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Later, Clumsy would get to actual Britain, only to be horrified by the weather

Mark Trail, 5/14/10

Even I’m not so heartless as to crack wise about sassy getting hit by a car yesterday. However, now that we know Sassy is STILL ALIVE and about to be taken to the vet by this overalled hero, I do want to hold up for derision Mark’s increasingly callous dismissals of Rusty’s wholly justifiable fears. Could this storyline finally reveal Mark as the unfeeling monster that he is? “Relax, Rusty, she’s probably trying to dig that old rabbit out of a hole! Or digging her own grave, because she’s going to die soon, alone and in pain! One of the two. Ha ha, this horse has a soft nose!”

B.C., 5/14/10

This might seem hard to understand in the setting of the strip, but remember that this is caveman times, and the tiny band of eight or so human characters we see in the strip are the only representatives of H. sapiens on the planet. Britain hasn’t even been invented yet, so pretty much all you have to do to create it is write “British pub” on a rock.

Luann, 5/14/10

“Come on, you don’t plan a thing like that! You just push down obsessive, intrusive thoughts about it and swear to yourself and everyone else that you’ll never do it, until you finally just let yourself get carried away in the moment and do it without protection with someone you’re not really comfortable with! It’s like you don’t know anything about how sex works, Tiffany!”

360 responses to “Later, Clumsy would get to actual Britain, only to be horrified by the weather”

  1. Baka Gaijin
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth: Ted’s eyeliner is fetching in the last panel. He looks like a skinny Bonnie Johnson.

    One Big Happy: How about getting that Buggy Crispino look?

    Cathy: After reading that, normal people with asses the size of yours who want to lose weight would simply eat half of what they get served, not expect their spouses to leave a chalk mark as they hug their ways around their equators.

    Apartment 3-G: Luann has balls? Whodathunkit.

    Cow and Boy: SLAP!

    Rose is Rose: Serves ya right you disgusting garbage-eating furball.

    Zits: Speaking of Mount Stinky. Oh, and there are clothes on the floor, too.

    Marvin: I don’t wanna know.

  2. Écureuil Écumant
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    9CL: The American part of me says, “DP”.

  3. commodorejohn
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (Y291): “Mad as a French shoemaker.” I like it!

    So what I learned from this thread is that I, at least where puppies are concerned, am more heartless than Josh. Because God damn was that hilarious.

  4. towels
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    I know the front view close-ups of Rusty’s face have been nightmare-inducing, but I have to say today’s sideview is equally disturbing

  5. 150
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    I read this site in a narrow browser, so I thought the B.C. punchline was going to be, “For the right price, I can make you a bloody pulp.” This being B.C., I naturally thought in reply: “Heck, I’d do it for free!”

  6. Baka Gaijin
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Reposted from the end of yesterthread:

    @bats :[ (#Y275): I was sure Bonnie Johnson was going to “do a Sassy” before she got saved at the Altar of Meddle today.

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#Y282): “he’d slash open your throat with his claws and leave you to bleed out all over the red faux-velvet while he texted tweeted, ‘u wudnt belive this jerk next 2 me.’” Fixed that for you, babe. A year from now we’d have to somehow wedge an iPad in there, the cutting edge technology cartoonists will wedge into their hoary old jokes.

    @Sequitur (#Y287): If Sassy or a giant beaver or Spruce Goose-sized goose ate a clown, yes, I’d be there. A clown eating Sassy, not so much. A clown eating Margo, hmm, I’d have to think about that.

  7. Krazy Kat
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Sassy is about to be taken to the vet… by a man with SIDEBURNS!! All is not well in the Trailiverse. It was nice knowing you, Sass.

  8. The TJ
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Rusty will look for Sassy and run into the kind man who’s taking care of her. Once he understands how cruel Mark can be he resolves to never return, choosing instead to roam the countryside foraging for food and growing a beard to hide his hidiousness.
    Meanwhile, Mark will reasure himself that Rusty will be right back, that he’s probably “Just digging a hole or something…”

  9. fillmoreeast
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Elapsed time between Johnny Hart shuffling off his mortal coil and Clumsy (WHY DO I KNOW HIS NAME?) overtly setting up shop as a gay prostitute: three years and change. Somewhere, the neuron cluster in Glenn Beck’s brain responsible for composing crazed chalkboard flowcharts just went “ping!”

  10. BigTed
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    Considering that this “British pub” has no chairs, tables, glasses, or alcohol, it might be a little too much to expect that there could be some tomato juice, Tabasco sauce and celery seed hidden under that rock somewhere.

  11. Thomas B.
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    I think Elrod just gave up on trying to draw Rusty and Sassy. He crushed Sassy yesterday and today he continues hiding Rusty behind things he can draw. Things like, oh say everything but Sassy and Rusty.

  12. PoeWar
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or did the microscopes in Luann suddenly turn phallic in panel three? Please say it’s just me.

  13. curlyfries
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    Is it to be total anarchy at Mark Trail now? Overall wearin’, cap sportin’ farmers driving cars over little dogs instead of old Chevy trucks? An overly-sideburned man succumbing to a decent impulse? A woman whose hair appears to have been dipped in shellac now declaring she needs to have it “done”? Ghostly old men appearing out of nowhere?
    Any why isn’t Mark’s horse wearing a collar? Does Mark also want it to bolt so it can be run down by a semi on the highway that’s magically appeared in the middle of Lost Forest? Is all of this some sort of cosmic unravelling so that every animal Mark owns will be taken from him? So that, free of all entanglements, litter boxes, chains, logs and feeding schedules, he can wander a blighted post-apocalytic earth like some kind of nameless, humorless, two-fisted samurai, leaving only this question unanswered: for the love of God, why wasn’t Rusty taken first?

  14. DeGroot of All Evil
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    I am a little confused about B.C. Is that a Britishism I don’t get, or a homophobic joke/threat?

  15. Steve S
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    If this storyline follows the Trail template, the overalled driver’s next move will be to break into a closed store to get some kind of canine first-aid kit. Meanwhile, Mark will punch the horse because its face is hairy.

  16. Shawn S.
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    MT: How did the driver know Sassy was a girl dog? “Well, lemme just roll her over…and check between the legs…aha, it’s a girl! Hang on, little girl!”

    Luann: Quill is a guy, a horny one at that, what with his T.J.-like smile and horrible CD making plans. So yes Tiffany, he’d be with you instead if you let him know you’d put out.

  17. Bryan
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    B.C.: I like the idea that BC takes place in a post-apocalyptic future. In fact, I think it bridges the present day and My Cage. The eight remaining humans in BC will die off and leave the planet clear for depressed platypuses and cute dog-girls.

  18. Charles
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    I know that Clumsy is supposed to be the “scientist” of the strip. But did he really just offer to perform gender-reassignment surgery to Coach? With stone tools?

  19. Chyron HR
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    “Can you make me a bloody mary?”
    “No, but Jack Elrod can make you a bloody puppy.”

  20. PoeWar
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    B.C. takes place in the present day, on an island populated by people with a kinky caveman fetish. What could be clearer?

  21. Kibo
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or is anyone else imagining John Oliver playing Clumsy Carp in a feature film based on today’s “B.C.”?

  22. Fountain Mountain Dew
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    Credit where it’s due . . . Wizard of Id is pretty dang funny today:

    Meanwhile, Steve S (above post #15) gets credit for Comment That Made Me Laugh Aloud at Work. Fine stuff . . .

  23. Nekrotzar
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Oooh, and tomorrow in BC, it will be time to pay, and someone will get hit on the head with a large rock, and they can make an awkward joke about a ‘pound.’ It will be so funny, I just can’t wait!

  24. Bootsy
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    I think the next thing for Mark to do is come down to the Gulf Coast and punch BP. Also, punch the spewing oil till it stops.

    In fact, that seems more likely than anything BP is contemplating right now.

  25. Uncle Lumpy
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    B.C. — When did people start ordering drinks and meals by asking, “Can you make…” and “Can I have…”? More to the point, why? Has “please” come to connote subservience? Have people grown uncomfortable in the role of customer vis-a-vis bartender/waiter? And even if both of these are true, what’s wrong with “I’d like…”, leaving unsaid that it’s their job to bring it to you?

    My daughter once asked a Parisian waiter whether she could have the sole meunière — he charmingly replied, “Of course! This is a restaurant!”

  26. bats :[
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    Since it’s Friday, it’s you-know-who day! (Perpetual thanks for your continuing inspiration, Dean Booth!)

  27. ScienceGiant
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    However, now that we know Sassy is STILL ALIVE and about to be taken to the vet by this overalled hero, I do want to hold up for derision Mark’s increasingly callous dismissals of Rusty’s wholly justifiable fears. Could this storyline finally reveal Mark as the unfeeling monster that he is?”

    Could be worse, Josh. Could be worse…

  28. McManx
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Sassy looks pretty flat and the black puddle underneath her suggests her entrails have been pulverized and are leaking out of her carcass. I’d say the signs of life this guy is seeing is just death tremors. Of course, Rusty looks pretty flat, too…

  29. latinist
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    “Maybe that’s why he’s with her instead of you.”

    I’m sorry, what’s “that”? A self-loathing that makes him despise anyone physically attracted to him? A terror of all female sexual desire? An obsessive need to practice his singing, rejecting all carnal distractions? He’s secretly gay, and Luann is a beard? What?

  30. Walker of Dog
    May 14th, 2010 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Krazy Kat (#7): Hey, travelling organ harvesters are people too.

  31. ignatz
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    I’ve got 20 dollars says that Quill turns out to be gay.

  32. Violet
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    I somewhat question the posited “boys don’t like to spend time with girls who want to have sex with them” premise, but if, as the evidence increasingly suggests, Quill turns out to be gay, in this particular case Pat Benatar may actually be right.

  33. soslight
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    In the living world, assuming a normal forest ranger-deformed child dynamic, this would end with Rusty attempting to murder Mark with a hail of pine cones while sobbing “you bastard, you callous bastard, I knew something bad was going to happen to my stupid little dog.” As this is Mark Trail, Sassy will end up in a body cast and somehow Mark will still be lauded for his calm in the face of near tragedy. She’s not dead. Her spine is broken and she’ll never walk again without a little wheeled cart, but she’s not dead. Everything’s okay!

  34. Perky Bird
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    “Maybe they do in Australia. Sort of plot it out.” What the hell? So Tiffany thinks that in Australia, foreplay involves a little white dry-erase board, some markers, and intricate flowcharts with boxes labled thing like “Initiate Arousal,” “Phase One: Golden Lotus Position,” and “If Climax=Yes then Initiate Post-Coital Cuddle”?

  35. bats :[
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#2): Heh.

    @curlyfries (#13): does Mark know that Sassy’s running around without a collar? Maybe he’d be a little more sympathetic in this situation knowing that she’s on the lam.
    Nah, probably not. He’d probably just lock Rusty in the root cellar.

    @McManx (#28): like puppy, like owner.

  36. Ed Dravecky
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    As a Catholic, I’ve seen plenty of images like panel two of today’s Mary Worth. Like this famous painting. I don’t mind so much that Mary Worth is revealed as an angel sent from above but I’m not at all pleased to find out that Bonnie is our new Messiah.

  37. Darkefang
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#1):

    “Apartment 3-G: Luann has balls? Whodathunkit.”

    Lu Ann’s probably just been sniffing paint fumes again.

  38. curlyfries
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    @DeGroot of All Evil (#14): I’m still laughing at your name – damn, that’s good.

    The “British Pub” label is supposed to clue you in to the wacky British use of “bloody” that we colonial Yanks find so hysterically comic – thats what’s being beaten to death with the ha-ha stick here. But IMHO, if someone asks to be turned into “Mary,” an upgrade to “princess” is just lame – so it sucks ass as a joke. Frankly, I think someone finally heard one of the “sloe comfortable screw” or “sex on the beach” jokes that have been circulating for only the past 35 years and thought, “Now how can I make this even less funny?”

    Even if you try to be charitable and look for the “British royalty-princess” aspect, it’s a dead end right off the bat since “Bloody Mary” was a queen, which outranks a princess.
    I suppose some guy asking to be turned into Mary and another one associating that with princesses could be homophobic if you look at it hard enough, and since you sure won’t be laughing that will give you something to else to do with your time.

  39. Sequitur
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#13): Wow. You make Mark Trail sound almost like a comic strip.

  40. Lolsworth
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    As a British person, I can confirm that the BC “joke” is not a Britishism that a doesn’t translate. Makes no damn sense to me either. All I can figure is that it’s an extremely tastless, 12 years out of date reference to Diana, Princess of Wales. Which isn’t even accurate; in that case it shouldn’t be “British Pub”, it should be “French Paparazzi”. Or “French Bridge” maybe.

  41. Digger
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    Since there are no bottles at the “British Pub,” should we assume that the Bloody Mary will actually be made from blood?

    MT: Mark knows damn well Sassy isn’t coming back on her own. He’s giving her enough time to get good and far away so that he and Rusty will still be out looking for her when Cherry comes home, looking for sex. That Trail guy isn’t as dumb as he looks, folks.

  42. Sequitur
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    One more chance to caption Margo!

    And if you’re wondering what the heck this is doing here, go back to:
    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#271):

  43. Baka Gaijin
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#42): “Take that, you blonde bimbo!” is what you’d see in the papers. “Take that, cuntwaffle!” is more like what Margo’d say in person. If she were a person and all that.

