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But … but … where will John’s trains be moved to?

For Better Or For Worse, 8/30/06

Never has the flabby make-it-up-as-you-go-along nature of the Foobian plot been on display as nakedly as it is here. I mean: How far away is Liz’s apartment from her parents’ house that she would considering moving back there to shave a little off her commute? And she’s been back down south for, what, three months now? Don’t they have leases in Canada, or are Pattersons just allowed to break them with impunity? And doesn’t Ellie have any say over whether her totally adult and self-sufficient daughter decides to up and move back in, or is she just going to go on with the passive “It’ll happen if it happens” attitude? These are questions that I want answered. In return, I’ll answer April’s question about why Liz wouldn’t want to move back home: it’s because she’s, like, 26, and living at home when you’re 26 and have a job is for looooooosers.

Dennis the Menace, 8/30/06

Speaking of losers, Dennis is continuing his trend of eschewing menacing, preferring instead to hone his floral-themed dinner-table bon mots. It actually took me about 45 seconds to grasp the “bud”-”blossom” wordplay going on here, and I finally only got the joke because of the presence of the rose on the dinner table, which I assume was intentional. Note to cartoonists: If you need to put in a visual aid to forward the cause of a pun in your comic, your pun needs work.

Slylock Fox, 8/30/06

Apparently it’s terrified prey week in Slylock Fox. As if the terrified beaver wasn’t traumatizing enough, check out the discarded ribcage, presumably of one of his family members, next to the crocodile on dry land. Today’s scene of the savagery of nature provides a backdrop for a true/false quiz. “True or False: Sometimes things that are cute and basically good die in agony for so that something more powerful and vicious can survive. (Answer: So very true!)”

196 responses to “But … but … where will John’s trains be moved to?”

  1. Chris
    August 30th, 2006 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    Why does Dennis have that cushion on his chair? Has he had some serious rectal surgery? Maybe by Margaret, after she whipped his ass the other day.

    Disturbing.

    Spiderman is becoming so brain burstingly bad that it’s approaching brilliance, by the way.

    Three days and I haven’t seen an Aldo-lookalike…feeling much better….

  2. Blueline
    August 30th, 2006 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    I guess I won’t mention how I almost moved back home at 26 and with a job…

  3. Jim Anderson
    August 30th, 2006 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    “Nature red in tooth and claw” never looked so cute.

    (Just wait until the cannibal shark fetus comic appears.)

  4. Reid
    August 30th, 2006 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    Remember when Dennis Mitchell was a malevolent, dangerous force of nature? Now, he’s just a step up from those nancy-boy Family Circus kids.

    http://www.reidaboutit.com

  5. 12802 crackers
    August 30th, 2006 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    FBoFW: Where does April get her cheesy clothing, at a consignment store that services Bulgarian peasants? And April didn’t stun Elly with logic, Elly was too polite to say “Liz’ll move out when I say she will, or I’ll rip her muff off her cooter and make her wear it as a boa.” The plot is really tripe.
    As for Dennis the Menace, the only menacing thing is that we’ll be molested with this imbecility for years to come. Here’s an argument for ending all comic strips after 10 years, max. Bill Watterson had the courage to do it with Calvin and Hobbes, why not others that draw intellectual cheez-wiz like DtM, Peanuts, BC, etc.
    In Slylock Fox, that isn’t a beaver, it’s a brown Manx cat that is extruding a huge wad of dookie. Oh, the obscenity hidder in our comics today!

  6. beezie
    August 30th, 2006 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    April’s comment in the 4th panel clearly indicates she’s planning her own “Failure to Launch” in about 10 years or so. It’s gonna take a stick of dynamite to get her out of the Patterson house– and with Mom and Dad eyeing the tiny one-bedroom house down the street, in anticipation of their dual retirement, she’s in for a rude awakening. I can hardly wait!

  7. Monkey's Paw
    August 30th, 2006 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    5 to 1 says Elizabeth moves back into her old room at home.
    10 to 1 her mountie lover gets bored with her whining and does some grab-ass in the frosty north.
    20 to 1 Blanthony makes an appearance by the end of next week.

    Gentlemen, place your bets.

  8. 12802 crackers
    August 30th, 2006 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    In MW, it’s getting to be a battle of the titans! Aldo is doing the “I crush your head” thing in panel two, while Mary’s voice seems to be totally lacking in inflection, indicating that she’s gonna whale on him good, maybe throw a flying elbow on him from the top of the garden bench and commit him to a wheelchair for eternity. And can anyone tell me why Aldo has to wear red, white and blue every day?! Does he have, like, 37 RWaB leisure suits from Captain Kangaroo’s closet?
    A3G: Poor Luann, she’s been the victim of a one-week-stand, it looks like. Twenty-second time this year, isn’t it? Bimbos never learn.
    MT: Mark has cool eyebrows. He must go through a gallon of Maybelline eyelash thickener on those brows every week. Also, look at the sheriff’s badge: it’s so distorted that it looks like a crude hand extending “the finger.”

  9. Louie Louie
    August 30th, 2006 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    More information about crocodiles can be found on the internet.

  10. Louie Louie
    August 30th, 2006 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    More information about crocodiles can be found on the internet.

  11. 12802 crackers
    August 30th, 2006 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    Monkey’s Paw, you’re right. I was thinking that Liz’s BF would be getting some native poontang from that babe he was playing grabass with up in Bugtussle, Canada. That opens up the door for Blanthony (nice name) to nail Liz again. She’ll learn to love the brat that wasn’t even fathered by him.

  12. Firefox
    August 30th, 2006 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    As a proud, red-blooded Canadian, I can say that our “beloved” beavers are not always good. In fact, they can be very destructive to the environments where they live. Kind of like the burgeoning populations of Canada Geese, who literally can make freshwater bodies unswimmable with the sheer volume of their waste.

    Hmm, I’m beginning to see a developing pattern with our national symbols…

  13. Joe Kickass
    August 30th, 2006 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    I know this is lame, but I have trouble being interested in comics that don’t have Aldo in them.

  14. Dingo
    August 30th, 2006 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    Firefox, when you write of troublesome Canadian beavers, are you referring to April and Liz in For Better or For Worse?

  15. Marc
    August 30th, 2006 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    The site where I get my midnight comic fix (azcentral.com) has discontinued A3G AND MARK TRAIL!!! Where can I get my midnight comic fix for those comics now?

    MW – I hope the police are in her apartment waiting to cuff him up..while he goes “This is quite erotic Mary, where did you find such good actors?”

    SF – Ted is pulling a semi-Mary (AUGH!). I would have liked to see A-AUGH! though…

    TDIET – I’m sorry, but I think this is in the days when my grandparents were dating…

  16. Poteet
    August 30th, 2006 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    #7 — 15 to 1 that Mike and Dee will end up buying the current Foob mansion using income from his soon-to-be bestseller (pause to get gag reflex under control) and her job, which we never actually see because pharmacy is so very dull and unimportant compared to the fascinating vital careers of the genetic Patterson offspring. As for the other predictions, I do believe Monkey’s Paw is right. And I look forward to the grab-ass.

  17. dan b
    August 30th, 2006 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    wow, as frightened as the beaver looks that frog sure looks happy in the Slycock Fox…

    furthermore, who threw that poor beaver to the most evil looking crocodile ever?

  18. cap’n underpants
    August 30th, 2006 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    So, wait ….am I given to understand that having a ‘real’ job and moving back in with the parents at 26 is for losers?
    Hmmm….. Count me in!

    2 Reasons: No outstanding school loans or credit cards, and money in the bank!

    But then, I’m not a FOOB, and will be back on my own again in a few months …debt-free and hungry. (No vats of Mac ‘n Cheese for me!)

  19. Anonymous
    August 30th, 2006 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    Yes, today was a fine Pluggers, albeit with an overly strained phrasing that could have used some work, in that the Plugger is actually out there plugging away, and getting by with old-fashioned, non-electric technology. But, more important, it confirms what we probably all knew about pluggers instinctively: “women” pluggers do the laundry, while “men” pluggers are off making money (or bartering for pigs, or something like that). The anomalous working “woman” leaves her child with Grandma during the day to keep the youngun on the right track, as we learned a few weeks ago.

