Technology Tuesday
Well, Monday was one of those days, with this site unaccountably down for a few hours, followed by the unavailability of the King Features Web site. Since King Features is the origin of most of the color comics we follow here, including Mary Worth, Funky Winkerbean, Mark Trail, Judge Parker, Apartment 3G, and Rex Morgan, M.D., well, you can see the problem!
I’ll post a note here when I hear that King (and therefore the Chron) is back up, although some alert reader is sure to post the news in the comments before then.
Update 1/30/07 11:15 EST – King Features and Chron back up.
Many, many thanks to faithful readers gh and willethompson for scanning and sending MW, FW, RMMD and JP backups, but it appears the crisis has passed.
Until then, I have a confession to make:
Diesel Sweeties, 1/30/07
Robots terrify me. I’m convinced NASA made a big mistake sending them to Mars, and I bet they wouldn’t tell us about Elvis even if they found him. I felt a lot better about Darth Vader when I figured out there was a guy inside. I have a Roomba, but I keep an eye on it, and unplug it at night.
So I’m really ambivalent about Diesel Sweeties. It’s pretty smart about human/machine relationships, the IM-style graphics give it a distinctive look and can be surprisingly expressive, and I love love love the nonspatial references (like the Sweden flag here) that just pop in and out when they’re needed. On the other hand, the human characters are really shallow and there are too many of them – it’s like they’re in tryouts. The human/human relationship strips fall really flat. And, well, robots are evil. Everybody knows that.
Doonesbury, 1/30/07
In panel one, we have a robot; in panel three, Alex Doonesbury. If you’re looking to strike up a relationship of any kind, pick the robot. Alex is a self-obsessed, whiny, manipulative, spoiled, . . . well, I could go on and on. She is a twenty-four carat pain in the ass, even though she’s surrounded by some of the most engaging characters in all of comics. But she’s even though she’s completely unlikeable, she’s entertaining. See, Lynn? See? That’s how it’s done!
Luann, 1/30/07
This has nothing at all to do with technology, but gah. GAH! How many times will we have to sit through this same damn storyline? Aaron f’n Hill, Bernice’s wheelchair guy, Toni f’n Daytona, fill in the f’n blank. Now I like Greg Evans’ work! He draws cartoon people – particularly girls – better than almost anybody around, and his faces are expressive (compare with Foob’s “I have been hit with a baseball bat” universal reaction shot). But the guy can’t plot for stink. Luann, I’ve got sad, sad news for you. You’re marrying Gunther.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:17 am
They could do a Twilight Zone crossover twist and have Luann marry Anthony the foob. But the ramifications of this terrify me. And hello, I appear to be first. Hmm.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:19 am
Diesel Sweeties is kinda a unique situation though-it’s a long running and popular webcomic making the jump to print. And in the web version, the human characters have had way more time to develop.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:29 am
O’ poor comic strip women! Cinched into tight revealing clothing or forced to suffer the fat joke. Destined to marry nerdy neurotics, layabouts, dumpy loudmouths, or milquetoast whiners. When will they rise up, whip those comic strip men into shape, and then walk away to create their own destinies?
Alas, alack, ack.
January 30th, 2007 at 4:10 am
Lu Ann marries Gunther? It sits nicely with me, thanks, because Gunther seems to be interested in people and not trying to glide through life on his looks.
Aaron Hill? He’s gay.
The wheelchair guy? Gregg Evans said he found it hard to draw a wheelchair, so he had to go.
Zippy the pinhead wishes to annouce the forthcoming marriage of himself to Lizard breath.
A relationship we can all deal with. Realisticly.
Has Scott Adams gotten his voice back?
January 30th, 2007 at 4:35 am
#4: yes, yes he has, a few months ago now.
January 30th, 2007 at 5:42 am
First, comment #2: You can’t be “kinda unique.” Unique as a word is similar to virginity in people or incorruptibility in a politician: it’s either there or it’s not.
Second, in the middle panel of Luann, Bernice is posed in the universal “gonna get some” manner – long-lost brother or not. Face it, Luann, you’re the French poodle to Gunther’s little pitbull (Babe, Pig in the City reference).
Third, in today’s FOOB, Deanna is again showing signs of being the only person in the strip based on reality. Meredith is shortly to be smacked across the face with her doll or a burlap sack.
January 30th, 2007 at 6:25 am
UL, robots are sinister, CLOWNS are evil! You never know what a robot is thinking: should I serve their carbon-based wills or screw Asimov’s Rule of Robotics and serve them stuffed with gallium arsenide for dinner on BellLabs Day? Or it could be just 01101101010010010010010101, kind of a ‘brain the size of a planet and I’m escorting you to the bridge of the Heart of Gold’ grumble.
But…clowns. Stephen King’s IT. Zippy (or so I think). Dagwood’s Clownburger with hollandaise. Ronald McDonald and whatever is REALLY in a Ribwich. Brrrrrr.
January 30th, 2007 at 6:42 am
WTF King Features/Daily Ink? The e-mail of your strips is empty and I can’t access anything directly at the site.
Wah! No S-M, no MW, no FW, no FC, no SF, no MF, no Phantom, no….*sniff, sniff*
Excuse me while I go off to have a kinda unique mope for a bit. :-(
January 30th, 2007 at 6:52 am
I like how Alex’s boobs have grown in over the years.
January 30th, 2007 at 7:41 am
King Features… down! So many… strips… missing!
Ah well, there’s still (Death to) Gil Thorp:
I just read today’s, and all three panels followed each other in a logical, easy-to-stay-with, sequential order. For a few seconds, I understood a (DT)GT conversation.
Y’know, seeing as there must be an Alignment of the Planets today, I woulda thought they’d announce it somewhere else long before this.
January 30th, 2007 at 7:42 am
#7 Just be glad Josh (and/or Co. included) have ever posted MECHANOCLOWN! Now that’s a comic that no one likes… a robot-clown! No one likes it so much, that it doesn’t exist!
wait?
January 30th, 2007 at 7:50 am
I’d like to throw in some love for “Stone Soup” regarding the artist’s ability to draw reactions. While writing-wise I’m not always crazy about Jan Eliot’s storylines, I am consistently tickled (yes, tickled) by her (and I know it’s a she because I looked it up, fool me once “Six Chix” and “Rose is Rose” guy, shame on you, fool me twice yadayada) redering of the characters’ emotions. By today’s standards it’s nothing short of genius.
January 30th, 2007 at 7:55 am
I own a great bumper sticker that says “Can’t Sleep — Clowns Will Kill Me!”
Best clown in the comics: Stucco the Clown in “Big Top.” Cheerfully leaving a path of destruction in his wake. Rob Harrell somehow manages to make Stucco look happy and vaguely creepy at the same time.
Aside from the fact that Greg Evans has been killing time with Luann’s infatuations since Day One of the strip, I have another issue. Isn’t he getting dangerously close to jailbait territory here? I don’t know exactly how old Luann and Bernice are; they’ve aged very slowly since the strip debuted, starting out as early teens and progressing to upper high school. But the hunky war vet has to be at least a few years older than Luann. I suppose at best they could be 20 and 17 respectively, but they could also be 23 and 16, which is just a little bit scary in a comic strip.
January 30th, 2007 at 7:58 am
#12 — I don’t know where you picked up the idea that “Six Chix” is done by a guy. It’s a joint effort of six women cartoonists; they each do one day a week, I believe. I’ve met one of the six, Stephanie Piro.
January 30th, 2007 at 8:05 am
Diesel Sweeties is much like #2 said – but he forgot to provide a link! I dunno how much trouble I’d get in for linking directly to it, so I’ll just tell you to put a .com on it. There’s almost 1700 archived strips, and like #2 said, the characters have been slowly built up over the last 5 years or so. Also available via the website are the print archives, although they’re usually a couple days behind. From looking back at the beginning of the webcomic archive, Mr. Stevens is apparently pretty much running the same strips he made 5+ years ago, just reformatting them into a standard newspaper format and toning down / skipping over the racier ones (the webcomic has used much more crude humor and/or sensitive topics in the past than would ever get past the newspaper idiots.)
I’m happy for Mr. Stevens, I think it’s a great move to get into the mainstream, but I’m also glad that he’s keeping the online webcomic going, as it’s bound to be much better than you’d ever get in a newspaper.
January 30th, 2007 at 8:09 am
FBoFW Oh, the pathos! Oh, the bathos! Oh, the carefully laid out schlock, poor poor Pattersons doing their noble best to gather their things back from the house fire and commenting about their lack of living places, and adorable widdle Mewidith bringing home the poignancy in the last panel!
The best thing I could possibly say about today’s FBoFW is, Lynn drew Deanna fairly attractive and closer to the right age, especially in the last panel. About damn time.
What I want to know is, do Canada’s firepeople really go to such extraordinary lengths to recover people’s belongings? Because I have yet to see any of the saintly Pattersons soil their hands. You’d think they’d be over there trying to salvage whatnots.
January 30th, 2007 at 8:19 am
#201 willethompson (last thread)
Yes, yes! You’ve restored my faith in what we do, and by my count, our audience now stands at at least four! The royalties alone should be good for 1 Pez refill apiece! Plus the satisfaction of a job well done.
January 30th, 2007 at 8:28 am
FOOB: I had to check to see if Michael was using ‘dispossessed’ correctly in todays strip.
Google definition: “physically or spiritually homeless or deprived of security”
Spititually homeless sounds about right…
January 30th, 2007 at 8:29 am
Doonesbury: I much prefer the whiny big-breasted chick’s failing at MIT to the rest of the strips’ heavy-handed “WAR IS BAD!” plots.
Diesel Sweeties: This strip has been added to my paper and I haven’t really been impressed. It just reminds me that I miss Robotman.
LuAnn: Ok, if Ben (assuming that’s his real name) just got back from Iraq he’s probably at least 20, so he better stay away from that conniving jailbait LuAnn.
January 30th, 2007 at 8:34 am
#9 – I know about Zipper, but who else is Alex’s boob?
#10 – Yes, the (DT)GT dialogue was comprehensible today – but what graphics robot has squeezed each character’s face in a vise?
January 30th, 2007 at 8:40 am
FOOB-of course Michael is using ‘dispossessed’ correctly–he’s a WRITER!! A brilliant writer! Haven’t you read his monthly letter? He describes how the firefighters “moved like clockwork” etc. Like someone vomited a meal of overripe metaphors and analogies into a bucket of tripe.
I’m surprised Lynn didn’t have him open do an open mouth scream “WE ARE THE DISPOSSESSED! Oh that I should smell the bitter stench of dispossession!!”
January 30th, 2007 at 8:42 am
Alex is a weird case. For most of her existence in the strip she’s been defined by her relationship with her father and her antipathy towards her mother (who’s admittedly made some baffling decisions). Freud probably would have diagnosed her as a dormant Electra complex. I call it “Garry Trudeau doesn’t know anyone under 40.”
January 30th, 2007 at 8:45 am
Too bad Michael can’t go on and on in the funnies as he does in his monthly letters.
I think the guy has split personalities and is going to go around the bend soon and kill everyone in the strip.
What, you say no he won’t?
Thanks for takin away my dreams.
January 30th, 2007 at 8:46 am
And speaking of Mary Worth
Where, oh, where will she find a second opinion? More like “Where will I find a white doctor?” Uhh, how about some of the doctors he was supposed to be working with in Vietnam? I guess this just proves that was all a sham.