  44. Jnoble
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Does Greg Evans have any concept, any concept at all, of how guys think? Or girls? Or ANYONE in the real world?

  45. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#42): “More whimpering, Mule!”

  46. Oregonian
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I know it’s always a mistake to go looking for logic in Luann but… why are they wearing protective glasses for a microscopy lab?

  47. Pozzo
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Q46: I think they’re just there to emphasize Tiffany’s bug-eyed horror. Freaked me out, for one.

  48. Pozzo
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    Looks like the Jackelrod ball is about to perch on Farmer Godsend’s shoulder. I’m expecting it to start squawking “Pieces of Eight!”

  49. Keaaukane
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    On a separate note, why is there no comments about the passing of “Annie”? In WWII, my father was on a ship, and he and his shipmates swore an oath that the first one to become a millionaire would buy the rights to Orphan Annie, have the bad guys cut her ears off, and then stick her in a Mexican brothel. It’s sad to think that it will never come about now.

  50. curlyfries
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    @Lolsworth (#40): Sadly, I think it’s just based on the Yank concept of the British overuse of “bloody” which is why nobody finds it funny. It doesn’t make this piece of rubbish amusing or even forgiveable, but it does explain it. That Diana angle that occured to you just wouldn’t be a blip on the radar for most seppos, especially this lot, so I honestly don’t think that’s the subtext here.

    Just be thankful that “cheerio,” “gor’blimey” or “jolly good” didn’t show up, since we all know you also use them in every bloody sentence.

  51. Tahleen
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    What… what the hell is a “bloody princess”? Is that bartender offering something horrifying? I’m not sure what to think about that strip.

  52. Sequitur
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    I always wondered what nationality Sassy is…

  53. Hank
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    As near as I can tell, this Mark Trail sequence is Elrod’s way of saying that, yes, he can do a strip even more tone deaf than the one where he said wife-beaters make good baby daddies.

  54. tb4000
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    MT: I suspect that’s actually Margo from A3G in disguise as a blue-jean overall bumpkin that hit Sassy. She doesn’t have nearly enough polka dotted stoles in her collection, and this little mongrel will make an excellent addition.

  55. A New Day
    May 14th, 2010 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    @Krazy Kat (#7): I also noticed the sideburns. I can assume that after the vet heals Sassy, this guy is going to try to sell her on e-bay. This being Mark Trail, where dog napping is insanely lucrative, I assume puppies go for at least ten grand. (And yet they are still allowed to run around unsupervised – it’s an enigma!)

  56. Darkefang
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Lolsworth (#40):

    I believe the “joke” is related to the British slang “bloody.” For example:

    “The joke in today’s BC is bloody awful.”

  57. jayjaybear
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    You know, I never could figure out why Crystal is friends with Tiffany. Crystal is smart, self-aware, witty and kind of outcastish in style. Tiffany is dumb, amazingly blind to her own faults and motivations, completely humorless and totally cheerleader/conventional in style. My theory is that Crystal took on befriending Tiffany as some sort of spiritual service project before she realized that her particular universe had an extremely slow flow of time, and she’d be stuck with her for decades.

  58. Shawn S.
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    @jayjaybear (#57):

    Crystal isn’t really friends with Tiffany, it’s just that Tiffany comes to her with her pathetic stories and Crystal is amused by them. At least I assume that’s the case. When you try to insert logic into Luann it gets really confusing.

  59. Mr. Majestyk
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one who thinks that there should be a Mark Trail movie starring Steven Seagal? Think about it. They both have blue-black hair and unmovable facial expressions. They are both willing to go to extreme measures to protect the environment (ex. ON DEADLY GROUND, which predicted the danger of oil spills caused by faulty preventer units, and FIRE DOWN BELOW, in which he played an EPA agent investigating toxic waste in Appalachia). They both have little time for romantic subplots. And they both absolutely love punching people.

    I mean, they made a Marmaduke movie. Why not?

  60. Austria
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    BC: And as it turns out, their Britain is in modern-day Cameroon.

    reFOOB: So…Elly is actually Stick-Legged-Man-Whose-Name-Escapes-Me?

    FW: Ahaha. Except not. Funky Winkerbean’s reach of despair is expanding out to cover all citizens — now they’re making 19-year-olds feel like the elderly. Their hope is that by making us feel elderly, we’ll become elderly, leading to problems like hearing loss, male pattern baldness, senility, and, of course, cancer.

    Luann: Tiffany’s bug-eyed gaze of shock and horror may be the greatest facial expression I’ve ever seen from this strip.

    MC: Every time I get to see Jeff Shark’s little stub-arms, I’m happy.

  61. Fashion Police
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    @MaryAnnTheRest (#y269):
    As we generally avoid Spiderman, we have no context. However, assuming Mr. Parker is attending a matinee performance off-off-Broadway, his theatre-wear is, if not quite acceptable is at least more than one has come to expect.

    We duly note our presumption that the hue of Mr. Parker’s suit is the responsibility of the color monkeys, and not of Mr. Parker himself. If he’s really wearing electric-blue, we shall be forced to revise our estimate.

  62. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    Tiffany & Crystal are friends because they are the two hottest girls in their school, and together they can feel superior to everyone else around them. [*]

    Tiffany has been “shallowing out” recently, and Crystal seems to be developing a bit of depth, so who knows where this will lead.

  63. Sequitur
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    Now if only Sassy had kept her collar on, she could be doing this instead of just lying around doing her impression of a speed hump.

  64. Uncle Lumpy
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    Steve Carrell is Mark Trail.

  65. AndyL
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

    The best part of High School science is wearing safety goggles for tasks that clearly don’t need them.

  66. Donkey Hotey
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:41 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Theatergoer: “Spider-Man’s here somewhere! With my heightened senses — and stilted internal dialogue — I can smell him!…Oh, no, wait. It’s just that bruised, disfigured corpse in the seat next to me.”

  67. thundereheels
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    MW: I think Bonnie doesn’t understand the correct concept of “praying to Mary”.

  68. Poteet
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    @Jnoble (#44): He doesn’t have any clue about how some of us used to think, that’s for sure. I wasn’t the only paranoid college student in my class who started taking the pill before ever having sex.

  69. Baka Gaijin
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#63): I can’t see that movie but I’ll bet it involves Sassy, a clown, and “Yakety Sax.”

  70. BananaSam
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    turns out the British Pub is just a front for some sort of horrifying murder cult operation. which at least explains why there don’t appear to be any drinks.

  71. Poteet
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    MT — Mark, I’ve known children who are more responsible pet owners. You’re a real jerk.

  72. The Ghost of Jarrod
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Krazy Kat (#7):
    Maybe, just maybe, this is taking place in Bizarro Universe Mark Trail, where people with facial hair aren’t necessarily evil, and Mark Trail is a cold, unfeeling bastard who simply punches first and asks questions later.

    Wait — actually, that’s regular Mark Trail.

  73. Mikey Kay
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    Ok Josh won’t even comment on the “Sassy gets hit” strip, so it makes me feel a little bit bad that when I followed the link and saw panel two, my first thought was “wow, that’d be fantastic on a t-shirt”.

    I say I feel bad, but even after being 10 minutes away from my initial reaction, I still want that shirt.

  74. Sequitur
    May 14th, 2010 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#69): No clown, no music. Just a dog walking on it’s front legs down the top of a wall, pissing on the side of the wall. But…the dog does have a collar and it’s on a leash. [*]

  75. Baka Gaijin
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#74): What? That sounds awesome. Damned intertubes and their damned limitations.

  76. Anonymous
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Crystal is turning out to be the most sensible person in this strip (sort of a less righteous/extreme version of Delta). It says a lot about how weirdly the regular characters in this strip behave when a character who was created to be a freak has become the voice of reason.

  77. chrishocker
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    It’s good to see that Mark is taking time off from doing anything useful. Maybe this entire plot will not involve him at all.

  78. Sequitur
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#75): And it’s a real dog. Not an animation.

  79. Baka Gaijin
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#78): Dogs peeing are funny. Walls aren’t funny. Dogs peeing on walls, comedy gold. Dogs peeing while walking atop walls, comedy dyno-mite!

  80. Black Drazon
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    I wish I had better comic editing skills like some of my fellow Curmudgeons. To wit: “…then Quill said ‘The bedroom it is! We’ll make beautiful music together!’ Doesn’t that sound, y’know…” “Not really.” [two panels of silence]

  81. Sequitur
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#71): Ah, cut Mark some slack. Afterall, he’s distracted by the thought that Cherry will soon be home with a new “do”. Nothing like a new “do” to get Mark all het up. [*]

    @Baka Gaijin (#79): Thank you Jimmy “JJ” Walker.

  82. Mibbitmaker
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Oh, sure, when Jack Donaghy says he’s in love with two women, he gets bawled out!

    A3G: …It begins!

    Archie: Once again, a mildly serviceable little quip gets waaaaaaaaay overdone comedy reactions.

    BC: I also thought immediately of Diana as I read this. It was like Mason out-Mr. Miked Mr. Mike.

    ReFOOB: Awwww! (not the reaction Lynn was going for, I’m sure. Heh)

    BBailey: The classic Walker gimmick of sketching a wacky picture, then contriving a comic strip around it.

    Cranky: Who are you, and what have you done with Ed Crankshaft?!

    Curtis: ~The Male Pattern Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolfe~

    DT: Too bad… Gould always made that look work. Shame, Locher and Brozman… shame!

    ECity: A contest to see which looks worse, the man or the woman. Results: It’s a draw.

  83. Sans Sense
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    S-M: Say what you want about Sabretooth but from the look on his date’s face he certainly knows how to satisfy a woman. Grrrrowwll.

    Next up, Peter Parker panics at Picture Perfect.

  84. Sans Sense
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    B.C. – At least we get what I can only assume is an accurate glimpse at life before jaws were invented. Kudos to the jaw inventor-guy!

  85. Mr. O'Malley
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries, aka The Grammar Police (#Y222): I have the 1965 edition of Fowler, which has this to say about “electrocute”:

    This word does not claim classical paternity; if it did, it would indeed be a BARBARISM. It is merely a PORTMANTEAU WORD formed by telescoping electro- and execution, and, as it is established, protest is idle.

    I presume this was written by Sir Ernest Gowers, who was in charge of the second edition.

  86. Anonymous
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    In Crystal’s case, it’s because Tiffany sprays when she speaks (rages). In Tiffany’s case, it’s because Crystal is wearing them and Tiffany thinks they look cool.

  87. Mibbitmaker
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    FW: Today’s strip is a Whatever in a sea of Omigod-Gimme-a-Fucking-Break.

    Garfield: — or, on MST3K, a mid-movie skit.

    GA: She’s wigging out! Hahaha…ha…ha………ha….. hmh.

    GT: “You get scared by a big football when you were a kid?” Now, THAT I’d like to see!

    MT: Lessee….. The man hit sassy with a car, but is conscientious about it afterwards… plus, it was an accident…..
    Well, he did hit her, nonetheless, so he merits fairly tiny sideburns (we’ve seen bigger in MT).

    ZtP: Unlike the Dingburg strips, Obama and O’Reilly in a ballet as ballerinas together might actually be interesting (if disturbing).

    MW: The plan is working! “Operation: Mary Owns You” is a success!

    Mutts: (Keep in mind: I’m really enjoying this week’s Mutts) Hey, Big Nate called. They want their gimmick back.

    OBH: Grandpa gets more wacky headwear. I hope he keeps this one on for a while, too.

    RMMD: June (to readers): “He don’t know me vewwy well, DO he?”

    S-M: Well, it is possible that this strip is along side Doonesbury in some papers…

  88. Anonymous
    May 14th, 2010 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    Responding to #46 Oregonian

  89. Strangerover
    May 14th, 2010 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail is a fucking bastard! He lives out in the forest (is he on BLM land or something?) and acts like some kind of naturalist, but he really doesn’t give a rat’s ass about anything. Dogs run free in the wilderness, half-wit adopted son (or kidnapped, Stockholm-syndrome child?) gets no real instruction about wildlife or conservation – and is he home-schooled or WTF? Trail reminds me of the “Milkman Dan” character from Red Meat. Mark lives more by dumb luck than by his marginal wits. Every hardship that comes his way unfolds like a Failblog “hey watch this” kind of video.

    Mark Trail, I’m coming to Loser Forest with an ass-load of whup-ass for you – but first I’m stopping at the barber for a proper shave and trim SO YOU’LL NEVER SEE IT COMING! (I wanted to surprise you, you wife-ignoring creep. I’m amazed you haven’t punched Cherry yet, since she’s clearly a BEARD.

    Oh, and I’ll have Child Protective Services along to take Rusty someplace his special needs can be looked after.

    If Cherry wants to come out on a ‘date’ after I punch your close-set eyes, well that’s just gravy.

  90. Joshua
    May 14th, 2010 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    @Keaaukane (#49): It’s still possible; they would just have to purchase the rights to Annie from Tribune Media Services. Admittedly, bringing the strip back into syndication might be more difficult with their proposed new version of the character.

  91. zerowolf
    May 14th, 2010 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    MW: Oh Blessed Saint Mary of Meddle, I am not worthy…..

