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Dances with honkies

For Better Or For Worse, 9/5/06

I’m sure there’s going to be plenty of time to discuss at great length Liz’s sanctimoniousness (faithful commentor fillmoreeast memorably referred to her as the “White Guilt Fairy”). For now, I’d just to point out that she’s awfully smug for someone who appears to have fallen under the spell of technology-assisted learning pretty much instantly. “All right kids, I’m going ask you a single question, which won’t require any kind of creative or analytical thinking on your part, before I turn on the TV. Now watch this damn tape about … I dunno … the environment or some crap. And watch it quietly. Just because I have my head down on my desk doesn’t mean I can’t hear you.”

By the way, Liz, Canada’s longest river is the Mackenzie, which for its entire length flows through … the Northwest Territories. Thus, it crosses no provinces at all. I learned this the old-fashioned way: on the Internet.

Judge Parker, 9/5/06

Oh my God, Raju, don’t wait for the clothes — you’re clearly irresistible to somebody. Look at the way she’s staring soulfully into your eyes! Kiss her, you fool, before the moment’s gone!

I’ve always been too distracted by the fright-wig craziness going on at the top of Abbey’s head to really notice the long, luxurious locks cascading down the back. She may be the wealthiest woman in America sporting a Manic Panic she-mullet.

Mark Trail, 9/5/06

Honestly, we’ve learned this already, But Molly the bear really needs to learn to express affection in some way other than french kissing. Here, she runs afoul of the moose-kangaroo hybrids that have escaped their secret government breeding compounds and are ranging free in Lost Forest.

Marmaduke, 9/5/06

There is entirely too much ass in today’s Marmaduke.

134 responses to “Dances with honkies”

  1. KevinQ
    September 5th, 2006 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    Wow. You wouldn’t have thought that there could be such a thing as “too much ass” in the comics, but Marmaduke comes right along and proves that there is.

    I think somebody was drunk when drawing their comic.


  2. janisonthewall
    September 5th, 2006 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    Molly seems like the goofy adorable type that children would love. Let’s hope for her sake there are no stingrays in Lost Forest.

  3. Marked Trail
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    In the interest of bad taste(ala, how to survive a tsunami), Mark Trail is going to dedicate the Sunday splash page of nature knowledge about the Stingray and how they can be deadly.

  4. Dingo
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    I can’t believe Foobville got me to look up the Canadian river systems on the internet but Josh is right; it’s the Mackenzie. What’s Liz going to do? She has all of the western provinces up on the blackboard. Some student is going to raise a hand and say, “British Columbia?” and Liz will pounce upon that child like one of the nuns in The Magdalene Sisters, pummeling the wee one and mocking until there’s a puddle of fresh urine on the hardwood floor. Then she can go into a lecture about First Nation children. This is the type of sanctimonious do-gooderism that lands you a husband such as Blandthony. They’ll marry, move in with Mom & Dad after the wedding, and rear April’s illegitimate roadside children from Gerald.

    More information about Canadian rivers can be found on the internet.

  5. treedweller
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    First, you missed the crucial word “system” here–longest river system–so she’s off the hook there. I don’t know by whom or how the definition of “river system” is determined, not having a canadian education, but as an american I know a loophole when I see it.

    Next, I’m baffled both by the secret love this woman has for a chinless Indian teenager and by the fact that he thinks that haircut was some kind of significant improvement in his looks. But I’m betting we see him dressed in a white linen “Miami Vice” suit by the end of this storyline (that’s TV Miami Vice, not Hollywood Miami Vice).

    I really don’t know what to say about the anthropomorphization of the pet bear, who has been petted and fed and loved too much by her now-comatose owner, other than at least Kelly hasn’t managed to stumble into her path and make her fall off a cliff or something.

    And finally, I really wish we could have seen this Marmaduke drawn by Lynn Johnston. A giant dog deserves to be eclipsed by a giant foob butt, not this skinny little woman’s heinie.

    Now, as for Spiderman, I am losing more respect for him every day. He spent two days struggling with the quandary of having a woman behind him, thus preventing his leaping from the line of fire, and finally his great solution is to move sideways? I would have thought a scientist would be smart enough to come up with that one in just one panel. I guess the spidey strength and the spidey sense and the spidey webs are a drain on the powers of logic and reason.

  6. Doug Puthoff
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers–Okay, there are churches in the Pluggerverse. My major question still remains unanswered: In the Pluggerverse, what species in Jesus?

  7. Harry Paratestes
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    MW: I can hear ol’ C. Everett Koop starting an exorcism on Aldo: “The power of the chin beard compels you! The power of the chin beard compels you!” Aldo spits up pea soup and sags to the ground.
    JP: Yeah, Raju needs to get his bone on and nail Abbey, she’s clearly hinting for it. And Josh is right, that’s an awesome flaming Queen mullet that she’s sporting. Maybe she’s got a little room somewhere in the mansion where she can watch NASCAR and drink Buttwiper.
    FBoFW: I can smell a values conflict coming on at the school already. White Guilt Fairy (good name fillmoreeast) vs the entire staff of lazy sods in a smackdown fest filled with backbiting, backstabbing, and political maneuvering. I bet the chunky guy becomes her nemesis, and I bet she’ll be driven out of the herd within a year.

  8. dshea
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    The Internet says that the Mackenzie river is fed by the Peace and Finlay rivers, both in British Columbia, so, going by the “system” loophole, it crosses from BC to NWT at two points. Liz should be careful about feeding those kids so much at once.

  9. Steve S
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    Thanks for the crypto-right-wing platitudes, Lynn Johnston. Regular suburban schoolteachers are greedy mooches for wanting more resources in their classroom and for wanting more than their $30,000 salaries. In Mtigwaki, teachers are paid in beads and in stories about wise animals.

  10. dan b
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    Maybe Molly should go hunt Raju or Abbey down – either one of them looks ready for a little slobbering bear love.

  11. Some Guy Here
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    I’m sure, Josh, that when you say you use the “old fashioned way of learning” you really mean “Internets“. Nobody uses the Internet anymore since Bush and Ted Stevens took their respective offices (oh yeah, I hope this Internet gets through your message filter, too!)

