Oh, hi, is your comment of the week SHOCKINGLY EARLY? Well, I guess that depends on how easily you’re shocked, but here it is.
“Let me get this straight: Dagwood is supposed to be OCDing about Vanna White’s farewell messages, and he’s figured out the ratio of ‘bye-byes’ to ‘goodbyes,’ but the only detail he knows about the ‘so longs’ are that they happen ‘occasionally?’ Is the ratio 23 bye-byes to a so long? 47? 112? NOT GOOD ENOUGH, DAGWOOD. MY GRADUATE THESIS IS VERY DISAPPOINTED.” –T Campbell
And here are your hilarious runners up!
“You’re being threatened by the mob? There has never been a better time to raise the roof, amirite Gina?” –Stevesie
“So, this part of Mark Trail is a dream sequence, right? I mean, when I find myself in a cabin being served tea by Pocahontas, talking with Super Mario about how where to find Steve McQueen, I just assume I’m dreaming.” –pugfuggly
“While it may seem like he’s referring to the gay community, that’s clearly not the case. No self-respecting gay lumberjack would ever hang a yellow-and-lime-green rug diagonally on their wall.” –Master Mahan
“I bet a lot of women start looking up A.A. meetings and therapists as soon as Gil leaves their apartment.” –Doctor Handsome
“This is my friend, Ed Crankshaft. And by ‘friend,’ I mean bitter, lonely old man who follows me around making abysmal puns until I can find someone to fob him off on. Well, he’s your problem now!” –Pozzo
“That intervention went by so quickly, it makes Gil the One-Hour Photo Hut of alcoholism treatment. ‘Got the DTs? Call GT!'” –The Gringo Kid
“I lost my wife during the second deployment … tank accident … uh, no, car accident, cars, that’s it. Car. Yeah. A Toyota. [Pause.] I’m very popular in the community.” –Little Blue Bicycle
“Hey Margo, exactly what is it about a guy from Hoboken that makes him inappropriate? Was it that he went out for a real meal rather than eat that box of baking soda you have boiling on the stove?” –Thomas B.
Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.