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Metapost: Get well soon comments of the week!

Your COTW shortly, but first, a note on the health of Judge Parker artist Eduardo Barreto: It appears that while he is very ill, things may be more hopeful than previously indicated, and the syndicate is not planning on replacing him any time soon, but will rather give him time to get better and see if he’s still up to it. So, we will have to endure some replacement artists, but hopefully he will be up and better before too long. Fingers crossed!

And now, your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“I love how Mrs. Drunky McDrunkerson is willing to give every relevant detail about Kurt, but NOT ONE DETAIL MORE! ‘I’m willing to (hic) answer 10 or 11 questions and fill in some background detail, but that’s IT! (hic)’” –Patrick

And the extremely funny runners up!

“I love how Jeffy is smugly shitting himself. ‘You think peanut butter is bad, bitch? We’re sharing a room tonight!’” –It’s time to pay the price

Mark Tail, Panel 2: ‘Judge Parker does gratuitous ass shots all the time, so why can’t I?’” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“To be fair, Trixie is 55 years old now and has never been continent. It’d be pissing me off by that point as well.” –TruthOfAngels

“I really like Spiderman this week, learning about all the Marvel™ characters who live in New York. Mainly what I’m learning is that they’re all pricks.” –JD

“My brain pretty much freezes up at attempting to comprehend how unsophisticated someone would have to be to regard Mark Trail as a fancy city dweller.” –Violet

“Now you and your friend here can pack up and go back to your fancy city, what with all the ’lectricity and indoor plummin’ and laws against marryin’ your sisters.” –Perky Bird

“For today’s matinee, the part of Helen Clark will be played by David Bowie. The part of the whiskey will be played by Orange Tang.” –willethompson

“I think her first questions will be, ‘How come Drew cheated on me and will he ever come back?’ and ‘Do I look hot in purple?’” –Gabacho

“I think Wilbur needs to get a refund from Glamour Shots.” –Gump Worsley

“Meanwhile, in MT, why is Mark checking his watch? ‘Uh oh, it’s half past Wednesday. Time to wrap up this plot line with a few good hits and get back to ignoring my wife.’” –Nekrotzar

“The squirrels have learned of violence! We are doomed!” –The Eric

“On another note, the only interesting characters in this strip are alleged alcoholics. What happened to us? When did a glamorous and acceptable social tradition morph into a crippling social stigma?” –trey le parc

“Given that Helen Clark is now head of the United Nations Development Programme, this Mary Worth storyline could have global ramifications … which would be a nice change from storylines even the characters in the strip don’t appear to particularly care about.” –Meg

“Also, what’s up with the giant Q-Tips on Dawn’s table? I’m starting to wonder just how far she’ll go to get a sample of Kurt’s DNA.” –Phila

“I don’t know who you think you are, young lady, but unless you’re calling about providing me with more delicious transmission fluid, please leave me alone.” –Edgy DC

“Considering we see no web strand being released in panel 2 in conjunction with the ‘Thwip!’ effect, it can only be assumed that it’s the sound of Spider-Man’s sciatica acting up in typical form.” –tb4000

“Moy certainly has her cliched portrait-of-a-lifelong-drunk hiccups down, but I’m disappointed Giella hasn’t followed suit by giving this old crow a gin-blossomed nose, a few ethereal circles floating around her head, and a jauntily-cocked lampshade for a hat. Perhaps you can afford to retain visual dignity when you make your Bloody Marys with the actual blood of the working class.” –frippy

“Senior Plugger Dog Man got a crick in his neck by licking his own balls for four straight hours.” –Ned Ryerson

“The best part of the throwaway panels of Blondie: Dagwood staring blankly into space as he wonders what the hell he just bought. This changes the entire strip from ‘Herb’s hidden feelings’ to ‘Herb frantically tries to undo the florist’s brainwashing by smashing through Dagwood’s wall of cognitive dissonance.’” –Dragon of Life

“Is that a little shot glass built into the handset? You know, for added strength during difficult conversations.” –MattF

“Dawn has been yelled at so hard it’s literally given her a concussion! Next three strips: Dawn pukes on the couch and has an emotional crisis about cleaning it up.” –Trae Dorn

“My initial assumption was that she was dead, but then I remembered that I wasn’t reading Funky Winkerbean, but Crankshaft, where boundless cruelty comes from other people, rather than from the universe itself.” –Captain Thunder

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

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73 responses to “Metapost: Get well soon comments of the week!”