  20. rubin
    August 31st, 2006 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    Leases in Canada – yes, as a renter in Canada I can assure you that one-year leases are fairly common in Ontario. However, you can also often find rental properties that just rent month to month. This are usually lower end properties, such as the on Elizabeth is currently enjoying. Seeing as she did not know what her situation was going to be come September, she may have been wise to seek out such an arrangement.

  21. htr
    August 31st, 2006 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    have they ever had slylock himself prey on some rodent?

  22. amoosebitmysister
    August 31st, 2006 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    Hey I loved Spiderman’s AMAZING explanation of why loverboy was able to sneak up behind him – he didn’t think that guy did it! Didn’t the guy who writes this (It can’t actually be Stan Lee) ever read Spiderman, or at least have his powers explained to him?

  23. ben
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:34 am [Reply]

    The revolving-door system of vulpine justice is a disgrace. No matter how often Slylock tracks Count Weirdly down and proves his guilt, he’s out hatching another nefarious scheme within the week.

    Of course, usually the crimes involved are of the magnitude of selling a solar-powered clothes dryer, so perhaps the real issue here is foxual harrassment. Or maybe Slylock is stalking Count Weirdly. Next week, Slylock Fox slashfic.

    Also — straight wooden clothes pins? Are Pluggers Amish?

  24. AppleGirl
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:52 am [Reply]

    JP – “OK, Raju, we’re all going shopping! Get dressed!” Um, he looks like he’s dressed to me. Of course we only see him from the waist up. Maybe there’s something they’re not showing us?

    JP (again) – So many outstretched palms-up hands! Every panel! Oh, those horrible hands, they’re all I can see!

  25. Treadwell
    August 31st, 2006 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    Okay, so Raju has had a hair improvement. He still has no chin and a gigantic schnoz.

    Make THOSE over, girls!

  26. Mumblix Grumph
    August 31st, 2006 at 3:51 am [Reply]

    God, I miss the old Dennis The Menace from the 1950′s. I laughed my ass off when he turned Mr. Wilson in to the FBI for being a Communist.

  27. Mibbitmaker
    August 31st, 2006 at 4:08 am [Reply]

    8/31:

    A3G: Oh, go on, Tommie. Break up that marriage right now. You’ll make Liz Patterson VERY happy!

    Adam: Rename leftovers after planets? Well, I guess the ‘Pluto Platter’ is out!

    BBailey: Wow, even when Sarge is completely off the scale, in mid-air, offering no pressure on the thing whatsoever, it *still* registers at 185 lbs.? Wow!

    (DT)GT: I guess Ben Franklin is wise after all. (?!)

    FW: “Gone totally Nabisco”?? FW is stealing the FOOBs’ thunder. Quick, get April P for a lame-pseudo-slang-off.

    FC: The ‘Sick’ Humor of Billy Keane (available on eBay)(okay, not really)

    FOOB: Tomorrow: John: “Well, there’s only one thing to do!” (he goes into a closet, emerging carrying a shotgun. NObody gets between Doc P and his trains!)

    GF: No, Bucky; it’s more like: “Listen, you demon spawn of Johnny Damon and Martha Stewart” (Damon spawn?) Guess which baseball region I come from…

    Curtis: So, Michelle was, indeed, being out-of-character nice to Curtis like she never is. It’s her dopelgangers that’ve been mean to him just slightly more than the real girl usually is, but somehow they are the unusual ones, and…. um….. (now MY head’s bobbling!) Well, who else but Michelle to be enough of a megalomaniac to have Saddam-like lookalikes?

    H&L: More reasons your superhero band-aids aren’t so super: their Spidey-sense sucks!

  28. Anonymous
    August 31st, 2006 at 4:21 am [Reply]

    Yo Josh,

    Beavers are ‘basically good’ whereas crocodilians are “vicious”?! Don’t fall into the Disney trap of demonizing the carnivorous animal and canonising the herbivores, guy…Reptiles can be just as cute as mammals, and a Komodo Dragon has to eat to survive just as a koala does…

    btw- 20 foot crocodiles?! Amateurs! Here Down Under, the record is 32 feet. LAKE PLACID is classified as a documentary here!!

    Wirrrn

  29. Damian P.
    August 31st, 2006 at 5:07 am [Reply]

    TDIET: “Ultraest”?

  30. Von Zeppelin
    August 31st, 2006 at 5:34 am [Reply]

    Tracy—God, the suspense! We will have at least a couple of weeks or more before Diet Smith discloses whatever this bigger-than-the-atomic-bomb thing is. And, as I wondered back when the character was introduced 40 years ago, what the hell kind of a name is “Diet,” anyway? Finally, Messrs. Tracy and Smith apparently have their eyebrows done by the same makeup guy who used to paint on Groucho’s mustache.

    Fillmore–Even more pathetic than needing a visual aid to explain a pun is requiring numbered bullet points and a footnote to explain your incomprehensible diatribe. Apparently the something-or-other Media Research Center has a vast archive of unrebuked celebrity anti-Christian slurs. A profound theological question: if you are a Christian duck, do you need to be baptized?

  31. Anonymous
    August 31st, 2006 at 5:50 am [Reply]

    MW-RUN ALDO!
    Didn’t you see Goodfellows?
    Toby is inside getting ready to go Joe Pesci on your Kangaroo ass!!

  32. lesles
    August 31st, 2006 at 5:52 am [Reply]

    what i want to know is what is a beaver doing in egypt or australia? last i knew, beavers and crocs had habitats seperated by about ten thousand kilometers. maybe that’s why beaver’s so freaked.

    more information about crocs can be found by swimming in northern australia.

  33. Sheila
    August 31st, 2006 at 6:02 am [Reply]

    I’ve been wondering since I was a child: What kind of a name is “Diet”, anyway? Is it pronounced like the reducing plan, or like the bug spray?

  34. Ben
    August 31st, 2006 at 6:09 am [Reply]

    This FBoW reminds me of something I’ve been noticing alot more recently – Shouldn’t April’s last comment be followed by a question mark, not a period? It’s been urking me that Lynn seems to like asking questions in her dialogue, yet they’re apparently of some rhetorical nature, since they often end in periods. If I’m misunderstanding something about punctuation and making a total foob of myself please forgive me. I’ve just been wondering about it

  35. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    August 31st, 2006 at 6:24 am [Reply]

    The hot cup of coffee in his dad’s hand and the ease with which he could be backhanded right out of that chair are the only things keeping Dennis from complimenting his mother’s FABULOUS floral centerpiece. Further foreshadowing an eventual future where Dennis owns a small book store, lives in a loft apartment with Joey (who’s a dancer/waiter) and is constantly hassled by strident lesbian Margaret for not being more active in the gay community.

  36. 10-96
    August 31st, 2006 at 6:35 am [Reply]

    About Dennis:

    His taste buds might be bloomin’, but will his balls ever drop?

  37. Sheila
    August 31st, 2006 at 6:50 am [Reply]

    Ben, I’m sure you meant “erking” :-)

  38. NJP
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:01 am [Reply]

    22, I can’t believe I’ve devoted even a minute to thinking about this, but maybe, Spider-Man’s spider sense constantly buzzes when he’s in a dangerous situation, and he was already confronting actress/suspected explosives expert Narna LeMarr. He would have figured that she was the one who was going to try to cause him harm.

    As for why he can’t break through chains that Hugo probably bought for 99¢ per foot at Home Depot, I have no idea.

  39. smacky
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:12 am [Reply]

    # 31: I was thinking the same thing. This has to be part of Toby’s “plan” though I imagine that even if it wasn’t, Mary would rather be killed in her own apartment by her stalker than have to suffer the embarrassment of another public shouting match with Aldo. After all, your neighbors’ opinion of you is more important than your safety.

    Toby’s upstairs with the corpse of Aldo’s first wife. I’m sure the corpse fits into her plan somehow.

  40. Franklin
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    I’m fascinated by Mr. Menace’s tribal wrist tattoo. I always thought he was such a square. Maybe it’s a signal that he’s going to bust out, move to a loft in the city, and try to make a living producing collage art.

  41. BigJoe
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:41 am [Reply]

    #33: What kind of a name is “Diet”, anyway?

    Easy, it stands for Do It Every Time. The characters’ names in that strip are always very descriptive, so he’s just a super consistent person. And says things like, “Howzit? “Wha-a-ah?” “Oh yeah!”

