Metapost: Comment my week, baby!
Another Sunday night, another dementedly funny comment of the week!
“I sincerely hope, but doubt, that the fine folks behind Apartment 3-G are hardcore enough to have Luann just die unspectacularly. Then Tommie would kill herself, and Margo would attend both funerals wearing a blue overcoat and a completely indifferent look. She might even boo a little.” –Tats
(This marks what I believe is an unprecedented two-week run for Tats! To prove that no favoritism is involved, I didn’t even notice that Tats had repeated until I went to update the code that puts the quote on the site. Well-played!)
And another dementedly funny list of runners up!
“Why is Dick Tracy giving a thumbs-down in panel two? Has killing the bad guy gotten so routine he now rates their deaths, and decided that Queenie diving headfirst into the exhaust pipe of a tug boat just doesn’t thrill him like it used to? Damn, Dick. Take a week or two of vacation and get your joy in the horrible demise of others back.” –smacky
“I really don’t think Jughead has anything to worry about. His bachelorhood is basically guaranteed as long as he keeps wearing that hat.” –ChefMike
“‘Rex takes his time…’ It’s the strip’s mission statement”. –PTrig
“Mark Trail: It’s like some kind of glorious triptych of deformity.” –Trilobite
“A rockslide begins with the fall of a single pebble. An avalanche starts with a sharp noise. An evening of pig sex that results in a lifetime of herpes and child support payments begins with a single peppermint schnapps. And so, with LizardBreath’s mention of Anthony, begins our delicious misery.” –willethompson
“Aw, c’mon, folks. We all knew this was coming. Liz and the ’Stache will get married right before Lynn transitions the strip to its frozen-in-time state and we’ll get to see them raise his little girl 4Eva. At least until the strip becomes about the talking dog. And we all know that every comic strip eventually becomes about a talking dog.” –mattt
“It’s a good thing that Rusty didn’t offer to take pictures yesterday when Mark and Cherry were getting their LoFo freak on. The result would have been a photographic mess with inflexible torsos and stiffly awkward limbs sticking out all over the place, sort of like if you disrobed a Barbie doll and a Ken doll and smacked them together.” –Paperback Rifler
“Actually, Cedric appears to be slamming the butlermobile into high gear as he smirks that he’s afraid of ‘growing old.’ Manual transmission, fear of loss of sexual potency, and younger women: it’s the official midlife crisis anvil.” –Jill Smith
“Several previous quotes from Michael on this site have made me think, ‘Oh, surely he didn’t say THAT.’ And then I visit the Foob site and find out he did. Gaah! Much as I fear and avoid (DT)GT, at least Clambake doesn’t write a letter every month.” –Poteet
“Check out Vexed Morgan, MD, in panel two, savoring his revenge — a dish best served cold … and sticky.” –SecretMargo
“Lovely office? Lovely? It’s two bookcases full of files with his bowling trophy and an award plaque from the association of loser Canadian CPAs and a model of a car that manufacturers give to dealers by the thousands. It’s a soul-sucking place, which is why Granthoy is so happy there. A normal human being would be drinking bourbon through a straw inside of a week.” –Professor Fate
“WANTED: Female accountant for an unbelievably expanding auto dealership chain. Must have plot device experience.” –Mibbitmaker
“I think ‘A nice girl’ and ‘We get along well’ is code for, ‘She is receptive to my unwanted, inappropriate sexual advances at work. Oh, and I told her she’d lose her job if she didn’t come with me.'” –martin
“I think we’re all forgetting the dark horse in this race: Gap-Toothed Starey ‘Hoooo!’ Guy. We all know GTSHG is the way to go. He’s personable, has a minimum of two actual friends, is jovial, and, um … thinks sex is funny? I don’t know where I was headed with this.” –Spoony Bard
“Gosh, I can’t think of anything more entertaining, more adventurous than following Mark along as he goes from office to office. Each day I wonder, ‘What will the desk look like?’ ‘Will there be any artwork on the walls?’ ‘Will I be able to spot a pencil sharpener or stapler lurking around?’ And, most importantly, ‘What sort of hairstyle and facial hair will Mark discover today?’ I’m so glad that Mark Trail is available to ‘guide’ me through the fascinating world of White Collar, White Man America.” –Laura Jane
“Lu Ann isn’t really dying; she always gets a bit panicky when she’s drowsy. Sleep is a confusing and frightening process for the terminally dense.” –Theominousoat
“This Roger Avery is making Heather look like a savvy business veteran. This idiot is planning to steal the corporation from his own stepmother and the sum total of his research on her is asking the moron driver who couldn’t even find his own car about her? And he believes every word of it? He’d have lasted about five minutes as Chairman of the Board before somebody bought his shares for a handful of magic beans.” –Dave H
“‘In the Restaurant of the Young’ — isn’t that a Raymond Carver short story? That would explain the waiter’s naked contempt, the blank walls, and the fact that the girl is a double amputee.” –Jim Anderson
And another opportunity to show some love to our advertisers:
- Bobbie Faye’s Very (very, very, very) Bad Day: This southern-fried, laugh-out-loud caper is “pure adrenaline!”
- 28 Weeks Later: The follow up to “28 Days Later” picks up 6 months after the virus has annihilated Britain. The rage virus is not dead and the fight for survival begins!
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