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Thanks to everyone everywhere who sent me a link to this magnificent spoof trailer for a gritty, realistic Archie movie:

And now … your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Is this strip still about the horrible Twitter? Or is it about Wilbur’s loneliness and depression? I’m honestly not sure at this point.” –S. Stout

And your runners up! Very funny!

“I do like Abe reclining in the rocking chair with his hands behind his head. ‘That’s right, George, he shot me here, right in the back of the head! While I was at a fucking theatre!’” –Mooncattie

“I am surprised to not see any snark about Luann’s mom telling her to be like a cockroach. I would post some myself, but don’t want to admit I read that strip of my own free will.” –NoahSnark

“As annoying as it is when a long-running series is used to launch a disconnected spin-off, it’s also hard not to be excited about Jim Scancarelli’s new ‘Dead presidents in rocking chairs bitching about Earth from Hell’ strip.” –Jaliben

“I am starting to think that Wilbur and Dawn are actually the same person à la Fight Club. Like most ‘women’ online, Dawn is actually a frumpy, balding, middle-aged man. Wilbur’s alter ego is becoming autonomous, and only the brown syrupy juice of the Peyote plant can bring them back together.” –Jesse

“Hey, Wilbur, there’s a website I think you might want to check out. It’s called” –Violet

“I doubt Loweezy can write, or that the Parson’s wife can read for that matter, so the ‘recipe’ she handed over is probably the eight slightly squiggly lines we see in the comic.” –TheTJ

“Since I didn’t get the part as Edward in the Twilight movies, I’ve lost all interest in vampirism. Except the bats. The bats I like.” –Scott Bot

“I still have hopes that the lady and her daughter are just hallucinations of rescue brought on by Mark’s massive blood loss. And also, that all of those seagulls are really vultures.” –BRWombat

“Mommy, guess how much stupid weighs!” –Doctor Handsome

“The most realistic part of this is that Mary and Rex are still fully clothed.” –Oregonian

“To be fair, mommy’s recipe calls for almost 40 lbs. of children.” –js

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

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