  42. TheMagicMel
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    All I know, is there is a pissed off half naked gypsy & clown somewhere vying for April’s blood.

    The upstairs neighbors will be too much for Mike & Deanna, & they’ll move back as well; the elderly sweet man down the street will kick & the street will become Foob Avenue. Dudley DooChin will hook up with his Northern Nooky, Lizardbreath will twirl her fingers through the brushtache, and April will open her own roadside heavy metal brothel. All other neighbors will run screaming from the frumpy gentrification, and it will be nothing but tappa tappa, clicka clacka For Evah and Eva.

    *Retch*

  43. TheMagicMel
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    All I know, is there is a pissed off half naked gypsy & clown somewhere vying for April’s blood.

    The upstairs neighbors will be too much for Mike & Deanna, & they’ll move back as well; the elderly sweet man down the street will kick & the street will become Foob Avenue. Dudley DooChin will hook up with his Northern Nooky, Lizardbreath will twirl her fingers through the brushtache, and April will open her own roadside heavy metal brothel. All other neighbors will run screaming from the frumpy gentrification, and it will be nothing but tappa tappa, clicka clacka For Evah and Eva.

    *SPEW*

  44. Pozzo
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    34 & 37: Maybe “irking?”

    As to Diet Smith, remember that DT also has (or had, I haven’t read the strip in about 35 years, this site aside) a character named Vitamin Flintheart. Evidently, Chester Gould was on a health kick circa 1946, and it found voice through his strip.

    Oh, and I moved back in with my folks at the age of 33, after a bad relationship left me with five cents in the bank (but I still had a job, so I was able to move out a year later).

  45. Krazy Kat
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Addendum
    I just realized I logged on as Anonymous in #31
    Sorry, tis I, Krazy Kat, still getting the hang of the finer points of CC life.
    …and wishing everyone a wonderful day

  46. TheMagicMel
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    Ok, so I don’t know how I double posted before I was done tweaking my comment, Josh, is there a comment gremlin today????

  47. johnw
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    Check out April in panel #1 of FOOB… she’s sprouting the characteristic hevy-duty hips of the Patterson woman.

    You know, the sad thing about FOOB is it used to be a lot better. When Lynn Johnston started the strip, it was pretty much another “Rose is Rose” type — harmless domestic strip with the usual kids-and-parents bumbling. Then she started creating story arcs that often had some bite to them. The death of Farley, and Lawrence’s coming out of the closet, for example, were truly excellent. Even more pedestrian threads like the maturation of Gordon, or Mike’s early adventures as a writer, were very well done.

    But in the last few years, the strip has gotten as flabby as a Patterson thigh. Slow-moving, lazy storytelling, long reaches for unfunny puns, an almost single-minded focus on the Patterson clan as opposed to the supporting cast.

    I do give credit to Lynn Johnston for a really good run. She did something unique in what’s usually a hackneyed corner of the comics world: the family strip. Her creative peak was much longer than most artists’ — but now, she’s playing out the string like a star athlete hanging on for one more season. I don’t begrudge her; she’s earned the right to go out on her own terms. If there’s a Comics Hall of Fame, she belongs in it.

  48. Summerhouse
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    Rex Morgan’s emphasis is odd today. “Did you TELL her about the note?”

    Police officer: No. I did an interpretive dance about the note, why?

  49. Ben
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    Personally, I always assumed it was one of those made up words to substitute for “irritated” so I assumed there was no proper spelling. But I guess it being a derivative makes sense. Pozzo got it right

  50. smacky
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Summerhouse: How about Mark Trail’s response today: “I think that was Buck’s PET bear!”

    As opposed to his what?

  51. Craigers
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    it’s because she’s, like, 26, and living at home when you’re 26 and have a job is for looooooosers

    Daaaaamn, I wish someone would tell that to my sister-in-law. Maybe it’s a Canadian thing.

    By the way, johnw in #47 : brilliantly said.

    “men” pluggers are off making money (or bartering for pigs, or something like that)

    A Plugger investment counsellor is a mysterious man wanting to sell you some magic beans.

  52. anonymous
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    #47, I so agree with you. In spite of all the piling on the Foobs that we, and other sites, do, I have to admit I will miss this strip when it ends (with Liz + Granthony getting hitched “for better or for worse”, I would bet my firstborn on it). Every day there’s something new and irritating to pick apart, and I’ll miss it!

  53. Ran
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    Dennis is sitting on a cushion because Dad and him just had a ‘session’ and he’s trying to get back into the good with mom after telling grandma about how mom and dad like to play ‘dress-up’ after they put him to bed.

    More disturbing in Slylock is imminent eye splattering croc # 2 is about to receive.

  54. Hogenmogen
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    Today’s Mark Trail: The bear didn’t “take off for the woods.” She’s right there, you blind moron. That guy with the rifle should be following the bear in between the bear and Mark, but he’s just using his stealth technology / Romulan cloaking device / Harry Potter blanket of invisibility or something.

    Anyway, the bear went “into the woods.” Woods? Everywhere that we see Mark and Ranger Rick, it looks like the surface of the moon.

  55. Maynard
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    “Crocodiles are strictly freshwater reptiles.”

    Not only is Slylock Fox terrifying the nation’s youth–he’s teaching them pernicious lies. Someone needs to introduce him to a Crocodylus porosus a.k.a. the saltwater crocodile. It inhabits brackish water along estuaries and coastlines. The world’s lagest and deadliest croc, it could tear a small, overeducated canine to shreds in seconds.

  56. Brian Schlosser
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    #5: Lumping Peanuts in with BC and DtM is like putting a Monet next to a Thomas Kincaid poster.
    Sparky Schultz at his worst was better than 95% of the other comic strippers at their best. There is a reason Watterson, Breathed and Larson all hail him as a personal idol…

    Now, on to Mallard Fillmore: Look you wretched waterfowl, a scribbled “footnote” crammed into the corner is not proof. It isn’t even evidence. It’s crap. Why pull your punch? Why not draw one of you trademark racist/ethnic stereotype caricatures of one of the celebs who made the alleged anti-Christian slurs? Oh, that’s right, because you know that what you and your lunatic wingnut brethren consider a “slur” is usually something along the lines of “We should respect all religions” or “Maybe not all Muslims should be shot on sight”.

    If you can provide me with a celebrity as well known as Mel Gibson who said something as scurrilous about Christians as he did about Jews, I’ll eat your fat engorged liver along with your roasted breast coated in orange sauce.

    A win-win for me, though, really.

  57. Hogenmogen
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    TDIET isn’t ironic or anything. This week the theater is showing the greatest movie ever produced. Next week, the movie industry breaks its own record and produces an even greater flick. It makes logical sense. The reality is that the movie industry sucks but the marketing industry continually improves its mining of the English language for superlative adjectives.

  58. Craigers
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:48 am [Reply]

    The Snarcasm for 8/31…

    9CL : Not only do I love Brooke McEldowney’s loopy drawing style… but a Laurel and Hardy reference! It is to die for. Now just make more funny.

    A3G : That third panel is one of the most neurotic things I’ve ever read.

    BF : Seriously, I cannot believe that women haven’t burned down the office where this thing is drawn yet. I’m waiting for the storyline about how women can’t drive next.

    FOOB : Quit poking me there, you fooboid hellspawn! You’re not getting any tonight!

    (DT)GT : If the conclusion to this storyline involves hugging, please don’t tell me about it. I’m taking an enforced seven-day hiatus from Gil Thorp until I know it’s safe. But before I go, damn Ben Franklin has an enormous gut in panel one. You could bounce on that thing like a trampoline.

    HtH : Hagar must be fifteen kinds of stupid if he thinks that the bottle the toothless guy sold him with a cork stuck halfway out of it and “XXX” on the label contains 10-year-old Scotch.

    MW : The faces in panel two look positively cubistic. Mary’s got a look on her face like a sneering Mafia don; Aldo’s got one eye bigger and higher than the other and the left side of his face is all droopy. Maybe he’s suffered a stroke from an excess of passionate whining.

    PBS : I needed a laugh this morning, and I finally got one.

    SF : “Oh dear”… “my husband really is a pathetic girl”.

