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Your Grandfather of the Year, 2006

Gasoline Alley, 6/27/06

LOCAL TODDLER EATEN ALIVE BY BEARS

Grief counselors to help grandfather deal with the humiliation: ‘It’s important to help him feel good about himself again’

93 responses to “Your Grandfather of the Year, 2006”

  1. Woodstock
    June 27th, 2006 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    Grandpa can call Mary Worth since her buddy is fleeing the country. She can meddle in his grieving process until he gets convicted of passing himself off as a doctor and moves south to be with a fickle girlfriend who is kissing somebody else in an elevator.

  2. Dawn Weston
    June 27th, 2006 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    …and has a child who outsources her homework to India.

  3. lilybdcsa
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    “What’ll I do?” Did he ever think to chase the bear instead of standing around wondering if he was in trouble or not?

  4. Marc
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    MW: Cambodia Cleft Pallates! Such noble work, too! Yes, Jeff it is, but there is a more urgent Cleft Palatte case….Dudley Dooright in Canada. And you don’t have to go to the third world country!

  5. Benicillin
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:28 pm [Reply]

    Hell, you name a kid “Boog,” you might as well feed the kid to some bears.

  6. Preacher Feature
    June 27th, 2006 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

    That’s a helluva bear if he can carry away Boog Powell.

  7. edward
    June 28th, 2006 at 12:00 am [Reply]

    You’d think the kid had a better chance at life being raised by bears than by those blank-eyed hicks. Grampa seems to be supplementing his Social Security by being a walking billboard for his own comic strip…or maybe the GA is just a coincidence. Gambler’s Anonymous? If so, I hope he bet big on “Grandchild Eaten by Bears” down at the bookies.

  8. Teague
    June 28th, 2006 at 1:02 am [Reply]

    Now Grandpa is gonna go down to the orphanage and pick up a new kid that looks enough like Boog to fool everyone just like the time he accidently killed the family dog.

    Wackiness Shall Ensue!

  9. Josh R.
    June 28th, 2006 at 1:27 am [Reply]

    I don’t see what Slim is so worked up about. Everybody knows Boog will be fine. After all, Gasoline Alley is the land that death forgot. Nobody dies there. Ever.

    At least not until they have lived long enough to give us a couple hundred poems about Thanksgiving and the Sunday funny pages.

  10. Dub Not Dubya
    June 28th, 2006 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    Jeff is so lying to Mary. He’ll be coming back from abroad as Joan. Perhaps Rex and Troy will assist with the surgery.

  11. jonnya
    June 28th, 2006 at 2:01 am [Reply]

  12. Mibbitmaker
    June 28th, 2006 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    Gramps, that’s such a George Costanza thing to do… or not do, as the case may be.

  13. Mibbitmaker
    June 28th, 2006 at 2:47 am [Reply]

    6/28:

    FC: He’d be better spending his time blogging about the dopier comic strips in the paper.

    FOOB: I’ve been wanting to call Lynn Johnston something for a while now. As to what Jesse wants to call Liz, I think a quote from the evil Barbara Bush applies: “Rhymes with rich”…

    Non Sequitur: Yeah, Wiley, and I suppose keeping al-Zarqawi alive and in charge of al-Qaida in Iraq would be so much more likely to weaken the insurgency there.

    Spiderman: Once again, Peter’s supporting his wife’s career is startlingly short-lived. Obviously, the jealousy has a new lease on life already.

    (DT)GT: I much prefer the Classic Peanuts 1993′s baseball game to this one.

    A3G: Margo, you do remember hitting a dog with your car, right? (That’d make an interesting plotline, btw) Or maybe the Spanish Inquisition (I’ll bet nobody expected that!)? I’ll bet that was more fun than the “great party”, Margo.

    Blondie: That’s not a comic strip; that’s a DVD commentary of a comic strip. The guy playing Mr. Dithers is SUCH a ham.

    MG&G: I watch alot of TV, yet if someone says there’s a pretty sunset out the window, I go to the window. Game, set and match, anti-TV watching straw man (or straw dog?).

    Dilbert: Yeah, you should’ve seen Oprah beat up an old lady in “Six Chix”. Liz Patterson gave her a rating of 3 & 1/2 cheatin’ boyfriends. Ms. Winfrey fights by Marquis of Queen-of-the-world Rules.

