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Spider-Man, 11/5/08

After a contentious election season, can we not come together as one people and agree that Spider-Man is hilarious? Our crack police duo, having solved this caper from the moment they arrived on the scene, raise their voice slightly for backup while the web-crawler lurches off at medium speed in a direction that does not appear to be towards the exits. As Spidey wrestles with those “nutty handcuffs,” one is also invited to contemplate how many lovely antique timepieces Big Time could have purchased legitimately, had he chosen to market this ultrahard yet malleable metal for the variety of industrial uses that might suggest themselves to anyone who thinks about it for more than thirty seconds.

Apartment 3-G, 11/5/08

So, after much comical drug use and a little light murder on the part of her boyfriend, Lu Ann has made good on her months-old promise to decamp to South Dakota (nickname: “The Baja Peace Garden State”), which leads Margo and Ruby to engage in awkward banter that seems to hint that Lu Ann is involved in some kind of contract dispute with the strip’s producers.

Anyway, Lu Ann’s absence ought by rights to provide the perfect opportunity for Apartment 3-G to provide us with a little Tommie time, but naturally that won’t happen because she’s boring even by soap opera comic standards. Hopefully, then, we’ll get to see fill-in roommate Ruby working in the wedding planning business that Margo so cavalierly abandoned when Eric conned her into running his art gallery. Extra bonus points if some discreet questioning of clients on Margo’s part reveals that Ruby’s simple, no-fuss steadiness is a marked contrast to Margo’s comical incompetence, which discovery would naturally lead to Ruby’s immediate dismissal.

(Side note: “a little Tommie time” is what Gary calls it when he gets to second base with Tommie.)

Crock, 11/5/08

Grossie and her friend have just seen Ing, a heart-breaking romance between two gerunds. At first, their love moved forward progressively, but they were eventually torn apart when they couldn’t agree whether their relationship should be governed by a possessive or objective pronoun.

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