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Goodness gracious, is it Monday already? I am actually going to be away for the next couple of days, but the inimitable Uncle Lumpy will be filling in; I’ll be back on Thursday 2/7. In the meantime, it’s time for more COTW goodness:

“Some advice for our would-be killers in Mark Trail today: instead of trying to bonk him inconclusively with your pontoons, why not try shooting him with your bullets? If you lose track of him, just listen for the sound of someone yelling instructions to his dog.” –Inspector Dim

And the usual runner-uppery:

“Is it just me, or does Vera’s new boyfriend look a lot like Rick Astley? I can see why she would be interested in someone who’s never gonna give her up, never gonna let her down, and never gonna run around and desert her, because Drew Cory is obviously none of these things.” –GJ

“If Francisco Franco had decided to defeat the Republicans by challenging them to a game of hoops, rather than brutally murdering them with the help of the Luftwaffe, Picasso’s Guernica would have turned out like the second panel of today’s Gil Thorp.” –Nekrotzar

“Andrew looks kinda sad. I guess if I were a hideous, half-formed conjoined twin growing out of Andre the Giant’s back, I’d be pretty bummed too.” –Rhekarid

“Had I been asked to bet which comic strip character could deliver the word ‘mumble’ so threateningly I would actually recoil a little, my money would actually not have been on Gil Thorp.” –Violet

“I love the idea of Gil Thorp just not remembering whether or not he mumbled about the screen. An arc about an amnesiac coach would be spectacular. ‘Andrew, you’re the only one I can trust with my memories. Did I mumble? Did I put something in the oven? Do you smell smoke?'” –Hasty Penguin

Judge Parker: As a lawyer, I can tell you that the practice of law is exactly as boring as depicted in this strip. Tomorrow, Sam will tell Gloria that they are running low on post-it strips! Next week will be consumed by copier toner issues! I for one can’t wait to see what kind of legal pads Steve uses!” –AMSTERDANG

Drew’s facial expressions in today’s MW are outstanding! I’m positively giddy looking at them. What the hell is wrong with me?” –Jungle Mountain Mama

“Man, for all the complaining we do about Mary Worth’s titular character, I’ve really grown to miss her during her prolonged absence from her own strip. Sure, she may be insufferably self-righteous and clearly evil, but God help her, she keeps the idiots in line.” –Tats

“Remember when you were a kid and you’d make a face, and someone would say, ‘If you keep doing that, it’ll stick like that’? That’s how Mrs. Dinkle looks. Really, that’s how most FW characters look.” –Atomic Bird

“I was going to note how those hard-charging ‘self-starters’ still find time to take three-hour lunches and randomly boff in the copy room, but then I thought: have we ever seen Dr. Drew actually practice medicine, or just watched him stalk, mope, finger his clothing, make broad insane gestures in public, and be ogled by random women who probably think he’s a serial killer? Mary is the most productive worker in the strip!” –Mr. Coffee Nerves

“I highly doubt that pluggers wear suits, or, for that matter, ride in the devil’s chamber, this so-called ‘elevator.’ The wish to ‘elevate’ one’s self smacks of pride. And we all know exactly what pride did to Nebuchadnezzar, Caiaphas, and Nimrod, don’t we? (If you do, you’re a plugger.) Most likely the plugger believes the devilvator is itself urging him to touch it, which explains his alarm.” –teddytoad

“I don’t know, Spidey’s a little insane and a lot retarded; this completely idiotic truck-napping/jail break might actually be what he’d expect, since it’s nothing anybody with normal thought processes would expect.” –Impulse

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