  12. Dingo
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    Y’gotta give Lynn credit for one thing: fashion design. Look at the pocket on that male teacher’s shirt. That’s Dolce & Gabbana territory, matey!

    And, as far as Raju, the last time I remember, Indians revere the cow. They don’t revere cow ass ugly, baby, and you’ve got a shitsack full of that.

  13. treedweller
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    As I think about this, I’m wondering more about Liz’s teaching style. Either the kids already know about Canada’s longest river system (and how it differs from Canada’s longest river), to the point that they know which provinces it crosses and the video is a total waste of time, or they haven’t learned what’s on the video, which means she’s just torturing them with a question they can’t answer. Way to motivate, Teach!

  14. mooselet
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    Dear Lord, Raju has the biggest nose EVER!!! And isn’t he supposed to be a young thing – teenager-ish? (Don’t know, still can’t bring myself to read JP) He looks like he could be a young Ghandi in that second panel.

  15. Rusty
    September 5th, 2006 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    #5: That’s a stumper. I can see a Lion King-like figure for the Plugger God, but Jesus? What animal species turns the other cheek? Maybe that circus bear in Mark Trail.

  16. edouard
    September 5th, 2006 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    Just in case anybody is interested the Mackenzie river system includes tributaries that flow through BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, NWT and Yukon.

    I looked this up in my low tech paper National Geographic Atlas.

  17. Badly_Computer_Animated_Boy
    September 5th, 2006 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail is giving me that queasy feeling I get when I watch movies or tv shows that manipulate me by placing lovable animals in peril, even if I know that a happy ending is inevitable (“Seabiscuit”)…because sometimes it isn’t (“Ol’ Yeller”).
    I don’t know which I hate more, Mark Trail for making me care about Molly or my own lack of resistance to such manipulation.

  18. AppleGirl
    September 5th, 2006 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Hey, Tommie’s doing really good there! Cute little cocktail dress! Memories of the loft in Hoboken! Whoa, slow down, girl!

    It’s sad that the unlikely Tommie is my last hope for excitement in the comics. I’ll never forgive you, Mary Worth.

  19. jailbird
    September 5th, 2006 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    #13 – You know what they say about the size of a man’s nose…

  20. NotThatGuy
    September 5th, 2006 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    Poor Molly the Tame Bear! Not even the Mrooses will play with her!

  21. Marion Delgado
    September 5th, 2006 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

    To hell with Ramu, I want her!

    She’s not only super-ultra-cool, she’s subtle.

    His name is Ramu, so she picked the closest nerd-chic fit she could find – Harold RAMIS as Egon Spengler in Ghostbusters – and gave him the exact look. How cool is that! How cool is that?

  22. Rat
    September 5th, 2006 at 11:48 pm [Reply]

    More information about licorice may be found in the National Geographic Atlas.

  23. Marion Delgado
    September 5th, 2006 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    Josh is dead right, but maybe lynn johnston’s little map has the McKenzie listed with the Peace and Finley Rivers as a system and is calling that system the McKenzie, in which case it would be BC and just a little of Alberta.

    Or maybe she knows and Liz is simply asking a trick question.

    Or maybe Liz is supposed to be thinking about the fact that anthony has no dick to speak of, instead of teaching.

  24. Squeak
    September 5th, 2006 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

    In the third panel of Mark Trail, Molly “can’t understand the hostility toward her” – and she’s glaring right at us! I feel really guilty about making fun of her.

  25. Marion Delgado
    September 5th, 2006 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    Where Molly the Bear went wrong

    “Say, where’s your trainer at? You think he got any moose meat to spare? Usually I get moosemeat at 5 just before Wopner.”

  26. Dan
    September 6th, 2006 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    There’s something wrong with Raju’s head. It’s disproportionately large, isn’t it? Is it filled with helium?

    And the people in the doorway in Marmaduke are so badly drawn. Is that a little boy in the background? That’s one teeny head.

  27. Wirrrn
    September 6th, 2006 at 12:30 am [Reply]


    Why is Marmaduke’s owner bending over his face like that? Is she giving him CPR after his hectic day? Or is she doing something altogether more unnatural, which would explain the irate mob at the door and the Law’s presence?!

  28. Air Forbes
    September 6th, 2006 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: Today we see that Liz doesn’t knock to see if the bathroom is already occupied before coming in.

    Apparently when April was listing the downsides of having Liz move back home, she should have included, “She’ll barge in on me when I’m on the can.”

  29. paddywhack
    September 6th, 2006 at 12:58 am [Reply]

    Since we don’t actually see the woman’s face, there’s no concrete evidence that she’s the one speaking. Its more likely that its the cop, after walking in on a bestiality ring.

  30. SixFootJen
    September 6th, 2006 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    What animal would Jesus be in Pluggerville? Oh, come, come! Surely you know Jesus is the LAMB of God?

  31. paddywhack
    September 6th, 2006 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    # 15
    Since No Child Left Behind government grants for high test scores don’t exist in Canada, it seems odd that Liz would write the correct answers to the question on the board ahead of time .

  32. Anonymous
    September 6th, 2006 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    First-time poster, long-time hyphen-user. Thanks for talking me down off the ledge after this. Misery loves company, and all that.

  33. Tod
    September 6th, 2006 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    First-time poster, long-time hyphen-user. Thanks for talking me down off the ledge after this. Misery loves company, and all that.

  34. Von Zeppelin
    September 6th, 2006 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    My God–isn’t that Aldo Kelrast standing next to the cop in the doorway to the Casa de Marmaduke? In the v-neck sweater, high-water pants and Beatle boots?

  35. Jake
    September 6th, 2006 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    Maramaduke must’ve had quite the adventure, considering an airline pilot and Cthulhu are pretty darned steamed about it.

  36. Mibbitmaker
    September 6th, 2006 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    The 9/6 MW… If I didn’t know Aldo was a pathetic, obnoxious stalker, I’d feel extremely sorry for him. It just makes Mare’s friends look cruel, rather than helping a victim of restraining order bait.

    And it’s back to the cornball talktalktalk. Damn you, creative team, for leading us on on Tuesday!

