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Law & Order: Canadian Victims’ Unit

For Better Or For Worse, 10/9/06

Well! The witnesses need to stay in town, you say? That sure is inconvenient for any of the witnesses that might have out-of-town boyfriends that they’re trying to build a relationship with! And plenty convenient for total losers who have nowhere else to go but might be able to wear down the objects of their affection with their constant mewly, schlumpy presence! Yes, it appears that every aspect of Liz’s near-rape ordeal has been calculated to ease Anthony’s wooing process. Years from now, they had better have a good child therapist on retainer for the moment when their kids finally ask the inevitable “So how did you guys finally get together” question.

Note also that Anthony is staring at Liz’s ass in the first panel.

I’d say that we’re at least going to get an introduction to Canada’s fascinating, British-derived legal system out of all this, but surely the only law this strip will be obeying is the Law of Narrative Convenience. For starters, who exactly is this bald fellow our power couple is talking to? Ontario’s official Junior Minister for Exposition?

B.C., 10/9/06

Things this deranged B.C. might possibly mean:

  1. Columbus’ actions upon his “discovery” of Hispaniola began a legacy of enslavement and genocide that forever tainted the European colonial enterprise in the Americas.
  2. What we need are more leaders like Columbus, who don’t let considerations of “political correctness” prevent them from getting done what needs to be done.
  3. Them colored folk sure are good at the ball games.
  4. MADNESS MADNESS MADNESS

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/9/06

“Elvis.” Huh. I … I don’t think any of us were expecting that. Well played, Rex Morgan, well played.

155 responses to “Law & Order: Canadian Victims’ Unit”

  1. Albatross
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    Through my 31ite haxx0r skilz I have managed to hack into the Mary Worth database, and download tomorrow’s strip.

    Enjoy!!

  2. Tommie’s Dream ”Date”
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    It is so hard to get respect when you are a violent, thieving, tatooed, drug-addicted Charles Manson look-alike.

  3. Bitter Scribe
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Why Haiti and not the Dominican Republic, which is on the same island and has sent many, many players to the big leagues?

    But that would be indulging in racial stereotypes, I guess. Or else Hart (or the guy who does his lettering) didn’t feel like spelling out “Dominican Republic.”

    OT, check out the Nietzsche Family Circus Generator, which pairs a random Family Circus with a random quote from the great German philosopher:

    http://www.losanjealous.com/nfc/

  4. Marion Delgado
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Thank you, thank you on BC!

    I think it’s along the lines of, take that you Columbus Haters! Yeah, he killed everyone on Hispaniola (Dominica and Haiti) and exterminated an entire race all by his lonesome, and you know what? That’s what makes him a Christian hero and a great man! Goddamn PC Indian-hugging blame-Amerigo-first guttersnipes! Lilliputian secularists tying down Columbus!

    I’ll show em! I’ll show em! Take THAT! Har har har har!

    By the way, Josh, you should really look at Wizard of Id. It’s a weird food stamp joke. Uh what? Even more than BC, the setting is a joke – not even the least attempt to tailor anything to the nominal time and place. BC and Id are the two most phoned-in strips I can think of.

    Unless … Wizard of Id takes place at a perpetual RENAISSANCE FAIRE! And many of the people involved ARE on food stamps! Groovy!

  5. andreavis
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    Albatross, not fair! you made me laugh so hard that water came out my nose!

    As for FooB: if you look at the strip on the foob website, the prosecutor/exposition man/Canadian civil servant dweeb is blinking. Man, is that disturbing, if you’re not expecting it. And what are all these “unforseen delays” about? Maybe the want to see if readers will tolerate the Liz/Anthony pairing.

  6. Dingo
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    So, BC constantly confuses me. Is it set in a primordial time period or is it a present-day allegory for life under the Bush dictatorship? Why would a caveman know about Columbus?

    The look on Salami Mommy‘s face as she screams, “Elvis! No!” is priceless. One usually reserves that type of look for when one finds that the cat has had kittens on her Pretasi sheets or that the children have used your precious book for coloring. Granted, her eyes are aimed at Tommy Lee’s crotch and the hands to the face and Foobvillian mouth could lead one to believe that she’s recreating the visage of a starlet in the jungle room of another same-named musician as he whapped someone in the face. But that Elvis would’ve used a part of his body other than a Judy Garland bitchslappin’ hand. Elvis, no indeed.

  7. Frank Drackman
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    OK I figured out Aldo Kelrast was “a old stalker” rearranged..but whats in “Howard Bunt” I have nothing

  8. Hippocrass
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    So the plot finally thickens, Anthony engineered the little “rape” scene to bring Liz even further into his cluches.

    Soon, Anthony. Soon she shall be yours. And then you can throw out that security tape and finally BE Howard instead of just pretending.

  9. DrBear
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    Lynn will probably come up with some twist in the trial where Granthony and Liz have to be “sequestered” together, hee hee hee….

  10. BethThe#20Fan
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    What’s up with the dude’s index finger in the third panel? I have never seen a man’s finger as skinny like that. He looks like someone famous, but I just can’t place my finger on it. Ha…ha…ha.

  11. Frank Drackman
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    This could have been a decent B.C. strip if used today…with that stupid “You Know” dispenser thing…”You Know Why the Indians were first to America????????” “THEY HAD RESERVATIONS!!” Just as politically incorrect,,but at least a little funny

  12. Zorba the Geek
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    At last! The mystery of the gender of the androgynous “Niki” is solved! The caption clearly states Elvis hits him in the face.” But “Niki” is such a girly name. No wonder the kid has problems. Trampish, druggy, whore of a mom, and a girl’s name, to boot.

  13. gg
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    “Elvis.” Huh. I … I don’t think any of us were expecting that.

    Heh. I was.

  14. jenga!
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    He’s clearly “the King” of child abuse.

  15. Ralelen
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    B.C.-I thought he was going to celebrate Columbus day by killing and raping a few thousand natives.

    FOOB- Anthony, dude, get ride of that mustasch. A porn star you are not. Liz is now a hot piece of ass that has been around the block, you are a frumpy single father that has only had one lay in his life.

  16. fishbulb42
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    Well, the gender of Niki has finally been revealed though careful narration. (Or careless, if they were trying to keep us guessing.)

    Honestly, I was relieved to find out I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t figure it out.

  17. madpuppy
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    Has anyone figured out Niki’s gender yet? I’m still confused, and I think the strip’s writers are, too.

    Elvis and Vampira keep using the awkward “Kid” rather than son, daughter, boy, girl. Maybe this is leading up to some shocker- like Ol’ Niki’s a hermaphrodite, and Rex will have to perform gender re-assignment surgery in exchange for his wife’s not having to spend all day at the DMV.

