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Your comments of the week coming shortly, of course, but let us not forget two important things you can wisely spend your money on, today:

  • Santa vs. Dracula, an upcoming graphic novel from Ed Power and Melissa DeJesus, creators of My Cage. Pre-order and help make this happen!
  • [Citation Needed], the book, the best of Wikipedia’s worst writing, co-compiled and joked up by yours truly! Available in paperback and Kindle form!

And now, your comment of the week:

“I like how Toby is clearly just waking up once Mary finishes her non-Cameron-themed story and says Toby’s name. ‘SNRX- huh? Wha? What about me? What?'” –Snuggs

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Margo is being literal, of course — she left Queen Bee immobilized as prey for the brood of spiders who worship her as a dark goddess.” –NoahSnark

“The Crankshaft timeline is 20 years in the past and he’s telling the kids to just wait until they’re older, then they’ll understand financial woes. I’m sure now that they’re buried under student loans and assorted debt, they really chuckle at that poor man’s clever Halloween ‘joke.’ #OccupyCrankshaft” –Chareth Cutestory

“Well, that’s it. She won’t be able to ever leave her 3G cohorts (according to her contract with the strip) now. Too sad. Well, whatever it takes to keep dimwit from a cult, I guess.” –Mibbitmaker

“It does warm the cockles of my heart to see Mark still rocking the pink button-up, though. Everyone knows that mauve is the new khaki, Mark, and don’t let no one tell you any different (by punching them in the mouth before they can get the words out.)” –stopdropreload

“‘Gas bomb–exploded right under my feet’? I believe it’s traditional to blame the dog, Peter.” –Chyron HR

“If Mary Worth had paid attention to Sgt. Jim of the Railroad Police in last Sunday’s Crime Stoppers, she’d have xeroxed copies of everything in her wallet! Then everything would be jake.” –Nehemiah Scudder

“I literally did not notice the purse-stealing in Mary Worth. I am so used to ignoring the impeccably bland backgrounds and frustrating perspective that I completely missed that. Also, to give them their due, I honestly am shocked to see Mary Worth SHOWING instead of TELLING. I would’ve expected it to go like this: ‘Toby, how are — this thug is stealing my purse!’ ‘Mary, that man is getting away with your purse!’ ‘Police! He took my purse!!'” –Margaret

“Hey, did I mention I have a hot one-armed wife and her first husband wasn’t really dead but came back all messed up in the head after being held captive for like a decade overseas? Yeah … but let me defend video games to a kid who already agrees with me. We all have to fight our own battles. Mine is against the PMRC, circa 1990. By the way, kid, what’s with the facial hair? I thought you were like 10?” –smacky

“Oh boy! A whole Mary Worth plot line centred around identity theft, with Mary’s identity getting stolen!!! Presumably our time-travelling thieves from yesterday will head immediately to the Diner to cash in all of Mary’s ‘Frequent Pie-er’ points and tell the sad waitress there to give up on love.” –pugfuggly

“I got very excited the first time I read through today’s Mark Trail, because I thought we were finally getting what we’ve all waited so long for: a storyline that deals with Joe Biden’s infamous ‘lost years’. Sadly, it seems Mark Trail is not yet brave enough to take on the issue directly, and is engaged in a weak attempt to mask it by calling its Biden character ‘Mother McQueen.’ You’re not fooling anyone Elrod!” –Justinian

“Just to be clear: I’m not bothered by the bear being named Honey because it subverts traditional gender roles; it just seems to imply that the old lady’s fucking that bear.” –Doctor Handsome

“The money — all of it — belongs to Abbey. The house, the big honkin’ bus/RV, the stables you are allowed to clean, all of it. Abbey’s. If anybody is allowed to buy a pricey guitar to lure a teenaged boy into sex, it is Abbey.” –Snowshoecat

“They want to protect the animals’ valley? Then why do their actions run exactly counter to this desired outcome? If you don’t want to reveal there is gold in the valley, how about not forging gold bands from gold from the valley and sticking them on the legs of migratory birds? Maybe that would better accomplish that goal? For example: I lock my bike at the train station in a somewhat dubious part of town. I do not walk around hanging up flyers saying, ‘Cool mountain bike locked at train station! The frame is full of cocaine and scratch tickets!'” –geekwhisperer

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

  • Magic on the Line: Not your average heroine! Allie Beckstrom has always played by the rules, but when dark magic and death begin to spread across Portland she must break free — even if it means putting her abilities and life on the line…

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