  92. zerowolf
    May 14th, 2010 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Remember Tommie, soak the bloodstains in cold water otherwise they will set.

  93. zerowolf
    May 14th, 2010 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    Lockhorns: What is there to clean? You live in a blue-yellow nebulous limbo.

  94. Stroker Ace
    May 14th, 2010 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    MT – Nobody can draw a maybe dead dog like Jack Elrod. Nobody.

  95. mustang
    May 14th, 2010 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

    @Strangerover (#89): That’s so funny. I just logged on thinking the same bad thoughts about the Trailmeister.He’s almost sadistic in his lack of concern for Rusty’s growing level of anxiety, and he seems to find it amusing that Sassy, a well-fed domestic pet, is torturing a rabbit.

  96. Miss Othmar
    May 14th, 2010 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    I did a quick scan of today’s snark, and I am surprised that no one has mentioned this.

    SF: So when is Sally going to realize that Jackie and Ralph are perfect for each other? Ted has already figured it out, and we all know how dense he is….

  97. bats :[
    May 14th, 2010 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    I dredged up a few “Sassy memories,” from happier times. (Note that Mr. Elrod didn’t merely do a cut-and-paste for Sassy’s Brush with Death — different facial expression! So there!)

    And since Summer is just around the corner:

    Hopefully, this will help everyone’s weekend be a little more bright.

  98. Crankenstank
    May 14th, 2010 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable with the phallic microscope imagery in Luann today, and normally I’m just about the biggest fan in the world of sexualized laboratory instrumentation.

  99. Jason1981
    May 14th, 2010 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. Majestyk (#59):

    Sure, a MT movie starring Segal sounds good (in a “so crappy that it’s hilarious” kind of way). That means the remake of that movie (which won’t star him) will actually be a remake that doesn’t suck! (well, at least not as much as other remakes)

  100. Jason1981
    May 14th, 2010 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Don’t ever interview suspects without June Morgan. She’ll give you her version of the Bat-glare (the June-glare?) and tell you “Not in MY town.”

    Hmm…June vs Batman in a glaring contest…who’d win that one?

  101. ElkMeadow
    May 14th, 2010 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    So I’m guessing that Sassy is not microchipped, and the vet (who has never seen her before and has no record of her rabies shots or anything) will scan her and decide that she’s a wild animal homeless dog, and Sideburns will truly turn out to be a bad dude as he puts in a found notice at the local Humane Society and the local radio station, an ad in the local paper and flyers all over town, all while Cherry is getting her hair done. Of course, she doesn’t see any of these notices as she is too busy rushing home so Mark can see and not touch her latest coiffure, and he’s too busy chasing after Rusty who’s trying to find Sassy, who is safe and sound someplace sane.

  102. curlyfries, aka The Grammar Police
    May 14th, 2010 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#85): Yeah, and all of bats:[‘s little compound offerings aren’t really mashups, they’re BARBAROUS portmanteau visuals. Oh, la.

    Since telescoping the roots of crux and excrucio resulted in the perfectly acceptable crucifixion without unduly disturbing any “latinists,” the objection seems quite specious to me. And to make a further stand for “classical paternity” when electro- isn’t Latin at all, but debased from the Greek for “amber”(*) is really silly. One should really pick one’s battles over the persnickity, dude.

    All I can say is that if poor Gower had such an aversion to compound words, I do hope he stayed the hell away from the BARBAROUS German tongue. Tsk.

  103. troy macgregor
    May 14th, 2010 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: “And believe me I am still alive
    I’m doing science and I’m still alive
    I feel FANTASTIC and I’m still alive
    While you are dying I’ll be still alive
    and when you’re dead I’ll be still alive
    STILL ALIVE, still alive”

    Sorry couldn’t resist making a Portal Reference

  104. Jamus The Bartender
    May 14th, 2010 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: It’s like the cop has NO idea who really runs things in Glenwood. He’ll learn. Boy, will he learn.

  105. Jamus The Bartender
    May 14th, 2010 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Are Mary and the doc gonna tie Bonnie to a chair for a weekend and cup up her credit cards and burn all of the stuff she doesn’t need? Because, that would be really cool. I mean, REALLY cool.

  106. Jamus The Bartender
    May 14th, 2010 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    MT: Nooo….Sassy is about to keep from entering the bright light. Yeah, I feel better now.

  107. KarMann
    May 14th, 2010 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    So, I’ve just found out that the new (to me) lizard I saw in the backyard a day or two ago was, most likely, a collared lizard.
    Of course, in my head, I immediately made the contrast to Sassy.

  108. Poteet
    May 14th, 2010 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    MT — In Iowa, dogs are prohibited on all state wildlife areas from March 15 to July 15 because that’s the prime wildlife nesting season here. Again I wonder what kind of place LoFo is…except I momentarily forgot, sorry, that LoFo is part of an alternative reality where you never die if you’re cute. That means wildlife babies are safe. But Sassy looks odd enough to have gotten hit by a car, and Rusty…hell, he could die any moment now.

  109. Jamus The Bartender
    May 14th, 2010 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#90): Either way, I kind of like the mexican brothel idea.

  110. This Guy
    May 14th, 2010 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @troy macgregor (#103): Well quoted. I’d like to take this quasi-on-topic opportunity to let everyone know that Portal is FREE via Steam for PC and Mac until May 24, so you have no excuses. Go get it if you don’t have it already.

    @Mibbitmaker (#87): I think Big Nate gave up that gimmick some while ago, so you can’t really fault what’s-his-name for picking it up off the sidewalk.

  111. Some Guy
    May 14th, 2010 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#96):

    I don’t read New Adventures of Queen Victoria, so thanks for drawing my attention to this storyline. Almost as absurdist and surreal as the real thing (and I love PBS being the LibDems).

  112. Poteet
    May 14th, 2010 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#96): If only Mark would actually recommend spaying and neutering. Given the current storyline, I need some reason not to want to punch him.

  113. bunivasal
    May 14th, 2010 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    Is this black-haired girl insinuating that Quill, a (presumably) straight Australian man, would rather spend time with Luann than Tiffany because Luann doesn’t want to have sex with him?

  114. mattmcdraw
    May 14th, 2010 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    speaking of mark trail: here’s a truly curmudgeonly movie you inspired — i made it in the spirit of this blog:

  115. curlyfries, aka The Grammar Police
    May 14th, 2010 at 8:51 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#112):

    If only Mark would actually recommend spaying and neutering.

    That will never happen. For Mark Trail to be able to recommend spaying and neutering, Mark Trail would have to know what sex is in the first place. I therefore predict that by this time next year, Lost Forest will be up to its ass in kittens.

  116. bats :[
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#108): now that’s just wishful thinking, and you know it!

  117. bats :[
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    @mattmcdraw (#114): excellent stilted dialog on Mark’s part (and yes, that IS a compliment!). Funny stuff indeed.

  118. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:24 pm [Reply]

    @BigTed (#10): Considering that this “British pub” has no chairs, tables, glasses, or alcohol, it might be a little too much to expect that there could be some tomato juice, Tabasco sauce and celery seed hidden under that rock somewhere.
    This is BC, remember? Look in the mini-fridge by the microwave.

    @KarMann (#107): A collared lizard? What color was it? I’m hoping to make a “collared green” remark.

  119. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @Miss Othmar (#96): folks, that link will be much, MUCH funnier if you go back and read the rest of this weeks NAoQV. I did, and I’m rupturing my spleen from laughter.

  120. bats :[
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    @KarMann (#107): really? A collared lizard? They’re gorgeous critters, and I’ve only seen one in the wild (we’re urban enough that our lizard population is primarily Mediterranean geckos, tree lizards, with the occasional spiny and whiptail tossed in).

  121. KarMann
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#118): Sorry, they’re sort of tan or buff. But don’t let that stop you! I’m sure one could get some kind of fungal or algal infection that could turn it green.

    Oh, and seconding the past week of NAoQV, here.

  122. KarMann
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#120): A less colourful variant than that one in your picture. Very much like the one featured on the Wikipedia page.

  123. KarMann
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    Again, with proper quoting & preview now:
    @bats :[ (#120): A less colourful variant than that one in your picture. Very much like the one featured on the Wikipedia page.

  124. Brick Bradford
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Yes, it’s true. Guys much prefer girls who sing show tunes to girls who put out.

  125. Renee J
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    MT-It’s too bad that this strip takes place in the fifties, because nowadays you could get your pet microchipped. And I’m sure an animal expert would insist on doing that especially if their dogs run free. It does take place in the fifties, right?

  126. Elwood83
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    Dang, is BC making a Princess Diana joke?

  127. boojum
    May 14th, 2010 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    @Brick Bradford (#124): Oh, heck yeah! Laws-a-mercy! Every male high school student I know prays every night to be protected from “that” kind of girl.

    I heard tell of a girl once who actually, you know… liked “it.” ‘Course, I didn’t believe it for a second. It just wouldn’t be natural-like.

  128. boojum
    May 14th, 2010 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    [One hour later:] DAY-um!! Did I break the Intertubes?

  129. Poteet
    May 14th, 2010 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#128): Naw, I’m here. Say, you never mentioned that you had an Institute!

  130. curlyfries
    May 14th, 2010 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    @Renee J (#125): But microchips aren’t a GPS tracking system, so if Sassy’s serious about escaping the Resident HellChild, she could still do it without going all kamikaze roadkill. But I think that if Mark can’t wax rhapsodic over it while tying it in to the sound of smacking canoe paddles and singing fly fishing reels, he’ll reject as unnatural.

    It does take place in the fifties, right?

    Actually, judging from Cherry’s hair, Mark’s naivete and their combined lack of sexual knowledge, I’d say it was more like two ’20′s and a 10.

  131. Cooby
    May 14th, 2010 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    Mark continues to prove himself as the uncaring dick that he is. Meanwhile, a stranger who has hit Sassy with his car is willing to face a hefty vet’s bill to make her better.
    I ask you: Who is the better father figure for Rusty? And will he choose wisely?

  132. Buck Ripsnort
    May 14th, 2010 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    Wow, I’m late tonight.
    BC: This “joke” would be so much better if I could believe it was about menstruation. See, “princess” and “Mary” could be slang for tampons. . . but no, another joke ruined by reality.

    Luann: Since the microscopes are, in fact, giant dildos, the students are forced to wear magnifying goggles.

  133. boojum
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#129): Well, one simply doesn’t mention such things – any more than, say, the tree named in one’s honor. This is why I am, at all times, modestly lower-case.

    I do rather like the phrase on the Institute’s website: “the magical and mysterious [b]oojum.”

  134. boojum
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#130): Wait — sex wasn’t discovered until after the 1920′s? Then how are we to understand the works of Mister Cole Porter?

    I’ve heard that lizards and frogs do it
    Layin’ on a rock
    They say that roosters do it
    With a doodle and cock…..

  135. bats :[
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    Some Saturday observations: I could say something about Kit Walker raising his mother-deprived kids instead of fighting terrorists or kanoodling with hawt female ship captains, but I’ll just stick with someone who knows how to best spend her time, with relentless meddling

  136. Poteet
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#133): And you also do obstetrics and gynecology in your spare time. Really, you are too modest.

  137. Poteet
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:45 am [Reply]


    A3G — Stop, Tommie, stop! I’m not ready for the world to end!

    FW — Today’s strip will be in the dictionary next to “pathetic.”

    MT — Mark, you seriously aren’t helping yourself here. I’m ready to hire Margo to go into LoFo and break your legs.

    MW — “Become my apprentice and you can replace shopping with meddling! Beginning Meddling at first, of course, but then you can move on to Advanced Annoying Interference!”

    PHANTOM — So this couple doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the children either. Lovely.

    S-M — I’ll bet we could think up a good title for this play. It’s too late for the dialogue, obviously, but we could give it a good title.

  138. NoahSnark
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    In the world of B.C. sex-change operations are a normal side business for many a drinking establishment.

  139. Poteet
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    5/15 DT — How many weeks has it been since they gathered for this rehearsal that has yet to begin? Two? Three? Twenty?

  140. blackgoat
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:27 am [Reply]

    MT: Relax, Rusty. Let’s see how relaxed Mark is when he gets that veterinary bill which includes 14 days of skilled nursing care @ $ 129.00/day.

  141. boojum
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#136): Yeah. But to tell the truth, the gynecology is more a hobby.

  142. boojum
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    MW, Panel 2: Dear Ms. Moy and Mr. Giella:

    Thank you, I guess, for answering the question of what Tom Cruise would look like were he decked out in a ginger wig, a variable-pressure fat suit, and English gentlewoman’s pearls.

    It seems almost callous, at this point, to point out that no one, ever, has in fact actually asked this question. But there it is.

  143. Carlo
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:16 am [Reply]

    @A New Day (#55): Does he thank sideburns man, then punch him for hitting Sassy with the car? It seems to me that’s the only way out.

  144. curlyfries
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    @boojum (#134): There was no sex before Cole Porter. This is a true story. Cole Porter was a wonderfully witty alien with a time machine, who journeying back to our past to teach us about sex. It did take time for people to realize it was fun and not just something you did while you closed your eyes and thought of England.