  1. Blueberry
    February 15th, 2010 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

    OMG, Gump Worsley is a poster!!!

  2. Muffaroo
    February 15th, 2010 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    I see it didn’t make the float, but I’d like to hoist a glass in memory of a comment I thought was darn near perfect, about how all the Mark Trail strip needed to be perfect was for the giant squirrel to have a single tear in its eye. You guys on the float — that’s what you beat! So, well done.

  3. Muffaroo
    February 15th, 2010 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    Slylock – Nice touch, how the fridge has no handle. Apparently you just knock, and whatever lives inside opens it up for you.

    @Doug Wykstra (#y2): Rather than debate which was Hart’s best comic, I’ll relate that a few years back, somebody on one of my newsgroups was saying that Mao would turn within his crypt if he knew about today’s ‘reforms.’ I replied that once a year, they take the Three Gorges Dam offline for maintenance, and during that time they hook a generator to The Chairman to keep things going. “Electrical power,” I summed up, “comes from the barreling of Zedong.”

    Josh (yesterthread) re: Id – “Behold, the pheasant plucker of Id! (He slits sheets.)”

  4. wossname
    February 15th, 2010 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    @Muffaroo (#2): I’ll drink to that, Muffaroo, and I think the person who posted it was Mariye (sorry if I screwed up the name).
    And Blueberry #1, I smile every time I see that Gump Worsley has posted. Now if we could just get Rocket Richard to stop lurking and start posting…
    Congrats to Patrick and all the extremely entertaining floatriders. Since it’s Mardi Gras, the parade should have some great music this week. Throw me some beads!

  5. Terrible Ted Lindsay
    February 15th, 2010 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#4):
    If Rocket Richard shows up around here I’ll make him think Mark Trail punches like a girl.

  6. Patrick
    February 15th, 2010 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Oh, wow! Last-minute comment becomes COTW! I throw you all beads from the float!

  7. Écureuil Écumant
    February 15th, 2010 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    I’m totally delighted to hear that Barreto apparently isn’t in extremis. I was hoping as much, since last week he was able to communicate. With meningitis, a lot depends on the organism involved and its drug sensitivity. Some bugs can cause problems with other areas besides just the central nervous system; without getting specific, let’s simply hope he’s been spared any of that junk and will be able to return and beautify “Jugs” Parker!

  8. AhClem
    February 15th, 2010 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    #3 Muffaroo -
    Pretty clever, those Chinese, wrapping him in copper wire and gluing magnets to the coffin.

  9. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 15th, 2010 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    @Muffaroo (#2): I remember the crying-squirrel comment, too.

    So, yay for the Float Folk, and yay for those deserving folk left behind!

    Throw chocolate, please. It’s been that kind of week.

  10. wossname
    February 15th, 2010 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    bourbon babe (Y9) – I am NOT buying lavender or salmon polyester clothing for this shindig!

    Poteet (Y51) – If I had been asked to nominate a catch and release expert from this blog, your name would have been at the top of my list. I have some experience in this too, all involving critters brought into my house by cats. Several great triumphs with chipmunks (and a few sad failures). But I think my finest moment was trapping and releasing a snake about 2 feet long that my smallest cat proudly brought inside, with a wiggling snake end sticking out on each side of her mouth.

    @Terrible Ted #5 – Hah – you might scare Bobby Hull or Bronco Horvath with that stuff, but not Les Habs!

  11. Sheila Sternwell
    February 15th, 2010 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    Congrats everyone! And more international get well vibes are being sent to Eduardo as I type!

  12. Charlie
    February 15th, 2010 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    Re: Eduardo Barreto.

    The syndicate would be smart to ready a replacement in the bullpen, in case Eduardo Barreto cannot return. Hopefully Comics Editor at King, Brendan Burford, is doing that as we speak.

    Second, I wish they would’ve instructed Heebink to “ghost” the strip. He seems to be taking too many liberties. Not that I am artist, but like a pitcher brought into relief, he needs to be pulled if he doesn’t get how to draw the characters. I would have him on a “quick hook” if the art doesn’t improve.

  13. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 15th, 2010 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#10):

    I am NOT buying lavender or salmon polyester clothing for this shindig!

    So, a pencil skirt and bustier, then? After a little time with the Potato-Ade IV that Écureuil Écumant is going to set up for us, it really won’t matter what you’re wearing!