  14. Marion Delgado
    June 28th, 2006 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    Remember his own autistic wife, clovis or ella or whatever the hell she’ll almost answer to, was raised by bears. and not just any bears. “Scooter Libby” bears. I won’t explain, children may read this blog. Anyhow the whole experience led to her simply staring ahead in a catatonic way, her only contact with reality a cat that rode perennially perched on her shoulder, periodically exposing her right breast, which, her being a “dummy” and all, was doubly sexy in a Gasoline Alley sort of way. Gasoline Babylon! Peyton Alley!

  15. Len
    June 28th, 2006 at 4:37 am [Reply]

    In Rudy Park, Rudy’s ex-girlfriend Darlene gets married. Darlene’s last name is Desai (she’s ethnically Indian from South Asia) — I like that her wedding gown is a variation of a traditional saree!

    http://www.comics.com/comics/rudypark/archive/rudypark-20060626.html

    She married Rudy’s monkey (as a stand-in for her betrothed). Slightly more appealing than Judge Parker’s Raju! Spank that monkey, Darlene!

  16. tefflan
    June 28th, 2006 at 5:23 am [Reply]

    Drill Sergeant: “Your name, maggot!”
    Boog: “Boog!”
    Drill Sergeant: “I want your FULL name, idiot!”
    Boog: “Booooooogerrrr!”

  17. Sheila
    June 28th, 2006 at 5:43 am [Reply]

    Marion Delgado, you’re confusing two characters. The blank-eyed, shoulderstrap-slipping, cat-riding gal is Rufus’ girlfriend. Slim’s wife is Clovia. Equally blank-eyed but without other quirks.

    As always, I hate that I know that.

  18. Frank Drackman
    June 28th, 2006 at 6:02 am [Reply]

    I want to see Dr. Jeff in some dark dank Cambodian prison after customs catches him trying to smuggle out 2 K’s of China White on his return trip, they could tie it in with the Meth Head Hippy, and Mary making a trip to Pnom Pehn to visit Jeff in prison, she could even press her Bosum up to the glass like in “Midnight Express”

  19. Ugly Kidd
    June 28th, 2006 at 6:10 am [Reply]

    Wait, so Slim is the winner of the Finger Margo Quote-off? Wow, that’s unexpected. Did he submit a photoshopped pic, ’cause I don’t remember one looking like him.

  20. GotFuzzy
    June 28th, 2006 at 6:33 am [Reply]

    Stephen Colbert is right–bears are our greatest threat.

    (DT)GT: Ohhhh, what are the chances that there will be a play at the plate, and then Jimmy will knock the ball out of his brother’s glove, and the Mudlarks go on to win, and everyone learns an important lesson? Maybe Marty Moon will go supernova again.

    Foob: Nice to see that Lizardbreath pulled her nicest shapeless, oddly patterned dress out of the packing box for her big going-away party. Since she is leaving there soon, here is my tribute to her time in the North of the Great White North, with many, many apologies to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (only a couple of the stanzas–that thing goes on forever!):

    To the town of Mtig-a-loogi
    Way up north in Canada, eh,
    Came a lard-ass named Lizardbreath,
    Daughter of a foob, Lizardbreath.
    Dark behind her loomed Granthony,
    Loomed the sad and gloomy Granthony,
    Loomed he did with ‘stache upon lip.
    Bright before her is flyboy Warren,
    Plus the smokey Paul Doo-Wright,
    And First Nation jail-bait Jesse.

    There the wretched foob Lizardbreath
    Nursed her mixed-up roadside feelings.
    Does she want a cop or pilot?
    Work a joystick or mount a mountie?
    Surely stay away from juvie Jesse.
    Stills her fretful mind by saying,
    “Hmmmm, Granthony yet waits for me.”
    Lulled thus into slumber, dreaming,
    “Ewa-yea! I am a fooblet!
    Who is this that pitched a wigwam?
    With cinnamon flecks upon his chin?
    Ewa-yeah! I am a fooblet!”

  21. tefflan
    June 28th, 2006 at 7:29 am [Reply]

    I don’t care WHAT grandpa’s shirt says. He is not from Georgia. People in Georgia would chase the bear and cut open its stomach to get little Boog out if they had to.