    Shoe : Recycled Seinfeld gag, word for word. Minus 25,000 points.

    TDIET : I can see the advertising for the TDIET Movie : “They’ll Do It Every Time! Now in theaters! It’s… good!”

    Ziggy : You misspelled “comic”, dumbass.

  59. rich
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    I was totally confused by Liz moving every few months and was forced to check her monthly letters to make sense of it.

    Apparently in July she moved back for a summer teaching job in Toronto (which we never saw), living in an apartment on a floor with other single teachers (who we never saw) and now, after a few months, is leaving to be closer to her fall teaching job in Milborough (where the parents live).

    Wouldn’t it have been easier to have had her move into the family house in July, and skip all this pointless confusion? Or left her up north until September? I have only so many brain cells to devote to this trivia, after all.

    BTW, new monthly Foob letters, coming soon. Maybe at long last, it will all make sense.

  60. cheech wizard
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Craigers –

    You indeed perform a valuable service with your keen analysis of Moldovian religious iconography in Archie. These insights have informed much fruitful debate among my fellow Initiates in our Neo-Illuminati Study Group and we look forward to the publication of your findings as a Ph.D. thesis, or perhaps in a peer-reviewed journal? (Which, come to think of it, is sort of what this is)

    But we are distressed and confused by your assertion last week that the 8/24 Archie was of no significance. Indeed, doth Hot Dog not represent the Beast of Revelation? And Jughead, representing the Church/Archbishop, seeks to subdue him, yet without the aid of Archie/Christ, who stands nearby? Instead, Jughead seeks to rely on his own strength and by the Beast is dismay’d. Clearly, is not the message is that we cannot hope to prevail against the Beast unless Archie stands with us? Please clarify.

  61. blacknosugar
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Pearls Before Swine….bacon?? Bacon???!!! WTF? He’s a pig, right? I’m so lost. Maybe he wished three times for some sweet, pig ass. That’s all I can think of.

    TDIET. This guys has to be about a hundred years old to write that strip.

  62. Anonymous
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    25. A gigantic schnoz? Wow, I mean…

    Oh wait, schnoz means nose.

  63. blacknosugar
    August 31st, 2006 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    61 continued. Or maybe some sweet, smokin’ pig ass. Sorry, the joke was only half formed.

  64. Hogenmogen
    August 31st, 2006 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Elmo on Blondie offers up a very disturbing look at his family. Judging by the comments, anyone who contributes to the Dysfunctional Family Circus (I don’t have a handy link) must think the entire family sharing a bed is quite normal, but I don’t. At least it explains why he’s always seeking shelter at the very inane and saccharine Bumstead household.

  65. Hogenmogen
    August 31st, 2006 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Further analysis into Blondie’s very disturbing revelation: Third panel – Dagwood is so alarmed that he stops playing with himself.

  66. R
    August 31st, 2006 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    4- “Remember when Dennis Mitchell was a malevolent, dangerous force of nature?”

    Nope.

  67. johnw
    August 31st, 2006 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    Liz’s lost summer is a good example of FOOB’s flabby storytelling of late. Lynn Johnston used to follow through with a story arc; now she seems to bat them around a bit and then abandon them, like a cat with a short attention span.

    Take April’s “summer” on the farm, which lasted about a week. She has this supposedly formative experience, declares that the focus of her life has been changed, is appalled that it takes six years to become a vet… and that’s the end of it.

    Compare April’s teen love life with those of Michael and Liz. The latter had some content and humanity, whatever you think of Blanthony. The former makes a brief cameo once in a while, then disappears for months and months. It’s been how long since April’s first kiss, she’s apparently been going with Gerald ever since, and we still have no clue about his personality. There is nothing distinctive about him, unlike Blanthony or that checkout girl Mike used to hang with.

    God, I know way too much about comic strips. No wonder I can’t remember my ATM’s PIN.

  68. rich
    August 31st, 2006 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    66: Oh, DTM was pretty dark in its early days (for that matter, so was Peanuts).

    I’m sure you could find some of the early ’50s strips posted online — I did find a couple reprinted on this person’s page (scroll down a bit). (I like the one about biting people — )

    http://www.wondermark.com/tcsd/stripdoc_9.html

  69. Craigers
    August 31st, 2006 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    doth Hot Dog not represent the Beast of Revelation? And Jughead, representing the Church/Archbishop, seeks to subdue him, yet without the aid of Archie/Christ, who stands nearby? Instead, Jughead seeks to rely on his own strength and by the Beast is dismay’d. Clearly, is not the message is that we cannot hope to prevail against the Beast unless Archie stands with us? Please clarify.

    You have given me much to consider. I must cloister myself for a fortnight to meditate upon the implications of what you have presented me.

    It is possible, however, that the giant hot dog represents not the Beast of Revelation itself, but only the lips, tripe and generative organs of the same.

    In the meantime, I will point to only one aspect of the 8/31 Archie to consider… Jughead, the instantiation of the Moldavian Orthodox Church, says in Panel Two “I have written nothing.” There is a deeper message here connected with the subtext of the Archie messages; I hope to determine what it is in days to come. Could it be the first inklings of a split between the active members of the Cabal itself and the Church’s power structure?

  70. Andrew
    August 31st, 2006 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Did anyone else see today’s (Thursday’s) “Pearls Before Swine”? Does anyone else find it disturbing that Pig used his three wishes on three packages of bacon, implying porcine cannibalism?

  71. Mystery N
    August 31st, 2006 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    Discussion moved to this Cockpit thread:

    joshreads.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=618

  72. rich
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Here are a few more vintage Dennis strips.

  73. Rob H.
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    “Does anyone else find it disturbing that Pig used his three wishes on three packages of bacon, implying porcine cannibalism?”

    If bacon is wished for, does it actually come from a slaughtered pig?

  74. Jeanne
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    I know this is off topic, but today’s Get Fuzzy is classic, in view of the fact that the IRS is now going to tax gift bags for celebrities.
    Did Darby have enough lead time to write this in response to the news or is it a delicious serendipity?
    Josh, I see a new line of merchandise stating “The gift bag is Sacred!!”

  75. Craigers
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    Did Darby have enough lead time to write this in response to the news

    Definitely. This has been a news item for weeks.

    If bacon is wished for, does it actually come from a slaughtered pig?

    More information about the physics of wish-fulfillment can be found on the Internet.

  76. Craigers
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    However, just so that there’s no confusion, wished-for bacon comes from the disembowelled corpses of cartoon beavers, by the Freshwater Crocodile Beaver Bacon Corporation.

    Mmmmmm…. beaver… mmmm… bacon…

  77. ohyes
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    Poor Tommie should see a doctor about curvature of the spine, which leaves her always bent and almost always wincing in pain. (She did smile when Gina blurted out the professor’s sarcastic thoughts about Margo.) It’s apparently a contagious condition; a remarkable A3G panel the other day showed all three roommates suffering with head-bent pain.

    Tommie should know that she will never be with Ted. It took but one tepid dinner, with no expression of honest feeling or glimpse of passionate longing, for him to realize that he’d never be involved with Tommie. He’s already moved on, toward women and worlds unmet, a new future. Tommie and Ted may never dine together again. He’ll always remember her (from time to time) as a friend to him and Lucy, back in the days when they were married.

    But poor Tommie does knows that. She’s mourning her lost, illicit hopes for Ted.

  78. Anonymous
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    59: Let me get this straight– FOOB is like a college lecture now; I have to do the reading before class to make any sense out of it?

  79. Ooten Aboot
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Franklin (#40): Either that or he’s still wearing a wrist watch with an expansion bracelet instead of tuning in the U.S. Naval Observatory on his favorite MPEG media player.

    Andrew (#70): Of course it’s disturbing – it’s PBS. No, not that PBS, the other PBS.

  80. Keats Heart Loren
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Is Ellie huffing on a skinny blunt in the first three frames? No wonder she’s stunned by the logic. “Like, don’t we all, like, live at home? Wow. Man.”

  81. cheech wizard
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    69 – Indeed. Perhaps it is all tripe. There are many who believe this.

  82. Hogenmogen
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    Funky doesn’t seem to be making much sense these days. They started a conversation indoors, and then they’re magically on top of a band stand.