  14. Fashion Police
    February 15th, 2010 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    It’s a shame that Miss Thompson has forgotten about the smart, stylish dresses in the back of her closet. Even so, it appears that even in the beginning she was relegated to the menial tasks.

  15. seismic-2
    February 15th, 2010 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    Unfortunately, we shall probably not see a Charterstone pool party wedding reception when Dawn makes Wilbur’s dreams come true by marrying Kurt, since Wilbur would want his name to appear on the invitations as the father of the bride and the groom. The ceremony will thus have to be relocated to a locale that is more tolerant of such pairings, but at least that change of venue will have the most excellent side effect of creating any number of interesting interactions when Mary attends the wedding at its new site in Hootin’ Holler.

  16. Fashion Police
    February 15th, 2010 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#10) said:

    I am NOT buying lavender or salmon polyester clothing for this shindig!

    One would hope you speak for everyone!

  17. Uncle Lumpy
    February 15th, 2010 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    Heebink could be a really good pick.

  18. Sid Abel
    February 15th, 2010 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    You mean the Gentils Alouettes? Hah! We pull out all their feathers.

  19. Gordie Howe
    February 15th, 2010 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    The Hat Trick: one goal, one assist, one fight.

  20. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 15th, 2010 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    @Gordie Howe (#19): I was waiting for that to show up! :-D

  21. Poteet
    February 15th, 2010 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    All hail, Patrick, and thanks for the beads! And many admiring waves to you other funny people on the float.

    And thank you, Helen Clark. I wish you had stayed around longer. *sniff*

  22. Poteet
    February 15th, 2010 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#10): If I’m an expert, you’re definitely an expert too. If this shindig ever occurs, I hope we can work together. And maybe your cat should help also:-).

  23. Charlie
    February 15th, 2010 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#17):

    He has potential…but he needs to bring it…Barreto-style.

  24. commodorejohn
    February 15th, 2010 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#17): Could be. He’s got the ladies down pretty well, but what really made Baretto’s art stand out even more was the sheer goddamn artistry he put into everything, even when it was just Sam the Boringest Lawyer. Your example is on the right track; he’s trying to make things visually interesting, but it’d have a ways to go before it could compare with what Baretto’s been up to this past year or so.

    But as I said a couple threads ago, even Baretto’s art wasn’t much to write home about when he started his run on the strip, so in the event that Judge Parker does wind up with a permanent change in art duties, I’m definitely willing to give whoever winds up with the pen a chance to grow into the role.

  25. Charlie
    February 15th, 2010 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#24):

    Just so you guys know. And, this is straight from Woody Wilson. When Eduardo Barreto replaced Harold LeDoux, he was TRYING TO COPY/EMULATE LEDOUX. He was intentionally not trying to jar the readers (I know, insert pun), from the style they had been used to for over 40 years with Harold LeDoux’s pen.

    About four or five months in, they said, let him go. And, the racehorse (Barreto) was off. In a very good way.

    Which now brings us to today. Heebink isn’t even trying to emulate Barreto’s style. He didn’t try to back when he “ghosted” for him back in 2006. He isn’t now.

    That in my book, doesn’t get him the job, if Eduardo Barreto cannot return to the strip. I hope he can, but I don’t see Heebink getting any better. He sure didn’t get any “coaching” from the syndicate evidently.

  26. Perky Bird
    February 15th, 2010 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    @Fashion Police (#16): Just a word of caution: I think you should stay away from watching the Olympic pairs figure skating tonight—some of the costumes would probably give you the vapors!

    Great snark this week, everyone!

  27. commodorejohn
    February 15th, 2010 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    @Charlie (#25): I dunno. I don’t really think any comic artist should be judged on their ability to mimic another artist’s style. As long as the new guy (whoever he turns out to be, if Baretto doesn’t come back) makes good use of the space and story he’s given, I don’t think it matters if his art looks like Baretto’s version of the strip.

  28. Mooncattie and not Elmer \
    February 15th, 2010 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    A3G – OK, Bobbie, we get it already. We got it in January. Enough of your semi-closeup internal monologues. Why can’t you be more like Helen Clark over in Mary Worth? She’s one of those helper engines that push freight trains over the mountains. She shows up, pushes the story along, then goes away, fondly remembered and loved by all. You’re no helper engine, Bobbie. You’re just a lineup at the airport.