  22. roydrink
    June 28th, 2006 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp – Who is that goatee guy? For the second day in a row, I had to carefully reread his broadcast to see if it was as obscene as I thought at first glance. Is it the dialogue? The lettering? My warped mind? The thing on his head? What?

    As boring as baseball is, I think I’d get a perverse pleasure attending a Milford game… as long as I sat near the broadcast booth.

  23. BassoGap
    June 28th, 2006 at 7:35 am [Reply]

    (DT)GT — Whew…good thing Jimmy Pearse landed on that pile of wool next to 3B. What’s that? It’s the dust from his slide? Uh…no, it’s not. And wtf is the umpire doing on the infield side of the base?

    Meanwhile, in Mtiwannahawkaloogie — Jesse had dream about Miss Patterson, and it made him happy? And now he has a new name for her? I bet it rhymes with “Mary Kay LeTourneau”…

  24. TheMagicMel
    June 28th, 2006 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    GotFuzzy, I was thinking the same thing: Liz dove back into a box to find this frumpy polka-dotted frock? Why not just go with a muu-muu? I’m sure the alcoholic locals wouldn’t mind, just so long as it’s worn with proper black socks & white sandals.

  25. roydrink
    June 28th, 2006 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    Pibgorn – Cliff Notes were never this interesting! I would have done much better in English Lit. …

  26. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    June 28th, 2006 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    Those bears don’t match. Is one a black bear and the other a grizzly?

  27. =dan=
    June 28th, 2006 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    That’s the happiest damn bear i’ve ever seen.

    I’m a TV newscast producer, who works in a market where not too long ago (April) we had a situation exactly like this in our neck of the woods. A bear mauled a 2-year-old boy, and his mother tried to fight off the bear. Both were critically injured but survived, but the young boy’s six-year-old sister ran off in the woods where the bear attacked and killed her (some of you may remember the story, it had major coverage for about a half a week).

    I’m wondering how far in advance Scanarelli plots out these strips. Because if the answer is “two months,” I’d say he’s a sick man to turn such a horrible story into a GA plotline.

  28. mdrew
    June 28th, 2006 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    #15 – But what you want to be is a desi in a sari.

  29. Gracie287
    June 28th, 2006 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Today’s A3G:
    Classic Margo, managing to rub both her roommates’ problems in their faces.

    …Actually, it does sound like a pretty good party. I wonder if she managed to “catch” anything. Will we be seeing ol’ hairflap in a pink bathrobe?

  30. Gracie287
    June 28th, 2006 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    In today’s Non Sequitur, what is that ginormous tidal wave about to crash onto the podium?

  31. Irina
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    roydrink – LOL!

    I hadn’t thought of it in terms of cliffs notes (then again, it wouldn’t really be cliffs notes — Brooke seems to be doing the play in full).

    Nonetheless, it’d be interesting, if (a) at the end of the year, the completed story arc were to be collected into graphic novel form; and (b) made available to either retail outlets for Pib/Bard fans and/or available to high schools/colleges for an alternate twist for students studying MSND.

    Like roydrink, this might have given me a very different perspective on enjoying MSND. I’m a fan of several of old will’s plays, but Midsummer wasn’t one of them.

    er. Until now *blush* …

  32. dlauthor
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    GF: Best line happens in the first panel. “Ohhh, no, no. Whiskey is not for Kitty” is marvelous. I also love the whole rendering of Bucky in that panel — not to mention the loving rendition of the Jameson bottle.

    Spidey: Poor Peter. He wants to get laid so badly that he actually crosses comic labels and briefly turns into the Joker. And what does his harridan of a wife do? Tell him he owns a convertible now. The shrew!

    What do you want to bet that Narna fixes the brakes on that thing before … well, I was going to say before the end of July, but at the speed this strip moves, it’s safer saying before the end of 2008.

    Pluggers: The weird thing is, that’s neither his chair nor his house. You can tell, because a “Plugger chair” is actually made of cinder blocks, old pizza boxes, and spite.

    Mallard: Yeah, that’s it, you crusader, you. That’s why you bring up Chappaquiddick every chance you get; because none of us have heard of it before.

