conflict? What is this, Spider-Man?

SM – I dunno, I wouldn’t find that particularily convincing, not in a universe where you can’t sneeze on a subway without hitting someone with super-powers.
odinthor
February 4th, 2010 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

BeBa. — Well, I remembering being at a joint where the guys would sit up and beg. Same place?

GT. —

When we go small and quick, we do better with one of the bulky guys in the middle.

OK, now they’re just baiting us.

Luann. — You really want 50 years of this, Brad?

MW. —

A name I’ve heard before . . . Could it be the one I’m thinking of?

So Dawn, just how long does it take for one portion of your brain to communicate with another portion?
Muffaroo
February 4th, 2010 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

@odinthor (#138): The thing with Dawn is that, even though her words don’t rhyme or scan, she is actually in an opera. She can’t just have a thought, she has to develop it in sonata form with recapitulation and a ritornello or two, and wind it all up with a stretto with maybe a nice cadenza where she goes off the rails completely and does scales and trills. That stuff can’t be rushed.
Uncle Ritzy Fritz
February 4th, 2010 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

@Chip Whittle (#117): Imagine a world where there were people who actually gave a huge beaver’s ass about how a particular story line in Mark Trail might turn out. And then assume that story line is based nearly word-for-word on a similarly glacially-paced arc that Elrod et. al. had published some 30 years ago. Would it be possible to skip ahead in the old story to find out what will happen/has happened? Go back to the future as it were? Any space-time continuum implications here? Faithful reader These Strange Worlds, what say you?
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 4th, 2010 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Ritzy Fritz (#140): Another phrase, gleaned from this site, that I must try to work into conversations: “As if I gave a huge beaver’s ass about it!”
These Strange Worlds
February 4th, 2010 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

@Uncle Ritzy Fritz (#140):

I have seen the future and it involves a Senator poaching game and having it flown to his restaurant in float planes.
Dr. Weird
February 4th, 2010 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

Non Sequitur

We don’t see much of Obligatory Fiancee Woman in this strip, but have we ever seen her profile before? Has she always looked like a plastic surgery addict whose features are threatening to slide off her face? Creepy to the extreme! But I suppose that as a man (who the strip points out are all crude and/or stupid), Joe Pyle should settle for whoever will accept him.
sully
February 4th, 2010 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

LEAVE KEVIN ALONE!
You’re lucky he even MAKES movies for you BASTARDS!

Sincerely
Chris Crocker
tb4000
February 4th, 2010 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

FW: Actually, I quite enjoy this change of pace with someone in the Funkyverse actually choosing to take on the constant Kafka-esque life they have been thrust into headlong and without remorse. Wally, that is gangsta.
UncleJeff
February 4th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#136): I saw a couple stomp out of “Bull Durham” less than a minute into the picture. They came to see a baseball movie and were offended to see Nuke LaLoosh and the groupie girl humping in a bathroom stall.
Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here
February 4th, 2010 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#141): If you care to know more about beaver ass.
http://laveganloca.blogspot.com/2008/02/beaver-butt-juice.html
Ed Dravecky
February 4th, 2010 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: Pam, as you can tell by the look of horror on Jeff’s face, it’s not funnier when you mangle the English language at your father’s expense.
Comcis Fan
February 4th, 2010 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

BB: This is about as debauched as any funny pages comic can be. I’m surprised the dog’s hat knots aren’t all excited, the way Killer’s get when he’s around Miss Buxley. That dog cearly has more of a normal sex drive than Sarge.

FW: Can we go back to making fun of Toxic Tacos?

MW: Could it be that Dawn and Kurt are both the spawn of one (music, please) Martin Clark? Could that be why Dawn and Kurt resemble each other? Or was Dawn one of a long line of girls used and discarded by that cad?
gnome de blog
February 4th, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

@Professor Fate (#120) said:

FW: It’s not road rage, it’s the Mustache! Wally has been possessed by Mark Trail!

Somebody go find Les, quick!
gnome de blog
February 4th, 2010 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

None of that scary stuff is gonna happen in the firehouse. Brad’s just gonna propose, that’s all.
Bitter Scribe
February 4th, 2010 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

B.C.: OK, maybe a scenery-chewer like Robert Downey Jr. would have been more appropriate. But the thought of seeing Costner’s smug face mounted on a wall, even faked, makes me smile.
odinthor
February 4th, 2010 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

@Muffaroo (#139): Hm. Quite so. And if we’re talking music-related terms, fugal thought certainly comes to mind too . . .
Fashion Police
February 4th, 2010 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

Miss Weston’s stranger-than-usual attire finally makes sense: in her distress over her father’s infatuation with an itinerant confidence man, she’s donned her robe and jammies and is taking to her bed.
Hibbleton
February 4th, 2010 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

JP: “Here come Rocky and Godiva,” judging from her pose in panel two, you’d think Abby was referring to her breasts.
feraljane
February 4th, 2010 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

I always thought Costner looked on screen like he’d just wet himself (excepting the Untouchables, where he looked like his nuts hurt) – I thought the dinosaur did a pretty good impression of looking like he’d accidentally peed down his leg.
odinthor
February 4th, 2010 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

@odinthor (#138): “I remembering being at a joint…”? Ye gods. Must be my Yngling ancestry attempting to come to the fore linguistically. It of course should be “I remembering be at a joint…”
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 4th, 2010 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

BBl: wait, what?!? Is that Dad ducking a “I got high at a concert” story?

A&J: thoughts from the peanut gallery about what the bets might be? My first thoughts were “who gets oral”, the QG wondered if a cheerleader outfit might be involved.
commodorejohn
February 4th, 2010 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#158): It’s my impression that metal concerts are more “got drunk” than “got high,” but I could be mistaken. In any event, today’s Baby Blues does a nice job of being completely unambiguous but still getting the joke past the censors.

