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It’s Sunday night, and you know what that means: this week’s Comments of the Week! First, the top finisher:

“In regards to Funky Winkerbean, this is probably the only time in this dude’s life that he’ll have had two girls in French maid outfits grinding up on him, and the one who likes him is insecure and drunk. Nothing on earth could stop that sex from happening … except vomit. It’s like an episode of the Twilight Zone if it were written by Shakers.” –Trent

And the nearly-as-hilarious runners up:

“Iris Beedie may not be as street smart as her pony-tailed prisoner son Tommy, but he solicits drugs in lunch bags to passersby, so his street cred is not exactly beyond reproach.” –MossMoses

“If Snake and Jake spend all their time setting up elaborate traps for animals just so they can kill them for fun, what do these clowns do for money? The mortgage on that log cabin has got to be sky high, and ammo doesn’t come cheap these days. I think Snake is a substance abuse counselor and Jake is a hairstylist to the stars.” –dramashoes

“If Crankshaft was not complicit in atrocities committed by US troops during the Vietnam Conflict, I don’t know who the hell was.” –Joe

“That movie is better than 90% of the stuff on TV. Recast Loretta Lockhorn with Jessica Rabbit and you have every sitcom on CBS.” –yellojkt

“I also like how there’s a comma after the first Ha Curtis makes, but none of the others. The writer put in one comma, then realized that because it was Curtis, he should have put Ha in quotation marks, then realized that because it was Curtis, he needed to do something more with his life.” –Steve S

“Do they call it Lost Forest because it is so small no one can find it? How in the hell do all these people keep stumbling into each other in the middle of the woods?” –Barking Spider Brewery

“That drawing of J. Jonah in panel #2 just ain’t right. Most of me wants to vomit on my keyboard, but there’s a small part of me that wants to reach out and touch that incredibly bristly head of his and see if his hair is sharp enough to break the skin.” — King Folderol

“Molly doesn’t understand why bears in nature find her undesirable. In the human world, a naked woman chained to a tree while two men drink Old Milwaukee twenty feet away while holding guns is an invitation to fantasy fulfilled.” –Dingo

“Lynn Johnston should change the name of her comic to Invariably Worse.” –paddywhack

“Did Arbuckle break up with Liz? I mean, the strip’s forte is all-encompassing hopelessness and not real human emotion, so I could see it.” –Ryan

“Regarding the strange arrangement of Mary Worth’s kitchen: Her kitchen is mostly correct for what we call ‘universally designed,’ which is interior-design-speak for a person who will live most of her life in a wheelchair throughout her elderly years. It’s also correctly designed for a disabled person, like a person who becomes permanently wheelchair-bound after getting her legs broken with a brownie pan. I say, good forward thinking Mary!” –MGArchitect

“I find myself idly wondering what Marty Moon is doing. Whatever it is — working on his car, baking a ham, mastering sudoku, performing back-alley abortions — it has to be more interesting than the mindless plots and horrendously drawn characters we’re getting now. I’m getting worried if Moon doesn’t get a storyline soon, McLaughin’s gonna forget how to draw a goatee and we’ll lose him forever.” –Cold Eels, Distant Thoughts

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