    Foob: My guesses for Lizard’s new Mtigtagtoe name: 1. Backside Like Moose; 2. She-Who-Touched-Jesse-There; 3. Child Who Wears Grandma’s Dress. I shudder at the “lessons” we’re about to learn over the next few days.

    TDIET: I’d like, like, like to think that today’s panel is meant to be self-deprecating, but it’s like Mallard: it could be about how ice cream tastes good, and all the bad juju the strip’s acquired over many, many years would make me (a) want to dispute it; and (b) angry. There’s some part of me that thinks that, even if the person who submitted today’s idea didn’t mean it to be bitter, the cartoonist’s “style” cannot help but change the message from “I should have given her more credit” into “how DARE that harlot bring me food?”

  33. BassoGap
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Gracie287 (#30) — that’s the walls/ceiling of the cave in which they’re having the debate.

    Or, an unintentional metaphor for being buried by political squabbling, maybe?

  34. johnw
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Oh, that’s such a happy-looking bear in “Gasoline Alley.” No way it’s going to eat the baby; it’s more likely to share a pic-a-nic basket with him.

    If that was a real bear with any sense, it would have dragged off the big fat guy — who obviously couldn’t put up much of a fight, and would feed an ursine family for weeks.

  35. cheech wizard
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    FOOB – Jessie’s spirt name for Liz will be “Miki Nini” or “Little Porcupine.”

    “Why’s that, Jessie?”

    “Cause that’s what my mom says you’d look like if you had as many coming out as you’ve had going in.”

  36. Bitter Scribe
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    #9: The land that death forgot? Hell, it’s the land where the Fountain of Youth is connected to the municipal water system. I defy anyone to go back umpteen years ago to when Slim first married Clovia and tell me the difference between how he looks then and now.

  37. Todd L
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    BB: Putting aside the buxley-photo fan’s big feet, which is hard enough, is he wearing a diaper or is it one of those mid-section wraps gandhi was occasionally in?

  38. Dark Star
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    “Maybe the dingo ate your baby.”

  39. ComicsFan
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    (DT) GT: panel 3 has a cameo by Bobby from “King of the Hill”.

  40. Mic
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    Attention must be paid to the desperate drug addict Bucky in the last panel of today’s Get Fuzzy.

    “AND THEN HE TOOK ALL MY CATNIP AWAY!”

    Priceless.

  41. MossMoses
    June 28th, 2006 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    The dream was especially meaningful for Jesse because it marked his ascendence into adolescence and it was his first nocturnal jizz squirt. That inspired the “Lizard Who Swallows” spirit name.

  42. mf
    June 28th, 2006 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    I like how grandpa’s biggest worry right now seems to be, “What am I going to do? I really don’t want to go back and fess up to being senile.”

    I like to think that Boog will be saved by Grandpa not because he has any sort of desire to save anyone or anything but rather because of his shame of growing old and useless.

  43. Widdle Jeffy
    June 28th, 2006 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Billy is in the house blogging.

    Yeah right.

    He is in there updating his myspace account so that he can attract some more “big brothers” to go out to the movies with.

  44. SNF
    June 28th, 2006 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    I feel sorry for the bears, not for Boog. The latter is clearly some sort of horrific devilspawn. He’s precociously agile, and look at those black, soul-devouring eyes!

    I don’t care what kind of drawing style is being used, that’s really creepy.

  45. Justafoob
    June 28th, 2006 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Jesse is going to name her

    bigasswhitewomanwhocomewithpromisesthatshebreakaftershehaveherwaywithme

    or the English version of that

    foob

  46. sa-rin
    June 28th, 2006 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    I hope the bears don’t try to raise the kid/treat him as one,
    or get him to help them with anything that mirrors other story plots :O
    So, to unjinx that, now they .. hmm.
    At least foobs aren’t moobs.

  47. Dennis Jimenez
    June 28th, 2006 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    6.28.2006 – A3G – If only Margo could get a job at a juvenile cancer hospice. She could be floating around on cloud nine all day, every day.

  48. fuzzmaster
    June 28th, 2006 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    FBofW: I swear, if the authentic Native Canadian name that Jesse comes up with for Lizardbreath is “TILF,” cornflakes will be spit tomorrow morning.