    S-M – Oh, I can’t resist. That’s not Sabretooth! That’s Helen Clark! And this time, It’s (hic) Personal!

  29. Mooncattie
    February 15th, 2010 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

    Oops – that came up in Preview as Elmer “Moose” Vasko, but I guess the tag is too long.

  30. Charlie
    February 16th, 2010 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#27):

    I would agree to a point. And, we are talking about “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. I think most would agree Barreto took the level of art up from LeDoux’s Judge Parker. LeDoux’s style, when he was younger, was near the level of what Barreto was doing now. If fell off in time.

    Barreto’s art was embraced the readers, many who follow this site. It was noted by the head of the syndicate’s comics. The syndicate doesn’t want to lose papers, because angry/irritated readers have complained about the artwork being crappy. The syndicate should’ve guided whomever was filling in.

    Heebink will have his shot. My guess, he will try to win the job and will get better.

    My original point was Barreto tried to copy LeDoux in the beginning. And, then he was allowed to let it fly. Heebink is missing the mark, for what this strip needs, IMHO. I wish other comic book greats such as Neal Adams, George Perez, Jose Garcia Lopez, Alex Ross, Rags Morales or John Romita would step into the strip and run with it.

  31. Amateur
    February 16th, 2010 at 1:18 am [Reply]

    @Perky Bird (#26): If you think the pair costumes are awful, just wait till ice dancing starts!

  32. Poteet
    February 16th, 2010 at 2:19 am [Reply]


    LUANN — Migawd, I can’t believe it. There actually are other students in that high school besides the few we always see. I see two, almost three new faces! If only the camera had panned further to the left.

    STONE SOUP — I still say Mom was trying to escape Max, and she has succeeded brilliantly.

  33. Mr. O'Malley
    February 16th, 2010 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    JP: Having your own style is one thing, but these characters don’t even look like the same people. If it weren’t for the hair color I’d be lost.

    Thankfully Phantom and RMMD have remained up to form.

    RwO: Another artist change, Mo Willems is subbing for Hillary Price. Story here:

  34. Peripheral Visionary
    February 16th, 2010 at 2:30 am [Reply]

    I do hope Barreto gets better. I do think he should have an “understudy”, but I do hope he makes a full recovery. Despite the constant jokes about his *cough* areas of emphasis, his artwork really is very often beautiful and striking. I do wonder if there is a perception that the comics page is the “minor leagues” compared to the “major leagues” of the comic books and the “all-stars” of the graphic novels, but I would not hesitate to put his artwork up there with some of the best of them.

    I would dare say he could even make ice dancing costumes presentable.

  35. bats :[
    February 16th, 2010 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    I even like the men in JP…chiseled, iron-jawed Sam, robo-Steve, mullety Rocky, goofball paparazzi — something for everyone, and they don’t necessarily look like one another, either! Get well soon, Eduardo!

  36. lostsyn
    February 16th, 2010 at 3:06 am [Reply]

    Wizard: Boo! The editors got rid of a clumsy spit vs. swallow joke thus ending bestiality week.

  37. Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
    February 16th, 2010 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    A3G: Josh? OMG! Bobbie could be spying on Margo’s dad. And if I was a cartoon I’d so be doing the secretary. Ouch! She’s doing the ‘sexy librarian’ thing right. Everything else seems to not matter. Though Annie is almost on a L. Neil Smith rant lately …

  38. Jason1981
    February 16th, 2010 at 3:52 am [Reply]


    Luann: Wow, none of us saw THAT coming
    MT: Wow,none of us saw THAT coming..
    Curtis: Wow, none of us saw THAT coming
    reFOOB: Wow, none of us saw……*sigh* nevermind…..we all knew that crap was coming…

  39. Mr. O'Malley
    February 16th, 2010 at 4:46 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#24): That link is very interesting for several reasons.

    1. We see how absolutely awful FBOFW was as it began its slow slide into the horror of the Fooberdammerung. We can just barely hear the humming of the Donmaidens starting up in the background at this point. But I have to admit that the drawing style was rather nice, except for the grotesque staring eyeballs.

    Today we’re back in the poorly drawn prehistory searching for foreshadowings of the trainwreck, and they turn out to be thick on the ground, or possibly the selection process has made them thicker than they once were. Just like the characters.

    2. MT “Powerful claws, a suit of armor and a lack of fear.” Is he talking about the crab or Cherry’s bathing suit? It’s pretty rare to have Cherry do the setup for the Sunday nature lesson. Has it happened since?