    Bless his heart, I once saw a 20′s vintage photo of him in a onesie bathing suit, wearing a rope of pearls – you can’t tell me that would go over well in Lost Forest. Of course, if he’d had a good time machine he could have travelled forward to 1944 and killed off Jay Cocks, who wrote De-Lovely, in infancy and saved those of us who were sucked into watching it about $11 as well as the three hours of our lives we’ll never get back.

  145. Jason1981
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:37 am [Reply]

    Luann: “Oh, and we’re gonna have sex. Maybe we’ll invite Delta and Bernice, and each of us can take turns with Quill…and each other.”

    “That’s nice dear. As long as that slut Toni Daytona stays away from my, I mean.. son!”

    MT: Wow, Sassy’s lucky there wasn’t a ravine nearby. Mark and Rusty make the Pattersons look almost competent.

    FW: Just wait till Les finds out that the book is going to be published on toilet paper.

    reFOOB: John knows that if he goes to sleep, he’ll wake up to her bitching and shrieking. Either that or he found out she’s planning to kill him in his sleep.

    He shouldn’t worry– she’d try to kill him with her cooking, and he’s able to survive that.

  146. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    @Strangerover (#89): “Oh, and I’ll have Child Protective Services along to take Rusty someplace his special needs can be looked after.” So that’ll be Beverly Hills. They have the best plastic surgeons.

    @bats :[ (#97): I knew I saw that flying puppy before this week’s strips.

    @curlyfries, aka The Grammar Police (#115): “I therefore predict that by this time next year, Lost Forest will be up to its ass in kittens.” The LoFo has an ass? Wow. I guess we know who its asshole is.

    @boojum (#128): I was asleep. Sorry.

  147. ElkMeadow
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    So what is going on with Tribune Media Services? I looked at Housebroken at go.comics and read a comment that there have been at least three comics ended or in the process of ending in a few weeks.

  148. ElkMeadow
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    MW I really don’t want to know what Bonnie’s other “bad habits” are. My kids tried this on me–I gave up the habit of writing fanfiction (which they saw as a waste of time) and replaced it with commenting here. And they’re even less happy now.

  149. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 3:01 am [Reply]

    Saturday’s Strips

    Mary Worth: “I have many bad habits,” cried Bonnie. What could they be?

    Inappropriate disclosures of personal information to buttinskis
    Sleeping with makeup on
    Not separating her recyclable plastics by number
    Using display fonts as text fonts
    Playing “Marco Polo” at Masies
    Using a fork to remove toast from the toaster oven
    Standing while peeing and not lifting the seat
    Picking other people’s noses when she thinks no one is looking
    Trying to pick up the gay guy who lives downstairs [*]
    Compulsive necrophilia
    Chronic masturbation
    Binge butt-sniffing
    Unlicensed oral surgery

  150. medievalgeek
    May 15th, 2010 at 3:10 am [Reply]

    @thundereheels (#67):

    Or maybe the rest of us don’t.

  151. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 3:16 am [Reply]

    One Big Happy: Maybe Miss Avis looks better without her death mask “face.”

    Apartment 3-G: Tommie, if it “feels good,” keep on doing it. Show Margo who wears the Daddy Panties.

    Mark Trail: We need a militant PETA member right now. Firebomb Mark’s house. Then again, looking at Rusty’s face (ewww), maybe they have.

    Cathy: We need a militant PETA member right now. Firebomb Cathy’s house. Just on general principle, not because she harmed animals in this episode.

    Marvin: It’s isn’t funny when you do it and it was marginally funny when Tom and Jerry did it in the 1950′s.

  152. ms docweasel
    May 15th, 2010 at 3:41 am [Reply]

    “For the right price, I can make you a bloody princess”
    I guess it’s not too soon for Princess Di jokes?

  153. Sterling
    May 15th, 2010 at 4:34 am [Reply]

    “Sassy should have been back by now, Mark!”
    “Don’t you worry, Rusty. That li’l dog will be back any minute now, and I’ll give her a good punching.”
    “…Is that really the best response, Mark?”
    “It’s never failed me yet, Rusty.”

  154. curlyfries
    May 15th, 2010 at 4:59 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#149): OK, I made it all the way to “compulsive necrophilia” and then I wet the couch. Not too bad, actually.

  155. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 5:06 am [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#154): Any time. Looking at Bonnie’s guilty profile, the bad habits had to be more than not tipping her hairstylist. I mean, she didn’t actually pay for a ‘do that looks like, well, that, did she?

  156. curlyfries
    May 15th, 2010 at 5:35 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#155): Actually, I’d say “compulsive shapeshifting” and “tranny impersonations” were number 1 and 2 with a bullet on that hit parade of faults. Because that sure as hell ain’t Bonnie’s nose or chin in panel two (*) and that unfortunate ‘do is straight from the NoMo’ Motion collection of helmets floormops wigs.

    You know what this means? Not only did she pay to look that way, bitch is still indulging in “new looks” right before Mary’s very eyes! Can the Righteous Wrath of the Meddlepocalypse be restrained until next week, or will the Righteous Smoting of the Defiant be unleashed tomorrow?

  157. athena
    May 15th, 2010 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    The second panel of MW suggests that Bonnie’s actually a cross-dressing man, though I hope that’s not one of the “bad habits” she’s referring to. Because cross-dressing in and of itself isn’t “bad,” though Bonnie’s taste in garments and wigs certainly is.

  158. Amateur
    May 15th, 2010 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    MW: More bad habits? At last, this is getting interesting!

  159. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#156): Yeah, you’re right. I chose the bad habits that could be more easily hidden. That wig link, is that where clowns get their scary hair?

  160. Gnoll
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie is starting to think that speaking out against Margo is a good thing. Just wait until she walks into the apartment to find Lu Ann dead and Margo standing in the shadows behind her.

  161. curlyfries
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#159): You consider “compulsive necrophilia” a bad habit that can be more easily hidden?

    Uh, you know, I never ever want to know what your cellar looks like or how much closet space you have or why you buy so many mothballs every month. Nor do I want to know if your name is Dave and you’re really a hermit. We never had this conversation. You never heard of me. I promise.

    Clowns will steal their scary hair from innocent little dogs, stroke victims, cousins of X-Men and aliens. They have no shame.

  162. Buck Ripsnort
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    Apparently, Bonnie’s bad habits include Occasional Giantism. Let’s hope Meddler Devouring is next on the list.

  163. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#161): curly, “compulsive necrophilia” is easier to hide than the muscular shoulders and mannish face that Bonnie shows to everyone [*]. Unless someone’s crawling into the morgue’s drawers (heh heh) with Bonnie and her paramour or Chatrouletting it, it’s a pretty good secret. At least until Mary find out and puts it on MeddleTube for the world to see.

  164. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    MAry Worth: Bonnie illustrates one of her many bad habits by picking her nose. Will Mary meddle boogers or let it slide? Tune in tomorrow or many sometime in the next three months to find out!

  165. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    I am brain-dead and snarkless this morning, and a good chunk of my comics haven’t updated. (glares at yahoo comics) So, have some squee instead.

    Lab pups times three!

    Fox on the run? not so much.

  166. curlyfries
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#163): Baka, from the way that Bonnie’s been inflating and deflating and now is clearly displaying a mannish, estrogen-deficient physiognomy, the answer is finally, horribly clear. Ernie isn’t mysteriously “away on a trip”- he’s wearing Bonnie’s skin as a disguise.

    If “Bonnie” asks Mary to stay for lunch, fava beans and a nice Chianti will be involved.

  167. dreadedcandiru2
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Sunday Funnies:

    ReFoob: Today’s new-ruin shows Elly following a tight schedule only to be humiliated because John is too stooooooopid to acknowledge her efficiency. In short, Plus ça change, plus ça même chose.

    Sally Forth: Ces compares the grand plans his characters make with the humorously disappointing results; he could write songs for BNL with a talent for happy little strips about chronic depression like this.

    Funky Winkerbean: Suicide Girl’s need to mark Les as being her property leaves Cayla literally on the outside looking in. Tragedy, pain, anguish and smirking ensue.

    Crankshaft: Cranky uses pedestrian wordplay to discuss working in his garden.

  168. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#166): Ah ha ha ha ha HA! Good one.

  169. Hannibal Lecter, M.D.
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#168): Thank you, Clarice Baka. Might I trouble you for some extra liver?

  170. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    @Hannibal Lecter, M.D. (#169): I’m “doing a Sassy.”

  171. gleeb
    May 15th, 2010 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Doonesbury: OK, already, I get it. No one’s as civilized as you were back at the New Haven Country Day School.

    ‘bean: Everyone’s hopeful that this will get Creepy Les out of the school more often. Either that, or they know the universally negative reviews will crush him.

    Gil: Only Gil Thorpe gives the reader the thrill of crouching beside the washer/dryer and eavesdropping.

  172. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 15th, 2010 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    A3G – Tommie should put “spoken up” into quotes so she can be finger-quotin’ as she thinks that to herself, thus showing the reader clearly who she’s turning into here.

    Archie – Jessicammie?

    Bizarro – You may say he’s callous, but that’s a more compassionate suggestion than putting the earphones in.

    Close – Close to telling a joke of some kind, but the amateurish crudity of the art just steps right between the reader and the content. Why the halfway obscure written-out address? (Is this some kind of Dinette Set jokelet? No, but the time it takes to realize that kills any possibility of enjoying the weak gag.) Why a shedlike building with crazily distorted rough boards and visible nail heads? How did the drone’s treads make it up that sixteen-inch high step? Has the artist become impatient and started training his son to take over the strip while the kid’s still in grade school?

  173. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 15th, 2010 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Dick“Here we go back in time… Do you still remember this one, Tracy? It happened in 1937, when I was a mere teenager.”

    Smirky – Even when she’s happy for Les, her involuntary “air wank” gesture betrays that she must have read the book somewhere along the line.

    Luann – Bad word choice, L! Your parents don’t really suspect you of anything, but the whole notion of leaving anybody in Brad’s room alone sets off a fierce need to intrude, judge, and (if possible) emasculate.

    MaryThe close-up… that profile… ohmygod, that’s Ernie!
    He probably dismembered Bonnie and scattered her remains among all those boxes! Mary, for the love of God, whatever you do, DON’T RUN! Keep talking! Try hinting that you know what’s going on while he’s holding a carving knife! [*]

  174. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 15th, 2010 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Momma – So it’s not a photo, but the actual preserved head of her late husband, Mr. Wences. If he could talk, he’d beg her to “close de box.”

    Prickly – The problem here is that this strip is so rarely even “just good enough” that it makes no sense to say it.

    Zippy – Awwww, I was hoping for a cameo from Ace Hole!

    @boojum (#134): Wait — sex wasn’t discovered until after the 1920’s? Then how are we to understand the works of Mister Cole Porter?
    Gay and bisexual people learned about these things earlier. It’s one reason society at large fears them, even as it solicits their advice in matters esthetic.

    @NoahSnark (#138): In the world of B.C. sex-change operations are a normal side business for many a drinking establishment.
    Barber-surgeons didn’t displace bartender-surgeons until the middle ages, because bartenders had a near monopoly on anesthetics. (And peanuts, but that’s not important now.)

  175. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 15th, 2010 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    OK, since I earwormed myself with that last post, and knowing that the only way to get an earworm out is to replace it with another, here’s a squeeverse or two.

    American fennec,
    you make me squee!

    American fennec
    momma let me be.

  176. John C Fremont
    May 15th, 2010 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#135): CCR? Proud Mary?

  177. TheDiva
    May 15th, 2010 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    BaBl: What, you’re telling me you wouldn’t swing naked in the rain if you had the chance?

    Cathy: So, Cathy respond to thirst by eating a cheeseburger. This goes all the way past unhealthy eating habits and into sheer lack of survival instinct.

    C’shaft: Since you’re Crankshaft in drag, I can’t blame your son.

    DT: “Here we go back in time,” which may explain why this plot still isn’t going anywhere.

    Luann: Well, I suppose Papa DeGroot needs somebody to hate in a creepy and irrational manner too…

    MW: I want to see Mary diagnose other serious psychological problems as “bad habits:”
    “You have a bad habit of obsessively sorting things! Why not channel that energy into something constructive, like baking?”
    “You have a bad habit of not wanting to go outdoors! Maybe you just need a friendly pool party to make you feel at home!”
    “You have a bad habit of kidnapping women, raping and murdering them, and dismembering their corpses! Did it ever occur to you to try talking to them instead?”

  178. Robin
    May 15th, 2010 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    Mark, don’t you know that to feed a horse, you hold your hand FLAT? It’s like you’ve never been around animals.

    That’s the saddest horse I have ever seen. I hate horses, but even I just want to give it a hug.

  179. Écureuil Écumant
    May 15th, 2010 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    MT: What on earth is that gigantic scary thing in the second panel?!

  180. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 15th, 2010 at 10:36 am [Reply]

  181. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#179): AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! CLUNK! Baka does a Sassy again.

  182. ElkMeadow
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#151):

    Isn’t One Big Happy all reruns, all the time? Sort of how FBOFW is going to be when Lynn quits “updating” her strips. (Typewriters sprout monitors, spankings-and-sent-to-bedroom become time outs.)

    And for Cathy, you might try ELF (Environmental Liberation Front), which has a habit of fire bombing Forest Service buildings in the Pacific Northwest. And then sic ‘em on the weird “journalist” in the Lost Forest.

