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Self-awareness Sunday

I have a pet theory that newspaper comic strip characters are dimly aware of who and what they are, and more than a little embarrassed about it. Sometimes they just flat-out admit it:

Rrrhymes with Orrrange, 9/19/10

Frankly lady, with the fashion choices, urban landscapes, and body styles on display here I wouldn’t go hatin’ on the tag.

Other strips are up front about wanting to be something — dear God anything — else:

Funky Winkerrrbean, 9/19/10

This is one of those unsettling Sunday insertions of Funky Winkerbean characters into the comic-book settings the artist would plainly rather draw. Other than Mr. Potato Head® in the big collar there, it’s a nice rendition of D.C. Comics’ Deadman volume 1 number 7 cover from November 1985. Of course, Deadman was happy about his resurrection, but then he didn’t have to go back to Westview.

You can ignore the prattle at the lower right: just another catalog of the characters’ ailments. But hey, “dead man’s singles” isn’t a real thing, so what’s it doing there in the punchline? I’m guessing it was dialed back from “sudden death” — and if I’m right, we’ve just seen something judged too bleak even for Funky Winkerbean. Cormac McCarthy, the field is yours alone!

But for real nightmare fuel, imagine coming back to life as newspaper Spider-Man:

Spiderrr-Man (panels), 9/19/10

Spidey, self-awareness is not a path you want to go down. Trust me on this one.



Avast, me hearties — happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day from the Comics Currrmudgeon!

– Cap’n Lumpy

146 responses to “Self-awareness Sunday”

  1. Arrgh!!!
    September 19th, 2010 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    So, “Talk Like a Pirate Day” means I get to debate the DMCA all day? ;-D

  2. Cap'n Lumpy
    September 19th, 2010 at 1:57 am [Reply]

    Yar, so she be.

  3. Poteet
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:00 am [Reply]

    Arrrrrrr. Cap’n Cranky’s head on that there torso is fodder fer me nightmares!

  4. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    I’m still not sure why Iron Man’s wearing a utility belt like DC’s Batman. Unless it’s where Tony keeps useful items… like subway tokens and Viagra pills!

  5. Poteet
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    Arrrrrrr again. Sorry, swabbies. Batiuk has messed up me mind so much that I’m mixin’ up his UN-masterpieces. That be Funky, not Crankshaft. Both of ‘em be crabby bilge-rats, to my way o’ thinkin’.

  6. Karmyn
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:15 am [Reply]

    FW Cayla, I can maybe understand wanting to look younger, but the only way les is ever going to truly love you is if you change your name to Lisa, shave your head, and die of breast cancer. Then you might have a small chance.

  7. Father Swimcoach Scoutmaster
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:42 am [Reply]

    Family Circus: Another day, another “storyline” I’ve seen before. When did Bil and Jeff turn into Lynn Johnston?

  8. Mars
    September 19th, 2010 at 3:04 am [Reply]

    Hey, who wouldn’t want to come back as newspaper Spider-Man? You get all the fame of being a superhero with as little work as possible. And you get to keep MJ too.

  9. ElkMeadow
    September 19th, 2010 at 3:26 am [Reply]

    Arrr, e’en though tis’ right in front o’ my eyes, I mightily can’t see Funky ha’in’ any muscle tone at all. Aye. And as for him playin’ tennis, when he ne’er did, e’en as a teenager, makes me suspect that someone *coughThoraxcough* has been messin’ with Alternate Uni’erses.

    Ahoy, whar’s Ig when you need him? Aye.

    “Boredom” be t’ title for Sunday’s Luann strip. Luann, Gunther and Knute, talkin’ about paint on school walls. Borin’, shiver me timbers!

    (Thanks, mates at t’ Pirate translation web-sites!)

  10. Girl Reporter
    September 19th, 2010 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    Hey everyone, sorry I’m late. Home Depot installed my replacement windows today. Hope I didn’t miss anything.

    What?

  11. Hyhybt
    September 19th, 2010 at 3:45 am [Reply]

    All right, how did the first half of this manage to show up on the RSS feed *two days ago*?

  12. Baka Gaijin
    September 19th, 2010 at 4:25 am [Reply]

    Pearls Before Swine: Best “Hagar the Horrible” ever!

    Pluggers: Haw haw! Pluggers don’t know how to use the free pocket calendar book the insurance company hands out every December. To forestall Chapter 7, Andy Bear LLC enters the lucrative “Bear wearing Post-it Notes” adult entertainment scene. Yes, I implied a Plugger stripper. Now I have to wash my brain out with Draino.

    Marvin: “Apparently Mom’s now strictly pro-choice. What does ‘post-partum abortion’ mean?”

    Rose is Rose: To quote Lady Aack Aack: BLEAH!

    Mary Worth: To quote Lady Aack Aack: BLEAH!

  13. Alfred E. Neuman
    September 19th, 2010 at 4:33 am [Reply]

    MT— Mark Trail says we ortin’ ta eat what we shoot. That be bilge! Any sea dog worth his salt prefers t’ be havin’ his lass eat what he shoots.

  14. zamros
    September 19th, 2010 at 4:53 am [Reply]

    Check out Momma today. Not only is it interesting because it’s the laziest crossover ever, but it’s also worth noting that it mixes the most apparent Jewish character in the comics with the most apparent Fundamentalist Christian characters.

  15. Shadrach
    September 19th, 2010 at 4:54 am [Reply]

    J. Jonah Jameson, I can’t for the life of me figure you out. Normally you get your 1940s BVDs in a bunch whenever Spidey does something. Now you’re bitching him out for…not doing anything? Make up your mind, dude!

  16. Push Trot
    September 19th, 2010 at 5:30 am [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie looks adorable in that teddy, but when can we see the REAL outfit?

    Snuffy Smith: For anyone familiar with the parson that’s a “yes”.

    MT: And now we know why Mark Trail, a opposed to Dick Tracy and the Phantom, doesn’t carry a firearm.

    S-M: ‘Nuff said, Uncle Lumpy.

    My Cage: Gold.

    Luann: Ooo, Luann made a joke! Wait a minute… no, no it didn’t. Sorry.

    Now lads, let move! You, you and you, break open the weapons! You, you and you, into the riggings! And you, put the kettle on.