  18. Marion Delgado
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Tommie’s Dream Date: You gotta admit the kid IS a goddamn disrespecting PUNK, though, right?

  19. madpuppy
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    Ouch! My email on Niki’s gender gets posted a little too late. Although I still think that by using the term “Kid”, Elvis and Vampira are still none too sure themselves.

  20. Kingkong
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Has he left the building?

  21. Proteus
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    Scotland-Salami tie-in ahoy in Rex Morgan. As you know, Elvis had deep Scottish roots. Proof from http://www.elvispresleynews.com/ScottishElvis.html

    “They say from small acorns grown great oak trees and so it was with the story about Elvis’s ancestry being traced to Lonmay, Scotland. What started out as a simple PR idea by the Aberdeen and Grampian Tourist Board became a worldwide story…such is the power of the name ‘Elvis Presley’.”

    Elvis lives! Yes, he’s a junky, but that may be what helped him shed all those pounds. Pity the white sequin suit doesn’t fit anymore. But if you think he’s pissed now, just wait till he hears about the wedding! We’ll all be shouting ELVIS NO!

  22. minnow
    October 9th, 2006 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    My how far our sports journalism has come since the days of BC! “Who cares that you just won the Super Bowl, coach–what are you getting your sweetie for Valentine’s Day?”

    However, our wireless microphone technology hasn’t advanced a bit, it appears.

  23. Austin
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Notice how the baseball coach said he was going to “buy” a relief pitcher … not “hire”. I think this is an implicit consent of the “good ole’ days” of slavery.

    Next time, try to be a little more subtle, B.C.

  24. Old Fogeyette
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    I love that he is named Elvis. I love that these guys are the most bottom-feeding trailer trash ever to appear in the comics. They make the Skankette who killed Troy look like Mary Poppins. You can’t tell me that the authors of this strip aren’t reading CC.

  25. JJ
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    I agree with Ralelen.
    Anthony might have hade more than one one, but Liz is at a great age, not too young, and has been around the block, and is still a hot piece of ass. She could be teaching Anthony a lot of things he could only imagine or know through movies. But in the end I just don’t see Liz and Anthony making their own home (porn) movies; Liz might want a family but she wants more than nthony’s “stability” and baggage, much of that baggage being he simply wants Liz. Not loves Liz, not want to “around the block” her forever as husband and wife, or as partners, but simply just is at a point he “want’s” Liz. No more, no less, no second thoughts about if she’d want to be going into a family with the baggage he carries.

  26. efab
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    Well, there is Niki (Nikki) Sixx of Motley Crue, and he is the picture of masculinity in the rock-hair tradition that this Niki seems to be participating in.

    Also, okay, so Aldo Kelrast = a old stalker. Couldn’t they have called him Aldon so at least the rearrangement would’ve been grammatically correct (an old…)?

  27. Anonymous
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

    #10: I vote for Paul Gleason, the late principal in The Breakfast Club.

  28. Splinky
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    Am I the only one who remembers and kind of misses the good old days when FBOFW was about the foibles of raising a family. We’d all chuckle as the kids went through the various ordeals of growing up and Mom and Dad tried to muddle their way through. Occasionally, the family dog would die. Now we’ve got rape trials and stroke patients. All we need is a good “my baby drowned in the bathtub” storyline, and the circle will be complete.

    And in today’s Rex Morgan, we learn that the years have not been kind to Motley Crue’s Nikki Sixx.

  29. Zorba the Geek
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    Elvis lives! Yes, he’s a junky, but that may be what helped him shed all those pounds.” Um, Proteus, Elvis (the original Elvis) was a junkie (prescription drugs, but still drugs), even when he was fat. His drug abuse apparently didn’t help him shed those extra pounds when he was still alive.

  30. Opus
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    Why is the unnamed FOOB official saying “the case pending against a Mr. Howard Bunt”? I think Liz knows his name, Mr. Court Person.

    Official: “…the case pending against a Mr. Howard Bunt.”
    Liz: “What?? Who??”

    Also, “delays for various reasons” X2 is either lazy writing or foreshadowing. Yeah. Me, too.

    #5: Yikes! Cree. Pee.

  31. Marion Delgado
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    Anthony came up with these:

    LIZZ PATTERSON=SIZZL’N’ RAPE TOT!
    HOWARD BLUNT=BAD HURT OWN

    Lizz came up with:
    ANTHONY CAINE=AN ANNOY ETHIC

  32. Marion Delgado
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    that should be howard bunt. for some reason i have “blunt” on the brain today.

  33. Freezer
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    #28 – No infantacide in the FOOBverse. Funky Winkerbean has the patent on that sort of WTF-ish plotline.

  34. JonO
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    #7 I found it. I went to the internet anagram server and entered Mr Howard Bunt. A couple screens down and I found

    Northward Bum

    Clearly a reference to a bum in a northerly direction, or someone from the true north brave and free. Or, the purest kind of canadian they could concoct who is also a bum. To wit, a mountie. A mountie in a disguise. Meaning? Liz’s would-be rapist is none other than the faraway mountie boyfriend…uh… in disguise. Yes. A NORTHWARD BUM, attempting to rape someone who is already his girlfriend.

    Those mysterious delays are the result of his PBA Rep working furiously to stall the trial while Anthony, using this attorney who is clearly his cousin, or Geraldo Rivera in a disguise of his own, secretly pulling strings deep within the equivalent of Canada’s IAB strives to get his romantic rival locked up.

    That or the delays are to allow the Johnston Plot Machine(tm) to repair itself after shifting gears so violently in this move to get us to swallow the convenience of this awful, protracted, and violent spasm of loose-ends-tying.

    Anagram server (link to howard bunt search)

    In fact, everyone should use it for all comics analysis all the time.

  35. Concerned Citizen
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    Hey, go easy on Anthony! Apparently Liz is either scratching her generous bottom below the frame or pulling her underwear out of her crack. Either way we’re just lucky Anthony is merely leering and not releasing little Anthony for a breath of fresh air.

  36. Marion Delgado
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    Freezer: Jeeze, like all of us haven’t accidentally cooked a child in the pizza oven at some point in our lives! Some of us like hard-hitting, contemporary comedy, thank you very much, and Funky Winkerbean more than fits the bill!

    I especially liked it when the vet swapped his one-armed wife for Les’s bald dying one at that keychain party.

  37. Doug Puthoff
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    # 6 (Dingo)–Let’s review: “B.C.” does not take place in the past but actually in a post-apocalyptic future. That’s why that strip has talking animals, humans living with dinosaurs, and modern pop-culture references.