  37. Mibbitmaker
    September 6th, 2006 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    JP: The disturbing sight of a realistic-looking woman about to be paired off with a blatant cartoon character. Haven’t seen this in comics since either Howard the Duck and Beverly Switzler or Cerebus and Jaka, and those weren’t strips.

    MT: Moose-kangaroo hybrid? Next thing you know, there’ll be a Mr. Green Jeans-bunny rabbit hybrid! Won’t this Keeshan Komics scene stop?? (actually, don’t stop!)

    And there’s always too much ass in “Marmaduke”, it’s just literal this time.

  38. Mibbitmaker
    September 6th, 2006 at 2:10 am [Reply]


    Curtis: “Now *I* feel like screaming!” – Curtis’s mom, or US, after YET ANOTHER torn jeans joke. I’m waiting for one to magically pop up in the old Peanuts reruns.

    Blondie: See, ladies, *that’s* how you motivate us!

    GF: Remember the spaghetti western music that everyone on TV and film use whenever a fight’s a’brewin’? It goes here, whistles and all.

    (DT)GT: So, it’s all just about anything except the cutting of trees. Sort of the platitudinal intervention of M*lf*rd.

    SF: They’re mangling the words to a song from “Sgt. Pepper”. And it’s no wonder: somebody’s kicking Hilary’s face with their bare foot. Who can concentrate? Especially when it’s HER foot – at the end of her wrist, yet!

    A3G: Last panel. Cute enough joking around from Tommie, but Ted? Is he “differently abled” or something? Nobody laughs at this *that* much on a full brain. Ted’ll just be a 2-year old by month’s end. Literally.

    FOOB: Liz

    (I’m sorry; I just liked how that looked by itself)

    FOOB: Liz is really forcing herself to be perpetually depressed by everything. If she don’t watch out, she’ll turn this strip into FW!

  39. NightRaven
    September 6th, 2006 at 3:04 am [Reply]

    I wish the narrator would stop picking on Molly, it seems they never stop reminding us that she’s not so smart. “Molly doesn’t understand” “Molly doesn’t know what do”, etc. Even Mr. Trail himself had to join last week, “She didn’t know what to do” or something.
    Leave the poor bear alone, it’s not her fault that she was raised in a closed enviroment and is not related to Yogi Bear!

  40. ben
    September 6th, 2006 at 3:35 am [Reply]

    #38 — I think Molly may be a bear.

  41. NightRaven
    September 6th, 2006 at 4:41 am [Reply]

    Todays Spiderman is even dumber than when he got knocked out with the magic leadpipe last week.
    “Must help Spiderman”, yeah right, you stupid woman, with what ? He’s allready got the upperhand on Butlerman. I’ll bet he’ll be really happy for you “help” later on when he wakes up with a cracked skull from all the blows to the head he’s had lately.
    Also, didn’t see anyone commenting on this Sundays edition of Beatle Bailey, but check out the last panel, it seems Walker might be trying desperately to update his strip:

  42. art
    September 6th, 2006 at 5:08 am [Reply]

    Naturally Liz on her first day at a new job, is telling the others what a great situation they have, to suck it in and quit complaining. Naturally, thats what everyone does. First day.

    Liz : “Hey although we dont even KNOW each other, and you’ve worked here MUCH longer (and..are you maybe the prinicipal, or someone important?) I want to say something to make all of you feel guilty about trying to do what is natural for a school, to plan for a few years ahead in budgeting. Thats me, yup. I never had to budget anything. I wasn’t in any job longer than a year ( and that one I quit suddenly) but who cares, right? Free spirit, thats me! I have lots of thoughts right off the top of my head for you! All my fellow colleagues! Who work here longer! Isnt that great! And I will be doing that ALL THE TIME! Woo hoo!”

    cut to: Few years later. Liz home-schooling Anthony’s daughter (who hates her). Alone. Looking out the window. Wondering why no one kept her on at all those well-funded schools.

  43. Woodrowfan
    September 6th, 2006 at 6:30 am [Reply]

    that’s not a “Moose-Kangroo”, that’s the JERSEY DEVIL!!!

  44. Woodrowfan
    September 6th, 2006 at 6:30 am [Reply]

    that’s not a Moose-Kangroo, that’s the JERSEY DEVIL!!!

  45. Woodrowfan
    September 6th, 2006 at 6:35 am [Reply]

    sorry about dbl post. I swear I got error messages!!!

  46. Adam
    September 6th, 2006 at 6:39 am [Reply]

    Dick Tracy Alert! Dick Tracy Alert!

    The guy who does Gasoline Alley does a much better Dick Tracy than the guy who actually draws the strip! Todays is a great example.

  47. yellojkt
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:00 am [Reply]

    I just can’t wait for Molly to run into Kelly and the resulting ménage à ours. They both will find somebody to love.

  48. Fred P.
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:19 am [Reply]

    Actually, I don’t think “moose-kangaroo hybrids” come fom “secret government breeding compounds”. I may be wrong, but I’m pretty sure they first emerged in the inter-species genetic swapfest that is Pluggerville.

  49. Opus
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    What is that standing next to the cop in Marmaduke? It looks like a guy with a little guy for a head. The big guy has the v-neck sweater and the boots, and the little guy sitting on his face is wearing a hat.

    Do I just need a cup of coffee, or has someone been lacing my mac ‘n’ cheese?

  50. TheMagicMel
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    I’m with you Opus, but I think it’s some poor perspective drawing to indicate Marmaduke has enraged an entire crowd. Or the dude *is* sprouting a bud head. Whatever.

  51. treedweller
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    “Ordering a face cord from Crow’s Nest Landscaping?”

    I’ve read that sentence several times and now I’ve even typed it, but it continues to have no meaning to me. I know it’s meant to be one of those smart, funny teenager comments, but surely the (DT)GT artist isn’t more on top of today’s slang than I am. Right? Someone tell me I’m right! Because otherwise, I’m checking into a nursing home tomorrow.

  52. ragthetiger
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    MT: Damn bear still doesn’t know what to do. Get a learning curve, Molly.