  17. Mordock999
    September 19th, 2010 at 6:27 am [Reply]

    Today’s 09/19/10

    “Nice joke Gunther, but you STILL aren’t gonna get LAID this semester.” — Luann

    ____________________________
    DEATH to TJ, the Scurvy Dog!!!!

  18. dreadedcandiru2
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:11 am [Reply]

    Here’s something that should be of interest to True Fable: an explanation of the smacky, messy, gobbly, nasty way that the Pattersons of Foobland CHOMP-CHEW-SLOP-SLUPP down their food. Lynn’s notes about today’s strip:

    In our house, it was of utmost importance to maintain good table manners. My mother went so far as to give us eating lessons. My brother and I learned to sit straight with a yardstick down our backs and a “Golden Book” under each arm.

    We learned how to use our fork and knife in the English style, cutting with wrists up, dabbing the edibles onto the back of the fork. (Rarely should one “stab” at one’s food.) We were never to talk with our mouths full; never to reveal the mastication going on inside. Eating was often an ordeal. The benefits of the lessons, however, came to the fore at summer camp when we were the only kids who could eat comfortably while crushed onto a wooden bench with a line of other campers.

    If mom saw us chewing with our mouths open, there was instant objection. This, of course made it mandatory that we eat as rudely as possibly when the moment was ripe. This strip was done in memory of these unfettered times.

    tell me that Pattersnarfing exists because she’s still pissed off because her mother insisted that she eat like a human being instead of a barnyard animal.

  19. zerowolf
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    MW: After taking the entire week to rehash two weeks of plot over dinner, Sunday is devoted to rehashing the rehash of the past week while on a boardwalk overlooking an ocean of green dye #4.

  20. zerowolf
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    A3G: No less painful the second time around.

  21. zerowolf
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    BGSS: Has Jughead ever seen a telephone? Does anyone in Hootin Holler even have a telephone?

  22. MWDG
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    MW:
    Is that Frankenstein in the lower left corner of Sunday’s strip?! Who is the couple in the last panel behind Dr. M and Jenna? It looks like Bonnie Johnson has found herself a new man!

  23. The Ridger
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    Re the Sinfest discussion yesterday: Are we about to see Criminy brave Hell for Fuchsia?

  24. zerowolf
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    MT: We take a break from our regularly scheduled wife beating to bring you a message on masturbation. Remember, Please don’t waste, eat what you shoot.

  25. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 19th, 2010 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    Arlo & Janis — Arlo’s a fan of the Lingerie Football League! (Be sure to mark your calendars… the 2011 Lingerie Bowl is scheduled to be played in Las Vegas, Nevada on Sunday, February 6!)

    Nancy — Sluggo can’t go to the beach… he has “mono”!

    Soup to Nutz — When spooks run wild!

    Scary Gary — A legless sofa and cushions with all the stuffing removed… welcome to Gary’s world!

  26. Gabacho
    September 19th, 2010 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth – I admit, heterosexuals relationships have always confused me. Please do not take offense, but I am asking the heterosexuals on the Comics Curmudgeon to please explain to me how this works.

    When a man goes out on a date with a woman for the first time, is it obligatory for him to declare his life long intentions? If he fails to do so, is the woman required to drink large amounts of cheap wine and consult with her elders about how hurt she is? Finally, do women find it attractive to date a man who spends his time explaining his conflicting feelings towards his recently dead father? And do men find the demands from a woman on the first date for total commitment a turn on?

    Again, I intend to offend no one but you heterosexuals are a strange bunch.

    Thank you for any information you may provide.

    Apt 3G – speaking of straight, this whole makeover story is what Sex and the City would have been if it was written by heterosexual men. How do you manage to make campy, period characters dull?

    Beetle Bailey – thank God for a return to normalcy as the large, chub bottom gets warmed up for the two horny soldiers. You see, straights? That’s how romance should be done.

  27. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:09 am [Reply]

    MC: utter and fantastic amounts of WIN! (Even if I will have the Family Guy song in my head all morning.)

    PBS: sorry, Pastis, Ed & Mel did the legacy-strip reference joke better.

    RwO: weakest meta-strip reference of the day, but bonus points for being mentioned in the Lumpy Post. :-)

    Ted Forth, fanservice man.

    9Cl: should have just left it as a larger version of the two throw-away panels. Fanservice win, punchline fail.

    CdS: Piratical win. in a cAAAARRRRt!.

    HotC: Dean is the man. A very well done strip.

    A&J: Janis picks Brady and the Pats again.

    Frazz: Mallett has been watching the classic Willy Wonka, perhaps?

    FT: classic, D&D/mythological geekery at it’s finest.

    Tank: tl,dr.

    posting prior to reading the late/early posts, apologies for any oversnark.

  28. True Fable
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    @dreadedcandiru2 (#18):

    dc2, this does not surprise me. What does surprise me is that her fans actually profess to admire the way the Pattersons eat like hogs. “You must have a camera in my house, Lynn! OooOOOOH!” Christ, I hope not.

    Oh my dear Lynnie Baby,

    You have the oddest ways to express defiance to your upbringing. You know, my sweet little Canadian Mist, you could have gone to therapy to work through these anger issues with your mother, rather than subject comics readers to the nauseating sight of a crowd of pudgy characters CHOMP GRUNT CHEW GULP SWALLOW EAT their way through meals. Ah my dear old dried up tundra princess, you know just how to put people off meals, don’t you? But here’s the thing, O little plush Farley hawker: people don’t cut out your comic and stick it on the refrigerator because they are timeless jewels that encapsulates the human condition; it’s because seeing the Pattersons shovel the Canadian equivalent of Salmon Squares down their throats is enough to make all but the biggest glutton go on a diet.

    That is a valuable life lesson to learn, along with “never trust a porntasche who picks the worst time to profess his undying love” and “career women are EVIL” and “children exist solely to make their lazy, frumpy bun-wearing dumb-as-a-post mother miserable”. Oh, and “all men are EVIL”, can’t forget that. I’m sure you’ll remind us at least once a week.

    I know you want me, Lynnie Baby. I can tell by the glassy stare from your eyes that you’re either pining for a goat roper from Greater Metropolitan Roopville, or the toxins from thousands of overpriced plush Farley toys are finally getting to you. But call it a funny little quirk of mine, but I rather LIKE to see people using good table manners, even comic strip characters.

    The spittle issue was what sent me running for the exits years ago when you first drew all the CHOMP BITE CHEW GULP SLURP panels. Now I find out that you have the Pattersons do that simply to defy your mother’s table manners lessons. Yeah, that’ll show her. Does this mean we’re also going to see the Pattersons kill someone? Because you were most likely raised not to do that either, so it only follows that one of the Pattersons – probably Mike because he’s such a prime asshole anyway – will represent you breaking away from the way your mother raised you. And who knows what kind of ingredients are in those casseroles Elly’s always baking? (Timothy! Timothy! Joe was looking at you/ Timothy! Timothy! God what did we do?)

