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Surrender to sucking

Beetle Bailey, 10/17/10

Sunday Beetle Baileys are notorious for being flabby and shapeless, with an absence of rhythm that guarantees that any possible fun is sucked out of it, but today’s is pretty much one of the worst I’ve seen. I’m not buying the idea that Beetle, who typically can’t even be bothered to push his hat out of his face, has suddenly developed a love for American Revolution trivia. And the weird ritualistic baseball/”surrender” exchange has so little payoff — one would expect that Beetle would use Sarge’s surrender to get out of work, or beatings, somehow — that Sarge is absolutely right to look as bored as he does. About all this strip has going for it is the reminder that Miss Buxley’s little black dress is actually a little red dress, colored black for the demands of the black-and-white daily strips that we increasingly often see colorized.

Family Circus, 10/17/10

Look, Jeffy, here in America we watch TV five hours a day. If you can’t hack it, maybe you should go to Communist Russia, where they’ll let you read books or some garbage like that.

My Cage, 10/17/10

This is getting a bit self-indulgent, but I did want to make sure that Curmudgeon readers who got shout-outs here and who rely on the no-Sunday Strips Houston Chronicle for their comics got to see their names in lights. What I want to know is, why no animal-style names for us? I dare you to come up with an animal-pun version of “Fruhlinger.”

154 responses to “Surrender to sucking”

  1. Shortpacked
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:47 pm [Reply]


  2. The Poster with No Name
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:48 pm [Reply]


  3. Uncle Lumpy
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:49 pm [Reply]


  4. Uncle Lumpy
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:51 pm [Reply]


  5. Thomas B.
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I was in Baltimore this weekend running the Half Marathon. I meant to contact you to let you know I’d be there. I was hoping you would come out to the race route and hold up a picture of Rusty to inspire (scare) me to keep running. I think this fine site would make a great addition to the list of event sponsors. Perhaps a T-shirt with Wilbur Weston in shorts with the caption: “Run lest you look like me.” Or perhaps a T with a pic on the back of Jeffy’s naked bottom: “If you don’t like it, then run faster than me.”

    Now that the race is over, I’ll try to get back to the important things in life such as snarking it up here.

  6. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    Fruhlemer +1

  7. Thomas B.
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:52 pm [Reply]


  8. AndyL
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    This is probably the first time in history that “Wasn’t this an anniversary you wanted to celebrate?” wasn’t a lead-in for a joke where a male character goes off on some weird tangent instead of remembering some sort of important relationship milestone that’s only important by the character who dropped the hint.
    It’s an interesting experiment to skip the hackneyed joke, and play it entirely straight. However, I think it’s safe to say that it’s a failed experiment as lame, time-worn jokes are all this feature has going for it.

  9. Jamus The Bartender
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    My Cage : We will keep the fire burning !!

  10. Rusty
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    Self indulgent for you or for My Cage? If the latter I definitely agree.

  11. AndyL
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    The Keanes should consider getting some furniture for their featureless white room with a TV on the floor. Perhaps a nice coffee table.

  12. Rusty
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    BB: I bet they let Mort write this one in honor of the 60th anniversary. Take away the car keys, kids.

  13. Josh
    October 17th, 2010 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

    @Thomas B. (#5): Did you see the “Eye of the Tiger” guy? He’s a guy who stands at about mile 23 of the marathon dressed in a tiger suit, holding up a boom box that plays “Eye of the Tiger” on continuous loop. If he sees someone who he thinks needs particular encouragement, he’ll even run with them for a bit. He does this for whole time it takes the marathon to pass — about six hours. This all happens a five minute walk from my house and is one of the many reasons I love living in Baltimore.


  14. Rilkar
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

    Does “Five hours a day” count the hours spent just listening to the TV while doing something else more productive?

  15. wossname
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:00 pm [Reply]


  16. Miss Othmar
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

    Fawnlover? (Go Mark Trail!)

  17. Don't Call Me Shirley
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    Neddie is interested in a job at the Central Intelligence Agency World Bank! How will this affect Sam Driver’s new shoemaking practice? Come back in 6-8 months to find out!

  18. yellojkt
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:04 pm [Reply]


  19. Captain Thunder
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    Jeffy, listen: I’m aware you’re an imbecile. You’re aware you’re an imbecile. Let’s not be coy, okay? I’m willing to cut your ignorance a teensy bit of slack most times–the shape of your cranium clearly indicates an undeveloped prefrontal cortex, which according to Wikipedia, “has been implicated in planning complex cognitive behaviors, personality expression, decision making and moderating correct social behavior.” To dumb that down, or “Jeffify”, that for you: your skull is short so your brain is dinky.

    But I draw the line at your most recent embarkation into idiocy. Those are your eyelids, shortskull. Your eyelids won’t let you watch television, or “that talky box.” Your eyes are what allow you to watch TV in the first place. It’s your eyelids. Eye-LIDS.

    I’m glad we had this talk.

  20. Leo
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Man, I haven’t even heard of My Cage until last week, via this site, and I miss it already.

  21. Sequitur
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    Communist Russia? Russia hasn’t been “Communist” since about 1990.

    Oh, wait. FC takes place in the 1960′s or 70′s or some other time other than now.

    Gotcha, Josh.

    In America we look at Family Circus. In Soviet Union Family Circus look at you.
    What a country!

