Slylock Fox, 4/15/13
I’m sorry, Slylock, but your ratiocination has failed you today! Your logic has neglected to take into account the polysemous nature of the word “plant.” Shady Shrew wasn’t claiming to have grown silk on some fantastical tree or bush! No, he was using “plant” in the sense of a factory, and was referring to a vast, Dickensian structure in the gritty industrial port of Marseilles, where sentient silkworms are enslaved to help make the cheap shirts that retailers like Shady Shrew sell to sentient birds and beavers. Enjoy your nice blouses, ladies, you’ve got silkworm blood on your hands. [NOTE TO SELF: CHECK WIKIPEDIA BEFORE PUBLISHING THIS TO SEE IF SILKWORMS HAVE BLOOD]
Dennis the Menace, 4/15/13
Oh come on, Mr. Wilson, we all know the IRS doesn’t allow you to claim fractional dependents! Really, if you’re going to try to lay the groundwork for an insanity defense at your trial for Dennis’s gory dismemberment, you’re going to have to do better than that.
Book-o-tainment note: I have been on a Leave of Absence from Wonkette due to my need to finish writing my novel, but Wonkette writer (and Comics Curmudgeon reader) Dok Zoom has a review of the new Al Capp biography over there that might be of interest to you!