  38. Marion Delgado
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    But what if the real meaning is “Draw bum north?” And if so, who was drawn north by that, but Lizz? Or does this mean Anthony was tempted to go north after her?

  39. UncleJeff
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    Did anyone notice the weekend “Wizard of Id” joke about the hanging scaffold with the “politically correct” ramp for the handicapped? Has anyone made more oh-so-funny jokes about capital punishment than the bizarre Johnny Hart?

  40. Marion Delgado
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    Doug: BC-post-Apocalyptic Future

    Wizard of Id: Rennaissance Faire, starting in the Seventies

    Suddenly the comics make sense!

  41. Fred P.
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    In FOOB Panel II, “There may be delays for various reasons”, whereas by the time we get to Panel IV, we have moved on to “There has been a delay for various reasons”. Proof that with FBOFW, in stark contrast to the world of Judge Parker, something occasionally does happen, even if it is only a delay (for various reasons).

  42. MossMoses
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    35: Does “Little Granthony” have a cheezy pubic moustache like Big Anthony has on his face?

  43. picnics
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    #4: Dominca is not the Dominican Republic, and is not near Haiti. Please inform yourself before going off on crazy rants, kthxbye.

    As for the BC — I think it’s nothing more than “Hm.. Columbus is associated with Haiti, so are baseball players… combining them == comedy gold!”

  44. MossMoses
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

    Maybe the point of today’s foob is that Granthony and Lizardbreath are now committed to staying near each other through all the delays for various reasons…Be still my dry heaving brain stem! (Both nausea and vomiting result from stimulation of the vomiting centre located in the brain stem).

  45. Marion Delgado
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    sorry, i did mean the dominican republic

  46. Marion Delgado
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    Columbus, though, is an old obsession of Johnny Hart’s and he’s reinterpreted his story in the weirdest way in the past, devoting months of the strip to a BC version of Columbus’ voyage and integrating it with his evangelical take. And his war on “political correctness” is too long a list to go into here – an old Funny Paper is very apt:

    “B.C.: Broken-English-speaking prehistoric Injun stereotype Conahonty declares that “Conahonty honored!” to have sports teams named after his ancestors. “Conahonty’s ancestors all red-skinned braves from Cleveland.” Yeah! Put that in your peace pipe and smoke it, Chief Can’t-Take-a-Racist-Joke! How!”

    http://www.citypaper.com/comics/story.asp?id=5277

    it may be that in the post-radiation BC world only Haiti has people healthy enough to play baseball, ironically enough.

  47. Kirbyoto
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    I think that she’s not so much concerned about her kid as she is just having a flashback and she remembered when Elvis died.

  48. Josh
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    picnics-

    While Marion did make the dreaded Dominica/Dominican Republic mixup, the ethnic adjective “Dominicans” describes people (including the many, many professional baseball players) from the Dominican Republic, not Dominica. (No, I don’t know what people from Dominica are called).

    As near as I know, there aren’t any Haitian baseball players in the US major leagues; certainly not as many as there are Dominicans. It would have actually kind of made sense to use the Dominican Rep. in this joke instead of Haiti; plus, I’m pretty sure that most of the area on the island that Columbus explored/”settled”/conquered/enslaved were in the modern-day DR, not Haiti. The only reason I can see for using Haiti would be as a straight-up slavery joke, as Haiti was founded by slaves who overthrew their masters.

  49. hogenmogen
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    #30 – Opus, “for various reasons” x2 isn’t lazy writing. Worse, that’s supposed to be the JOKE. So, if Foob had a “teaser” narrative like the action strips it would say “Tomorrow: MORE WAITING!”

    As bad as Foobville is, at least it moves in real time. I’ve been reading Spiderman for six months and it has only moved about six days. Sex Organ, MD has moved only half as much. Spiderman and Rex have both put away the same number of criminals in that stretch of time, too. On timing issues, JP is by far the winner. I was looking back into Judge Parker, and six months ago, it was still the same day that Abbey discovered her inventory issues and that her daugter hired an Indian for her schoolwork. So what’s that, 24 hours ago? In six months?

  50. Matt Brubeck
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: Different coloring staff for the weekday strips, or parallel universe?

  51. Joel
    October 9th, 2006 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    So Rex Morgan, just did the same scene twice in a row, added nothing further to move the narrative forward the second time, yet slightly varied the sequence of events and dialogue.

    I mean, clearly, these two scenes are supposed to represent the same exact event– The first time Elvis says that “Nobody disrespects him” calls the kid a punk, and slaps him for holding out. The second time, Elvis demands the money, hits the kid, and then, in response to the question of the mother (?), says that the kid is a disrespecting punk.

    There are three possible explanations :

    1) Rex Morgan has decended into a commentary on the radical subjectivity of human memory and experience, particularly in times of trauma

    2) Wilson is too drunk and lazy to re-read his last strip and is thereby unable to undertake the
    Monday exposition in a way that does not conflict with the events depcited Sunday, or

    3) Rex Morgan is gay.

    Explanation one is the most interesting, two the most plausible, and three, while a matter of virtual certainty, lacks substantial explanatory value.

  52. hogenmogen
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    Look at the lightning on Niki’s back. Maybe he’s really Captain Marvel. Shazam!

  53. SmartPeopleOnIce
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    #18 (MD) You gotta admit the kid IS a goddamn disrespecting PUNK, though, right?

    I think the preferred term is “new romantic”. Then again, he might be an emo. A goddamn disrespecting emo. The worst kind.

  54. hogenmogen
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    MT: Where are Kelly Welly and Ranger Rick during all of this? Doing the jobs they are paid to do? Kelly, having teamed up with Rick has caught the bear poachers, ripped out a 2000 word composition that is wowing her boss Bill Ellis in NYC, and is now enjoying a fine dinner with her prey… uh… her new boyfriend Rick. Meanwhile, Bill is trying to contact Mark Trail and can only leave voice mail. “I hear you were out walking your dog and a trained bear, Mark. Do not expect a check this month.”

  55. Dan Coyle
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    I can’t stand it anymore- Anthony is drawn like he’s twice Liz’s age! It seriously weirds me out!

    Sigh… I remember when this strip was something people cared about. Now FBOFW is just a pale shadow of its former self, enlivened only by Josh’s Commentary.

    Niki’s mom is hot. So’s Abbey Parker. Soap Strips have a high quantity of MILF.