  22. Red Greenback
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:23 pm [Reply]


  23. Johnny Knuckles
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:35 pm [Reply]


  24. juggernaut
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:35 pm [Reply]


  25. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#9): we didn’t start the fire, but it still burns on, and on, and on.

  26. Binder's Butter Beans
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:39 pm [Reply]


    (A liger is a cross between a lion and a tiger, you know. It’s pretty much my favorite animal at the moment)

  27. wossname
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

  28. Johnny Knuckles
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    FC: Mrs. Keene is dressed in her maid outfit. That’s just freaking hot.

  29. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#15): Ah, you beat me to it. Oh, but I can still be the first one with Frogleaper.

  30. UberMitch
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

    Maybe being sent to communist Russia is precisely what Jeffy wants! I mean, he’s already wearing red pajamas, amirite?

  31. Artist formerly known as Ben
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#21): We’re not even in Russia, and I’m already pretty sure that PJ is watching me.

  32. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @Binder’s Butter Beans (#26): bats :[ could probably do something to mash up Josh and this liger

  33. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    @Johnny Knuckles (#23): *lights Bic*

  34. Sequitur
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:48 pm [Reply]


    The loris is appropo since it’s an endangered animal like My Cage.

  35. Hibbleton
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    BB: Killer thinks that British soldiers used pretend swords? I mean, wtf. Beetle gives Sarge the bat and says pretend it’s a sword right in front of Killer. Has BB been taken over by the same group that writes Crock?


  36. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    MT: Yesterday’s MT reminded me, yet again, that this strip is the funniest damned thing on the print comics page, save for Pearls and CdS. As with others, it has inspired me to poetry:
    There’s Mark Trail, swingin’ from a tree,
    B-O-L-D-I- N-G
    First comes hair,
    Then comes hitting,
    Then comes Frank and the governor’s race quitting!

    I bet Jill Black is ha ha ha ha’ing at this strip as we speak.

  37. Thomas B.
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#13): Did not see the tiger suit but did hear the music–it did pick me up. You got some great people in your town. At mile 10 of tha half there was a guy offering beer to the runners–I passed. Every since Lonnie told me of the dangers of drinking and Wilbur showed me the results of non-stop sitting and snacking, I’m a better man. Thank you Mary Worth. And thank you Josh for making MW bearable to read.

  38. bats :[
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:54 pm [Reply]

    @yellojkt (#18): zeeba! I love this one (although all the possibilities are great)!

  39. bats :[
    October 17th, 2010 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    I was thinking of cormorantjohn.

  40. Erik J.
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    I just sent Ed Power a “thank you” e-mail for praising my devotion to his work, within his own work. (My path to internet fame will now begin!!!)

    I guess I owe you some thanks too Josh, since I discovered “My Cage” through this great site of yours.

  41. ElkMeadow
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:14 pm [Reply]


  42. Elaine C
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    I was glad to see the madness that is Beetle Bailey addressed but…I still don’t understand what the “joke” was supposed to be. Anyone? Bueller?

  43. Ned Ryerson
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

    When I was about twelve or thirteen. I was a Revolutionary War nerd. I loved it all: Crispus Attucks, Lexington and Concord, the Boston Tea party, Paul Revere, Marquis de La Fayette, all the way through Sam Von Schmam, the Hessian without aggression. Beetle Bailey makes me want to puke.

  44. This Guy
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:30 pm [Reply]


  45. CleverNameIsaac
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    Forget swords, I’m having a hard time pretending that the baseball bat is a bat. It looks like a mis-colored billy club.

  46. JD
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

    Can anyone explain Beetle Bailey? How is Cornwallis surrendering “just like Sarge”? That picture has no similarity to anyone holding a baseball bat. And where did that picture come from? Was Beetle holding it all day hoping someone would hold a baseball bat up so he could reference it?
    All I can conclude is that the person who made this strip is either seriously out of their league or some genius whose work I can’t understand.

  47. Ned Ryerson
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    Josh Frandookulous, latter day Lord (Snot) of Baltimore.

  48. Ned Ryerson
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    Which I mean in a good way.

  49. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#47): Count Frandookulous, perhaps?

  50. Ukulele Ike
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:41 pm [Reply]

    MC: I was hoping Melissa would show a little more skin.

    Oh, okay…..Fruhippopotamus?

  51. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

  52. Lisa
    October 17th, 2010 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    I vote for Frulemur!

    Re self-indulgent, I dunno. They have a contract until 10/31, and they are obligated to provide content. It is too late for the syndicate ( ;oP ) to demand rewrites, so they are pretty much captive. Why shouldn’t Ed and Melissa rub the syndicate’s collective nose in it by publishing names of websites and people who support them?

    I call it good.

  53. numbersgame
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    Haha, Jeffy is realizing that his pathologically tiny and squinty eyes are impairing his ability to lead a normal life! Don’t worry Jeffy, there’s nothing to see in this small, featureless universe but the similarly featureless and misshapen heads of your siblings, and the header is a reminder that you can tell them apart by size anyway.

  54. AndyL
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    @CleverNameIsaac (#45): Perhaps it’s one of those tiny novelty bats with the team name printed on it?

  55. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus — Since he only has a single tiny nostril to breathe through, Jeffy’s actually suffering from acute oxygen deprivation! (One wonders if the real Jeff Keane is similarly afflicted!)