    “Totally Nabisco”? Crackers? Cookies? She’s an Oreo? Her mother is black on the outside and white in the middle? Isn’t that Joe from Jumpstart?

    Anyhoo, “faith based costumes” – I don’t remember exactly where I read it, but I heard that in some parts of the country, you aren’t allowed to dress like a priest or nun on Halloween because that would be impersonating a religious authority or some other crap. When I went to high school, some guy was thrown out for dressing like a pregnant nun. Is that faith-based enough for you?

    Oh, and speaking of Jumpstart, and relating to the Bernice/guy in wheelchair not seeing her new glasses conversation from yesterday – Joe from jumpstart had a problem with his wife when he didn’t recognize that his wife got a new haircut. Safe Havens has a character in a wheelchair.

    More information about disabilities and people who don’t notice changes in their significant other’s appearance can be found….

    …yeah, you know where to find it.

  83. rich
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Funky W.: Okay, yesterday’s “faith-based majorette costumes” was kind of a cute phrase, but now it turns that out she was serious? What does that mean?? (I guess it’s safe to assume it’s not like “the emperor’s new clothes.”)

    “My mom has gone totally Nabisco”? Who is One Arm’s mom anyway, should we know this? I’ve been picturing Brent Raptor’s Dorito-flavored mom. (Hmm…does Nabisco own Doritos?)

    Now all this time I thought Stubby worked at the pizza place, but now she’s assisting the band jerk? God, I hate this strip.

    “We’re a marching band, not a praise band.” I had to google “praise band” to see if there was some sort of pun there. Nope — there really are things called praise bands. Foolish me, searching for a joke in FW.

    Speaking of one arm, Ben Franklin is doing one-armed pushups in today’s Gil Thorp.

  84. Scaduto Youth
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    #61: WTF indeed, though Pig’s food choice is not unprecedented in the medium. I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen Uncle Scrooge sit Donald and his nephews down for a big chicken dinner in Disney comics.

    More information about anthropomorphic cartoon cannibalism can be found on the internet.

  85. Hogenmogen
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:47 am [Reply]

    Doritos are owned by Frito-Lay, which I think is still part of Pepsico.

  86. Hogenmogen
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    Remember when widdle Mewedif Patterson was sick on FBOFW? No? You weren’t born yet? Well, it was last winter. By now she’s surely dead.

    Rex’s kid was also sick, but due to the cryogenic pace of Rex, the past 6 months of strips have really been only about 24 hours in Rextime (and I’m not even being sarcastic).

  87. Hogenmogen
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    My interpretation of the above Slylock Fox is that the beaver stepped on a land-based species of electric eel, and has been shocked. The Crocodile is laughing at the beaver’s plight.

  88. Brian Schlosser
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    #84 Scrooge McDuck and family eating a chicken is not cannibalism, it’s more akin to a human eating a gibbon.

    Besides, it is a long standing rule in the Disneyverse that anthropomorphic animals have the right to control non-anthropomorphic animals, a la the great Goofy/Pluto dichotomy.

    BTW, wasn’t this cannibalism idea discussed about Shoe a while back? I’m too lazy to look it up.

  89. Sigivald
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    That’s okay – in the online version of today’s FBORW, they have animated blinking.

    That’s right. BLINKING.

    Take that, daily papers!

  90. Paul James
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Has Mary Worth suddenly gotten about 15 yrs younger or is it just me? Gotta like that sassy jungle shirt she has going on. Also, Aldo now appears to be looking more like the hunchback of Notre Dame.

  91. rich
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    86: Actually, it was their son/daughter Robin who was sick (“Robin? Such a name! Oy!”).

    But Rex really did drop the ball on the sick child subplot.

    (Funny how we both started getting that 10:37 am “gotta comment on Funky” itch, Hogenmogen!)

  92. Poteet
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    #56 — You are right about PEANUTS. And your incisive comments about the duck left me with the same dilemma — do I just enjoy the great entertaining invective that Tinsley inspires, or do I look up and suffer through the strip itself to see how bad it really is?

    And as a birder and conservationist, I am confident that if the Anas platyrhynchos clan knew what Bruce was up to, especially when he spews inaccurate invective about environmentalists, they would cover him with duckshit and then drown him.

  93. Dave
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    Um, you guys do realize that having Pig eat bacon is part of the joke, right? The title of the first PBS collection is called “BLTs Taste So Darn Good”. There’s a strip where Pig orders bacon, and when the chef asks him how he can do that, Pig responds “It’s a pig-eat-pig world.”

  94. Ces
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    Regarding Ted’s “scream” in the last panel of today’s (8-31) strip, this is sort of what I had in mind:

    http://www.drinkatwork.com/2006/08/349-panels-later-softball-game-is-over_31.html

  95. rich
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    JP: We’ll take you shopping, Raju, after we pop in to Sophie’s basement liposuction lab — she’ll just suck out a couple ounces of that excess nose flab and build you a totaly rad new chin!

  96. Bitter Scribe
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    For no reason, Slylock Fox made me think of the Dilbert where the PHB shows Ratbert an “inspirational” poster of an eagle swooping down on its prey, and Ratbert shrieks, “RUN FOR IT, MOM!!!!”

  97. cheech wizard
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    I don’t think it’s available online, but has anyone else noticed that Monya’s back in A College Girl Named Joe? Only instead of being a sultry Asian senior, she’s now a blonde freshman. No matter – she was the hottest chick in the funny pages, and didn’t even need puffy lips. I hated to see her graduate – I was kinda hoping she’d go for an M.A.

  98. anon
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Discussion moved to this cockpit thread:

    http://joshreads.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=618

  99. Joel
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Inspired by informative post #9 (and… 10?) I sought out more information on crocodiles on the Internet.

    True or False?

    1. Crocodiles are mammals.
    2. Crocodiles fight ALL the time.
    3. The purpose of the crocodile is to flip out and kill people.

  100. Old Fogeyette
    August 31st, 2006 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Johnw (#47)

    Very nice tribute to Lynn, and I think very well deserved. Thanks for posting it.

    Ces, thanks for the link to what Ted REALLY looked like when the kid dropped the ball….

  101. cheech wizard
    August 31st, 2006 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    TDIET -

    Hullo, beeva naybuh!

  102. cheech wizard
    August 31st, 2006 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    Oops, not TIDIET, Shylock! Oh, crap!

  103. dimestore lipstick
    August 31st, 2006 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    # 30 Von Zeppelin–
    ” A profound theological question: if you are a Christian duck, do you need to be baptized?”

    Indeed, can a duck even be baptized? Or would the holy water just roll off of its back?

  104. Gracie287
    August 31st, 2006 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    72- Thanks for the retro DtM link. I grew up in the ’80s and only remember it as fairly unfunny, but I was surprised to find this (undoctored) strip from 1989:
    http://www.dennisthemenace.com/80spanelairplane.html

    This is a great city… to POOP ON!

  105. Wally Bean
    August 31st, 2006 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    You know, the off-panel mother in FW is really commenting on her daughter.

    I keep buying her long-sleeve shirts. I know that if she really believed in god she would get her arm back. She needs to really pray, and get rid of that heathen man in her life. It is what god wants. She just has to believe in the faith based band director’s shirts and then she will be whole again.

    amen!

  106. Tenderfoot
    August 31st, 2006 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Shouldn’t a cartoonist who takes out a whole day to explain his, um, joke be forced to find a less demanding line of work? Yes, I’m looking at you, Bruce Tinsley.

  107. Mystery N
    August 31st, 2006 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    Discussion moved to this cockpit thread:

    http://joshreads.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=618

  108. Mystery N
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    Discussion moved to this Cockpit thread:

    http://joshreads.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=618

  109. Derelict
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    I’ll go along with other in homage to FBorFW. Johnston’s story telling ain’t what it used to be, but she’s still lightyears above and beyond the vast bulk of what we get served with elsewhere in the comics.

    If I remember right, Newsday (on Long Island) was one of the first newspapers to pick that strip up, and I’ve been reading it since the mid ’70s or so. The major appeal all along has been watching the characters grow up, grow old, develop, and face all the existential crises everyone goes through sooner or later. Johnston has at times so perfectly framed or captured some of these moments that her work approaches great art. Not so much these days as, say, 20 years ago.

    But I would defy any one of us comics addicts to point to another strip about which you can say any of these things.