  49. Austin
    June 28th, 2006 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    FC: Dolly says, “Billy’s our advertising manager. He’s in the house blogging about our business.”

    That seems to be an awfully well-put-together sentence full of big, polysyllabic words from the same little girl who butchered Mary had a little lamb, Sudoku, and the pledge of allegiance, not once, but twice.

    Did Mrs. Clarke actually teach her something in school?

  50. Maughta
    June 28th, 2006 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    Is there a new artist and/or colorist at A3G? Or has Margo just gone gray all of a sudden?

  51. Meggie
    June 28th, 2006 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Maybe if he followed the bear….?

    Whoah! Maybe that’s it! Doesn’t take an idiot to figure out!

  52. gampo
    June 28th, 2006 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    GF: Whiskey Kitty – great line, but I was a little surprised at the anti-drug shift in tone- I was under the impression (starting from the name) that Pinkie had a bong somewhere around the apt. And wouldnt his guys know about this?

  53. Anonymous
    June 28th, 2006 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    Does anyone read anyone else’s comments?

  54. MaryAnnTheRest
    June 28th, 2006 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    GF: I dunno about a bong, but I can’t picture Rob as having the good taste to own a bottle of the 12 year old Jameson. He’s more the Scandinavian vodka type. Or maybe Captain Morgans.

    A3G: I love you, Margo. But show, don’t tell! I wanted to see the drunken monologue! Unless Margo’s making the whole thing up, which would be awesome.

  55. Librarian of Congress
    June 28th, 2006 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Does anyone read anyone else’s comments?

    no

  56. MossMoses
    June 28th, 2006 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    I read every comic in the Washington Post every day, and I read every comment in this blog every day. I also wash my hands obsessive/compulsively hundreds of times each day…

  57. bootsybooks
    June 28th, 2006 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Foob: Band Council?? BAND Council? WTF?! This dinner’s so big the band council will be there. Must make the band director in Funky wet his pants.

    (DT)GT: You’re on first in a clutch situation, batter hits a double, a double mind you, and all you mange to do is tag up at third? You need to be plowing into the catcher on that play, scoring a run so the devil in the broadcast booth can spurt flames from his head again.

    Phantom: He once sicced his wolf on you in a hotel, remember? A hotel! Love it.

    More about bear kidnapping can be found on the internet.

  58. JRM
    June 28th, 2006 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    57: Band council just means tribal council, as in the Mtgwhatever Band of Ojibwe.

  59. BassoGap
    June 28th, 2006 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    Bootsy (#57) — Pearse is tagging up at 3B on the *next* play, the long fly ball…as soon as it’s caught (or not), he’ll race for Home. But yes, my first thought was “What’s he doing tagging up at 3B? He should be sitting in the dugout, and the score should be tied.”

    Oh, and that’d allow Rapdog to be tagging up at 2B, racing home for the go-ahead run when the outfielder loses the fly ball in the sun.

    But all of that would require a real understanding of how baseball works, and that’s just too high a standard for (DT)GT, I think.

  60. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    June 28th, 2006 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    “Bear Kidnapping” would be a good name for a band.

    Information on what would be good names for bands can be found on the internet

    “Band Council” would be a good name for a band…council.

  61. tefflan
    June 28th, 2006 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    #55 Librarian of Congress: No, I don’t think so. There are many times that one person will virtually duplicate the comment of another person, or someone will ask a question and no one will even attempt to answer it. And this is with 50 comments in the blog. Go figure.

  62. David
    June 28th, 2006 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    24. – I’m sorry, Mel, but I have to call racist bullshit on you. Someone who’s recently watched a documentary on the Klan should be more aware of the dangers of such careless stereotyping.

  63. Dji
    June 28th, 2006 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    #50: She’s gone grey from the stress of waiting to hear which finger-quotin’ doppelganger will win the contest.

    As have we all.

  64. Wayne
    June 28th, 2006 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    #53 Yes

  65. King Folderol
    June 28th, 2006 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    FC – I dont’ get the use of the term blogging here. Usually, a blog isn’t about a specific product or service, but is idea-oriented. The money from blogs doesn’t really come from the content but from the ads that people are willing to pay for since the content is so good. I don’t know why Billy would think that anyone would want to read a blog about how great Dolly’s gutter-runoff lemonade was, though things seem pretty sad and boring in the Keane house, so maybe the trite idea of Dolly selling lemonade is the most exciting thing that has happened to the Keanes since they saw Jesus’s visage in the toilet.