“The antibiotics do nothing. He has ARG — Antibiotic Resistant Gonorrhea. We see a lot of this among sex tourists. Now kindly leave, we have children dying here from your poison you spray during war.”
January 30th, 2007 at 8:48 am
ATTENTION, EARTHERS! CHENNUX HERE WITH HIS MORNING CUP OF DRASTICALLY CAFFINATED CLOGURNTZ! FALL DOWN AND SHIVER WITH ANTICI…
PATION!
MY DEMANDS OF THE LAST SOLAR TIME PERIOD WERE NOT OBEYED! THEREFORE, I HAVE DISABLED COMIC-BASED SERVERS EVERYWHERE! WAKE UP TO COMIC WITHDRAWAL, PITIABLE HUMANS! HAHA!
BECAUSE CHENNUX GETS HIS COMICS PRINTED ON MASTICATED TREE FIBER, HE CAN COMMENT ON THE FOLLOWING:
FOOB: WHAT IS THIS, SOME SORT OF SURVIVOR: ONTARIO? OR BIG BROTHER? WHAT IS THE 800-NUMBER TO CALL TO GET SOMEONE BOOTED FROM THE HOUSE? WHAT ABOUT EXECUTED? SLOWLY?
JUDGE PARKER: WHENEVER A WIZENED WOMAN WITH BRAIN CANCER SAYS THAT SOMEONE ‘WILL BE VERY WELL TAKEN CARE OF,†THAT PERSON SHOULD BOARD THE NEXT SPICE FREIGHTER TO SALUDA SECUNDUS! AT LEAST THERE, HE HAS A FIGHTING CHANCE!
REX MORGAN: JUNE SAYS TO MAY “DON’T WORRY ABOUT NIKI! HE AND HIS SWEET YOUNG HARVESTABLE ORGANS WILL BE FINE IN MY FRESHLY PAINTED BASEMENT FRIDGE!â€
GROVEL FOR A WHILE MORE, COMIC-LESS WEAKLINGS! IT PLEASES CHENNUX TO THINK THAT SOME OF YOU WILL ACTUALLY HAVE TO WORK FOR A LIVING THIS MORNING!
END TRANSMISSION!
January 30th, 2007 at 8:48 am
OK, because I get it in the paper, I’ll read Mary Worth, because . . . you can’t.
Jeff died.
Just teasing. Mary meddles with the doctor, then decides she needs a “second opinion,” other than her own, one presumes. But doesn’t know who to ask! Christ, Mary! Ask the guy standing next to you! It’s worked every other time since you landed.
January 30th, 2007 at 8:51 am
Forget Luann, Greg Evans did better work on BJ and the Bear.
January 30th, 2007 at 8:59 am
In today’s Marmaduke, the joke is that the dog is big and muddy, thus doubling the laugh quotient from zero to, uh, zero.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:00 am
Let it be known that I loathe Diesel Sweeties.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:01 am
#26 gh – ASCAP called. They’re sending your Pez to me. Did you want the blue on or the pink one? Poteet has dibs on the scotch-flavored one…
I do have to agree with the incisiveness of you MW observation. As fas as I can tell, she’s talked with exactly four people since landing in a country of 60 million, all of whom lead her in a DIRECT LINE to Jeff. Why JP’s Cedric wasn’t standing at baggage claim with a sign saying WORTH is beyond me. At least he speaks French, the original language of Imperial Viet Nam.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:01 am
Doonesbury: Wow, that one isn’t political! I don’t read Doonesbury because if I want to be bombarded with political opinions, I’d watch some talking heads on TV or read the editorial cartoons. Also everyone in Doonesbury looks like the illegitimate child of Jughead Jones from Archie.
Diesel Sweeties: So this was a webcomic? I hate web comics. 90% of them seem to focus on sci fi, anime, or video games. While I enjoy an occasional sci fi movie or video game (hate anime though), this doesn’t seem to be great fodder for humor to me. At least not in EVERY strip. How many jokes can you do about the X-box 360? I also hate how they use graphics from video games instead of actual drawings. The web comics that aren’t super super geeky are always so dark and so cynical that they border on offensive.
However robots are not evil, at least not all of them! Tom Servo and Crow and MST3K aren’t evil. I think Josh just stole their routine and applied to comic strips instead of B-movies.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:02 am
#24 Krazy Kat
Beat me to the draw!
January 30th, 2007 at 9:05 am
Without my morning dose of soul crushing banality (no thinks to King syndicates), my spirit has soared to new heights. I may even get something accomplished before lunch.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:07 am
FBOFW-Did April really say “Holy boxes!”, like she’s Burt Ward playing Robin or something? Sorry, April, but jacking Robin’s catchphrase doesn’t make you as cool as he is. He got to ride in a sweet car, meet with the Police Commissioner, fight bad guys dressed like clowns and penguins, and wore a cape. All April does is whine, get insulted by Rebecca, play guitar in a band with a really stupid name, bug her big sister, and get waited on hand-and-foot by her overbearing mother. Today’s installment of FBOFW just added another entry to the long, long list of reasons April needs to be smacked around.
Plus, who says “dispossessed” in day-to-day conversation? Only a nosebleed like Mike Patterson, that’s who. By the way, did this guy ever get reamed out for running into a burning building to get his laptop? A strip depicting Deanna kicking Michael to the curb followed by a fireman siccing his dalmatian on him was sorely needed to balance the cosmic scales of justice.
#7-My musings about Robin brought up another evil clown for your list…THE JOKER!
#3-You are so right! The only comic strip woman that gets to have a happy marriage with a decent guy is the mom from “PreTeena”. Every other strip mirrors such “awesome” prime time TV fare such as “King of Queens”, “The World According to Jim”, and “Everybody Loves Raymond”. Hahahaha! Slovenly, moronic men married to sassy, beautiful women is COMEDY GOLD, BABY! Hahahaha!
Doonesbury-So true that Gary Trudeau could teach ol’ Lynn a thing or two about real-time aging characters and having them grow and stay interesting. Trudeau’s characters grow and change, sometimes in very unexpected ways. Johnson’s characters lurch towards their destinies with all the unexpectedness of a telegraphed punch from an amateur boxer. And he draws better, too! Does anyone know if Trudeau still draws and writes the strip by himself, or is he like Johnson and Jim Davis and has a staff of 199 people in a Cambodian sweatshop churning it out while he drinks martinis and plays golf? Given the longlived quality of the strip, I’m willing to bet he’s still doing it all himself.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:08 am
Y’all, I’m telling you Dr. Jeff Cory has Captain Trips. It’s over for our kind.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:10 am
#35 reference to my favorite book! I’m impressed.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:12 am
#33 DREWBOB – SEE? MY EVIL PLAN IS WORKING! HAHA!
END TRANSMISSION!
January 30th, 2007 at 9:13 am
#25-the reference to “Salusa Secundus” make me laugh out loud! Between that and the “Sardaukar Terror Troop” reference a while back, this place is slowly becoming a Frank Herbert shrine!
January 30th, 2007 at 9:15 am
This *would* happen on the day Al Scaduto’s supposed to use my suggestion…
January 30th, 2007 at 9:16 am
Just as Mary prepares to meddle as she has never meddled before, the whole comics universe explodes! Is there a connection?
January 30th, 2007 at 9:20 am
#36 My favorite book too! The first time I read it, I developed a cold about a third of the way through and became extremely paranoid.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:20 am
I have sadder news for you, Luann. You’re marrying Bernice, who has actually been Gunther in drag all along.
That robot isn’t the only robot in Diesel Sweeties. I never followed the strip so I dunno its name, but there’s a *really* evil robot who is red and square and lives in a house made of people bacon. Somehow I doubt he will appear in papers much.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:22 am
Was that a typo in today’s Non-Sequitor? It isn’t like Wiley to downplay such corporate villiany, but Nardelli’s contract gets him $210 million, not $120 million.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:23 am
#30 willethompson
You pick first. Last one up gets dibs. (Poteet has a permanent lock on the “special” ones, of course.)
It’s already been pointed out that “frond/pond” was a classic line. One for the ages. What the hell, you can have all the Pez (this time). Don’t overdo it though.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:24 am
#28 – I guess big funny muddy dog does not know that you cannot divide by zero. Haha.
#40 – the internet goes kaflooey due to the fact that Mary is about to mount Jeff in his hospital bed. Ugh.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:25 am
4. He found it HARD to draw a wheelchair? Berke Breathed ran into a similar situation with Cutter John and pretty much dropped him until someone in a wheelchair said something to the effect of “Imagine being in the wheelchair”. G*d d@mmit anyway…
Maybe Evans can make it up to me by drawing Luann prancing around in a string bikini a little more often. Maybe.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:25 am
Ben’s gonna die.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:26 am
I haven’t been following Luann, so I have no idea what’s going on in those three panels. Why’s that guy from the Subway commercials in it? Why’s he suggesting pizza, instead of sandwiches?
January 30th, 2007 at 9:29 am
I like Doonesbury. I like it a lot. The B.D. storyline has been fantastic.
That said, I HATE ALEX DOONESBURY WITH THE SEARING HEAT OF A MILLION BURNING KIMCHI FARTS.
I hate her stupid hair. I hate that she looks like her dad with boobs. I hate her snide, whining sense of entitlement. I don’t need to open up my morning comics – the only part of the paper I can face before chugging a pot of coffee – and have my mediocrity shoved in my face by some effortlessly brilliant dreadlocked dork. I want flaws, dammit.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:30 am
#42 Rhekarid -
That’s “Red Robot.” We don’t talk about Red Robot, ‘kay?
#7 wille -
Has there ever been a convincing robot/clown duel or cage match? First, because that would be totally awesome! And second, because it would settle this “who is more evil” question once and for all.
My money’s on the robot, because robots cheat.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:30 am
P.S. The Washington Post also has a pretty comprehensive online comics page
January 30th, 2007 at 9:30 am
#27–Squawk, surely you mean Greg Evigan? His work on My Two Dads was outstanding.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:32 am
34. Mike Patterson actually did get reamed out by Mrs. Mike, but i’m not sure it counts as it was related in Deanna’s monthly letter in the FOOB website. From what I can tell, she really let him have it too. I mention this because I keep checking it for February’s letter from Lizard Breath. It should be like watching a car wreck. I’m a bad man.
Oh, about Luann…I sort of assumed she was eighteen by now. I turned eighteen midway through my senior year, so…
January 30th, 2007 at 9:33 am
Regarding the phrase “kinda unique” –
Before one gets all nitpicky about it, one should probably take a moment to realize that literally everything is unique if one looks at it in fine enough detail. (Except perhaps the atoms and subatomic particles that make up these objects)
In short, therefore the word itself becomes ultimately useless if one takes it in the absolute sense, ergo, it only really becomes meaningful in a relative sense. (As paradoxical as the relative sense might appear at first glance)
So the bottom line here is, we either allow for phrases like “kinda unique” or abolish the word “unique” from the language altogether, because frankly, a word that describes literally everything doesn’t really serve much of a function.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:34 am
I don’t know a thing about comic strip lettering, but I find it odd that panel three of Doonesbury fit a boatload of words in just fine, but in panel one, “about” had to be hyphenated to the next line. Odd.
Speaking of long-term character development, Trudeau symbolizing menarche by changing the way Alex’s eyes were drawn was well played.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:39 am
38- As it should be.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:46 am
“Effortlessly” brilliant? When the poor kid’s been up all night and her stupid robot doesn’t even work? When she’s been completely traumatized by MIT, to the point of curling up in a little ball in her bed (though not, thank god, clutching a stuffed rabbit)?
