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Slylock Fox, 11/13/09

Some readers have claimed that in my past commentaries I have unjustly slandered the reputation of the noble raccoon, and perhaps this is true! But I am certainly not alone in fomenting negative media images of these clever creatures. Check out this masked fellow, tightly gripping onto his “lunch,” a wide-eyed still-living fish gasping for oxygen in the terrible waterless realm outside his home pond. “For the love of God,” it begs with its eyes, “put me out of my misery! This is agony!” But the raccoon just grins mischievously. “Oh, this? Yeah, I scooped this fish out the lake. I’ll probably eat him, eventually, but I thought I’d just carry him around for a while and let him thrash first. So, what have you been up to?”

Baldo, 11/13/09

Oh, look, it’s comics crossover fun in Baldo! This strip is actually surprisingly realistic: most crossover strips show comics characters laughing it up at some big party, but if you think about it, if you saw a group of fictional characters, all with wildly differing proportions and basic bodily structures, you too would react by staring at them in silent, wide-eyed horror, as everyone in the third panel appears to be doing.

Mary Worth, 11/13/09

“My advice? Oh, Adrian, dear, you know I don’t like to use that word! It implies that you have the option not to obey me. I prefer the term ‘unbreakable divine command.'”