    Truman A. Fable
    One Badass Masticator

  29. Vince M
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    Here’s that special something for the next Charterstone pool party…

  30. True Fable
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Crossed wires, Lynnie Johnston: the first lesson to be learned from you should have read “trust a pornstache even though he hits on single young women while he’s still married, and hit on them especially after they’ve been assaulted by a Milborough Mutant.” It was I who learned to NEVER trust such a person but not you, Lynnie! Not you! Anthony was such a great guy according to John Patterson, who noted that Anthony was just like him in many ways, something that should have made little red flags wave in the brainpan and sent Liz screaming out of there like she had a bottle rocket in her ass and someone lit the fuse.

  31. John C Fremont
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    @Gabacho (#26): To answer your questions; Yes, of course, yes, and hell yes! Hope this clears up any confusion.

    I mean, yar.

  32. Cap'n Lumpy
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @Hyhybt (#11):

    All right, how did the first half of this manage to show up on the RSS feed *two days ago*?

    Arrr, yer Cap’n got a wee mite a’head o’ hi’self. Preview be yer mate, aye, but “publish” she be not.

  33. mayzshon
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    @Gabacho (#26): Well, if your old fashioned, you might wait till the first date, but in these modern, fast paced times, most couples are well into divorce proceedings before actually meeting each other.

  34. mayzshon
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    arrgh, I meant “you’re”

  35. TheDiva
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    FW: This strip being what it is, I have to conclude those aren’t muscles on Funky’s disturbingly exposed abdomen, but a collection of oddly symmetrical tumors.

    Luann: Gunther made a joke? When?

    MC: Thumbs up, for both the concept and the fact that “Funky Winkerbean” has apparently been used as a substitute for “hell.”

    MW: Wow, normally you have to be in Chicago on St. Patrick’s Day to see water that color.

    Pluggers cannot afford a day calendar, much less an office or permanent residence.

  36. Hank
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    @zamros (#14): Just out of curiosity, what makes people think the Keanes are “fundamentalist Christians,” as opposed to people who just happen to regularly and openly practice the same Christian faith as the vast majority of the US population? Serious question. I really want to know.

  37. The Ridger
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#27): What? He’d rather read Byron than dum dee dum dee till the cows come home? Is her hold on him fading?

  38. teenchy
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#12): Re PBS: I alluded to this yesterthread (since I get the Sunday comics on Saturday) but didn’t want to play spolier.

    I thought the whole concept of comics relegation would make good discussion fodder today. So let’s have at it, ‘mudges: Pick a strip, take its weakest character and relegate them to another strip. I’ll throw one out for a start: Baldo‘s Gracie relegated to FW. Smug precocious preteen could use a season in the bleak house of the Funkiverse to bring her down a few pegs.

  39. gleeb
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Zig: They be keepin’ the satori to themselves and boastin’ of it!

    Scalawag Fox: There be no happy fish in the fetid canals o’ Venice!

    Zip: “Dingburgers…” Devil take them! I’ll not be readin’ that!

    The Foul-Handed, Pirate-Hating Phantom: An odd gladness fills them, seein’ as their daughter were blasted to atoms! Yar har har har!

  40. The Ridger
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Hank (#36): The Keanes are actually Catholic – at least the cartoon family is. Not obtrusively so, but obviously.

  41. Bizarro Stormy
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    @Gabacho (#26): That’s exactly how dating works, except you forgot the most important ritual by far: going out to dinner. You see, the choice of both restaurant and food dictate exactly how the night will proceed, and Dr. Mike’s choice of taupe oblong food-things is a powerful choice. Such a purchase says to the lady, “Here’s a seat and something to snack on; you’ll need them both to get through the riveting tale of vigilantism I’m about to ramble on about.”

  42. gleeb
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    @Hank (#36): I can’t speak for anyone else, but the fact that Dead Grandfather sits on a cloud in a nightshirt watching his posterity is the kind of imagery I associate with folks who believe in Biblical inerrancy, sabbatarianism, and young-Earth creationism.

  43. The Ridger
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    PV: You know, I’m kind of looking forward to stories about Val the nerd. Probably brown-noser and curve-crusher, too. I bet Coel really hates him. I foresee delicious tales of embarrassment ahead.

  44. agony
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Jeff Redfern relegated to Zits. His videogame playing ass would settle right down there on that couch.

  45. Black Drazon
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    I checked My Cage to see if it was following down the same meta path as these other comics like it was last week, but now I’m just confused as to whether these comics were drawn after the bad news or what.

    As for Sinfest, is this the first time other than L’il Evil that someone has actually told Seymour off? That didn’t occur to me at first but I really think that iS1

    This comic also made me wonder about these full-page sundays. If Dark Horse actually carried the comics up to the present day, I’m afraid I can only imagine those being problematic, even though he keeps them at what looks like page-size.

  46. tb4000
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    That’s a CHICK in Rhymes with Orange?! Not because I feel pants on a woman is some horrible butch lesbian stereotype, but that drawing your women like dudes is.

  47. Hank
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    @gleeb (#42): I can’t speak for anyone else, but the fact that Dead Grandfather sits on a cloud in a nightshirt watching his posterity is the kind of imagery I associate with folks who believe in Biblical inerrancy, sabbatarianism, and young-Earth creationism.

    No, dead people sitting on clouds is pretty basic Christian imagery pop culture from what I’ve seen. Just off the top of my head, I can think of a couple of Tom and Jerry cartoons with that sort of thing. And there was the old Christmas special “the littlest angel,” which (while obviously Christian) was a very mainstream story.

    What do you consider “mainstream” Christianity vs fundamentalist?

  48. Buck Ripsnort
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    A3G: Speaking of self-aware, is Tommie talking to the studio audience, or the readers? “That’s right, I’m here to stay! And to take up space in this strip whether you bastards like it or not!”
    Honestly, I’ve never really minded Tommie. She’s like Larry in the Three Stooges, or the Ref in pro wrestling; unnecessary, but everything would be completely different without her.

  49. MyUsernamesmMud
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    It doesn’t matter whether you’ve guns, missiles and a utility belt full of handy gadgets. Nothing will ever beat the pimp slap in sheer devastation.

  50. Gold-Digging Nanny
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    I have to spread some love today. The throwaway panels in RMMD are hilarious, and I love the Six Differences in today’s SFx! You can tell, the duck is like, “Can I mate with this thing? It has a bill….”

  51. Bryan
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#4): I’m still not sure why Iron Man’s wearing a utility belt like DC’s Batman. Unless it’s where Tony keeps useful items… like subway tokens and Viagra pills!