  56. Sequitur
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    @AndyL (#54): What’s the Camp Swampy team name? “I Can’t Believe We’re Not Sane?”

  57. Sequitur
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#55): You are correct, sir. It’s hard to breathe properly when one spends their life with a finger up one’s nose.

  58. AndyL
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    Beatle’s painting is a pretty good copy of the original, except for the giant shrubbery that’s almost entirely obscuring the French army! I guess that’s a Freedom Shrubbery.

  59. FOOBed again
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    Note to True Fable: Goats! (you’ll have to scroll past the yarn a ways).

  60. Red Greenback
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    BB: Oh, it’s symbolic all right.
    Also, one more…

  61. KarMann
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    @AndyL (#58): Well, it was either that, or cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring, so….

  62. Suz
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    Why not use They show the Sunday funnies, and have Mandrake!

  63. BigTed
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    All “Beetle Bailey” has to do is get Miss Buxley’s red hair right, too — from the way she wears that dress, it’s now clear that she’s actually Joan Holloway.

  64. Austria
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    BB: Uhh…*looks up at other comments* What they said.

    BC: Love the joke, but I feel like I’ve seen panels 5&6 before…which probably means I have.

    FT: Panel 4 is going in my Out Of Context Panels collection.

    H&L: Hey, “leaf peepers”, I have an idea. Why don’t you pick up some of the leaves sitting on the ground right in front of you. Put ‘em in a book or something. Way better strategy than being swindled out of a buck by The Exposition Twins over here.

    Luann: This is funny?

    MC: The fact that today’s strip has to exist, at all, means there is no justice in this world. *sits in a corner sobbing*

  65. Austria
    October 17th, 2010 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    Also — Frungulate. Hoofed mammals. You’re a whole, er, is it “class”? I’m no good at biology.

  66. Roman Fingers
    October 17th, 2010 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    @Rilkar (#14):
    Rilkar: “More productive”? These words mean nothing to me.

    October 17th, 2010 at 10:04 pm [Reply]


    except when he's eating meat

  68. Walker of Dog
    October 17th, 2010 at 10:07 pm [Reply]


    RMMD: Mayor Stu is “out for blood’? I’m no doctor, but the hot topic is his prostate, so shouldn’t he be out for seminal fluid?

    JP: Neddy’s interest in gainful employment will wane when she learns that April is wearing the compulsory World Bank poncho.

    BB: It’s not a real sword and not a real bat, otherwise Sarge would have used it to pound Beetle into the standard pile of disjointed body parts.

    S-M: Klap klap klap… Sigh. Out-of-town morons truly are ruining Broadway – they can’t even clap right.

  69. Pseudo3D
    October 17th, 2010 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    @numbersgame (#53): Personally, I always learned to them apart by hairstyles. PJ was the baby (or most baby-like, if you prefer), and Dolly was the one with a ponytail. Though admittedly, if you replaced Dolly’s haircut with Billy’s, it would look like Billy in drag.

  70. Pseudo3D
    October 17th, 2010 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    What’s especially depressing about Beetle Bailey today is the fact that it looks like it might lead to a funny punch-line: they had two regular-sized panels to use. But it didn’t. Especially the fact that it wasn’t even an important anniversary. Is it the 50th? The 100th? 150? 200? Nope, it was the 229th anniversary…a hardly notable number. If comic strips really wanted to celebrate the importance of something, tomorrow is the 25th anniversary of the NES, the game console that changed everything. Or if you’re more somber, the 5th anniversary of Astroworld’s closure…a true Houston landmark that will be missed.

  71. Mel aka Mel
    October 17th, 2010 at 10:38 pm [Reply]


  72. Captain Thunder
    October 17th, 2010 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    Grouse Fruhlinger

  73. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 17th, 2010 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    At first I thought the title “Surrender to sucking” referred to Scary Gary, but today’s SG is mostly about Leopold and Linda Blair’s character from The Exorcist. Howcum you never talk about Mark Buford’s strip, Josh?

  74. Poor Thompson
    October 17th, 2010 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

    Plus, the famous painting isn’t accurate. Neither Cornwallis or Washington were present at the surrender ceremony. Cornwallis had such low regard for the Continental army, he wouln’t submit himself to the indignity of appearing in person, so he sent some flunky to hand over the sword over. When Washington
    heard about this, he was offended and responded by sending his own flunky to
    accept it.

  75. Mibbitmaker
    October 17th, 2010 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    Since all the great animal puns have (probably) been done, there is the obvious MAD parody name:

    Josh Fruhshlugginer

  76. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 17th, 2010 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

  77. Sequitur
    October 17th, 2010 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

  78. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 17th, 2010 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    It’s been a busy day, folks. Thirty years ago today, the love of my life made an honest man of me. What can I say? I recommend it.

    Dick – Okay, they fooled me today. Full points awarded for an actual plot twist.

    Luann – Today, a special appearance by the soul of Fred Basset.

    Slylock – Moon, schmoon. Slylock threw the book at Weirdly, because he felt like it.

    Piranha – Years ago, I was thinking we could put really thick make-up on a mannequin head, and make prints from it on a bunch of cloths and sell each one as “the Shroud of Tammy Faye.” Needless to say, I did nothing about this sure-fire scheme, and as a result, I still don’t have a million dollars.

