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Hey there ho there hi there, it’s Monday night and that means COTW time!

“‘What?’, as a response to ‘I quit! We’re joining the Jungle Patrol!’, is the most realistic piece of dialogue ever to appear in The Phantom.” –Francis

And of course runner-up time as well:

“A plugger? With the correct diacritical marks in ‘déjà vu’? I think not!” –Uncle Lumpy

“I can’t believe Mark would ask why anyone would shoot at him. I think the question is: Why doesn’t everyone try to shoot at him?” –Gagott68

“I am starting to like Doctor Drew more and more. The last time we saw him, he was a whiny little tosser. This time, he is one hell of a confident little tosser. I bet that his first thought upon entering the coffeeshop was ‘Who ordered hot stud-bucket? ‘Cause a large serving is coming up.'” –Lord-z

“Oh, Josh! How can you talk about soap opera sex, and not mention ‘We’re still not high enough’ [in RMMD]? You know, to enjoy the sordid anal violations that are about to occur once we warm up by burning a pile of money. It’s all sex and drugs and money and sex and more sex and, and, wow, it’s warm in here NOW.” –Deborah

“I think Dr. Drew is preparing to play himself a jaunty congratulatory tune on his air harmonica. Perhaps it will be an entirely unknown bluegrass version of ‘I’m Too Sexy.'” –Carly

“Look at that grin on Peter [Parker]’s face in the first panel. Turning on the TV is like Christmas, sex, and crack all rolled up into one for him.” –Inspector Dim

“As a young, single woman in New York City, I must unfortunately admit that I do not find the Apt. 3-G girls’ depressing sex lives at all unrealistic. What is unrealistic is that they never seem to end up tearfully describing their loneliness to homeless people in a Papaya Dog at 4 a.m.” –Rizbon

Phantom: I repeat, this reads better if you assume it’s a musical.” –Bobdog

“I never really understood why Dr. Jeff thought that his son Drew was a smooth operator with the ladies until now. Jeff’s relationship with Mary is, of course, based entirely on grim desperation — he assumes that if he sits quietly next to her and holds her leathery hand long enough, eventually she’ll give it up. It makes sense that he’d mistake Drew’s own outrageously manic desperation for serious game, I guess.” –Trilobite

“What sort of lame bullying big brother puts on boxing gloves and abuses his younger siblings according to Marquess of Queensberry rules? Sucker punches and crotch kicks are not only allowed, they are mandatory.” –yellojkt

“Why do the patients have their eyes closed? HIPAA, simple as that.” –Royal Sampler

“Go ahead and throw yourself at him, Gloria. It’s not like he can dodge you.” –Chief Investigator Tracer Bullet of the Jungle Patrol

“I do love Vera’s playful protest that she doesn’t like surprises; it makes perfect sense that she’d move to Charterstone, where every plotline is telegraphed three weeks in advance and takes twice as long to complete. No one in Santa Royale has been surprised since the Eisenhower administration.” –Tats

“When I saw that throw-away panel in Marvin my first thought was almost exactly the same as the first time I heard Fergie’s ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’: Someone actually sat down and created this and wasn’t horrified enough by what they had done to throw holy water on it and set it on fire.” –Kurdt

“Who the hell is Ryan? No fair bringing in vague sartorially-challenged blonde men we have never met when there already are vague sartorially-challenged blonde ones we have. What is this, A3G?” –Mel

And throwing-love-at-our-advertisers-time as well!

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