    Don’t forget a bottle of Scotch

  52. John E.
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Spidey really ought to patent that web-slinging device, sell it, and retire on the proceeds.

    On the other hand, what would he do if he retired? Probably just sit around watching TV all day.

  53. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @tb4000 (#46): umm, tb4000, you do realize that Hilary Price *is* a lesbian? (and also a very cute redhead.)

  54. Hank
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#53): I clicked on your link but there was some sort of problem with the picture. All I saw was a shot of Conan O’Brien dressed as Prince Valiant.

  55. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    Lio – I think Lio and Becca-Boo should go camping with Pasquale and whatever his guardian clone is called.

    9 – Some Sunday we’ll have a strip about how darn sexy Edda is and how darn feline cats are. The Bifecta!

    Slylock – The tourist who made a small mistake in his story is the criminal. Small mistakes are a felony punishable by a term of imprisonment of not less than fifteen minutes and not more than two hours in the correctional institution in Duckburg.

    Piranha – I expect that the picture in the last panel, if viewed at something approaching normal size and resolution, is the punch line. Little help, anybody?

    Smirky – Dead inside: how fitting.

  56. wossname
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    JP – OK, color monkeys, listen up. When they say somebody has red hair, it does not (usually) mean crimson or scarlet. It’s more of a darkish orangish brown, really. (Kind of like Lu Ann’s “rich brown” in A3G.) However, thank you for your efforts at compliance.

    OTOH, thank God, a strip with no moping Jules! (Or as we call him en français, Jules mopant.)

    MT – Most birds tilt back their heads while drinking. Lorikeets, however, roll around in tubs of swill.

    RMMD – The throwaway panels are the best part. Just in case we had any doubts about whether we’re supposed to dislike Dick McCombover.

  57. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    Rx – Having cancer has made Hizzoner the talk of the town! He’s suddenly more interesting, and people want to sit at his desk and chat with him over a cuppa. He’s a regular Johnny Carcinogen!

    Mary – Now you be sure and listen to Mary’s advice, Mike! She knows best, even though she may be blunt and outspoken.

    Dennis – (I saw elsewhere that the Dennis artist auctioned off the cameo (the Disturbing twins) for charity, with the approval of Mrs. Ketcham. They also said it was a one-time event.)

    Pirate Talk – You like Justin Beaver? Justin Beaver concert video! Shot live in concert. Also new scary monster movie, not in theater yet. Monster is devil in elevator! Big surprise at end. Exclusive here, good quality. Hey, c’mon! Only ten dollars!

  58. tb4000
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#53):

    And with that, nay, I did not know this. I hate when a snark backfires. :(

  59. kkarenb
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    MW – The thought balloon in the last panel is the first sign of sanity in this strip in the past month. And it’s coming from a drunk!

    FW – If Tom Batyuk had any self-awareness or sense of humor about himself, I would say that he’s putting us on. However, since he doesn’t, I can only shake my head in disgust.

    Pickles – Credit where credit is due. The cartoonist knows how knitting is done.

    Relegation – Throw the entire crew of Rose is Rose into Funky Winkerbean. It would be like the old Superman stories which showed an irresistible force meeting an immovable object. BOOM!

  60. NoahSnark
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    Is that Bull over Deadman’s chest? Yo ho ho – and a bottle of snark.

  61. MooncattieARRR
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    PBS – Total win! And I don’t think that’s a West Brom kit he’s wearing – too much green.
    BAGGIES BAGGIES BOING BOING!

    MW – So that’s how I find a gal to love? By talking like that? Or is it just the jacket with the puncture marks that’s doing the trick?

    Luann – For a split-second, Gunther realizes the nature of his universe, an irritating comic strip, and can smile in the knowledge that he is a benign second-banana therein. Go Gunther!

    JP – Manly Men and Lovely Ladies Alert! It’s just happens so rarely in this place.

    PV – All the while I’m thinking “Where’s Ig? What does he think about all this?” There really should be an Adventures of Ig spin-off, as he’s much more interesting than Prince Val.

  62. Flummoxicated
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    MW: Only in the Worthiverse is it acceptable to declare your love on the second date – after describing your dysfunctional family.

    FW: I saw the giant “Deadman” headline and thought, “Finally! Truth in advertising!”

  63. Tales to Enrage
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    In the second panel we see Spiderman’s Robert Robertson: The living embodiment of “Too Old For This Shit.”

  64. Black Drazon
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @Bryan (#51): It’s just assumed!

  65. Peanut Gallery
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    MT – So, to sum up the lessons of the current daily and Sunday strips, it will be okay to shoot Lucky the Baby Deer, as long as they eat it afterward.

  66. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    random but funny.

    srs otter is srs.

  67. commodorejohn
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    A3G – So…drawing sideboob is A-okay, but cleavage is forbidden? (Also, was Tommie always that stacked?)

    AS – Well, the joke makes me want to murder someone, but I have to admit that I’m kind of impressed, since Hillburn seems to have finally, however temporarily, restrained his nearly-inevitable tendency to bury any semblance of a working joke in great heaping mountains of awkward verbage and unnecessary explanation. I mean, I seriously had to actually think about this one for a moment, and for The Argyle Sweater, that’s saying something.

    BBlue – The moral of this story is “never trust anyone.”

    BlC – How did Bloom County get printed in the 1980s, anyway?

    Crankshaft – KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL

    DT – The Chicago Sun-Times prints its articles in Rhodian? Who knew?

    FoxTrot – This is why I love FoxTrot.

    FW – I was going to say something like “finally, Funky Winkerbean uses an appropriate comic,” but then I looked up Deadman, and he’s got things like a sense of purpose and a deity that wants to help him instead of, say, tormenting him for decades before finally offing him, so if anything I think he’s actually too cheery for this strip.

    MT – I love Mark Trail‘s schizophrenic approach to talking about game animals. “Here’s a fun fact about doves! Also, millions of them are going to be killed this fall! Hey, did you know the mourning dove is a songbird? Doves care for their babies! Fortunately, they’re doing okay despite all the hunting! Make sure to eat the ones you kill!”

    MW – And the moral of the story is: girls, if he doesn’t call after the very first date, it means he has unresolved, deep-seated emotional issues, which can be easily resolved in one meeting and are nothing to be concerned about!

    MC – “Who the Funky Winkerbean are you?” Think I might have to start working that one into everyday conversation.

    PV – So Coel is that guy that you desperately hope not to run into at the class reunion, huh?

    RMMD – See, obviously they want us to think “sleaze” when we see this guy, but I’m more thinking “Wilbur.”