    3. Phantom: Diana in danger! But the current version with sexy Lady Captain Nemo has upped the ante a bit.

    4. Josh said that punchline will be incomprehensible in 18 months, and so it is.

    5. I think Barreto’s first day on the job was a definite improvement on the day before. But not as awesome as he later became. Get well soon!

    Evidently I wasn’t reading JP in the days of female mustaches, but it doesn’t sound worth going back to check. GT is bad enough.

    6. How much better off we are not discussing the strip that may not be discussed.

    7. “Small dogs and alligators” Again? How long does it take for MT to rotate back around to the same plot again? Just because it originally appeared in 1970, that doesn’t mean that it didn’t also come back in 1978, 1983, 1990, 1997 and 2004.

    8. Brad’s mother was up to her same tricks even back in 2006. I didn’t remember that. I don’t know where you can see Luann that far back.

    bbu, from yesterday. Sadly, Linoleum Dick’s is no longer with us, but the shopping center is still called Dick’s Center. Zorba’s is gone too, although the building is still there, rotting away into a pile of imitation Greek rubble. But there’s a great little taqueria there now and a pho place.

  40. Mr. O'Malley
    February 16th, 2010 at 5:23 am [Reply]

    I was reading ahead from the last link and noticed what may have been the beginning of the long “Alan and Jones the Beatnik” tale in A-3G:

    Maybe longtime readers can provide an earlier sighting.

    As far as we know, Jones is still selling unspecified drugs from his granny’s apartment, so maybe we will see more of him in upcoming years. He could get his own crib and maybe take on Cue as an assistant. Good times.

    Meanwhile, Margo’s father has entered the Mills Gallery, which means that he is marked for death like every other male who has ever set foot there. Sooner rather than later if he interrupts Margo’s meeting.

  41. KarMann
    February 16th, 2010 at 6:32 am [Reply]

    2/16 A&J: Between this and that Mary Parker undressing scene recently, looks like the comics artists are gearing up for Mardi Gras! Here, Johnson, have some beads! Some for the floaters, too!

  42. Vince M
    February 16th, 2010 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#9): I liked the crying-squirrel comment, but the scenario you spelled out with Wilbur waddling into ‘Mad Men’ made me laugh until I had an out-of-body experience, I swear.

  43. Little Guy
    February 16th, 2010 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Baretto: {DarthVaderComicPicNOOOOOOOOOO.gif}

    Get well soon, Ed!

  44. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 16th, 2010 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Lio: the Dr. is win.

    C-shaft: kill him now. That pun deserves death and worse. (expulsion!)

    Dilbert: *groan*

    NS: reading is FUNdemental! All snarking of Wiley aside, this is a good strip today.

    Phantom: ship berths DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!!!

    SF: “every entertainment known to man” So, try some invented by women. . . .

    A&J: I love it when J. Johnson is in a naughty mood.

  45. anon
    February 16th, 2010 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Pluggers have to wait in long lines inside a bank because 1) they haven’t mastered the ATM machines yet and 2) they have bags of pennies, loose wads of dollar bills, and other assorted piddling sums they root out from under the mattress, or receive from working under the table, or tips from their long days slinging hash at the greasy spoon. So of course a transaction with the bank teller takes 15 minutes, minimum!

  46. Mela
    February 16th, 2010 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Still pulling for ya, Eduardo!

    A3G: Don’t go in there, man, you’ll be torn limb from limb!

    ReFOOB: Connie’s gone for the Grandma look.

    FW: “Of course, having bleated on about winning and victory celebration, we will now lose horribly and somehow, at least three of you will die. Now let’s do it!”

    Luann: Look, more anonymous guys for Luann to cocktease while Evans pretends that Gunther is likable!

    MT: If it’s bad weather, why are the mallards flying around instead of roosting to wait it out? I think they want the dude to die.

    MW: Worst idea for a porn movie… ever.

    Pluggers: Pluggers are those people who complain loudly about waiting even though they have absolutely nowhere to go.

    Zits: You’ll also need gear for ice-fishing, since you’ll be washing your car outside in the middle of winter.

    February 16th, 2010 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    I still miss Nancy and Sluggo.

  48. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    February 16th, 2010 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    bebeh ‘coon

    In response to today’s Lio: Cat in the Hat, yer doin it rong!!!