  66. Wayne
    June 28th, 2006 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    #59 (DT)GT I’ve heard announcers say Deep Right Field or Shallow Right Field, but in all my years of listening to baseball I’ve never heard the term Medium Right Field. Maybe we’ll get an epic collision at the plate.

  67. treadwell
    June 28th, 2006 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    Billy’s lemonade marketing blog can be found on the internet.

  68. MossMoses
    June 28th, 2006 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Is self congratulatory back patting allowed on this blog? I correctly predicted Doc Jeff’s SE Asian destination the first day he started packing and talking to Mary Worth’s picture. We’ll see if the sex tour part of the prediction pans out. Many readers seem to think the good doctor is a pederast. It may well be that he has been trolling for trouser trout on the bumboat for so long that he’s lost all carnal interest in that meddling old busy body hag.

  69. Bear Kidnapper
    June 28th, 2006 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    Is the wounded bear Mark Trail is following the same bear that snatched Boog? Cuz that would make for a cooool confluence of events.

  70. Chris
    June 28th, 2006 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    In Gil Thorp today, is that grimacing fan behind Marty in the lefthand side of the panel Bobby Hill?

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2006/6/28&name=Gil_Thorp

  71. Krazy Kat
    June 28th, 2006 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    #55 Librarian of Congress: I don’t think they do. Sometimes one person will virtually duplicate the comment of another person, or someone will ask a question and it will remain unanswered. And after only 50 comments. Eh?

    /sorry-had to do it

  72. Bill Peschel
    June 28th, 2006 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    You know, “It may well be that he has been trolling for trouser trout on the bumboat for so long that he’s lost all carnal interest in that meddling old busy body hag” would make a great band name.

    Or maybe not.

  73. Bill Peschel
    June 28th, 2006 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Truth be told, there are only 3 or 4 contributors. The rest are contributed by a computer that spits out phrases at random like “LOL”, “BARK BARK BARK,” “trouser trout”, and “Mallard Fillmore sucks”.

    Once the last few bugs are worked out, Josh’ll sell it to bloggers who want to give the impression that more than their mothers and shut-ins who read Parade Magazine read their blogs.

    More about [INSERT CATCHPHRASE HERE] can be found on the Internet.

  74. BigJoe
    June 28th, 2006 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    In the interest of full disclosure it should be noted that Bill Peschel is the commercial name for a little known automated blog comment generator. BigJoe is a more impressive competing automated comment generator.

  75. MossMoses
    June 28th, 2006 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    73. Harsh, Bill. Could you list the elite “3 or 4 contributors”?

  76. Sylko
    June 28th, 2006 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    Seems a bit insensitive after that little boy was killed and eaten by a bear recently (maybe it was a girl).

    TDIET: OMG. I never heard of this comic strip before this site mentioned it. Then previous commenters talked about it, too, so I went and read the last two weeks. Never has a comic strip made me want to kill myself like that one. Poorly drawn, for one. Second, who wrote these complaints? The shopkeeper and shopper praise the “nice and neat” jeans being well priced, and the ripped up jeans being expensive. Wasn’t that a complaint, like TWENTY YEARS AGO? someone please kill that strip!

  77. cheech wizard
    June 28th, 2006 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    76 – No, it wasn’t a girl – it was a bear.

  78. GotFuzzy
    June 28th, 2006 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    Now Bill, I don’t think there are too many instances of “LOL” here. It seems most of us indicate laughter by talking about spewing coffee or other beverages on monitors/keyboards.

    I do read the comments, and I am reminded that I should not just bash the comics that drive me nuts (yeah, I’m talking to you, (DT)GT) but should also praise the ones that stand out. Today’s Get Fuzzy, with Bucky hanging on to the bottle of Jameson’s and then his look of desperation in the last panel, made me LOL.

    BARK BARK BARK!

