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Spider-Man, 5/31/12

So I’ve done some extensive research (i.e., 90 seconds or so of cursory Googling) and I can’t find any evidence of “Clown-9” appearing in any iteration of the Spider-Man mythos before this! I’m sure that I’m about to be severely corrected by angry comic book nerds mere seconds from now, but for the moment I’m going to choose to believe that Newspaper Spider-Man has finally risen high enough in Marvel’s pecking order that it’s being allowed to introduce its own super-villains. Naturally its first attempt is Clown-9, an unfunny man with no particular superpowers dressed in an ugly clown outfit, choosing a villain-name based on a feeble stab at wordplay, determined to exact revenge on those who thwarted his attempt at Broadway stardom. Panel one, in which we see this pathetic figure in his underwear as he changes pants, is presumably this feature’s attempt at the “gritty realism” it’s heard so much about.

Gasoline Alley, 5/31/12

Are you looking for a metaphor that’s supposed to indicate something good and yet will fill anyone who hears it with revulsion and disgust? How about “happy as a kitty with a mouth full of mouse meat”? Mmm mmm, mouse meat! Mouse meat in your mouth. So much mouse meat in your mouth that your mouth is full … full of mouse meat. Enjoy!

Marmaduke, 5/31/12

Marmaduke’s owners believe that, if only they violate all human laws to help him satisfy his foul sexual appetites, he will spare them when the Day of Wrath comes. How wrong they are!