What can I say, Alex kinda resonates with me…
January 30th, 2007 at 9:47 am
#50 UL – I imagine a big NCAA-style bracket. Bozo goes down early to mid-major Clarabell! Steven King’s IT (the Duke of Clowns) takes The Joker to a double-overtime semi-final. Eventual victor: Ronald McDonald, who ‘coincidentally’ holds naming rights to the arena.
On the robot side of the bracket, the gay robot from Lost in Space waves his arms about lisping ‘Danger, Will Robinson!” as he’s eviscerated by the blue Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em. Bender does indeed cheat his way into the finals, but Gigantor reduces him to tiny BenderBits.
So it comes down to Ronald vs Gigantor. The clown stands ready with pockets full of trans-fats, cholesterol and gum-based frozen beverages. Three seconds later, Ronald discovers that ‘Bigger than Big! Stronger than Strong!” is the first advertising tag line to live up to its promise. There’s not enough clown left to put together a Quarter-Pounder with Gore.
I didn’t say that robots weren’t scary – just not that evil. That is the province of the clown.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:47 am
Eeee, didn’t know Diesel Sweeties was in print now. Not that my local paper will pick it up, it has Mary worth and Mallard Fillmore and Pluggers and They’ll Do It Every Time. Hurray for internets!
Also, I hate Alex from Doonesbury and the fact that she has boobs but also a ‘I’m Four and I Dress Myself’ hairstyle’ really freaks me out.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:49 am
# 54 – sounds like the phrase “Mutually Exclusive.”
Say Wha? Sounds like something Mike Fooberson would write.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:53 am
Jeez, I guess it’s been a really, really long time since I paid much attention to Doonesbury, because I still remember Alex as being about twelve. How old is she supposed to be now?
January 30th, 2007 at 9:58 am
It’s not fair that we do not get to see Mike Patterson publicly told off. Not everyone goes online, most people get their FOOB fixes in the paper. And if anyone needed to be taken to the woodshed for endangering his family’s future, it was Mikey-Boy. But Lynn’s probably not going to go into that (what? and tarnish the halo on his superior gifted head?) so readers will just continue to graze and chew their cud and think it’s reasonable for a man to value things over his wife and children.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:06 am
#45 a quotient is the end result of a division problem, not what you are dividing by (that’s the denominator; Marmaduke’s “laugh denominator” is infinity). Marmaduke’s usual laugh quotient is big dog = zero laughs/day. Doubling that by making the dog big and muddy yields 2 x 0 = zero laughs/day. QED.
More info about quotients can be found on the internet.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:16 am
Their comic section may be down, but the lifestyle section has a long, fawning story about Lynn Johnston (http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/life/4509228.html). Nowhere in the story does it mention how much her strip sucks ass.
#34 – Who says “dispossessed” in a conversation? Well, I guarantee you that Chinbeard would.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:16 am
OK, does anybody have access to both today’s paper and a scanner? If you scan MW, JP, MT, A3G, RMMD, and FW, and mail them to me at uncle.lumpy@yahoo.com, I’ll clean the images and post ‘em up. Hi-res B&W settings, please; I’ll compress on this end.
#25 Chennux? Make yourself useful, dude!
January 30th, 2007 at 10:16 am
#14 and anyone else who noticed, yeah, I meant 9 Chickweed Lane. See how easy it is to mix that up?
January 30th, 2007 at 10:18 am
#52, Yes, I was conflating Greg Evigan and Greg Evans on purpose. It was a joke — something you rarely see in Luann.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:20 am
Uncle Lumpy
I can get you MW and FW. No guarantee on quality.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:21 am
#68 gh -
Comics Curmudgeon submotto: “Quality is not the issue!
January 30th, 2007 at 10:23 am
OK, faithful reader gh has stepped into the breach with MW and FW – hot B&W hospital action on two continents is on the way!
Who can get me MT? JP? A3G? RMMD?
January 30th, 2007 at 10:24 am
Luann – Yeah, well, Bernice, I wouldn’t get to attached to your new brother. He might get all Funky Winkerbean on your ass, tell you he needs one of your kidneys, and then get shipped back to the front after the transplant operation. Where he’ll get killed in action. Except this isn’t Funky Winkerbean, so probably not.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:26 am
#68 – I NEVER thought I’d see the day when “Mary Worth” and “Bootleg” might be used or suggested in the same post.
Please post, post! I have to know what mental pressure/brainwashing technique she is using on poor’ ol Jeff today.
Meanwhile, Ella has become Biddy Queen Extrordinaire at Charterstone, and moved into Mary’s apartment, which has a better view for meddling.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:27 am
my paper sucks big time. The lamest comics in the history of ever are featured in the Sunday paper, and it carries over to the dailies.
I have to get my JP, MT, MW, & RMMD fix here. And this is certainly the only place around for (DT)GT, which is a questionable achievement I suppose.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:33 am
JP and RMMD on the way in photoshop quality scans, 72 line, gif for fast upload, stories still lame, tho… photoshop doesn’t have a filter to fix that.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:33 am
Curtis: Is Curtis in reruns? They’s already done the lame “Curtis sabotages his lunch” story before, so why hint about it like we have to figure out the plot? I bet Derrick and “Onion” would hate a golden telepathic otter meat sandwich!
Monty: For the most part I’ve soured on this strip since they booted Robotman a few years ago, but today this is pretty funny.
Doonesbury: Alex’s boobs shrunk every single panel. Now I hate her, surprisingly.
Dinette Set: Having “Play Spin the Bottle” on the to-do list is the most disturbing thing ever.
JP: Judge Parker in Paris = Mary Worth in Vietnam. They’ll spend the whole time in a room discussing death.
Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee: This strip took less than a month to become the one strip in my local paper that I hate the most. And the paper has Crock and B.C.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:34 am
The robot has articulated eyebrows, can use contractions (unlike Data from StarTrek), yet was unable to get a set of semi-normal looking hands! Klaatu barada nikto, man.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:35 am
(DT)GT “But then she backslides like a class clown.”
Buh? Do class clowns have some sort of 12 step program or something?
January 30th, 2007 at 10:37 am
ATTENTION EARTHERS! I LAUGH AT YOUR ATTEMPTS TO GET YOUR COMIC FIX!
YOU HAVE PICKED A BAD DAY TO TO SUBVERT THE WILL OF CHENNUX! THE ONES CALLED GH AND WILLETHOMPSON ARE TARGETED FOR DESTRUCTION! I WILL INSTALL BUGGY VERSIONS OF MICROSOFT VISTA ON THEIR COMPUTERS! THAT’LL LEARN THEM!
END TRANSMISSION!
January 30th, 2007 at 10:38 am
#58 Even though hes been dead awhile John Wayne Gacy should be in the Clown tournament…I feel like sending an idea to Scaduto…even though I’ve been terrified of Clowns
since childhood…I really LOVE Insane Clown Posse….”GO FIGURE!”
January 30th, 2007 at 10:38 am
You know, you have to be pretty die-hard liberal-hating (or liberal obsessed) to dislike Doonesbury. Regardless of political tack, it is easily the smartest and most mature strip in the “funnies.”
You can’t compare Doonesbury to any other political strips. It rarely breaks itself down to “left” and “right” (compared to the broad generalities of Prickly City or Mallard Fillmore.)
While there is a liberal lean, no question (the fact Trudeau went to school with Bush Jr. certainly factors into his now-majority-shared contempt) the strip — not unlike the Daily Show — points it’s satire in all directions. (Clinton was depicted as a waffle, then a pair of underwear for years. Heck, even in its first Yale-only years, the strip mocked John Kerry.)
But what makes it unique (very unique, not kinda unique) is how easily it glides into non-political storylines. The B.D. storyline is likely the only place in most newspapers you’ll ever see the troubles of wounded vets discussed. Doonesbury was much louded during the first Gulf War, I think the progression that BD is going through is one of the most powerful in daily comics history.
There’s no complaining over the war. The vets are getting help in the strip, and have never had to deal with some of the obstacles that make the care of vets such a political hot potato. The troubles of the vets are shown in a respectful, honest light that humanizes a situtation that the politicians and rest of the media go out of their way to ignore.
And I don’t mind the Alex storylines, it’s nice to see a young female (or male charactor) in the comics have a motivation for something other than chaste dating. That her pursuits are academic is even better. What college freshman isn’t annoying, anyway?
Anyway, I’m glad to see new comics mentioned here. Though I love the FOOB-angst and recurring complaints about MW and so… it’s nice to see some variety in the curmudgeon eco-system.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:43 am
Luann, I’ve got sad, sad news for you. You’re marrying Gunther.
Gunther is overjoyed to hear this, especially once he realizes that by _marrying_ a princess, he himself will also become a princess. Heavenly!
January 30th, 2007 at 10:46 am
Today’s “Cathy” seems to be about bulimia. While this strip usually make me want to vomit, the subject is not funnny. As such it should be best left to Funky.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Archie To my everlasting surprise, I liked today’s Archie. I’m not sure why, it just amused me, like knowing my wizened old grandma is a Metalocalypse fan.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:50 am
Uncle Lumpy broke the internet – again!
January 30th, 2007 at 10:53 am
Doing some quick math, which I’ll probably screw up anyway because math and I . . . not so much: If Ben enlisted right after he graduated high school (and we’re assuming he graduated in four years, making him 18) and has been fighting in Iraq ever since, the youngest he could probably be is 21. Unless Jamus the Bartender’s assumption is right and Luann is a perfectly legal 18, we’ve got ourselves some hot Amy Fisher action going on where Luann, in a jealous rage, just might shoot Bernice in the face (pleaseohpleaseohplease).
January 30th, 2007 at 10:56 am
Ummmm . . . just to clarify, the parenthetical pleaseohpleaseohplease was directed toward the shooting, not the statutory rape. In the grand tradition of the MPAA I was rooting for violence among teenagers, not sex.
I don’t know if that makes me a better or worse person.
January 30th, 2007 at 10:58 am
chron.com is back up
January 30th, 2007 at 10:59 am
# 85 insolenttomato: There are three kinds of people in the world — those who get math, and those who don’t.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:02 am
#88 Axel Fusco: You forgot your {rimshot}. It’s okay, seeing as how I’m stealing that line, I’ll play you off.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:03 am
Luanne Today, Luann checks out another hapless future victim of her obsession like a feral cat checking out a rack of lamb.
Big Dog Still big. But now muddy.
Sylvia Blah blah blah blah lousy handwriting blah blah blah profile of a head blah blah blah. Yep. Same old Sylvia.
Pluggers Hyuk, hyuk. “Mah daddy always sed, if ya got a great tool, you gotta build a good shed over it.” But Pluggers don’t have that sort of tool, so abs is as close as they can get.
RMMD Get real, May. What makes you think Niki is still in one piece, and not fish chum in the harbor?
January 30th, 2007 at 11:04 am
I think we should have the snore of the century double wedding event – Lunther and Lizthony.
And then a wild swap party. Luthony and Lizther. Or perhaps Granthur and Lizann.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:05 am
A3G Oh, SNAP!
January 30th, 2007 at 11:05 am
I thought there were 10 kinds of people; those who understood binary and those who don’t.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:08 am
willie thompson
I see that our threat to circumlocute Chennux brought him to his knees. Yaay, chron.com. The good guys win!
January 30th, 2007 at 11:08 am
Hey! I’ve *been* to Sweden, and I ain’t never seen me no robots there!