    More information about Jameson’s can be found on the Internet.

    booger

  79. Billy
    June 28th, 2006 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Hey have you heard about my family’s lemonade? I enjoy blogging about how super great it is. I’m sure that everyone who reads my lemonade blog also lives in my neighborhood,
    so stop on by!

    123 Fake St.
    Springfield, USA 12345

  80. treedweller
    June 28th, 2006 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

    No, that’s Bobby Hill’s older cousin by the Japanese son of Cotton. Or it’s Bobby 7 years into the future.

  81. Ferd Berfel
    June 28th, 2006 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    9CL – My guess? Brooke is on vacation. He inked all these Thorax strips in the spring and the syndicate is running them whilst he works on his tan somewhere. Recharge those batteries, sonny, we’ll expect plots that move when you get back.

    A3G – Gotta love Margo! She just ate up all that tension and misery at the gallery opening. I’ll be she gets front row seats for bus plunges, train wrecks, and TDIET too.

    DT – Plan A and Plan B? Well, if they’re anything like the car wreck, we’ll get to see them sometime around Columbus Day.

    FBOW – Yes, Lizzie, that’s right. The Fugawi tribe is going to name you in a ceremony dating back to at least the 1970s when they ‘rediscovered’ most of their culture in order to qualify for pity payments from the Feds. By the way, what’s Injun for “Should have closed your living room blinds while your were giving Tonto Doo-Wright a reach around”? It’s either going to be that or “Lardass”.

    GF – Whiskey is not for kitty I’m going to use that repeatedly in everyday conversations from now on.

    (DT)GT – Okay, I’ll admit it. Today’s cliffhanger actually has me looking forward to tomorrow’s strip. Looking forward in a good way too and not in the usual “Let’s see what the marmosets inked this time”.

    JP – In a break from Raju the Oompha Loompah, Judge Parker is retiring and wants Randy to run for his seat! WOW! Not only are we seeing Judge Parker for the first time since the Ford Administration, they’re also moving him out of the strip. First art that let’s you actually tell the charaecters apart and now this. New brooms do sweep clean.

    MT – Hmmm… Clueless campers cooking breakfast, a surly bear with an arrow sticking out of it’s ass, Mark within binocular distance, and no Andy? This isn’t going to end very well. Andy can fight off sharks and alligators, maybe land critters aren’t his forte? Does anyone else think the blonde camper looks like one of Whitley Strieber’s aliens?

    Monty – Has anyone else found the depiction of man-boobs in this strip over the last two weeks ‘cringe worthy’?

    MW – While these cleft palate missions to poor countries are wonderful charitable endeavors, why do I have a bad feeling that this new Mary Worth story arc is going to make us wish no one had ever thought of the idea? With Dr. Jeff gone I’m betting on a new man stumbling into Mary’s frigid life. Will he take her places other than the ‘Bum Boat’? Will he wear electric green slacks? Will he succumb to blue balls too?

    RMMD – Grab you popcorn and your candy-coated snacks people! We’re in for a good week of pure feisty fighting female smackdown! Chesty McCheesey vs. Skanky Irrelevant should be one for the ages. In the labonza, Chesty, give her a good one in the labonza…

    SF – So I guess we’re not going to get back to Ralph and the office until after summer vacation?

  82. roydrink
    June 28th, 2006 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    Do you think #67 is kidding?
    (Billy’s lemonade marketing blog can be found on the internet.) See:

    http://www.lawrence.com/blogs/averill/2006/apr/21/billyanderson/

    That’s just part 1…

  83. Dr. Laura
    June 28th, 2006 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

    So “Doc Jeff” is going to be gone for a minimum of three months? Judging from the glacial pace this strip has historically taken, most of us won’t be seeing him again in our lifetimes. Buh-bye!

  84. tefflan
    June 28th, 2006 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    #71 No problem.

    An airplane full of passengers was about to crash. A woman jumped up and, tearing off her clothes, said, “I know we’re about to die. Is there anyone here who can really make me feel like a woman?”

    A guy tore off his shirt and said, “Here, iron this.”

  85. Schteve
    June 28th, 2006 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    A3G

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060628&name=Apartment_3-G

    One hell of a party if it made Margo prematurely grey.

    Or is that mansack residue?

  86. dimestore lipstick
    June 28th, 2006 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    Ferd Berfel :
    “GF – Whiskey is not for kitty I’m going to use that repeatedly in everyday conversations from now on.”