  53. Craigers
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    A “face cord” is a small load of pre-cut (and sometimes also pre-split) firewood, about four feet high by eight feet long, cut to stove length.

  54. Mr Froth
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    She-mullet? Is this an East Coast expression? I always heard Femmullet…

  55. Scoopernicus
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    The moose won’t let Molly near her with that tongue. Has too many bad memories of what happened when Kelly was last in the Lost Forrest.

  56. scoopernicus
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    The moose isn’t having anything to do with Molly’s tongue. Too many bad memories of what happened the last time Kelly was in Lost Forrest.

  57. Da Scrodfather
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    #46– Adam, for that matter, Al Capp (Lil Abner) drew a MUCH better Dick Tracy than this guy.

  58. Bigfoot
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    Applegirl (#18), I’m right with you about, Tommie’s hot new look. Who knew she had any idea how to look like a genuinely attractive female?

    Wait, Dingo, did Tommie hire you to give her a makeover? (But seriously, I hope the job hunt is going well. I’ll be finishing grad school this semester, so I feel for you.)

    And finally, the “FOOB: Liz” bit in Mibbitmaker’s post (#38) made me think back to ye olde SATs. FOOB: Liz :: Plugger: ________

  59. Scoopernicus
    September 6th, 2006 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    A3G – Hey, Tommie’s doing really good there! Cute little cocktail dress! Memories of the loft in Hoboken! Whoa, slow down, girl!

    But pink isn’t really her color, not with that red hair. Now if was a balck cocktail dress, all bets would be off.

  60. blacknosugar
    September 6th, 2006 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    I’ve got to call shenanigans on Mark Trail. My dog has received every meal of his lazy existence from me and my girlfriend, but the minute he steps outside…oh, yeah…he’s hunting rabbits, squirrels and birds! He’ll do it every time!

  61. treedweller
    September 6th, 2006 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    Wow. More information about face cords can be found on the internet. And I’m an arborist, so I thought I knew about such things. I take solace in the fact that this comment could only be made by a frontiersman or a teen in Milford. I won’t check into the home just yet.

  62. blacknosugar
    September 6th, 2006 at 8:30 am [Reply]

  63. treedweller
    September 6th, 2006 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Meanwhile, I saw a sign of the coming apocalypse today. In response to a letter last week calling on the Austin newspaper to drop Mallard Fillmore (and Mike Ramirez), several writers came to its defense. Okay, fair enough, free speech, blah blah blah.

    But this one got me:

    In Mallard Fillmore, I see funny, refreshingly honest and right-to-the-point writing by Bruce Tinsley.

    I don’t know what to say. I think he must be trying to get my goat. Surely nobody can think MF is really funny.

  64. Craigers
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    More information about face cords can be found on the internet. And I’m an arborist, so I thought I knew about such things.

    I guess, though I wouldn’t necessarily think so. I’m sure that most veterinarians aren’t up on the latest butchering jargon.

  65. Screamin' Norwegian
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    Is it my imagination, or is ther something baking in Liz’s oven? That profile in panel two makes her look kind of – er – large.

  66. Vu42
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Wow – Marmaduke reflects mainstream America. Over half of America’s adult population is overweight. Nearly a third are OBESE. So the lady of the house has packed on a few pounds… wait… half of the forum posters could be fat… a third could be really really fat… oh, never mind.

  67. The Ray
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    I think a panda is sleeping on the couch in today’s FBOFW.

  68. Holy Prepuce
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    I’m also curious as to why Liz is writing the names of all those provinces on the board–is she feeding the kids the answer to her question as she asks it, in case the principal is listening over the intercom? Or is it some kind of multiple choice, in case they’ve never heard of British Columbia? And if it’s the latter, maybe Glenallen should get the school board to buy it some maps before it goes asking for all that newfangled “equipment.”

  69. Vu42
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    Double wow. FBoFW is “Dances with Honkies?!!?” Don’t even want to go there. The real message is a Canadian taking a swipe at ever-more government spending, particularly for education! Liz says “I came from the country, we didn’t have much but the kids learned.” Urban bureaucrat says, “we have all this stuff but we need more money!” Hmmm, classic example, Washington DC schools (run by and funded by whom?) spends over ten grand a year per student but graduates – what, just over half? Wait, wait, I’m confused by facts…

  70. Craigers
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    And now the Snarcasm for 9/6…

    Beetle Bailey : “I don’t go to ‘R’ movies”?? If it turns out that Miss Buxley is fourteen years old, it adds a whole new dimension to the Beetle Baileyverse.

    (DT)GT : I don’t see why it mattered if he stepped out of bounds, as the referee appears to be giving a signal for a Roughing the Kicker penalty. Or possibly Roughing the Zombie Kicker, which is a fifteen-yarder.

    MW : Toby’s got a very, very weird death stare happening and her hand is all clawed up and pointy. Is she giving Do La Stalker the malocchio? If so, this whole “intervention” cover is a pretty good ruse. And Toby is blonde and blue-eyed…

    RMMD : That poor woman in panel two… her neck has been sliced open from ear to ear! I can’t believe that they would print that in the funnies.

    Sylvia : Get out of here. Nobody is going to read that. Nobody. As far as I know, it could be Shakespeare, or porn, and I’d have no idea.

  71. Dingo
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    What’s disturbing about today’s (06-09-2006) Foobville is panel 2. Liz doesn’t just walk in on someone in the bathroom; that’s not a “Sssssssss…” sound of water running. It’s “SHhhhhhhh”. There are are least two, maybe three, persons in the shower and Liz has interrupted their mad, passionate, Canadian lovemaking. My bet? April and Gerald. Other possibilities? Gramps and Iris, Doc and Elly, Doc Patterson and Molly the Bear, April/Doctor Jeff Cory/Asian Woman with Side Ponytail, or Gordon/Mike/Lawrence. The last possible person would be Blandthony, waiting in the shower for Liz (and probably fully clothed).

  72. Len
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Okay. It’s established. The older, taller version of Lio is his FATHER, not his big brother.

    But, cheez, was he harsh to Gumby, or what?