  183. commodorejohn
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    A3G – Dun dun dun!!!

    BrS – So wait. Brenda knows that Granny Nixon has a hit out on her, her ex-beau has managed to remove himself from the old bat’s suspicion, they have recorded evidence, and she goes back to her apartment? WHAT.

    Crankshaft – GRARGH.

    DT – Shot of Tracy (opt. w/Anja Nu.) Shot of the Science Museum. Shot of J. Nothing. Jumble order. Rephrase previous dialogue. Rinse, lather, repeat.

    FC – This just in: Jeffy more menacing than Dennis.

    Luann – die die die everybody die

    MT – There is no problem, even a missing puppy, that can’t be solved with eggs over-easy, apparently.

    MW – So. The way to deal with an addiction is to find something else to get addicted to. Thanks, Mary, I’ll remember that.

    MC – That poor, poor child.

    The Norm – Hey, you two, unsubtle sports-themed innuendo is Gil Thorp‘s territory!

    Phantom – “The Phantom: he makes the bad guys…disappear.” Just tell me this isn’t going to go out in a ’90s Darker And Edgier direction. Because you can grit it up all you want, it’s still about a guy in purple spandex who punches people with a skull ring.

    Popeye – So, any bets on how long this story will go on before ending with a trademark Popeye non-sequitur/non-resolution combo? I swear, this strip is just one shaggy dog story after another.

    RMMD – I’d make some snarky remark about June, but I’m too distracted by Brook’s, um…silhouette in panel one.

    SF – Yep.

  184. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#182): One Big Happy is all reruns? Oh noes! Unlike FOOB, these are entertaining the second time around.

  185. Mibbitmaker
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    “Settle in. This may take hours” — NO KIDDING!


    ReFOOB: Lynn’s gone from vengeance to wish fulfillment.

    FW: If there’s one thing worse than bad stuff happening, it’s bad stuff happening and someone cheering it.

    GA: Aaaaaaaaaand now, the stupid is complete.

    JP: I thiiiiink all the insulting Neddy stuff just kept you from being o so sympathetic, Jules. Except for being both a simp and pathetic.

    ZtP: Aren’t these supposed to be in black & white? Gray tones, coloring monkeys, gray tones.

    MT: And now, another episode of “Blissfully Unaware Theater”.

    MW: “Many bad habbits”? Oh, God, Mary’s going to stretch this Bonnie Johnson thing all year, isn’t she?!

    RMMD: Sideburns? Mark Trail already took care of that guy.

    S-M, panel 1: The play has better writers than this comic strip.

    S-M, panel 3: You do and you’ll clean it up!

  186. GotFuzzy
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#36): She’s not the Messiah. She’s a very naughty girl!

  187. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#182): “Isn’t One Big Happy all reruns, all the time?”

    It depends on where you are getting the strips. The new ones are on Yahoo and TheChron, there are one or perhaps two different series of reruns on other sites. (the syndicate runs the repeats at a “group rate” with other strips, according to Mr. Detorie.)

  188. Calico
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    MW – “I have many bad habits – including picking my nose in front of other people.”

  189. Calico
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    “I have many bad habits…including metamorphosing into Elena Kagan.”

  190. Sequitur
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Oh, why do I read these two strips?

  191. Calico
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    @Les of the Jungle Patrol (#164):
    Shit, I just saw your post. Sorry for not reading back.

  192. Calico
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    “I have many bad habits…including squeezing the fruit, soft cheeses, and toilet paper at the supermarket.”

    Boxers or briefs, Bonnie?

  193. Sequitur
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    My Bad Habits: Reading 9 Chickweed Lane and love is….

    I sure glad I stopped reading ReFOOB and Cathy a while back.

  194. Lucky
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    Boffo – That’s pretty much my idea of Heaven too.

    Family Circus – I never thought it would be Jeffy to attempt escaping the Keane compound. Though of course I’m using the word ‘attempt’ in the loosest possible sense here.

    Mark Trail – Has Cherry’s dad been holding that pose all this time? Guys, I think he’s dead.

  195. Poteet
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#142): Great. I’ve always disliked Tom Cruise and I don’t care for Shape-Shifting Bonnie either, and now they are melded in my mind into one truly hideous mutant organism that I can only hope will stay out of my dreams.

  196. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#187): Phew. I’m glad to know I’m reading first-quality Ruthie.

    @Calico (#188): How about picking other people’s noses when she thinks no one is looking?

  197. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    JP: So, let’s see: The two girls are all excited about taking the car out for a spin, and the two guys are back in the bedroom discussing shoes. Sounds about right.

    MT: “Yes, we’ll wait four or five days, and if Sassy hasn’t shown up, we won’t bother to get our asses out of seats; we’ll just send Andy. And while we’re at it, he can look for Cherry, who apparently never returned from her hair appointment.”

    The one consolation: When they do send Andy, the most competent member of the group will be on the job.

    MW: More bad habits? Will Bonnie be the Well of Eternal Meddle, into which Mary can dip her extended, withered claws, scooping up rich, satisfying globules of personal issues whenever she thirsts for human misery?

  198. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Lucky (#194):

    I never thought it would be Jeffy to attempt escaping the Keane compound. Though of course I’m using the word ‘attempt’ in the loosest possible sense here.

    My thought exactly: He’s trying to claw his way out, but his rounded, stubby fingers can’t make much headway. Just that little bit probably took him a whole day.

    (Okay, full disclosure: That wasn’t my only thought. My other thought involved Jeffy’s fingers getting away from him in his pants, but my brain quickly ran away in horror.)

  199. True Fable
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    It’s housecleaning time via the old Switcheroo.

    Sam Driver’s Pretty People Posse 2.0! Okay, it’s time to get rid of whiny, pouty, nobody-loves-me Jules. Unless, of course, he wants to take over for Peter Parker, the judge’s cousin nobody likes to talk about, or to.

    Children of the Circle Jeffy’s frantic clawing at the walls tells us it’s time to release him into the wild, Thel.

    Apartment of Doom Yay Tommie, you go get ‘em girl! You are ready for your own spot – playing the leading role in Ziggy!

    The Amazing Wooden Actors Something about that spaced-out idiot smile on Peter’s face tells me that it is easy to impress him. After all, he is under the delusion he’s a hero. We’re ready for your close-up, Jules!

  200. Sequitur
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#196): How about picking people’s brains…. with a real guitar pick!

  201. Écureuil Écumant
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    RMMRSA: The dialogue itself does a pretty solid job of ruling out the possibility that Brook took the loot and is lying about being robbed. She’s been around the block a few times; she’s no naïf. She wouldn’t concoct such a detail-rich and unlikely description of the perp. Instead she’d say “average size black guy, twists, baggy pants, dark hoodie”. And instead of the cop saying “we didn’t find anybody matching the description”, the paddy wagon’d be overflowing by now.

    Personally, I figure dude made a clean getaway and is now hiding in Rex’s basement or perhaps in one of the lifeboats.

  202. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: Is Greg bald? If so, then what’s that on his head—some kind of weird skin condition? An externalized brain?

  203. Calico
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#196):
    Sounds just about right to me! : D

  204. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#200): Ha! Your smooth words aren’t going to trick me. I know there’s an evil clown picture in that link!!!

  205. True Fable
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    And can I just say, my big hope for this summer is that someone in Comicland will smack the smug right off of Sally Forth’s face. Fuck you, Sally; fuck you with all the contempt a round of bitterfuck can offer.

  206. True Fable
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    @True Fable (#205): the same goes for Jeremy from Zits.

  207. Sequitur
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#197): MT:

    And while we’re at it, he can look for Cherry, who apparently never returned from her hair appointment.”

    Do you realize how much time it must take to undo the old do before they can do a new do? Hmmm?

  208. Sequitur
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#204): You couldn’t know that unless you looked.

  209. Écureuil Écumant
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#195): Shape-Shifting Bonnie won’t haunt your dreams, I promise. She may jump over the back of your couch on you while you’re sitting there watching Oprah, though.

  210. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#208): Nope. I guessed. I guessed it was about time for you to make me do a Sassy again.

  211. Sequitur
    May 15th, 2010 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#210): I sure wish you could watch video because here we have some girls doing the Sassy!

  212. Jamus The Bartender
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Gramma’s gonna tell the story about how she did both of them, isn’t she?

  213. Jamus The Bartender
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Yep. There we go. I knew someone would speak up.

  214. Jamus The Bartender
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    Then there’s gonna be the Luann CD release party, where everyone gets to listen to, “Quill, That Tickles”, and “Did You See Where My Panties Went?”, and “Nancy, Get My Shotgun”.

  215. Jamus The Bartender
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    Spider Man: The “spidey sense” sort of comes and goes according to the writer’s needs, doesn’t it? Like when MJ is on stage. Or when Friends is on.

  216. Jamus The Bartender
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    Sally Forth: Buckle your seatbelts, kiddies, it’s gonna be a wild ride…..

  217. Jamus The Bartender
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    MW: Heh. This is where Mary hits Bonnie up to chair the Charterstone committee to keep the leaves out of the gutters or neighborhood watch or something else no one wanted to do.

  218. Jamus The Bartender
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    JP:Well, Jules, if this goes south, with a wooden box, some rags , a little shoe polish and some “get up an’ go”, you can be the proprietor of your own shoeshine stand. Yeah. Neddy should LOVE that….

  219. Jamus The Bartender
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    Ol’ Stripey Pants: Way to deal with your grief, there, Phantom. The Jack Bauer way. He also shot up heroin, you gonna do that too?

  220. Mibbitmaker
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#210): That, plus the URL (if I’m getting the term right), which shows when the curser/arrow-pointy-thing is on the link, has the words “ClownFace” right in it!

  221. Calico
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    MW – “Oh, and I forgot to mention, I’m hooked on gambling, especially Video Lottery Terminals.”

    I know, I’m really picking on Bonnie today.

  222. Mibbitmaker
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

  223. Baka Gaijin
    May 15th, 2010 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#220): Heh heh heh. Hoisted by his own petard, so to speak. Hey! That’s another of Bonnie’s hidden bad habits: Hoisting others’ petards behind their backs.

  224. Écureuil Écumant
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    S-M: (And never was an abbreviation more appropriate)

    I’ve seen enough plays and musicals in comic strips, but never have I seen one where they added quotation marks around the characters’ lines. WTF? They’re not even doing that in DT!

    And don’t I remember Sabretooth already having his run-in with Spidey just a week ago when he damn near brained him at the carnival? So what’s with this “Now I can make my move”? Maybe he’s gonna rush the stage and do a tapdance.

  225. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#224): Perhaps he’ll just keep following Peter to increasingly absurd locations: “He’s in the dentist’s waiting room, reading a magazine! Now I can make my move!” “He’s in the 15-items-or-less line! Now I can make my move!” “He’s in the Best Buy, virtually catatonic in front of the wall of big-screen TVs! Now I can make my move!”

  226. commodorejohn
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    Luann – “You don’t understand, Dad! Quill likes me because I don’t want to have sex with him!”

  227. Calico
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#222):
    Speaking of The View, I’d love to see Elizabeth Hasselbeck trying to take on Margo.
    I think Lizzie would end up as a pile of bleached bones on the floor.

  228. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#224): Oh, I’m inclined to give them that one, as a novel but effective way of showing that they’re performing a play (and that’s why they’re on a stage, with an audience, and when I revisit it in my mind’s eye, I see them holding scripts and peering intently at them as they speak). It’s true that it gives it a weird, stilted feeling to the proceedings, but I think this is probably a true depiction of how it would appear to the audience as well.

    It does bring up the question of other ways to show the same thing. Supertitles! Speech balloons shaped like scrolls! Prince Valiant-style text blocks at the bottom of the panel! So far, my favorite solution would be not to hear anything they say, but use any space in the panel to have audience members saying, “What a swell play this is that we are watching!” “I am genuinely entertained!” “I predict great things for this theatrical company!” “That Mary Jane Parker simply steals the show in her walk-on as Cleopha, the housekeeper!”

  229. Obélix
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    Luann: I am all for following safety procedures, but wearing lab goggles to look through a microscope?????

  230. Sequitur
    May 15th, 2010 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#223): Curses. Foiled again. But I’ll get you and your little dog too!
    [goes back to lab to consult with Reeky Rat...]

  231. boojum
    May 15th, 2010 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    MW: Is one of Tom Cruise’s Bonnie’s bad habits speaking into her invisible Star Trek communicator and having the person she’s talking to shifted 30 degrees on his or her axis? ‘Cause I’d… kind of like to learn that one.

  232. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 15th, 2010 at 3:41 pm [Reply]


    MT: How I wish Andy had vocal cords. “Look Trail, we gotta get going now. Every minute we stay here, Sassy’s trail grows colder. Let me put it in terms you can understand.” And at that point he’d have to give up and take off on his own.

    Ziggy: Well, dogs don’t eat cats. Maybe Ziggy’s dog said something else, a word that sometimes means “cat” but… Aaaaauggh! UNSPEAKABLE FILTH!

    Blondie: Well, really it looks like someone cut their own hair while in the middle of an epileptic seizure, and has been doing so for about seven decades.