    It works particularly well if you do it in an over-the-top, Charlton Heston sort of voice.

  87. Scumbaggioni
    June 28th, 2006 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    #81: God, I had completely forgotten about Ralph and his threats of retribution. Kinda got distracted by Ted’s voluntary dive into his own eunuch-loser status, and his disturbing, ever-burgeoning, background-lurking obsession with Faye.

    …Wouldn’t it just be awesome if Ted did something stupid and got himself permanently removed from the strip and dragged off to jail? Soap operas and superhero comics do it all the time. The moment has come for strips to make the great leap. Do it! JAIL TED FORTH!!

    #76: You’re absolutely right. Black bear. Six-year-old girl, April 14th, mauling the mother and a two-year-old boy to boot.

    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/04/14/national/main1498833.shtml

    It’s stupid enough to feed us this “happy-fuzzy-teddy” malarkey that even the characters involved aren’t taking seriously. Bears don’t “kidnap” other animals; they EAT them. Even Disney movies (“Brother Bear”) don’t treat wild animals this flippantly. (“South Park” has done exactly that, but they’re selfish creeps who would be delighted to the point of release if a child got mauled imitating their show.)

    But to play this sort of story so soon after a genuine tragedy–you know these things are plotted in advance, so this strip was being planned AROUND THE SAME TIME THE ACTUAL ATTACK OCCURRED–well, let’s just say if the asses behind “Gasoline Alley” got mauled by an animal, I would probably be delighted to the point of release myself by the justice of it.

    I’m going to watch my “Grizzly” DVD now just to feel cleaner. “Grizzly Man?” …Maybe not.

  88. For shizzle, maybe some nizzle
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    No, the last thing most mothers say to babysitting family members is usually “Please make sure my son get hurt while i’m gone.”

    BTW, the mother bear looks really pleased with herself. For once, an animal with no fur, no horns, and no fishy smell. Rad!

  89. yellojkt
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone read anyone else’s comments?

    Only the funny ones. And I can’t believe it took 69 comments until someone connected Gasoline Alley with Mark Trail.
    Potential Comic Mash-Up Gold.
    I’ll leave it to the people with real Photoshop skilz.

  90. Ferd Berfel
    June 28th, 2006 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    Dimestore Lipstick – Great suggestion! I had been leaning towards a Kirk Douglas/Spartacus style reading: Whiskey is NOT for Kitty!!! I think if I dimple my chin with my pinkie finger while emoting it may just work.

    Then again, my co-workers could simply turn the fire hose on me too…

  91. Ferd Berfel
    June 28th, 2006 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    Scumbaggioni – We’ve all forgotten Ralph. Sad isn’t it?

    Here’s the only character in the strip who stands up to the Bitch Queen with her skewed view of the world at large from the Forth Bunker and we haven’t seen him in months. We sat through weeks of the Bitch-Bot displaying her soi disant human side while she put on a master’s class in passive-aggresive manipulation. While cuddling with the Corrosive Cactus in their S&M dungeon, Ted “I don’t need to register as a sex offender, honest” Forth soothed the Icicle Queen’s mental chillblains by buying into his wife’s many diseases concerning Ralph. But did we get to see the payoff? Perish the thought!

    We’ve been treated everything BUT the office showdown. We’ve had weeks of one-liners regarding vacation adventure planning, complete with the inkers’ loom phobia regarding Williamsburg and Plimouth Plantations. We’ve had a neighborhood BBQ that fizzled instead of sizzled. We’ve had Hil and her future lover arguing over the role of sports in adolescents’ lives. We’ve even had a team coached by Ted “Doormat” Forth produce a winning streak.

    But have we had Ralph? Sadly, no.

  92. Dub Not Dubya
    June 28th, 2006 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    11 jonnya, great stuff! Keep up the good work. Sorry to weigh in so late but figured you’d like to know it was appreciated.

  93. Night-Gaunt
    May 19th, 2013 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    Boog the mutant boy. Flinty black eyes, calmness unheard of. Communicate with bears and designing a type of steam engine that uses microwaves. I want that kid to have his own strip. I’d want to write for it. “Adventures of Boog the Weird Boy”

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