  73. Holy Prepuce
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:48 am [Reply]

    Oh yeah, and re Mary Worth, um, guys, if Aldo says he wants to leave and you bodily force him to remain, technically that’s called “false imprisonment.” Indeed, a creative prosecutor might argue that Mary’s use of false pretenses to lure Aldo into the apartment makes it a kidnapping.

  74. Harry Mirth
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    Why should Alpo listen to Wilber? If he does and takes his advice, will he be able to sue? I smell a story arc building.

  75. mark
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    MT: Molly must now battle a 3 metre squirrel.

    TDIET: the angry, confused disconect from the modern world continues with a trip back to 1948, a time when every male smok giant cigars while children and dogs look up with envy. Also, an old woman is about to die, so plus plus.

    Pluggers: The rhino is one belt size closer to a massive heart attack. A quibble: pluggers have ice picks? I thought those were just props in erotic thrillers.

    BC: Hart makes a “preys/prays” joke that implies christians are sinister con men.

    MF: A duck gazes angrily at the audience following an appearance by an unnamed female, possibly the BVM in a power suit.

    GT: A heavily mascaraed former reciever wears a t-shirt tucked into his shorts.

    MW: “The lady doth NOT protest too much.”

  76. Dave
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    What’s with the policeman’s hand in Marmaduke? Is that some sort of giant claw?

  77. Cornwhacker
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    14: Dear Lord, Raju has the biggest nose EVER!!! And isn’t he supposed to be a young thing – teenager-ish? (Don’t know, still can’t bring myself to read JP) He looks like he could be a young Ghandi in that second panel.

    I think the similarity might be intentional (the glasses, especially) What I don’t get is why this teenage character is modeled after the old, toothless Gandhi and not the young, good-looking Gandhi.

  78. jake
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Did anybody else think that Liz’s next line today would be an interpertation of the classic Jobian mantra:

    “I’ve made a huge mistake.”

  79. fuzzmaster
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Not to bring up a bad memory, but the Marmaduke illustration is clearly a followup to the one awhile back that featured the mom making a vulgar display toward the cartoonist while the Duke leered at her behind. The question now is, did she turn around to keep the dog from licking her booty or because she’s finally succumbed to his charms?

  80. johnw
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    I agree the talk-laden “intervention” is a disappointment in MW… but there is a certain cosmic justice in Mary having a domestic entanglement, and needing the help of others — after all these years of Mary butting into everyone else’s business.

    And oh, Raju… a receding chin AND a master of the inventory arts? What woman could possibly resist????

  81. peep
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    i SO badly want a manic panic she-mullet!!!!

  82. coreymarie
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    In today’s FOOB: Is the dog sleeping on the couch on a pillow? or is that supposed to be April?

  83. mark
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    80: I believe that’s the rabbit on April’s face.

  84. Ned Ryerson
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    In today’s Mary Worth, Toby’s wearing a top that looks like it’s designed to allow her to blend in with the window behind her, but since she’s already been introduced, her chameleon-like abilities will not come into play in this intervention. Wilbur and Dr. Cameron both prefer the tan Sansabelt slacks that give you the comfort and mobility needed for nimble interventioneering.

    Dr. Cameron also has a kind of high paunch. Either that, or he’s employing some low-rise Sansabelts.

    This is no fun. I should heed all the sage wisdom of veteran readers of MW, set very low expectations for any kind of interesting plot developments and just sit back and wait for the platitudes. But c’mon now, this is just DUMB. Aldo is an asshole. Assholes generally don’t listen to anything people tell them, which is really a core principle of assholery. But are we to believe that the persuasive power of the collective inhabitants of Charterstone (minus the intrusive squirrel and other passers-by) somehow can penetrate Aldo’s protective assholic defenses and make him see that “the lady doth not protest to much”? Is he breaking down in the second panel? Has he received the word? Will he emerge from his assholoplastic cocoon of self loathing silence as a transformed man who knows that “no means no”? Please say it isn’t so! I can’t take much more. Damn you Comics Curmudgeon community! Damn you for sucking me into this cesspool of disappointing, hackneyed lameness!

  85. Craigers
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    So, who’s bringing what to the Snarcasm Buffet today?

    Better Half : A giant burlap sack of generic chips. Possibly potato, possibly corn. Possibly wood.

    Between Friends : Two half-full wineglasses of something black. What kind of drink is black? Used motor oil?

    Bizarro : A sack of orange donuts with star-shaped holes.

    Boffo : Condiments do not count at the Snarcasm Buffet. Begone.

    Cleats : Plastic beer cups. Possibly with beer?

    Edge City : Coffee cup with a telltale hot-coffee-steam-wavy-line coming out of the top of it.

    FOOBoids : Pot of something on stove, Elly peeling potato in such a way that it appears she is saving the peelings in a pot and throwing the potato away.

    Heart of the City : Watermelon and lemonade, probably long past expiry date given the “closeout sale”. Mmmmm… bacterialicious!

    Monty : Crappy drawing of unidentifiable items on table, shake cup with straw coming out.


    Willy & Ethel : What appears to be a nutritious mug of delicious mashed potatoes. Yum.

    Zippy : Oh, #### off.

    Zits : Bets on flavors? I’m thinking Tiger Tail and Raspberry.

  86. Dingo
    September 6th, 2006 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    peep #79, your wish is my command. She-mullet Mania

  87. GoBobbyGo
    September 6th, 2006 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Wow, it’s a day full of don’t-go-there!

    Prison rape jokes in Monty

    Racism in JP (let me get this straight – he just happens to be an expert in inventory control systems. Sure! The Indian guy has studied the EXACT thing you need and it’s never been mentioned before. Those Indians – they’re born experts in everything geeky, yessirree)

    Making fun of fat people in both CBW (well, sort of) and 9CL.

    I’m surprised good ol’ Mallard isn’t making fun of Jews and the FC Kids aren’t on a field trip throwing Heathens into the pit of hell.

    And in FBOFW, the thing that creeps me out isn’t that Lizard walks into the bathroom without knocking. It’s that someone’s saying “Shhhhhhh” in the shower. Clearly there are two people in there, and Ellie’s downstairs peeling potatoes. Who the hell is in there? Maybe Liz did knock and they were too scared of being caught to answer.

    I vote April and Anthony.