    The results of yesterday’s Wizard of Id.

    bb,u, back in the days when she went by “rum cutie, unclothed (PG-13, NSFW)

    (sorry, bb,u, but I’ve trying figure out a decent caption for the pic for several days now, just had to go there.)

  49. WilliamPorygon
    February 16th, 2010 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    H&L: Lois better call an exorcist for poor Trixie. Anybody who turns water an inky black by urinating in it has to be possessed by something evil.

  50. wossname
    February 16th, 2010 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    DT – Now wait a minute – I’m no explosives expert, but does putting a bomb under water automatically render it harmless?

    Luann – Who are all these studly, athletic guys we’ve never seen before? Why do we have to keep looking at Gunther and Elwood when these kids are available for viewing?

    OBH – win.

    A3G – Ooh, ooh, my spider-sense is tingling – possible high drama just ahead. What part of town is Margo’s gallery in?

    I’m completely convinced at this point that Martin is Bobbie’s husband and Shulock is just enjoying prolonging the suspense, knowing that we know (or think we know). And I’m going to be so pissed if we’re wrong and all the coincidences are just coincidences.

    JP – I don’t want to diss Heebink, and I agree he deserves his chance at it, but Abbey and Godiva just don’t look right. I miss Barreto.

    MT – Quack! Quack!! This is an emergency bulletin from the National Severe Weather Center. All flights coming to this area have been canceled due to severe weather over the city. This concludes the emergency notification. Quack! Quack!

    Everybody who pointed out that we would be seeing the name “Devil’s Pass” again, please take a bow.

    Fashion Police #14 – Gaaahhhh!! When I first looked at that panel, I thought LuAnn was painting Margo’s toenails. Brain bleach!

  51. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 16th, 2010 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    A3G: Nice try, Doris! But everyone knows that Margo never actually does any work at the gallery!

    MT: The sun comes up in the morning, and it sets at night. Summer inevitably passes into fall. There is death, and there are taxes. And if Elrod introduces the rapids at Devil’s Pass, Mark Trail will, without a doubt, run them.

    SM: Peter’s wife enjoys great professional success—and what does Peter think about? Whether Sabretooth will find him. It is, indeed, a Peter-centric world.

    MW: “Yes, while Kurt is here, I must spend even more time sitting at my computer. Um, where is the boy, anyway?”

    FC: Well, except for the Judgment of God. And Dolly, God hates a crappy skater.

  52. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    February 16th, 2010 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    @Mooncattie and not Elmer \ (#28):

    That’s not Sabretooth! That’s Helen Clark! And this time, It’s (hic) Personal!

    Oh, excellent! …. I was going to say that Helen Clark would be a formidable opponent for Spidey, but then I remembered that decaying brickwork is a formidable opponent for Spidey, so it’s not much of a compliment to Helen.

    @Mr. O’Malley (#39): Oh, I remember Zorba’s! But Linoleum Dicks is no more? Now what will inspire the sophomoric laughter of countless passersby?

    @Vince M (#42): Gosh, thanks!

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#48): I’ll just say this: fewer tattoos. ;-)

    @wossname (#50): re: MT—Hee! You know, in a world with no cell phones or computers, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Weather Service operates with Duck-Based Technology.

  53. Anonymous
    February 16th, 2010 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy is about to throw a Stradivarius worth millions of dollars into a swimming pool, because it’s heavier than he thinks a violin should be? He’s less “detective” and more “unstable paranoid schizophrenic.”

  54. Mordock999
    February 16th, 2010 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann 02/16/10

    So, Luann, you want Gunther, the Guy that YOU have BELITTLED, BERATED, and IGNORED for years, to design a ‘sexy’ costume to make YOU look good in front of the Guy You REALLY have a CRUSH on, Quill. Yeah, THAT seems fair.

    Hey, Gunther! How ’bout diggin’ out that WITCH costume you designed for Luann a while back.

    And make SURE it has a ‘Wardobe Malfunction’….,


    DEATH to TJ!!!

  55. Plim Sickens
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    OBH: Wait. Ruthie is saying her brother’s mojo is messed up? Does she mean as in witchcraft or sexual prowess? Either way, that boy is more precocious than we suspected!

  56. mr 12 oz can
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    mary worth – remember when dc had no ideas for batman they would show a outline of the batcave to waste a couple pages . i would like to see a outline of wilbers condo because with todays strip this has got to be the fourth computer room since the story started .i think kurt drank a bottle of wilbers nerve tonic and passed out under the murphy bed.

