Post Content

Funky Winkerbean, 8/6/11

Oh, man, did I almost somehow manage to not comment on an entire week of Les grousing and moaning about the fine print on the contract he was forced to sign because sinister Hollywood wants to turn Lisa’s Story into a wacky comedy called Cancer Movie? Here’s the climax of the entire sullen festival of entitlement, in which our hero complains of having been sucked dry by the entertainment industry vampires, who have given him literally nothing in return. Yes, of course a tidy check counts as “nothing.” I’m sure Les barely even cashed it. Are you seriously trying to put a price tag on art? Are you not aware that Lisa died, of cancer?

Anyway, Les, if this is like most Hollywood book options, it was approved by some mid-level studio exec trying to improve his reputation by getting a middlebrow tearjerker out for awards season three years from now, but said exec will be outmaneuvered by other players within the company who have optioned other books, books that can be turned into movies that people might actually pay money to see, so you really don’t have to worry about anything terrible happening to your precious book. If you’re really lucky, when your option is about to expire two years from now, someone at the studio will notice, think, “Huh, who the hell approved this? Enh, better re-up in case it was somebody important,” and send you another check. That should be about the extent of your hopes in this matter.

Judge Parker, 8/6/11

Oh, were you worried that there might be a minor ancillary character in Judge Parker who wasn’t going to be rewarded for their non-efforts with six figures? Well, you can relax.