  110. Chromium
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    #64 & 65, Hogenmogen- You made me laugh out loud. That has got to be the most awkward joke (setup and punchline both) I’ve ever seen. What the hell?

  111. migellito
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

    and in what obscure biome, praytell, are crocodiles preying on beavers?

    I think we’re witnessing a free range zoological habitat gone horribly wrong.

  112. AppleGirl
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    There are some GOOD comic strips that I love to see every day.

    Joe Martin RULES. Cats With Hands is my favorite strip. Always funny:
    http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/cats.asp

    Retail is great too:
    http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/retail.asp

    All curmudgeony aside, what is your favorite comic strip?

  113. Poteet
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I’ll abandon pretense at dignity and ask — how do you folks keep track of all those initials? I thought I was a comic fanatic, but now I have to keep muttering to myself “okay, what’s FW, what’s PBS, what’s GF…” Am I having problems because I’m new to this site or because I’m trying to cut down on caffeine or because I need to start following just a few strips on this site and work up to the full panoply? Or should I make up a little chart? Yep, posting this is just as embarrassing as I thought it would be…

  114. Islamorada Girl
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Is there a full moon or something?

  115. comatose
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    #71 and #98 – I was actually thinking about one of those big Civil War era tin horns that deaf people were depicted as wearing then.

    Anon, you didn’t have one of those, did you?

    I believe it was a joke at Scaduot’s apparent Rip Van Winkle state that has everything in his “comics” looking like they are from the 1950′s.

    Apologies to anyone in a deep decades-long sleep who might be offended.

  116. bootsybooks
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Poteet, ya gotta ask. I had to politely enquire what CoTW was. And more than one person has enquired as to why the (DT) in front of GT for Gil Thorp. We now all know it means “death to”.

    Ask away. People here tend to be nice on the whole, informative, and happy to answer questions on their favorite obsession – comics.

    PBS and bacon: A few years ago Comedy Central had a really funny short-lived show called TV’s Funhouse.

    There were animal puppets who always ate at a restaurant called “Same’s”. The rooster always had a big plate of fried chicken, the turtle alweays had turtle soup, and the dog and cat always seemed to be eating chinese.

  117. Anonymous
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    113: I think of it like learning a new language. After reading the comments awhile, the abbreviations become comprehensible (although I still encounter some foreign ones… what’s this “BF” mentioned in #58?)

    Speaking of which– now that we’re discussing Slylock Fox on a regular basis, how are we going to abbreviate it? SF is already taken.

  118. Anonymous
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    #114
    Yes, there is a full moon. The Lynn Lovers have come out to do their worship dance. Or perhaps the Lynn minions or even Lynn herself.

    #109 I call it Doonesbury.

  119. Anonymous
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    #73 (Rob) If bacon is wished for, does it actually come from a slaughtered pig?

    To borrow a phase I saw here yesterday: you, sir, just blew my mind.

    spoi

  120. johnw
    August 31st, 2006 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    My favorite strips, in no particular order:
    Doonesbury, still going strong after all these years.
    Get Fuzzy, although in the real world Bucky would have been euthanized long ago.
    Sherman’s Lagoon (apparently I like cynical animal strips)
    Piranha Club (cynical human strip)
    The Boondocks (ditto)
    Monty (ditto)
    Two family strips that are actually funny: Zits and Stone Soup.
    Candorville
    Two strips that don’t get wide distribution, but I think are really good: Big Nate (preteen kid who likes to draw his own comics) and Big Top (anthropomorphic animals in a circus).

    And I almost hate to admit it, because Scott Adams so often gets trashed for his artwork, but I like Dilbert a lot. It’s funny. Not every day, but pretty often.

    Two strips that I used to like better than I do now: Foxtrot and Mutts. They’ve gotten repetitive.

    And since this website so often focuses on serial strips, I will mention my favorite serial strip of all time, no longer in production: Modesty Blaise. It was a British serial that ran for about 35 years, from the mid 60s to early 2000s. If you search around, you can find reprint collections. The title character is a young woman who retired from a life of crime, and became a sort of freelance secret agent and fighter of evildoers.

  121. rich
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Initials: The handy pull-down “Archives by Comic” list on the left side of the main page will give a pretty good idea of what comics are being discussed. For Shylock Fox, perhaps something like (CY)SF (“Curse you, Shylock Fox!”)

    As for BF in #58, I’ve no idea — going for BC and he missed the key?

  122. Anonymous
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    oops, phRase…

    Anyhoo, so that asterisk (sp?) in MF is pointing to a footnote? Musta got cut off in my paper…

    I just figured it was where the inker threw up.

    spoi

  123. yellojkt
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Smacky (#50) said:
    How about Mark Trail’s response today: “I think that was Buck’s PET bear!”

    As opposed to his what?

    Some popular euphemisms include:

    Longtime Companion
    Life Partner
    Seriouso
    POSSLQ (person of opposite species sharing living quarters)

  124. zeeba
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    #93–you got it exactly right about Pig eating bacon in PBS. Pig is so stupid, he’d eat his own relatives!

    FW–someone asked who Becky’s mom is. She is Roberta, who had John the comic book guy arrested for selling “adult” comics to children (only it turned out it wasn’t a child, but a short person who bought the comic). Roberta’s just a troublemaker. But I can’t understand why a school (and I’m assuming that Westview High is a public school) is even entertaining the idea of “faith based” anything, because of separation of church and state. No religious anything is usually allowed at public schools, so I don’t see how Roberta’s plan is getting consideration. Also, if you’ve ever been in band, drill team, flag corps, etc. you’d know that the clothing you wear is a “uniform” NOT a “costume.”

  125. OnandonAnon
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Think outside

  126. OnandonAnon
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    the box

  127. Hogenmogen
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    113 – Poteet: Off the top of my head, I came up with
    PBS = Pearls Before Swine
    9CL = 9 Chickweed Lane
    GF = Get Fuzzy
    Foob = FBOFW = For Better or For Worse (but usually worse)
    DT = Dick Tracy
    (dt)GT = (death to) Gil Thorpe
    SF = Sally Forth
    A3G = Apartment 3 G
    DtM = DM = Dennis the (not very) Menace
    FC = Family Circus
    DFC = Dysfunctional Family Circus
    HtH = Hagar the Horrible
    GA = Gasoline Alley
    RMMD = Rex Moron, MD
    TDIET = They’ll Do It Every Time
    FT = Foxtrot
    JP = Judge Parker
    MG&G = Mother Goose & Grimm
    MT = Mark Trail

  128. Library Cat
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I’m going to guess BF is Between Friends. It kinda made me want to burn down the artist’s office and the intials match. Enjoy my techno-unsavvy link:

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20060831&name=Between_Friends

  129. Hogenmogen
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    #112 – Apple, I’d rather not discuss the mainstream faves, but I’d rather list a few that I find amusing that don’t get much distribution. I like Cleats, a little kid-sports themed bit without many story lines.

    Oh, and “BF” is Between Friends, which is a woman-centric comic. Not surreal, like Dilbert or some Doonesbury arcs. Not whiny like Cathy, but never seems to rise up to the level of hilarity that the great comics do.

  130. Hogenmogen
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    Darn it, got beat to the BF punch.

  131. Bigfoot
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    Re: What’s a Foob? & Why is FBoFW called Foob on this site?

    Foob explained

    It’s a cross between a fool & a boob. Like most FBoFW characters…

  132. Library Cat
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    #131

    And so concludes the FOOB Warm and Fuzzy Fest.

  133. Heckler123
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    I am a new reader at this site, so this may have been discussed before. Lynn Johnston is planning on ending For Better or for Worse in 2007.

    http://experts.about.com/e/f/fo/For_Better_or_For_Worse.htm

    So those who don’t care for the comic will soon be relieved of their cause for suffering. How much larger can all those thighs get in the remaining months, anyway?

  134. yellojkt
    August 31st, 2006 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    Between Friends has been a burr under my saddle for awhile. Maeve (the drak haired divorce) is annoying beyond belief. She makes a play for her therapist and then goes bonkers when he starts to get ethical on her. Non of the other characters are much more sympathetic. I don’t need foobish saintliness, but give me a reason to think there not just a group of middle-aged whiners.