January 30th, 2007 at 11:15 am
In honor of the heavily-rouged and eyeshadowed doctor in MW…
“Death, the one appointment we all must keep, and for which no time is set.” — Charlie Chan
January 30th, 2007 at 11:15 am
DtM Folks, lemme tell the story of Dennis the Moocher…
FW a.k.a., We’re going to milk this weeper as long as possible.
MW Anyone from Charterstone could tell the doctor that Jeff is resisting the antibiotics because not resisting them would mean he’d have to go home to Mary.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:18 am
ATTENTION EARTHERS! QUAKE, RATTLE AND ROLL AT MY ANNOUNCEMENTS!
I HAVE MERCIFULLY RESTORED YOUR COMIC-BASED SERVERS! FAR TOO MUCH WORK WAS BEING DONE WHILE THEY WERE IN TIMEOUT! CHENNUX SEEKS PRODUCTIVITY ONLY IN HIS GALLIUM ARSENIDE MINES! AND HIS SLURM BOTTLING PLANT!
GO, WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS HOURS IN COMMENTING ABOUT COMICS (WHOSE AUTHORS CARE NOT IF YOU EXIST AT ALL) BEFORE MY DOOM BEFALLS YOU! HAHA!
NOW CHENNUX HUNGERS! HE WILL HAVE A BOWL OF PHO! WITH EGG NOODLES! AND TENTACLES!
END TRANSMISSION!
January 30th, 2007 at 11:24 am
JP: Now, there’s two ways we can go here. Either Cedric the Sinister Butler and Clark Kent impersonator can gigolo Neddy’s pending fortune away from her, or he’s actually a hitman and will “take care of Roger,†as Rachel promises will happen. Maybe both.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:25 am
#74 wille – I recommend the Dowager plug-in for JP.
MT – Heavy handed beaver irony – to think I waited half the morning to see this.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:25 am
#63 and #85 – hoo would’ve thunk it, that you kin lurn the math by lookin’ at th’ funnies (or depressies) on the internets!
Division was never a big score for me. Haha!
January 30th, 2007 at 11:26 am
FOOB: Someone pointed out last week that April was the only FOOB character with any kind of personality. I think that’s because she’s the only character NOT based on a Johnston; she actually is multi-dimensional.
I also wondered why the Pattersaints are just hanging around Gramma’s house not doing anything to salvage their crap. “Wahhh, this is all the firemen could salvage! Wahhh, all our pretty pretty possessions!” They were renting, and probably didn’t have renter’s insurance, so in the real world, they’d have been on their own. If Mikey weren’t such a damn weenie maybe he’d get out there and scrub some black crud off his furnishings himself. Jeez, even the Habitat for Humanity folks are expected to help build and pay for their houses. Why can’t these two get off their wide Patterson asses and pitch in? Last I heard, it was a fireman’s job to extinguish the flames, not refurbish their junk.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:41 am
#6, Dingo — I disagree. Sure you can be “kind of unique” (or “very unique”). For one thing, you can be unique along more or fewer dimensions (e.g., a 20 ton hot pink pillow chair shaped like a spider is definitely unique along more axes than many things that still qualify as unique in some way). For another thing, you could be somewhat similar to a very small set of items along some dimension, but still be “kinda unique” (or in “kinda a unique situation”, as I believe the original quote was). A knitted iPod cozy in the shape of Cthulu might be “kind of unique” if a few people have made such things, but if they’ve all used different patterns, for instance. It’s still a reasonably unusual idea.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:46 am
Doc: Jeff is not responding to antibiotics.
Mary: I want a second opinion
Doc: Ok, you smell like grandma.
Sigh. Sometimes they just write themselves.
#78 (GEC) I WILL INSTALL BUGGY VERSIONS OF MICROSOFT VISTA ON THEIR COMPUTERS!
You mean there’s a non-buggy version available? (HI-OOOOOO!)
I have a Roomba, but I keep an eye on it, and unplug it at night.
Heh, heh. Did you know there’s even a Roomba Scheduler with Intelli-Bin? Check it out, puny human …if you dare.
PS: I think Ben only came back from Iraq due to his prior engagement as a speechwriter for the Bartlet administration.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:50 am
Oh, Rhekarid, per your suggestion of yesterday re:Mark
Trail and the beavers… and Squid Countess, turn away.This is not for you…
January 30th, 2007 at 11:53 am
A mathematical analysis of humor in comics (motivated by 45, 63) with applications for Marmaduke
Let us define the laugh quotient (LQ) of a strip as (cumulative number of laughs)/(days strip has appeared). Measuring laughs in scientific units (where 1 laugh = 100 wattersons), a strip that provides one laugh/day would achieve an LQ of 100 (100 wattersons/day).
Let us assert that Marmaduke has provided 300 wattersons during its entire lifetime:
1) Look how big that dog is, with its corollary wattersons:
a) and look how little the other dog is
b) and look how he’s scaring the pizza man/plumber/cable guy
2) Look what he’s done with his bone!
a) Example 1
b) Example 2
3) Look! The dogcatcher is giving the big dog a ride home!
Marmaduke’s LQ is thus 300/N, where N is the number of days the strip has appeared. Clearly as N increases ad infinitum (or ad nauseum), Marmaduke’s LQ approaches zero, but never actually equals zero.
Kilgore’s conjectures:
1) The theoretical maximum for the LQ is 100.
2) No strip has ever achieved an LQ of 100.
Fermat’s Last Theorem stood for 100 years…
January 30th, 2007 at 11:54 am
“He’s no longer contagious” and “the antibiotics aren’t working” seem like mutually exclusive medical concepts. I think Mary Worth is right to seek a second opinion. Could “the storms” and “I’m drowning” be related to the full bed pan Doc Jeff has next to his sick bed?
January 30th, 2007 at 11:57 am
Sergeant York. Bernice’s brother is Sergeant York. Greg Evans is officially using only cliches when naming characters who happen to be in the military. I can’t wait to meet York’s best friend, John Rambo, Jr.
So, while Evans is timid when it comes to names, I’m pretty sure Sgt. York is half-black, which is a pretty bold thing to throw in.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Poor Theordore and Castoria *sniff*. Luckily that is a depraved alternate universe.
In the “real world” these innocent woodland creatures will live a long, happy and productive life. Their children and their children’s children will recount the saga of how they saved Lost Forest during the long winters in the ancestral lodge.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
I have a truly marvelous proof of Kilgore’s proposition which this margin is too narrow to contain.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Looks like Funky Winkerbean is finally getting some good news, with Lisa going into remission. Of course, this is all just a lead into her being hit by a bus when, in shock from the good news, she wanders dazed into the street. Len will collapse to his knees, sobbing in horror. Across town, little Summer’s babysitter will be passed out on the couch. Summer will peer curiously around. With her parent’s distracted (or smooshed) by tragedy, no one will be around to save Summer from the gas leak that has already claimed the life of her sitter. When Len realizes that his daughter has been claimed on the same day as his wife and that all of it could have been prevented if Lisa’s cancer HADN’T gone into remission, he’ll hang himself. This will result in the Funky hat-trick – three deaths, an entire family wiped out, and enough gloom to sustain the strip for at least a month.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Tuesday’s Sacramento Bee had a bunch of Wednesday’s comics! Unfortunately I have to announce that not only does Mike Patterson receive a book deal, he get a $10k advance for the drivel.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
#80: Agreed on the Doonesbury disabled vets story arc. It touches on the seriousness of the situation without being as maudlin as FW.
I had never heard of Diesel Sweeties until I saw it on this blog. Had I not known it was a comic, I’d have thought it was a dating site for butch lesbians.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Uncle Lumpy, robots can be your friends!
I agree with #7, willethompson, clowns are evil. Though maybe that’s my coulrophobia speaking.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Re “unique”: In New York, eunuchs use unix uniquely.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
#80: It wouldn’t surprise me if both Trudeau’s mocking of Dubya and Kerry are more personal vendetta than anything, based on the forementioned Yale connection.
Ol’ G.B. does wallow in his conspiracy theories, though. Not just the evil-Bush-in-Iraq stuff the entire left is wallowing in, but a whole decade ago. I’m no fan of Quayle by any means, but a drug runner? Please, Gary!
I think the BD storyline is excellent, though. You don’t have to be an Iraq war opponent to appreciate these (I fall into the in-retrospect-I-wouldn’t've-sent-them-there camp, myself; key phrase being “in retrospect”), really – though the total-victory-maybe-there’s-still-WMDs clique may disagree with me.
Prickly city I’d say is a conservative Danae & Lucy with just a sprinkling of Mallard (intent to be The Conservative Strip instead of a satirist that happens to be on the right)
January 30th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
#80 Lettuce:
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your spirited and thoughtful appreciation of Doonesbury. I have long felt that Garry Trudeau is in fact a great novelist in the nineteenth-century tradition (Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Dickens, though usually less gloomy): the way he even-handedly deals with social and political realities along with the dailiness of life. Just read one of the earlier large collections straight through; it is like reading a good novel with a large cast of believable characters.
And he’s kept this up with (IMHO) no fall-off in quality since the early seventies!!!!
January 30th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
#102 Herro! – Testify! I’ve been wondering myself why Mike & Deanna aren’t salvaging their own damn stuff. And today Mike announces that they haven’t found anything as nice as their old place – what, you mean that dump where you had to build the front porch yourself, and the toilet didn’t work properly (though that was your spawn’s fault), and you hated the downstairs neighbors? Yeah, you’ll never find anyplace that nice again. To borrow a phrase from our friendly neighbours to the north: this comic is ass.
#104 SPOI – I almost busted a kidney laughing at “Ok, you smell like grandma.” I’d actually like to see that strip, right in my own paper! (Or on a t-shirt! Josh, are you out there?)
January 30th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
#4 — I haven’t read Luann in decades, except on this site, but I thought way back when that Aaron Hill was gay. Did he ever actually come out?
#60 — “kinda unique” is technically wrong, notwithstanding the potent argument for its use, but “mutually exclusive” is not wrong. Two concepts are mutually exclusive when either could be true but only one at a time, not both.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
62. Oh, I agree one hundred and ten percent Fable. I mean, it’s not like Terry And The Pirates, The Gumps, and Harold Teen had nice shiny websites on the internets to help fill in the blanks during their respective runs.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Luann will never marry Gunther because Luann will never age beyond high school. Blechhhhhhhh.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Just saw today’s comix that were previously embargoed by Chennux, and I must say, the Mark Trail story ended very abruptly considering the long buildup involving traps, translocation, and beaver-hate.
The only comic that made me LOL today was: Crankshaft! Check it out!
January 30th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Yay, Daily Ink is back up.
Why do DTM and FC always have to attempt to make the most mundane items funny, AND on the same day? Cookies and Milk-yippee. That’s Liz “Les Miserables” Patterson’s territory now, ya know!
Blondie- “and under your chin will earn you the bacon.” I really really do not want to delve into this odd pun any further.
MT – check out the axe murder in panel one! Will we have another Forest Done Gone mystery, with Kelly the idiot “photographer” screwing everything up?
January 30th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Hit with a baseball bat? Only if that baseball bat is hitting their upper colon.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Fear of robots… hmmmm…… Is “Uncle Lumpy” the username for Sam Waterston?
(hint:SNL)
January 30th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
(DT)GT: Backsliding like a class clown! WTF? That’s odd since Lisa Wyche’s mom attends games with her own personal Tibetan monk and sherpa!
I’m not scared of clowns as much as wary of them. What scares the bejeezus (no pun intended) outta me are angels. I hate ‘em. A woman I used to work with once gave me one for my desk because I helped her with something. I had to toss it.