    SF – Ooh, artsy.

    Shoe – Someone is woefully unclear on the definition of perjury.

  68. Hibbleton
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @teenchy (#38):

    Come on, dude. Even someone as obnoxious as Gracie doesn’t deserve exile to the funkyverse. It’s downright child abuse.

  69. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    MT was interesting today. Michigan has had an ongoing kerfluffle for decades trying to get a morning dove hunting season, and the Audubon types keep stopping it. They are supposed to be very challenging to hit, and while it’s pretty much just the breast that is edible, it’s supposed to be tasty.

  70. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    “mourning”

    /facepalm

  71. Arrrgh...
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    A- a beer

    B- beer

    C- those 7 things we sail on

    D- de beer (german pirate)

    E- e needs a beer

    F- efery one needs a beer

    G- G, why am i out of beer

    H- H and everyone of ya need a beer

    I- what u say to the captn

    J- the guy that serves the beer

    K- jays wife

    L- ah ladies present

    M – All of M need beers!

    N – N-y-one got any more beer?

    O- O why am i out of beer

    P- what u do after drinking beer

    Q- damn french word

    AAARRRRRGGGHH- a pirates favorite word

    S- what u fall on after drinking beer

    T- what we fought the british for

    U- u need a beer

    V- ve need beer

    W- u and u need a beer

    X- jays ex wife

    Y- am i out of beer

    Z- ze beer (swedish pirate)

  72. The Ridger
    September 19th, 2010 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#67): I love the hidden implicature: doves have way too many babies! Fortunately, we kill most of them!

  73. ElkMeadow
    September 19th, 2010 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#59):

    Pickles – Credit where credit is due. The cartoonist knows how knitting is done.

    A FIRST IN COMIC/CARTOONDOM!!!

  74. Here Come ole Flattop
    September 19th, 2010 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#54): All rise. The king of snark has arrived! Too f’n funny!

  75. sully
    September 19th, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Check out Robbie Robertson (or whatever his name is)’s face in the last panel of Spider-bore. Is it an expression of disgust for his lot in life, hatred for J.J.J., who refuses to retire or die, embarrassment for his token performance in a pointless role in a useless strip, or perhaps all of the above? Not since the Mona Lisa has a facial expression told us so much, or so little.

  76. Dood
    September 19th, 2010 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    So Tommie says, “I love my hair and clothes! They’re me, but modern.” Is there any reader that would actually believe this?

  77. Dood
    September 19th, 2010 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    I thought the whole idea of Iron Man’s suit was to moot the notion of needing a utility belt like the one used by Batman, the Caped Crusader/Contractor.

  78. BillZBub
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Gabacho(#26)

    You are assuming the characters in Mary Worth are heterosexual. This is in error. They are meddle-sexuals.

    (long time lurker, first time poster, blah blah blah)

  79. Ukulele Ike
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    MT: Mmmmmmmmmmm….dove en brochette….dove paprikas….dove cacciatore….Buffalo dove wings with Roquefort dressing….fried dove, Maryland-style…. Too bad I don’t own a rifle. Would it be all right if I just killed those doves with my bare hands?

    JP: Jules and whatsisname ARE beginning to look alike. And Ned has to choose between a depressive shoe designer whose shoes fall apart, is broke, estranged from his family, and has a bad back….and a guy studying law at Harvard. So any sane person would pick Jules.

    Sinfest: Just beautiful. Thank you, Tat.

  80. Bill Murray
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    @MooncattieARRR (#61): Total win! And I don’t think that’s a West Brom kit he’s wearing – too much green.
    BAGGIES BAGGIES BOING BOING!

    definitely not West Brom, or anyone in the EPL. Looks like Norwich City colorwise, but they don’t normally wear stripes. Although did wear this (http://blog.oldfootballshirts.com/2009/04/17/exploding-canaries-norwich-city-home-kit-1992-1994/) kit for two years. I suppose it could be a keepers jersey. Or Newton Heath, who eventually sort of turned into ManU, but ManU is hardly in relegation trouble

  81. Bill Murray
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @MooncattieARRR (#61):

    looking at old football shorts, the Baggies often have worn green and yellow as their away shirt http://www.oldfootballshirts.com/en/teams/w/west-bromwich-albion/old-west-bromwich-albion-football-shirts-t44.html

  82. Baka Gaijin
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    @BillZBub (#78): For the record, meddle-sexuals can get married in only 5 states.

  83. Poteet
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    Monday Spoilers

    LUANN — The Brad ‘n Toni Show continues, and Poteet idly wonders whether any resulting spawn would have Brad’s lima-bean head or Toni’s giant skull.

    ReFoob — Women hate football! What an original and unstereotypical observation! Ha ha!

  84. gleeb
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    @ Hank (#47) Look, I said I can’t speak for anyone else, just what I perceive, so don’t get bent out of shape if my view is different from yours. And I view, in this century, drawing nightshirt-wearing dead souls watching over the living as being associated with certain kinds of theology. Which is what you asked in the first place: why do people assume the Keanes are of an evangelical bent?

  85. carbunicle
    September 19th, 2010 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @kkarenb (#59): “FW – If Tom Batyuk had any self-awareness or sense of humor about himself, I would say that he’s putting us on. However, since he doesn’t, I can only shake my head in disgust.”

    Yup. And he screwed up the color. And yeah, the head. Eesh. Couldn’t he go across the street and have Neal fix that up?

  86. Dark Corner
    September 19th, 2010 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    You’d think that, at a bare minimum, the “Popeye” artist ought to at least know what spinach leaves look like. (Ovate, i.e., not like a fern)

  87. Joe Blevins
    September 19th, 2010 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    FW: This comic is perfect for Talk Like a Pirate Day: “Fifteen Bypass Scars on Deadman’s Chest”

    But, goddamnit Funky, do I have to do your talking for you? Let’s try this again. “Playing again felt good.” There. Stop. You did something. You enjoyed it. Why can’t you just leave it at that? Why… WHY do you have to affix a paragraph of pain to every sentence of pleasure?

  88. Sequitur
    September 19th, 2010 at 3:34 pm [Reply]

    Arrrrrr!

    Ah, man. Look what that parrot did on my shoulder.

  89. MooncattieARRR
    September 19th, 2010 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#82):
    Arrrr, and one of them is “Total Insanity”, for which these two young lubbers be truly qualified or me real name ain’t Jim Hawkins which actually it really be pretty close to, arrrr, I forget what I was talkin’ about, oh yeah Mary Worth, arr, shiver etc.!