  79. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 17th, 2010 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    Mary – She may be a fictional character, but Jill’s a Reality Curmudgeon.

    Beetle – Next week: Our Friend, Magnetism!

    My Cage – Truly, you are welcome. (But why are you thanking Norm? All he’s going to do is write about it on his blog after failing to lift a finger for you!)

    ps: Froglinger. Fruhlizard. Fruhlingerbil. Fruhlingoat. Crowlinger. (Hell, Fruhlemur won before I even checked in.)

  80. Mibbitmaker
    October 17th, 2010 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Okay, extra-creepy, given it’s Thorax and all. Oh, and the reference to “over-intellectual” — LOOK WHO’S TALKING, BROOKE!

    MW: I’ve really got to do one of those “she reminds me of…” bits (thematically ripped off from Letterman of course) about Jill Black. She’s an odd duck, that one. Now I really hope she’s a parody of us! That would beat the hell out of the preachy stuff Brooke and Batiuk gave this place, that’s for sure.

  81. Darryl Heine
    October 17th, 2010 at 11:43 pm [Reply]

    I could come up with a funny name with an animal – Josh Frulynxer.

    Glad I, Darryl H., got mentioned in the My Cage October 17, 2010 strip as it approaches its final 2 weeks.

    Nobody mentioned the October 17, 2010 Blondie comic strip when Dagwood was dancing with Mr. Dithers until he was told to “Cut it out or I’m calling security!” I guess Dagwood was watching too much of “Dancing with the Stars”, but for me, I saw a local stage theatre production of the 1975-1990 Broadway musical of a dance tryout or something like that called “A Chorus Line”.

  82. bats :[
    October 17th, 2010 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

    @Darryl Heine (#81): and prominently, too. Kudos, Darryl H.!

  83. Ubiq
    October 18th, 2010 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    Josh Fruhllama. “Allow me to illustrate my hatred of your comic thusly. *HAAAAGGGGCCCCCKKKKKK!*”

  84. Poteet
    October 18th, 2010 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    10/18 MT — Yeah, it’s a pet deer. It’s an ILLEGAL pet deer. Only in LoFo is it perfectly okay to haul a mutant fawn out of the woods, thereby breaking its mother’s heart, and turn it into into the cervid version of Lassie.

  85. bats :[
    October 18th, 2010 at 12:13 am [Reply]


    Phantom: “And what happened then? Well, in Bengalla they say that the Phantom’s small testicles grew three sizes that day!”

  86. bats :[
    October 18th, 2010 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    (That’s actually supposed to be 10/18, dammit.)

  87. Poteet
    October 18th, 2010 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#85): HAR!!

    I do hope he’ll haul his larger testicles back into that prison and check that last cell and find Diana, mostly because I want him to cut Savarna loose. Mildly deranged though Savarna is, I want her to have a chance at what passes, in the Phantomiverse, for a normal life.

  88. Mibbitmaker
    October 18th, 2010 at 12:31 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#85): So far, the new Mark Trail and Mary Worth were the funniest things I’ve seen… until that comment! I sincerely do NOT want to jinx it, but that has to be CotW! (at least before DePatie & Freleng over there put in another aggrevating twist into it, ruining everything again)

  89. dale
    October 18th, 2010 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    @Poor Thompson (#74):

    If you’re going to mess up a good story with facts, you’ll never make it as a politician.
    “That huge deer attacked me! You could see the hate in its eyes and the froth at its mouth. They have sharp hooves and their large grinding molars are made for crushing human bones.”

  90. Comcis Fan
    October 18th, 2010 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    The irony about Monday’s Blondie is that I can’t remember the daughter’s name. I just come up with Dolly, Boopsie and Honey. Now, a cool guy at school likes her and she’s ditzy enough to be hung up on his name? A) If he’s cool enough, people will think his name is cool, and B) with a name like Sheldrake, he could be Shel or Drake, either of which could be cool.

    MW: Too bad Adrian is wilting, just as the bully wants. I think the point of this mean character is to get us to actually root for Mary Worth, and it’s working. I’m waiting for Mary to wallop Jill with a bolt of tulle.

  91. bats :[
    October 18th, 2010 at 1:38 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#90): it’s Cookie.
    Yeah, I know.

  92. True Fable
    October 18th, 2010 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    @FOOBed again (#59): GOAT!

    and since I cannot come up with a niftycool way of incorporating goat with Fruhlinger other than “Fruhlingoat”, I shall sit on the sofa with the ninja goats and just watch the brilliance parade pass by.

  93. bats :[
    October 18th, 2010 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    @True Fable (#92): It’s quite a menagerie that every has come up with. It’s like loading Noah’s Ark, only funnier!

  94. Roman Fingers
    October 18th, 2010 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    Please note: I was diagnosed this morning with a pretty severe case of tendinitis in my right shoulder. I’ve had it before, but this time was bad enough that I couldn’t get my arm extended far enough to reach the key to start my car. In addition to making it hard to type, I’m currently gooned up on Vicodin for the pain. Any bizarre spelling, meaningless rambling, and unfunny snark can be attributed to the drugs.

    A3G: It’s Doris, dragging the cut-up body of whatsisface in a large garbage bag.

    BaBlu: Hammie needs to learn the lawyer’s rule: Never ask a question that you don’t already know the answer to.