Angel pins, angel notepaper, angel calendars. When will it stop? Blah blah, they have a rich history in religion and art. They’re not real, so quit scaring me and stop putting them on stuff.
ahem. Rant over.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
#41: jules says: “#36 My favorite book too! The first time I read it, I developed a cold about a third of the way through and became extremely paranoid.”
Stephen King is suddenly all over the funnies pages–Apartment 3-G is basing a storyline on The Tommieknockers . . .
#58: Knock yourself ou– er, Have fun:
http://www.ericjoyner.com/
January 30th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
#127 {rimshot}! :)
January 30th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
#122 Old Fogeyette
MT: Abrupt, yes. But how delicious tomorrow when Dick “I’m the Decider†Morgan gets his comeuppance. Not since The Magnificent Ambersons has there been such a fall from power, as Theodore and Castoria take possession of the farm and he is left chinking the lodge with his bare hands, slapping on fetid pond mud in a desperate attempt keep the cold Northern gales from whistling through the cracks. Hah! Take that, Dick Morgan!
January 30th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Don’t worry! You’ll fall in love with Diesel Sweeties in time, just like the rest of us who thought it was a cute, okayish strip when we first started reading, but who now cherish it.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
A3G – I thought what is basically the same insult came across better a little over a week ago when it was more-subtly worked into the second panel instead of trying to be the punchline to the strip.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Today’s Stone Soup contains a subtle shout-out to Beetle Bailey. The red-headed woman (can’t remember her name) in the first panel looks like she’s grown a large buck tooth a la Sgt. Snorkel. Either that or her policeman friend is squeezing her so hard that she’s foaming at the mouth.
January 30th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Way back to #24: Exactly re: Mary Worth. “This calls for a second opinion, but where can I find a white doctor at this hour?”
January 30th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
85. Either way there’s gonna be some hair pulling a’la Luann and Bernice. Make of that what you will…
January 30th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
#117: Doonesbury as epic, classic novel, I agree. Not so much on the “evenhanded” though (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though I prefer the ’70s and ’80s in that respect). Oh, sure, compared to Mallard, the talking points with feathers! But it’s more the liberal-left strip countinuing the grand tradition of mocking your own side once and a while, and whoever’s in power, whether it be Ronald Reagan or Bill Clinton.
Consequently to the main thesis of #117, I’d unironically call Bloom County (but not its sequels) a great absurdist novel. The storytelling is really why the first Breathed strip is head and shoulders above the others.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
TDIE: How appropriate is it that on “Technology Tuesday” Scaduto pines for the golden days of old cash registers, and only white people shopping in your store. Well, both stores only have white people in them. Maybe Scaduto hasn’t accepted that change in culture yet?
January 30th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Um…correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Diesel Sweeties feature constant sex jokes, sex with robots, bisexuals, bisexuals who have sex with robots, bisexual robots, murderous (albeit straight) robots, and “L-sheets” galore? It doesn’t really seem suited to the comics page. At all.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
137, Brendan — Hmm, why aren’t bisexuals suited for the comics page?
January 30th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
FBOFW – Nobody ever wears shoes indoors. Not even slippers. Just schlepping around in their sweat-socks. It adds to the wintery cabin fever-esque feeling of this strip. I bet they have the TV on all the time, too. Even when nobody is watching it.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
#126: Angels? Really? Admittedly, they can be over-exploited as per your examples, but I’m not sure how obstensibly fantasy-oriented icons are inherently scary.
Except the angel of death. Now, that dude is frightening!
And why does he look like Tom Batiuk??
January 30th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
The scariest thing about Alex is that she appears to be the love child of Mike Doonesbury and Zonker Harris. Seriously, put Zonker’s hair on Mike’s face, and that’s pretty much her.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
“And then what? Won’t they take Niki away from me?”
“Don’t worry, May — if that happens (which it probably will) we’ll just raise him as our own. Rex and I are always happy to add children without actually engaging in sexual intercourse! And we have numerous character references: Sam Driver, Mark Trail, Mr. Walt Wallet, Mr. and Mrs. Granthony Caine-Patterson…”
January 30th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I’m marveling at A3G, where Tommie’s actress pal oh-so-casually-yet-cruelly sucker punches our heroine with a reminder that she’s simply a crazy cat lady in the making.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Predicting the future of FOOBs is like shooting fish in a barrel. (If only we could shoot FOOBs in a barrel….)
January 30th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Luann: Luann is supposed to be 16, just recently old enough to get her driver’s license. She aged when the strip was redrawn a few years ago. She is much better looking than she was drawn before.
Fortunately for GI Illegitimo, 16 is the age of consent in several US states, such as Massachusetts (the home of the Kennedys), so he can have at it if he wishes.
FBoFW: Perhaps most on this board are not aware of Fire Recovery companies. These take care of retrieving all items in fire-damaged dwellings and cleaning them for return to the owners, and are all paid for by insurance. It is very common. The Foobs would not be required to scrub their belongings themselves, as some have suggested.
But the bigger question is, why are they even looking at apartments? Mike is supposedly the Editor-In-Chief of some big glossy interview magazine like Vanity Savoir-Faire of Canada. Certainly that job should pay enough that they should be looking at buying a nice spread in suburban Toronto. I looked at a Toronto real estate website and houses nicer than his parents are extremely affordable. I’m sure Gordo could even front them a low-interest down payment if necessary.
But that would interfere with the ultimate plan, wouldn’t it? Mike, Deanna and the kids move into the parents’ house, leaving Dental Trainman and Retired Bookshoplady to one of those little houses in the neighborhood that are “more their size.” Leading to a stasis next fall that will be interminable.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
#40: “Maybe Evans can make it up to me by drawing Luann prancing around in a string bikini a little more often. Maybe.”
A few years ago, the Onion did a small piece about the doodles in Greg Evan’s notebook, which it revealed to be pictures of Tiffany bending over with her skirt hiked up, saying “Oh Gre-egg!”
I’m convinced Evans has a collection of drawings of Luann, Tiffany, and the rest in various stages of undress/ lovemaking.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
i know the slave monkeys at the mary worth factory are an easy target, but through their unique talents, i now realise that all vietnamese people, regardless of sex or age, have sideburns. apparently. i never noticed that.
and further re clowns and clowns and robots.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
#136: smacky says: “TDIE[T]: How appropriate is it that on ‘Technology Tuesday’ Scaduto pines for the golden days of old cash registers, and only white people shopping in your store. Well, both stores only have white people in them. Maybe Scaduto hasn’t accepted that change in culture yet?”
Whyizzit??!
Smacky carps and kvetches about the lack of diversity in his least favorite comic strip –
“Three background figures and they’re all white! What a racist! Might as well go back to the days of slavery! Reactionary supremicist . . . etc. etc. Blah blah blah . . .”
But when the cartoonist does include ethnic characters, do Smack-o’s eyes light up with the glow of human understanding? Let’s listen:
“Ethnic stereotyping! Profiling! Outmoded images! Days of “the yellow peril” . . . Level of Amos ‘n’ Andy . . .”
o===> Self bestowed wings and halo
They’ll do it every time! O-o-o-oh yeah!
January 30th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
MW: If I encountered a doctor who told me that “my body” was “resisting” antibiotics, indeed, I would want a second opinion.
Apparently doctors in Viet Nam don’t know about Pasteur’s germ theory.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
#21 for COTW!!!!
January 30th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Finally-available online strips:
JP: He’ll already be well taken care of? That could either mean he inherits plenty other stuff, or it means that if he complains about the girls getting more, he’ll be “taken care of” by getting a residence at the bottom of the ocean.
RMMD: Thanks to June, there, what makes you think Elvis hasn’t taken Niki away from you – permanently?
January 30th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
#139 — Applegirl — after spending a year in New England I can report that up north, everyone does in fact spend all winter walking around the house in their very warm socks. For approximately nine months of the year you have to take your shoes off the minute you step over the threshold because they are covered with (1) snow, (2) slush, or (3) mud.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
FBOFW: Man, I was trying to avoid writing on this, but after reading everyone else: “Dispossessed”? I thought they just lost some items in a fire that burned their rental unit they lived in for, like, what two years? That is so NOT the right term to use for Michael-middle-class-author. He and Deanna have jobs and all the chances in the world to get up off their complaining ass and rent another place after staying with Ma and Pa Kettle for a few months.
How numb is Lynn to reality? Is she trying to convince us the Patterson’s are now a “plight” at the level of words like “dispossession”? Get a life! After all that time having done some kind of ’sensitive’ storyline to those Northern Canadians who Liz then ditched, the ones who may actually have some IDEA of what the word more often relates to, like peoples, nations, and so on, Lynn just brings everything back to the Elly-Liz-Michael world, from Mitwickywacky to me-me-me land.
Yeah, Michael, power to the people who are, you know, dispossessed like you and your wife, and widdle Mewidith and that other baby-unit.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
FBoFW: If you pay enough attention to this strip, you begin to realize that the Patterson family aren’t held to the same moral rules as the rest of us. This is why Michael’s grotesque failure as a husband, father and human being in general is transmuted into to heroism and nobility. Lynn seems to believe this collection of dreary, shortsighted, slow-witted failures is some sort of model for normal human behavior.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
146. I seem to remember that article Brendan, many thanks. It came out immediately after 9-11, and I was in a wee bit of a funk.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
152 – Hi, Sally – I know! I lived in Chicago, same thing. It just makes me feel clausterphobic and wintery, is all. I’m sure the Pattersons have the heat up too high and no ventilation as well. I can almost smell the stale, sweat-socky carpeting when I look at FBOFW. So many nice shoes and slippers could be drawn instead.
January 30th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
A brief note on evil robot clowns – the Joker had a roboclown that beat up Batman. Its name was “Captain Clown.” Eventually Batman beat it with a trash compacter.
About today’s comics…. I feel for Alex. Igneous Petrology lab makes me feel that way. Now, if only I could make my rocks talk. /gender implausible innuendo
January 30th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
mmm, Toni Daytona… speaking of whom, who’s the hottest babe in Toonland? Toni? Miss Buxley? Mary Jane Parker? Cookie Bumstead? Ella Byrd? can we conduct a poll, uncle lumpy?
January 30th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
#158 – wasn’t it fairly well established that it is meant to be jessica rabbit? could cc count as toonland, ’cause i want to vote for dingo.
January 30th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
118. So it turns out that as far as the Pattersons are concerned, Scaduto was right—they will do it every time.
January 30th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
A Plea for Originality:
From the Original zeeba:
Apparently a few days ago, an imposter was posting as “zeeba neighba.” Which is a little different from my s/n, but all the same, I’d like you all to know that wasn’t me, the original zeeba. ZN, dude, pick a NEW NAME!!!!
A Plea for Originality, part deux:
To: Greg Evans,
As Steve just pointed out, you have named your current war hero after a famous WWI hero. What, did you think we wouldn’t notice? I mean after all, you named your strip and heroine after an already existent comic strip hot blonde (LuAnn in A3G–the Kotzky years). I think you need a random name generator, or something.
January 30th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
#158 winky -
I believe there’s polling software set up in the Forum. Can somebody who knows how to use it volunteer to set up a poll?
I’ll consolidate nominations here, and add my own: Heloise Phantom Walker.