  88. cheech wizard
    September 6th, 2006 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    How many horses does Abby keep that she needs a sophisticated feed-tracking system that takes hours to figure out? You wouldn’t need a system like that unless you keep several hundred head, and breeders of show/riding horses just don’t keep that many animals.

    Yep, looks like Abby’s in the dog-food business.

  89. Dennis Jimenez
    September 6th, 2006 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    Please – a classy lady like Abby! Surely it’s the French haute cuisine business.

  90. J Shiggity
    September 6th, 2006 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    When did Michael’s landlady become a teacher at Liz’s school? She seems to be at the conference table in panel 3.

  91. Craigers
    September 6th, 2006 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    By the way, is it just me, or is there pretty good evidence that the entire cast of Between Friends is a gang of wine-ridden alcoholics?

  92. lesles
    September 6th, 2006 at 11:58 am [Reply]

    great mary’s ghost! i don’t know what they did to raju’s hair, but it’s playing havoc with his dna. in real time! panel 1, he’s henry kissinger, then by panel 2, he’s caught midway morphing from stephen hawking into evil bill gates (might’ve got a redundant adjective in there).

    get your hair back before it’s too late, raju!

    and i’m worried about molly. given how ready she is to go the tongue on a kid, i’m wondering exactly what sort of “training” has she been given

  93. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 6th, 2006 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    #49 (Opus) What is that standing next to the cop in Marmaduke? It looks like a guy with a little guy for a head.

    It’s Master Blaster!

    What? Marmaduke run Bartertown? Hearing wonky!

  94. tefflan
    September 6th, 2006 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    # 34 Von: Yes, that’s Kelrast with a midget riding on his shoulders. Oops! I’ve said too much and revealed what happens in MW next week! Gang, if whips, midgets and Captain Kangaroo clones don’t give you wood after next week’s Mary Worth installments, you’re in a cemetery.

    FBOFW: I’ll be gratified if one of the students raises his or her hand and asks the eternal question asked by all teenagers in school , “Who gives a shit?”

    JP: Now Raju can run the Quickie Mart looking like a hipster doofus, instead of just a doofus. And if Abbey gets involved with this dolt, she’ll find herself at the INS getting him his green card while he sits at home in his wifebeater and thongs, farting curried goatmeat.

  95. Old Fogeyette
    September 6th, 2006 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    #17–I’m with you on the sucking-us-in-with-cute-animals-in-peril stories. I actually gave some thought to poor Molly’s plight when I couldn’t sleep last night.

    But what is even more disturbing is that I care WAY more about what happens to Molly than what happens to the putative humans in all these strips.

  96. Justafoob
    September 6th, 2006 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    And in FBOFW, the thing that creeps me out isn’t that Lizard walks into the bathroom without knocking. It’s that someone’s saying “Shhhhhhh” in the shower. Clearly there are two people in there, and Ellie’s downstairs peeling potatoes. Who the hell is in there? Maybe Liz did knock and they were too scared of being caught to answer.

    I think, upon further reveiw, that it is John and April. We have already seen Liz and Mike in bed together, so we know that the Pattersons like to keep it in the family. The best Granthony could hope for is to run the camcorder.

  97. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 6th, 2006 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    The efforts here at geographic scholarship inspired by this FBOW inspires me to point out another erroneous recurring theme in the comics that must be stopped.

    I speak of an inaccurate, nay slanderous, representation of geometric optics. Today’s view through Raju’s glasses of what-her-name’s mullet, Thel’s view of the school bus through the window in yesterday’s FC, the depiction of Aldo bits through the glass door in MW.

    People! Just because an object is viewed through a transparent media, the object does not become achromatic! Some of you may have had opportunity to glance out a window at some point in your lives. Others of you may wear glasses. At least some of you probably have corneas. It just ain’t so.

    I know this is going to stir the hornets nest, but we must never fear speaking truth to power.

  98. Deckard Canine
    September 6th, 2006 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    #82 – “Assholoplastic cocoon”? LOL! Ned, you’re funnier than that guy in Groundhog Day.

    Heaven forbid that we should actually see any of Marmaduke’s misadventures.

    It occurs to me that if that is the sound of a shower instead of somebody saying “Shhhh,” then Liz shouldn’t even need to knock; she should be able to hear it from outside the bathroom. Or did she go semi-deaf listening to all that “bappa thud” music?


    Baldo: My first thought was that I had seen this joke somewhere before. My second thought was that these kids were ignorant even for starting first grade. But my third thought should have been my first — that map shows only North America! Gracie may be smart, but these cartoonists have little respect for the average six-year-old’s intellect, and apparently not much more for ours.

    Cornered: Even for this comic, the gag (in more sense of the noun than one) is dismal.

    Foxtrot: Is this the first indication we’ve seen of a non-secular household? Too bad Ruthie and even Dennis the Ex-Menace are better at kid prayer humor.

    Garfield: I’ll hand it to Jon for telling it like it is, but if both he and the cartoonist know that much, then why is he still here?!?

    JP: Oh, hell no. He’s getting sidetracked, so it’ll be even longer before they complete the next stage of his much-needed makeover. And I’d wager that the end result will still be pathetic, but who’d take the other side of that wager?

    Rhymes with Orange: Of the syndicated comics I know, this has to be easily the best one done by a female cartoonist. Is that sad or what?

    Spider-Man: And she did such a good job in her moves against MJ. Seeing how Spidey keeps getting hit in the back of the head, I’m thinking the writer must’ve been hit there a few times.

  99. Blueline
    September 6th, 2006 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    I thought I posted last night, but it appears to have never made it through the internets.

    My comment was that Marmaduke is turning to NYPD Blue tactics to gain viewers. America was appalled (well, the most outspoken overly religioius types) about Janet’s “wardrobe malfunction”, what shall they say about “Mama Marmaduke Got Back”?

    Can a 50-something career housewife who dresses like it’s stil 1940 have back? Oh Sir Mixalot, please advise!

    More information on butts can be found on the internet.