    Archie: Giving Cammie a name. Is that wise? Next you’ll have to give her a personality, and that may fall outside the AJGLU3000′s parameters.

    Luann: Oh right, like it’s remotely possible for anything to happen in Brad’s room.

    FC: Life has become more difficult for Jeffy since Not-Me’s lawyer sent that cease and desist order.

    DtM: Hey, Bill Maher was right. Do it right and women will just roll over and go to sleep like everyone else.

    GT: Cassie’s got the Bling! Bling! ringtone? That’s so 2005.

    C-Shaft: Can we assume your son is Danny Devito in Throw Momma From the Train?

    Garfield: Nice move putting your fish in a tiny unfiltered bowl within reach of Garfield’s paws. How many more fish will have to die so you and your cat can play this game? How many, Mr. Arbuckle?

    6C: Why yes, that is my girlfriend’s water bottle in my pocket. And yes, I am happy to see you.

    S-M: Apparently MJ’s big theatrical gig in Miami is performing in an unproduced MyNetwork telenovela script. Sabretooth’s imminent attack on Peter may just lift it from banality to conceptual brilliance.

  233. Bizarro Stormy
    May 15th, 2010 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    I, for one, thought it was strange how Sassy ended up sailing through the air like it got kicked in the arse by a big brown cartoon boot. What’s next, someone drops a piano on the guy that ran Sassy over, and he starts spitting out piano keys?

  234. Calico
    May 15th, 2010 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Obélix (#229):
    Hey there!
    How’s your pal Asterix?

  235. Cyranetta
    May 15th, 2010 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    MW: Perhaps Bonnie’s “many bad habits” are Moy & Giella’s way of downsizing: eliminate any other character but Bonnie and Mary and trot out a new bad habit whenever the need for a plot shift arises (or is forced by the sobs of editors).

  236. Ethan Shuster
    May 15th, 2010 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Sweet Lord, the real World War II didn’t last this long!

  237. Poteet
    May 15th, 2010 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    @Ethan Shuster (#236): I wish they’d just get to the boinking already.

  238. bats :[
    May 15th, 2010 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#200): You know, when Baka Gaijin finally snaps, does a Sassy and runs out into traffic, we’re all gonna feel real bad…

  239. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 15th, 2010 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#238): “police cited the driver for felony driving, and all 13 passengers of the Cooper Mini for possession of concealed weaponry, including selzer bottles and assault-cream pies.”

  240. Sequitur
    May 15th, 2010 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#238): Just don’t take his collar off!

  241. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 15th, 2010 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

    “assaultzer bottles” would also have worked there.

  242. Sequitur
    May 15th, 2010 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    @Artist formerly known as Ben (#232):

    Luann: Oh right, like it’s remotely possible for anything to happen in Brad’s room.

    Well, there’s always the possibility of mutual masturbation.

  243. boojum
    May 15th, 2010 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#237):

    I wish they’d just get to the boinking already.

    Ahem. I believe the term you’re looking for is “doin’ that funky hand-jive.”

  244. curlyfries
    May 15th, 2010 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#243): And I’m almost 99% sure that using the word “funky” in reference to anything created by Brooke McEldowney is a felony in 48 states and Puerto Rico.

  245. tb4000
    May 15th, 2010 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    S4th: When did the most likeable character in the strip turn into Nancy DeGroot?

  246. Sequitur
    May 15th, 2010 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    @curlyfries (#244): And a misdemeanor in the Virgin Islands.

  247. Black Drazon
    May 15th, 2010 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    So is Sassy a girl? I assume the guy man handling her broken body might have seen enough to know, but the real question is if Mark accidentally punched out sex-the-noun the last time punched out sex-the-verb, and that it no longer matters. Discuss.

  248. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 15th, 2010 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    Look up the original meaning of “funky.”

    (See? Batiuk must have been planning the charcter arc all along.)

  249. Obélix
    May 15th, 2010 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

    @Calico – He’s good, thanks! (Ils sont fous ces DeGroot!)

  250. Judas Peckerwood
    May 15th, 2010 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    “Mark, I hope the squealing brakes, loud thump and agonized yelp we just heard didn’t involve Sassy!”

    “Oh Rusty, don’t be silly — Sassy doesn’t drive!”

  251. Some Guy
    May 15th, 2010 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    Um … I have a terrible confession to make.

    I laughed at yesterday’s Funky Winkerbean.

    I know, it was one of those horrible “Hey, modern technology exists!” gags. And it was in Winkerbean where bad jokes go to die of cancer. But I laughed anyway.

    I didn’t laugh at todays Crankshaft, which was pretty much the same, so I guess I’m not completely beyond help…

  252. Some Guy
    May 15th, 2010 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: “You see, Rusty, Mothe Nature is a complex and unforgiving soul. Sassy may or may not return, based on a principle that Charles Darwin called ‘Survival of the Fittest’. But if she gets hit by a car, or falls over a ravine, you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that her death makes way for a better dog to take her place.”

  253. wossname
    May 15th, 2010 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#222): Ooh, aah, the suspense! But next Friday and Saturday I’ll be in VA for MidAtlanticon, and at the mercy of the hotel’s “business center” (if any) for comics-reading. Well, if it doesn’t have a business center with working computer, bourbon babe is going to have to do a full re-enactment of the most significant comics for me and mooncattie, including doing the voices.

  254. Sequitur
    May 15th, 2010 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    @Some Guy (#251): Hmmm. By any chance, at the time you laughed at Funky Winkerbean, were you drinking Potato-Ade™?

  255. Écureuil Écumant
    May 15th, 2010 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    @Obélix (#229): Interestingly, if you check panel 2 you’ll see that Tiff has pushed her safety glasses up on her brow so she can actually see through the microscope. Aside: seeing things through a monocular microscope isn’t as easy as it might seem. Lots of first-timers complain they can’t see a damn thing.

    This doesn’t explain the safety glasses, so I have to presume that their teacher quite rightly despises his students so much that they have to take universal precautions for the times he goes roadside and spits in their faces.

  256. carbunicle.
    May 15th, 2010 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    @PoeWar (#12): The barrel receivers could be misconstrued as the girls’ knuckles wrapped around a shaft. Their forward-leaning posture and downward gaze are all pornosalient.

  257. Écureuil Écumant
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    @carbunicle. (#256): Yeah, we get so much of that in “Luann” they really should change the name to “POV”.

  258. professor fate
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Luann’s mother’s objection is not to Luann having sex per say – it’s that she might have sex in Brad’s old room which would bust that rooms cherry.

    FW: You know unless they were very very cruel they wouldn’t have asked Les to meet with them unless they were going to publish his book. Still this is Funky Winkerbean. So that is possible. “We wanted to give you the Manuscript back . we know how much it costs to print these things up.”

  259. Carrie
    May 15th, 2010 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @Black Drazon (#247): I’d be willing to bet most animals in MT are female, for the same reason that most animals in old movies are female. No visible genitals to shock the prudish.

  260. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 15th, 2010 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

    Oh where oh were could my Sassy be
    A Ford took her away from me
    She’s left the forest now but that’s okay
    ‘Cause Mark explained that it’s Nature’s way!

    I was givin’ a bath to my little dog
    I laid her collar down on a log
    She saw a hare
    And ran ahead
    Off into the woods where the rabbit led
    She ran so fast
    I just let her go
    A highway was there but I didn’t know
    The honking horn
    A screech, a yelp
    A man in a cap who tried hard – to help.

    Oh where oh were could my Sassy be
    A Ford took her away from me
    She’s left the forest to go live on a farm
    Chasin’ rabbits all day in the sun so warm.

    I went to Mark
    And he was feedin’ the horse
    And sayin’ “Well, it’s a pity of course,
    But it’s Nature’s way
    To remove the weak
    Lost Forest’s no place for a candy-ass freak.”
    He tousled my hair
    And looked at me and said
    “We’ll look for her in a little while.
    But first let’s go
    Have some pancakes and eggs
    With maple syrup from those little kegs.”
    Then he told me stories
    By the fireplace light
    There was something I forgot – that night.

    (Oh, yeah…)

    Hey where oh were could my Sassy be
    A Ford took her away from me
    She’s left the forest so I’d better save up
    So some day I can afford another pup.


  261. Toronto
    May 15th, 2010 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

  262. commodorejohn
    May 15th, 2010 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#260): This is why we need a Song Of The Week.

  263. boojum
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#260): Generational Divide Question: When you think of “Last Kiss,” does Pearl Jam come to mind?

    Love your rendition, though no re-imagining can ever hope to rival the pure schmaltz of the original.

    The screamin’ tires, the bustin’ glass
    The painful scream that I heard last…

    Right up there with “Tell Laura.”

  264. Farley's Revenge
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

  265. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    @Oregonian (#46): @Obélix (#229): Re: Luann— Tiffany and Crystal are wearing safety goggles because they’ve just collected fresh sperm samples for their microscopic analyses.

  266. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#263): I was looking up the lyrics and saw that Pearl Jam had covered it. I’ve heard the name, but with slight exceptions, I haven’t been actively into new pop since the 70s. Someone introduced me to some decent punk stuff, years ago, and once in a while I hear something I like or see a good video (“Tonight, Tonight” by Smashing Pumpkins comes to mind). The original was actually a little before my time, but oldies shows were a big thing when I was in my early teens and I picked up a lot of stuff there. [*]

  267. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 15th, 2010 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

  268. mr 12 oz can
    May 16th, 2010 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#197): i love hearing good things said about andy . just dont understand how he can live with that family maybe because they let him eat at the table

  269. commodorejohn
    May 16th, 2010 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#267): The “Memories of Love” suite off Chicago II is pretty decent, too (though I don’t know if you’d call it a teen death song.)

  270. Yr Obt Servt
    May 16th, 2010 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail, 5/15:

    Mark’s comments to Rusty about little dog Sassy are remarkably calm, seeing as how there’s a deer bigger than Godzilla right in front of them.

  271. dyslexic dog
    May 16th, 2010 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#267): Death songs, so maudlin, even the parodies. Gas songs–that’s the way to go!

  272. Comcis Fan
    May 16th, 2010 at 1:24 am [Reply]

    FW: That’s not just the sound of a cork popping. It’s also the sound of Cayla’s last straw. “You can have him, Susan,” she says, “along with the car dates with his late wife.”

  273. Farley's Revenge
    May 16th, 2010 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#269): It’s not a teen death song-I think-but it’s definitely a maudlin death song. Ladies and gentlemen: “Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro.

  274. Baka Gaijin
    May 16th, 2010 at 1:58 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#239): WHATTT?? I was just asleep. Can’t a guy have a narcoleptic fit in the middle of the road without everyone delcaring him dead?

    @wossname (#253): Even better, have them re-enact today’s Apartment 3-G. I want to hear Margo’s solo of “Sticks and Stones.”

    @Écureuil Écumant (#255) on safety glasses: The teacher may not be able to prevent them from swallowing dry ice, but he can try to stop them from pulling each others’ eyes out with chrome plated dissecting forceps. Again.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#260): Good one.

    @mr 12 oz can (#268): I think Andy sticks around because Mark lets him eat the non-recurring characters after they’ve left the stage.

  275. Anonymous
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    Josh, I can’t help but notice you did not capitalize Sassy in the link. Are you implying that Sassy is not a proper name, ergo not worthy of capitalization? Because.. I’d have to agree with you. Sassy is not a proper name for any god damned dog.

  276. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#267) et al.: For sheer awfulness, nothing beats Teddy Bear and its follow-up, Teddy Bear’s Last Ride. These songs must have been sources of inspiration for Tom Batiuk.

  277. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    @dyslexic dog (#271): Thanks! I’ve always had the “pipes”, just not the kind that makes music.

  278. soleil
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    MW: Mary better not throw away Bonnie’s husband’s pink pimp hat….

  279. Baka Gaijin
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:49 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Strips

    Bizarro: Totally full of win! I want to see Grammy Cookoo and Baby Uh-oh having hijinks in their own strip. Imagine the possibilities! Grammy plunging the WalMart greeter with her plumbers helper sceptre. Baby almost falling into a vat of Potato-ade.
    PS: Uncle Tutu and Sissy Go-Go as a detective team in their own strip? That could work.

    Lockhorns, upper left: I am so using that whenever I can.
    Coworker: “I think Mac computers are great.”
    Me: “If they’re so great, why aren’t there dollar bills in their tutus?”
    Coworker: “Oooookay.” Slowly backs away from Baka.

    Apartment 3-G: Margo singing “Sticks and Stones,” like a cobra spreading its hood, is warning of an impending attack with sticks and stones.

    Blondie: What a cold hearted bitch! If I were Cora, I’d check JC’s pockets for ladies hankies with MM embroidered on them. That dick move has Margo Magee written all over it.

    Mary Worth: That’s the full court Meddle? The refs call traveling on this play. I’ve had fortune cookies with better life direction than this.

    Mary Worth, second look: The windows are completely black. I guess the apartment knows what tiresome evil lurks within.

    Rhymes with Orange: Yeah granny, I think you’d be safer blaming that wardrobe malfunction on senility not your grandson.

    Slylock Fox mystery: Rachel Rabbit is going to buy the fake and frame Reeky Rat for stealing the real one from her. The real mystery is which one the insurance company is going to pay for.