    For a mommy-comic, it’s not as annoying as Pajama Dairies is, but it’s close.

  135. Bigfoot
    August 31st, 2006 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    A quick challenge for the Foobites out there:
    We recently saw Liz enjoying her Kraft Dinner, but has Lynn ever shown the foobers with bagged milk? It’s tied with All Dressed chips as my favorite Canadian grocery store item.

  136. big_old_geek
    August 31st, 2006 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    That bird is totally gonna crap on the croc’s head, and the croc knows it, too.

  137. SmartPeopleOnIce
    August 31st, 2006 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    Can’t believe I’m asking this, but does someone know where I can get Family Circus online? It’s the one strip I can’t seem to locate.

  138. cheech wizard
    August 31st, 2006 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    135 – I haven’t seen bagged milk in FOOB, outside of the recent scene with the cow (ba-da-bump!), but I don’t think it’s strictly a Canadian item. I remember some of my Iowa relatives having it decades ago, and I used to buy it back in the 1990s at Quality Dairy in Lansing — though admittedly, Michigan gets a fair amount of Canadian influence.

  139. Bigfoot
    August 31st, 2006 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    Sweet bagged milk, Batman! I never knew it invaded the states.

  140. Heckler123
    August 31st, 2006 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    Actually, there was a FBOFW with bagged milk in it. It was run a long time ago. Elly sent one of the kids to the store to get some. By the time the milk arrived at home, it was battered and leaking because the kid had been swinging it at things.

  141. Camster
    August 31st, 2006 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    SmartPeopleOnIce, you should know that alll we Curmudgeonites get our rich comic goodness at chron.com. You can actually customize a page of up to 7 (I think) comics and save it as a search.

  142. Richard Onley
    August 31st, 2006 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    #117: “now that we’re discussing Slylock Fox on a regular basis, how are we going to abbreviate it? SF is already taken.”

    The railroads going through Santa Fe had exactly the same problem with San Francisco. You can solve it the same way they did–given the strip’s merry anthropomorphic antics, you could just call it “Frisk-o” . . .

  143. Richard Onley
    August 31st, 2006 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    #86: “Remember when widdle Mewedif Patterson was sick on FBOFW? No? You weren’t born yet? Well, it was last winter. By now she’s surely dead.

    “Rex’s kid was also sick, but due to the cryogenic pace of Rex, the past 6 months of strips have really been only about 24 hours in Rextime (and I’m not even being sarcastic).”

    A few years ago, Judge Parker started a storyline that was supposed to end with hot-air balloons at the prom or somesuch. Various subplots interfered, so they just carried it over to next year’s prom.

  144. 12802 crackers
    August 31st, 2006 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    Or call it Sfox

  145. FiestaGrl
    August 31st, 2006 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    I know that bagged milk is available in parts of Wisconsin and Iowa, but it’s not common. I’ve never understood why it hasn’t caught on.

  146. Tongue Tornado
    August 31st, 2006 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    Yo, beaver! Prepare for a lickin’!

  147. Nicky Newark
    August 31st, 2006 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    Looks to me like Beetle Bailey’s Sarge is sporting the sequoia of all woodies at his weigh-in today.

  148. Adjuster
    August 31st, 2006 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    #123 – yellojkt, that’s brilliant. I just have to see that again:

    POSSLQ (person of opposite species sharing living quarters)

    Very subtle!

  149. K Bear
    August 31st, 2006 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    FOOB- liz is a loser! i don’t know what’s worse, that she wants to move back in or that ellie already made out the guest room anticipating her call.
    MW- how does inviting your stalker in for tea after realizing for a month that he is in fact your stalker make sense? this must be part of the hare-brained scheme. maybe the doc’s back waiting for aldo with a lead pipe. or toby has some sort of sting operation going on?

  150. Mystery N
    August 31st, 2006 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    I am sincerely sorry for being a bit of an ass earlier. Just sorta rubbed me the wrong way, ‘sall.

    Can’t we all just agree that TDIET is really awful, and that Scaduto is hopelessly timewarped?

    So “M.Grovey” of Boston, MA makes a stupid observation of something that apparently happens “Every Time” to him/her, but has never, ever, ever occurred once in my life, and took the trouble to submit it to ol’ Al, and it came over the pneumatic tube or the telegraph or carrier pigeon or whatthehellever Scaduto uses to communicate with the world outside of his nursing home, and it called for him to draw a movie theatre screen, so Al struggled desperately to peer through what’s left of his dementia-ravaged memory, and all he could come up with was a Korean-war era SQUARE SCREEN.

    This old coot probably bitches about those “black bars” ruining the picture on his snazzy wood-paneled black-and-white teevee when he watches letterboxed movies. Assuming the glaucoma isn’t too advanced and he can still, y’know, see.

    That’s all I was trying to say.

  151. SmartPeopleOnIce
    August 31st, 2006 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    Thanks Camster.

    And now without further ado, here is today’s (and yesterday’s) Family Circus Alternate Caption Contest:

    8/31 Doggy!

    8/30 Aw man, the blood stain’s gone.

    Thank you. Enjoy the veal!

  152. fillmoreeast
    August 31st, 2006 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    150: Just watch yourself, N. Our beloved pope rules with an iron fist.

    I’m not sure the Cockpit’s working as planned, though. I’m finding that the notes saying the discussion’s been moved there actually direct me away from the Comments section, and into a more concentrated pit of bile. It’s a bit hard to resist clicking that link. So rather than getting the snippiness all diluted and such, it comes through full blast, and the reader isn’t on this page any more to boot. Something to think about. Why include the link to the Cockpit in the first place? That seems to be almost taunting the people Josh is punishing, which isn’t really playing nice according to the rules of this site.

    Anyway, back to the comics. Did anyone else yawn reflexively while reading Zits today? Is yawning contagious even when cartoon characters do it?

  153. SmartPeopleOnIce
    August 31st, 2006 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    #88 (Brian) Scrooge McDuck and family eating a chicken is not cannibalism, it’s more akin to a human eating a gibbon.

    That guy from ZZ Top?

    Man, that’s harsh…

  154. comic femme
    August 31st, 2006 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    FBOFW-
    Ellie and John are gonna sell the house to Michael and Deanna…they have been fussing for at least several years now about their accomodations…and they will have Lovey move in with them…what a windfall!

    I have been waiting to put it out there and I am sure others have…

    It is my favorite tactile soap opera.

  155. ChefMike
    August 31st, 2006 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    MW: I kinda got the impression that Aldo was kinda like a vampire, waiting to be invited into Mary’s abode to strike.”That’s more like it.” Indeed! Mr Kelrast
    GA: so somehow Slim managed to get his broken down old junker truck and his marriage home from the woods all in one piece, and now he’s trying to shove his big ol fat gut under a truck at his work without jacking it up first? honestly I’d hoped that it was a result of lift failure, and now that he’s home and allegedly safe he suffers a serious work-related accident.

  156. grinderman
    August 31st, 2006 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    I know I first realized this when I was five years old, but it’s suddenly come back to me: Dennis the Menace’s mom is totally HOT. I’ll bet Mr. Mitchell puts that long, pointy nose of his to good use!

  157. grinderman
    August 31st, 2006 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    I know I first realized this when I was five years old, but it’s suddenly come back to me: Dennis the Menace’s mom is totally HOT. I’ll bet Mr. Mitchell puts that long, pointy nose of his to good use!

  158. Summerhouse
    August 31st, 2006 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    #50 – Other choices – “I think that was Buck’s

    A. CERTIFIED PUBLIC ACCOUNTANT
    B. MASSAGE THERAPIST
    C. TRAINED MONKEY
    D. MASTURBATING

    BEAR!!!

  159. didact
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    #55 maynard, you have to read the answers. Those were all True/False questions. The one that said they were all freshwater animals was a “False”.

  160. treedweller
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    And now Pluggeres has lost its way again. There’s nothing plugger about needing to use the bathroom a lot because you’re old. Pluggers are hard-working, blah blah blah–I read it at the pluggerville website. Nothing there says pluggers are old or infirm, despite several recent strips to suggest the contrary.

    I don’t mean to detract from monkeyhawk’s victory, but I’m starting to wonder if chiefplugr just publishes every idea that crosses his desk–those of us who failed to get ours in must have just gotten lost when he screwed up downloading his email.