  100. anthony
    September 6th, 2006 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    the macenzie is one river, she asked for the longest SYSTEM which i think is the saskatchewan, and which goes through sask, alberta, manitoba, and others?.

    so not BC, or the last on that list, god knows what it is

  101. zeeba
    September 6th, 2006 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    FOOB 9/6: When I read it in the paper this morning, the objects on the couch looked like Dixie and Edgar snoozing, but after reading the ?s above, and seeing it on the Chronicle, it looks like April’s bunny and ???

    Luann 9/6: Knute is now OFFICIALLY Tiffany’s pimp.

    FW: Deja vu? If Darin and Jess go all the way, will Jess find herself in the position Darin’s birth mom (Lisa) did 30 years ago?

  102. Ned Ryerson
    September 6th, 2006 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    In matters Foobian, all this stuff about Liz and the shower begs the question, do the Pattersons have a door on their bathroom? Generally, the door being closed is a sign that the bathroom is in use. It’s a very effective system. (Not that I haven’t encountered homes where the bathroom door is always kept shut, which, by the way, I totally don’t understand. It’s especially unnerving when you’re a guest and you have to knock just in case there’s some unaccounted for house occupant who just may be in there going about their bathroom stuff in darkened silence).

    I find that dog (Edgar?) lying on the couch to be either hilarious or ridiculous, I’m not sure which I’m settling on. The instructions to the artist(s) were probably “draw the two dogs on the couch”. So one dog is drawn in sleeping in a typical dog pose, nose resting between the front paws, but the other dog is in a completely non dog-like pose, basically like a mini Plugger-style dog napping on the sofa. (Look real close, is he holding the tv remote in one paw?)

  103. King Dogmeat
    September 6th, 2006 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    Mrs. Marmaduke-owner has one fine ass.

  104. dimestore lipstick
    September 6th, 2006 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    mis·ad·ven·ture noun:
    an accident that causes serious injury or death to a person and that does not involve negligence, wrongful purpose, or unlawful conduct.

    Marmaduke! What the hell have you been doing?!

  105. yudantaiteki
    September 6th, 2006 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    In Wed. Judge Parker we see Raju’s attempt at a pickup line — “I am an expert in inventory control systems!” Abbey will be falling head over heels for you.

  106. Marion Delgado
    September 6th, 2006 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    The Pimp My ____ thing comes full circle with Tiffany.

    I agree with the person who said Darin will give Lisa bone marrow.

    However, it’s also possible funky winkerbean will let its inner worse than peanuts angst and despair out and lisa will die without ever knowing her son is right there.

    I hope, if so, Les smokes a Galois and says “well, this – it is the life, after all! Merde allor!” and then tosses it into the urine-filled gutter where it sputters out like a falling star in Hell!

  107. Marion Delgado
    September 6th, 2006 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    I kind of wish Molly herself would type a defense here on the comments page.

    Unfortunately, she doesn’t understand how to do so in a coherent manner, so the rest of us have to step up to the plate.

    Her problems include being naiive and unfamiliar with surviving, being an imaginary creation in a mediocre comic strip, and of course, being a phucking bear.

  108. GoBobbyGo
    September 6th, 2006 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    I can’t believe I’m making two separate comments on today’s FOOB, but there you go.

    Leaving aside the dirty business in the shower and the anthropomorphic dog, what about panel three?

    Panel Two: Hot bath? Too bad, Lizzie, people are screwing in there and you’re (presumably) not invited. And even if it’s THAT kind of party and you ARE invited, you probably can’t get a relaxing bath.

    Panel Four: Place to put your feet up? Again, too bad, Lizzie, there’s apparently only one piece of furniture in the whole house that you can sit on, and for some reason you can’t kick the dogs off it. Again, it’s stretching things a little, but I get it.

    But the soup thing in panel three – what is the problem here? What the hell do you think Elly is doing? She’s making freaking soup! Is your problem just that it’s not ready yet? You spoiled brat!

  109. Son of Slam
    September 6th, 2006 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    #40: Years ago, in the missed Spy magazine, there was a column called “Review of Reviewers”. (Which I’m now reviewing?) The initial review was of a book photographs by Wegman of his dogs, one of whom was named “Fay Wray.” The IR gushed at length with prose like “Fay Wray looks out at us with wry humor, her recognition of the situation as inherently farsical”.. The author of RoR responded thus: Sir, Fay Wray is a Dog.

    Why did I just think of that?

  110. cheech wizard
    September 6th, 2006 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    Doesn’t it seem like Molly and Aldo have a lot in common? Sent adrift in the world after losing their caregiver in a tragic accident, unable to understand the hostility toward them when they make their awkward attempts at friendship, trying to place their tounges in inappropriate places… Aldo even looks kinda bear-like in a pasty sort of way. You’ve even got parallels between the chicken-kicker and Chinbeard, who’s outraged that Aldo is trying to get into Mary’s honey pot.

  111. bootsybooks
    September 6th, 2006 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    The next thing we have to ban ( notice me taking it upon myself to make rules here) is comments that damn Josh and us to hell for making them like the funnies again.

    It’s not our fault, people. We were all there once. And we all hate ourselves for it.

    I know. I bought the shirt.

  112. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 6th, 2006 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    #63 (treedweller) Surely nobody can think MF is really funny.

    Don’t count on it. If you’ve got a strong stomach, check out the posts at Michelle Maulkin’s website sometime. The guys there are like the Stepford penises (ok, I stole that from Dennis Miller). They make FreeRepublic (and, to be fair, Democratic Underground) look like reasoned discourse.

    Behold, the Mallard fanbase.

    And although I can’t really disagree with Tinsley poking at Katie (no pun intended), why her? Why now? Newsbabes have been a joke for decades. Margaret Bourke-White must be spinning in her grave.

    Maybe someone sent Tinsley a copy of Neil Postman’s book.

  113. Sister Creep
    September 6th, 2006 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    I’m growing fond of “Crock”‘s current disdain for fat women.

  114. Blueline
    September 6th, 2006 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    On the FOOB LiveJournal community, it was mentioned that Edgar is sleeping alot like Snoopy. I am still utterly convinced those are the dogs on the couch – I don’t see a bunny or April. (though the joke can be made about April being a dog – harhar!).

