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Metapost: Another week, another set of brilliant comments

Without further ado, I present … the comment of the week!

“Even more disturbing is that Gerald and Apes are apparently CHEWING ON EACH OTHER’S CHEEKS. If they plan on going roadside, I see heartache, disappointment, and chafing.” –Gabe

And of course, the rest of the best:

“I am baffled by Curtis’s reaction to the scene he has just witnessed. If I saw a young boy bring to life two balloon golems that subsequently danced around until their demise by murder-suicide, the floor would be covered in my poop.” –Analyzer

“Margo needs to break up with him because before Eric, we just had angry caustic bitch Margo hanging around the apartment giving the other airheads what-for. It was awesome, or at least as awesome as a boring comic like A3G can aspire to. Now that she’s boinking Eric, we have to watch her constantly shifting between three possible emotional states (jealous rage, angsty insecurity, or goofy joy), and that’s lame. Put plainly, Margo and insecurity just don’t go together, and I don’t think anyone can make a convincing argument for why Margo should ever be happy.” –Trilobite

“Word of advice to the Home Shopping Network’s booking agent: Name ‘Shady’ + Tattered Clothing + Single Tooth = Crack Dealer.” –Hambone

“I’m sorry, but I have trouble believing such vivid daydreams are emanating from someone as clearly sedated as Tommie is.” –Tats

“I look at those hipster outfits at Affect Ad Agency and can’t help but wonder what year it is. It looks like they’re all moon-walking out of a ‘Where’s the Beef’ campaign brainstorming session.” –Shiptic Canker

“Man, you’ve got to love those trademark Pluggers puns: ‘A Plugger often deliberates among several fast-food restaurants. Also: soul-crushing poverty.’” –Z. D. Smith

“The comic Spider-Man can’t handle a single brick falling five feet — of course, maybe it hit a vulnerable spot, his Achilles skull.” –Dean Booth

“It really bugs me that EVERYONE in the new MW storyline appears to need to touch their own or neighboring genitals at least once per strip. Unless New Girl is doing the pee-pee dance there — who knows how long Ben has had her cornered there talking about Ha Ha stuff? Weeks? Months?” –AndreaD

“I’m over here silently praying that Margo’s latest snub puts Tommie over the edge, so our mousy redhead challenges our blustery cokehead to a sex-off.” –Cranky

“Very disturbing male stripper audience vibe from the soccer moms in the last panel [of Crankshaft]. They seem to be thinking, ‘I wonder if he drives in bed like he drives that bus?’ But, that way lies madness.” –Chubby Haggis

“Not sure if I’m a plugger. I’m lower-middle-income and hairy.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“And DAMN but Sara has a) a freakishly huge head or b) hideously shriveled claws in panel 2. It’s a shame she doesn’t know any doctors.” –juggernaut

“I like how June is immediately giving Niki a chore to do literally hours after Elvis tried to kill him.” –Gal Friday

“Why is it that all these soap opera strips seem to be written to confirm the fears of shut ins? ‘If you travel to another country you’ll become deathly ill and the heathen doctors will never be able to cure you and then you’ll get lost on the subway and mugged by overly formal punks! Applebee’s is all the exotic culture any sane person ever needs.’” –Christopher

“You might think the point of Mark Trail is to teach kids to be better connected with nature, but don’t be so naive. The obsessive cataloging of animal-related factoids is just one facet of its central theme, a devastating portrayal of Asperger’s Syndrome.”–t.a.m.s.y.

“Having brought the animal into class, and intentionally encouraged it in all its actions, Curtis is wholly and entirely responsible for the death/maiming of his teacher. I hope he’s tried as an adult. And he’ll be glad his Dad has never given up the cigarettes despite his malicious pranks, ’cause he’ll need them for currency in the hole.” –captainswift

“April and Gerald will be caught being ‘roadside’ by the Saints, and we will be subjected to at least a week’s worth of nagging and lecturing by two couples who have no idea how to prevent pregnancy themselves. I’m going to laugh AT them, not WITH them.” –True Fable

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