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Hey, kids! Are you ready for the comment of the week!? You bet you are!

“Margo will be in for a surprise if she thinks that this blonde Sally Field character is going to just crumple before her in the manner of her usual victims. Look at the bewildered shock on her face there. ‘But … she’s pointing her finger at me! I don’t understand this at all! Can she do that??'” –Joe Bftsplk

And how ’bout some runners-up? You know it!

About Mary Worth: “It must be a challenge to have to think of the dullest possible conclusion to every series of events you introduce.” –Citric

“That’s some high-falutin’ language wasted on describing big trees, when meanwhile Mark talks like a slow, angry fifth grader Monday through Saturday.” –King Folderol

“Far above some hills or waters/ Proudly stands on high/ An institute of higher learning/ With buildings named for guys/ Local U, Local U/ Ever loyal we will remain/ And sing peans to our Alma Mater/ The U without a name. Go Fightin’ Vague Shapes! Yay!” –Dr. Mad

“What is Slick Smitty’s deal? He never really moves beyond the children’s prank stage of criminal behavior, and he antagonizes giant, man-sized animals that could effortlessly disembowel and devour him. I think he must be very depressed.” –Christopher

“If Crankshaft thinks that poetry is boring, he should try reading the poetry in The New Yorker. Of course, since Crankshaft is small town folk, the only New Yorker he knows is the kind he tries to hit with his bus.” –Steve S

“THAT IS NOT KARAOKE GET YOUR DEFINITIONS FROM THE DICTIONARY NOT FREE ASSOCIATION” –concrete_d

“With all that ‘girl’ business, Eva is clearly auditioning for the part of ‘Overly And Unnecessarily Sassy Friend Who Dispenses “Real” Advice Because She Has Family Issues And May Have Been Date Raped By That College Guy That One Time’ in She Said No, But He Said Yes. She’s already got the perm for it; all she needs now is a good pair of acid washed jeans and a flannel shirt.” –kat

“Dinner at a lousy restaurant, with no chance at sex? Sounds like a date to me, Dolly!” –andreavis

“Probably the most amazing thing about today’s strip is the box in the upper left corner which reads ‘Several Days Later…’ Considering the glacial pace at which things usually unfold in the MaryVerse, I can only guess that there must have been a fire at the syndicate office, and about six years’ worth of MW strips were destroyed.” –AhClem

“Obviously, Dr. Drew Cory, MD, has to put on his Elvis wig to call up women and make dates. Twenty years of intense therapy have done nothing about this fetish.” –Islamorada Girl

“Careful, you’ll spoil me by taking me to ‘Cafe.’ I hear it got four stars from Eponymous Eating Establishment Weekly.” –DaveyK

“The thing that most offends my sensibilities about this Crankshaft is neither the punning, nor the smirks, nor the deathly pallor, but rather the fact that the writer couldn’t be arsed to set up his punchline with anything remotely interesting. I mean, ‘look at the cows’? That’s it? You might as well just substitute the entire first panel with a placard that reads ‘PUN ABOUT COWS TO FOLLOW IN SECOND PANEL.'” –Darth Paradox

“I’m trying not to picture the second panel as Hekkie now living with his white-haired mother, whose social security check has supplemented his wife’s meager earnings as back-alley notary public. ‘Mother! Your incontinence is exceeded only by your lack of laundry skills!’ Wait. I guess I have pictured it.” –AeroSquid

Also in the comment department was a hilarious Zagat takeoff by faithful reader t.a.m.s.y., but I was afraid the quote marks wouldn’t really reproduce right if I put it here, and they were the key to the joke; fortunately, he went the extra mile to reproduce it in graphic form.

And, of course, the ongoing comment wackiness on this thread and others on Gail Martin’s life and times collectively deserve some kind of lifetime achievement awards. There’s even a Gail Martin wiki!

Finally, we must thank our advertisers, because that’s how Gail would want it:

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