    Cranky: We see Gen. George S. Crankshaft preparing to do battle with the leaves. Seeing him in his normal clothes tells me that the only Battle of the Bulge that he’s fighting is the one with his gut.

    DtM: Good Lord, Howard Keel has put on a lot of weight.

    DT: Wait, they were in an alley in downtown Chicago, and now they’re in a hilly park? Did they borrow the set after Mary Worth was done using it for Dr. Mike and his dad?

    FC: Even at his young age, Billy knows that some mornings, it’s just not worth the trouble to gnaw through the restraints.

    reFOOB: You know what would be cool? If they went as a landscaper, a mechanic, and a marginally successful writer!

    Teh Funktacular Winkerbean: Les Moore–Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool. Not because he’s torn between two lovers, but because, well, he’s Les Moore.

    GT: Yeah, but losing doesn’t get Jamaar the props he so richly deserves.

    Lockhorns: Why does Loretta’s pose remind me of Marmaduke singing?

    Luann: Welcome to the densest place in the known universe: the Tiffanyspace.

    MT: At this point, the only way Frank wins is if his opponent is caught in bed with a dead girl, or a live boy.

    Marm: I’m with the ‘duke. I want that sandwich.

    MW1: I don’t think I’d point out that someone looked old-fashioned if I had Ginger Grant’s hair style and Nancy Sinatra’s boots. Just sayin’.

    Plug: Hey, I like old cars, as long as they’re not rusted-out hulks. Maybe that’s what separates me from Pluggerdom.

    RMMD: Please tell me that Rose is gonna ‘fess up. If she doesn’t, I may burn down City Hall.

    Zits: Connie is missing a great opportunity. While Jeremy is backpacking, she and Walt can move and leave no forwarding address. Doesn’t anybody in this strip think?

  95. greghousesgf
    October 18th, 2010 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    I’m sure that guy means well but I’m glad I’m not running in that marathon. That’s one of the worst songs of the 80s, a decade positively brimming with bad songs.
    we want a shrubbery! NI!!

  96. 8th Man Fan
    October 18th, 2010 at 2:10 am [Reply]

    Sunday BB: I think I’ve cracked the code. It’s not about the Surrender of Cornwallis as much as the people with him in that painting. As puts it:

    [I]n 1976…the US Postal Service issued the Bicentennial souvenir sheets, including one portraying the ‘Surrender of Cornwallis’. This sheet was of particular interest to me because it included three men relevant to my fledgling collection: General von Steuben, Alexander Hamilton and his lover, Col. John Laurens.

    Don’t know if General von Steuben or Alexander Hamilton were ever asked or ever told, but, as the links indicate, people had their suspicions.

    Two hundred twenty-four years later, as the U.S. military stands on the verge of allowing gay soldiers to serve openly, Mort has found the most subtle way yet to tell us that the military has been subbing its text right from the start.

    Hey, if the climax of your strip is Sarge surrendering his “bat” to Beetle, what else could it be about?

  97. Ed Power, Cage Writer
    October 18th, 2010 at 2:20 am [Reply]

    Josh @ #0

    “This is getting a bit self-indulgent”

    Yeah, I dunno…I’ve been thinking, and I usually beat myself up for posting here. I think I’ve ‘Vanilla Iced’ the joint a lot of times (anyone get that reference? That’s ok. Somtimes they’re just for me. :) I’ll give you a hint: Chris Kattan), but then I was thinking today…I read the site almost since the beginning (my cousin Bill e-mailed me about it very early on, and I remember one rant on that day’s Garfield had me laughing so hard my co-workers thought I’d flipped), I even posted here a few times (under a name I’ll reveal if I ever decide not to work in comics again :D :D :D ), and then I eventually turned around and got syndicated.

    My thought is I’m just the fist of the readers here who will be able to say that, so why not post here and shout the place out. It’s like a comic from a comedy club making it to appear on Letterman or something. :)

    A lot of people mistake this site for just another internet site full of haters. But I know most of the humor here comes from passionate comics fans who are a bit frustrated by the current state of our shared hobby. The next step logic step is to change that state, and due to that I know I won’t be the only one here to eventually get syndicated….or whatever the next step is once syndication dies out. ;)

    Also, I like all the animal puns for ‘Fruhlinger’ too. :)

    The only ones I can think of for that haven’t been used are:

    Jostrich Fruhlinger
    Josh Fowlinger
    Josh Freshwater
    Josh Fruitbatlinger
    Josh Kangaroolinger/Kangaruhlinger


  98. KarMann
    October 18th, 2010 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    Jumble: This one’s for mollificent!
    Groovy Blinkerlegume [*]: So, now Les is going to be torn between four women? WTF, Batiuk?

  99. Sheila Sternwell
    October 18th, 2010 at 2:28 am [Reply]

    Remember, guys, “silly” is not the look Adrian is going for. Jot it down on a post-it or something.

  100. Kelly
    October 18th, 2010 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    @Austria (#65):

    >Also — Frungulate. Hoofed mammals. You’re a whole, er, is it “class”? I’m no good at biology.

    Ungulates was an order (same level as primates and rodents (class would be e.g. mammals)), but it was split into a number orders. Also, traditional definitions of ungulates did not include some animals that clearly belong in the same clade (e.g. cetaceans).