    Pluggers: Am I to believe this isn’t a Reed Hoover? This is sooo Reed Hoover’s style. Oh, yeah, and Pluggers’ lives are so pathetic that an errant ring of greasy breading will bring them such glee. Their spouses’ knowing glances show that they realize the error of their ways by getting married to the first guys who they allowed to get to second base with but can’t divorce because their fundamentalist religion won’t allow it. They’re somewhat relieved that the same guys are good with their hands. No, not in naughty areas. Installing that “special” shower massage on a hose in the shower, mounting a bass boat seat on the washing machine lid, stuff like that.
    “I gotta wash 3 bath towels when we get home,” says Lady Kanga.
    “Three towels? Honey, you know that just unbalances the machine,” he responds.

    Foxtrot: Oh, I so wish Jason was successful. Maybe he can convince his dimwit father to do his bidding.

    Buckles: Mrs. Buckles, start buying jeans in much larger sizes. Your husband just used Cathy “logic.” Next he’ll be shoving handfuls of carbs into his mouth and AAAKing about bathing suits.

  280. Baka Gaijin
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:50 am [Reply]

    @soleil (#278): If he’s pimping out the inflating-deflating Bonnie, no wonder they don’t have any money. I don’t think the cosplay market for “Herculon wearing matrons” is that big in Santa Royale.

  281. Mr. O'Malley
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:58 am [Reply]

    FC: There was a time not so long ago that there was a whole row of trees next to the Keane house. And even longer ago than that they had other houses nearby. But I guess their mobile Protean house has decided to move itself to the lonesome plains of Nebraska or somewhere like that.

    I like the way the place that sells trees doesn’t have any trees growing either. It’s as though it was just unloaded from the back of a truck as a kit and assembled on the spot. BTW, check out the cars in the parking lot. What year is this a rerun of?

    FW: This is a turning point for Les. It’s either going to be a foursome (counting one ghost) or a catfight. Or the two women will drink all the champagne and then take off barhopping together, leaving Les behind. What’s the most depressing scenario? Maybe the foursome is just about to start, then his daughter comes home and puts a stop to it. And he was so close.

    JP: If it’s money you want, you came to the right place. But doesn’t he already have a rich girlfriend? Rich, and careful where she invests it, obviously. But Abbey buys $3M apartments in Paris on a whim, so I guess she could afford to buy a couple thousand pairs of shoes.

    Lockhorns: I’d like to imagine a backstory for the harried wife and the jaded potbellied husband who are forced to endure the Lockhorns’ endless complaining week after week for eternity.

    MT: Why pick on egrets? Are they particularly prone to being sucking into jet engines? When I see egrets, they’re usually cruising along at a pretty low altitude.

    MW: Is Mary wearing a black apron? On anyone else, going visiting with an apron on would probably just be a sign of encroaching senility, but with Mary it probably means she is about to initiate Bonnie as a 3rd degree Satanic Mason.

    RMMD: How could her savings be gone when all she lost was a week’s take? My understanding on the way these places usually work is that each person who works there either pays a fixed rent for their station or pays half their take to the owner. So the people who work there already have their money. She’s out a week’s earnings, but if it’s verified to be a real robbery there’s a good chance she could collect insurance on it.

    6C: Not bad today.

    SlyFo: Egypt in O! ??? Subtitled “Submissive Women in New Kingdom Tomb Art”?

    Sometimes the results are better if you can’t really read the tiny print.

  282. Baka Gaijin
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:08 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#281) on Mark Trail: I’m chuckling at imagining egrets meeting a GE90-115B turbofan. Flapping wildly to get away until their long spindly legs finally make contact and BZZZZT! Naked bird pooped out the exhaust.
    Real egrets sucked into jet engines? So not funny.

    I don’t read Sunday’s Mark Trail. The probability he’s going to punch someone or something is practically zero.

  283. Poteet
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:18 am [Reply]

    FW — Yes indeedy, nothing makes a man look studlier to the ladies than having a book published by a university press. Most likely Kayla, standing hopefully at the door back there, is just the first in a long line of women who are waiting to bonk Les. Let’s hope he’s taken his Cialis!

    PV — Wow, the small people speak some Yiddish. Way cool.

    RMMD — Waaaait a minute. I’m pretty sure Brook is the daughter of June’s aunt, so when did she become June’s niece? And when and how did someone’s life savings get thrown in with the week’s receipts?

  284. curlyfries
    May 16th, 2010 at 4:31 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#260): Oh, so full of win! I can’t tell you how much I loved that – my sofa is now totally destroyed, dammit. Teenage motor vehicle death songs are one of my fave things anyway – the original’s also before my time, and while I didn’t mind the Pearl Jam cover I’m a purist and think it’s pretty much impossible to improve on the original. All I can say is – nobody better re-record The Leader of the Pack or there’s gonna be trouble.

  285. Mr. O'Malley
    May 16th, 2010 at 4:31 am [Reply]

    Late notes:

    PV: “Thuatha” is probably taken from Irish mythology. “Tuatha Dé Danann” (“peoples of the goddess Danu”) ruled in Ireland until they were defeated by the Milesians, who came from Spain. The peace settlement allotted the portion above ground to the Milesians and the portion underground to the Tuatha Dé Danann, who later became known as “fairies”.

    Pluggers: I can see why the kangaroo is rolling her eyes. OMG I got a free onion ring even through I only paid for french fries. That puts me up 0.25¢ and I only have to come up with another $1499.9975 for the house payment.

  286. Mr. O'Malley
    May 16th, 2010 at 5:11 am [Reply]

    When it comes to teenage death songs, I’m a fan of “I Want My Baby Back”, but a more modern one, comparatively, is this one.

  287. Amateur
    May 16th, 2010 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#286): And let us not forget this classic.

  288. Écureuil Écumant
    May 16th, 2010 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    @281 Mr. O’Malley said:

    MW: With Mary it probably means she is about to initiate Bonnie as a 3rd degree Satanic Mason.

    So there really are such things, huh? I started wondering last fall when the guy who came to repoint the mortar in my chimney insisted he wouldn’t start working until I lit a fire. I couldn’t get him to explain why, even when I gave him the third degree.

  289. gleeb
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:36 am [Reply]

    Brenda: So, she let a guy who was ratting on the murderous and corrupt city government sleep in his own house alone, and this is what she gets. Silly, frigid cow.

    Non Seq.: Hey! Something else Wiley doesn’t understand: physics.

    Zits: I tilted my head for this?

    June Morgan, RN, Det., and ibid: Ordering the police around. Who does she think she is, Sam Driver?

    Piranha: He didn’t even draw the banana in his ear!

    ‘bean: This is going to be the dullest love triangle in history.

  290. Buck Ripsnort
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    Beetle: “That’s why I came to bed.” The blue pill isn’t working. Cheez, could Batiuk write a more depressing marriage?

  291. wossname
    May 16th, 2010 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#260): Bravo! Thanks, Muffaroo, for the wonderful parody, and thanks everybody for the reminders of some of the gems of the genre, and introductions to new ones (I LOVED “The Homecoming Queen Got a Gun”). My favorite would have to be “Laurie” (“She asked to borrow my sweater/And said she was very, very cold”) — or maybe “Teen Angel” (“They said they found my high school ring/Clutched in her fingers tight”). But Pearl Jam covered “Last Kiss”? Who knew??

  292. wossname
    May 16th, 2010 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    MT – It’s been said many times, but for a guy who’s supposed to be such a nature lover, Mark/Elrod is remarkably anthropocentric. “Not all interactions between humans and egrets are beneficial, as they can be a potential safety hazard in the fields around airports.” Uh, yeah… a plane-egret encounter could possibly be non-beneficial for the plane… but it would be really, really non-beneficial for the egret.

    MW – Today’s word count: Mary, 77; Narration box, 7; Bonnie, 1.

  293. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 16th, 2010 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#267): “BBQ Sauce”

  294. TheDiva
    May 16th, 2010 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: When you’re stealing punchlines from a children’s joke book, it’s time to retire as a comic strip writer. Just sayin’.

    DT: Dress rehersal? You haven’t even read through the script yet!

    FW: In the background, Cayla sighs with relief. She thought she’d never get rid of Creepy Les, but with Susan distracting him, it will be all too easy to make her escape.

    MW: Next, Mary will meddle away Dr. Chinbeard’s ED. “You can get it up! I believe in you!”

    Pluggers can’t afford the extra buck-fifty to buy their own damn rings.

  295. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 16th, 2010 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    Sunday snark:

    RwO: mental picture, DO NOT WANT!!!

    9CL: mental picture, relevant to my interests.

    Frazz: art win.

    Lio: just win.

    FxT: geekery win.

    ‘shaft: wow, a joke older than Crankshaft. That takes some doing.

    SFx: another Bactrian camel clue.

    OTH: don’t try this at home.

    MT: egrets, I’ve had a few. . . .

  296. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 16th, 2010 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @Alfred E. Neuman (#276): When a certain level of squalid bathos is reached, it’s hard to make comparisons and say that this one is a more impressive achievement than that one. That said, “Teddy Bear” is a genre definer if there ever was one. Luckily for me, I never had to hear it on the radio. Sadly for me, I had to hear “Giddyup Go, Daddy” or whatever the thing was called, another example of the fine emotions to be found in the intersection of kids, trucks, and death. Though not what you’d be praying for by the time you were halfway through hearing the second verse.

    @Mr. O’Malley (#286): Julie Brown is a damn goddess, and I mean that in a good way. “‘Cause I’m a blonde, / B-L… I don’t know!”

  297. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 16th, 2010 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    oops, forgot to mention, our very own Alfred E. Neuman should enjoy today’s HotC. ;-)

  298. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 16th, 2010 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#296): “being chosen this month’s Miss August is an honor that I’ll remember for as long as I can. . . .”

  299. AhClem
    May 16th, 2010 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    JP – Careful, Abbey. You buy too many shoes, and a certain white-haired biddy will arrive and meddle you into submission.

  300. Baka Gaijin
    May 16th, 2010 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#294) on Mary Worth: Um, Diva, Mary is the cause of Dr. Chinbeard’s wang shriveling. In fact, she’s the leading cause of wang shriveling on the comics pages today.

  301. commodorejohn
    May 16th, 2010 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    A3G – I don’t know what’s gotten into you either, Tommie, but it’s got your eyes sliding around your head. Maybe you’re maturing into an adult flounder?

    AS – Scott Hillburn does not draw squid nearly as well as Mark Tatulli. Wait, let me rephrase that: Scott Hillburn does not draw nearly as well as Mark Tatulli.

    BB – Wow. Is there a more subtly depressing sequence in today’s funnies than the throwaway panels in Beetle Bailey?

    BrS – Holy shit. I didn’t know you could do that in the funnies.

    Crankshaft – Have a daily strip? Need a Sunday? Just pad it out with a bunch of extra panels!

    Curtis & DTM – Yeah, rant away, comics authors. Blame things you don’t even understand for everything you dislike. Meanwhile, us cognoscenti will be over here on the Internet laughing at you.

    DT – Look, I’m sorry, Locher, but a guy thought-balooning one-liners to himself just isn’t that scary.

    FT – This is why I love FoxTrot. Best evil plan ever.

    FW – Okay, Susan, good thinking. Get him drunk, and then you can handcuff him to the basement stairs.

    JP – Whoa. Uh, what’s with Abbey today? She’s not even looking at the shoe. Did she stumble onto a stash of the Dickens’s special brownies?

    MW – Now I get it. Mary is fine-tuning her meddling to play into Bonnie’s emotional neediness. Clever.

    Momma – If she had the stomach to look directly at your withered little maggot visage, she would say it to your face.

    PV – Okay, between last year’s kaiju attack on Camelot and this apparent inspiration from The Mole People, I think Gianni and Schulz had one hell of a B-movie marathon a while back.

    RMMD – Wait, the salon lady handed over her savings to a new employee? WHAT THE HELL FOR?

    SM – Sabretooth: hobo, homicidal maniac, errant superweapon, patron of the arts.

  302. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 16th, 2010 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    Heart – I feel his happiness.

    Dick – Crimestoppers textbook: Land sharks are wily and resourceful. Ask for ID before opening the door to any purported delivery of Candygrams.

    Fuzzy – Nice left turn there.

    Slylock – Here’s my personal mnemonic for telling a Bactrian camel from a dromedary: look at how a capital B looks lying on its back, and how a capital D looks. Cool, huh?

  303. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 16th, 2010 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Judge – The sad thing is that Jules can’t duplicate any of those prototype shoes for mass production because he didn’t make them. He fell asleep over his last one night, and a bunch of elves came in and did it for him. Sucks to be Jules.

    Family – The people living in our old house are reaping the benefit of all those trees we put in in the 60s. Can’t even see the place from the road when I drive by now.

    Smirky – Scooped by O’Malley, though I put it all on “And after initial hostility, the two women go home together.” Hubba!

    @commodorejohn (#301): They call him Johnny Nothing because that’s what he does!

  304. Calico
    May 16th, 2010 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    So Dithers tosses Dagwood’s salad and Mary Worth puts herself in the ranks of professionals. Wow. And I haven’t even finished reading the Sunday comics yet.

  305. Devil in the Drain
    May 16th, 2010 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    @Ed Dravecky (#36): Could be worse. Maybe that’s the Annunciation, Bonnie’s doing the talking, and Mary(!) Worth is about to give birth to our new savior.