  90. MooncattieARRR
    September 19th, 2010 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Murray (#81):
    My gosh, do you think maybe Pastis is a West Brom supporter? There does seem to be some detail put into that shirt Goat is wearing.

  91. John C Fremont
    September 19th, 2010 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    @Dark Corner (#86): Yeah, but by now it’s kind of a tradition.

    I’m just glad Popeye’s canned spinach doesn’t look like the real thing. Yuuuuummy! I mean, yar!

  92. Poteet
    September 19th, 2010 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Tommie yelling “I’m back!” would make a lot more sense if she’d been more than a nonentity in the first place.

  93. Steve the Pocket
    September 19th, 2010 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    Lumpy’s comment about Funky Winkerbean got me to wondering: Which artist “would rather draw” these comic book panels than an actual comic strip? Back when I met Chuck Ayers in 2000, he said he does all the artwork for Crankshaft, but only pencils Funky Winkerbean and sends it back to Tom to ink and color. That was ten years ago, and a few years afterward there was an abrupt style shift that made me wonder what happened there.

    Maybe Ayers had a bout of manic depression brought on by having to read Funky Winkerbean every day and, after a brief stint in rehab, was forced to quit working on it. It would explain what happened to their year-long lead time too.

  94. Joe Blevins
    September 19th, 2010 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

    S-M (first panel): “Avast, ye scurvy mailmen! Ye’ll not bringin’ me any Publishers Clearin’house Sweepstakes en’elopes, and ye may way lay to that, me hearties!”

  95. Stroker Ace
    September 19th, 2010 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    FW – Next time play between noon & two. Let the heat take you, Funky – go toward the light.

  96. mr 12 oz can
    September 19th, 2010 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

    mary worth- anyone notice in panal 5 i think mike has a receding hairline but then giella put the ballloon over it . jenna must be a drunk mike has worn the same outfit to both dates plus she hasnt asked about his new hair color . also wasnt jenna suppose to talk about her father i havent heard one word about him. plus please stop calling lonnie a vigilante he never stopped a crime or solved one . his only crimes were getting so drunk his shirt rolled up and changing clothes with a guy who might know who killed richie

  97. Dark Corner
    September 19th, 2010 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    @John C Fremont (#91): Yes… I remember, as a Popeye-obsessed 7-year-old I once begged my mom to get me some canned spinach and was handed a bowl of green slime (like the Spook’s in “The Wizard of Id”)… it was 20 years before I could even look at fresh spinach again. Shiver me timbers…

  98. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    September 19th, 2010 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    @Steve the Pocket (#93): I think that John Byrne is doing the Sunday pencils, iirc.

    why he is doing so is quite beyond me.

  99. Bitter Scribe
    September 19th, 2010 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    For me, the only Deadman comic will be the one that ran in the January 1973 National Lampoon (the one with the classic “If You Don’t Buy This Magazine, We’ll Kill This Dog” cover). It was the saga, drawn in heroic-comic style, of a man who inserts his dead father’s preserved corpse into crime scenes to win an inheritance. There’s no way I can explain it in one sentence without sounding crazy, but trust me, it was hilarious.

  100. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 19th, 2010 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#67): I was going to say something like “finally, Funky Winkerbean uses an appropriate comic,” but then I looked up Deadman, and he’s got things like a sense of purpose and a deity that wants to help him instead of, say, tormenting him for decades before finally offing him, so if anything I think he’s actually too cheery for this strip.
    On the other hand, Deadman’s afterlife purpose was to find out who killed him and get revenge, and he finally found out that he was shot more or less at random by a hopeful candidate for the League of Assassins, and by the time Deady found out, the guy had already been killed by the League, so it was all pretty futile and unsatisfying… or, to put it in a word, FUNKY.

    @BillZBub (#78): Well, stick around. The more, the merrier, y’know.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#98): I keep wondering if Byrne’s doing art chores on the strip, but I don’t know one way or the other.

  101. pyano
    September 19th, 2010 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    Another difference between newspaper and comic versions: while the comics’ J. Jonah Jameson is a crazy guy who loathes Spider-man due to complex mental health issues, newspaper J. Jonah Jameson is an entirely rational and sane man (at least in regards to his feelings about Spider-Man, he’s still a malignantly narcissistic megalomaniac in general.)

  102. troy macgregor
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#84):

    @ Hank (#47) Look, I said I can’t speak for anyone else, just what I perceive, so don’t get bent out of shape if my view is different from yours. And I view, in this century, drawing nightshirt-wearing dead souls watching over the living as being associated with certain kinds of theology. Which is what you asked in the first place: why do people assume the Keanes are of an evangelical bent?

    I think I know why. To many of us, the Keanes represent a sort of “Stepford Wives”-esque image of Eisenhower-era suburban conformity. Add that with the fact there are four Keane kids (large for a modern family), never they have many friends or people from the outside world come visit them, and dead angel grampa following them around everywhere help make the jokes about them being wacky religious people.

  103. Poteet
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:12 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#69): Very sorry, because what follows will be waaaaaaaay TMI. The National Audubon Society, at least during the years when I was most active therein, had a very firm policy regarding dove hunting. That policy was “militant neutrality.” That’s basically because the national Audubon staff saw no real biological reason to oppose dove-hunting, but many members reeeeeally hated the idea. For a science-based conservation organization, that was an awkward situation.

    However, there are state and local Audubon organizations, and some took their own positions. I was a volunteer conservation lobbyist on the state level in Iowa, which does not allow dove hunting, and I came to hate the entire dove-hunting issue with a seething white-hot passion, because from my point of view, fighting over dove-hunting took up huge amounts of time and energy that were badly needed by important conservation issues. If MT ever has a dove-hunting storyline, I may drop out for the duration. Seeing today’s strip brought back enough bad memories. Gaaah!

  104. wossname
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    @Bitter Scribe (#99): It is slightly possible that I still have that National Lampoon somewhere (because of the “we’ll kill the dog” cover). But I may be confusing it with a National Lampoon high school yearbook parody. If I can find it (and please, no breath-holding) I’ll take a look.

  105. wossname
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#100): Deadman’s backstory sounds a lot like Lonnie’s. Did he get drunk and abandon his Ken-doll son, who ended up going to med school but being Unable to Love?

  106. carbunicle
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    @carbunicle (#85): Oops. I meant John.

  107. ElkMeadow
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

    Ahoy! Cul-de-sac has a pirate! Arrr!

  108. boojum
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Gabacho (#26): Dude. Mary Worth is where heterosexuality goes to die. Or, more correctly, where it is left to gibber and howl obscenely after it has gone horribly, horribly wrong.

