Funky Winkerbean, 11/22/11
So, for those of you who haven’t been following Funky Winkerbean’s latest doom-ridden plot: Westview residents voted down the school levy, probably because it’s cruel to give children just enough intellectual tools to understand how bleak and meaningless their lives are; why not leave them the bliss of ignorance, since no other kind of bliss is available? Anyway, as a result, all the sports programs were shut down … but now Funky has a plan to sneakily get the local businesses and townsfolk to tax themselves to pay for the programs, via gambling. Surely this ad hoc town-wide raffle will rather quickly evolve into a massive casino with slots and table games, all presided over by Funky, Westview’s chief capitalist. But don’t worry about him gloating too much over his good fortune! He promises to look as detached and benumbed as he rakes in the ill-gotten cash as he does in panel three, where he coldly snuffs out any hint of enthusiasm that might enter his field of vision.
“Ha ha! No, but seriously, I’m an artist and I don’t have any money to buy food. I like to come down to the mall because I can steal Horsey Sauce packets from the Arby’s in the food court!”