Archive: Mother Goose and Grimm

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Mary Worth, 6/24/19

Wow, so, uh, this Mary Worth plot: still happening??? I guess????? The obvious implication that this conversation is really about how Mary got Jeff to try all sorts of weird sex stuff when they first started dating and now he’s become such a kinkster than he wants to open up their relationship is too much for me to handle, emotionally, so I’m just going to take everything here at face value and point out how incredibly limited Dr. Jeff’s palatte must’ve been if going to some extremely mediocre boardwalk seafood restaurant constitutes “adventurous eating” for him. I guess the other possibility is that the “adventure” arises from the consistent C ratings the Bum Boat gets from the Santa Royale Health Department.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/24/19

I’ve given some thought to the logistics here, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the best case scenario is that Batman is aiming his penis so that his piss falls in an arc just past his nose and into toilet bowl, and the worst case scenario is that his penis is dangling upside down with the rest of him and urine is just, like, flowing down his chest and into his face, which is disgusting, but keep in mind that even a slight misstep with the best case scenario also results in a faceful of piss. This comic is an affront to human dignity, is what I’m trying to say, and I certainly hope DC Comics and its parent company, Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc., sues the entire newspaper comics industry out of existence in response. It would be wholly merited.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/24/19

Oh boy, this is even better than I’d hoped! What do you think Mr. Lewton is obsessing over? GMOs? Chemtrails? Vaccines? I’m very much looking forward to some heavy, heavy sighing from Rex.

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Mother Goose and Grimm, 6/5/19

Just about every animator and cartoonist eventually dabbles with a “Duck Amuck“-style plot where the characters grapple with the nature of their own reality. Today’s Mother Goose and Grimm is a particularly disturbing take, though, with Mother Goose going bug-eyed with panic as she realizes she’s dissolved her beloved dog’s body into nothingness. Only his eyes remain, hanging in mid-air, leading to an important question: are eyes the soul of a cartoon character? Makes you think!

Shoe, 6/5/19

I’m extremely put off by the way Shoe is making direct eye contact with the reader in the second panel, as if to say, “Get it? I, Shoe, the title character in this comic strip, walk around naked at all times, and maybe you’ve been reading this strip for years and just assumed it’s a weird visual quirk that everyone involved in the strip’s production has long forgotten about, but: nope! I’m naked, other characters in this strip wear clothes, I’m violating every in-universe social norm, but they can’t stop me. Nobody can stop me. It’s now official Shoe canon that I’m a sick pervert bird-man who likes making everyone feel uncomfortable, because that’s how I get off.”

Gasoline Alley, 6/5/19

Please sign my change dot org petition to require that every Gasoline Alley strip end with one of the characters saying “Huh?”, thus assuring the reader that they aren’t meant to really understand anything that anybody is saying.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/5/19




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Mother Goose and Grimm, 4/18/19

It’s kind of funny how America’s stereotypes of “Brooklyn” (which at one point had official signs at the entrance to the borough that said “FUHGEDDABOUTIT” on them) and New Jersey kind of blend together. This speaks, it seems to me, both to the ongoing story of immigrant life in America, in which communities plant in the city and then slowly move to the suburbs over a few generations as longtime residence brings acculturation and wealth, and just to most people in “Real America”‘s inability to distinguish between the diverse parts of the greater New York Area. Anyway, this has just been a set of musings trigged by today’s Mother Goose and Grimm, a nationally syndicated newspaper comic in which a fly and a rat go head to head for the right to feast on a pigeon’s corpse.

Marvin, 4/18/19

The best part of this strip, to me, is when Marvin locks eyes with us and smiles slyly in the final panel, implicating us all in this gross, petty little exchange. “See, it’s not just me,” he’s saying, “my whole family is real dicks all the way down. Yours too, probably!”