  57. TheDiva
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: Crankshaft making financial puns–I don’t think I can stand a week’s worth of this excitement.

    DT: Who needs a bomb squad? Just throw any suspicious items in water, it’s all good!

    Lio: Great comic, but a couple weeks later it would have been a nice tribute for the good Doc’s birthday.

    Luann: Can we just follow the guy in the baseball cap for the rest of this storyline? I’d really like to see him trading barbs with Knute’s shark hat.

    MW: Dawn: .oO(Oh no, he’s going to ask me to go fishing, isn’t he? I f*cking HATE fishing!)

  58. Muffaroo
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    AD – “Nobody showed up but Dick Cheney, and he left as soon as I explained what the sign meant. God, we’re topical!”

    Crankshaft – “In short, I’d eat a bowl of light bulbs if it gave me the opportunity to make another lame pun.”

    Dick – The guy’s paralyzed with ignorance. Put it in terms he can understand, Dick. “Okay, which-a-way be th’ cee-ment pond?”

    Family – Judge not, Dolly, lest ye be mudged.

    Gil – This strip has hit its peak as the optimum blend of incomprehensible writing and obscure art.

  59. Ed Dravecky
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    9CL: Oh no. Oh no no no. Wikipedia includes on the list of 9CL characters, “Burkhardt Kriegl – A violist from Vienna. Womanizer who has regularly pursued Edda and been rebuffed by her every time.” All this time I thought we were learning about Gran’s secret life when we’re really finding out that Brooke’s obsession with artsy Viennese men knows no bounds. Erk.

  60. Saluki
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Well I guess Tuesday’s Mark Trail puts to lie anything we thought about Congressional health care plans.

  61. Mibbitmaker
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#59): (Jaw drop, Tex Avery style!!)

    A3G: Hey! What about the storyline about the cheating husb– ohhh, yeaaah…..

    DtM: Nevermind that — which dimple?

    Curtis: Yeah, there’ll be no point to it, alright.

    DT: He wants to play “Will It Float?”

    Dilbert: At least Adams admits it.

    Doonesbury: Well, if one of the gentlemen is Treg Brown…

    Marvin: He studied under Mary Worth.

  62. Saluki
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Why do I get the feeling that the Rex Morgan storyline is moving toward these two starting a rock band. The Eurythlosers.

  63. Chip Whittle
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#53):

    Dick Tracy is about to throw a Stradivarius worth millions of dollars into a swimming pool, because it’s heavier than he thinks a violin should be? He’s less “detective” and more “unstable paranoid schizophrenic.”

    Yeah, it’s good to see Team Dick Tracy get back to the character’s fundamentals, isn’t it?

  64. Plim Sickens
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#61): Concerning DT: Bring in Grinder Girl! (Hold it! I’m not sure I want to see how she would be drawn in Dick Tracy.)

  65. Muffaroo
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Luann – Look: theater department members spotted! I understand what they’re doing now. It’s a re-creation of when they filmed the movie and took the leads away from the experienced Broadway actors who made the parts and shoehorned marketable faces into them, regardless of how appropriately they were cast, leaving the supporting players where they were. I suppose they’ll be dubbing Marni Nixon’s voice in for just about everybody.

    Phantom – Mirror, mirror, on the wall — now who’s the best drawn daily strip of all?

    (Fingers crossed, hoping for the best for Barretto, whether he returns to the strip or not.)

    Rhymes – By coincidence, the puppet I made with Sarah of the Pigeon from The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog is on display at her school now. (There will be a short movie of Sarah and the Pigeon on my flickr page, but it’s uploading verrrryyy sloooooo

  66. Muffaroo
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Slylock – Somehow I feel like I’m seeing a scene from a Loesser musical. A lesser Loesser musical.

    Spidey – “(If only I could stop clicking on this imaginary remote. My thumb’s tired.)”

    @wossname (#50): Now wait a minute – I’m no explosives expert, but does putting a bomb under water automatically render it harmless? Well, it certainly will render it unmusical. If it stops the demi-puns, it’s worth the loss of a priceless Strad.

    flickr upload update – Application quit unexpectedly. We may not get to see Sarah in action after all. Watch the skies!

  67. Perky Bird
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    When the Senator goes into cardiac arrest, we’ll get to witness Mark practice Lost Forest medicine, which involves rubbing two squirrels together furiously and then jump-starting the Senator’s heart with the resulting static.