  109. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    @Dark Corner (#97):

    Irving Berlin wrote a song that sums up my feelings about spinach nicely:

    I SAY SPINACH (AND THE HELL WITH IT)

    [VERSE:]
    We must keep smiling and play the game
    While life keeps hurrying on
    For there was trouble before we came
    ‘Twill be here after we’re gone
    So we’ll just have to prepare
    To snap our fingers at care

    [REFRAIN:]
    Long as there’s you, long as there’s me
    Long as the best things in life are free
    I say it’s spinach and the hell with it
    The hell with it, that’s all!

    Long as I’m yours, long as your mine
    Long as there’s love and a moon to shine
    I say it’s spinach and the hell with it
    The hell with it, that’s all!

    There must be rain to pitter-patter
    Things don’t come on a silver platter
    What does it matter?

    Long as there’s you, long as there’s me
    Long as the best things in life are free
    I say it’s spinach and the hell with it
    The hell with it, that’s all!

    There’s nothing to add except the one “your” should’ve been “you’re” — the site I copied this song from either transcribed it incorrectly or Mr. Berlin made a grammatical error!

  110. Dr. Duck
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    “Spidey, self-awareness is not a path you want to go down. Trust me on this one.”

    HA HA HA! That’s my vote for COTW right there!!

  111. Rich
    September 19th, 2010 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    Sunday’s FBOW: It’s time for another installment of “Look for the Signs That Lawrence Will Grow Up to be Gay”… (panel 3)

  112. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#104): It is slightly possible that I still have that National Lampoon somewhere (because of the “we’ll kill the dog” cover). But I may be confusing it with a National Lampoon high school yearbook parody.
    The “Deadman” story, as I recall it, was written by Henry Beard, then at the height of his power (and not having turned into a golf-joke book sort of writer), and illustrated magnificently by Neal Adams, who continued to do great stuff for the Lampoon even after he’d stopped most of his other comics work. They paid more. I have it in a box behind me here, which I delve into from time to time when I need to remember the exact wording of the parody of “Vespers” that showed up in a letters page in the “Food” issue.

    @wossname (#105): Deadman’s backstory sounds a lot like Lonnie’s. Did he get drunk and abandon his Ken-doll son, who ended up going to med school but being Unable to Love?
    No, but there are other awesome parallels. Did you know that Deadman had a secretary named Lonnie, whereas Lonnie had a secretary named Deadman?

  113. Riff Chick
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    avast ye scurvy sea-dogs and scalliwags! time for me riffs on the comics.

    “Give in to us! There’s too many and your doctor fucked up!!”
    “NEVER!…on second thought,changed my mind.”

  114. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#109): The song’s title comes from a classic New Yorker cartoon, with a mother saying, “It’s broccoli, dear,” and the daughter replying “I say it’s spinach, and I say the hell with it!” A quick look at my bookshelf confirms that this was drawn by Carl Rose. No idea who wrote it.

  115. Poteet
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#114): Thanks! Somehow I’d thought that was a Peter Arno cartoon, and I’m glad to be able to mentally credit the right person.

  116. carbunicle
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    The more I look at that Funky, the more annoyed I get. Ugh, ugh and ugh.

    A light box and a Sharpie. That’s your Sunday strip? Bite me.

  117. Poteet
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    9CL — Amos, YOU may think that sonnet describes Edda, but I’ll bet Lord Byron would take strong issue.

  118. commodorejohn
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    @carbunicle (#116): My feelings exactly. One of the few comic authors who can command an open canvas for Sunday strips, and this is what he does with it? And it’s not even like he’s trying to do a loving homage to these comics, since they rarely have anything to do with his work; he just wants us to associate Funky Winkerbean with comic books Graphic Novels. Go to hell, Batiuk.

  119. Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    So, today’s Chicago Tribune magazine section, usually stock full of great decorating tips on how to arrange your living room for best cat stroking photographs, has an article on what to do and what not to do on a second date. I read it. Yes, I’m approaching the four year mark of my relationship but still thought there might be an errant tip, and all I could think about was “Wait. Isn’t that soul-baring lunch between Dr. Mike and Jenna their second date?” I mean, this is Mary Worth but I’m sure she hasn’t seen his cock yet. Maybe a glimpse of it peaking out in the moonlight but not the whole enchilada. I want to throw this article at them and scream, “Read! Damn you!”

    But salmon squares will be so festive at their wedding reception.

  120. Baka Gaijin
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    @Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™ (#119): How to arrange your living room for pussy-stroking photos? Huh. And I thought the Trib was a family paper.

    Instead of throwing that article at them, throw the salmon squares and scream, “Damn you!” Salmon squares, if thrown correctly, will stick into human flesh like ninja stars. Don’t ask how I know this.

  121. greghousesgf
    September 19th, 2010 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    Hank@#47, Tom and Jerry cartoons are Christian??!

  122. Riff Chick
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @carbunicle (#116): I heart you.

  123. Rusty
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#118): I’m afraid he may have gone through that whole car crash story arc just so he could use this cover in a Sunday strip. It is entirely possible.

  124. Brimstone
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    i dunno… i unironically love Funky Winkerbean due to being kinda a depressed twenty-something and the Deadman tribute makes me love it EVEN MORE

  125. Riff Chick
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#118): It’s what happens when the artist you pay to draw your crappy ass strip (cuz you feel you need “serious” artwork to go with your “serious” art) actually wants to draw something closer to “serious” art.

    They get bored. They get really fucking bored. It’s just an excuse to draw something somewhat challenging and [gasp!] entertaining.

    I’m also not a fan of the “original” comic book style “homages,” so you won’t find me cheering for those when they’re published, either. It’s not even that Batiuk wants us to associate Cancerbean with comics. It’s that he wants us to associate it with something cool and entertaining.

    Bait n’ switch doesn’t work on us curmudgeons, Tommy, and it doesn’t work for the kind of audience you so desperately want to attract (the thinking intellectual kind). Close, but you’re way off.

  126. Riff Chick
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    @Rusty (#123): I would support such a hypothesis.

  127. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    @gleeb (#84):

    Bil Keane attended Northeast Catholic High School in Philadelphia, and I think he still considers himself a practicing Catholic.

  128. R(rr)ed Gr(rr)eenback
    September 19th, 2010 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    Uncle Lumpy, shouldn’t that have been Self-awarrrness Sunday”? …just be sayin’.

  129. boojum
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#36):

    Just out of curiosity, what makes people think the Keanes are “fundamentalist Christians,” as opposed to people who just happen to regularly and openly practice the same Christian faith as the vast majority of the US population? Serious question. I really want to know.

