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We’ve got some running around to do this afternoon; I’m hoping to get Sunday’s strips up tonight, but, in case I don’t, I thought I’d get the CsOTW out of the way now. Here’s the top comment, which just about sums up the week’s drama.

“Remember the world before the Internet? I remember it as a time of innocence, when it would never occur to us that somewhere, someone is beating off to Slylock Fox.” –Rocky Jones

And here are the almost-made-its — a big list, this week.

“So really the nickname Clambake has little to do with an actual clambake and more to do with the fact that you can’t get him to shut up. One imagines that the people who gave him his not-all-that-meaningful moniker could have come up with something a little more accurate, like Gumflap or JesusChrist,SomeonePleaseHaveThisMan’sVocalChordsSurgicallyRemoved.” –Hannah

“If a saw-toothed hairdo guy in a Punisher t-shirt can hang with a purse-carrying kid wearing a bellhop hat, then why oh why can’t we all just get along?” –Trotzenbonnie

“Golly, if the words ‘come-hither expression’ don’t apply to the look on Jamaal’s face in the first panel, then I just don’t know what. But I wish they didn’t.” –Keg of Curd

“Like most of the recent FBoFW plotlines, the tale of Liz’s turn as a bridesmaid will be half drearily predictable bullshit and half character assassination. You’ll see the ultimate conclusion looming ominously from a mile away but will still be surprised at how unlikable the characters have become.” –Trilobite


Beasley, I am ashamed of you. You are a government employee with a strong union backing. You should have responded as follows: ‘I save the special deliveries for your wife, you colic-haired mutant.’ And then when he swings at you, you mace him to suit your whimsy.” –Sunny Mel Blatherscythe

“Meanwhile, the squirrel reads the backstory blurb in utter disbelief. ‘Oh my paws!’ he cries, ‘In a single sentence they’ve summed up five weeks of this crazy strip.'” –Proteus

“I keep coming back for the coveralls that the villains must wear by law in Mark Trail. Not since the Cylons in the original Battlestar Galactica, with their ping-pong ball eye, has a villain had such a useless yet consistent prop.” –King Folderol

“My God, the only thing stiffer than the characters in Mark Trail is the dialogue — it’s like watching two mannequins attempt innuendo written by a five year old. I’d make a joke about the stiffness and Mark’s penis, but let’s face it: neither of those … things in this strip seem to have genitalia.” –GG

“What’s wrong, Tommie? You’re white as a sheet exactly the same skin tone as me!” –Josh Millard

“Gabriella is off her meds again. Tommie’s an angel for happening to work in a hospital, Alan’s an angel for — GASP! — having a key. Maybe the doctor’s a unicorn or something.” –commodorejohn

“If Shawna-Marie walks down the aisle to anything other than the theme from Car Wash, I will be bitterly disappointed.” –Dingo

“Hmf. A sandwich buffet for Shawna-Marie’s rehearsal dinner. The bride gets cream, but the coffee gets 2% from the Loeb’s on Bathurst.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Margo’s hair is perfect, but she’s got bedhand.” –Edgy DC

“Q. How many Clambakes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Why, back when I was in the Negro Leagues, the white players usedta sneak into our locker rooms and bust all the lightbulbs. But we wouldn’t let it get us down. We’d let our bats speak for us. It’s important to keep your eyes fixed on one socket and keep twisting, no matter what kind of lightbulbs life hands you. [The days of practice roll on … and so does the lightbulb story!] And remember when it seems darkest, just pull your head and keep doing it. Did I tell you about when I played with Sockless Bob Farlon and Red ‘Blue’ Green? I recall one time I ate a sandwich, and it was really good, but I didn’t know what was in it. ‘What’s in this sandwich?’ I asked everybody in the room. Folks called me ‘Sandwich’ for a while there. But back in 1952…” –The Spectacular Spider-Brick

“But Professor, if we wait till morning, maybe Lu Ann will be dead, and then I won’t have to go at all.” –flotsam

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