  56. Pendragon
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    A co-worker of mine postulated that B.C. actually is Johnny Hart’s slam on his present-day troglodyte neighbors residing in Broome County in upstate New York. There is some reason to believe this is true considering they use Thor in a logo for Broome County Transit. This could explain some of the contemporary references. But I wouldn’t want to ride a bus that had stone wheels.

    Considering the usual content of the strip, I doubt it is meant to take place either post-apocalypse or post-Rapture.

  57. Derelict
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    BC–What if “relief pitcher” actually has nothing to do with baseball and instead refers to the kind of personal bedside urinal that you get in the hospital?

    Maybe he’s planning on buyng one of those decorated in merry natiive motifs. Makes as much sense as the ostensible “punchline,” and given Hart’s age, would seem to be much more tru to life.

  58. Marion Delgado
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    UncleJeff:

    If I’m right, at least Brant Parker and Johnny Hart aren’t having their characters “really” hanged. If it’s just part of the Faire, then that would explain why it’s usually the same person being hanged each time. The only other possibility would be that Id is infected with Criminal Sextuplets. Or immortal villains.

    In other words, everyone involved from the WC Fields lawyer to SCA King Id to the “prisoner” is having a good time here.

  59. kippetje2000
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    or perhaps Nikki’s mother is calling the god of rock ‘n roll down upon our evil villain? Elvis and Evils both spelled with the same letters.

  60. yellojkt
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    Taking bets:

    Will Howard get sent to the slammer before or after Chin-Nuts Gramps kicks the bucket?

  61. Scott
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    I altered today’s Mary Worth to better illustrate how this agony should finally come to a close:
    http://img107.imageshack.us/img107/7168/maryworthlr1.jpg

  62. Allie Cat
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    #60 – If Gramps kicks it during the trial, then at least Liz won’t have to worry about getting off work twice – and I’m sure she’ll be view sympathetically by the jury if that happens.

    Here’s the real question – how long will it take Paul to start playing grabass with his old pal Susan, the new school marm up in Mtig?

  63. ISBN
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:42 pm [Reply]

    A-HA! At last, the contraversial mystery is solved! Elvis IS alive! He’s just been masquerading as Iggy Pop all this time! Who knew?! Thank GOD for Rex Morgan. Thank GOD!

  64. Rudy the Ape
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    Sunday’s RMMD, panel 3 is most interesting. Rex’s Wife and Nanny have mastered the art of hiding their drinks from Rex, only to have them re-emerge after he presumably stops paying attention to them.

    Monday’s RMMD is equally interesting, though the credit likely goes to the inker in changing Niki’s blonde Mama to a rat-fur brown variety limey.

    Well, off to meet Bonita at the Brown Derby,

    Rudy

  65. Jocko
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    Howard Bunt = HAND RUB TWO

  66. Martin
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    I’d also like to thank the creators of Rex Morgan, MD for their homage to Daryl Hannah’s character in Blade Runner.

    The big question is whether or not Rex is a replicant.

  67. ISBN
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    Also? Today’s MW? Is it wrong if my gut reaction to her quest for closure was “HAHA! You DON’T!! That’ll LEARN YA!” Even worse was the instant playing out of future scenes in which Mary spends the rest of her (albiet short, one would think) life sitting alone at her kitchen table, listening to the clock tick, not noticing as day turns to night, and night to day, feeling heavy and almost breathless with sorrow and no relief in sight….

    well, you get it. Tell me, it’s not so wrong to have felt glee, is it? IS IT?

  68. Jocko
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    MT

    What kind of hospital lets a bear into intensive care?

  69. Bill Peschel
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    #51: Joel, I hate to sound like the voice of reason, but some newspapers are too cheap to buy the Sunday strip, but just the M-Sat. strips. This means that the artist has to advance the plot on Sunday, then recap on Monday. Hence, the doubled strips.

  70. Tom Cruise
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    For God’s sake! The line is “Show me the money!” SHOW ME the money! Has this guy even SEEN “Jerry Maguire”?

  71. Claude
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    Mom and Niki were both blondes last week. I guess it’s good to see that she’s not wasting the money they beat out of him on, say, food or rent.

    WHAP! “Gimme yer money! I’m not buying Walgreen’s haircolor! I’m getting the L’Oreal ’cause I’m worth it!”

  72. Ben
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    “Mary and the others make the long drive to Aldo’s service”

    Aw, dammit. Three weeks of Mary staring out the window pondering her role in killing Aldo.

  73. Cornwhacker
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    I was looking back into Judge Parker, and six months ago, it was still the same day that Abbey discovered her inventory issues and that her daugter hired an Indian for her schoolwork. So what’s that, 24 hours ago? In six months?

    The previous thread got me thinking about this, too. Josh linked to this June 11 entry: http://joshreads.com/?p=639. First appearance of Raju. Sam’s just come home from work, same as he’s doing in today’s strip. So it’s been 24 hours in about 4 months. Not much of an improvement over 6, but still.

  74. MossMoses
    October 9th, 2006 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Lost Forest General has lenient policies toward animal visits since it is located in a privately owned (by Doctor Davis) wildlife reserve. Many other hospitals don’t allow bears and might be hostile toward the bear if one were brought it in. The bear might not really understand the hostility towards it if it were a pet bear in unfamiliar settings, though.

  75. Albatross
    October 9th, 2006 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    #61 Scott: Great minds think alike…. #72 Ben: Not in our world!

  76. SmartPeopleOnIce
    October 9th, 2006 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Apologies if this has already been pointed out, but it’s just Muoy Appropos!

    Life imitates art. Or Mark Trail, as it were.

  77. Raznor
    October 9th, 2006 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    BC is means “before Christ” yet the characters of BC often speak of Christ in past tense! That should tell you everything you need to know about how much sense the strip makes.

    And buying a relief pitcher from Haiti? They play soccer in Haiti. All the baseball players come from Dominican Republic. Anyone who’s watched one major league broadcast knows this. So even allowing that the joke in BC is lame, and makes no sense for cavemen to talk about, it wouldn’t even make sense if these people were contemporary.

  78. blase
    October 9th, 2006 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

    “I’d also like to thank the creators of Rex Morgan, MD for their homage to Daryl Hannah’s character in Blade Runner.”

    I thought I’d seen that character “type” before — thanks.

    “The big question is whether or not Rex is a replicant.”

    C’mon — everyone knows the answer to that question. :-) …He’s one of the “Good Guys with 1950s-era hairstyles” models that all the other soap opera-type strips employ.

  79. leathermessiah
    October 9th, 2006 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Two things about today’s RMMD:
    1) The fact that the greasy-haired rocker is named “Elvis” just substantiates what we’ve really known all along: that the authors of the soap strips haven’t been outside since the 1950′s.