    The short (and sad) answer is: “Because they find them repellent and smug.” Like any other religion, Christianity is subtle and complex, capable of infinite personal and communal expressions. But only a small segment grabs the headlines, or sets an unpopular political/social agenda, and thus defines the group as a whole to those on the outside.

    I wonder, by the way, where you get the odd and hopeless optimistic idea that “the vast majority of the US population” regularly and openly practices the Christian faith; you can only presume this if you generalize the word so broadly as to strip it of any practical meaning.

    The fact is that all Christians tend to use the same terms, but we sometimes mean very different things by them. If you ask someone outside the faith the significant differences in the terms ‘evangelical,’ ‘fundamentalist,’ ‘born-again’ and ‘Bible-believing’ Christianity, they will simply stare at you. And rightly so – the church has done a poor job explaining the differences. But the result, in our cultural and political climate, is that ‘Christian’ — and, especially, ‘fundamentalist’ – is now understood by many to imply “socially conservative, anti-intellectual, and intolerant.” This is, of course, ridiculously simplistic and unjust. But it’s also far too often true for any of us to be comfortable.

    Please understand that this is not my own interpretation of the term ‘fundamentalist.’ It is, though, the meaning that many people I talk with attach to the term.

  130. boojum
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:07 pm [Reply]

    P.S. Sorry if that should have gone into the “forums” section. Bad form, and all that. But I’ve never really understood how to post there.

  131. seismic-2
    September 19th, 2010 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    O.K., it’s almost midnight. We can stop talking like pirates and now just pillage Josh’s liquor cabinet without saying “Arrrr!” while doing so. Of course, if you want instead to speak like a Scotsman while helping me haul away the crate of Laphroaig, feel free. Prof. Chinbeard would be proud.

  132. Poteet
    September 20th, 2010 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#131): Arrrrr. I’m an hour away from midnight here, so I’m going to keep arrrring a little longer. But I’d appreciate a wee drap of the Laphroaig. Talk about a liquor cabinet worth pillaging.

  133. Master Softheart
    September 20th, 2010 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#117): Actually, Poteet, I think that this comic’s dialog reflects Edda – or indeed most of the cast and the artist – more or less perfectly: an initial attempt at cultural pretentiousness by quoting the first few words that everyone recognizes of a poem half-remembered from a Freshman English course, followed by a fumbling lapse offering the reader no more knowledge or originality than one would expect from a moderately clever high school student. After trailing off in awkward silence at the revelation of their irrelevance and ignorance, we fumble on to a reference to cows and some juvenile sexual innuendo that hopefully obscures the embarrassment.

    Being someone who appreciates juvenile sexual innuendo and drawings of leggy blondes, I of course don’t mind.

  134. Rocky Stoneaxe
    September 20th, 2010 at 12:50 am [Reply]

    Pluggers… eat pancake batter mixed with Vaseline Hair Tonic and Scalp Conditioner!

    Funky Winkerbean — Geez… Les Moore has really let himself go!

    Blondie — Someone should start a support group for all the Golf Widows in the comics! (Just once I’d like to see a FEMALE character hit the links!)

    Shoe — Is today’s strip a shout out to the late Jeff MacNelly? (MacNelly, who was born September 17, 1947, is the creator of Shoe and Pluggers!)

  135. Poteet
    September 20th, 2010 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    @Master Softheart (#133): I’m no English maven, but I remembered that Byron’s lady had “raven tresses.” I also seemed to remember that his lady was “innocent” in some way, so I just looked up the poem, and sure enough, she has “a heart whose love is innocent.” Amos and Edda torpedoed the “innocent” part when they boinked on the Bosendorfer. Go find another poem, kids. Maybe one starting “There was a musician named Amos/Whose bold Belgian bonking was famous…

  136. Poteet
    September 20th, 2010 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    9/20 MW — Moy and Giella, I’m really, really, really sorry that I double-dog-dared you to come up with six more versions of the Doctor Mike Daddy Story a thread or two ago. REALLY sorry, okay??? Now stop with the torture already before some of us start gibbering.

  137. Poteet
    September 20th, 2010 at 1:03 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#135): Okay, this is really bad, but that’s what late nights are for. Arrrrrrr.

    There once was a cellist named Amos
    Whose bold Belgian bonking was famous.
    And if we said “Shit,
    It’s so stupid we quit!”
    No sane fan of comics could blame us.

  138. Master Softheart
    September 20th, 2010 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#135): Maven or not, you clearly have a more subtle grasp of language, symbolism, walking in beauty, and very probably the night than our auteur.

    The question of whether you would look better in that odd asymmetric blue number I would defer to Fashion Police…

  139. Master Softheart
    September 20th, 2010 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#137): Given the circumstances, Byron would certainly approve.

  140. Poteet
    September 20th, 2010 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    @Master Softheart (#138): Thank you, Master Softheart. And I meant to observe, before my annoyance with 9CL distracted me, that your paragraph describing the strip was absolutely spot-on.

  141. Poteet
    September 20th, 2010 at 1:18 am [Reply]

    9/20 9CL — So we are now to believe that during a long and distinguished career as a top European opera star, Kiesl remained completely obsessed with and faithful to Edie?

    I’d try another limerick about the divine male-subduing powers of Burber Women, but as a mere mortal woman, I am not worthy.

  142. Poteet
    September 20th, 2010 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    9/20 ReFoob — So apparently she’s tied to a chair every fall and forced to watch football. This strip used to be more twisted than I had realized.

  143. Uncle Lumpy
    September 20th, 2010 at 1:41 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#141):

    Here ya go:

    Mistress Edda, the blonde coryphée,
    Juliette in her fur negligée,
    And queen Edie the Crone –
    Men all flock to their throne
    To submit, acquiesce, and obey.

  144. Government Cheese
    September 20th, 2010 at 1:43 am [Reply]

    MW: It seems by the end of the second panel Dr. Mike and his soon-to-be lover are aging quite rapidly. Maybe they shouldn’t have taken that walk by Three Mile Island.

    Luann: Toni is definitely the smart one. “Yes! Let’s solve our problems by marriage!” Haven’t you ever seen an after-school special Brad?

    FW: When did Osama start working at Montoni’s?

  145. jmy9595
    September 21st, 2010 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Anyone else noticed that Funky Winkerbean now just looks like old Chevy Chase?

  146. dale
    September 23rd, 2010 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    “Avast, me hearties — happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day from the Comics Currrmudgeon!
    – Cap’n Lumpy”

    It took a while for this to register, but did you really mean “avast”?

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