    MF isn’t just unfunny, Tinsley is trying to make fun of non-existant things. He went on for two weeks about how celebrities can bash Christians and it doesn’t get airtime – GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE ALREADY!!! He’ll probably backpeddle and say he can’t give an example, because the media doesn’t report it. Just like a biblethumper to make a huge deal out of something like a kid not wanting to say “under god” in the pledge of alligience, but no one better tell him to praise allah or buddah or Darwin! Oh no!

    More information on batshit insane conservative ducks can be found on the internet… but why would you want to look it up?

  115. dre
    September 6th, 2006 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    foobtown is all about the blinkies. they drive the entire composition. that is so sad i just don’t know what to think about it.

  116. dramashoes
    September 6th, 2006 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Marmaduke is much more fun if you play games with who is speaking the caption. For example, the cop at the door is watching Mrs. Marmaduke do unspeakable things with the dog’s severed head. The cop decides to describe this scene as a “misadventure.” Come to think of it, nearly all single panel comics are more interesting if you twist them around into something the cartoonist never intended.

  117. ringmaster
    September 6th, 2006 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    Alternate caption for today’s FC:
    Yes, Daddy, now I’m grown up enough to give you your evening blow job so Mommy can have a drink and go to bed early.

  118. Von Zeppelin
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    75 Mark–TDIET keeps partying like it’s 1948, with his continuing tribute to medical haberdashery of distant decades. When was the last time you saw nurses in crisp white dresses wearing starched nurse caps? Outside of certain varieties of porn films, of course. Not that you or I or any of our fellow Curmudgeonists would really KNOW about these things, of course, but. . . uh. . . one hears stories. . .

    The fat stogies and the calabash pipe complete the trip in the time machine.

    FW–God, even when the strip shows teenage boys talking about hot cheerleaders, they look depressed. I hope tomorrow we get back to the more upbeat story arc about dying of cancer.

  119. Jennifer
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    #72 Len

    I was delighted by the revelation, too. As for Gumby? It’s Lio’s way, and see how delighted he was to have a good gift for dear ol’ dad?

  120. Harry Paratestes
    September 6th, 2006 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    Archie: Duh joke about stretches. Just goes to show ya, Moose: Biceps of steel bring brains of silly putty.

  121. janisonthewall
    September 6th, 2006 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    Cheech, you’ve nailed it. Next up is a convention of bizzare hybrids (moose-kangaroo, porcupine-beaver, hairy chinbeard crab) calling an “intervention” on poor old Molly. Crikey! She’s just an ill-equipped and unprepared soul trying to make her way in a confusing and alien world. Go Molly! Go Aldo! Find love wherever you can!

  122. Ohyes
    September 6th, 2006 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    In today’s Mary Worth, sitting with his head in his hands, Aldo finds he’s hoping more than ever for a good spanking, and the indications are good. After this thrilling, public scolding, surely Mary will take him across her knees – and then Toby will too! And they’ll each spank him in front of everyone! He deserves it! He quivers with excitement.

  123. Monkey's Paw
    September 6th, 2006 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    Just curious, but when picking out an outfit to make a good impression on the first day of school who’s requirements read. “Shapeless, gray,and totally unapealling. Also needs to make me look 7 months pregnant.”? It looks like Liz is wearing a burlap sack.

    Either she’s eating too many of those cookies or mountie-boy has a shot-gun wedding to attend.

  124. Meander
    September 6th, 2006 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    MF isn’t just unfunny, Tinsley is trying to make fun of non-existant things.

    It’s hard to maintain that tone of offended outrage when you rule the freaking world. One is forced to constantly build up strawmen to knock down.

  125. Marc
    September 6th, 2006 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    TDIET has managed to show the creepiest baby ever…y’know.

  126. Meander
    September 6th, 2006 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

    We were all there once. And we all hate ourselves for it.

    Word. I am NOT supposed to be reading Mary Worth.

  127. janisonthewall
    September 6th, 2006 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    Btw, check out the schnozz on Liz’ new boss, then recall ol’ Jesse from Mtiwhatthefu. Liz finds Jesse’s missing Dad and orchestrates a joyous winter solstice reuinion (complete with purloined gold plated ditto machines from the Glenallen school district), all in time for Dooright’s baby to be born on the ice to the sound of the howling wolves. End of storyline, end of Granthony, end of Foobville forever. God, we can only hope.

  128. Zzedar
    September 6th, 2006 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    Ah, but Liz wasn’t talking about Canada’s longest river, but its largest river system, which is the Canadian Shield (crosses Newfoundland and Labrador, Quebec, Ontario, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta, the Northwest Territories, and Nunavut).

  129. NightRaven
    September 7th, 2006 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    #118 – There is one place where you can still find nurses wearing that uniform, in the little town of Silent Hill!
    This has led me to believe that Scaduzo is in fact stuck there and his only way of communicating with the outside world is through TDIET.
    I don’t know what’s more creepier though, reading TDIET with this in mind, or watching/playing Silent Hill expecting to bump into one of Scaduzos twisted creations…brrr…

  130. Jack
    September 9th, 2006 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Now that Liz Patterson is at home, I’m wondering how Lynn Johnston will handle it when Liz’s boyfriend visits. Will he be allowed to stay over, and if so, in her room? Or will Liz and April double and he gets Liz’s room? Or, will Liz just be out for the night under the guise of “staying with friends”? Now that the strip is in it’s last year, it will be interesting to see how things are brought together.

    Even for comic strip parents, the Pattersons are pretty good and a storyline of the boyfriend staying over even if Liz and April share a room while he’s there will be interesting. April has GOT to raise questions that Ellie will find difficult to answer.

    And, with not that much long for the strip, will April do what her friend did, and get “close” to a guy, or will that storyline never develop.

    As for Liz’s comments about this school having it better than where she was, I simply take it as she’s expressing how lucky they are, not how selfish they are.

    More and more I like this strip.

  131. Kobe 8
    August 17th, 2013 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    It doesn’t look as great in real life. Good, but not great. It looks mediocre, because the plastic and color isn’t that impressive. It works I guess!

  132. vfezozjxz
    August 17th, 2013 at 1:24 pm [Reply]


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