  68. Artist formerly known as Ben
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:53 am [Reply]


    I just spent a few good minutes appreciating the funny COTWs, and now I’m ready to raise Cain.

    SFx: This is one frustrated pimp. And no wonder! His best ho and his hottest male hustler are lollygagging and reading the box scores over his shoulder. Get to work, bitchiz.

    A3G: Martin stopped by to take a look at his daughter’s business? That’s disgusting. It’s unnatural and wrong! I mean, society has its hangups but that one… Oh. You mean the place where Margo “works.” Well, that’s different.

    JP: I was so distracted by fill-in artist John Heebink drawing Godiva Danube as a yellowhaired Gloria Steinem, it took a minute to sink in that she had bought a horse without settling how she was going to get it back to her home state.

    Garfield: Hey man, if you start a petition to make Jim Davis start drawing backgrounds, I’ll sign it.

    Phantom: Oh right. She thinks the Phantom has been alive for centuries. So she figures that she can make him forget his allegedly dead wife, and then she can become Mrs Ghost-Who-Walks #527, eventually to be forgotten herself. Can’t beat that for romance.

    H&L: I guess that’s why she prefers bathing in the toilet.

    BC: Wow. I think this may be the first time the strip has made light of torture since Johnny died. You’re back, baby!

    MW: Dawn is obviously thinking, “Oh yeah. Dad could wind up spending more time with me. Maybe I should rethink this whole project.”

    FW: “By the time anyone noticed, the floor’s tumor had become inoperable.”

    C-Shaft: Okay ladies. There’s one of him, about ten of you, and he’s standing near the window. You know what to do.

    WofI: Not to start the whole “Ziggy” controversy again, but isn’t the wizard’s tunic awfully short for him not to be wearing pants. I’m guessing that what the king can see at his height is what’s really making his eyes bug out.

  69. commodorejohn
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#53): I thought we already knew that.

    Agnes – shows Crankshaft how it’s done.

    A3G – Doris!!! Margo hasn’t killed her! Yet!

    BBlue – Because one Elly Patterson wasn’t enough, apparently.

    BrS – Oh God, cut away! Cut away!

    Crankshaft – Crankshaft just wants to help the War Department slap a Jap. Someone should probably break it to him gently that the war is, in fact, over.

    Crock – You’d think that, with Cpt. Poulet being one of the most (probably the most) commonly-featured characters in the strip, they would at least know how to draw him consistently, as more than just a continuously-shifting collection of amorphous shapes. You would be wrong. Very, very wrong.

    DT – It’s nice to see that the embassy doesn’t discriminate against gorillas in its hiring.

    FC – I swear this one had to be written for misinterpreting.

    GT – Mimi, I think once you let the janitor take over your coaching duties, you’ve officially forfeited the right to reassert your coachiness.

    H&L – What is this, Fred Basset?

    JP – Suddenly Abbey and Godiva look like they’re 20. I could get used to this.

    Luann – Time for some more comics about Gunther getting ashamedly aroused by measuring Luann for clothes. Hooray.

    MT – Okay, Elrod. You just promised a whole lot, and you better deliver.

    MW – “Uh, no, that’s all right. Really. Spend all the time you want with him. Don’t mind me! Don’t mind me!

    Phantom – So…I don’t suppose there’s any chance of catching her on the rebound after he talks her down?

    RMMD – I love how we’re checking off every single item on the “So You Want To Write A Loser” list. He’s even got a wimpy little ‘stache, and we all know how synonymous that is with “loser.”

  70. Gold-Digging Nanny
    February 16th, 2010 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Luann: Speaking of costumes, Gunther appears to be a bow tie and a decade or two of male-pattern baldness away from becoming Mr. Fogerty. This is who you want to set Luann up with, Evans? You’re sicker than I thought.

  71. JupiterPluvius
    February 16th, 2010 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Good news about Barreto! I wish him a full recovery, whether he comes back to the Judge or not.

  72. Dave
    February 16th, 2010 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    Passing this on, in case any CC’ers want to send a note to Comics Editor of King Features about the art direction of Judge Parker.

    He is the person who will decide who replaces Eduardo Barreto, IF he cannot return to being the artist on Judge Parker.

    I would suggest sending him why we NEED an artist like Mr. Barreto, not what is being put out now.

    Brendan Burford, Comics Editor, King Features Syndicate:

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