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Gil Thorp, 3/12/13

Oh, hey, Gil Thorp, remember that thing? What’s been up there? Well, let’s see … the miraculous basketball-improving peacock that Scott Fowler (OMG “FOWL”ER I LITERALLY JUST GOT THIS) thought was his reincarnated little brother was just some dude’s peacock that kept getting out of its pen. Gil, after making fun of Scott for his idiocy, decided to harness the idiocy of everyone else on the team by having them go hang out with the peacock and collectively gain its completely fake magic powers. This got them into the playdowns, apparently! Too bad they’re going up against Hamilton, a team that has its own lucky creature deal going on. Do you think this pig contains the spirit of their point guard’s dead dad or something? Whatever, it will surely be enough to ensure that Milford is ignominiously defeated in the first round.

Judge Parker, 3/12/13

Call it Stockholm Syndrome, but I will never tire of Judge Parker strips where beautiful people talk about money while petting pretty pretty horses. Did you even know how lucrative maritime law is, peasant? Of course not! You’re probably unfamiliar with even the basics of yachting lore!

Mark Trail, 3/12/13

“Bass boats … fishermen … the usual stuff … docks … bait shops … vans … fish guts left lying out on docks … wow, this kid sure is lonely and sad and obsessed with fishing, am I right? Maybe it’s for the best that a great fisherman like Rod Bassy has kidnapped him.”