Metapost: Cömments öf the wëek!
Hey rockers! It’s time for the TOTALLY BADASS AND AWESOME COMMENT OF THE WEEK! Uh huh! That’s right! You know it baby!
“It would be great if someone revealed a cure for cancer, if for no other reason than to render the next several months of Funky completely irrelevant.” –Reedzilla
Hey and guess what? THESE COMMENTS ROCKED PRETTY HARD TOO!
“Oh my god, kids these days. They stick out a fist at you, and they expect you to just know that you’re supposed to respond analogously. Not like high-fives, where you slap the other guy’s palm with your tongue, or a handshake, where you put your penis in the guy’s waiting hand.” –junk science
“I think that Gabriella’s mystical powers and ecstatic visions are perfectly within the realm of believability. Only a great and powerful witch could carry the devil’s child to term.” –The Eleusinian
“As the tale of Cedric the Butler winds to a (presumptive) close, let’s play Judge Parker Mad Libs for a stab at the next story line: Abbey and Neddy travel to [geographic location] where they run afoul of a [social stereotype]. Fearing that they will be victims of [crime or impropriety], they attempt to defend themselves with a [household object]. The day is saved by a [adj.] [profession] with a [adj.] [noun]. Later, Neddy tries on a sexy [article of clothing], much to Abbey’s [emotion].” –Motorposus
“Is it me, or is Mrs. Coach Thorp a dead ringer for Resuscitation Annie, the CPR doll? And when I say ‘dead,’ I mean that I don’t want to poke around in Coach Thorp’s closet any time soon.” –Wonder Boy
“That second panel, with the locker room staring accusingly at the reader, may be the finest moment in the history of unintentionally unsettling things.” –Victor Von
“I personally prefer the drag queen/stripper name scenario [for Oki Merlot]. Also, that would explain the glittery classlessness of the Oki/Oaky joke. She was probably born in Northern Idaho and in a grand, drunken moment in a Coeur d’Alene Safeway wine aisle, misspelled and mismatched her way into a new life, a new mixed heritage, and a new cultural identity to capitalize on. Her eyes were swelled shut with allergies and regrets, and everyone just kept assuming things, and then after a while it just became easier to go with the flow, as they say. The Chopstick Chignon and Qingpao Qicanery are thus easily explicable as just so much overcompensating.” –SecretMargo
“I’ll take a break from my general crankiness to point out that just about every male character in A3G looks exactly alike. Sandy hair, indistinguishable features, bland, bland, bland. ‘Alan — I’ll miss you most of all — if I could tell you apart from the lunch counter guy.'” –fizzy logic
“Is Curtis’ dad a Foob, or what? His wife is telling him her whole family hates his chain-smoking, rap-hating guts and all HE hears is ‘blah blah blah Other boyfriends, Blah blah blah.’ At least he’s not dying of lung cancer or I-hate-rap cancer.” –dreadedcandiru2
“The smug batter from Central looks like a young George ‘Superman’ Reeves, only in better shape. And by a young George Reeves, I mean 42.” –John C Fremont
“Man, only Mark Trail could take such seemingly dull elements as bird-watching, airport expansion, and bureaucratic zoning and make them … actually even more boring than that sounds.” –GG
“FC: Jeffy has never looked this closely at Dolly before. ‘It’s more a snout than a nose, really. Fascinating.'” –Old Bean
“I admit that I have only been following Rex Morgan via this blog. Usually, serial comics move so slowly that you only need to read every third one to understand what’s happening anyway. But RMMD’s current plot is so convoluted that I’ve just given up trying to understand it. I’ve now accepted that it’s just some sort of surrealist commentary on modern life. A woman makes threatening phone calls! A man sits in ice cream! A lady attends a board meeting in a cheongsam!” –Rooser the Bruiser
“Y’know, I still haven’t heard a good reason why the local paper in Mark Trail apparently runs articles about which journalists are in town and what articles they plan on writing. Perhaps it was a puff piece, something like ‘Severe Autism Doesn’t Hold Reporter Back’ or ‘Coming Soon — The Most Boring Article Ever’ or even ‘Famous Face-Puncher Visits Airport’? Because if that’s what counts as a major story in that town, they desperately need a good spree killing or molasses fire or SOMETHING.” –Trilobite
And hey, you know what else? We gotta thank God, our moms, and OUR ADVERTISERS! Oh yeah!
- Autumn Lake: Good old fashioned Webcomickry (from faithful reader Mooncity!). The kind of comic Mom used to make.
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