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Hello everyone! Many readers have sent me images and other exciting ITEMS that I haven’t had time to go through this week — I promise to feature them in a future metapost. Apologies if you sent me something and I haven’t responded to you yet! Until then, though, I offer only this comment of the week:

“I’m tempted to make a snarky comment about the desperation of dying print media that they’d print something by Trail, but it really is an article the public needs to know. ‘I trespassed onto private property, harassed an armed senator, and punched the future governor — By Mark Trail.'” –Speck

And the runners up! Also funny!

Today’s Mark Trail takes place in an alternate universe where a small girl and a cute baby deer that you totally didn’t shoot doesn’t constitute the photo op of a lifetime for two politicians.” –JB

“Pet shooting aside, Frank is going to have a hard time selling himself as the ‘family values’ candidate given his total lack of interest in learning or using his step-daughter’s name.” –Thomas B.

“The local obit section, aka ‘Facebook for pluggers.’” –Jake Morgendorffer

“I don’t know why anyone would think Lisa’s Story didn’t have a happy ending. She got away from Les, didn’t she?” –Poteet

“Billy, you’ve only written three large words and some scribbles. Grandmothers around the world are probably posting this on their refrigerators, though. ‘Haha, my grandson is a moron too!'” –Shawn S.

“The bad guy has kicked him twice now, but Lucky hasn’t budged an inch. That little deer’s a fucking badass.” –Doctor Handsome

“He’s right, he may not get to do that much any more, if there is a three-strikes law in his state.” –tbiggs

“MJ: ‘Now I remember! The Moleman once fought the Fantastic Four!’ Peter: ‘What a bunch of chumps! It’s much easier just to let him walk away.'” –Francisco Arrowroot

“I’d be pissed if I was Cody Exner — ripped away from my dad, Cars frontman Ric Ocasek. Paulina smokes to stay thin!” –Sed

“I like to imagine Aunt Iris as having a high-pitched-serial-killer voice when she says ‘Hello, dearie!’ Hello, dearie, would you like to try my pecan pie? My secret ingredient is YOUR BRAINS.” –SamECircle

“Perhaps Bil is holding sweaters while he hides in the bushes because he plans to tackle the trick-or-treaters to the ground and make them put on sweaters, since this is what passes for fun in the Keane Household; they aren’t allowed to play with anything modern so instead they play ‘Sweater Tackle’. I dunno, that seems at least as logical as anything else I can come up with to explain this weirdo’s actions.” –Alison

“I know the perspective in Gil Thorp is generally insane, but does anyone really hang their diploma a millimeter below their drop ceiling?” –Patrick

“I’m betting Tommie walks into rooms saying ‘Where is everyone?’ a lot.” –Paddy

“In the perpetual ’50s of the Family Circus universe, the only people with full Van Dyck beards are Freudian psychoanalysts who came to America in the ’30s to escape the war. This one will evidently be kept very busy.” –Ktrout

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

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