    So if ungulata exists at all, it includes some animals not previously included in it, and it would be a superorder or an unranked clade between Laurasiatheria and the orders Artiodactyla, Perissodactyla, etc. Actually, a large portion of the phylogeny of Afrotheria is still in flux pending better definitions, comparisons and molecular/dna tests.

    … don’t look at me like that, everyone needs a hobby.

  101. Joe Btfsplk
    October 18th, 2010 at 3:04 am [Reply]




  102. Aviatrix
    October 18th, 2010 at 3:22 am [Reply]

    @8th Man Fan (#96): And here I was thinking that Mort had simply risen to the challenge “bet you can’t get them to print a strip with Sarge saying ‘I surrender’ while handing Beetle a 12-inch dildo.”

  103. KarMann
    October 18th, 2010 at 5:13 am [Reply]

    @Ed Power, Cage Writer (#97): May I make a suggestion, if you can make it happen? I think it’d be awesome sauce if you & Melissa could get signed (maybe numbered?) prints of Sunday’s strip to all the people named there.
    Josh, if this were to happen, you would of course be obliged to post pics!

  104. John C Fremont
    October 18th, 2010 at 5:56 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#87): Nah, I see Savarna cruising by the Bengalla coast at four in the morning blairing “Sometimes When We Touch” on her eight track, leaving empty Zima bottles in her wake. Maybe she could stop at that abandoned oil rig in the Gulf…

    Pluggers – Or, you could be an antique car enthusiast. Like Jay Leno.

    Oh. Oh, dear.

    MT – “But – but – It will make a good meal for dinner… tonight?”

    MC – A superhero-themed wedding? That’s just crazy. But a Gollum ring bearer? Now that’s just common sense. I’ll bet that Jill character over at Mary Worth is on top of it already.

    (The “four in the morning” concept is borrowed from Mike Nelson, a man for all seasons.)

  105. Mordock999
    October 18th, 2010 at 6:30 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann 10/18/10

    “Shoot Him the CHEST!”
    “Blugeon in His HEAD!”
    “THATS how many WAYS We want TJ DEAD!”
    “DEATH to TJ!!!!”

    (The New Pitts High School Cheer)

    DEATH to TJ!!!

  106. nerowolfgal
    October 18th, 2010 at 6:58 am [Reply]

    @Roman Fingers (#94):

    I feel for you. I am waiting for surgery in my right shoulder, and can just remember fondly the days when I could brush my own hair.

    To hell with the good old days. I LIKE modern pain killers.

  107. Flummoxicated
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:08 am [Reply]

    MW: Adrian’s hair looks old-fashioned, but the dress is pretty much the standard wedding gown form that is popular right now. Yet Miss Black’s snark has won her a place in my heart.

  108. Mela
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:27 am [Reply]


    9CL: Sign of a Mary Sue #289 – Slurs are only slurs when someone else uses them, not your main character. She can use them with impunity and be seen as “witty”.

    A3G: The stylists are back, bringing an in-home salon to make sure that you don’t ruin all that hard work they did, dammit.

    Baldo: Okay, I gotta admit it – that fourth panel is well done.

    ‘Shaft: Maybe it’s because my leaf blower is the backpack kind, but I don’t see a military maneuver when I clean leaves – I hear the theme to “Ghostbusters”.

    Edge: Who slapped my mom in a blonde wig and dumped her in this comic?

    FW: Lord Almighty, is Batiuk’s idea of romance so junior-high-level stunted that he thinks the dueling girlfriends are gonna get catty over a hired professional agent? Wait, forget it – I know the answer. I just wish it was different.

    Garfield: I tried that in gym class back in high school. Didn’t work.

    Luann: Is this supposed to be funny or intensely creepy?

    MT: Oh, there HAS to be punching by the end of the week.

    MW: No, Jill, the term you’re looking for is “generic”, like every damn bridal dress on every damn bridal show, only with less beading because the artist’s hand was cramping. (Tangent: Seriously, does anyone get married in a dress with sleeves anymore? My mother’s dress had lovely lace sleeves back in the day, not that sweetheart line crap.)

    MC: Dorkiest thing ever… or BEST thing ever?

    NS: Okay, even though it’s in the most needlessly prolonged anvilicious storyline ever, something about today’s old man with a heavy New England accent talking about ancient cults & saving the world from a second big bang was actually kind of cute. Sorry.

    Speed: This is all I asked the gym teachers to do. Is that so much?

    Argyle: Okay, I’ll admit it – that’s funny.

    Zits: Ha, ha! It’s funny because she’s an abusive bitch determined to stunt her son’s emotional growth he’s a filthy teenager!

  109. wossname
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    A3G – Oh please let it be somebody dragging Tommie down the hall oh pleaseohpleaseohplease!

    Crank – HA HA! It’s funny because he… uhhhh… because it… because the leaves… you know what, it’s not funny.

    MT – And so ended the Frank Johnson for Governor campaign.

    Sly – Heh heh… he said sticky-tipped stick, Beavis.

  110. KarMann
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    10/18 NS: I believe I detect a hint of an homage to Douglas Adams in this one.

  111. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail — “My name is Mark… and I’m an alcoholic!”

    Heathcliff — Is “doggie business” a euphemism for dogsh!t?