January 30th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Ahoy! thanks for the write-up. Anyone who’s on the fence about DS, there’s almost 1700 comics worth to read on my site.
http://www.dieselsweeties.com/
January 30th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Luann- Whoo-hoo! Get to “know her better”! You know them military types! The hawt, Bernice-on-Ben incest, four-eyes style is right around the corner!
January 30th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Archie – I’m really confused about the perspective in panel three. Either the chick in the booth on the left must be:
a) a Barbie
b) a midget
c) a six-year old with DD implants
Can anyone with a working knowledge of two point perspective enlighten me?
January 30th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
criminy uncle lumpy – is that phantom’s daughter or an ironing board?!
January 30th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
#161 I think you need a random name generator, or something
Like this?
I would ask for a poll for hot comic guys, but there are slim pickings out there.
January 30th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
About the polling votes: Jeez, there are 2 genders… I would recommend going away from the boys club comic geekdom direction, and open the voting to characters both male and female. Unless that is too much for half your readers to deal with, despite all the bravado in the comments (cough, cough)
And anyway, Blondie Bumstead has it hands down over any trash like Buxley
January 30th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
#167–yeah, let’s send it to Greg!!
January 30th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Sure, take Paul or Warren, either one is alot prettier than many of the female characters in comics. And who can forget Anthony….
January 30th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Make it a kind of elimination competition. Put one character against the other in voting rounds, whoever wins goes on to the next match, until finally there is no one left!
January 30th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
#161 zeeba
If my spotty archival memory serves, I think zeeba neighbor seems to believe that he/she might be your actual neighbor in, you know, real life.
Go out in the driveway and wave. If someone waves back, get a restraining order.
January 30th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
“So many nice shoes and slippers could be drawn instead.”
Grampa FOOB wears slippers all the time. Maybe only old farts wear slippers in Lynn-land?
January 30th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
The comic really annoying me this week is 9 Chickweed Lane. It’s never laugh-out-loud funny, but it’s usually at least diverting and playful. Now he’s trying to be some sort of third rate Ambrose Bierce/H L Mencken/Mark Twain/Tom Paine and somehow can’t even get it remotely right. Go read the Devil’s Dictionary a few hundred times, Brooke. If you STILL can’t figure out why it’s funny and you aren’t, maybe you should just turn the strip back into a soap, and let wry grimaces suffice to convey the idea something humorous is going on, ala Funky.
January 30th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
RE: Doonesbury
Dear Alex – please stop thrusting your chest at the camera. You look like The Penguin with back pain and a wig.
January 30th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
gh: I just looked. It’s a croc dressed up like a zeeba!!
January 30th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
I was so overcome yesterday that I could not post! Not only did I get to see Phantom’s fine ass in his stripey uniform (y’all know I have a thing for him and whenever an ass shot is shown I’m thrilled) but he was topless! Yowza!
All exclamation marks all the time!
At least I’m not shouting like that Chennux dude.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
JP – So, Roger will be well taken care of, eh, Rachel. Are you suggesting that Abbey might give him a Hummer. Then he’d be livin’ large!
January 30th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
#145 Moon Mullins: Or, they could return to Iraq where the age of consent is, I think, 9. (see list of Prophet Mohammed’s wives) If He’s planning to rape LuAnn there, be sure to tell her to bring the required 4 witnesses for her defense. Otherwise, she’ll get stoned, and not the good kind.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
#176 zeeba
Run! Run like the wind!
January 30th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
#168 – Blondie comes from trash… that’s why Dagwood’s wealthy father disinherited him for marrying the little tramp, back in the ’30’s. Although you’d think 70 years later that would all be water under the bridge.
As far as polls go, we could have a separate poll for each gender. Although seriously … can anyone possibly compete with Prince Valiant??
January 30th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
#181, I don’t know, Winky. Ever since Val and Aleta had those trampy twin girls, what are their names? Nicky and Paris? Whatever. Anyway, Val’s a wuss ever since the kids grew up.
Please see post 177 if you still have any doubts as to where I will cast my vote.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
LuAnn — As Sgt York was born while bernice’s parents were in college, he may be quite a few years older. But just having come back from Iraq, where i understand the local ladies are way off limits, unless he was fooling around with a GI Jane, the last thing he’s looking for will Be LuAnn’s ID. he may jsut work his way through Bernice’s entire group of friends before it’s time to surge back to Iraq.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
And here I thought I was the only sick pervert who noticed Alex Doonesbury’s boobs. Imagine my relief finding out there are many of us. Everywhere.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Clowns, even robot clowns, never frightened me. – now those are scary. Middle-Class White 20something drowning in his own flopsweat onstage, shouting rude remarks at random audience members (God help a fat man at a comedy show!), you never know if he’ll flip out like Michael Richards or maybe just pull out an Uzi. . . That’s scary. Robots? Meh.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Sorry if someone brought this up already. but today’s OBH … gah. This strip makes the Keanes look like Algonquin Round Table regulars. What was Detorie thinking?
January 30th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Damn preview. I was talking about COMEDIANS. And screwing up italics. And why does “Sgt York” (snicker) look like Gunther on steroids?
January 30th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
aka One Big Crappy.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Re: 158
This poll is totally invalid and I will not participate unless Aunt Fritzi is included. Come on, guys! BTW, check her out in today’s Nancy. End of story.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:37 pm
147. LesLes:
Were those actually sideburns, Vietnamese people would not be welcome in Lost Forest. Come to think of it, there has never been a non-caucasian there anyway, so it’s a moot point.
Those are the artist’s lame attempt to add 3-D to Asian faces by making hash marks represent elevated cheekbones. Think of them as cheekpeaks. They end up looking more like birthmarks, acne scars or sideburns, though.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
#58-Your robot matchups would turn out far differently if one of the competitors was Maximillian from “The Black Hole”.
Dr. Rheinhardt: “KEEL HEEM, MAXI-MEEE-LEE-AWWWN!”
Sound effect (Killer buzzsaw blades spinning): Whirrrrrrrrrr….
#158: My vote would be for the mother from ‘PreTeena’. Not only is she cute, but she’s actually happy, witty, and hip, unlike 99.9% of the other women on the comics page.
FW-Her cancer is in remission? Could this be…gasp…the turning point for this strip? Maybe Wally will come back from the war unharmed and for good, comic book store guy will find a girlfriend of his own, the coach and his wife will have a baby, career-obsessed anchorlady will find happiness, Funky himself will gain career fulfilment and romance, one-armed girl will inject lizard DNA into herself and grow her arm back, Harry Dinkle will regain his lost hearing…I could go on an on! But as the gloomy strip bore the merry title of “Funky Winkerbean”, the newly-happy strip would gain a new title that would be the opposite of its sunny themes…a title like “Mayhem Megadeathbean”.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
#190 MossMoses: … or UPC symbols, maybe?
January 30th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
110 SmartPeopleOnIce, perhaps Andrew Wiles will have to give it a go.
January 30th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Yes ago when Watterson did one of his rare intereviews for COMICS JOURNAL, he mentioned trying to market CALVIN AND HOBBES to a syndicate, and they said they’d do it only if he put “Robotman” into the strip, because they had tried to figure out how to market the image for bucks and goods and calenders and bucks ala’ GARFIELD.
ROBOTMAN sucked, and did MONTY, where he went to rust.
January 30th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
Re: 158 …Two words: Bee Twins
January 30th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
No. 78: Isn’t “buggy versions of Microsoft” kinda redundant? (Like “dysfunctional family”?)
January 30th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
#189 Foobaphobe ….Hey, who are these guys drawing Nancy now? When did Aunt Fritzi get the “Blondie” treatment? She is hot.
January 30th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
That Vietnamese doctors actually correct, most of the Asian venereal disease is antibiotic resistant. I think Jeffs problem is chronic testosterone toxicity as a result of not getting laid since the Johnson administration.
January 30th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Why choose just one female? I say, salute them all!
January 30th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Regarding Gary Trudeau’s art in Doonsbury:
Several years ago the Kansas City Star ran a feature about the guy in KC who produces the the strip’s final art. He said Trudeau roughs the art and writes the strip then (I think at the time) faxed the material to the KC artist. It seemed like a mutual admiration relationship. The KC guy said Trudeau was still a fine draftsman but that he worked faster. Trudeau said the KC guy was the better artist and, because he was faster, they could shorten the lag time to get topical stuff out quicker than if Trudeau did it alone.
Turns out that, due to Hallmark Cards and Universal Press Syndicate both being in KC, there are many inkers, letterers, etc. in the area.
January 30th, 2007 at 4:52 pm
Hottest
My nominees are (in approximate order of hotness):
Margo (A3G)
Lois (H&L)
Mrs. Moe (Boffo)
Edda (9CL)
Abbey (JP)
Cindy (FWB)
Tony (Luann)
Brenda (NonS)
January 30th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
FOOB interview
I’m not sure whether this has already been mentioned and I missed it, or whether the link will be hot for long, or even whether anyone cares, but there is a new FOOB/LJ interview in the Houston Chron that looks like it has more details than the earlier Toronto article. No reader poll though.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent/4508151.html
There was a 1/8th page color drawing of the gang poping out of the front page of the entertainment section that almost made me drop my coffee in my lap this morning. The smaller group shot (shown in the link) was there too, all the more disturbing because it shows Gramps up and about (or a ghost?)
JL is talking a FOOBs TV show again.
January 30th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
FOOB 2
And speaking of characters aging in real time, just how old is that rabbit. How long do they live anyway? Mine tended to make it 3-4 years and it seems like it has been there longer.
January 30th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
I’m all about the Phantom and his washboard abs. Mmmmm… Love a man in purple. … Or Cutter John, if defunct strips are in the running. Now, there’s a good looking mustache. As for gals, I have a girly crush on the alter ego from Rose is Rose. You know you love a woman in studded black leather and a miniskirt.
January 30th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
#159 lesles: Um… thank you! I’m blushing.
As to the slipper/sock conundrum (as opposed to slipper socks – medium), I live just outside of Chicago in a house with wooden floors. All winter, I traipse about barefoot. Once in the house, the shoes are off, the socks are off, it’s naked feet! Granted, I’m all but wearing a scarf but it’s naked feet!
January 30th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
I go for the idea of setting up elimination rounds.
Draft a list of the names, male and female characters, place them in single face-off, a competition of votes, you’d be surprised who gets eliminated and in the end who survives the votes.
I think I would agree with #177, the Phantom is lookin pretty good, running around in tights, for a “ghost who walks.”
#188 Blondie as “trash” – she was a flapper for gods sake, that was like, a zillion light years ago, or at least in the 1920s, and they were just “gold-diggers”, not ‘trash’ per say. Now Dagwood on the other hand, was just plain STUPID rich kid, but his father should have paid Blondie for even hanging on to Dagwood’s arm.
I mean, Blondie went forward, accepted Dagwood’s lack of finances, got a career and went through a few wars herself, and still looks HOT. Ms. Buxley has never risen past secretary, never changed her haircut, has she ever been seen in pants or something other than that one form-fitting dress? Who knows what she really looks like on the off work day…Overall, she’s really on the same career curve as Beetle, they would belong together if it weren’t for, well…you know.
January 30th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Bizarro: And all this time I thought truffles were chocolate-covered mushrooms. I’m not much of a food person. First time I ever heard of poh (pho?) was when Dingo used it in a description here a while back. I know I’ll never eat that!
January 30th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
The classic drawing of Apt 3G – those were really three really cool-looking women. The artwork of that strip today doesn’t even keep consistent enough to know if the characters are attractive or not. It’s like changing from one week to another, as if you’re checking out someone you know very well, and realizing “wow…what happened to them?! Or was I missing something all that time?”