Also, A&J…good question. I can name a bunch of things it could be, but I have no idea which ones Arlo and Janis would be into. Then again, if she’s requesting that he get “imaginative,” I suppose all bets are off…
wooddragon
February 4th, 2010 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

(delurking for a moment) Worst Beatles song ever (and I love the Beatles): Why don’t we do it in the road.
fahrenheit451
February 4th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#135):

A3G-That would make her Bobbie Magee. And it would explain a lot of things.
Bootsy
February 4th, 2010 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#126):

Calico, perhaps you should have said “Wilbur went back to Facebooking and sandwiching”. I too hate nouns being made into trendy verbs. No! You cannot friend me!
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 4th, 2010 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

@Bootsy (#162):

like this?
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 4th, 2010 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#163):

or this from C&H?
Bootsy
February 4th, 2010 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#163):

Thanks, queek! Exactly.
queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
February 4th, 2010 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

a classic lolcat version
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 4th, 2010 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

@Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here (#147): Who could possibly resist any link containing the words “beaver butt juice”? Not me, and not, I’m betting, our friend Mark Trail.

@fahrenheit451 (#161):
Stalking’s just another word for nothing left to lose
Alimony, that’s all that Martin left me, yeah,
But feeling good is easy, Lord, when Ari gives me pills,
Hey, feeling good is good enough for me, hmm hmmm,
Good enough if I can just catch Martin Magee.
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 4th, 2010 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#166): My friends at work and I verb each other; so “to Smith,” for example, is to show up at a colleague’s office door every 30 minutes just to chat. (I have not yet been successfully verbed, however.)

Words are fun!
kkarenb
February 4th, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

Pluggers – Is it possible to obtain a court order forbidding Reed Hoover from submitting crap like this?

PBS – Speaking as a hardcore, since-day-one Beatles fan, I have to agree.

Pickles – A gold star for Mrs. Pickles for knitting correctly. I know I have said this before, but I have a pet peeve with comics artists who show characters knitting without having a clue as to how it is done. When a character is shown knitting she is usually holding the needles upside down.
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 4th, 2010 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

I too hate nouns being made into trendy verbs.
Ha ha, yes. I had the same thought recently while I was peeling an apple, but then I noticed my shoe was untied so I bent down to lace it, and realized it’s time to dust under the cabinets again. I penciled that onto the bottom of my to-do list before heading out to finish weeding the garden.

People just don’t respect the English language, as immutably defined by whichever textbook I happened to have in gradeschool. Gosh!
bourbon babe, unbuckled
February 4th, 2010 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#168): Oooh—”to queek”: to supply the perfect link, squee or otherwise, for any occasion.

e.g., I had some trouble finding an image of a huge beaver ass, but then I totally queeked it.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 4th, 2010 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

#133 DNMMIANH,
Huh. I was just wiseassing, but maybe Gibbons is paying tribute. The 9th is a Tuesday, which is Margaret “Don’t Call Me Margo” Shulock’s day, so this was kind of a last chance.
Muffaroo
February 4th, 2010 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

@kkarenb (#169): Is it possible to obtain a court order forbidding Reed Hoover from submitting crap like this?

No. “Pluggers laugh at court orders.” [Sent in by Rood Heever of Fort Worth, WI]
Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here
February 4th, 2010 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#172): You wiseass well. Wait. Was I just verbing?
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 4th, 2010 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

#137 commodorejohn

Momma – In any other strip, I’d be squicked the hell out, but here? I’d really actually like Francis and his lady-friend to strip naked and start mashing genitals right in front of Momma, just to spite her.

Not while I’m watching. That sight would top coming face-to-face with Cthulu any day of the week.
Aviatrix
February 4th, 2010 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#91): I knew there was something portentous about Mark Trail today. I was so focused on the giant beaver I missed the total significance. Perhaps it’s a psychology test: “do you see the beaver or the canoe?”

@Steve the Pocket (#100): BB did stop short of a “Bitches! Bitches! Bitches!” marquee.

MW: Low expectations lead to delight. All I had hoped for in this storyline is that it would rise above merely having Mary meddle Dawn out of her jealousy over her long lost half brother. The suggestion that Kurt doesn’t have sufficiently believe in his professed paternity to submit to a test was my payoff, but having Dawn potentially (Dawn!) play a role other than worried woman is the most exciting thing to happen since the shootout at the SantaRoyMart warehouse.
Aviatrix
February 4th, 2010 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

@Chip Whittle (#130): You have to admit that routing through North Carolina does bypass the Jersey turnpike.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 4th, 2010 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

#174 DNMMIANH,
Verbing weirds language, as Calvin would say.
Steve the Pocket
February 4th, 2010 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

Now you guys have got me wondering: Was it Calvin and Hobbes that originated the use of “verb” as a verb, or had it been done before that?
Do Not Mind Me I Am Not Here
February 4th, 2010 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#178): I’ve been weirded!
Ribinin
February 4th, 2010 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

@queek, Source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#164): I am all FOR verbing. It takes all the guesswork out a diagramming sentences.
Miss Othmar
February 4th, 2010 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

@bourbon babe, unbuckled (#171): I queek, you queek, he/she/it queeks, we queek, they queek… You queek?
nickw918
February 5th, 2010 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

I like to think that the dinosaur is just named ‘Costner’, and it isn’t a reference at all.
YTT
February 5th, 2010 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

BC: I thought the joke was that Kevin Costner IS a dinosaur, BECAUSE his career peaked so long ago.

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