As you head into your Labor Day weekend, enjoy this COTW, won’t you?
“The Keane kids have to see who’s going to be chosen in this year’s family vote to be sacrificed for the harvest. There’s a lot of talk around Billy, but I wouldn’t count out PJ yet.” –pugfuggly
Also, enjoy this hilarious runners up!
“Pluggers don’t live in places that have 500-page Yellow Pages books. I call shenanigans.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip
“When yo’ mama sits around the Internet, she sits around the Internet … like on all the websitses … ’cause there’s so many of ’em … I’ll come in again.” –Ian Beste
“Rusty’s just phoning in his stupidity. ‘Some bad guys I’ve never seen before were just menacing me. Oh, look, that formerly abandoned house now appears to be occupied. It would be a good idea for me to see who’s there now.’ Doesn’t he care enough to put more effort than that into getting into peril?” –Randy
“The soil is especially rich [in LoFo], thanks to the remains of all the rotting criminals tied to trees and forgotten over the past few decades. (The Indian burial ground, where Rusty finds old arrowheads, is just a couple of miles from the criminal mulching ground, where Rusty finds old sideburns.)” –Shrug, Speaker to Spam
“I’ve done it! I’ve finally seen a Barney Google strip where none of their hideous tongues are flopping out of their skulls. I am free!” –zaratustra
“RIP Mary Worth … She is dead in that panel, right?” –sporknpork
“I think I see what’s happened here. Wilbur has been set free. He’s got a new column as a dashing adventure-blogger, a world traveler who delights us with his witty observations and scrapes with disaster. Sort of a prosciutto-stuffed Bill Bryson. Meanwhile Mary has become a freelance-drone, hunched over the keyboard trying to turn content on deadline, probably as a click bait to the paper’s erstwhile sponsors. We’re talking a bold new direction here, and papers across the country will now be invited to carry bold new storyline comic The Wilbs, designed to appeal to the male 60+ balding overweight loner demographic, who coincidentally are the only people actually reading newspapers nowadays. It will run next to Pluggers.” –geekwhisperer
“The ‘first ballot’ thing may be a Hall of Fame voting reference, since the kids are playing baseball. This also might explain once and for all the freakishly oversized heads of the Keane kids: they’ve taken steroids, the better with which to humiliate their schoolyard sports opposition.” –Windier E. Megatons
“I liked Dawn better when she moped all the time. And I hated her then.” –debussy fields
“Who owns a suit in Hootin’ Holler? Anyone with a shovel and the ability to dig 6 feet down.” –Chareth Cutestory
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- I Could Pee on This and Other Poems by Cats by Francesco Marciuliano: For eons cats have strived to express their thoughts and feelings through body language, plaintive meowing, and a filmmaking style known as “fallen camera nudged across floor until forgotten or smeared with saliva.” But now thanks to the stirring power of poetry they can finally share what it truly means to be a cat.
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