  306. John C Fremont
    May 16th, 2010 at 11:26 am [Reply]

    Speaking of songs about dying, this remains my favorite.

    And now that the spotlight is no longer on Reed Hoover, I can go back to reading Pluggers with 50% less gnashing of my own teeth. Yes, my fellow Mudges, our long international nightmare is over. The Houston Chron works. Something, something, higher power, and something about mercy.

    A3G – As once said by a guy on an island name Gilligan (The guy, not the island, although the island supposedly was his, after all. Wait. What was I saying? Oh, yes. The quote.) “Sticks and stones may break my bones, so please, don’t throw sticks and stones!”

  307. blackgoat
    May 16th, 2010 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    MT: Mark is spending Sunday composing his ad, and in the best craigslist fashion, posts to Lost and Found:
    “Lost, in Lost Forest, mutant spotted puppy, age, sex, and breed unknown, no collar, tags or microchip. Cherished pet.”

  308. Ukulele Ike
    May 16th, 2010 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#283): “Most likely Kayla, standing hopefully at the door back there, is just the first in a long line of women who are waiting to bonk Les. ”

    I think you meant to type boink, but I personally would rather see him get bonked by that long line of women.

  309. Poteet
    May 16th, 2010 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#308): As I learned from watching Britcoms, “bonk” is yet another slang term for having sex. However, I’m beginning to think it would be faster to list the verbs that have never been used as slang terms for having sex. There can’t be many left.

  310. Baka Gaijin
    May 16th, 2010 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    To all those posting the songs about teenage death, I can truthfully say I’m glad I don’t have YouTube. As glad as Mary Worth at a “Bad Choices” convention. As glad as Marvin in a fresh pair of XXL Depends. As glad as Reeky Rat with a cold beer and hot cable hookup.

  311. Calico
    May 16th, 2010 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#306):
    Yes – miss you, Kurt!
    BNL has a creepy song too, from the album Maroon, about a car crash – the guy is dead or almost dead and is sort of seeing the whole accident play out – jaws of life, etc.
    And as far as I know, Steve Page is NOT a Funky Winkrbean fan.

  312. Calico
    May 16th, 2010 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    OK, here it is – you’re welcome (or not):

  313. bats :[
    May 16th, 2010 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#306): one of my favorite dead songs: “One Tin Soldier.”

  314. Calico
    May 16th, 2010 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    Isn’t that horrible song “Honey” about some girlfriend dying?
    And that song about Billy Jo somebody jumping off the Tallahatchee bridge?
    Death Cat must be laughing at us right about now!

  315. Uncle Lumpy
    May 16th, 2010 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#314): MacAllister

  316. Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord
    May 16th, 2010 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    FW: Creepy Les is going get raped or killed? Right? Both?

  317. wossname
    May 16th, 2010 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#314): Oh God, “Honey” was the worst piece of drivel that’s been mentioned in this entire discussion. However, “Ode to Billie Joe” was kind of interesting, both musically and in that we (the listener) never did really figure out what happened or what it was that Billie Jo threw off the bridge (before throwing himself off). Kind of unusual for a country song in that era to be intentionally mystifying.

  318. Anon
    May 16th, 2010 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Note to Dithers: I think Dagwood was expecting the discharge while you were tossing his salad. Complete surprise to be discharged afterward.

  319. Calico
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#315):
    Thank you!
    I actually like the Billy Jo song – it’s creepy with a Southern summertime feel.
    He may have thrown a cinder block or stone with a rope attached to his leg – who knows?
    The mystery is what makes the tune work.

  320. Uncle Lumpy
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#319):

    It was also really well written: “… sleepy, dusty Delta day” and whatnot, desultory guitar riff that matched the mood, and as you say, it let you fill in the blanks.

    Downside: during the summer of 1967, you could not get away from that song. Or “Come on Down to My Boat” by Every Mother’s Son, but let’s just not go there, okay?

  321. Uncle Lumpy
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    Or “Respect”,
    “If You’re Going to San Francisco”
    “All You Need Is Love”
    “Everyone Knows it’s Windy”

    I had a job driving delivery that summer. Listened to a lot of AM — oops, I mean radio.

  322. boojum
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#319): Bobbie Gentry had a little thing called soul, which makes all the difference. Of course, that velvet catsuit for “Fancy” didn’t hurt none…

    @Uncle Lumpy (#321): Your comment powerfully brought the summer of 1967 rushing back to me. Not a bad playlist.

  323. Baka Gaijin
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#320): Hey! Snap out of it! 1967 is over, except in Family Circus.

  324. wossname
    May 16th, 2010 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    @boojum (#322): Oh yeah… I’m having flashbacks too. The summer of love, they called it (unironically, at first).

  325. Écureuil Écumant
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @303 [Old Man] Muffaroo said:

    Judge – The sad thing is that Jules can’t duplicate any of those prototype shoes for mass production…

    The odd thing is why he’d come to America — and especially to chez Driver — to “fix them”. “Pardonnez-moi, Sam, but may I please borrow your cobbler’s last and an awl or two? I left mine at home in the attic.” Just imagine Bonnie plotting an Antarctic expedition to hit the outlet stores, or Cue bringing his bong to Singapore to get a new screen fitted to it.

  326. Calico
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#323):
    Yeh, even Mary and crew and Dennis the Menace know how computers work.

    Bobbie Gentry…I had forgotten the singer.
    I was only 4 1/2 the summer of ’67, so don’t really remember radio until 1969 or so.
    Tom Donovan went stereo in 1969, if I’m correct?
    “This is the left channel…this is the right channel.” : D

  327. Écureuil Écumant
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#324):

    If you come … to Mid-Atlanticon …
    Be sure to wear … Some stinkbugs in your hair …

  328. Push Trot
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Blondie: Have you seen today’s middle panel? [snicker]

  329. Push Trot
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    JP: Whoa, slow down there, Jules! Sam is trying to connect with you, so try to refrain from discussing the details of your life that he is bound to find weird and unnatural. Please, ixnay on the out of oneymay.

  330. Poteet
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    STONE SOUP — The online version seems to be stuck on Friday. The cosmic signs keep coming, and yet I keep reading it. Damn.

  331. wossname
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @Écureuil Écumant (#327): I dunno, I always somewhat preferred…
    Old mudgeons, young mudgeons
    Feel all right
    On a warm MidAtlantic night

  332. John C Fremont
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#313): The great thing about “One Tin Soldier” (or “OTS” as the kids might very well call it for all I know) is that you can listen either version. I prefer the one by The Original Caste because it my mind does not associate it with Delores Taylor.

    Just kidding, Delores. Say “hi” to Tom for me.

  333. John C Fremont
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    Oops! I swear I previewed…

  334. Poteet
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    9CL — I know it’s bad when I wish Thorax had appeared instead.

  335. Push Trot
    May 16th, 2010 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    DT: Is the tracyverse even uglier than usual today, or is it just me? And I would really appreciate to NOT hear any more of Johnny Nothing’s internal monologue.
    Get shot already!

  336. Poteet
    May 16th, 2010 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

    @Push Trot (#335): At the current pace, the actual rehearsal should end sometime in January of 2014.

  337. Ukulele Ike
    May 16th, 2010 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Who goes out to lunch with people they can’t stand? Who spends that kind of time with people who completely daunt them? Who wears form-fitting ankle-length sleeveless turtlenecked gowns to a lunch date? And what the hell is that that Isabel’s got on….a nightie?

    OTOH, I really like Izzy, because of the ease with which she fucks Edda’s head.

  338. Mars
    May 16th, 2010 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    “Bizarro” was win today. Go look at it.

  339. Push Trot
    May 16th, 2010 at 4:34 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#336): I know you’re right, Poteet, I just wish you weren’t. I’ve seen continental drifts with more action. And, when I think about it, with more believable dialogue.

  340. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 16th, 2010 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#311): This opens a vein (figuratively) of half-forgotten death songs from around 1970-ish, like “DOA” by Bloodrock, and “Timothy” by whoever the hell I can’t be arsed to look up now. A friend on LJ just opened my head up (again, figuratively, but slightly less so) by sharing a country-western song from the 60s called “Psycho” in which the narrator is telling his momma about some of the people he done killed. Cool beans.

    @314 And the superb “Honey House” Smothers Brothers sketch is up at YouTube now, possibly posted by one of the fine folks here. Certain indications (specific artifacts) lead me to the conclusion that it’s from the rip I made of it from a VHS tape, which I have in the past made available here. If you didn’t go download it then, you can now go look at it.

  341. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 16th, 2010 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

    @blackgoat (#307): Har! Nicely done.

  342. John C Fremont
    May 16th, 2010 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#340): Yeah, I used to have “DOA” on eight track. A couple of years ago I inherited some of my mom’s music collection, including 2 or 3 Bloodrock albums. This probably helps to explain how I turned out.

  343. Aviatrix
    May 16th, 2010 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    In RMMD, not only has the kindly old lady lost a week’s receipts from the beauty salon, but the untouchable criminal currently being pursued by the Phantom has, in an unrelated storyline, bilked her out of her life savings (*In the Dari tongue).

  344. Anonymous
    May 16th, 2010 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    @Sparky AKA Able Bodied Seaman Craggy Fjord (#316):

    I doubt it’d be both. Someone would have to be pretty desperate to rape Les, and they’d eventually get tired of him telling them the correct way to do it (“No, that’s not’re not using the brand of duct tape that Lisa used!” ).

  345. Jason1981
    May 16th, 2010 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Oops, post 344 was me. Forgot to put my user name.

  346. Poteet
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

  347. Calico
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#306):
    BTW, I know Terry Jacks wrote that song…! : D
    But so apropos for KC.

  348. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#253): Comics re-enactment? How much Potato-Ade will that take? (Hint: More if it involves interpretive dance; not enough Potato-Ade in the world for a full-on Rusty.)

    I do a mean Margo, though—but I guess “mean Margo” is a redundancy.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#260): Excellent!

    @AhClem (#299): Wait—large quantities of shoe purchases act as meddlebait? Oh dear…..

    @Écureuil Écumant (#327): I believe I can supply those stinkbugs, along with the stray giant hopping spider cricket. Put your order in now!

  349. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    Mid-Atlanticon looming deadlines! I’ll need to get a final number to Cap City in the next day or so, so if you’d like to come to the snark event of the season, please drop me a note at

    And Écureuil Écumant will need all t-shirt orders in by early this week, so let me know if you want to order one (if you check the discussion boards, you ‘ll find a link to the image so you can DIY).

  350. zerowolf
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#323): And at A3G wardrobe department, 1967 is still a decade away…..

  351. zerowolf
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    FC: Nothing readers need more on a Sunday morning is bitter disillusionment to prepare them for the coming week.

  352. zerowolf
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    Lockhorns: At least at the bottom of Pandora’s Box there was hope.

  353. Jamus The Bartender
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @Ukulele Ike (#337): They’re gonna get a room later. Then film it. Then invite Amos. Then Amos will get a stroke, and not in a good way. Trust me.

  354. zerowolf
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    Slylock: Is it really forgery to create something that doesn’t look like the original? Since I (like age group this strip is targeting) do not hold a PHd. in dromedary taxonomy, I would have looked at a picture of the original and compared it to the two completely non-alike paintings But that would have been far too easy and logical.

  355. Black Drazon
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone here read Animal Crackers? It’s been years for me too. Not much to really look back on, but I suppose there are a few fond childhood memories here and there. Good times. Anyway, in today’s strip we see the last thing the gazelles did before they watched their children be eaten alive by cheetahs.

  356. dale
    May 16th, 2010 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    @zerowolf (#354):
    Slylock: Having been told that one painting was a copy of the other, my first thought was along the line of: can he tell by the age or type of paint?
    Then, knowing which type of camel is which, the answer was obvious.
    Why would Koppy steal the original unless he needed to take precise measurements (and avoid this sort of problem)?

  357. John C Fremont
    May 16th, 2010 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#347): Fun fact! (I found this out during a previous earworm discussion here.) “Seasons In The Sun” began life as “Le Moriband” by Jacques Brel. Excuse the video, but The Kingston Trio did an earlier English version.

    I know, I know, up until a year or so ago I blamed Terry for that song. But the original is pretty cool. And Kurt’s version is so poignant.

  358. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 16th, 2010 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#297) Re: HotC— Yeah, Dean in today’s strip was me in the 8th grade. My nickname in those days was “Neuman”, hence my blog name. I’d like to think that I’ve grown up since then, but… naahh.

    BTW, Tatulli did a nice job on the MAD cover with a pretty good rendition of what looks like a Kelly Freas painting of you-know-who.

  359. Jack Parsons
    May 17th, 2010 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    Hey, Mark: if you feed a horse with your hand like that, he’ll bite off your thumb.

    As to A3G: by the Law Of Return To Status Quo, Luann’s new balls will be removed by the end of the storyline.

    BC: given the usual social mores in primitive societies, making someone a bloody bride is the most valued of all creations.

  360. zerowolf
    May 17th, 2010 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @dale (#356): Since the two paintings are obviously different my best guess is that Koppy Kat is to art forgery as Bergholt Stuttley “Bloody Stupid” Johnson is to architecture.

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