    2) I’m pretty sure the strip writers haven’t picked a gender for little Nikki either, hence the androgynous name and the reference to she/he/it as “my kid” rather than “my son/daughter/genderless alien spawn”.

  80. Stu
    October 9th, 2006 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps FOOB is entering a tangential storyline involving a discussion of section 11(b) of the Canadian Charter of Rights, which grants criminally accused the right to be tried within a reasonable time. I look forward to Anthony’s dissertation on the landmark Supreme Court case on this topic, Regina v. Askov. And I look forward to his moustache being temporarily converted to a landing pad.

  81. Harry Paratestes
    October 9th, 2006 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    BC: wow, too bad there’s not a third panel in BC so that Johnny Hart could make a ‘Little Black Sambo’ punchline.

  82. benro
    October 9th, 2006 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

    #76 – That is freekin’ hilarious. The poor guy was just looking for his owner. He couldn’t understand the hostility of the police sharpshooters.

  83. d. sloane
    October 9th, 2006 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    In the end, the problem with BC is that I can’t name a single major league baseball player from Haiti.

    And according to baseball-reference.com, I’m not forgetting anybody.

  84. Steve S
    October 9th, 2006 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    You know how I initially found Comics Curmudgeon? I Googled “for better or for worse lynn johnston sucks” in an attempt to find kindred haters. I stand by my search.

  85. BewaretheCreeper
    October 9th, 2006 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

    Mallard Fillmore: Made me bust out gut laughing today.

    FOBOW on the great white north judicial system, guess it’s time for a red or white whine?!?

    TDIET I have a GREAT barber but I have to confess I’m almost totally bald so………

    Did anyone catch Beetle Bailey a couple of days ago?!? I wish we could post THAT one in North Korea, Iraq, Iran, Darfur, Nigeria, Chenya and anywhere there is military angst. It would END wars forever. LOL

  86. gnome de blog
    October 9th, 2006 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    Baseballs used to be manufactured in Haiti. After the fall of Papa Doc Duvalier, production was moved to Costa Rica.

    I haven’t the slightest idea what that has to do with relief pitchers. It’s either, as suggested above, a deliberately racist joke or it’s ignorance. Or both.

  87. Red Greenback
    October 9th, 2006 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    84 BtC- Do you get the same Mallard that I do? I had to to look at it again thinking I may have missed something. Nope, still sucks ‘nads.

  88. Facebones
    October 9th, 2006 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    Ya know, FooB Anthony does look a lot like the love child Aldo left behind. He’s got the ‘stache, he’s got the stalker act, he’s got the weasely attitude…

    Maybe Aldo was on the run from child support payments in Canada and wound up on Mary Worth’s block. And maybe the first thing he said when he saw her was “Hey, mature tail! No chance for any more whiny little ‘mistakes.’”

  89. Foolster41
    October 9th, 2006 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    Albatros: Yes! That’s how it should all end! I’m kind of looking foreword to this funeral though actually. This has definite comedy potental. I can just imagine Mary platituding the embaressed releitives and friends (if he had any). “Well, it was all his fault. It’s not my fault he was a boozer.”. Maybe the people will all bludgen Mary t0 death.

    SmartPeopleonIce: Acording to that article Bears like to beg at roadside aparently.. (I’m surprised noone has said that yet.)

    Columbus did some bad stuff, and yes he claimed to be Christian (No one can really say if he was), though the bad stuff he did is not representitive of Christ’s teaching or all Christians. There’s been a rash of anti-Christianity lately here and elsewhere and I just thought it should be said. And I still really didn’t get this BC (Well, I guess that’s not much of a change)

  90. IanB
    October 9th, 2006 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    “Buying a player” in baseball terms is actually talking about how contracts get moved around, so that part at least isn’t an *overt* slavery reference.

    I still question where the heck he came up with Haiti, and the wisdom of running that joke on Columbus Day, of all possible days.

  91. Just Plain Bob
    October 9th, 2006 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    Too much deconstruction – got headache; Derrida will never be dead as long as this site exists. What would really be interesting would be for Derrida (ok ghost of Derrida) to appear in Mary Worth giving all English majors something really meaty.

    #28 “baby in bathtub”? maybe “dingo ate my baby”

    #30 you are probably subconsciously thinking of Anthony Blunt

  92. Ballard Fremont Edmonds
    October 9th, 2006 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    B.C.: Well, the “Reserve Clause” in baseball has only been gone for about 35 years, so Johnny Hart might not realize that teams don’t “own” players anymore. Not to mention that by Columbus Day it’s too late to add a player who would be eligible for post-season play (August 31 deadline). Why does Johnny Hart hate baseball?

  93. Baron Von Foobenstein
    October 9th, 2006 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    BC: I doubt the late Johnny pHart has ever seen a baseball game or been to a ballpark. He draws a dugout to look like 5 foot deept trench wide and long enough for 5 guys to stand single file in it. And it never appears to be anywhere NEAR a ball field.

    Haitian ballplayers? I think there are more Ethiopian players in pro ball. Hart’s an effin’ moron.

    FooB: Surprise plot twist: Blandthony and LizardBreasts were brought in to testify at the trial of “a Howard Bunt.” When the trial begins, they realize they haven’t a clue who the defendant is — The guy who went after Saint Liz was Howard ERK. Right? RIGHT?? “Blimey! Who the bloody ‘ell is THIS chap??” exclaims Wimpthony.

    Lynn’s been hitting the Molson a bit hard lately. Can’t remember the names of her cardboard cutout characters. Feh.

  94. Von Zeppelin
    October 9th, 2006 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    JP 10/9–After eight glasses of muscatel, Abbey finds it overwhelmingly sexy that Sam has painted the right side of his nose black. The loosened tie gets her motor running, too.

    This is Sam, right? Not the other gay politician guy who looks just like him except for the tie?

  95. Tommie’s Dream ”Date”
    October 9th, 2006 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    Johnny Hart is truly the Andy Kaufman of cartoon art: “Though many refer to him as a comedian, Kaufman did not self-identify as one. He disdained telling jokes and engaging in comedy as it was traditionally understood. He was one of the most famous practitioners of anti-humor or dada absurdism.” (Wikipedia)

  96. dramashoes
    October 9th, 2006 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    As atrocious as fbofw might be, at least most of the daily strips have some kind of, oh, I don’t know, resolution.In this one, it’s just the guy behind the desk saying he doesn’t know. I mean, I would have been happy with Anthony breaking the fourth wall by thinking, “Usually, when someone says they don’t know, it’s because they’re hiding something!” And in Rex Morgan, maybe Elvis can finally admit his homosexuality and break down crying in the arms of Nurturing Rex.