  161. JaB
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    I’m new here.

    FOOB?

  162. JaB
    August 31st, 2006 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    I’m new here.

    FIRST POST, thank you very much.

    FOOB?

  163. Tukla in Iowa
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    Sorry, JaB, but that was the 162nd post. ::grin::

  164. Doug Puthoff
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:18 pm [Reply]

    151–more information about giraffes and ants can be found on the Internet (I’ve always wanted to say that!)

  165. jouster
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    “But I can’t understand why a school (and I’m assuming that Westview High is a public school) is even entertaining the idea of “faith based” anything”

    They’re not entertaining it. Becky’s mom wants it to happen is all.

  166. 12802 crackers
    August 31st, 2006 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    JaB
    See post #131 in this thread

  167. Mibbitmaker
    August 31st, 2006 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    How about this: when did certain strips jump the shark? (Btw, more information on shark jumping can be found on the internet) Some of my opinions:

    FOOB: At least as far back as the Great Cheating Boyfriend Beating Incident… or maybe when the Liz-(Bl)Anthony thing stopped being root-for-it-worthy.

    FW: The summer of ’94. Les and Lisa going to and from Europe, all over the place, and SO narrowly missing each other, CONSTANTLY, in-and-out in the most contrived manner, making the entire summer seem as long as 3 years, every strip rendering the reader as happy as a Zell Miller speech.

    Doonesbury: Trudeau taking an eminently criticizable and mockable figure like Dan Quayle, and building a ridiculous conspiracy around him. Ol’ GB beat the rest of the left to insanity by a decade (and 40 years after the right wing got zany)

    Peanuts: Really, it was varying degrees of excellent through the entire run. However, it “jumped” when Snoopy got a puzzlingly unfunny cookie addiction. It reverse-jumped when Rerun did his “underground” comic.

    Garfield: Those bizarrely-huge feet. Even in the best strips, those are horrible to look at.

    Mallard Fillmore: “Hey, I’ve got an idea, I’ll create a comic strip to support the conservative agenda. Starring a duck….”

  168. Mibbitmaker
    August 31st, 2006 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    I forgot about the most obvious shark-Fonzie-motorcyle moment…

    BC: Johnny Hart finds fundamentalist religion.

  169. Uncle Lumpy
    August 31st, 2006 at 9:42 pm [Reply]

    Motorcycle? Water skis, n’est-ce pas?

    Peanuts: Woodstock!
    Doonesbury: “Guilty, guilty, guilty!”
    Blondie: When the artists started sticking in creepy realistic sketches of their friends.
    Nancy: When the artists started sticking in creepy realistic sketches of Country singers.
    Mr. Tweedy: Never jumped.

  170. Johnny Q
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    Rich, thanks for that link to the Comic Strip Doctor! Very interesting considerations of some long-running strips. (Though IMHO he seriously underrates DRABBLE, the only daily I still read regularly. I’d read DILBERT too, but my newspaper hides it in the business section.) And thanks to all commenters capable of linking to the strips they’re talking about.

    I’ve never cared for FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, but you have to respect a cartoonist who can still write a daily episode that uses five panels.

    Some more jump-the-shark moments:

    LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE: WWII.

    STEVE CANYON: Some people would say it was his Vietnam stint, but I say the 1958 story where Poteet quit the polo team (HORRORS!), which ended with Steve giving her a spanking.

    DICK TRACY: Moonmaid. (‘Nuff said.)

    BEETLE BAILEY: the end of the US draft in the ’70s. (The strip’s premise was only suited to the time when the US army was full of conscripts.)

    NANCY: Nancy taking over the strip from its original main character Aunt Fritzi. (Its one redeeming feature is that Aunt Fritzi is hot.)

    LI’L ABNER: the ’60s, which turned Al Capp into an obtuse, unfunny reactionary

  171. Marion Delgado
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    FROM MY SOURCE IN CANADA AT FBOFW CENTRAL

    I got this upcoming panel smuggled out. It’s the backstory to the Liz back/April fight thing. I think it raises more questions than it answers, and still doesn’t explain why Liz wants to move back.

    It does explain a lot, though;

    http://www.geocities.com/marion_delgado/foob_backstory.gif

  172. Craigers
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    Favorite Strips in my daily paper:

    Doonesbury
    Dilbert
    Sherman’s Lagoon
    Fooboids (sadly, yes)
    Zits

    Favorite Strips in other daily papers I sometimes read:

    Peanuts (my all-time, all-anywhere favorite)
    Baby Blues
    Overboard (starting to tire of this one)
    Boondocks (ditto)
    Mutts is occasionally good
    Pearls Before Swine

    I used to like Bizarro, now I can’t stand it.

  173. Craigers
    August 31st, 2006 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    Oh, forgot my new online favorite : Get Fuzzy. I love that thing.

  174. Da Scrodfather
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    I can’t believe it! 170 comments, and STILL nobody noticed that the Evil Crocodile’s menace is lessened considerably by the crane perching on his head, and the smirking frog casually hopping away. Considering every other day every comment I might make is beaten to death before I get here, I musta hit the jackpot.

  175. AwfulArt
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    “Annie” has been great with it’s present story line..!!

  176. Ohyes
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    156 – Dennis the Menace – Yes, Dennis’s mom has been the hottest woman in comics for many years. Finally, someone else on earth has said it first. Thank you! I suppose you took due note of her long thighs in blue jeans on August 25. But there are many lovelies in Dennis’s life. Check out the baby sitters on August 29. Dennis’s energies are so hopelessly misdirected and futile because he’s prepubertal, in a world of beauties!

  177. Marion Delgado
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:26 pm [Reply]

    ChefMike, I think you have it exactly backwards – Mary is 128 years old, after all.

    Still, it’s quite possible that Aldo is not in thrall as I thought but stupid enough to think ‘I can drain that old woman and no one will miss her.”

    If so, I think he’s going to learn a permanent lesson about assuming you’re the only undead in town.

  178. Anonymouse
    August 31st, 2006 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    *sigh* Makes me glad I don’t actually get Slylock Fox anymore….

  179. Poteet
    September 1st, 2006 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    #170 — Because of your comment about Steve Canyon, I found this old TIME MAGAZINE article via Google, in which Poteet Canyon is compared with Lolita and the paddling is mentioned. Good lord, I had no idea.

    http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,894059,00.html

  180. Tonyman
    September 1st, 2006 at 2:46 am [Reply]

    JP- I don’t get Abby, she get’s bent out of shape about Neddy kissing her boyfriend, but she lets her daughters spend time alone with a man who just came in from half way around the world? A man who came over with the express purpose of marrying a young rich woman! If I were Neddy, I would spend my last days in the states doing something other than a geek fashion makeover.

  181. Cody
    September 1st, 2006 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    #178 — Makes me wish I DID get Slylock Fox in my local paper. But I do see it online at The Washington Post site.

  182. majolo
    September 1st, 2006 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    On the PBS strip: I don’t follow it much, so it could be right that Pig is just stupid/a cannibal. But my interpretation was that the strip was a brilliant retelling of the classic Monkey’s Paw. (I hope I did that right, html noob here.) The only flaw being, why didn’t Pig change his wish after the first one? I guess he is stupid after all.

  183. Von Rex
    September 1st, 2006 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    It’s much easier to break a lease in Canada than it is in the USA. In Ontario, for instance, you just need to give 60 days notice and off you go. It allows Canadians to move a lot more freely than Americans. But please don’t hate us for our freedoms.

  184. AwfulArt
    September 1st, 2006 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    Tipper.. Tip another one.

  185. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 2nd, 2006 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    #101 Hullo, beeva naybuh!

    I don’t know why, but two days later I’m STILL laughing at this.

    Help me…

  186. ro
    September 21st, 2006 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    i do not no witch animal has the biggest eyelash

  187. Nancy
    November 17th, 2006 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Hey Poteet—Glad I read your post. I am the original model for Poteet Canyon and had not seen the artical in Time. I printed it and added it to my memorabilia.
    Thanks
    Nancy O’Neal

  188. Carly
    November 20th, 2007 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

    Would beavers and crocodiles ever be found in the same place?

    That being said, if Slylock is to be believed, crocodiles are BADASS.

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