Archive: Rhymes with Orange

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Hi and Lois, 6/25/24

Over at here at Hi and Lois, we’re working to reassure you that it’s not just desperate old people falling for those “Make Money At Home – Set Your Own Hours!” scams on Facebook. No, teenagers are falling for them too! Or at least we’re pretty sure they are. We asked our grandson “What’re you looking at on your phone, buddy? Facebook?” and his grunted reply seemed like an affirmative, so we’re running with that.

Rhymes With Orange, 6/25/24

Um actually Adam, it wasn’t the “tree of knowledge,” it was the “tree of knowledge of good and evil,” so maybe you can annoy your wife when the kid gets to his ethics homework, huh? Oh, what’s that, you, as one of the only two adult humans alive, weren’t planning on teaching him ethics? Do you want to raise Cain, the first murderer? Because that’s how you get Cain, the first murderer.

Marvin, 6/25/24

[desperately trying to think of something non-poop related to say about Marvin] You ever notice how messed up the feet in Marvin look? Check out those feet! The heels are sticking out further from the leg than the toes! And those toes … well, just try imagining what they look like under those “shoes”! Ha ha! Real messed up, right? Messed up enough to purge all thought of the poop jokes from your mind?

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Kevin and Kell, 6/6/24

I know I don’t talk about Kevin and Kell, the comic strip about weird corporate furries, very often, but I can’t look at the wildly fucked up limb situation in panel three and not inflict it on you. How does he hold that phone? How does he walk? It’s troubling.

Mary Worth, 6/6/24

Mary has snapped and decided to end Wilbur’s reign of self-pity with violence. She will force him to love and respect himself, or kill him in the attempt.

Pluggers, 6/6/24

Pluggers exist in a sort of fog, unsure what day it is or where they’re going, and are driven forward only by the vague but unshakeable knowledge that they are in urgent need of medical attention.

Rhymes With Orange, 6/6/24

You ever wonder where the Jolly Green Giant takes a dump? If you guessed “right in the middle of some field, where everyone can see him,” well, congrats, sicko, it turns out you have a lot better handle on giant-shitting lore than I do.

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Blondie, 5/28/24

I think it’s very telling that Dagwood doesn’t seem to particularly care about getting to work on time using this new futuristic technology; instead, he’s mostly interested in taunting his supposed friends after he beats them in a competition they didn’t even realize they were part of.

Rhymes With Orange, 5/28/24

You know you’re of A Certain Age when you see this cartoon and don’t really care about the flat stomach aspect but instead think about your creaky, increasingly hunched back and say “Would this work on my BACK? Yes, please, just do it, smoosh me out, squish me flatter, I’m BEGGING YOU”

Dick Tracy, 5/28/24

The newspaper comics are a fundamentally great medium because there are days when you don’t know you want a whole panel of some guy with a comically archaic mustache seen from a weird angle, but then you get it and you think, “Yes, this is what I wanted. Thank you for this.”