  97. Heckler123
    October 9th, 2006 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    I have a question concerning FBoFW. Although I’ve read the comic a great deal over the years, I did not read it at the time they had this whole ordeal with Howard Bunt, Lizard Breath, and Blanthony. Could somebody give me a brief synopsis?

  98. Josh
    October 9th, 2006 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    Heckler123-

    Basically, Liz was home for the summer and working for Lawrence’s landscaping business; Howard was one of the other employees who kept making increasingly ham-handed and icky passes at her. Eventually while the two of them were alone together, Howard tried to assault her, but Granthony, who was coming over with his own considerablly more passive-agressive designs on Liz, intervened and felled the knave by (I’m not making this up) twisting his ear until he begged for mercy and ran off. Then mere moments later, Anthony poured out all his inner pain about his own dying marriage, loudly declaring that “I HAVE NO HOME!” and begging Liz to “wait” for him.

    There was never any mention of Liz pressing charges against Howard or anything, though it’s clear now that she must have. And a reminder to Baron Von and others: folks here dubbed Howard “Howard Erk” because “erk” was one of the noises he made when he was on the receiving end of the beating from Anthony. His actual last name has only been revealed in the course of these quasilegal shenanigans.

    Josh

  99. Heckler123
    October 9th, 2006 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    Thanks, Josh. There’s nothing quite so manly as a guy who decides to pour out his inner pain instead of comforting a woman who has just been sexually assaulted. I wonder how Elizabeth was able to resist his macho charm?

  100. Bill Peschel
    October 9th, 2006 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    If you want to read the strips in question, this will put you in the middle of it.

  101. Bill Peschel
    October 9th, 2006 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    Hate to butt in again, but while tracing the Foobs, I googled “Howard Erk” and found this great Josh post: If only the nose-picking had been in Mary Worth.

    And, really, deep in our hearts, don’t we all wish that for Christmas?

  102. Faye
    October 9th, 2006 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    You know what I just realized?

    I’ll never again see the phrase, “without further ado” and not think, “without further Aldo.”

    And then my heart will break just a little more, every single time.

  103. Poteet
    October 9th, 2006 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    #98 & 99 — Great summary, Josh. Thanks for bringing it all back. Yes, I still remember Anthony’s disembodied arm coming out of nowhere to throttle Howard, while readers like me wondered whose arm it was and what the hell was going on.

    And Heckler, I still wonder why Howard “Erk” Bunt was left free to roam the streets for weeks and weeks, while, according to an earlier strip, Canada’s finest waited around watching for him to commit more offenses and for other female victims to come forward. But Lynn is in charge, and this is part of her Grand Design.

    I personally hope that Paul and Susan, a.k.a. Chipper and Suds, are celebrating autumn in the North Country by boinking up a storm. But knowing Lynn, she’s probably forcing them to wait until she’s good and ready to push the plot along.

  104. Gracie287
    October 9th, 2006 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    I just wish Lynn Johnston read this or any of the other comic blogs and realized how much FOOB readers hate the Granthony/Liz pairing. Then again, she probably has and just figures “I know better than those silly readers”.

  105. Dingo
    October 9th, 2006 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    #91 Just Plain Bob: It’s got, got, got, got, got. A dingo got my baby. Just because an American sitcom decided to use the word “ate” in an episode doesn’t mean that it’s changed.

    GOT

  106. phil
    October 9th, 2006 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    Finally, the Rex Morgan “skank” returns to the story line – alas – too late – I’m off to Aldo’s funeral.

  107. reader-who-posts
    October 9th, 2006 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    I think the lawyer is Basil Exposition’s canadian cousin Dudley Exposition.

  108. Tyler
    October 9th, 2006 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

    I strongly suspect that Lynn is building towards a joke based on the leading Canadian case on the right to be tried within a reasonable time, R. v. Askov.

    Ironically, the buildup to the joke will take too long and noone will care.

  109. Summerhouse
    October 9th, 2006 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    #68 – Molly is an emotional-assistance bear, and therefore welcome in the ICU. How do I know? I just know. Shut up.

  110. Summerhouse
    October 9th, 2006 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

    I think the seating pattern in the car on the way to Aldo’s funeral is totally unrealistic. Everybody knows Chinbeard and Combover would be sitting together in front, with Toby and Mary sitting together in the back, complimenting each other on their splendid sense of color.

  111. Baron Von Foobenstein
    October 10th, 2006 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    Josh,

    BOY, IS MY FACE RED. I could have sworn that he was called Howard Erk in the comic. Buuuut, sure enough, his last name wasn’t mentioned until he was busted.

    But “Erk” does kinda sound like an Eskimo surname, so it seemed plausible.

    Twisting an ear to subdue an opponent?? Is that a move Blandthony learned while earning his black belt in Wimp-Fu? Did they also teach him to WHINE his opponents into submission? Why, oh WHY did you make me look at those vintage FooB strips again?? I could have gone my entire life without seeing Whaaaaaaaanthony sob, “I HAVE NO HOME!” My estrogen level just went through the roof when I saw that strip.

    I better go watch NASCAR for a few hours…. Try to recover… I hope….

  112. BethThe#20Fan
    October 10th, 2006 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    #111, speaking of Nascar, race fans just had their own Aldo moment with Brian Vickers wrecking Jesus the Second, Dale Earnhardt Jr.

  113. Heckler123
    October 10th, 2006 at 12:19 am [Reply]

    Thanks to all for filling me in on the heart-warming saga of Canadian molesters running merrily through the streets, while Lynn Johnston looks down from on high and waits for her sacrifice of blood.

  114. Dub Not Dubya
    October 10th, 2006 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    111 Baron: sorry you were so traumatized by reading those old Foob strips. Maybe this re-working of some of those (and others) will help:

    http://members.cox.net/blogpicsaddy/pinhead.html

  115. Lurky McLurker
    October 10th, 2006 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    I admit I haven’t followed Judge Parker very closely, so I checked out #73′s link and was a bit shocked at how drastically different everyone appears, Raju’s head is near proportionate & the redhead’s hairdo seems like something that was almost in style in the last 10 years…I also like how whenever a comic character has a hairstyle change the writers have to take a week or so to explain it, “LuAnn,” “JumpStart” (at least 3 different times) and even the normally one…er… joke a day “Family Circus.” Of course if a reader missed out on that week, being the retard that the writer assumes all readers are, he or she will be confused and wind up reading the editorial section instead…aye

  116. Von Zeppelin
    October 10th, 2006 at 5:19 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth 10/10–That’s right, Prof. Yeah, that’s the ticket. That’s your story, and all of you are stickin’ to it. If asked, take the Fifth. Well, no, don’t take the fifth. That’s what got Aldo where he is today.