  112. terrapin
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    @Ed Power, Cage Writer (#97):I have been trying to forget eighties music, with some measure of success, and you have to go and make a Vanilla Ice reference! I will forgive you if you do all you can to get the entire run of My Cage published in book form.

  113. dreadedcandiru2
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    @Roman Fingers (#94): ReFoob: That’s so obvious, I didn’t even see it. Well played!!

  114. Terry in Maryland
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    MT: Mark moves like a ninja, apparently. In that first panel, he’s beside the girl and the fawn. In the second panel, he’s pointing at them in the distance.

    MW: Ooooooh, Mary’s giving her the big old stink eye in panel one. This is going to get ugly.

    Phantom: OMG, The Ghost Who Mopes found his backbone. Please don’t have him go through a Keystone Kops routine in all the frickin hallways. Just walk to the one cell you didn’t search, Kit.

  115. Rusty
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    @Ed Power, Cage Writer (#97): Vanilla Ice wrecking the set on VH1?

  116. Vince M
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#85): Thank you for not doing that in a comic strip format.

  117. John E.
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    I actually laughed at Monday’s Family Circus…wtf?

  118. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    SB: let’s see Frazz run THIS one!

    OtH: *snicker* sadly, the squirrels usually win in the end.

    MC: heeee!

    Cleats: YAY! Monsters vs Aliens returns!

    GF and LaCuc share a joke, for entirely dissimilar reasons.

    Phantom: bats :[, can we get a Narration Box added saying "NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!" to that last panel? Bandar tongue optional.

    6C: that explains Twilight as well.

    SFx: I'm assuming pool cues and bubblegum. Followed by some off-panel private consultations with Ms Lynx, if you know what I mean. [*]

  119. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    @KarMann (#98): too tall to be our mollificent, but good catch nonetheless!

  120. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft — General Painintheass!

    Pardon My Planet — Shouldn’t a centaur have FOUR legs?

  121. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:15 am [Reply]

    MT: “You attempted to shoot my neighbor’s stepdaughter’s pet deer!” By the time Mark runs through that tangled syntax, the rest of the hunting party should be able to take pretty good aim at this group. And the next question will be, what kind of Trail trophy does one mount on one’s office wall: Mark’s spit-curled head, or his two mighty fists?

    FC: Okay, I get that the melonheads misunderstand “grown-up” words. But they’re not familiar with “good morning”?

    BR,SG: I kinda love that Pig from PBS is tucked in there with the rest.

    MW: So “Type A” means “bullying bitch”? Either way, I’m kind of a fan.

    A3G: Tommie’s limp, inebriated body? The corpse of Jack, contract-murdered by Margo after her romantic humiliation? The zombified form of Margo’s fiance? Or, maybe, it’s Kurt not-Weston, taking his duffle-bag “are you my parent” roadshow to the big city!

  122. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#78): Happy 30 years + one day anniversary!

  123. Mela
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#121): And the next question will be, what kind of Trail trophy does one mount on one’s office wall: Mark’s spit-curled head, or his two mighty fists?

    Clearly, the correct answer is both. Or you just have him stuffed & posed mid-punch, like a taxidermy bear always shown rearing up.

  124. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:22 am [Reply]



    here, have three penguins!

  125. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Curtis — More proof Curtis’ cap is actually an alien symbiote:
    it moved from his left side to his right side… and back again!

    Nancy — Fritzi l@@ks like she’s heading straight to cheerleader tryouts!

  126. 8th Man Fan
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Phantom, completing the thought: “…Yeah, if I want to ditch Captain Fatal Attraction again, I’ll have to go over the other fence.”

    @Aviatrix (#102): Ha!

  127. Rocky Stoneaxe
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#78):

    HAPPY 30th ANNIVERSARY, MR. & MRS. MUFFAROO! (Mrs. Stoneaxe & I celebrated our 25th a few months ago…)

  128. mvg
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Shrewlinger. One might even go so far as to suggest: Josh “Shady” Shrewlinger.

  129. Uncle Ritzy Fritz
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    @Johnny Knuckles (#28): Hot in a maid outfit would be, say, Carol Cleveland in one of her various Python roles. This one here harkens back to Alice in the Brady Bunch. And unless your name is Sam and you handle meat all day, I wager you would not consider that hot.

  130. wossname
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    @Lisa (#52): Re self-indulgent – I think Josh was talking about his inclusion of the shout-out MC in here, not about Ed & Mel writing/drawing it.

    @Mibbitmaker (#75): Josh Fruhshlugginer was the first thing that occurred to me, too, and I had to keep pushing it out of my mind to think of something animally.

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#78): Happy anniversary!

  131. CanuckDownSouth
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Clearly, the MW artist understands “draw something classic, beautiful, but that could be called old-fashioned” about as well as the writer understands ‘make dialogue for a critical woman giving pushy advice someone would pay attention to’

  132. sully
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    I fully expected Sarge to beat the hell out of Beetle with the bat once he took it. Actually, I was hoping he would.
    And maybe, just maybe My Cage was killed because it just isn’t very good. The comics pages are already full of lousy strips. Why would readers need another one?

  133. mojo
    October 18th, 2010 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    “Oh, NO! … Silly’s not the look I’m going for!”






  134. Shawn S.
    October 18th, 2010 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    “Are you sure he wasn’t lying Tiffany?! Because if you failed, Dirk is going to steal my girl and then kick the crap out of me!”

