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Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/27/05

So many objectionable items in this strip: cannibalism, vomiting, racial stereotyping, the inappropriate use of quotation marks. Yet I can’t bring myself to object to it. Why? Because far from loving Ray Romano, I in fact hate him with the passion of ten thousand suns. You hear me, CBS? Hate! Now, I’m not saying that I’d like to see this Emmy-award-winning comedian captured by Dayaks or Fore tribesmen, cooked alive, and eaten in a ritual meant to bring power and status to the elite members of the clan. I’m just saying that if such a thing were to happen and I read about it in the newspaper, I wouldn’t linger over the tragedy for very long before moving on to the sports pages, if you follow me.

Still, I have a few problems with this strip. For one thing, why is it that our cannibal savages live in a palisaded hut, apparently beyond the reach of modern society (you can tell by the thoroughly 1980s wristbands they’ve adorned themselves with), yet still have access to modern porcelain toilets, and, presumably, municipal plumbing? Secondly, why would Ray Romano be wearing a pith helmet? And glasses? Ray Romano doesn’t … wear … oh, crap! These guys didn’t eat Ray Romano at all, just some random explorer dude named Raymond! OK, all this comic’s redeeming qualities have vanished for me. I hate it now.