January 30th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Uh… Dean Booth? #207? Are you saying that you’d never eat pho or never eat me? ‘cuz I’m kinda off the market.
January 30th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
#31- you really don’t know anything at all about webcomics, do you?
#42- Red Robot.
#75- Like the Kwanzaa story, or Chuntney’s crush on Curtis, or Curtis’s crush on Michelle, or Curtis being sent to the principal’s office, the lunch-stealing storyline is repeated just about every year.
#137- No, you’re pretty much right on the money, so I’m interested to see if/how Stevens pulls it off.
#163- Oh hey der
January 30th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
198. Frank, are you actually a doctor or do you play one on television? Either way, your theory kind of makes sense. the total lack of sex since he became Mary Worth’s special friend may have caused delusional thinking where water symbolizes his own spooj, which he’s drowning in. This delusion could be exacerbated by cleft pallete fatigue syndrome and agent orangeitis, neither of which respond to antibiotics. The VietCong doctor appears to be totally clueless. Doc Jeff needs a love doctor to fix him up with a young, nubile, “me so hone-ee” Vietnamese chick. If Doc Jeff were healthier he could treat himself and would have a fool for a patient.
January 30th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
I’m waiting for Michael to flop down to the floor and just start wailing, Anthony-style, “WE HAVE NO HOME!!”
Because that’s the mature, responsible way for adult men to deal with their issues. In the FOOBiverse, anyway.
(Yes, I am still pissed about Anthony’S doing that. I had heard about that, vaguely, but I actually read some of the strips from that story arc recently. I hadn’t previously been aware that Anthony had cried to Liz and tried to make her bear the burden of his own emotional problems (seriously, “Say that you’ll wait for me! Promise me you’ll wait!”? What the hell was that?) almost immediately after Liz had nearly been raped. Probably less than an hour afterwards, in fact. I know I’m extremely far behind the times, but I wasn’t reading FOOB then, and I am seriously ticked off.)
(And speaking of characters acting like jerks, I had also heard about Wally punching a guy after some incident with landmines, but I went back and read the storyline (starting here-ish), and found out that he punched Khan in the face, really hard (hard enough to make a “CRUNCH!”), immediately after Khan had risked his own life to save Wally’s. Damn, these people can be cold. And as far as I can see, it was never really addressed in the strip after that, and Khan continued to be sort-of-friends with Wally.)
January 30th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
212 Wally punching out Khan
I’d have to go back and check the details, but I think Wally punched out Khan because he had just found out that Khan sold insurgents the SAM that nearly killed Wally and did kill the rest of his team. After Khan showed up stateside, I kept waiting for an episode of PTSS to kick in and for Wally to chase Khan through the pizza joint or maybe the high school waving a trench knife.
January 30th, 2007 at 6:03 pm
I’m surprised nobody’s posted this yet, which means it’s probably too easy: Luann Creator Wrestling With How To Address Terrorist Crisis
January 30th, 2007 at 6:34 pm
Could someone please explain the concern with whether Luann is past the age of consent for Bernice’s new brother? (ok, other than the standard prurient interest in the sex lives of teenage comic strip characters.) I mean, this is Luann. Other than in Greg Evans’ private notebook, none of these characters is actually getting any action. There is nothing disturbing about this. Luann will develop a crush on him, dream about him, perhaps get into fights with Bernice about him, and he will barely notice she exists or, at best, consider her his new kid sister’s friend.
January 30th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
#129 gh: LOL re your scenario for wrapping up the Theodore/Castoria story. It is certainly fitting and just. I would actually be happy if the story continues, and we could follow the adventures of T & C’s little beaver babies as they frolic through the streams and woods of Lofo, perhaps ever interacting with beloved Molly from time to time….
#135 Mibbitmaker: you are probably right about Bloom County, but I could never get into it. It always struck me as a rather daft ripoff of Doonesbury.
January 30th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Oh wait, wait!!! 91 for COTW!!!
January 30th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Pho, Dingo, pho. Though I think your description of the food actually pertained to both scenarios — you were describing your previous trips to the market in a pho-to realistic kinda way.
January 30th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
#218: “pho-to realistic kinda way” Excellent/awful pun there, Dean. I’ve got more. In fact….
218 nothin’ yet!
(sorry ’bout that, chief!)
January 30th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
So Zeeba, it has come to this…Fine! It was clear to me that we were two different people. Obviously not so much to others, especially you.
I will once again lurk into the shadows, only to reappear when you least expect it. When I de-lurk, I’ll be named something else, you won’t recognize me. And I will only send a few crocs your way.
Your neighba.
January 30th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
#214 Oh gawd–another cartoonist with something *important* to say
January 30th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
#221 Gal -
Since it’s The Onion, it may be a parody.
January 30th, 2007 at 7:52 pm
Mibbitmaker–Luckily I bought robot insurance.
January 30th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Oooooo–was I so taken, how shameful! (skulking back under rock).
January 30th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Mibbitmaker, Gal -
I totally called that number for the Sam Waterston commercial! Him and his dead eyes and his blank voice telling me, “because robots are strong. . . “
January 30th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
MF: Poor Mallard is forced to use a giant foam mallet as his back rest. Perhaps a more egonomic solution would lessen his need for pain killing alchohol.
January 30th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
need new post…. thread dying…. must… move… towards… the … light…
January 30th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/hagar.asp
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/hagar.asp?date=20070127
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/hagar.asp?date=20070126
Hagar the Horrible is dead.
Oh, it’s still updating, but its only a shadow of its former self, reanimated by its King’s Features Syndicate using unholy magicks. Don’t believe me, Stupidman? Look at the three strips that I linked to!
They don’t have a joke.
Hagar was never ever funny, but there was always at least a pun, a malapropism, or just a stupid, wry quip in that deadpan humor that is so funny except when it’s used wrong, in which case it becomes stupid and pointless. But now… they’re not even trying anymore. In all three of the above strips, there is no attempt at humor. None at all. Not even the undercurrent of strange behavior in For Better or Far Side. Nothing.
Hagar is no longer a comic strip, but a gaping wound in the comics’ section of the newspaper. It that can only be excised, for the good of humanity.
So proclaims me!
January 30th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
Just some notes regarding the newer, foobier article about Lynn Johnson cited by Saxman, #202:
The cartoonist has, after all, written and drawn the popular comic strip For Better or for Worse for 28 years, in sickness and in health, without complaint, while Aaron McGruder (Boondocks), Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes) and others griped, took extended hiatuses and retired.
“What wusses!” she exclaims.
What? The woman who invented, developed and cursed us with Anthony Caine is calling Bill Watterson a wuss?
Fuck her.
“I wanted to retire completely,” says Johnston, who has never taken a break from the strip. Her thinking always was, “If Charles Schulz can do it, so can I,” she said, referring to the creator of Peanuts, who drew his strip for just short of 50 years, giving it up only weeks before he died Feb. 12, 2000.
….Johnston’s condition doesn’t affect her drawing. She does, however, use assistants to do the lettering and to ink most of the drawings. Johnston draws everything in pencil and inks the characters but not the backgrounds.
So she wants to retire after only half the time that Schultz spent on Peanuts, in which she uses a plethora of assistants while Schultz drew most of his strip himself with maybe a couple of helpers in later years? What a wuss!
Fuck her running.
She talked to another cartoonist about taking the reins. The other cartoonist, whom she did not name, demurred, saying that For Better or for Worse was Johnston’s baby.
And if “Johnston’s baby” really is reflective of Mike, Liz, and April, Lynn will be a smothering-hen like Elly so the other cartoonist wisely dodged a bullet.
[/rant]
January 30th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
I recall that the Hagar The Horrible Viking Handbook (or whatever) was pretty funny. I think Browne the elder penned that one, though.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
In what is becoming a regular series here at Curmudgeon…
Can ANYONE explain what the “joke” is in B.C. today?
Are they talking about the bible? If so, it’s still a lame-ass joke, but if not…I got nothin.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Pant, pant. This website is like Looking Glass land — it takes all the running I can do to keep in the same place.
# 25 — Your Stellar Magnificence, thank you for restoring our humble planetary websites. Please don’t ever do that again. And please leave our good snarkers alone — we need them. I place a bottle of Bruichladdich on your altar as bribe and propitiation.
# 30 & 44 — gh, it’s fine with me if all the pez goes to Wille. As long as he never does that to the beavers ever ever again.
# 34 — Thank you, Lyman, for pointing out that Michael is a nosebleed. Among the many excellent insults that have been hurled at the AntiWriter, yours stands out.
# 57 — Me too, Sheilagh. I wouldn’t want to live with Alex, but she entertains me in a way that April, even at her best, does not. On the other hand, reading that other Curmudgeons hate Alex does not bother me, whereas threats and insults directed at Theodore and Castoria, while mercifully few, make me feel sad (sniff).
# 96 — Thanks, jvwalt, for a better theory than mine about what’s going on with the Asians in this strip. I thought they might be vampires.
# 112 — Thanks for the warning, PeteMoss. (Margo), how I have dreaded this storyline. I’ll have to keep a bucket by the computer to catch the projectile vomit.
# 115 — Gadge, thanks for distracting Chennux, per the last thread. And wow, very impressive swordwork re a certain clumsy insult! You and Mibbitmaker were like the Two Musketeers.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Josh- aren’t you being a little hard on Alex? After all, everyone- her dad Mike Doonesbury, her stepmom, JJ her bio mom, even Zonker and that good-for-nothing stepdad JJ hooked up with, neither of whom have any reason to lecture anyone about anything- all call her on it when she’s behaving brattily or whinily.
Compare to Lizardbreath and her menagerie of “there, there, poor Liz”-ing enablers (Apwil excepted-sometimes). No comparison.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
#229: OH NO SHE DINNIT. Man, what a ho-bag. I used to look up to Lynn Johnson, for real.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
#119—No, “kinda unique” is not “technically wrong”. This is one of those linguistic myths that gets passed around by people who don’t stop to question it, but has no basis in reality–although it seems odd that you acknowledge that there is a “potent argument for its use”, but still claim it’s wrong. So…if the standard argument that it’s self-contradictory doesn’t hold up (which it doesn’t, as Randy S and laurenhat did a very good job of explaining), why would it be wrong, exactly, except because you heard somewhere that it was wrong and just latched onto the idea?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying “kinda unique”, “very unique”, “more unique”, etc. Can we please ditch the ridiculous myth that there is?
January 30th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
191 – Lyman Returns, I would love to see Mayhem Megadeathbean. Especially that part where one-armed girl injects lizard DNA and grows her arm back.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
Doonsbury: actually Alex also looks a lot like Mike’s mom. I think Alex is the first young character in a long time who actually seems real in Doonsbury. Zipper didn’t represent anything about young people and didn’t do anything for the comic other than give GT a way to talk about colleges. Joanie’s kid (I can’t remember his name) is completely unreasonable and it makes no sense that he would go into the CIA with his mother and father’s background and that they would be supportive of it – it’s freaking JOANIE CAUCUS for fucks sake! Alex is smart, has personality, and actually brings a perspective on college more like what her dad represented in the early days. Plus, within the world of Doonsbury where everyone looks a little weird, she is fair good looking.
January 30th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
There was actual good news in FW today, as what’s her name’s cancer has gone into remission. Sure, tomorrow she’ll sustain a complete compound fracture of her left leg after falling of the examination table when the doctor tells her she’s got ALS and the bone marrow that escapes from the break will pass through her heart, giving her a massive anuerysm so she’ll die with blood pouring from every orifice in her head as her doctor and husband look on in horror, unable to ease her agony as the final, miserable seconds of her life ooze away, but for today, cupcakes for all!