    Just tell them you never met the guy, you just like to go to funerals to show off your wife’s spiffy cornflower blue pants suit with the short sleeves. She apparently changed in the car, because on Sunday she was wearing a long-sleeved one in the color of salmon that has been lying in the fishmarket display case for three days without ice.

  117. ben
    October 10th, 2006 at 5:47 am [Reply]

    #111: it’s MgitErkAwni.

  118. Concerned Citizen
    October 10th, 2006 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    Today’s MW has the Charterstone Intervenere/Meddlers Club beaming away at Aldo’s funeral with Dr. Chinbeard insisting that he’s not qualified to speak on Aldo’s behalf, even though he was not at a loss of words when it came to sending Aldo out into the mean streets. Throw an Oh Yeah! into it and we’ve got another TDIET bon mot.

  119. LaughingOnTheInside
    October 10th, 2006 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Wilbur says he doesn’t know what to say. Well there’s a news flash from the man that never speaks! I was beginning to think he’d been struck dumb by Aldo’s death.

  120. Bill James
    October 10th, 2006 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    What’s with all the squirrels lately?

    Sunday’s Dilbert: “Sometimes you milk the squirrel, sometimes the squirrel milks you.”

    Today’s Curtis.

    Today’s Mark Trail (and it’s a giant squirrel, too).

    And there was another one, but I forget where.

  121. ragthetiger
    October 10th, 2006 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    MW – it’s not only Toby who’s changed. Mary’s jacket has gotten darker, her top is totally different, and her purse is a different color. Chinbeard’s jacket has gone from a pale gray to charcoal. Do you think they read our posts on the way to the service and made an emergency stop at a big box mall to run into a WalMart? Mary and Ian at least went in the right direction but Toby’s outfit, if anything, looks even less appropriate.

  122. Summerhouse
    October 10th, 2006 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    10/10/06 – Good God in heaven, Garfield made me laugh. I am home sick and on some pretty heavy cold medicine, but still. Garfield. Made me laugh.

  123. Frank Drackman
    October 10th, 2006 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    Isn’t getting beat up by Granthony punishment and humiliation enough for a little low grade sexual harassment? You know after that experience Howard will never have sex with any woman, come to think of it, the normal response would be to turn into a serial killer or unibomber type, so maybe long term incarceration is for the best.

  124. green_bald
    October 10th, 2006 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    Hey everybody! My comic hero Dustin made some daily-comic spoofery. Enjoy.

    http://dustinland.com/dland.html

  125. Splinky
    October 10th, 2006 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    #91 – I would love to see some FOOB baby-eating dingo action. My only worry is that then we’d be subjected to six weeks of strips dealing with Canadian animal control laws!

  126. David V. Matthews
    October 10th, 2006 at 9:31 am [Reply]

  127. 2fs
    October 10th, 2006 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    #114: Apparently, Zippy works just as well if not better with almost any dialog.

  128. BethThe#20Fan
    October 10th, 2006 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    So in today’s Foob comic, Liz is more worried about how she looks than, you know, reliving that silly assault attempt. I’ve never been in this situation and I hope I’m never but if I was testifying against a guy who tried to rape me, I’d be more worried about remembering specific details than how I looked. I get the feeling, though, this whole trial to her is burdensome and a waste of time.

  129. Zack
    October 10th, 2006 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    Is it just me, or does this “For Better or Worse” strip violate every basic story-telling and comic strip writing rule there is? It’s unfunny, which is something one comes to expect from FBoW, but there’s no sense of closure, drama or even an emotional sting- it simply exists to provide exposition so basic a simple line of dialogue could’ve covered.

    Example:

    Anthony: I’m sorry you have to stay in town in order to testify against your assailant, Liz.

    Liz: That’s all right- although the delay is frustrating.

    Anthony: Awww. Hey, I know what will cheer you up!

    Liz: Another attempted sexual assault?

    Anthony: Moustache rides!

    Liz: Yay!

    Anthony: That’s what I love about Canada, everybody wins.

  130. Dingo
    October 10th, 2006 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    Hmm… maybe our host has something to do with Foobvilia. His name can be used to make “A flesh hug in juror.” That’s right, Grandpanthony! Liz’ will give you flesh hugs for helping coach her testimony!

  131. Crankenstank
    October 10th, 2006 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    BC’s weak hold on geography: the good baseball players come from the Dominican Republic side of Hispaniola….they don’t really play baseball in Haiti.

    To review: one island, Hispaniola, two countries, Haiti (francophone, not baseball-playing) and the Dominican Republican (Spanish-speaking, baseball-playing).

    Maybe Wiley is making a comment on Columbus ending up going to the wrong place but still thinking he was in the Spice Islands just this side of India…?

  132. Gershwin
    October 10th, 2006 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Love the Nietzsche Family Circus Generator.

    I really, really, hate the word “closure.” That is all.

  133. tefflan
    October 10th, 2006 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: The bald guy is the President of the Canadian Hair Club for Men. Oh, for Christ’s sake, is there anything more boring than FBOFW?

    MW: Now, at graveside, they are all at a total lack for words. They sure weren’t lacking the ability to speak on the day they killed Aldo.

  134. JB2
    October 10th, 2006 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    Re: Foob

    The prosecutor’s reference to “a Mr. Howard Bunt” is probably just a dumb person’s attempt to sound “legal.”
    This means that either Lynn is an idiot, or more interestingly, the prosecutor is an idiot.

    Let’s hope Howard beats the rap and continues to terrorize Pattersonville.

  135. pretend2benormal
    October 10th, 2006 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    DTM, 10/08/06 – Gosh, I wish MY dog could spell Vetrinawhatever.

  136. bubujin
    October 10th, 2006 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    Re BC: C’mon Curmudgeonites, you KNOW Wiley’s baseball team always loses. So with likely no budget he secures this dirt-cheap pitcher from Haiti. Which is so well known for its baseball talent. So his team can continue to suck.

    Isn’t that how YOU would celebrate Columbus Day?

  137. Poteet
    October 10th, 2006 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    #111 — Don’t worry, Baron. Howard will always be “Erk” to some of us. And your name for The Pornstache is excellent.

  138. Christopher
    October 10th, 2006 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    Huh, Mallard Fillmore’s not been particularly horrible lately.

    I mean, yes, this latest one is completely lacking in insight or, really, anything interesting, but it doesn’t have any badly listed sources, and I do enjoy a good terrorist-bashing.