    I’m not sure what’s sadder, the plan to fool Dirk or the fact that everyone went along with said plan because they know Brad would never stop whining otherwise.

  135. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 18th, 2010 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    Dick – So this guy’s mutant power is that, instead of dandruff, his scalp emits Band-aids. That’s some pretty scary stuff.

    Three-D seems appropriate for this strip. The drawing has two dimensions. One-dimensional plot and one-dimensional characters add two more. The writing actually subtracts one, so you end up with three.

    Hägar – Sometimes I ask myself what right I have to mock the successful cartoonists of the Walker-Browne empire. And then a voice comes back and says, “Because Casper is the capital of Wyoming.”

    Hi – Oh, this could be interesting. Looks like Hi and Lois are acting out the “Joe Blow” story by R. Crumb. (I almost said “this could be good,” then I remembered who their kids are. Why couldn’t this happen in Blondie?)

    Slylock – No fair! I don’t see a bubble gum machine standing around to cue the reader, unless it’s behind the rabbit with the immense clown nose.

    Spider-Man – I see the people applauding, but I can’t see who’s shouting “KLAP! KLAP!” over and over. Must be Asian.

  136. ComcisFan
    October 18th, 2010 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#91):

    Thanks, Bats. Cookie and Sheldrake. Now that’s magic.

  137. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    October 18th, 2010 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#87): If Phantom cuts Savarna loose, she’ll become a deranged stalker. Does he have a pet rabbit?

    @KarMann (#98): So, now Les is going to be torn between four women?
    Yeah, if only. Obviously, I’d prefer horses or tanks, but whatever it takes.

    @mvg (#128): Shrewlinger! We have a new winner! Somebody throw the old winner into the alley.

    Thanks for the anniversary wishes, bourbon babe and the rest of youse. We went out and had a meal that couldn’t be beat at the restaurant Wegman’s runs (“Next Door Bar & Grill”) to celebrate.

  138. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    October 18th, 2010 at 9:21 am [Reply]

  139. CanuckDownSouth
    October 18th, 2010 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    Come to think of it, do audiences dress up in tuxes and gowns for Broadway? Even opening night? The Spidey applause panel looks like it might belong at an awards show.

  140. fnord3125
    October 18th, 2010 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    Well, I was certainly disappointed with this Beetle Bailey. By the first panel, I assumed that Beetle needed to be reminded that it was October, an idea which kind of amused me. Then the rest of the strip went on to bore me to tears.

  141. Calico
    October 18th, 2010 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    @Johnny Knuckles (#23):
    “What song is it you wanna hear?”
    *Sad, slow guitar line starts while crowd cheers*

  142. JD
    October 18th, 2010 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    I figured out Beetle Bailey!
    Sarge *did* pound Beetle with the bat. The last panel is just a figment of Beetle’s imagination as he lies, near-death, on the ground.
    Next week: Beetle’s funeral.

  143. But What Do I Know?
    October 18th, 2010 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    BB-Cornwallis surrendered on the 19th of October, not the 17th!!!

  144. bats :[
    October 18th, 2010 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @mvg (#128): beeyootiful!

  145. dfral
    October 18th, 2010 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    Your last name is Fruhlinger?? My last name is Fralinger, maybe we’re related? Anyway one time I was being a pussy about something and one of my friends called me a “little porcelain fral-baby” and the “fral-baby” nickname stuck, so there’s that.

  146. Randrew Cox
    October 18th, 2010 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    “you’r eyes wont let you?” Jeffy, its all that Xanax you took to take the edge off the Ritalin, that wont let you.

  147. Lloyd S.
    October 18th, 2010 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    Somebody else already got this one, no doubt, but I’d have to say Froglinger is pretty obvious.

  148. Fig
    October 18th, 2010 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Well, Frühling is German for “spring,” so Fruhlinger is equivalent to “springer,” so Josh Springer Spaniel? I guess that’s pretty labored and requires too much explanation, but whatever.

  149. AG
    October 18th, 2010 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    Beetle and Sarge: I’m honestly never quite sure which one is the top.

  150. Wilbur
    October 18th, 2010 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    More like your heroin habit won’t let you watch TV, little fiend.

  151. jasperjava
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

    BB: You obviously haven’t considered the possibility that Miss Buxley wears black Monday to Saturday, and wears red to mark the Lord’s Day, in memory of the Blood of the Lamb.

    You also apparently haven’t considered the possibility that Miss Buxley is an illuminated charismatic Catholic, which has helped her preserve her chastity despite being surrounded by randy sex-starved mutants.

  152. Iconoclast
    October 18th, 2010 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

    Beetle’s grasp of American history is flawed. And his picture is a fake. Cornwallis did not surrender to George Washington. Cornwallis claimed an illness prevented him from being present to surrender, and he sent his second-in-command to do it for him. It seems that Camp Swampy isn’t attracting the best and brightest young history students these days. I don’t know what that says about the army as a whole.

  153. Pippi Mung
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:38 pm [Reply]

    MyGod: getting a bit self-indulgent
    …That could be THE understatement of this blog’s history, Josh.
    Final panel: “Look! Everyone’s abandoned us!! Even though we were nothing but gracious the whole time!”

  154. Chowder
    October 18th, 2010 at 8:47 pm [Reply]


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