January 30th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
also, I’d like to recommend my favorite web-comic. It is a one-panel done better than ANYTHING being published right now in newspapers. I’d say it’s funny 6/7 times and hillarious 3/7.
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/
some of my favorite:
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/010905/part-of-the-solution.gif
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/032706/anything-nice.gif
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/012705/generic-version-of-the-bagel.gif
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/020805/mobius-belt.gif
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/022605/coffee-rapper.gif
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/030105/scientist-got-the-bends.gif
January 30th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
As long as we’re talking about webcomics, here’s a few on my favorites:
Dinosaur Comics
Ozy & Millie
Count Your Sheep
Achewood
Freefall
Order of the Stick
January 30th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
Regarding uniqueness:
http://www.springerlink.com/index/V8543373882M1165.pdf
January 30th, 2007 at 10:41 pm
Ozy and Mille is drawn by someone who went to the same college as me! I used to read it in the school paper. I didn’t realize they kept it up!
January 30th, 2007 at 10:46 pm
Natural Selection: Re guy with bottle – what is that odd whip-like thing growing out of his head? …and WTF is hanging over the top of his shorts?
January 30th, 2007 at 11:01 pm
239 Jordan: By sheerest coincidence (and I mean breathtakingly sheer – you can see everything right through it), earlier today someone else forwarded me what looks like another “Toothpaste for Dinner” gag. Looks like it’s worth checking out…
January 30th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
#102 Though this is late in the comment thread to address it (AND I hate to defend the FOOBs) . . .
When you have a substantial fire, the fire department comes in and packs all of your possessions into boxes. The boxes go to a facility where the items are cleaned (using a process that I know nothing about) and the items are then sorted. Those items that are destroyed are recorded to be replaced by the insurance company – if insurance exists. Finally, the items are repacked and returned to the owner. It takes several months – about three to six depending on the backlog.
I know this because I live in a row home and the house two doors down was gutted by a fire. My next door neighbor was in a hotel for several weeks and is still wading through the boxes of returned possessions (her entire house had fire and smoke damage). Everyone on the block ended up with a new roof and a new front porch.
And for the morbidly curious – the owner and his dog died. The dog was brought back to life by a fireman using mouth to mouth (the owner was not so lucky). Wonder dog was on the local Baltimore news.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:12 pm
Re: the topless Phantom- I believe The Phantom wears a unitard, over which he puts stripey underpants, so as not to be Ghost-Whose-Package-Is-Too-Prominent. He does not wear a short-waisted hoodie shirt and tights! He can’t work in that! I mean, how’s he supposed to ride around on a big, white, thong-wearing horse and sneak up on the roughly dressed, sweaty bad men if he, um, if he…wait, I’ve confused myself.
January 30th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
#6. You can’t be “kinda unique,” but you can be “kinda pedantic.”
January 30th, 2007 at 11:34 pm
#235: MIO”u”CBFOTI:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/unique
January 30th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
Okay, this thread is close enough to dying for me to write this Po’ excuse of a joke. That play that Tommie went to see? It’s about Aldo Kelrast faking his death and moving to the north of Canada where he takes a job in the Royal Canadian Mounties and pines for the day that Mary Worth recants and flies thousands of miles to be with him. The play is so good, Tommie wants her photo taken with the ensemble. So, in a few days – probably a Sunday with the larger area for the strip – look for Tommie Thompson in a photograph with
The Cast of A Mountie, Aldo
Thank you. Thank you. Don’t forget to tip your waitress and, please, try the veal.
January 31st, 2007 at 12:05 am
# 246 — BWAHAHA! I do believe that’s a COTW contender, Squid Countess. (Somehow it doesn’t feel right to call you either Squid or Countess, so formality will prevail unless you indicate otherwise.)
# 249 — Dingo, you are always full of surprises. That was good, but I agree it was safest to put it at the end of a thread, lest some CCs find ways to beat you with virtual sticks. Puns are so dangerous. No veal, thanks, but I’m gonna grab a handful of those pastel mints.
January 31st, 2007 at 12:20 am
‘I think you’ll have several more beavers around here soon, Dick!’
I wouldn’t touch that line with a ten-foot Kaczynski.
January 31st, 2007 at 12:28 am
1/31 –
MT — I can SO hardly wait for Thursday’s strip telling Dickhead about the birds and the bees. Literally.
FW — Black humor in FW is more like black hole humor.
JP — Mary Worth does look bizarre, with her helmet hair and all, but at least her artist doesn’t hate her the way Aunt Rachel’s artist hates HER. Death will be a welcome release.
January 31st, 2007 at 12:34 am
I think we all learned something in today’s Mark Trail. Yes, it’s true that beavers are annoying and literally chew up your resources. But if you have fire that needs putting out those beavers just may provide you with a place to stick your hose.
January 31st, 2007 at 12:48 am
246 Squid Countess: A horse in a thong? Give me a moment while I microwave my eyeballs.
Still’n'all, it would be an amusing bit of performance art to put thongs on a bunch of horses and let them hang around in fields as per usual. Probably cause a few collisions on County Hwy. D – but hey, it’s only farmers.
I think there should be a new honor here: the Unread Posts Memorial, for all those folks who end up posting the last ten entries and are utterly ignored…
January 31st, 2007 at 12:57 am
Josh and Uncle Lump read these last posts! I just know it! They’ll find us down here…way down here…
January 31st, 2007 at 1:03 am
#138 – Hell if I know, but they don’t appear to be (unless, of course, TOMMIE USED TO WORK ON THE DOCKS!).
Sex with robots, on the other hand, makes me cringe/feel empathetic scalding metallic PAIN sufficiently.
January 31st, 2007 at 1:08 am
1/31 Foob — ARRRRRRRRGH! Emperor Chennux, I’m begging you, smite the Foob called Michael! Smite him with extreme prejudice! But first, I implore you, read his January letter so you will better understand WHY he should be smitten! And tomorrow, when you see the wrath of our planet explode at this Foob plot development, you will fully understand why!
January 31st, 2007 at 1:15 am
Poteet, do you suppose that EC comes to these depths?
January 31st, 2007 at 1:23 am
#190 MossMoses – i did originally try and see that shading as cheekbones, but it hurt my aesthetics, so i opted for sideburns.
January 31st, 2007 at 1:24 am
For Better or Perverse: Yes, Michael, they’re offering you $25,000. All you need to do is email them your account number at the bank and the tracking. They’ll wire the money into your account.
Did the letter also mention your winning the British lottery?
January 31st, 2007 at 1:30 am
According to Currency Translator, Michael received the equivalent of $21,161.25 US. Presently, I don’t believe Deena will murder him for the money. Murder him for being a jerkwad? Yes.
January 31st, 2007 at 3:24 am
#7, Clowns aren’t all evil, just misunderstood. They get discriminated against, but the fight for Clown rights continues, as you can see here:
http://www.comicssherpa.com/site/feature?uc_comic=cswfa
January 31st, 2007 at 3:27 am
#240. So i clicked over to Ozy and Millie just to see it and it couldn’t help but read a few years of it in one sitting. it’s SO GOOD, i forgot that comics COULD be good. I feel like it is a lot like Calvin and Hobbes and even uses a joke from them, but it does it in it’s own unique way and i think that we all really should mobilize to destroy Cathy and BC and these other idiotic comics. they are probably only standing because a few old people are vocal about it.
January 31st, 2007 at 3:36 am
#206 Blondie couldn’t have been a “flapper” a zillion light years ago. A light year is a measure of distance, not time. Unless you mean she made the kessel run in under ten parsecs.
January 31st, 2007 at 10:25 am
Scaduto’s idea of a modern ‘computerized’ cash register looks like a cast iron steamship engine.
January 31st, 2007 at 4:40 pm
Lynn Johnston calling McGruder and Watterson “wusses” is like Mantovani dissin’ Mozart. “Sombitch only lived to be 35. What kinda crap can you write in that short a time?”
January 31st, 2007 at 6:30 pm
I’d just like to welcome those of you who just found this site for the first time because you searched for “Frisky Beavers.” I think you’ll find us to be friendly. To make your transition from
pornerotica to comics easier we’ll start you off with “Arlo and Janis”, “monty” and “One Big Happy.” Next will come “Apt 3 G.” don;t worry, we won’t toss Mary Worth at you until you’re ready… ready to begin? Both hands on the keyboard. Yes, BOTH hands. Thank you. Now first off let us consider “Get Fuzzy”…..January 31st, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Bill, I must, gently, disagree.
If all the horrors that are visited on the denizens of Funkytown were instead to be visited on the Cathyans, that would be hilarious and heartwarming!
Hey, Cathy! You lost a lot of weight! Looking good, girl. I like the pale wan look, too. You might be a little old to be going for the Goth thing though, hon. Oh, breast cancer? Yeah, everyone’s got that – it’s going around. It’s really you. I swear, half the people in my book club have breast cancer. That’s why I have that pink ribbon on my handbag.
How’s the ball and chain? Oh, with Freda? That’s wild. I always thought they’d tear one off sometime. Hey, you should really get another dog, Cathy, but don’t let this one run out in the street! Would you look at the time? Toodles!
January 31st, 2007 at 10:11 pm
Okay on reflection maybe Cathy Guisewaite can’t be allowed within a hundred parsecs of a serious subject.
February 1st, 2007 at 1:53 am
Am I the only one who thinks that Luanne is a manifestation of Greg Evan’s repressed homosexuality and desires to be a woman?
And when is luanne finally going to get laid? That rack is just going to waste; her and the pretty girl should at least kiss or something….
February 1st, 2007 at 1:59 am
And also, I think she’s getting uglier too….
February 1st, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I was a huge fan of Diesel Sweeties back in the day (in fact I am right at this moment wearing a shirt I bought from the site). For a while he went to longer strops and for whatever reason I lost interest around then. Around the time I heard he had gotten a newspaper deal I started reading it again.
Basically, right before the strip began to get syndicated he did a storyline where Clango, the main robot, got his mind erased so that to new readers it could seem as if it was a new story but to older readers the older stories wouldn’t have been invalidated.
Oh and that evil red robot that shows up? He’s call the Red Robot. Clever name (although I think the original Red Robot was created somewhere other than in Diesel Sweeties, and so may not appear in the newspaper strip because of ownership issues).
February 9th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links:
March 1st, 2008 at 9:32 am
Everybody is very recommend to visit the portal interesting sites:
http://farise.cn
May 27th, 2008 at 8:11 am
Hello. I just stumbled upon your website and there’s some good information here.
http://www.911restoration.com is an interactive website delivering news and information to
the Mold Testing, Fire Damage Restoration, Flood Damage, Property Damage Restoration, etc..
If it’s alright with you, I’d like to stop in from time to time and I’ll link to information
here that our readers might find valuable. Thanks!
November 11th, 2008 at 4:52 am
yuo tube porno italiano :
http://yuotubeporno.tripod.com/yuo-tube-porno-italiano.html
November 11th, 2008 at 4:58 am
Wellcome to: Yuo tube porno :
http://yuotubeporno.tripod.com/
April 1st, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Erectyle dysfunction wont happen to you no more, this erectyle dysfunction will no longer keep you awake, so make sure that you get a cure for your erectyle dysfunction, you will see that you are not going to be ruled by erectil dysfunction.