    I also enjoy commas, apparently.

    I keep looking at that BC, and the only way I can read it is “I’m going to celebrate columbus day by engaging in the reprehensible behavior that he himself engaged in upon arriving at the Americas”.

    The thing is, that’s an awfully stinging indictment of Columbus Day to come from a conservative old fogey like Mr. Hart.

    As usual, BC is baffling.

  139. LB
    October 10th, 2006 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Why is the lawyer in Foob wearing a doctor’s coat and clown pants? Notice the lack of paperwork or documents on his immaculately neat, unlawyer-like desk and the absence of any qualification hanging on his walls. Liz’s file is only two papers long. I doubt he really gives a crap about this case.
    Or, he’s not a real lawyer.
    The books in his bookcase resemble the Crayola crayons like Mary Worth’s, just as a commentor pointed out.

  140. LB
    October 10th, 2006 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Why did nobody notice the fern growing out of Liz’s head???

  141. fishmorgjp
    October 10th, 2006 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    The problem with B.C. isn’t the anachronisms — they’ve always been part of the strip, even back when it was genuinely funny. (If you chance across any B.C. paperback collections from the early 70s, see for yourself.) It is a great pity that Hart went prematurely senile back in the 1980s.

  142. Joel
    October 10th, 2006 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Bill Peschel

    Double strips I can understand. But these are not double, this is the same event, differently sequenced. Doesnt this seem weird to you?

  143. SmartPeopleOnIce
    October 10th, 2006 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    #66 (Martin) The big question is whether or not Rex is a replicant.

    That depends on whether we’re seeing RMMD or RMMD, The Director’s Cut.

    Given the amount of pointless exposition in the strip, I’m guessing it’s the former.

  144. Mibbitmaker
    October 10th, 2006 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Salami Mommy, in a missing panel: “Elvis, I mean it! If you hit my…boy… one more time, it’s 1977 all over again, you got me?!”

    FOOB: VainFoob says to Blanthony, “How do I look?”? You really want to ask that of the guy who wants bad in the suitor pool? Inappropriately vain and counterproductively stupid. Sainthood has lowered its standards, big time.

    SM: The LAPD’s incapable to stop crime (even dopey crime)??? ……Yeah, that sounds about right.

    FC: “Oh, that poor Kim Jong Il! It really hurt us when we lost a tiny bit of the western half of the US to radiation.”

    (DT)GT: “Sean tried to be the U.N.”?? Well, if Sean Pettibone can handle N. Korea better than Cofi Annan, who am I to quibble?

    A3G: What happened to generic blandsome man-in-”A3G” – uh, I mean, Alan? Did he join Dr. Jeff in Far-East-of-Mary-Worth or something?

    SF: Ralph’s assistant is Jim Halpert, and he was transfered to the Stamford branch. Right, Ralph?

    MW: Those nutty religious extremists that stalk funerals, shouting looney slogans cruelly at mourners? Even THEY’re more appropriate at Aldo’s funeral than the Charterstone DeathMeddlers. By the juxtroposition alone, Mare & company should just evaporate on the spot!

  145. Hannibal Smitty
    October 10th, 2006 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    I just found out that I’ll Do It Everytime.

    However, I fail to see why ordering a hamburger at a sit-down restarant is a joke. I honestly like hamburgers at sit-down restaurants. Does that make me a Plugger?

  146. FiestaGrl
    October 10th, 2006 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Hey, #84′s post about how he found Comics Curmudgeon made me laugh. I found CC the same way–sort of. Over a year ago, in the midst of the Howard Erk stalker saga, I googled in search of a site where other FBOFW-lovers discussed the strip, which I loved at the time. Instead…I ended up here and after being exposed to daily doses of Curmudgeonry, I now loathe the strip along with the rest of you.

    I sometimes wonder if I’d be happier if I’d maintained my comics innocence. I’d certainly have a lot more time in my day, without having to read all these posts and the additional 20 or so strips I now can’t live without. I don’t know if I should thank you or hate you.

  147. Ellie M.
    October 10th, 2006 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

    # 140: “Why did nobody notice the fern growing out of Liz’s head???”

    Granthony noticed it. See the way he’s looking down at it — and the expression on his face? Clearly, he’s thinking: “Should I tell her about the fern growing out of her head??”

  148. Cole Moore Odell
    October 10th, 2006 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    “OK I figured out Aldo Kelrast was “a old stalker” rearranged”

    No, it’s an anagram for “load stalker”. Look who he was going after.

    It’s tragic, really; because Aldo was “dark ale lost,” we will have no more “tales la dork”. His fatal error? Thinking “a star old elk” like Mary would “take all rods”. Dead wrong.

  149. David C
    October 10th, 2006 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    145 – I think the joke is more based on ordering a burger in a *fancy* restaurant. Perhaps. Though the staging of the gag is really awkward for that interpretation – what truly fancy restaurant has bottles of ketchup on the table?

    Actually, I think the joke might be more like “The poor waitress has to rattle off all those specials, and this joker’s just ordering a burger.” Or something. Reconstructing failed comic panels is tough – there’s gotta be a “joke attempt” there somewhere, but what is it?

    Remembering that strips like B.C. used to be funny and even genuinely cutting-edge stuff in their heyday is a little troubling. I keep wondering if in the year 2030, it’ll be cranks like us keeping tired old Get Fuzzy in the papers even though it hasn’t been funny since 2013 and all it is now is tired old jokes about rugby – and outdated rugby jokes at that, as Conley apparently doesn’t realize Canada, Haiti and the Persian Republic have dominated the sport for over a decade!

  150. doug rogers
    October 10th, 2006 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    #51, Joel….

    Some papers do not carrry both the daily and weekly (Sunday) strips, so necessity declares that some story elements must repeat.

  151. doug rogers
    October 10th, 2006 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    just like this comment is a repeat of Bill Peschels’ in # 69. :-)

  152. Jennifer
    October 10th, 2006 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    today’s TDIET:
    They Will Have Been Doing It Every Time — Just You Wait!

  153. Anonymous
    October 10th, 2006 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    79: I think the author went with a name his readers would recognize – his first instinct was to be trendy and name the guy ‘Ringo’.

  154. vincent
    October 10th, 2006 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    That first panel of Rex Morgan would make a great cover for a metal album. The singer’s face should be superimposed on Elvis’s.

  155. Robin
    October 20th, 2006 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    FBOW – Is Mtigwaki a real place in Canada? If so, where? I love this comic strip and want to see Liz and Paul get married. Anthony made his decision long ago…live with it.

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